Totaly inapropriate!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Okay, I've had a good search of these here Forums and couldn't find a similar thread, but I may have missed it so forgive me if I have...

Talking to my older sibling, we came up with an amusing game in which we named the most inappropriate actor (and or famous personality) to play the part of a Character from Tolkien. Not just The Lord of the Rings, but also; The Hobbit, The Silmarillion, Farmer Giles of Ham, Tom Bombadill ect and so on.

Expanding on this, we then continued to make up other situations, such as; completely inappropriate music for certain scenes, silly hats, sound effects and so on.

So here is my idea for this thread:

Chose from the following (or do all of them if ye wish)
- Come up with a completely ironic / inappropriate person to play a part of a character from Tolkien.
- Music that would be amusing in a specific place.
- Sound effects that would make the whole experience much more amusing

I want to give everyone a lot of freedom in this, so if you can come up with something more amusing to parody besides actors, music, sound effect ect, please do.

Oh, and if you wish, give an explanation for you choice.

SO finally, here's my take:

Brian Blessed to play Legolass for the soul reason that his voice is completely different to what any elf should have, also, he looks rather Dwarvish.

"In the Hall of the Mountain King" (Or "That tune they use at Alton Towers" for all ye who don't know what I'm talking about) for the Shire theme music. Perhaps not during the scoring of the shire, but when it is peaceful it would really give the wrong impression.

Instead of the clash of metal when swords collide, the sound of a small furry thing being put through a mangle. That way no one really notices the violence due to the pure insanity of the sound effects.

Please enjoy.

[Shelob]

Music:
If any of you are familiar with 'the fish heads' song (fish heads, fish heads, rolly polly fish heads, fish heads, fish heads, eat them up yum!) it should definately be heared faintly when Bilbo first meets Gollum (or, failing that, sung by Gollum)
I don't actually know the name of the song, but I get the line "I can see clearly now..." from it suck in my head all the time, anyway, that song when Frodo decides to keep the ring for himself at Mt. Doom.


Sound Effects:
The sounds of two light sabers (Star Wars) hitting instead of swords.
Similarly, the sounds of phasers (Star Trek) instead of arrows.


And as a suggestion, what about really rather inappropriate lines?
To explain this I would give the example that while my brother and I were watching The Return of the King one day when the King of the Dead said "who dares to disturb us?" (or something like that---I can't remember exactly) I responded "Pizza delivery boy." (I was rather hungry, so pizza was the only thing I could think of) My brother picked up on the general idea and then responded for the King of the Dead...and things spiralled downhill from there.

I don't mean for people to type out whole conversations, just single lines which are really out of place given the actual context.

(I just realized this is my 52nd post, Yay!--if you wonder why this number is better than, say, 50 itself I highly suggest you go count the number of cards in a standard deck of cards [ie: one with four suits and 13 values per suites])

[malkatoj]

Andre the Giant (Fezzik) as Legolas
Mandy Patinkin (Inigo Montoya) as Arwen
Chris Sarandon (Prince Humperdinck) as Sauron
Billy Crystal (Miracle Max) as Elrond
Wallace Shawn (Vizzini) as Aragorn
Cary Elwes (Westley) as Wormtongue
Robin Wright Penn (Buttercup) as Gimli

Yeah, that sounds pretty terrible. For the most effect, they have to keep the same personalities...

[Shelob]

I showed this thread to my brother (along with a handful of others...we're really bored) and as soon as he understood the idea he suggested this wonderful piece of inappropriatness:

"I think the best sound effect would be when the balrog comes on, y'know he steps on the bridge and there's kinda a stomping noise, well instead of that there should be a squishing noise...'ahh Gandalf!'"

Thank you brother..you made my day.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Squeaking noises need to be put in every time a hobbit foot lands on the ground. Because this would make the Frodo and Sam parts slightly more amusing:

Gollum: the dead mashes they are.

Sam: They do *squeak* make an *squeak* awful *squeak* smell.

Circus music for Moria. No explanation needed I think :D

[SamwiseGamgee]

How about having stupid hyena things as wargs! :D

No, but seriously. Good topic Hookbill. How about Hulk Hogan as Gandalf. Perhaps Joe Pasquali as the voice of Sauron?

How about Rage Against The Machine's 'Take the power back' when Frodo throws the Ring into the Crack of Doom.

There are heaps more, but they're either too surreal or rude! Haha!

[Nimrodel_9]

The Uruk-hai could sing "We Will Rock You" while banging their spears and such on the ground at Helm's Deep. :p

At Bilbo's party, when he puts on the Ring, there should be a loud popping noise, like a bubble. (The same with Sauron when he "explodes.")

For those of you who are familiar with albinoblacksheep.com, "The Llama Song (http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama.php)" in the Shire. :D

Robin Williams as Gandalf, for no reason at all. :D

[Tuor of Gondolin]

The Python who sings "The Lumberjack Song" as Aragorn
singing the song as the Three Hunters plus Arwen
(his best girlie by his side) enter Fangorn.
The chorus is, of course, Treebeard, Quickbeam, et al.

[Bêthberry]

A few suggestions, some better than others, but all just slightly skewed:

Frodo: Alan Bates
Sam: Oliver Reed
Rosie: Glenda Jackson
Gimli: George Wendt (Norm of Cheers)
Legolas: John Ratzenberger (Cliff of Cheers)
Elrond: Orson Wells
Aragorn: Omar Sharif
Bilbo: Tom Hanks
Gandalf: Rowan Atkinson
Merry: Sean O'Connery
Pippin: Peter O'Toole
Galadriel: Whoopi Goldberg
Arwen: Meg Ryan
Grima: Harrison Ford
Denethor: Benicio Del Toro
Faramir: Kevin Kline
Boromir: Charleton Heston
Eowyn: Kate Winslet
Tom Bombadil: Danny DeVito
with special guest appearance as Goldberry: Jamie Lee Curtis

[Gurthang]

How about Pippin sings a little solo from the Sound of Music. When he hears drums in the deep, he bursts out with: 'The hills are alive with the sound of music!'

Here'd be a real twist. Let's cast Roger Rabbit as the Witch-king! :eek:

And for the brilliant sound effect: a whoopie cushion everytime someone sits down. :D

[Lalwendë]

With a League of Gentlemen twist:

Tubbs and Edward as Galadriel and Celeborn. Would eliminate the need for any Elven guards on Lothlorien, as everyone would be too scared to go near. "This is a local wood, for local people".

Papa Lazarou as Aragorn. As Arwen places her hand in his his true nature is revealed and he growls "oooh, you're my wife now", and then locks her up with his collection of other wives.

Hilary Briss as Gandalf, the grand meat butcher overlord, insidiously infecting the peoples of Middle Earth with the insatiable desire for 'special stuff'.

If you don't know to what I am referring then why not? ;) But here is a link to more: http://www.leagueofgentlemen.co.uk/

[Bywaters]

I would like to have heard the music from the Benny Hill show as the Uruk-Hai are being pursued by Aragorn and company.

It would have been nice to have heard a bit of reggae coming from the outer walls of Isengard as Merry and Pippin come across the Long Bottom leaf and smoke is seem rising from the store room!

When the the orcs are cutting down the trees at Isengard etc it would have been good to have heard a chain-saw a la the quest for the holy grail.

:)

[Rumil]

Lalwende that was inspired!! :D :D

This explains the transformation of Glorfindel to Arwen - he/she must be Babs from Bab's Cabs. (Gruff accent - 'since returning from Valinor there've been some changes')

Roy Chubby Brown as Will Whitfoot, mayor of the Shire.

Gollum could suggest a stimulating game of 'Go Johnny Go Go Go Go' rather than the confusing riddles.

[The Only Real Estel]

Well, I guess this crazy cast list that my friends & I came up with while watching TTT at about two in the morning comes close enough for qualifying:

Frodo: Arthur
Sam: Energizer Bunny (he just keeps going & going...)
Rosie: Ms. Piggy
Gimli: Syndrome
Legolas: Frozone
Elrond: John Madden (can you imagine how long the Council of Elrond would've taken with him 'simplifying' things
Aragorn: Earnest P. Worrell from the Earnest movies
Bilbo: Steve Urchel from Family Matters
Gandalf: Mr. Rogers (we made this before certain deaths took place)
Merry (Mary?): Mary Kate Olson
Pippin (Pipi? :eek: ): Ashley Olson
Galadriel: Martha Stewart
Arwen: Oprah Winfrey
Grima: Michael Jackson (I'm sorry but the appearances are just to close to being similar)
Denethor: Red Green (from the Red Green Show)
Faramir: Harold (from the Red Green Show)
Boromir: Chewbacca
Eowyn: Darla (from Finding Nemo)
Tom Bombadil: Robin Williams (well, maybe he's not so far off :p)
'Gothmog': Ozzie Osbourn

And I might post more later. ;)

[arcticstorm]

Bill Ferney: Alan Alda
Elrond: David Ogden Steirs
Boromir: Shaq
Smeagol: James Earl Jones
Eowyn: Loretta Switt

[luthien-elvenprincess]

When Saruman rings up Sauron on the palantir, one of them should say "Can you hear me now...how about now...and now...?".
Or, as Saruman is making the call, a recorded voice should be heard asking him, "Would you like to donate some of your palantir minutes for the troops?"

[Beanamir of Gondor]

For some reason, the picture of Sam and Frodo dancing around on the top of Mt Doom singing "Because you can can can!" pops into my head.

And Nimrodel, what about Boromir singing albinoblacksheep's NumaNuma (http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/numa.php)?

[Melkor]

Tom Cruise as Frodo

[Melkor]

Id like to see sam and Frodo play dance revolution in the house of rivindel

[Nimrodel_9]

And Nimrodel, what about Boromir singing albinoblacksheep's NumaNuma (http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/numa.php)? Ha ha! That's great! :D
Tom Cruise as Frodo. Oh yeah! :eek:

"Wipeout" as the fellowship travel down the Great River. :D

[Lathriel]

Sandra Bullock as Arwen
Sound effect:her laugh as in Miss Congenialty

Elrond:Robin Williams (Mr serious has taken a comic turn.)

[arcticstorm]

Yul Brenner as Aragorn

[The Only Real Estel]

For music I keep hearing that "One Two Step" song being blasted as the hobbits dance at Bilbo's birthday party. Especially when Gandalf starts hopping around with one hand up in the air--great, now that scene has been ruined for me forever :eek:!

[Kath]

I love the bit in Fellowship (the film) where as they are leaving Rivendell Frodo has to ask Gandalf which way to turn, but it struck me as a little inappropriate and always makes me imagine them doing a conga line out!

[Bywaters]

At the beginning of FotR, when we see Gandalf approaching on his horse and cart the director should have chosen the theme music from Steptoe and Son to played over the top.

Gandalf played by Wilfred Bramble?

[The Only Real Estel]

Eomer played by Ruben Studdard? That would be some scary new devilry...

[Nimrodel_9]

Aragorn played by... Orlando Bloom! Nooooooo... :eek:

Nim :p

[The Elf-warrior]

Play Dixie in scenes with the Haradrim and play Into The West when the forces of Sauron march out of Minas Morgul and when the Uruk-Hai take Merry and Pippin to Isengard. As for casting:

Ozzy Osbourne: Grima
Dr. Phil: The herb-master of the Houses of Healing.
PJ: A Lorien Elf.
Michael Moore: Celeborn
Voice of Sauron: Tim McGraw
William Shatner: Aragorn
Christopher Lee: Gimli
Billy Boyd: Mouth of Sauron
Andy Serkis: Elrond

[eowyntje]

When Saruman rings up Sauron on the palantir, one of them should say "Can you hear me now...how about now...and now...?".
Or, as Saruman is making the call, a recorded voice should be heard asking him, "Would you like to donate some of your palantir minutes for the troops?"

There's a dutch perody on lord of the rings which goes kinda like that. Saruman rings sauron and the planatir says with a recorded voice: "Sauron, the dark Lord of mordor is not at home. Please leave a message after the beep. beeeeeeeeeeep"

I'd like to see Pippin take a gameboy with him on the quets and destrurb every serious moment with the bleeping of his gameboy.
Gandalf: "Drums, drums in the deep. <turns the page> We cannot get out. A Shadow moves in the dark. We cannot get out...They are coming."
Pippin: WEEEEEEEEEH! HIGHSCORE!

Also, when Saruman stands on his tower giving a speech to all the orc sin Isengaurd. He could say something silly like a highpitched 'I've got he power!' or 'can I hear a whoop whoo?'
damn, that's lame.

[Melkor]

harrison ford as gollum



those nasty little storm trooperses

[Nimrodel_9]

Billy Boyd as Elrond. :D

Geese honking as the Council of Elrond gathers. Why? I don't know, it just sounds fun. :p

[Morsul the Dark]

here's one...

If anyone here has seen A series of unfortunate events the theme for happiest little elf in the paths of the dead...aactually tats a funny thought the ghosts swaying to and fro in time with the music.. :D

[Kath]

Good music Morsul but I'd put it in every time Leggy tries to look "serious". Apologies to Leggy lovers!

[Vanwatholiel]

It would be hilarious to see Gwen Stephani, in performance uniform, thick toed shoes and all, playing Gandalf. When Aragorn,Gimli, Legolas, and Gwen ride up to Edoras, and Eowyn appears on the ledge, she could start singing "Rich Girl". And Leggy could be Eve :D

[Morsul the Dark]

here's a song famous in germany "ine insel mit zwei bergen" a nifty song for gandalf's decription of valinor.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Morsul, you inspired me...

When the Orcs attack Minas Tirith, the music would be "Showroom dummies" by Kraftwerk. I think that would be at least snigger worthy.

Also;

John Cleese as Frodo. Well Why not? Of course, he'd be a Basil Faulty character. Getting really worked up about little things.

Eddie Murphy as Gandalf. Do I really need to explain why that would be inappropriate?

[Gurthang]

How about having an arcade room at the Green Dragon?

How about having the hobbits eat out of super hero lunch boxes?

How about having Gandalf pull out a laptop and logging onto the BD while he's stuck on top of Orthanc?

OR

How about casting Sean Bean as Frodo and Elijah Wood as Boromir? :eek:

[Morsul the Dark]

this would be interwesting if timburton directed the trilogy...

Lets see the person who does piglet's voice was treebeard

if tim burton directed the movie johny depp would have to be the lovable baddie gollum

[Elu Ancalime]

Hmm.

Wolf Blitzer as Denethor

Frank Oz as Pippin

John Stewart as Mouth Of Sauron

Rosie o Donnel as Arwen

Harrison Ford as Aragorn...cool!

Hitler as Sauron

Hideki Tojo as Sauruman

Chuck Norris as Gimli

Mike Tyson as orcs

C-3PO as Boromir

Carmen Electra as Galadriel

Michael Jackson as Barrow Wight

Snoop Dogg as Tom Bombadil

Don Knotts as King of the Dead

Burt Reynolds as Elrond

-Instead of orcs(Ugluk and Griksnah)fighting and subsequently being ambushed by Rohirrim, it is George Lopez and Carlos Mencia drunk and doing standup while being jumped by the Rohan.

-When Sauruman's orcs are bred, play a sound of a new born crying.

-"The Crib of Snoop" speaks for itself

-Gandalf uses the Force on storm troopers to get to Theoden

-Sauron, Sauruman, and The Witch-King("Big Three"), and the remaining not-free peoples wage a war to make Middle-Earth safe for democracy by fighting Nazi Gondor, communist Rohan, and military Imperialist Lothlorien

-When The Witch-King and Eowyn face off, the Mortal Kombat theme crecendos and they drop weapons to fistfight

-The meeting between the Mouth and the Captains is reduced to a "C-Span" type civil meeting with podiums and such.

-Play the Gunshot-Horse Race rally song when the RIngWraiths take off from Minas Morgul.

-Have the evil army march up to Minas Tirith to the drumline cadence "Scottie's and Mickey's" That drumline of course would consist of trolls, goblins on cymbals, and uruks on quad tenors, and one Nazgul on a snare.

-When the Fellowship is fleeing from The Chamber of Marzubul, play Michael Jacksons "Beat It"

-Chuck Berry's "Go Johnny Go" for the scene when Legolas owns the Mumakil troop

-"Stairway to Heaven" at the Havens
________
VAPOR GENIE REVIEW (http://vaporizer.org/)

[deal_with_it]

From LOST tv show:

Sawyer would make a good Boromir

Charlie could be well.. he (Dominic) already got to be someone didn't he? but his character on Lost is closer to Pippin

Hurley = Sam Gamgee, maybe Butterbur
Jack = Aragorn (especially if he's got some athelas)
Kate = Arwen or Eowyn
Sayid = hmm maybe Gimli

[Farael]

Every time Legolas does a phisically impossible stunt, the Indiana Jones theme music should be playing!!!

When the easterlings mounted on Oliphaunts are marching in, they should all be singing "na... na... na... naranana.... nananana... Hey Jude..."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

I think it would be amusing to see (or rather, hear) Seth MacFarlane (aka that guy who does Family Guy) doing the voice of Gollum in the Peter Griffin voice.

OR

The Magic Roundabout theme to play whenever Sauron appears. :D

[deal_with_it]

Every time Legolas does a phisically impossible stunt, the Indiana Jones theme music should be playing!!!

When the easterlings mounted on Oliphaunts are marching in, they should all be singing "na... na... na... naranana.... nananana... Hey Jude..."

Those were Haradrim marching north up the Harad Road through Ithilien, not Easterlings.

[Farael]

Those were Haradrim marching north up the Harad Road through Ithilien, not Easterlings.
My mistake, but you get the point =) Edit: No, you didn't... I meant during the Siege of Minas Tirith.

How about, when the fellowship leaves Lothlorien in the elven boats, Aragorn starts singing "Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream.... " :D Promplty joined by Boromir and an off-screen voice that strangely resembles Gandalf's

[Legolas in spandex]

Character: Paris Hilton as Galadriel
Music: Right after Elrond says DOOM! at the council, there should be the music "It's the end of the world as we know it..."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Music: Right after Elrond says DOOM! at the council, there should be the music "It's the end of the world as we know it..."

A probably even more inapropriate music would be something like 'The Laughing Police man'.

:D

[Kath]

Perhaps when we first see the Uruk-hai being 'created' down in Saruman's mines we should hear:

"It's life Jim, but not as we know it!"

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Or we could go old, old, incredibly old-school.

Charlie Chaplin as Glorfindel
Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy as Legolas and Gimli
Harold Lloyd as Aragorn
Greta Garbo as Shelob
Fatty Arbuckle as Aragorn
Groucho Marx as Gandalf (naturally with Chico as Saruman and Harpo as Radagast)
The Three Stooges as Denethor, Boromir and Faramir
Sir Lawrence Olivier as Gollum.
Marlene Dietrich as Ioreth
Randolph Scott as Frodo

Or we could do Carry on Follow that Ring

Sid James as Aragorn
Joan Sims as Arwen
Barbara Windsor as Eowyn
Kenneth Connor as Gandalf
Kenneth Williams as Saruman
Hattie Jaques as Galadriel
Charles Hawtrey as Celeborn
Bernard Bresslaw as Frodo
Peter Butterworth as Merry
Terry Scott as Pippin
Phil Silvers as Denethor

Naturally the music would need to match the cast. The overall theme could be an instrumental of the theme music from Chitty-chitty Bang Bang played on a kazoo. For the first sight of the Shire, we could have Strauss' Also Sprach Zarathustra from 2001: a space odyssey; Lothlorien would be seen to the strains of the Imperial March from Star Wars, and the entry into Bree would be accompanied by The Dance of the Knights from Prokoviev's Romeo and Juliet. Gandalf would confront the Witch-king at Minas Tirith to the theme music from Roobarb and Aragorn's leitmotif would be a hornpipe played on a tin whistle. For the Mordor scenes, to lighten the mood, a quartet of trombones could play The Teddy-Bears' Picnic. Naturally the swelling chords of Singin' in the Rain would augment the atmosphere at the Field of Cormallen.

[The Saucepan Man]

Or we could do Carry on Follow that RingGreat minds ...

Worst possible casting choices (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?p=475223#post475223) - see post #17 et seq. :D

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

I should have known. Obviously I'd forgotten that thread, if I ever saw it, since I only plagiarise when I know I won't be caught. I didn't realise that I'd been cast, though. The casting of James, Sims and Windsor just jumps out, doesn't it?

[Rikae]

Elmer Fudd as Gollum/Smeagol
"Be vewwy, vewwy quiet...we're hunting wabbitsssesss!"

This is not mine, but I like it:
Replace the fell beasts with gigantic plush puppy dogs.

Richard Simmons as Aragorn

Fran Drescher as Arwen

Elijah Wood as Frodo. :eek: