View Full Version : If Tolkien was still alive, I would...
Maikacairien
07-06-2002, 02:24 PM
If Tolkien was still alive I would send him a letter asking him to write a book about Sam. Does anyone feel the same?,<a href='http://www.neopets.com/refer.phtml?username=glynis68'><img src='http://images.neopets.com/badges/dolls/17.gif'></a> smilies/eek.gif
Anna Licumo
07-06-2002, 02:31 PM
Hey yeah! If Tolkien was still alive I would mob his house, chain him in there, and force him to write about everyone and everything connected to ME. Oh, and give him Turkish Delight as a present whenever he finished a book. Mmmmm, turkish delight....
Nevfeniel
07-06-2002, 02:34 PM
Mae govannen, both of you! Welcome to the 'Downs, happy posting, and all the other 'customary' greetings we have at the Barrow Downs.
Anyhoo, if Tolkien was still alive, I would ask him about Balrogs (wings, or lack of), and the color of Legolas's hair, and all the other things that us nit-picking fans want to know.
EDIT: By the way, I know someone is going to play party-pooper by saying that if Tolkien were still alive, he'd be really old, yadda yadda yadda. I just want you guys to know that I know.
[ July 06, 2002: Message edited by: Nevfeniel ]
Daniel Telcontar
07-06-2002, 02:53 PM
yes, Tolkien himself alive would be a bless immeasurable. I would have thousands of questions, and he would never be allowed to stop writing about Middle-earth. he is one of the greatest writers of our time. I am glad that Cristopher Tolkien proved himself a worthy son and carried on his father's works. It would be a dream job to have.
akhtene
07-06-2002, 02:56 PM
If Tolkien was still alive I would mob his house, chain him in there, and force him to write about everyone and everything connected to ME.
Anna, you aren't a Steven King fan by chance, or are you? (just kidding smilies/wink.gif smilies/wink.gif )
gollum*elf*pup
07-06-2002, 03:05 PM
that wold be very interesting. hmmm. i'd mob him with questions. i know! we throw a party for him! a coming back to life party! we'd invite everyone! muhahahaha . . smilies/evil.gif
Tigerlily Gamgee
07-06-2002, 03:55 PM
<font color=gold>I would leave him alone, come here, and see what the answers were to all of your questions. The last thing he would want from me is more fan mail. He'd probably live in a cave somewhere to escape people like us!
*Varda*
07-06-2002, 05:40 PM
<font color=white> We could finally find out who (or what) Tom Bombadil is!!!! even if he didn't really know himself... We'd know if balrogs had wings! We'd know all the answers to everything we wanted!...and the Downs would be a much more boring place.
~*Varda Elentari*~
Nevfeniel
07-06-2002, 05:41 PM
I am glad that Cristopher Tolkien proved himself a worthy son and carried on his father's works How old is he, anyways? I've been wondering that for a while.
NazgulNumber10
07-06-2002, 08:12 PM
i just read what akhtene said about the stephan king conection to chaining tolkein and forcing him to write. HAHAHAHA oh man i love that book....(that book is misery to all you non-king fans)
Anna Licumo
07-06-2002, 08:20 PM
Anna, you aren't a Steven King fan by chance, or are you? (just kidding )
How'd ya guess?! smilies/tongue.gif
We could finally find out who (or what) Tom Bombadil is!!!! even if he didn't really know himself... We'd know if balrogs had wings! We'd know all the answers to everything we wanted!...and the Downs would be a much more boring place.
This is true. Still though... What ever would I do with the burning desire to know all if he were still around?
::gets on her geek knees and bows before the towering stack of LotR related books.
Lady_Galadriel
07-06-2002, 10:53 PM
if he were still alive, i also vote we give him a party. (great idea whomever said that allready) a middle earth like party. the only rule would be that everyone who came had to be dressed as someone/something from ME. smilies/biggrin.gif
Anorien
07-06-2002, 10:58 PM
Oh! I would follow him everywhere! He is a total genious!!!!!! I would never leave him alone! I would ask him all my questions about ME. LIke, where he came up with it! Heck, he created a whole world, complete with pple and languages! He IS the author of fantasy! If he were alive, i would be sooooooooooooooo happy! Not too metion, I would want to know what he thought of the movie! smilies/cool.gif
Imperica
07-06-2002, 11:28 PM
I would of liked him to write more about the final battle
Beren87
07-08-2002, 03:21 PM
I would feel very sorry for him with this crowd. He would never get peace.
And by the way, what is Turkish Delight? I read about it in The Chronicles of Narnia, and never knew what it was.
Anorien
07-08-2002, 03:23 PM
Sorry, don't know. hey, i think we should leave poor Tolkien alone. Let him rest in peace (lol) smilies/wink.gif
Daniel Telcontar
07-08-2002, 03:25 PM
Turkish Delight is candy; Filled choclate, if I'm not mistaken.
And Anorien, Tolkien got the idea of ME from a mixture of myths and legends, and the idea of writing England a pre-christian mythology.
The Balrog-Durin's Bane
07-08-2002, 03:31 PM
If Tolkien were still alive I know exactly what I'd have him do(or ask him anyway) No, clearing up these little squabbles isnt on the top of my list, oh no. Id have him complete his languages, make more elvish and such. So we could actually be fluent in elvish. Wouldnt that be just great? You walk around spouting elvish and everyone thinks your crazy?
mark12_30
07-08-2002, 04:02 PM
After reading some of his letters-- the proffessor loved to respond to intelligent questions. I'd buy him a computer, and make sure he had a username / account on The Barrow Downs. Then he could answer whatever posts he saw fit, and edit his own list of buddies and "ignores", and send indignant private messages to whoever mauled him online ("BEHAVE, Downers!" cried the BarrowWight and Mithadan in chorus.)
But he hated typing, so maybe we'd have to "buy" him a typist, and he could dictate his responses. It would have to be somebody like Christopher Tolkien whose company he enjoyed.
Oh, and I'd ***beg*** him to tell us more about Frodo's life in Valinor.
Thinhyandoiel
07-09-2002, 03:28 AM
I would thank him for his gift of Middle-Earth, ask one or two questions regarding some of the "mysteries" of his world, (thanks to this forum, they range to the very very select few), shake his hand, and then demand a tutored lesson in Quenya. smilies/biggrin.gif jk on the last one. But it would be fun, ya?
Cimmerian
07-09-2002, 06:56 AM
If so he wouldn't be able to write anything because he'd be like 100 and some years. by the time he got halfway through a page, he wouldn't remember what he wrote at the top of it.
It's true... memory loss is a natural ailment in 75 percent people over 70 and even higher whne one gets older than that.
I'd give him some fluffy pillows and nice corn soup. smilies/smile.gif
Anna Licumo
07-11-2002, 01:08 PM
And by the way, what is Turkish Delight? I read about it in The Chronicles of Narnia, and never knew what it was.
Turkish delight is a sort of hard jelly, usually fruit flavored and often with nuts. The best kind is the rose flavoured, and that with chocolate around it. Yes, quiet a few have chocolate, but I belive the *traditional* kind does not. (Tho I could be wrong. I'm not exactally an expert; I just really like the flavour. Mmmmm.) smilies/biggrin.gif
Lady_Báin
07-11-2002, 02:07 PM
If he were still alive he would probably be under appreciated and we might not have realized his greatness. You know the saying "you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone" or something like that. Maybe places like this that show devotion and respest for Tolkien would not exist. Though his works did seem sadly unfinished. When i read the first bit of Unfinished Tales i felt emencely sad for the great loss that was his passing. I would ask him if Arwen was in fact like his mother, and how it was to be friends with C. S. Lewis and what they talked about. I would ask what his favourite season was and his favourite verse.
[ July 11, 2002: Message edited by: Lady_Báin ]
Maikacairien
07-29-2002, 07:06 PM
I geuss I would also go to his house and talk to him for hours in front of his fireplace. I'd ask SO many questions! But he would be really old. I just imagine him as a granpa sort of dude who is in his late fifties and gets along with everyone. It would be SO cool to be fluent in Quenya! (sp) I'd also ask him every question about Hobbits! smilies/wink.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/smile.gif smilies/cool.gif
steve
07-29-2002, 07:32 PM
You people crazy?!?! even one of u people got near him ud ask him so many questions hes die of frustration, if he was alive he would probably finish his works without us Stir crazed Lotr Geeks rushing his house every day, i would just bum rush his son and make his son get his father to answer our questions, muahahahaha…
Dimaldaeon
07-30-2002, 12:02 PM
Actually I think that Tolkien is probably up in Heaven having a quiet chuckle at all of us squabbling at Legolas' hair colour and if Balrogs had wings. But if he was alive he'd probably be hiding in some really secluded place trying to avoid people like us.
By the way Turkish Delight is gross. (Ask anyone within a 15 mile rafdius of my house, with the exception of my next door neighbour)
...I would ask the old man if he would suffer an interview, and if he agreed, would arrive bearing an expensive flower arrangement and my best dictophone.
arelendil
07-31-2002, 03:35 AM
But how do you know he's dead okay so his physical body left this plane but spirits like his can't be quenched that easily. i would like to think that by reading his books we bring back a small piece of him! (like fairies and clapping)
the phantom
08-02-2002, 12:19 AM
If Tolkien were alive now he'd probably be screaming
"HELP!! Let me out of this coffin!! HELP!!"
Seriously though, I would ask him to do three things
1) draw a balrog
2) write more stories
3) hook me up with Luthien
Nevfeniel
08-02-2002, 06:33 AM
If Tolkien were still around, there would be a tour of his house or something, and people would be sneaking out every day to try to see and talk to the master himself.
Dark-Caranthir
08-02-2002, 07:23 AM
If Tolkien was still alive I would paradrop through his skylights kidnap him and put him into some sort of cyrogenic freezing chamber until, some new technology becomes available that means you can write books in a couple of seconds, scanning your brain until it knows exactly what you want written. Then force him to write hundreds more ME books, expanding on every subject ever written in any of his books.
Ithaeliel
08-02-2002, 02:59 PM
If Tolkien were alive, you would all ask him the balrog-wings question, the bombadil question, and just about everything else, and if he told you, there would be no more Barrow Downs, because since we knew everything that we wanted to know, there would be nothing to discuss. Therefore it would be a bad thing for Tolkien to come back to life. DON'T YOU GUYS LIKE TO DEBATE THINGS???? Please don't make him come back!
Mithadan
08-02-2002, 03:12 PM
I would offer him my services in seeking a restraining order to prevent all you maniacs (I mean that nicely...I think) from coming within 500 yards of him or attempting to contact him.
obloquy
08-02-2002, 03:30 PM
If Tolkien were alive, you would all ask him the balrog-wings question, the bombadil question, and just about everything else, and if he told you, there would be no more Barrow Downs,
Go look at the Greatest of the Eldar thread, or the numerous "Sauron Was A Huge Eyeball" discussions, and then tell me whether you think anyone would really care what Tolkien said in response to those questions.
Lady_Báin
08-02-2002, 04:12 PM
oh pleeeeez mithadan you would just want him for yourself. restraining order shmastraining shmorder pffffb. hee hee
[ August 02, 2002: Message edited by: Lady_Báin ]
Elrian
08-02-2002, 04:33 PM
He kids you not Lady, it is his proffession! smilies/rolleyes.gif . Course JRR could not resist a few chapters of Tales smilies/wink.gif.
Evisse the Blue
08-03-2002, 05:39 AM
Yep, Dimaldaeon, we and the likes of us would either amuse him to death, or scare him to death. SO, it's good he's dead already. he wouldn't like all this hype about his books.
BTW, what d'you suppose he'd think about the movie?
Nevfeniel
08-03-2002, 07:30 AM
I think he would enjoy the movie. If he didn't, he would be polite and say something like, "It was very interesting to see your approach, Mr. Jackson". But, there would be some parts of the movie that would make him say, "Now wait just a minute, Mr. Jackson!" (Arwen replacing Glorfindel, for example)
Owain son of Urien
08-03-2002, 07:57 AM
smilies/rolleyes.gif Judging by what he did WHEN he was alive, IF he were alive today, he would still be constantly changing the stories. By now, there would be so many different versions, that far from being unnecessary, The Barrow Downs would be EVEN MORE necessary as there would be so much more for everyone to discuss.
He used to say that the biggest drawback to the fame LoTR's brought him, was being rung from the USA by hordes of thoughtless fans, who, not taking into account the time difference, would ring him in the middle of the night to ask a lot of questions. Now, with the W.W.W., if he were still with us, he could be a member of The Barrow Downs and could answer questions posted to him at his convenience. Imagine how great that would have been.
(p.s. love Turkish Delight)
Luinsewiel
08-03-2002, 08:27 PM
If JRR Tolkien was alive today I would ask him to read me the Silmarillion and The Lord Of The Rings. I would probably interupt him a thousand times and ask all kinda of ridiculous questions smilies/evil.gif then I'd ask him (very politly) if he would draw a picture of rivendell for me so I could put it on my wall and memorise every detail smilies/rolleyes.gif This is all providing of course that I could make my way to his house and had the courage to accually talk to him. smilies/eek.gif
Elenna
08-05-2002, 03:31 PM
If Tolkein were still alive, I would spend ridiculous amounts of money to buy a house near his, so I could peek in his window and see if he was wearing fake feet, and really was a hobbit. Or fake ears, and was an elf. Something like that.
And I would have lost all of my pride, because I would be a shameless stalker.
Urwen
04-11-2010, 08:41 AM
I would force him to make Lalaith return to life, to make Numenor arise again with all people who drowned, and to make Daeron,Pharazon,Castamir and Feanor swallow metal poles. Oh,and make Tar-Palantir and his daughter new idols of Arda.;)
Rumil
04-11-2010, 09:12 AM
Hi Urwen, my word, a real blast from the Ancient Downsian past,
I should quote Pippin...
'But I should like to know----' Rumil began.
'Mercy!' cried JRRT. 'If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?'
''The names of the stars, and of all living things, and the whole history of Middle-earth and Over-heaven and of the Sundering Seas,' laughed Rumil. 'Of course! What less?'
deagol
04-12-2010, 07:40 PM
If the Master were alive today I suspect I would leave him be so he could get about the business of writing more stories for us.
Galadriel
04-30-2010, 06:54 AM
Wow, where do I begin? First, I would walk right up to him and give him a BIG SQUISHY HUG! Haha, I've always wanted to do that! He was an adorable little hobbit. Next, I would plonk him down in front of me and have a long, long conversation about his life and what inspired him (I already know all about it, but I want to hear him say it :p). THEN I'd throw a huge party to celebrate his existence...and every Tolkien fan would be invited ^_^ Next, I would show him all these sites and books and songs that were dedicated to him just to let him know how special we think he is :D Oh, and I hope when he sees the movies, he will ignore all the short-cuts and simplifications and see the effort and meaning that went into the award-winners.
Eorl of Rohan
04-30-2010, 07:07 AM
If Tolkien was still alive, I would...
Dream of displacing his wife and marrying him.
Mnemosyne
04-30-2010, 09:07 AM
Dream of displacing his wife and marrying him.
:eek::eek::eek:
Eorl of Rohan
04-30-2010, 09:53 AM
Well, a girl can dream, can't she? :D
Mnemosyne
04-30-2010, 10:01 AM
Yes, and a woman who appreciates the effect that Edith had on Tolkien's mythos can find said dreaming disrespectful to the dead.
Honestly, if Tolkien were still alive, I'd leave him alone. He'd have enough rabid fans to deal with at this point.
Eorl of Rohan
04-30-2010, 12:51 PM
Huh. I was obviously joking, Memo, as was evidenced by the grinning smiley. :(
Like "Lalaith is a Warg" or "Tolkien had pointy ears", y'know, no one actually means a joke for real.
Apparently you took my words a lot more seriously than I intended.
If you took my words as a desecration to Tolkien's memory and took umbrage, then I apologize.
It's not that I don't have a respect for Tolkien or Edith, I was trying to be funny. :confused:
Which I seem to have miserably failed, judging from your hostile reaction to my well-meant joke.
.
Blind Guardian
04-30-2010, 12:57 PM
I would hope he writes more great books! Then I would try to meet him :P
Eorl of Rohan
04-30-2010, 01:05 PM
And I think I'm making myself seem even more a fool by trying to explain why exactly my joke was not meant seriously :confused:
Eeeeh.... I hate it when I am misunderstood and I hate it even more when I offend someone and I can't believe both happened at the same time. :(
Mnemosyne
04-30-2010, 04:35 PM
Eorl, communicating by text is always imperfect and the smiley system can often complicate perceived intent rather than elucidate it. Additionally, I hardly know you, so I don't know what constitutes a "joke" for you or not.
As it is, jokes work solely on perception, a lot of which is based on context. "Lalaith is a Warg" is funny when Eomer of the Rohirrim says it because he's obsessed with Wargs. If I came fresh into the forum with that comment, I wouldn't go, "Funny!" so much as I'd go, "Huh?" Similarly, without any context, "Tolkien had pointy ears" is not funny to me; it's just goofy. (And by the way, the best jokes succeed when there is the tiniest element of truth to them.)
At any rate, even jokes can be disrespectful, and the fact that it's a joke doesn't excuse it entirely. I've always had issues with people fancying 1). people they don't know personally, 2). people in the public eye, 3). dead people, and 4). people who are married. Tolkien happens to fit in all four categories, and it really doesn't help that when I think of him I think of the old guy in tweed. You just happened to hit my squick button.
I am sorry for bruising your feelings--I know that you're still trying to feel your way around the forum, and so I should not have been so "hostile" as you aptly put it.
Yours,
Mnemosyne
ecthelion
05-09-2010, 09:02 AM
Well for starters I would try to get his autograph. And after that I would ask him questions that everyone wants to know such as what happened to the entwives and do balrogs have wings. Then I would ask him to complete the story found in the book of unfinished tales entitled Of Tuor and his Coming to Gondolin. I was so sad when I read it and it only got to where Tuor first looks upon Gondolin.:(
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