Phantom: The Thread (The Most Important Thread EVER)

[the phantom]

I'm sure the majority of you are familiar with Chuck Norris Facts, but in case you're not, here are a couple of examples.
Fact: Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
Fact: Ghosts like to sit around campfires and tell Chuck Norris stories.
Fact: Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Fact: Chuck Norris once kicked a man in the soul.

As great as Chuck Norris is, all Downers know that he pales in comparison to The Phantom. So- logically there ought to be a place where people can post various Downs/Tolkien-related Phantom Phacts and testimonies to Phantom's greatness.

So, let's get things kicked off here-

[the phantom]

Phact: Phantom once put on the One Ring... IT turned invisible.
Phact: Phantom knows where the Entwives are.
Phact: One time in a Werewolf game, Phantom fake revealed as the Hunter so convincingly that even the real Hunter believed him.

[Inziladun]

Phact: All the people inside phantom have their own FBI phile.

[Boromir88]

Phact: The sight of phantom caused Butterbur to literally melt

Phact: the phantom convinced Elrond and Gandalf their plan to send a hobbit blindly into Mordor was stupid when all they had to do was give him the ring and he could unmake it. Thus, the One Ring was unmade by the phantom. The story titled "Lord of the Rings" is a load of lies made up by a jealous hobbit.

[Oddwen]

Phact: Wherever three or more Downers are, the phantom is there also.

Phact: When the phantom looks into the mirror of Galadriel, he sees only himself.

Phact: When Mandos pronounced a doom upon the phantom that he didn't like, the phantom turned a cold shoulder. That shoulder is the Helcaraxe.

Phact: Gollum thought the time had come to ask something hard and horrible. This is what he said:

This thing all things devours
Birds, beasts, trees, flowers
Gnaws iron, bites steel
Grinds hard stones to meal
Slays king, ruins town
And beats high mountains down

Unfortunately for Gollum Bilbo had heard that sort of thing before; and the answer was all around him any way. "the phantom!" he said without even scratching his head or putting on his thinking cap.

Phact: the phantom can carry it for you.

Phact: the phantom can simply walk into Mordor.

Phact: the phantom never, ever drops eaves.

Phact: the phantom really, really likes it when people talk about him.

[Inziladun]

Phact: Phantom the neapolitan (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neapolitan_ice_cream) was the true head of the Istari.

[Inziladun]

Phact: When phantom is beside him, Manwë can predict the outcome of fantasy sports.

[Oddwen]

Phact: 87% of Downers have the phantom's profile as their homepage. The other 13% haven't visited the forum since 12-31-1969.

Phact: the phantom never uncloaks, because he doesn't want half of North America to go blind.

Phact: the phantom puts the 'Zoom' in Mount Zoom.

Phact: The Merisuwyniel smilie (:Merisu:) really hopes the phantom will notice her.

Phact: the phantom once visited the Caves of Aglarond and decided they needed more zazz. So he zazzed them.

Phact: Eowyn and Merry were just plain lucky in ending the witch king. Glorfindel's original prophecy was

Do not pursue him! He will not return to these lands. Far off yet is his doom, and only by the hand of the phantom shall he fall

Phact: The reason Aragorn had an evil memory of his first visit to Moria was that he went on a dare from the phantom, who then kept jumping out from behind rocks yelling "BOOGABOOGA!" at him.

Phact: The wane of Gondor can be traced back to the exact moment that Atanatar he Glorious proclaimed "Gondor has no phantom. Gondor needs no phantom".

Phact: The only reason that Meneltarma survived the fall of Numenor was because the phantom was chillaxin' there.

Phact: the phantom followed the lights and lit a little candle of his own, but suffered no ill effects.

Phact: Everyone thinks that "Precious" is Gollum's pet name for the Ring. It isn't. Know why? Because it's Gollum's pet name for the phantom.

Phact: The Snowmen of Forochel are always a bit depressed, because they know they can never be quite as cool as the phantom.

Phact: Tilion chases Vasa because he thinks the phantom is driving it.

Phact: The reason that Luthien and Arwen were said to be so alike was...well, let's just say that Thingol and Elrond weren't the most attentive of husbands.

[Gwathagor]

Phact: The Phantom doesn't have to wait 30 seconds between posts.

[Gwathagor]

Phact: The Phantom went back in time and made the internet, then came back and told the Barrow-Wight to create the Barrow-Downs. The BW said, "What the heck is a Barrow-Down?" So the Phantom went farther back in time and made Tolkien put the Barrows-Downs into The Lord of the Rings. He did this while in utero. (It is also possible that the Phantom IS the internet.)

Phact: That's not his avatar. That's his photograph.

Phact: Tom Bombadil may be the Master, but the Phantom is Tom Bombadil's Master.

[Pitchwife]

Phact: Contrary to popular belief in Gondor, the Argonath originally were miniature action figures of the phantom.

Phact: Mount Doom originally was the phantom's teapot warmer before he gave it to Sauron for the latter's 1000,000,000th birthday.

Phact: Two forces are as fate to all things in Arda - the Music of the Ainur and the phantom. Men are free to live their lives unbound by the former, but even they can't escape the latter.

[Bom Tombadillo]

Phact: the phantom once punched Chuck Norris. The effect of two such forces being near each other annihilated both of them. the phantom came back from the dead. Chuck Norris didn't, so tp used his omnipresence to impersonate him.

Phact: J.R.R. Tolkien was really the phantom in disguise.

Phact: the phantom may or may not actually be himself in disguise.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Phact: phantom beat Sean Bean in a dying contest.

[satansaloser2005]

Phact: You may not be able to edit a WW post after the fact, but Phantom can edit the post before you've even made it.

Phact: The only reason why we're not sure whether balrogs have wings is because Phantom did such a good job of ripping them off.

Phact: When making the Rings movies, the film makers approached Phantom for styling tips, hoping to model Legolas after a paragon of phashion and charm. Phantom sent them pictures of his mother as a joke, but the studio didn't understand and used them anyway.

Phact: Phantom makes the best meat dishes. Why? Did he steal Sauron's spice rack full of secret herbs and spices? Of course not! He hired Melkor to do it for him.

Phact: Phantom's standard signature ("The Phantom has posted. This thread is now important.") is, in fact, a lie. His posts don't make a thread important. His posts are the only reason new threads exist.

Phact: Feanor was Phantom in disguise. His death was faked because Phantom wanted to go back home and watch football.

Phact: J.R.R. really stands for "Joking! Read Reverse." If you read Rings backward and use the proper cipher, the books are actually a testament to the greatness of Phantom. (The estate, naturally, denies any such allegations, mostly because they've read the decoded books and realize that messing with Phantom would be a bad idea.)

[Inziladun]

Phact: The forum AI dreams (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?t=11918) of phantom.

Phact: Phantom once played every role in a WW game while simultaneously modding, and still won.

Phact: When phantom went to Tirion and announced he was hungry, the hill of Túna became a hill of tuna.

[the phantom]

Phact: The Phantom once spit in a lake in the Misty Mts. That lake became known as Mirrormere.

Phact: Phantom can get fish from the forbidden pool whenever he feels like it.

Phact: When he was young, Sean Bean foolishly bet Phantom that he couldn't eat an entire herd of goats. Of course he lost the bet, and his punishment- from that day forward he was required to accept any movie role he was offered in which his character dies.

Phact: In Werewolf, Phantom once posted "++Bad Guys" and gave a vote to all the Wolves and Cobblers in the village.

[Gwathagor]

Phact: The cake is a phantom.

[Gwathagor]

Phact: Chuck Norris is the Phantom's son. Sean Bean was the mother. So was Bruce Lee. (The mother, I mean.)

[Oddwen]

Phact: The only mistake the phantom has ever made was accidentally sneezing on Lalaith.

Phact: the phantom wrote the "not allowed" list for the bounders.

Phact: The strong wine of Dorwinion was not meant for the tables of the Elvenking, it was meant for the phantom.

Phact: Aragorn and Legolas went now with Eomer in the van...which was driven by the phantom.

Phact: the phantom gave a personal reference and convinced Saruman the White to hire a random Rohanian underling named Grima.

Phact: The Uruk-hai and the Olog-hai share a common ancestor. Named the phantom. It was indeed, a black evil.

Phact: Whatcha doing after work? Yeah? Sounds fun. the phantom has done it twice already today.

Phact: One of the phantom's courtiers was mumbling about the evil king of Angmar one day, prompting the phantom to ask "Which king?". The name stuck.

[Pitchwife]

Phact: Das phantom ist die wurst aller würste.

[Mnemosyne]

Phact: the phantom solved the Canonicity thread.

Phact: the phantom doesn't write Tolkien fan fiction. Tolkien wrote phantom fan fiction.

Phact: The Music of the Ainur was, in phact, the phantom singing in the shower.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Phact: the phantom can rep the same person twice in a row.

Phact: the phantom is not limited to twenty PMs.

Phact: the phantom can use more than three smileys in the same post.

[Shastanis Althreduin]

Phact: The amount of hot air in the phantom's huge head could supply heat to every hobbit house in the Shire for the next decade.

[Galadriel55]

Phact: the phantom waited until I'm away to start this thread on purpose, so that I'll have 23 posts to read through.

Phact: he is quite enjoying himself.

Phact: he made the One Ring before unmaking it in Rivendell. But even so, he still rules them all.

[Gwathagor]

Phact: Chuck Norris only counted to infinity after failing to count to phantom.

[Gwathagor]

Phact: The reason the Eagles couldn't just drop the Ring into Orodruin was because the Phantom had already booked them.

[Galadriel55]

Phact: this is the most important thread EVER. :smokin::p

Phact: TP is invading the subconcience of other Downers. See the 'Dreams thread for more details.

[Nerwen]

Phact: The only mistake the phantom has ever made was accidentally sneezing on Lalaith.
Phact: It wasn't a mistake (http://www.forum.barrowdowns.com/showpost.php?p=628824&postcount=21).

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Phact: the phantom can close threads.

Phact: the phantom can delete anyone's posts (especially yours).

Phact: the phantom controls the skwerls AND the spiders.

[Oddwen]

Phact: I painstakingly went through the phantom's posting history, phacebook, myspace, website, etc., and gleaned the wisdom of the ages.

Here in the phantom's own words, is the meaning of liphe:

the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom the phantom

tl;dr: the phantom

[Lhunardawen]

Phact: Go not to the phantom for counsel, for he will say things that will make your head explode.


Oddwen: What? Not 42?

[Oddwen]

Oddwen: What? Not 42?


Dear Lhuny, I think if you'll re-read the second paragraph...


...wait...

...ohoho, my silly subconscious! Here I thought I was typing up an insightful essay into the human condition! Instead, my thoughts seem to have strayed to thoughts of the one who can go down the road without keeping his feet and not get swept away. Funny how the human mind works, isn't it?

[Bom Tombadillo]

Phact: the phantom won The Game (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Game_(mind_game)). the phantom did not lose The Game when he looked at this.

Phact: The Secret Fire isn't with Eru, it's with the phantom.

Phact: the phantom once built a sandcastle. That sandcastle is now known as Taniquetil.

[the phantom]

Just wanted to pass along what a friend of mine said about your post, Oddwen.

"At first I thought that 'meaning of liphe' essay was just a big joke, but I went ahead and read it, and as I went along I actually found it to be quite inspirational. I am now quite overcome with a desire to go out and be extremely awesome today. Thanks so much, Oddwen!"

[the phantom]

Phact: Phantom laughs at live dragons.

Phact: Scoring three goals during a game is known as a "hat trick". Scoring three goals per minute during a game is known as a "Phantom trick".

Phact: Bilbo likes Phantom exactly as much as he deserves.

Phact: In their native language, it takes Ents over four years to refer to Phantom.

[Galadriel55]

Phact: Morgoth was Phantom in disguise. Isn't it obvious, when his former name means "One who arises in might"?

Phact: the phantom is a cyber murderer. He murders RPG characters. :p

Phact: his horse is better than Phelaroph.

Phact: his head is so big that he doesn't fit in the pavilion on the Party Field.

Phact: the three trolls didn't turn to stone because of Gandalf or the sun or any such; rather, they became stone upon taking a mere glance at the phantom. Which brings me to this conclusion: TP has basilisk blood in him. (:cool: <-- puts on protective goggles)

Phact: from now on, any "f" sound will be spelled with PH.

[Bom Tombadillo]

Phact: phrom now on, any "ph" sound will be spelled with PH.

Phixed that phor you.

Phact: You do not exist. You are just a phigment oph the phantom's imagination.

Phact: The Ringwraiths are deadly enemies, but they are only shadows yet oph the power and terror they would possess iph they were as awesome as the phantom (they aren't).

[Galadriel55]

Phixed that phor you.

And I thought that "phrom now on" means "phrom now on", not "starting at the beginning of this sentence". Pphhh!!! ;)

Phact: TP can make better jewels than Pheanor.

Phact: aphter seeing but a shadow oph all TP's glory, the Hobbits changed their horn-blowing signal to "Phoes! Phire! Phear! Just make sure not to wake up and anger The Phantom!"

ETA: Phact: the phantom wears special kind of clothing: it's called phants.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Phact: Go not to the elves for council, for they will say "Go ask the phantom."

[Galadriel55]

Phact: phantom is the alien. :eek:

[Oddwen]

"I am now quite overcome with a desire to go out and be extremely awesome today. Thanks so much, Oddwen!"

Second only to inspirational essays are inspirational image macros. Arguably the most important and influential series of these is called Courage Phantom.

Spinoffs include Advice Alien, Insanity Nilp, Socially Awkward Oddwen, Hipster Lommy, and Philosiraptor, to name a few hangers-on.

Courage Phantom laughs at your fears while urging you on to awesomeness.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v58/Oddwen/downsstuff/triadone.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v58/Oddwen/downsstuff/triadtwo.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v58/Oddwen/downsstuff/triadthree.jpg

[satansaloser2005]

Phact: The Phantom once tried to lynch himself. He failed, because the Phantom cannot be lynched.

Phact: The Phantom knows where the Entwives are because he was with them last night.

Phact: This (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showpost.php?p=607398&postcount=703). (The original (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uz4eHPD40w4) is also true.)

Phact: Phantom once got Sally to talk about sports, a fact which until recently was thought impossible.

[Inziladun]

Phact: Long-term exposure to phantom has been linked to chronic feelings of inferiority, with side effects of communicable awesomeness. For further information, please consult a physician.

[Lhunardawen]

Phact: Long-term exposure to phantom has been linked to chronic feelings of inferiority, with side effects of communicable awesomeness. For further information, please consult a physician.

Phact: Consulting a physician would yield no further information because the said phenomenon is way too mind-boggling to be taught in medical school.

[Galadriel55]

Oddwen, those pictures are phantastic! :D

Phact: BWH doesn't rule our site. TP does.

Phact: the name of the forum will be changed to The Phantom Downs. The homepage will feature his avatar.

Phact: Phantom can look Arien in the eyes without blinking.

[the phantom]

Phact: Phantom can open the doors of Moria by hitting them with a stick and shouting "Edro!"

Phact: The Lonely Mt is lonely because Phantom never drops by to visit any more.

Phact: Phantom is the reason for the teardrops on Taylor Swift's guitar.

Phact: He is also the reason for the teardrops on Lhuna's med textbooks.

[Galadriel55]

Phact: the Doors of Moria don't need anyone to shout at them. When it's Phantom that comes by them, they open by themselves as soon as they see him.

Phact: the Leap of Beren is really the Leap of Phantom. Nothing and no one can equal Phantom when he leaps.

[Oddwen]

Phact: Sauron called himself the Lord of Gifts because the phantom once graced him with his presence.

[Nerwen]

Phact: Sauron came to regret claiming to be the "master of shadows and of phantoms", though.

[Oddwen]

Phact: When the phantom first joined The Barrow Downs, he started his own "Hello" introductory thread. The Barrow-Wight stickied it.

Phact: The last thread the phantom will make will be titled "the phantom Would Like To Announce His Engagement". It will be his last because once he undergoes the complicated and illegal surgical procedure required to marry oneself, he will be far, far too busy in real life to bother with his online one.

[Oddwen]

Phact: When the phantom looks in the mirror of Erised, he sees only himself. So does everyone else, but they lie about it.

Phact: Sauron revealed then to Gorlim that Eilinel was long dead, and that what he had thought was his wife was the phantom intending to trick him.

Phact: the phantom regularly tosses dwarves.

Phact: Orlando Bloom based his shield and oliphaunt surfing moves on the phantom, who will often slide around on his kitchen floor in his socks.

Phact: the phantom does not sleep. He waits.

Phact: the phantom's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No-one fools the phantom.

Shadowphax: There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse because the phantom is going to walk.

Phaxe: the phantom knows how much a woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

Phact: the phantom doesn't read books. He just stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

[Galadriel55]

Phact: our forum will soon undergo a new improvement: the Phantom SunPhorum will be open soon. This thread will be stickied there.

[satansaloser2005]

Phact: When the phantom first joined The Barrow Downs, he started his own "Hello" introductory thread. The Barrow-Wight stickied it.

Is it sad that I actually checked to see if that thread had been started by Phantom?

I thought so too. :o


Phact: All phacts on this thread are true, even the ones "proven" to be false. Or rather, phalse.

Phact: The above phact is phalse.

Phact: I now am spelling all Fs with a PH. Ask Mnemosyne; she can vouch phor the whole phlipping thing.

Phact: Phor reals now, I phrankly think this thread isn't phun anymore. It's been phar too active, and I'm phairly certain the phurry skwerls will not phind it very phunny.

Phact: Doing the above defies spellcheck, because Phantom defies spellcheck.

[Galadriel55]

Phact: Doing the above defies spellcheck, because Phantom defies spellcheck.

Counter-phact: phantom does not defy spellcheck. He dephies it. :smokin:

[Oddwen]

Phact: Each time that Eru Iluvatar raised his hands during the Music of the Ainur, he was trying to shush everyone so he could listen to the phantom.

Phact: When Aule first made the Fathers of the Dwarves, he was trying to follow the phantom's instructions in making the first Chia Pets. the phantom was so disgusted with the failure that he went told Eru that Aule was playing with Barbies.

Phact: the phantom knew that Finrod Felagund was the Ranger, but attacked Beren anyway.

Phact: the phantom's energy drink of choice is Red Balrog. "It may or may not give you wings".

Phact: the phantom is the Red Bull.

Phact: the phantom is El-ahrairah (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=neBftfMt5xA&feature=related), Phantom with a Thousand Enemies.

Phact: Soylent Green is the phantom.

Phact: By the command of Morgoth the Orcs with great labor gathered all the bodies of those who had fallen in the great battle, and all their harness and weapons, and piled them in a great mound in the midst of Anfaulglith; and it was like a hill that could be seen from afar. Haudh-en-Ndengin the Elves named it, the Hill of Slain, and Haudh-en-Nirnaeth, the Hill of Tears. But grass came there and grew again long and green upon that hill, alone in all the desert that Morgoth made, and the phantom was wroth, because they had dug up the place where his Chia Pet army was supposed to awaken from. And the phantom forbade any creature of Morgoth to tread thereafter upon the earth beneath which the swords of the Eldar and the Edain crumbled into rust and the pottery shards of the Chia crumbled into dust.

[Bom Tombadillo]

Phact: The Doctor phears the phantom.

Phact: The Nazgul phear phire because the phantom invented it.

Phact: the phantom is right behind you. Nodon'tlookyouphoo

[the phantom]

Phact: In the first ever Tol-In-Gaurhoth game the first ever vote for the first ever Fenris Wolf (here (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?p=388556#post388556)) was cast by Phantom. Therefore, from henceforth the term shall be Phenris Wolf.

Phact: Bom Tom will be richly rewarded for already being on board with the new spelling.

[Galadriel55]

Phact: TP is too cool to write "ph" instead oph "f".

Phact: Bom is secretly TP's right-hand man.

[Bom Tombadillo]

Phalsehood: Of the phate of Ungoliant no tale tells. Yet some have said that she ended long ago, when in her uttermost phamine she devoured herselph at last.

Phact: Of the phate of Ungoliant no tale tells. Yet some have said that she ended long ago, when in her uttermost phamine she tried to eat the phantom. It didn't end well.

[Oddwen]

Phact: the phantom does not decide who is right, only who is left.

Phact: the phantom transcends all conventional ideas of positive or negative morality, believing all things, ideas and actions to be only "the phantom" and "not the phantom".

Phact: the phantom law states that "all things except the phantom being not the phantom left themselves tend only toward not the phantom".

Phact: Saying "phantom" a bunch of times sounds really silly.

Phact: Rumor has it that the phantom has a new cologne coming out. It'll be called "phantsy pants".

Phact: the phantom is officially part of the legendarium.

[Boromir88]

phact: Gandalf's boots were too small for the phantom.

phact: The only one who can ban the phantom from the Barrow-downs website, is the phantom.

phact: Saruman broke the white light, phantom broke it twice.

phact: The reason the phantom has never been lynched in werewolf, is because it's against the very laws of nature. If the phantom ever were lynched, the world would cease to exist. Many civilizations have debated on when exactly this Doomsday would come, but they all agree the day the phantom is lynched will be the day the world ends.

phact: The phantom, knowing the above is phact, self-learned the power of Osanwe. Anyone who thinks of casting a "++the phantom" suddenly hears a voice telling them "No you fool! Not the phantom! Vote for *insert name*." No one can refuse a command from the Voice.

phact: Galadriel and Gandalf learned the power of Osanwe from the phantom.

phact: Melkor is "He who rises in Might," the phantom is "He who rises even Mightier."

[Galadriel55]

phact: Saruman broke the white light, phantom broke it twice.

Phact: he also broke the wight light.

[Nerwen]

B]Phact:[/B] Bom is secretly TP's right-hand man.
What do you mean, "secretly"?

[Galadriel55]

What do you mean, "secretly"?

Bom is too modest to openly admit it. :p Though everybody knows anyways. :D

[Galadriel55]

Phact: anyone who is at least partially responsible for the rating of this thread to be below 5/5 will suffer the consequences. The Phantom will not slay them in their own turn... and you know the rest.

[Boromir88]

phact: drop your sandwhich on the ground, you won't pick it up to eat it. Drop your sandwhich where the phantom's walked, and you'll eat it off the ground.

[Blind Guardian]

Phact: anyone who is at least partially responsible for the rating of this thread to be below 5/5 will suffer the consequences. The Phantom will not slay them in their own turn... and you know the rest.

Whoops.:rolleyes:

[Oddwen]

phact: drop your sandwhich on the ground, you won't pick it up to eat it. Drop your sandwhich where the phantom's walked, and you'll eat it off the ground.

Phact: Drop your sandwich on the ground, you won't pick it up to eat it. Drop your sandwich onto the ground where the phantom has walked, you will be eating a sandwich for the next three or so minutes. Ahahaheheheheh.

Phact: the phantom doesn't shave in the morning. He lights his face on fire, and when the smoke clears, all that's left is that smooooooothness that allllll* the ladies and gents love.

"Now we are all here!" said Gandalf, looking at the row of thirteen

hoods-the best detachable party hoods-and the baseball cap and his own hat hanging on the pegs.

"Quite a merry gathering!"



*most all

[the phantom]

Phact: When he's in a silly mood, Phantom dons big yellow boots and a bushy beard and capers about in the Old Forest. You may know him as Tom Bombadil.

Phact: Phantom placed the injured Peyton Manning on his phantasy phootball team. Manning instantly recovered from his injuries and threw for seven touchdowns.

Phact: Gandalf always lets Phantom pass.

[Oddwen]

Phact: the phandom of the phantom is mainly populated by insane phangirls writing the phantom/The Phantom phanphics, genderbended Phantom and Alien comics, and phar, phar too much rule 34. It's disgusting, but the phantom loves it.

Phact: "Chuck Norris? Isn't he dead? Yeah, the phantom killed him." ~Oliphaunts_Rule

Phact: Chuck Norris's real name is Carlos. the phantom's garbage disposal is also named Carlos. Coincidence?

Phact: When the phantom plays chess, all of his pieces are queens.

Phact: When the phantom plays checkers, all of his pieces are queens.

Phact: the phantom will refill the cup of Galadriel when she finishes her drink. Everyone else has to fill their own.

Phact: Galadriel has only asked for the phantom to refill her glass once. She ended up giving the result to Frodo Baggins of the Shire.

Phact: the phantom owns a little boat that can bear someone ever back across so wide a sea. I hear he's willing to sell it for a song.

Phact: the phantom is the true Lord of the Ring. He's also Lord of everything else, so he doesn't mind if Sauron borrows the title for a little while.

Phact: Every time the phantom walks into a building, the sprinklers go off.

Phact: The Hobbit's love for mushrooms is in honor of the phantom. Because he's known everywhere as being a fungi.

Phact: The Entwives have long since fled Middle-earth. Why? Because the phantom ran through their crops screaming "Run, forest, run!!"

Phact: Dwarves are constantly working hard to try to please the phantom, but they always come up short.

Phact: Due to genetics, the phantom is at a high risk for spontaneous combustion. He does not fear, nor should you, that this will elven happen.

[Galadriel55]

Phact: the phantom will refill the cup of Galadriel when she finishes her drink. Everyone else has to fill their own.

Phact: Galadriel always refills The Phantom's cup. :smokin:

[the phantom]

Phact: Hobbits used to live above ground, but when they heard that the phantom had an underground lair, they started digging holes.

Phact: Roads go ever on and on... and they all lead to the phantom's house.

Phact: "Phantom" would have been an acceptable answer to all of Bilbo and Gollum's riddles.

Phact: Faramir once said: "I love not the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. That's what I love the phantom for."

[Galadriel55]

Phact: the phantom is able to possess other beings.

Wait...... isn't that Voldemort?

Phact: Voldemort is the phantom, having some fun.

Phact: the phantom doesn't need a wand to beat everyone else.

Wait... but didn't he die?

Phact: the phantom is deathless. He does not need horcruxes to stay alive.



Phact: I am likely to be scowled at for deviating from Tolkien and the Downs into the Realm of Rowling

[Galadriel55]

Phact: Frodo only stopped raiding Maggot's farm when the farmer told him: "For the love of Phantom, leave my poor mushrooms alone!" And for the love of Phantom he did leave them alone.

[Galadriel55]

Phact: when Gandalf uncloaks, you put on protective eyewear (:cool:). When the phantom uncloaks, you ogle (:eek:)



:p

[satansaloser2005]

I can attest to and approve of the above phact. :smokin:


Really obvious phact: You will curse the Day you did not do all that the phantom asked of you.

[Oddwen]

A couple of days ago, I thought of a very good phact. I cannot for the life of me recall what it was. It must not have been that good, because the phantom somehow proactively prevented me from posting it here. I must humbly apologize for my phailure to phlease.

[satansaloser2005]

Actually, a phailure to have phlease is generally considered to be a good thing. :rolleyes:

[Oddwen]

Actually, a phailure to have phlease is generally considered to be a good thing. :rolleyes:

the phantom's dog doesn't just get fleas. It also gets phleas. Strangely, the phantom isn't even phased, he just picks up his phone and a phalanx of philanthropical philosophizing pharmacists bring him phosphorescent phleabombs phree of charge. All phleas have a phobia of glowing in the dark, so they phlee in terror. Once, the phantom pherreted out a phony pharmacist solely by a suspiciously photogenic philtrum. Aphter they carted the phool away, the phantom ended the evening listening to the London Philharmonic on his phonograph while pondering the phenomenon.

[Galadriel55]

Phact: phantom's phavourite element is phosphorus. :smokin:

[Oddwen]

Phact: phantom's phavourite element is phosphorus.

Though he is traditionally represented as helium (https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1015816954372&set=o.2204573651&type=3).

[Galadriel55]

Though he is traditionally represented as helium (https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1015816954372&set=o.2204573651&type=3).

If only the link would work, by the power of phantom...

Phact:

The Edain remain mortal Men, Aldarion, great though they be: and we cannot dwell in the time that is to come, lest we lose our now for a phantom of our own design.

Erendis once said that to Aldarion. This was the beginning of her real misfortunes.

[Galadriel55]

Really obvious phact: You will curse the Day you did not do all that the phantom asked of you.

Alternative phact: you wil curse the day you waited for phantom to actualy ask you to do it.

[Pitchwife]

Phact of experience: People will curse you on the Day you actually do what the phantom asked you to.;)

[Galadriel55]

Phact of experience: People will curse you on the Day you actually do what the phantom asked you to.;)

........oh no.........not that again...........:D

[Galadriel]

Phact: If Phantom had stolen the Silmarils, Fëanor would not have gone after them :D

[Galadriel55]

Phact: If Phantom had stolen the Silmarils, Fëanor would not have gone after them :D

:D

Phact: Pheanor died, but gave the Silmarili to the Phantom.

[Pitchwife]

Phact: The light of the Silmarils has nothing to do with the Two Trees - it's the brilliancy of the phantom's mind.

Phact: If the phantom had asked Galadriel for a lock of her hair, she would have shaved her entire head.

Phact: Feanor sailed to Middle-earth; Fingolfin braved the Helcaraxe; the phantom just shrugged and walked across the Belegaer.

[Galadriel55]

Lol! :D

Phact: Feanor sailed to Middle-earth; Fingolfin braved the Helcaraxe; the phantom just shrugged and walked across the Belegaer.

Or, how about, the phantom just told the Beleger to get out of the way, and it did.

Phact: when the phantom told the Dark Lord to go to sleep, he did.

Phact: Gollum calls the sun "Yellow Face". He calls the moon "White Face". He calls the phantom "O Great One Whose Splendor Doth Outshine All Faces"

[Inziladun]

Phact: phantom has wings (http://www.boeing.com/defense-space/military/f4/), wheels (http://www.rolls-roycemotorcars.com/phantom/), and has been an inspiration (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Wars_Episode_I:_The_Phantom_Menace) to George Lucas.
For the latter 'accomplishment', phantom must be destroyed.

[Bom Tombadillo]

Phact: Phor the blasphemy oph opposing phantom, Inziladun must be destroyed.

Fact: the phantom isn't all that great.
Counter-Phact: Argh - no! Not tha - OW! Okay, stop! AIEEEEEEEEEEE . . .

Phact: Sauron actually made another ring to give to the phantom. When the Great and Splendipherous One put it on, Sauron became his servant. Then the Most Exprolentarinoquatic One got bored.

[Nerwen]

Phact: phantom has wings (http://www.boeing.com/defense-space/military/f4/), wheels (http://www.rolls-roycemotorcars.com/phantom/), and has been an inspiration (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Wars_Episode_I:_The_Phantom_Menace) to George Lucas.

What a coincidence! I came to this thread specifically to point out that– phact– the phantom is *clearly an overgrown Jawa*. The resemblance is remarkable (http://nerdreactor.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Jawa.jpg), I think you'll all agree.

[Galadriel]

Or, how about, the phantom just told the Beleger to get out of the way, and it did.

Or maybe, the phantom found out about Morgoth's plot before Manwë did and demolished him at first sight? :D

[Galadriel]

:D

Phact: Pheanor died, but gave the Silmarili to the Phantom.

Darn, you outdid me!

Phact: Pheanor made the Silmarils for the Phantom!

[Galadriel55]

Phact: when one looks into Galadriel's Mirror, he sees the phantom. The phantom is seen in different forms. He is the past, present, and future.

Darn, you outdid me!

But you gave me the idea. :)

[Galadriel]

Phact: But you gave me the idea. :)

Fair enough ;)

[Galadriel55]

...but either way, good phacts are worth repeating.

Phact: the phantom said, "Let there be light!" And there was light. It was the light of his brilliance.

[Galadriel55]

Phact: the only reason Eru allowed the creation of Dwarves is because the phantom took a liking to them.

Phact: you know that the Ring's temptations are all lies because it always says "with me you will be better than the phantom".

[Oddwen]

Phact: He knows when you are sleeping, he knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake.

Phact: the phantom has a list, but he only needs to check it once.

Phact: Once night in December, the phantom goes to every house giving gifts to all the good Werewolf players. The bad players get all of their socks stuffed with charcoal and nailed to the wall.

Phact: Watchers of the movie "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" may not remember a key scene where the phantom sings a jolly song and convinces the reindeer that he is reviled not because of his glowing nose, but because of the strange spelling of his name. The song and resulting scene where Rudolph (né Rudolf) and Hermie visit the North Pole Notary for a legal name change were in the original televised broadcast, but have since been lost.

In a somewhat related Phact: the phantom has tried to suppress the fame and popularity of Frosty the Snowman to little avail.

Phact: the phantom wrote the song "Jingle Bell Rock" to be the worst song ever. His success has been unparalleled in the music industry since. The song's power for evil is so great that it can only be played for a few months during the year, else the entire universe would explode.

[Pitchwife]

Phact: the phantom is the only Downer to have his biography made into a philm (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6cMJKQ2kUE&feature=youtu.be)in his liphetime.

[Galadriel55]

Phact: the phantom. He is.

[Gwathagor]

To be or not to be, that is the question...which the universe asks the Phantom.

[Oddwen]

"I think about the phantom, therefore I am." ~Descartes

[Eruhen]

bump

Phact: The Arkenstone is a Silmaril. the phantom was the one who cut and phashioned it phor the Dwarves.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

I don't believe that the phantom exists. If he's real, he'd have to go out here and--

OUCH! OUCH! I GIVE UP! YOU'RE REAL!!

[the phantom]

Phact: Occasionally a thread will delete itself in anguish when Phantom doesn't post on it.

Phact: When Yavanna sang the two trees into existence, she was singing about The Phantom.

Phact: The Dwarves built Khazad-Dum in an effort to get Phantom's attention.

[Boromir88]

Phact: The Dwarves built Khazad-Dum in an effort to get Phantom's attention.

phact: And Durin's bane tried trashing the place because he believed it was his mountain until being told Caradhras was made in the phantom's honor. :p

[Boromir88]

phact: You don't name bridges after the phantom, because nobody dares crossing him.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Phact: When Eärendil landed in Aman and found no-one in Tirion, that was because phantom was in town, and everyone left to see him.

[Galadriel55]

Phact: December 2012 is said to mark the end of the world. But what would really happen is that the phantom would forget about it.


Phact: A host of Downers with Personal Titles was filled with glee until they realised that they will never be as beloved as the phantom.

;)

[Galadriel55]

Phact: the phantom has a pH of inphinity.

Phact: the phantom knows how much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck can chuck wood.

Phact: ...I'm not telling you this secret! :p

[Uruk's Bane]

Phact: The Phantom can cut off ANYONE's head, no matter how high off the ground it stands.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

There was once a man who wanted to impress the phantom.

Inviting the phantom to a tennis court, he told the phantom that he can play tennis--on his own.

And so he did. After serving, he ran around the net, stopped on the other side of the court, and hit a return. Running again, he returned to his original side of the court and returned his own return.

the phantom was indeed impressed. He applauded the man.

Using only one hand.

Phact.


I don't get it.

[Galadriel55]

Good one, Nilp!

Phact: TP can get an interview from a mountain. Been done, been proved. (See yesterday's issue of The Downer.)

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Really obvious phact: You will curse the Day you did not do all that the phantom asked of you.

You will curse the Day you did not do . . . your homework. You always do what the phantom asks of you.

(Yes, you're doing it now.)


(Yup, you're still doing it. The will of the phantom is inephphable.)

[Galadriel55]

Phact: an average Downer can only guess what will happen to the Downs in 2 years. the phantom knows what will happen to the Downs in 2 years.

[Galadriel55]

Phact: the phantom can win a game of chess in one move.

Phact: the phantom once flew around the world. On his bicycle.

Phact: there was once a man who annoyed the phantom, so the phantom punched him in the back of his face.

Phact: a strong man can push a car. A very strong man can lift a car. the phantom can carry three trucks - one in each hand.

Phact: the phantom lives in the fourth dimension.

Phact: when a man did the phantom a favour, the phantom paid him back in kind, on the 32nd of that month.

Phact: the phantom likes a good morning exercise. He jogs from one end of the Great Wall of China to the other and back every day.

Phact: the phantom is never late. It is the time that is early.

Phact: the phantom won a game of rock-paper-scisors by showing the finger.

Phact: a kid once said that "the phantom is no more real than Santa Clause!" The next Christmas his house exploded.

Phact: the phantom won in the duel between Glorfindel and the Balrog.

Phact: the world was created by God. God was created by the phantom.

Phact: the phantom's biography states that he is the eldest of three and a half children.

[Boromir88]

Phact: The Red Cross lets the phantom donate blood twice without letting 55 days pass inbetween.

^
Phact: It's never his own blood.

[Morthoron]

Phact: The Phantom once shot a man in his pajamas. What the man was doing in Phantom's pajamas we'll never know.

Phact: Plaque does not form on Phantom's teeth out of respect.

Phact: Policemen pull over Phantom...just to get his autograph.

Phact: When Phantom was born, he slapped the doctor.

Phact: Michaelangelo used Phantom as a model for his David sculpture (obviously, it was a cold day).

[satansaloser2005]

Hello,everybody!Junwei Medical dental compressor manufacturer Provides high

Phact: the phantom provides a better high.

[Galadriel55]

Phact: the phantom takes the bite from the MacIntosh and looks out the Windows.

Phact: fool a man - shame on you. Fool a superior - well, just don't fool a superior. You can never fool the phantom.

Phact: the phantom's second-favourite dish is roasted snake feet. His favourite is fried fish lungs.

Phact: the phantom can defeat himself and win.

Phact: the phantom once flew to the sun. How did he manage the temperature? He flew at night. :smokin:

Phact: Sauron has only 9 fingers because Isildur chopped one off. He only has 1 eye because... well, let's just say he had a staring contest with the phantom that did not go well for him.

Phact: the phantom once gave Eru and the Ainur some hallucinogen drugs. The result was the creation of Ea.

Phact: Tolkien invented the legendarium. the phantom invented Tolkien.

Phact: Gandalf can make ring shapes out of smoke, but only the phantom, when smoking a pipe, can make Gandalf shapes.

Phact: when Beren confronted him, Carcharoth snapped his jaws around his hand. When he came across the phantom, he tried to do the same trick. As a result Carcharoth suffered severe toothache for the next seven years and lost more than several teeth.



Hmm. xed with some highs.

[Eönwë]

Phact: the phantom takes the bite from the MacIntosh and looks out the Windows.
I thought he wore the mackintosh.

[Galadriel55]

I thought he wore the mackintosh.

Wearing something with a bite in it?! the phantom?!

[satansaloser2005]

Wearing something with a bite in it?! the phantom?!

Hey, he took the bite out of it. It was probably a trophy, like those necklaces made out of ears.

[Oddwen]

I thought he wore the mackintosh.

Phact: the phantom never wears a mac in the pouring rain. And it's not strange at all.

[Galadriel55]

Phact: whoever says that perfection in impossible has never met the phantom.

[Galadriel55]

Phact: the phantom lives longer than anyone around him. How can we prove that? Easily! February, in the phantom's calendar, always has 30 days.

Phact: people only decided on the ∞ sign for infinity after they all failed to draw the phantom in all his perfection.

Phact: the phantom can enter and leave the Halls of Mandos at his pleasure.

Phact: there will never be a story/film titled "The Return of The Phantom", because the phantom has never left in the first place. He is always here.

[Galadriel55]

Phact: The Phantom never lies. If he says something that differs from the truth, well, truth better change itself quickly.

Phact: there are two basic rules in life. 1) the phantom is always right. b) if he is wrong, see the first rule.

Phact: the ice ages occured when the phantom visited a different galactic and left the Earth without his effulging presence.

Phact: it is said by the hobbits that uppon Saruman's death his spirit rose from his dead body, but a wind from the West blew it away. What is not said by the hobbits is that the phantom just happened to sneeze a few miles away.

Phact: Using the Ring, Sauron can read the thoughts of other Ringbearers. the phantom doesn't have to use anything to read anyone's mind.

[Galadriel55]

Phact: the phantom can judge a round of Taters to Taters and win that round.

[Nerwen]

The amount of hot air can provide huge head in phantom calories per Charles Hobbit house, in the next decade.
Precisely. :D

[the phantom]

Now that is a Phantom Phact- a posting without equal on this thread!

(Though Info's post here (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?p=674206#post674206) is probably his best work.)

[Nerwen]

Now that is a Phantom Phact- a posting without equal on this thread!

(Though Info's post here (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?p=674206#post674206) is probably his best work.)

Indeed– pure poetry!

[Galadriel55]

What a coincidence! I came to this thread specifically to point out that– phact– the phantom is *clearly an overgrown Jawa*. The resemblance is remarkable (http://nerdreactor.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Jawa.jpg), I think you'll all agree.

Indeed, Jawas began to dress this way after the phantom graced Tatooine with his presence.


Phact: the phantom is the reason palantirs can talk to each other.

Phact: the phantom once forgot to put his lunch leftovers in the fridge. The resulting growth became the universe.

Phact: The way is shut. It was made by those who are Dead, and the Dead keep it, until the phantom comes.

Phact: I'm going to phail my midterm... If only they would test phacts instead of facts!