Ways to die in middle earth

[Eönwë]

Well, I saw this on one website (www.nevrast.net (http://www.nevrast.net) in fact. I though maybe we could carry on. Just put in the next number (to the previous one), and add yours. Here are the ones it starts with:

1. Be eaten by a dragon
2. Be squashed by a dragon
3. Be roasted by a dragon
4. Be impaled by a dragon's claw
5. Be eaten by a tree
6. Look for firewood in Fangorn Forest
7. Fall off a cliff
8. Fall into mount doom
9. Protect Osgiliath
10. Be Denethor's son
11. Get lost in the dead marshes
12. Sneak up on the witchking
13. Scare Legolas
14. Steal weed from Sauramon
15. Be trampled by a horse
16. Be trampled by an oliphant
17. Be trampled by a warg
18. Be squeezed by an Ent
19. Be squashed by an Ent
20. Be trampled by a Dragon
21. Be clubbed by a troll
22. Be poisoned by goblins
23. Fall off your boat
24. Insult Galadriel
25. Be Haldir (in the movie)
26. Look like an orc
27. Act like an orc
28. Smell like an orc
29. Be an orc
30. Fall behind (Pirates of the Caribbean)
31. Shriek like a ringwraith
32. Carry the one ring
33. Play with shelob
34. Swim in the forbidden pool
35. Laugh at Sauron
36. Throw yourself off Sauraman's tower
37. Act stupid around Gandalf
38. Laugh at a wizard
39. Pick a troll's pocket
40. Fall on your sword
41. Fall on someone else's sword
42. Shoot yourself in the head
43. Mess up Legolas' hair
44. Insult Gimli with Legolas standing by
45. Dance like an idiot in Lothlorien
46. Breath loudly in Lothlorien
47. Curse elves in black speech and then laugh
48. Steal a hobbit's beer
49. Be the gate keeper at Bree
50. Cook yourself (like Denethor)
51. Throw yourself from the Top of the White city
52. Let Gandalf throw you from the Top of the White City
53. Torch the white tree for fun
54. Take a nap on a burning beacon
55. Look into the Palantia
56. Steal the king's crown
57. Take a stroll through Mirkwood
58. Take a bath in the dead Marshes
59. Bathe in the river of forgetfulness
60. Be eaten by spiders
61. Steal dwarf gold
62. Have your head chopped off
63. Drown at Isengard
64. Be licked by Grima Wormtongue
65. Kissed by a Dementor (he he…)
66. Get stabbed by Sam
67. Be speared by Aragorn
68. Get shot by Aragorn
69. Be ripped open by Aragorn's manly bare hands
70. Be trampled by Bill the pony
71. Be a battle horse from Rohan
72. Have your legs eaten by orcs in front of you
73. Be fresh in front of orcs
74. Be fresh with orcs
75. Tickle Smaug the dragon
76. Attempt to break into Sauron's Tower
77. Lock yourself in Moria
78. Try trick or treating in Mordor
79. Get crushed in an Avalanche
80. Have Sauraman twirl you around in the air
81. Insult Denethor's eating habits
82. Make rope out of back hair and try to rope two sea um… I mean dragons with it
83. Take a stroll through the path of the dead
84. Explore nasty dark caves
85. Smell good
86. Smell bad
87. Lose your sword
88. Run out of arrows
89. Eat your sword
90. Eat an arrow
91. Be a fool of a Took
92. Swallow your pipe weed
93. Take a nap on weathertop
94. Have your head chopped off and catapulted at your comrades
95. Stick the end of your staff up a troll's nose
96. Play football with armored trolls
97. Forget your helmet at the battle of Helm's deep
98. Eat a raw brace of conies
99. Trip and fall down some stony steps
100. Choke on Frodo's finger
101. Throw rocks at Sauron's eye
102. Have your smoke ring ship go back into your mouth and sail down your throat! (Brittany Thonas)
103. Hide Legolas's hair care products (Lisa)
104. Play hide and seek in Shelob's cave with Frodo (Lisa)
105. Call Gimli Ugly! (Epic)
106. Eat too much Lembas Bread (Epic)
107. Forget your mithril body armour in Moria. (JJ)
108. Have a staring contest with the Eye of Sauron. (Mikel)
109. Tell Elrond violet is *definitely* not his colour. (maeva)
110. Be an Elf or a Dwarf on Mount Caradras. (JJ)
110. Try to take over the Shire with Merry and Pippen within 1,000 leages of home. (JJ Bray)
111. Try to strangle ol' Samwise when Frodo has Sting nearby. (JJ Bray)
112. Playing a game of riddles with Gollum (unless you are a Hobbit, Elf, or Wizard). (GollumGirl)
113. Play with Gandalf's fireworks. (Mikel)
114. Play a game of Hide and Kill with Smaug the dragon. (JJ)
115. Bite Frodo's finger off. (Sienna)
116. Be the ork that carries the bomb in the battle of helm's deep. (av)
117. Tell the black riders to use blush, they're very pale. (av)
118. Wake Frodo up when he's sleeping.
119. Marry a ringwraith (nicole)
120. Be the child of a ringwraith (nicole)
121. Stand in the middle of the Bridge of Kazad-Dum and tell a Balrog he cannot pass. (Kate)
122. Insult sam's cooking. (Betz)
123. Eat their legs! They don't need those! I mean the Orcs' legs, of course. (JJ)
124. Don't eat (Chaz)
125. Try to sneak up on Aragorn dressed up as a Ringwraith! (Terra)
126. Be fresh with Arwen, infront of Aragorn. (Cherman)
127. Use the palantir as a bowling ball! (Terra)
128. "Borrow" some mushrooms from Farmer Maggot. (Elwyn Tynsdale)
129. Try to kill the Nazgul King. (JJ)
130. Try to take a nazgul's hood off. (Sub-Zero)
131. Be an Elf and marry Aragorn.
132. Have Pippin hug you. (Megan)
133. Steal Legolas's shampoo. (Megan)
134. Try and persuade a cave troll to play twister. (Alex)
135. Break eowyn's heart like Aragorn did. (frenchie)
136. Make a sandcastle out of Suramons gunpowder. (Psg188)
137. Tell a Balrog to chill. (Megan and Amber)
138. Insult Frodo when Sam is nearby. (Megan and Amber)
139. Be Theoden at the Battle of Pellenor Fields. (Megan and Amber)
140. Hide Legolas's Brush. (Megan and Amber)
141. Show up at Elrond's council when Frodo's invited, but you are not. (Megan and Amber)
142. Cut down one of Treebeard's friends. (Megan and Amber)
143. Rise an axe in Fangorn Forest. (Megan and Amber)
144. Try to steal Gandalf's hat. (Megan and Amber)
145. Meddle in the affairs of wizards. (Megan and Amber)
146. Trust Gollum to lead you safely. (Megan and Amber)
147. Mouth off to Smaug. (Megan and Amber)
148. Try to reclaim Moria. (Megan and Amber)
149. Insult Galadriel in front of Haldir. (Megan and Amber)
150. Insult Galadriel in front of Celeborn. (Megan and Amber)
151. Kiss Galadriel in front of Gimli. (Megan and Amber)
152. Insult Galadriel in front of Gimli. (Megan and Amber)
153. Give a valentine to shelob, or a cave troll, or the dark lord, or.....any creature thats not you. (Psg188)
154. Be meat back on the menu. (Frodofan)
155. Beat Legolas at a videp-game when he has his bow and arrow set nearby. (JJ)
156. Say "i can fly, I can fly, I can fly!" in front of a bunch of Uruk-Hai. (JJ)
157. Say "Think of a wonderful thought, any happy little thought" to Sauron. (JJ)
158. Be the Orc that kills Boromir. (JJ)
159. Destroy the One Ring. (JJ)
160. Be the Balrog. (JJ)
161. Blow the Horn of Gondor at Amon Hen. (JJ)
162. Yell at Sauron, "Hey You, over here!" while in Mordor (KK)
163. Tell Legolas his hair looks bad. (Jana)
164. Be Theodred. (Chrissy)
165. Have your horse fall on you. (Quilly)
166. Jump off the top of Orthanc when there's no eagle below to catch you. (Chrissy)
167. Say; "My Precious" to the One Ring when Gollum is behind you.
168. Steal Aragorn's ring. (Child of the King)
169. Borrowing a Palantir without permission. (Child of the King)
170. Telling Saruman he should bleach his hair. (Child of the King)
171. Ruining Legolas's Peacock bow by 'accidentally' dropping it in Mount Doom. (Child of the King)
172. Kill Legolas and get mobbed by many rabid fangirls. (Edainilwen)
173. Ask and elf how old she/he is. (Glolinde)
174. Tell Legolas that he is ugly. (Glolinde)
175. Fall off a cliff while tied to a warg. (unless you are Aragorn).
176. Go find Gollum in his cave and loose at the riddles game.
177. Steal the ring from Gollum with him finding out and seeing you while you don't have the ring on.
178. Eating maggoty bread for 3 stinking days.
179. Going into Lothlorien if you are an orc.
180. Stepping into the clean stream (the Nimrodel) at Lothlorien.
181. Insult Eomer by asking for his name in the Gap of Rohan and being taller then a dwarf.
182. Say Eomer looks funny with the hair comming off the top of his head from his helmet.
183. Insulting Eyowen or Arwen's dresses.
184. Make fun of Aragorn infront of Eowyn or Arwen.
185. Make fun of Legolas in front of every teenage elf.
186. Fall at the bridge of Khazad-dum while fighting the balrog.
187. Be around a ringwrath. (Nicole)
188. Look like a ringwrath. (Nicole)
189. Sound like a ringwrath. (Nicole)
190. Be a ringwrath. (Nicole)
191. Eat a ringwrath. (Nicole)
192. Be the ring. (Nicole)
193. Be Sauron. (Nicole)
194. Be Sauruman. (Nicole)
195. Be alive in Middle Earth. (Nicole)
196. Forget your keys to the gate of Helms deep when the Uruk-hai army is approaching. (Smaug)
197. Eat the wrong mushrooms in Farmer Maggot's backyard and, upon seeing a ring wraith, hallucinate that it is a cup of tea and try to drink it. (Jules)
198. Tell Denethor to eat properly. (Jenn_aka_Arwen)
199. Ask Arwen out in front of Aragorn. (Jenn_aka_Arwen)
200. Listen in on Gollum's secrets and have him find out. (Jenn_aka_Arwen)
201. Try to kill Legolas with Aragorn watching. (Jenn_aka_Arwen)
202. Keep Eowyn from going to battle. (Jenn_aka_Arwen)
203. Throw the dwarf!!! (Ketabi)
204. Win a game against Elrond. (Me)
205. Tell Saruman he has a zit. (Jenn_aka_Arwen)
206. Ask Denethor to shave. (Jenn_aka_Arwen)
207. Buy Sauron a contact lens. (Jenn_aka_Arwen)
208. Tell Saruman he smells like an orc. (Jenn_aka_Arwen)
209. Ask Eowyn out when Eomer is nearby. (Jenn_aka_Arwen)
210. Kiss Aragorn when Arwen's beside him. (Jenn_aka_Arwen)
211. Kiss Arwen when Aragorn's beside her. (Jenn_aka_Arwen)
212. Sneak up behind Arwen and push her off the bridge. (Jenn_aka_Arwen)
213. Try to kill Aragorn. (Jenn_aka_Arwen)
214. Throw Gimli's axe into Mount Doom. (Jenn_aka_Arwen)
215. Insult a dwarf. (Jenn_aka_Arwen)
216. Help Saruman. (Jenn_aka_Arwen)
217. Be Grima's throw rug. (Jenn_aka_Arwen)
218. Tell Sauron he needs some mascara. (Megan)
219. Fall off the bridge of Khaza-dum while running. (Gabby)
220. Ask whether Gimli is really male.
221. Play tag with a Ringwraith on Weathertop. (Alessandra)
222. Die of old age. (Sarah)
223. Try to hose down the Eye of Sauron. (Sarah)
224. Fry fish infront of Gollum. (Sarah)
225. Do a happy dance in the Cracks of Doom. (Sarah)
226. Have the one ring when Faramir has a host of men at his call. (Sarah)
227. Be a cocky Nazgul and boast to Eowyn that you can't be killed by a man. (Sarah)
228. Curse Morgoth infront of Sauron. (Sarah)
229. Be infront of Sauron's mace at the Battle of the Last Alliance. (Sarah)
230. Forget Andruil when going to summon the dead men of Dunharrow. (Sarah)
231. Jump on Saruman's back and cut him through when there are Halfling archers standing by. (Sarah)
232. Try leg wrestling with Shelob. (Sarah)
233. Be an orc in Cirith Ungol standing between Sam and Frodo. (Storyteller)
234. Yell "GROND!" while standing next to Gandalf. (Firiel)
235. Hide in Grond's mouth during a game of hide-and-seek. (Firiel)
236. Set up an amusement park and advertise free rides on Grond. (Firiel)
237. Be mortal. (Firiel)
238. Attempt to flip onto a horse if your not an Elf. (Firiel)
239. Lick a poisened orc blade. (Firiel)
240. Be Deagol. (Sarah)
241. Drink yourself to death at the Green Dragon. (Sarah)
242. Try to shoot Gandalf when he is all shiny and you can't tell whether it's him or Saruman. (JJ)
243. Be the fell beast Eowyn kills. (Edhela Greenleaf)
244. Fall of the boat on the way into the West. (Edhela Greenleaf)
245. Tell Gimli he should brush his beard. (Edhela Greenleaf)
246. Be turned into something "unnatural" by Gandalf( if unnatural is dead). (Edhela Greenleaf)
247. Taste orc blood. (Sarah)
248. Curse Orli I mean Legolas infront of a screaming mob of girls. (Sarah)
249. Accidently swallow the one ring. (Sarah)
250. Ask for directions from an orc. (Sarah)
251. Offer a Nazgul the one ring while he is standing right there and then change your mind. (Sarah)
252. Fall off the Black Gate. (Sarah)
253. Jump off the Argonoth. (Sarah)
254. Loose the Phial of Galadriel while climbing the endless stair. (Sarah)
255. Call Sam a stupid fat hobbit. (Sarah)
256. Under estimate Gandalf and challenge him to a duel on the Bridge of Khazad Dum. (Sarah)
257. Drink too many pints at the Prancing Pony. (Sarah)
258. Laugh at a Ring Wraith and don't run away. (Sarah)
259. Make a cocky comment to Sauron and "then" be paralized with fear. (Sarah)
260. Catch a dwarf by his beard. (Sarah)
261. Stand infront of a rampaging Oliphant. (Sarah)
262. Make fun of Aragorn's singing at the crowning ceremony. (Sarah)
263. Try to throw a paper airplane at Sauron's eye or Saruman or an orc or Grond or Aragorn or Legolas or a cave troll or Shelob or Gimli or Treebeard or a Ring Wraith or anything in Middle Earth that hasn't seen an anger management therapist. (Sarah and Meggi Dizzle)
264. Ask the Riders of Rohan if they are having fun with their pony club. (Laurence)
265. Try to do a handstand on top of the tower of Orthac. (Catie)
260. Run back and forth in front of orcs screaming "I'm INVINCIBLE!!!". (Reasonably Crazy)
261. Get in between Arwen and Eowyn. (Reasonably Crazy)
262. Tell Frodo he lost a finger "Just like Sauron!". (Reasonably Crazy)
263. Insult Sam. (Reasonably Crazy)
264. Insult Sam's cooking. (Reasonably Crazy)
265. Insult Rosie. (Reasonably Crazy)
266. Insult Sam's children (if you do all of those four, you are very, very dead). (Reasonably Crazy)
267. Attack the Ringwraiths with a squirtgun. (what? They don't like water, and it worked with a river...). (Reasonably Crazy)
268. Go up to Legolas and say "Llie n'vanima ar' lle atara lanneina" (You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny). (Reasonably Crazy)
269. Try to jump onto a moving horse and not be Legolas. (Sarah)
270. Be an Easterling and have your eyeliner run into your eye and blind you during the Battle of the Pelennor Fields. (Sarah)
271. Not be a good jumper on the stairs of Moria. (Sarah)
272. Wressle Frodo on the edge of a cliff and loose. (Sarah)
273. Infuriate the Mouth of Sauron. (Sarah)
274. Eat chicken infront of Gwaihir, Lord of the Eagles. (Sarah)
275. Be allergic to athelas while suffering from the black breath so Aragorn can't heal you. (Sarah)
276. Beat Legolas and Gimli at the killing contest. (Sarah)
277. Burn wood infront of a Huorn. (Sarah)
278. Lie to Gandalf. (Sarah)
279. Sneeze while hiding from a Ringwraith. (Sarah)
280. Change your mind about destroying the One Ring when you're at Mount Doom, turn around, see Gollum standing there, go through a hugish battle with him, get your finger bitten off, still fight, and go hurtling down into the Cracks of Doom. (JJ)
281. Tell Treebeard that you are little orcs. (Anna)
282. Protect two hobbits from being captured by orcs, and get shot by lots of arrows before you fall to the ground. (Anna)
283. Suggest contacts for the eye of Sauron. (Saltana of Moldovia)
284. Make 'eyes' at the eye of Sauron. (Saltana of Moldovia)
285. Be human. (Saltana of Moldovia)
286. Insult Glofindels hair. (Saltana of Moldovia)
287. Just plainly live in Middle Earth. (Cassy)
288. Tell Eowyn that no man can kill you. (Cash)
289. Take over Theoden's mind and have Gandalf release it and then stand still while Theoden gets mad at you and raises his sword..... (Matt)
290. Get a buzz cut (all the guys in LOTR have reasonably long hair). (Falleen9)
291. Threaten Frodo when Sam is sneaking up behind you. (shire-rose)
292. Put Ketchup on your lembas bread. (E-star)
293. Insult Aragorn's manly stubble. (Ar-Feiniel)
294. Eat a mushroom infront of Pippin. (Omrie Brandywine)
295. Make fun of Grima Wormtongue's eating habit. (Shire-rose)
296. Cut off a Dwarfs beard. (hobbit girl)
297. Be Saruman and realize you locked yourself out of Orthanc when the Ents are attacking. (Meg)

[Eönwë]

Oh I see that someone has done this alreadyob a different forum (http://http://www.thefantasyforum.com/showthread.php?t=12087).
Here are their suggestions. Just carry on after these instead:

298. Be married to Legolas. (Billy)
299. Be Ar-Feiniel and throw yourself between your son and your husband's spear. (Ar-Feiniel)
300. Tell blonde jokes in Lothlorien. (Ar-Feiniel)
301. Try to be like aragorn and get pulled off a cliff by a warg. (Ar-Feiniel)
302. Insult Galadriel lembas. (Ar-Feiniel)
303. Put a dwarf on a Vegetarian diet. (Ar-Feiniel)
304. Volenteer for Helm's Deep. (Ar-Feiniel)
305. Fall in love with a mortal and give him a shiny necklace. Ar-Feiniel)
306. Talk about future plot ideas. (Ar-Feiniel)
307. Be Fingon when fighting a big balrog. (Sil-Gathian)
308. Be Fingolfin when Morgoth's got Grond. (Sil-Gathian)
309. Try to beat Pippin in a drinking contest. (dark link)
310. Try to sneak up on Sam dressed as a giant spider. (dark link)
311. Invite an orc to supper. (Kilo and Omrie)
312. Steal one of Pippen's mushrooms with Merry close by. (Kilo and Omrie)
313. Play pattie-cake with an orc. (Kilo and Omrie)
314. Dance infront of a ring-wraith with a gold ring in your hand singing "I've got the riiiing!I've got the riiiiiiiiing!". (Kilo and Omrie)
315. Acuse Sam of stealing the lembas. (Sanura)
316. Insult Legolas in front of any female in the world. (Sanura)
317. Be an Easterling and steal Jack Sparrow's eyeliner. (dark link)
318. Tell Feanor the silmarils are just costume jewelry. (Elvenmaid)
319. Call Galadriel a dumb blonde in front of Gimli. (Elvenmaid)
320. Try wrestling with an invisible opponent in the Cracks of Doom and loose. (Sarah)
321. Be the creepy Haradrim guy who growls all the time. (Sarah)
322. Be near Aragorn when he wakes up from a bad dream. (Sarah)
323. Trip and fall off one of the white ships half way back to Arda. (Sarah)
324. Get trampled by Shadowfax. (Sarah)
325. Tell Legolas he has orc blood in his hair, then don't run away. (Elvenmaid)
326. Sail with Ar-Pharazon to Valinor. (Sarin)
327. Insult Theoden infront of Eowyn or Eomer. (Sarin)
328. Insult Aragorn in front of any one. (Sarin)
329. Steal Pippin's pint. (Spaz Gal)
330. Beat Legolas in an archery contest. You'll get hurt, and he'll get a bull's eye. (JJ)
331. Kill Aragorn and get mauled by hordes of screaming girl-fans. (Sarin)
332. Kiss an orc. (Candy)
333. Say "Dolle naa lost" (your head is empty), to Aragorn. (Candy)
334. Marry Pippin then tell him you hate mushrooms. (Spas Gurl)
335. Eat PO-TA-TOES in front of Sam. (Spaz Gal)
336. Get up early and steal all the mushrooms from Farmer Maggot's field before Pippin gets there. (Spaz Gal)
337. Jump in Front of the Riders of Rohan and say BOO, I GOTCHA HAHAHAHAHA you can't get me!. (Lexie Herrick)
338. Say that "Mushroom soups, pies, scones,... actually all mushrooms suck!" while Pippin is listening. (Spaz Gal)
339. Open a pizza parlor in Mordor. (Googdwill Guys)
340. Tap dance in front of the Gates of Mordor. (Googdwill Guys)
341. Try to put out Sauron's eye. (Googdwill Guys)
342. Tell Sauron he over-plucked his eye. (Googdwill Guys)
343. Sell popcorn at the battle of Helm's Deep. (Googdwill Guys)
344. Deliver a late night pizza to orcs. (Googdwill Guys)
345. Walk when Gandalf says "Run." (Googdwill Guys)
346. Take a holiday in Mordor. (Tom)
347. Be a troll while Gandalf is around. (Poopsmith)
348. Try to cremate your own son in minas tirith. (Poopsmith)
349. Get sick and die. (Spaz Gal)
320. Smoke a pipe infront of Merry and Pippin and not give them any. (Cara)
351. Drop an open bottle of "Clear Eyes" onto the eye of Sauron. (Tari Calafas)
352. Wash Saruman's robe in hot water with Pippin's vest. (Tari Calafas)
353. Go sailing if you´re a hobbit. (Corinna)
354. Try and get a piggy back ride on a troll. (Guess Who)
355. Jump in front of camera A. (Gregory the Clueless)
356. Starve to death half-stuck in Old Man Willow. (Ireth Gilnauriel)
357. Try feeding the Nazgul's horses. (Ireth Gilnauriel)
358. Kiss Galadriel with Gimli standing by. (Aragorn Rulez)
359. Find a beer more brown than the one that Merry and Pippen drink in their hometown. (Tari Calafas)
360. Eat all of the Veggies in Farmer Maggot's garden. (Elen)
361. Don't be Frodo's Sam after stopping him from giving the ring to a Nazgul riding a fell beast. (Tari Calafas)
362. Only ever serve King Theoden while secretly working for Sarumon, waiting until Gandalf the White shows up and exposes you after knocking Sarumon out of Theoden's head, Get thrown down a set of stone steps after Theoden's fingers remember their old stregnth by grasping his sword and not have Aragorn there to say that too much blood has been spilled on your account. (Tari Calafas)
363. Haunt Eowyn's steps with Eomer around. (Tari Calafas)
364. Don't take the wizard's staff. (Tari Calafas)
365. Stand in between a Hobbit and musrooms. (Anne)
366. Tell Saruman to clip his nails. (Anonymous)
367. Smoke too much. (Elijahfan)
368. Look tasty around Orcs that haven't eaten anything in three stinkin days. (QueenOfGondor)
369. Be Denethor and get pounded by Gandalf's staff. (Vaneala Malcariel)
370. Insult Sauron. (Zach)
371. Go to the lair of the elves and scream... "ALL HAIL SAURON !!!!" (klalle)
372. Fall off a cliff while fighting warg rider on a warg. (Eruanna)
373. Start making out with Farimir at the precise time that Eowyn's walking into the room. (arwen14)
374. Put the ring on and pull it away when a ringwraith trys to grab it, then get stuck with it's sword. (Rogue Oliphant)
375. Stick an oliphant with an arrow and then hang onto its leg if you not Legolas. (Rogue Oliphant)
376. Kiss Arwen infront of Elrond. (lotrfan)
377. Tell Gimli that Galadriel is NOT the fairest lady ever to walk Middle Earth. (Anonymous)
378. Describe to Legolas how to use a bow. (lotrfan)
379. Ask Frodo for the ring. (zozocat)
380. Use a chainsaw on Gandalf's staff. (Anonymous)
381. Tell Gimli that the worst stone work in the white city is far better than the best stone work a dwarf could do. (Anonymous)
382. Kill either Sam, Merry, Pippin or Frodo while one of the other three are around. (Samantha)
383. Cut Gimli's beard. (Anonymous)
384. Tell Saruman he is fat. (Gandalf)
385. Tell Boromir that he will die. (Aragorn)
386. Tell Gollum that he can not have the ring. (Frodo)
387. Follow the lights in the dead marshes. (Anonymous)
388. Tell Sauron he has long eyelashes. (Anonymous)
389. Perform CPR on a Nazgul. (Ereinion)
390. Look up into the sky as Gondorian catapults throw rubble at you. (Ereinion)
391. Take Smaug's favorite cup. (Ereinion)
392. Invite Gil-Galad and Elendil over to your tower to party. (Ereinion)
393. Stick your hands in glue, then pick up the Palantir of Orcthanc. (Ereinion)
394. Possess one of the seven Dwarven rings. (Ereinion)
395. Wave a shaving razor in front of a dwarf. (Ereinion)
396. Take a dump in the Forbidden Pool. (Ereinion)
397. Start singing when captured by a Barrow-Wight. (Ereinion)
398. Set up an ice cone stand on Caradhas. (Ereinion)
399. Treading barefoot through miles of snow, volanic rock, mountains, and forests. (Ereinion)
400. Accuse Boromir of cowardice. (Silmarien)
401. Tell Denethor that you killed Boromir. (Silmarien)
402. Tell Boromir that Minas Tirith sucks. (Silmarien)
403. Tell Aragorn that the line of Isildur has no right to rule Gondor. (Silmarien)
404. Mistake an Ent for a tree when searching for firewood. (Silmarien)
405. Tell Legolas he needs glasses. (Silmarien)
406. Be a Numenorean and try to set foot on Eldamar. (Silmarien)
407. Be Elendil's son. (Silmarien)
408. Kill, hurt, attempt to kill or to hurt, or threaten to kill or to hurt anyone who is capable of killing you. (Silmarien)
409. Be something small, cute and cuddly, dashingly handsome and manly, old and wise, or ugly and evil. Basically, whatever you are, you end up dead. (Claire)
410. Run up to Smaug the dragon and yell really loud "BOO!!". (Shutup&lisn)
411. Shoot a arrow at Sauron's eye. (???)
412. Wave hair clippers in front of an elf. (Nichole)
413. Tell a Ringwraith that you have the Ring. (Rachel)
414. Drown in the Flooding of Isengard. (Princess Havaerja)
415. Slap an orc in the face. (Eric)
416. Pet Legolas's hair. (Ale)
417. Get a cheap plastic ring from a vending machine and tell everyone it's the One Ring. (Allison)
418. Ask Sauron to submit an entry in the 101 ways to die in Middle-earth. (Jessica)
419. Tell Aragorn the he sings poorly. (Sarin)
420. Make fun of Figwit, or any male elf in front of a fangirl. (Shannon(Potato!))
421. Call Arwen fat infront of Aragorn. (Sarah)
422. Rip apart a teddy bear infront of Beorn. (Sarah)
423. Do a canon ball into Sauron's moat of lava. (Sarah)
424. Stand at the top of the tower of cirith ungol and feel that you have no more will to live. (Sarah)
425. Tease Gimli about being short. (Sarah)
426. Tell Sauron that the emperor in Star Wars was a better necromancer than him. (Sarah)
427. Tell Sauron that you've seen 25cent rings that looked better than his. (Sarah)
428. Tell Aragorn, Arwen loves Legolas. (Aragorn Rulez)
429. Go up to Boromir dressed as an orc, take his horn, blow it in his ear, then run away laughing and have him catch you. (Angela)
430. Brush a fellbeast's teeth. (Lolo)
431. Get a Warg for your next pet. (theringbearer04)
432. Cut off the hair of an Elf sitting in front of you. (Elven-Friend and OrcKiller)
433. Worshiping Morgoth in front of Elves. (The One)
434. Go swimming in the Anduin and go over the falls of Rauros. (Delalyra)
435. Be an orc in the battle of the Last Alliance. (Delalyra)
436. Hide Gimli's axe just before a big battle. (Anonymous)
437. Tell Aragorn Arwen betrayed him with Legolas. (Aragorn Rulez)
438. Make your own One ring, then try to sneak into Mordor. (theringbearer04)
439. Talk to Gandalf crossley. (Mithrandir)
440. Look at Gandalf crossly. (Mithrandir)
441. Do any sort of tom foolery in front or near Gandalf. (Mithrandir)
442. Play tag with Urk-hai. (Legolas'kitten)
443. Tell Elrond to shave his eyebrows. (LuthienAltarai)
444. Tell Aragorn he needs a shower. (ladyeoloth)
445. Remind aragorn he's still not king yet. (Flamingfish)
446. Say Gil-galad was a boring git in front of Elrond. (Cyclone996)
447. Steal Gandalf's bleach mid-way through him turning white. (Sil-Gathian)
448. tell aragorn you're his son/daughter in front of Arwen. (Aragorn Rulez)
449. Go to the Black Gate of Mordor and whan they opened you say, "Trick or treat!!." (Aragorn Rulez)
450. Stand under a falling rock. (Aragorn Rulez)
451. Throw up on Gimli's axe. (Aragorn Rulez)
452. Sleep in a cave for shelter while caught in a rainstorm in the misty mountains. (Lieyka)
453. Die by the intense heat given off form the hot guys and girls of Middle Earth. (Eldride)
454. Be Theoden. (Elwyna)
455. Have a crush on Eowyn (Eomer will kill ya). (Elfhild)
456. Use pompons instead of a sword at Helm's Deep. (Flamingfish)
457. Be the messenger and tell Aragorn Arwen is pregnant with Frodo's baby. (Emma)
458. Insult Gandalf about his staff. (Kisara_Amane)
459. Fall on Saruman's nails. (Emma)
460. Trip on Saruman's Nails. (Emma)
461. Do anything in front of Gandalf that he doesn't approve of (cuz he will kill you if he gets the chance). (Nick)
462. Lauch yourself from a catapult. (Anonymous)
463. Have a heart attack. (Gregory the Clueless)
464. Play hide and seek with Sauron. (Flamingfish)
465. Tell Legolas how Aragorn tossed Gimili in the battle at Helm's Deep. (Josette)
466. Let your mobile go off in the Council of Elrond and have it to the tune of Harry Potter. (Emma)
467. Give Sauron the 'evil eye'. (i_<3_Legolas)
468. Don't ask for directions in the Mines of Moria. (Connie Milsaps)
469. Don't roll down the side of Mount Doom into the army of orks. (don't-diss-the-king)
470. Wash in Galadriel's birdbath of doom. (lirenel)
471. Toss a dwarf. (Danielle)
472. Be Smeagol's friend. (Danielle)
473. Touch the Ring when Frodo is around. (Danielle)
474. Eat 10 cakes of lembas bread. (Danielle)
475. Tell Aragorn you love him. (Danielle)
476. Be an orc in Rohan. (Danielle)
477. Hit on Eowyn with Eomer around. (Danielle)
478. Slap Grima and call him a cur. (Danielle)
479. Kill Saruman. (Danielle)
480. Get shot by Legolas while he is actually shooting at a orc, but gimli thinks you are going to get shot by legolas, then he knocks legolases arm making him shoot you. (Luthien Luinwe)
481. Keep Gollum as a pet, use Elvish rope as a leash and feed it Lembas bread everyday. (Amy(The Quiet One))
482. Fall to your death from the side of a mountain because "someone" didn't tie the rope properly. (*cough*Sam*cough*). (Amy (The Quiet One))
483. Choke on a raw rabbit. (Amy (The Quiet One))
484. Use Galadriel's mirror as a bath tub. (Mystic Healer)
485. Remove an elf's braids without them knowing. (Mystic Healer)
486. Use Gandalf's staff as fire wood. (Mystic Healer)
487. Decorate Barad-Dur with fairy lights at Christmas time. (Mystic Healer)
488. Be Gollum anywhere near Samwise Gamgee. (Megan)
489. Play hide and seek with the eye of sauron (you hide, it seeks) and win, then die because it's angry that you could hide from it. (Amy (The Quiet One))
490. Smack Shelob with a newspaper. (Catharin)
491. Steal Arwen's jewelry. (Catharin)
492. When meeting Galadriel, repeat the word "Doom" over and over in your head. (Catharin)
493. Ask Glorfindel why he's glowing. (Catharin)
494. Ask Arwen why she's riding Glorfindel's horse. (Catharin)
495. Write a parody about Gil-Galad. (Catharin)
496. Be a mortal in middle earth and spend you whole life thinking of funny ways to die. (Amy (The Quiet One))
497. Give the Ring to Sauron. (Catharin)
498. Host your birthday party in the Shire without giving out gifts. (Amy (The Quiet One))
499. Sharpen your axe on the borders of Fangorn. (Catharin)
500. Eat the wrong kind of mushrooms. (Catharin)
501. Attempt to seduce ______. (Catharin)
502. Attempt to put jesses and a hood on Gwaihir. (Catharin)
503. Insult Shadowfax's sire. (Catharin)
504. Sing Evanescence songs. (Catharin)
505. Ask Aragorn "Who's your daddy?!". (Catharin)
506. Kill yourself when you realize all the good men are taken. (Catharin)
507. Tell Lord Elrond the room service sucks. (Catharin)
508. Take a wrong turn on the Barrow Downs. (Catharin)
509. Fall off a balcony in Rivendell. (Catharin)
510. Taunt Sauron: "You can't even catch one little hobbit! I can hear Morgoth laughing all the way from the Void!" (Catharin)
511. Start a sing-a-long in Mordor. (Catharin)
512. Call Smaug an overgrown gecko. (Catharin)
513. Climb a tree and throw rocks at the Fellowship. (Catharin)
514. Protest the War of the Ring. (Catharin)
515. Ask Galadriel why she didn't take the Ring. (Catharin)
516. Just die of old age. (Adam)
517. Food poisoning. (Catharin)
518. Be Grima after killing Saruman. (Megan)
519. Ask Haldir to "speak words we can all understand!". (Megan)
520. Ignore Gollum when you hear him agueing with himself about whether or not to kill you. (Megan)
521. Try to retake Osgiliath after it's been over run by orcs. (Megan)
522. Listen to Gollum when he tells you he knows of a secret way into Mordor. (Megan)
523. Try to take the paths of the dead when Aragorn isn't there to watch your back. (Megan)
524. Advise Aragorn to wash his hair. (white lady of rohan)
525. Play with Legolas' hair. (white lady of rohan)
526. Steal Shadowfax. (fool of a took)
527. Stand between a hobbit and beer. (fool of a took)
528. Burn like Denethor and Faramir. (fool of a took)
529. Compare Legolas' hair with Brittany Spears' in front of a giant mob of fangirls. (Tazz)
530. Tell Elrond his purple dress makes him look like an eggplant. (Rohirrimshieldmadien)
531. Give the Mouth of Sauron some Listerine & say "Yo brother you're breath stinks!". (LVEvenstar)
532. Kiss Aragorn (and he likes it) in front of Arwen. (Aragorn Rulez)
533. Say "Mmmm, Bregosteak with potatos!" in front of Aragorn. (Aragorn Rulez)
534. Be Faramir at Denethor's bbq when Pippin isn't around. (StillNotKingYet)
535. Point and laugh at the Citadel guards with the wingy-things on their helmets. Call them bird-brains and you probobly won't live to see lunch. (Tazz)
536. Beat a dwarf in a game of chance. (Drogo Baggins)
537. Go skinny dipping in mt doom. (LuthienAltarai)
538. Fight a balrog. (LuthienAltarai)
539. Video Elrond trying on Arwen's dresses and show it at the council. (LuthienAltarai)
540. Wear contact lenses that look like the eye of Sauron. (LuthienAltarai)
541. Play 'Bogies' at the council of elrond. (LuthienAltarai)
542. Streak in the council of Elrond. (LuthienAltarai)
543. Roast rabbit in front of Gollum. (Lalala)
544. Chop down the Party Tree when Frodo is around. (Sharku)
545. Trip up on the way to Shelob's lair, land on the back of a flying Nazgul, and subsequently get dissected by orcs for fun. (Merisata)
546. Ask Sauron if you're the 'apple' of his eye. (Merisata)
547. Don't listen to Smeagol when he tells you to give him the Ring. (Radagast the Brown)
548. Tell Eowyn she fights like girl. (Uinen)
549. Call Treebeard an overgrown houseplant. (Uinen)
550. Make sushi out of Gollum's fish. (Kisara_Amane)
551. Fall off the bridge of Khazad-Dum if you are not Gandalf. (Throgmorten)
552. Go bungee-jumping at the Cracks of Doom. (Throgmorten)
553. Put on the one ring and go in front of Legolas when he is going to shoot an arrow straight horazontally to kill an orc. (Cuthien or Luthien of Dorthonion)
554. Replace the ring with it's stunt double to be thrown into Orudruin. (Throgmorten)
555. Be "One of them" (battle of helms deep). (BuriedNox)
556. Try to beat Pippin at a drinking contest. (Anonymous)
557. Volunteer to play tug-of-war with one of Saruman's pet wargs. (Gethsemane)
558. Give Legolas a perm while he's asleep. (Nioniel-Nieriel)
559. Raise your hand during Theoden's 'Red Day' speech and say "Um, this is Eowyn by me." (She'll be sure to get revenge.). (Nioniel-Nieriel)
560. Borrow Anduril without asking. (Nioniel-Nieriel)
561. Try to save the ring when it falls into mount doom. (Anonymous)
562. Suggest that they play duck duck goose at The Council of Elrond to decide who takes the ring. (GandalftheFat)
563. Call Gimli "M'am". (Katie_the_elf)
564. Be Frodo when he jumps onto the boat at brandywine crossing then misses the landing and drowns. (Daniel)
565. Take flowers off of the trees of Fangorn, and put them in Legolas' hair. (teh-Nikith)
566. Ask Sauron to hold on to the ring for you. (Padan Fain)
567. Ask Shadowfax if he is a pretty pony. (Mithrandir)
568. Play musical chair with a troll( he might smush you). (Hoot)
569. Ask Gimli what is in his beard. (Mithrandir)
570. Stand behind an orc an somehow manage to smell him. (Mithrandir)
571. Break Gimli's Axe. (Deathlord)
572. Spit in Sauron's eye. (Deathlord)
573. Shave Gimli's beard clean. (Deathlord)
574. Tell a Leglolas or any other wood elf that they need a hearing aid. (Mel)
575. Shake hands with an orc. (Anonymous)
576. Skip through Mordor singing 'Kumbaya' while passing out flower wreaths. (Elidora)
577. shave Galadriel's head infront of Gimli. (Anonymous)

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

Thats a lot of ways to die, with some of them being incredibly stupid! And why oh why do people spell Pippin wrong?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

[The Might]

I'd add trying to steal anything from Lobelia.

[Eönwë]

why oh why do people spell Pippin wrong?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
exactly.

In fact, I'll add that to my ways to die in middle earth (If I live there!)

[Eönwë]

So (including all the suggestions on this thread makes:

578. Spell Pippin wrong (if any "barrow-downer", especially me, lives in middle earth)
579. Steal from Lobelia
580. Toss Gimli and tell Legolas later
581. Toss Gimli while Legolas is watching
582. Watch this (http://www.mashedtaters.net/) while Sam is sneaking up behind you with sting (the video)

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

Do anything to make Smaug angry!(I have no idea if that is on the list)
Insult Gaffer Gamgee or Frodo Baggins when our dear Sam is around!

[Eönwë]

Oh you have no idea, I could kill someone real easily... people don't get it, even some Barrow-Downers themselves spell LotR character names wrong and places It makes me not so happy(even though I have probably done it on occasion;))

yeah, me too. Especially with all the accents and stuff. But I do try

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

yeah, me too. Especially with all the accents and stuff. But I do try
Me too. But Pippin is the most missspelled one and Gollum too!

[Laurinquë]

583. Buy eyeshadow for Sauron.
584. Steal Legolas's wig

[Eönwë]

583. Buy eyeshadow for Sauron.
584. Steal Legolas's wig

Legolas has a wig?
And there was me, thinking he had extensions.

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

It wouldn't be Legolas's wig, it would be Orli's wig!;) (Legolas is too awesome for that)

[mormegil]

http://forum.barrowdowns.com/images/chatskwerl.jpg

Some posts have been deleted due to the chattiness. Please keep on topic.

[MaultheStoor]

Let's go with an old classic, shall we? Just throw your most beloved item into Mount Doom. You will probably have a stupid moment and jump...er...FALL in after.

[Morgoth's Apprentice]

585. Climb up to the top of Barad-dur, wave the Ring in front of Sauron, then get in a chopper and drop the Ring into Mount Doom.
586. Free Morgoth from the Void.
587. Tell Sauron that he's NOT the King of the World, you are.
588. Tell Morgoth to bow "before me, lowly DOG!"
589. Run around in Valimar screaming "ALL HAIL MORGOTH" at the top of your lungs.
590. Drop a bomb on Taniquetil.
591. Walk up to Manwe and say "unfortunately, Eru has decided that YOU are unfit to rule the world. I am taking your place effective immediately."
592. Walk up to Morgoth and say "You ARE the weakest link"
593. Bang on the Black Gate of Mordor and then hand yourself over to the guards.
594. Walk up to Minas Morgul and ask a ringwraith for directions to Mount Doom because you have the Ring and you want to destroy it.
595. Step in front of Morgoth when he's swinging Grond around.
596. Put on the Ring in Rivendell and try to kill Elrond.
597. Scream in Black Speech in the middle of Lothlorien.
598. Try to hit the Eye of Sauron with a baseball bat.
599. Drop borate on the Eye of Sauron. (the pink stuff they use to put out wildfires)
600. Walk into Angband proclaiming allegiance to Manwe
601. Walk into the Outer Circles proclaiming that mOrgoth is a better King the Eru could ever be
602. Tell the Elves that Eru is a fake and that it was Morgoth who created the world

....More to come..im tired right now

[Volo]

586. Eat a sandwich.

[Eönwë]

586. Eat a sandwich.

What?

[Morgoth's Apprentice]

Why would you die from eating a sandwich?

587. Run in front of a Warg pack.
587. Proclaim that Morgoth is in fact the supreme lord of all and that Manwe's the one who's been making all the trouble
588. During the Council of Elrond, while they are arguing about what to do with it,
jump up on your seat, yell out "OPERATION OVERLORD" at the top of your lungs, and try to take off with the Ring.
589. Take the Ring from Frodo and toss it in the river
590. Try to convince an Elf to forgo lembas and drink Red Bull instead
591. Give Gollum Red Bull
592. Give Shelob Red Bull
593. Give the Balrog a Red Bull (it gives it wings!!)


more later...

[Lush]

594. Pass out in Denethor's field of vision.

(That one is a scary one if you're in college)

Although my favourite is definitely this:
300. Tell blonde jokes in Lothlorien.

In that vein, here's another one,

595. Tell blonde jokes in front of Gimli.

*dum dum dum*

[Nerwen]

594Tell blonde jokes in front of Gimli.

*dum dum dum*

This would be post-Galadriel Gimli, right?:D

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

Yell "You shall not Pass" in front of a mob of Urik-Hai.

[Eönwë]

Yell "You shall not Pass" in front of a mob of Urik-Hai.

597. Call the Uruk-hai Urik-Hai in front of Saruman (or even Sauron).

[Eönwë]

598. Say "I'm the Doctor" when you're questioned by Saruman
599. Jump into a blue box (which isn't the TARDIS) when you're being chased by an army of orcs.
600. Die, and then forgget you can't regenerate
601. When the Uruk-hai surround you and your friend, say "They're not monsters, they're just innocent aliens".
602. Have two hearts (you just get stabbed twice!)
603. Drive your Blue Box into the middle of the Pelennor fields while the battle is going on.

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

601. When the Uruk-hai surround you and your friend, say "They're not monsters, they're just innocent aliens".
Or alternatively, they could be Alien!:eek: And he is worse than all of the orcs of Mordor and Uriks ever... just ask the Phantom.

[Gollum the Great]

604. TP the White Tree

605. Tell Butterbur that his beer tastes like vinegar and something the orc brought in

606. Say "Dude, what a pair of ugly mugs!" when Ugluk and Grishnakh are arguing
:D:D:D

[Eönwë]

607. Slap yourself in the face.
608. Punch yourself in the face.
608. If you're flexible enough, kick yourself in the face.

or, if you're not a fan of hand-to hand combat:

609. Stab youself with a Bilbo's knife
610. Stab youself with the shards of Narsil
611. Stab yourself with a Morgul blade (well, you don't really die, per se)

[Lindale]

Place in front of Gollum a hundred shiny gold rings.

Tell old Denethor to chill immediately after he hears of Boromir's death.

[Gollum the Great]

614. Use Saruman's Blasting Fire on the 4th of July.
615. Invite a dragon over to do fire-tricks on the 4th.

-The Preciouss

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Pull on Tom Bombadill's Beard... hard... repeatedly...

OR

Tell Smaug he's put on weight.

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

Pull on Tom Bombadill's Beard... hard... repeatedly...Do you really think that Tom would actually kill you? Well, he might feed you to a Barrow-Wight...

Another one,
Get stuck for a day with the BW.
Read Hookbill's newspaper... oh wait.:p

[The Sixth Wizard]

616. Charge into some heavily armed orcs, dodge a scimitar swing, kill the captain, chop down another three as they retreat, slice a Warg out from under its rider as a horde of reinforcements scream forth in fury, hold the line as the main host hits your outnumbered regiment, see men fall all around you before the first rays of sun break across the horizon, mount a horse as you gleefully rout the enemy from the field, then trip as you dismount hours later and break your neck. Damn. :o

[Eönwë]

617. Eat a balog
618. Smoke a balrog

618. Try to live as long as Gandalf without being a Maia.
619. Try to live as long as Legolas without being an elf.
620. Try to live as long as GImli without being a dwarf.
621. Try to live as long as Aragorn without being of Numenorean descent.
622. Try to live as long as any character with a longer-than-average-human-lifespan.

[Nazgûl-king]

623. Jump off the wall at Helm’s Deep as the wall explodes, get hit on the head by a rock, run over by a pack of Uruk-hai, survive then get hit by an arrow a minute later, and drown in the water.

[Eönwë]

624. Be an orc and get stabbed by an elven blade.
625. Be an orc and get slashed by an elven blade.
626. Be an orc and get hacked by an elven blade.
627. Be an orc and get killed by any of the Fellowship.
628. Be an orc and get killed by any of the free peoples.
629. Be an orc and go into Shelob's cave.
630. Be an orc.
631. Be a good orc.


....Glad I got that out of my system

[Babidi Buu]

632. Trying Gothmog's stunt with the boulder(Side stepping)
633. If your a Belrog, Make sure your inside on a rainy day!
634. Telling Sauron "You've got a Saur on your eye"

Hopefully nobody beat me to any of those ^_^

[Lindale]

617. Eat a balog
618. Smoke a balrog

618. Try to live as long as Gandalf without being a Maia.
619. Try to live as long as Legolas without being an elf.
620. Try to live as long as GImli without being a dwarf.
621. Try to live as long as Aragorn without being of Numenorean descent.
622. Try to live as long as any character with a longer-than-average-human-lifespan.


actually, just don't be an Elf or a Maia or a Vala or an Ent and you'll surely die. eventually. but if you want death to be faster,

634. just walk into mordor and ask, Why do all of you guys smell like you haven't bathed in a thousand years?

[Babidi Buu]

636. If denethor askes you to come over for a BBQ, Dont do it!
637. If a Balrog askes you to come over for a BBQ, Dont do it!
638. Annoying sauron about "Why does an Eye want a Ring?"

[Lindale]

639. Have Galadriel give you a lock of her hair, in front of Feanor.
640. Try to stop the rebellion in Tuna by saying, Eru'll damn you forever, in front of Feanor.
641. Let Feanor catch you staring like mad at the Silmarilli.
642. Try to keep a Silmaril without being a Son of Feanor.
643. Try to keep a Silmaril without being Earendil.
645. Try to keep a Silmaril without being Beren.
646. Try to keep a Silmaril without being Eonwe.
647. Just try to keep a Silmaril.

[Faramir Jones]

648. Ask Feanor why he's wasting his time making 'girly' things like jewels, and suggest that he should consider becoming an architect.
649. Tell Morgoth that his jewellery obsession is unworthy of his great ambition of absolute power over Arda.

[Naz]

I'd add trying to steal anything from Lobelia.

Or giving her even more spoons.

("Just try to keep a Silmaril" made me laugh. It's so true!)

[Faramir Jones]

650. Tell Feanor that he's a bad role model for his sons, due to his obsession with making 'bling'.

[Faramir Jones]

651. Tell Morgoth that he's such a pathetic escaped thrall that the Valar's reward for his return is only one silver penny.

[Eönwë]

652. Slap Morgoth.
653. Slap Sauron.
654. Slap Manwe.
655. Slap Saruman.
656. Slap Gandalf.
657. Slap Aragorn.
658. Slap Legolas.
659. Slap Sam.
660. Slap anyone except yourself.

[Eönwë]

661. Jump off a cliff.

[Eönwë]

662. Try to stab Morgoth like Fingolfin did.
663. Try to eat Morgoth.
664. Try to hug Morgoth.
665. Try to kiss Morgoth.
665b. Just joking-
666. Try to be Morgoth (Mwah ha ha hah!:p)
667. Try to live as long as Morgoth.
668. Try to live near Morgoth.
669. Make this many ways to die which include Morgoth.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Just two words;

Balrog sandwich.

[Eönwë]

671. Try to kill Boromir (in the movies)
672. Try to kill a hobbit
673. Try to eat a hobbit (yes, I'm looking at you, alatar)

[alatar]

673. Try to eat a hobbit (yes, I'm looking at you, alatar)
Not sure why this made the list, as, as long as you cook them thoroughly, there shouldn't be a problem.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

674. Try to fit horse-shoes to a Balrog...
675. Try to fit wings to a Balrog. ;)
676. Walk around Gondor in an Orc costume shouting 'Ellesar is a rubbish king!'

[Beregond]

EDIT: Hey, you posted before me and messed up my numbering! :P

677. Ask Sauron to "lend" you the Ring.
678. Try to destroy the Ring with dragon-fire.
679. Go on a journalistic adventure to determine, once and for all, if Balrogs have wings.
680. Journey to the Icebay of Forochel and forget matches and a good jacket.
681. Be stranded on Tol Morwen during the Great Flood.
682. Be anywhere else west of the Ered Luin during the Great Flood.
683. Sail to the edge of the world before the end of the Second Age.
684. Try to assail Aman.
685. Try to find Aman.

[Eönwë]

Not sure why this made the list, as, as long as you cook them thoroughly, there shouldn't be a problem.

I thought that they were poisonous in large amounts. *shrugs*

[Beregond]

686. Run around in yellow boots shouting nonsense like "hey doll, merry doll, ring a dong dillo!" until Peter Jackson makes a movie, at which point you will no longer exist.

[Eönwë]

687. Eat Orc food
688. Drink Orc drinks
689. Eat Orc
690. Drink Orc
691. Try to liquidise an Orc!

692. Triple post on this thread (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?t=12692)

[Hookbill the Goomba]

693. trampled by a Balrog riding a Dragon. :eek:

[Eönwë]

694. See a Balrog riding a dragon

[Hookbill the Goomba]

695. Attempt to get a piggy-back ride from a Balrog riding a Dragon in some nightmarish form of Jenga.

[Eönwë]

696. Be within 300 miles of the above scene.

[Galadriel55]

Not sure why this made the list, as, as long as you cook them thoroughly, there shouldn't be a problem.

as long as you don't argue for too long about how to cook them. :)

697. be a troll who argues for too long and lets the sun's rays reach him...