Lord of the Pants...

[*Arwen*]

Found this on another message site and thought it hilarious. Add your own! Just replace 'pants' where it's funny.

Boromir: Gondor has no pants. Gondor needs no pants.

Gandalf: When in doubt, Meriadoc Brandybuck, follow your pants.

Sam: Were you in Farmer Maggot's pants again?

One pair of pants to rule them all, etc.

Frodo: I wish the pants had never come to me.

Aragorn: You have my sword...
Legolas: And my pants.

Haldir: Your dwarf breathes so loud we could've shot him in the pants. (Or pantsed him in the dark, but it's the same difference.)

Elrond: I was there the day the strength of pants failed.

Saruman: Sauron's pants are growing stronger.

Me and my sis spend hours putting these toghether because we have nothing else to do all day...
smilies/cool.gif

[gollum*elf*pup]

LOL, those are HILARIOUS!

Gollum : my pantssssssss

Frodo : the pants are getting so heavy, Sam

the ring poem (or pant poem i should say)
One pair of pants to rule them all
One pair of pants to find them
One belt to bring them all
And in the store bind them.

sorry, i'm not very funny. i'm a drunk monkey! MUHAHAHAHAHA!

[Elrian]

There's one like that in the Novices and Newcomers section.Link (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=2&t=000653)

http://www.plauder-smilies.de/kloguck.gif

[Keeper-of-Vilya]

Gimli - Nooooo Not the pants ! !

That's all I can think of right now...

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

"or pantsed him in the dark" That was hilarious.

[Daniel Telcontar]

Lets hunt some pants!!

No one trusts a pair of pants!!

You will be the fellowship of the pants!!

What's this?
This my friend, is pants!
They come in pants? I'm getting one!

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

I am seriously laughing so hard right now!! Legolas25, I thought those were so funny. Same with everyone else's too! I can't think of anything as funy, but I'll come back later.I already know that some people on this website don't like this kinda thing though. I got yelled at by someone!!! Oh well, but post up some more, those were hilarious!!

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

Oh I got some:

See half-brother. This is sharper than thy pants.Try but once more to usurp my pants and the love of my pants and .....crap I forget the rest of the quote. Oh well, you see my point.
And:

Pants you can give me earned or unearned, but the pants I will not take from you of baseborn, nor pants, nor thrall. By the ring of Felagund, that he gave to Barahir my pants in the battlefield of the Pants, my pants has not earned such names from any Elf, be he pants or no.

[*Arwen*]

'Kay here's some more...

Legolas: This is Aragorn, son of Arathorn, heir to the pants of Gondor.

Gandalf: remember, the pants want to be found...

Aragorn to Arwen: You said you would bind your pants to me.

Pippin: Oh, that's nice, ash on my pants!

Merry: That was the biggest pants yet!
Pippin: Let's get another

Sam: Pants! And mighty big ones too! (from the book)

Boromir: I would have followed you my brother, my captain, my pants! (the tearjerker turned funny)

[*Arwen*]

Oh, and from the quote at the top of the page...

Elrond: Behold Isildur's pants!

[gollum*elf*pup]

bilbo : no party-goers, well-wishers, or anyone wearing pants!

gandalf : some deserve pants and others dont. can you give yours to them, frodo?

[Hírilamara]

Methinks Legolas25 has been on TABA....

Oh well, here are some more!

Bilbo: Dwalin, at your pants!
Dwalin: At yours, and your family's!

Galadriel: Nine rings were gifted to the race of men, who above all else desire pants.

Galadriel: It was in this moment, when all else had failed, that Isildur took up his father's pants.

Frodo: How far to the nearest pants?
Merry: Twenty miles.

Butterbur: If you're seeking accomodation, we've got some nice hobbit-sized pants available.

Butterbur: Gandalf...Gandalf....oh yes, I remember, big gray beard and pointy pants.

smilies/biggrin.gif

[*Arwen*]

What's TABA?

[Hírilamara]

There And Back Again

[Aosama, the Wandering Star]

Eowyn: Begone, foul dwimmerlaik, lord of carrion! Begone and leave the pants in peace!

Frodo: I will take the pants, although I do not know the way [to the laundromat...]

Samwise: Your poor pants! And I have nothing to bind it with, nor comfort it. I would have spared him a whole outfit of mine, rather.

[Daniel Telcontar]

This is the one pair of pants, forged by the dark lord Sauron. If he retrieves them he will cover all the lands in a second darkness.

You could have aided me willingly, but you have chosen the way of pants!

[Rose Cotton]

Half-brother in shorts, full brother in pants I will be. Thou shalt wear them and I will too. My no new pants divide us.
-Fingolfin to Feanor

[ May 31, 2002: Message edited by: Rose Cotton ]

[MiaLisa]

"What a pity Bilbo did not stab the vile creature, when he had the pants!"
"Pity? It was Pity that stayed his hand. Pity, and Mercy: not to strike without pants."
"I do not feel any pity for Gollum. He deserves pants."
"Deserves pants! I daresay he does. Many that live deserve pants. And some die that deserve pants. Can you give pants to them? Then be not too eager to deal out pants in the name of justice, fearing for your own pants. Even the wise cannot see all pants."

[junglejoes]

Hahaha..

Pants,pants wherever you may be.I am the Lord of the pants said he.-ok not lotr related but quiet funny I think.

There was Eru,the one,who in pants is called Iluvatar;and he made the first pants,the holy ones...and they were with him before all else was pants.

Then Aule took up a great hammer to smite the pants;and he wept but Iluvatar had compassion on Aule and his pants.

[gollum*elf*pup]

hee hee hee how funny! i can;t htink of any right now. in fact i cant think at all right now. smilies/confused.gif

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

Gollum, I love your picture smilies/biggrin.gif

[ElanorGamgee]

Here's the mad lib with pants:

The pants of Fëanor

Then Fëanor tore a terrible pants. His 456 third cousins twice removed leapt straightway to his side and tore the selfsame pants together, and red as blood shone their drawn shorts in the glare of the torches. They tore a pants which none shall rip, and none should sew, by the name even of Ilúvatar, calling the Everlasting Dark upon them if they kept it not; and Wormtongue they named in witness, and Pippin's mother, and the hallowed mountain of eggs, vowing to pursue with vengeance and hatred to the ends of the World tall Ent, chubby Hobbit, pretty Elf or angry Dwarf as yet unborn, or any creature, plaid or polka dotted, good or evil, that time should bring forth unto the end of days, whoso should smite or scourge or keep a Oliphaunt from their possession.

[ June 03, 2002: Message edited by: ElanorGamgee ]

[gollum*elf*pup]

hee heee that's funny
thanks lothiriel, yrs is cool too. mine is of hte grey havens.
http://home.planet.nl/~kampf011/smilies/clover.gif

[Merry]

Uhhh...Mine might not be very funny but I'll try
Arwen: And to that I hold. I would rather spend one pair of pants with you...than face all the pants of this world alone.


Elrond: So be it. You shall be the Fellowship of the pants.

[Rose Cotton]

LOL!

[Aldagrim Proudfoot]

Bilbo: Never laugh at live pants.

Gollum: What iss he, my pants?

I know I'm not funny.

[Tensen_Vil]

"YOU...

SHALL NOT...

PANTS!!!!!!

[Daniel Telcontar]

This is really fun, but otherwise check out the thread in the bottom about 101 topics that will never be discussed. I laughed so much I had to go to the toilet. smilies/biggrin.gif

[Lindolirian]

"Can we trust the Men of Roha with out pants, do you think?" -Gandalf to Gwaihir

[Aldagrim Proudfoot]

The Road goes ever on and on down from the pants where it began.

[Lady Ancalima]

"Old fool!" he said. "Old fool! These are my pants. Do you not know evil pants when you see them? Die now and curse in vain![without pants]"

These are so funny!!! I am sitting here peeing my 'pants' right now....

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

Hey Derek!!!!!! Welcome to the Downs!!!

Merry, I love the Fellowship of the pants one! Aldagrim, the Gollum one too! My pantsssssss.
I love these! Lady Ancalima, that line was so corny, but I love it! I almost peed in my 'pants' when I read that!

By the way, thanks Dnaiel, I'm off to 101 things Barrow Downers would never post!!.....

[Aldagrim Proudfoot]

Beorn: Little pants is getting fat on bread and honey!

Gollum: No-pants lay on one-pant, two pants sat near on three-pants, four-pants got some.

[Merry]

Boromir: One day our pants will lead us there and the tower pants will take up the call. For the pants of Gondor have returned.

Galadriel: He has fallen in the pants

Gandalf: If you're referring to the incedent with the pants, I was barely involved. All i did was give your uncle a little nudge out of the door.

[Lush]

Get thee gone and take thy due pants!

[Ancalime]

My sister and I were reading this thread and the linked "without pants" thread and came up with a few of our own: smilies/tongue.gif

Sam: Mr. Frodo's not going anywhere without pants!

Galadriel: I give you the pants of Earendil, our most beloved star.

Gandalf: There is only one Lord of the Pants and he does not share power.

Gandalf: I think you should leave the pants behind, Bilbo.

Gandalf: Hold out your pants, Frodo. (It's quite cool . . . )

Frodo: What are they?
Strider: They were once men without pants. . .

Sam: Back, you pants!
(On Weathertop)

Aragorn (after leaving Moria): Legolas, get their pants.
Boromir: Give them pants, for pity's sake!

Bilbo: I am old without pants, Gandalf. I know I don't look it.

Frodo: Bilbo, watch out for the pants!
Bilbo: Pants? Nonsense, there haven't been pants in these parts for a thousand years.

Elrond: The pants must be destroyed!

Elrond: It cannot be destroyed, Gimli son of Gloin, by any pants we here possess.

Legolas: He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn. You owe him your pants.

Gandalf: A wizard is never pantsed, Frodo Baggins, . . .

Galadriel: Will you look into the pants?

Galadriel: I know what it is you saw, for it is also in my pants.

Galadriel: There is hope, while the pants are true.

Celeborn: Where is Gandalf? For I much desire to pants him.

Gatekeeper at Bree: There is talk of pants abroad.

Frodo: We wish to stay at the inn. Our pants are our own.

Okay, we're gonna stop now. We're getting a little too hyper. smilies/biggrin.gif

[Aldagrim Proudfoot]

Ugluk: I am Ugluk. I pants!

Thorin: Bring me the pants.

[merlilot]

Those are funny! I am not inherently funny enough to make some up myself, though

[merlilot]

Ha, thought of one:

If you don't let me in Frodo, I shall blow your door right through your pants...

[Aldagrim Proudfoot]

Glaurung: Your doom lies in you, not your pants.

[NazgulNumber10]

elrond: behold, isildur's pants
"they've cut it down!" cried sam "they've cut down the party pants!" he pointed to the pants in which bilbo made his farewell speech. they were lying lopped and ripped in the field. AS if this was the last straw sam burst out of his pants.
there is a union now between the two pants
pippin looked out from the shelter of gandalf's pants.
smilies/evil.gif

[Amberle]

I've seen the word "pants" so many times i don't remember what it means any more!

[NazgulNumber10]

"i have come" he said"But I do not choose now to do what i came to do. I will not do this deed. The pants are mine!"
smilies/evil.gif

[Ancalime]

We've thought of a few more! smilies/biggrin.gif

Gollum: "They stole it, my pantss, and we wantss it!"

Frodo: "C'mon, Sam. Ask Rosie for her pants!"

Sam: "That man in the pants has done nothing but stare at you since we arrived."

Well, that's all for now, but when we think of more, we'll be sure to post! smilies/smile.gif

[Catherine]

I am laughing sooooo hard I can stop!! Those were extremly funny, it reminds me of Mad-libs. (Marie we make the best ones lol)

[Catherine]

Sam:I dearly love to see some Elf-Pants, Mr. Frodo?

Galadriel:But this, if you will, is the pants of Galadriel.

Galadriel: Did you not say that you wished to see Elf-Pants.

Their not really funny but it was worth a try.

smilies/rolleyes.gif

[ June 30, 2002: Message edited by: Catherine ]

[NazgulNumber10]

pants yesterday, pants today, and blimey, if it don't like pants again tomorrer
smilies/evil.gif

[NazgulNumber10]

you have nice pants for a thieft and a lier
smilies/evil.gif

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

Yes Catherine, we do make up the best ones. The B.Catz agree smilies/tongue.gif Let me look at the quote at the top...

The pants has come! Behold people of the pants and Fathers of Men, the pants has come!

(from the movie)
Pants? Pants are weak.

Are you pantsed? Not nearly pantsed enough.

I've been dropping no pants, Gandalf, honest. (it went something like that. In the book it's different)

There are no pantsdropping in Bag End, I can assure you. (grr, I forget but something like that)

It you want pants, come and claim them.

Let's hunt some pants!

Ugh, mine are so lame, but oh well.

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

"Why do the Lords of the Pants sit there in peace unending, while we must die and go we know not whither, leaving our pants and all that we have made?"

smilies/mad.gif smilies/mad.gif I need to find some better quotes.

[Catherine]

Some Pants draws near I can feel it.


I have to think of more even though mine are stupid.

[Sorcress-Yume]

hobbits were such bad pants..... but wizards dont wear ne!!!^-^ oh well. i am a sorcress and wear pants under my skirt!

[Catherine]

These pants things are so funny I cannot think I am so tired, I should try to go on during the day more often.

[NazgulNumberTen]

go on sam, ask rosie for some pants!

[Cyborg8844]

Gandalf to Frodo: The pants have been following us for several days.

that's all for now

[Eol]

I know this is not related but I read this on a site that did the pants thing for Star Wars

"I find your lack of pants disturing"

here is one to makeup for it

"Here is a strong pants and well guarded; but think not that Silmarils will lie safe in any pants within the realm of the Valar?" Morgoth to Feanor

[Strider_/_Aragorn]

Gimli; Mind the pants!
Gimli; No-one tosses a apair of pants!

Legolas; A dark pair of pants have been threating my mind.

Frodo; I will take the pants though I do not know the way.

Gandalf; Fool of a Took! Next time throw yourself in and we'd be rid of your pants!

[Limlaith]

Oh my Lord, these are hilarious. Twisted and sick, but hilarious. smilies/biggrin.gif I love them. I am new here or I would try to compete with you on inventing new ways to defame lines from the LOTR!

[Rose Cotton]

Um...I did one of the Mad Libs and just put "pants" in all the blanks. It probably dosn't make sence but at least I tried:

The pants of Galadriel

But suddenly the pants went altogether pants, as pants as if a hole had opened in the world of sight, and Frodo looked into emptiness. In the pants abyss there appeared a single pants that slowly grew, until it filled nearly all the pants. So pants was it that Frodo stood rooted, unable to pants or to withdraw his gaze. The pants was rimmed with fire, but was itself pants, pants as a pants, watchful and intent, and the pants slit of its pupil opened on a pit, a window into nothing.

Then the pants began to pants, searching this way and that; and Frodo knew with certainty and horror that among the many things it sought he himself was one. But he also knew it could not pants him - not yet, not unless he willed it. The Ring that hung upon its chain about his pants grew heavy, heavier than a great pants, and his pants was dragged downwards. The pants seemed to be growing pants and curls of pants were rising from the pants. He was pantsing forward.

[orlandoandsaran]

HAHAHAHA!!! LOL!! You guys are awesome!

It began with the making of the pants,
Three were given to the Elves, immortal,
Seven to the drawrves in their halls of pants,
And nine were given to the race of Men who above all desired pants,
For within these pants were bound the strength and will to govern each pantsies.

Well...not really funny though...

[Strider_/_Aragorn]

HAHA
Wicked

[orlandoandsaran]

Thought of somemore:

"What's this? A pair of pants!"
"Lost!! My Pantsss is lost!!"

"Gandalf! Gandalf! More pants, Gandalf!"

No Admittance Except on Pants Buisness

Well, that's all i have!


smilies/wink.gif smilies/wink.gif smilies/wink.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/tongue.gif

[Strider_/_Aragorn]

Cool....I'll think of some more too.

[Strider_/_Aragorn]

Aragorn - If by my life or pants I can save you I will.

Frodo - I wish the pants had never come to me, I wish none of this had happened.

Legolas - We must Hurry! Frodo and Sam will of reached the other side of the pants by now.

Boromir - One does not simply walk into the land of pants. The very fume you breathe is a poison.

That's all I can think of.

[ August 17, 2002: Message edited by: Strider_/_Aragorn ]

[Duramarthiel]

Legolas- A shadow of threat has been growing in my pants.

Galadriel- The world is changed. I tasted it in the water. I smell it in the air. I feel it in my pants.

Arwen- It is mine to give to who I wish. Like my pants.

Boromir- Give the pants to Gondor! Let us use them against him!

Gandalf- Lead them on Aragorn! Pants are no more use here!
[ August 17, 2002: Message edited by: Duramarthiel ]

[ August 17, 2002: Message edited by: Duramarthiel ]

[orlandoandsaran]

Gandalf- What did you hear? Speak!
Sam- N-n-nothing important. That is, I heard a good deal about pants, and a dark lord's pants, and something about the end of the pants, but please Master Gandalf sir don't hurt me, don't turn me into a pair of pants.

Gandalf- Never put it on! For the little agents of the Dark Lord will be drawn to its power. Always remember, Frodo, the pants is trying to get back to it's master. It wasnt to be found(and worn).

Sam- I made a promise, Mr. pants. A promise. Don't you leave Pants, Samwise Gamgee; and I don't mean to. I don't mean to.

That's all i have for now.
smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif

[ August 18, 2002: Message edited by: orlandoandsaran ]

[Susan Delgado]

How about:

Gondor has no pants. Gondor needs no pants.

[luthien-elvenprincess]

Oh my...I laughed til my face hurt at this thread!

[The Saucepan Man]

Funny it may be, but it does not belong here.

Moving to Middle-earth Mirth ...

[Thorongil]

Really funny stuff!
I have some:

Denethor: I will not bow to these pants from the north!

At Helm's Deep: The pants is breached!

Saruman: We must join with them Gandalf, we must join with the pants.

[luthien-elvenprincess]

Good move, Saucepan Man.

I have one:

"So do I, said Merry. "Isengard is a sort of ring of pants, I think, with a flat space inside and an island or pillar or rock in the middle, called Orthanc. Saruman has pants on it. There is a gate, perhaps more than one, in the encircling pants, and I believe there is a stream running through it; it comes out of the pants and flows on across the Gap of Rohan (brand name of the pants??).

The rest of this paragraph in the "Treebeard" chapter would just be too, shall I say 'racy' to print here. But the "pants" application to it is funny. You will just have to find the paragraph in the chapter and read it for yourself! :D

[Maeggaladiel]

Frodo- You've officially been labeled a disturber of the pants!

Gandalf- Ah, the long awaited pants.

Bilbo- The pants go ever on and on...

Eomer- Ride! Ride to pants!

Elrond- These pants cannot be destroyed by any mortal weapon we possess, Panty, son of Gloin.

Smaug- My scales are like tenfold pants!

BEWARE! Sauron has returned, unable to exist in a mortal body, but as a great eye, wreathed in pants...

Anduril, Pants of the West.

GANDALF- Speak pants, and enter.
Pippin- What does that mean?
Gandalf- It's quite simple. If you're pants, you say the password and the door will open!

Saruman- Do you know how pants came into being? They were loincloths once, corrupted by darkness and bad tailoring...

[Saraphim]

I'm going to be uncreative and make a parody of the Barrow-Wight song again:

Cold be hand and heart and pants
Cold be sleep under pants
Never more to wake from stony pants
Never, until the pants fail and the pants are dead

In the black pants the stars shall die
And still on pants here let them lie
Until the Dark Lord lifts his pants
Over dead pants and whithered pants.

Repetitive and boring, but I'm tired and I don't care much. :D

[Nimrothiel]

I started the one on the Star Wars site; that is if you went to starwars.com. Rats, (or should that be "pants?") I wanted to do the Barrow-Wight poem. Oh well, *cracks knuckles* I'll take a crack at this.

Three pairs for the Elven-Kings under the mall
Seven for the Dwarf Lords in their halls of pants
Nine for mortal men doomed to pants
One for the Pants Lord on his dark throne.
In the land of OLD MORDOR where the pants lie.
One pair to rule them all,
One pair to find them,
One pair to bring them all,
and by a belt bind them.
In the land of OLD MORDOR where the pants lie.

[Hama Of The Riddermark]

"Bilbo found it...in Gollum's pants..."

"You have entered the pants of the lady of you wood, you cannot go back now."

"There may be a day when the pants of men fail, and we forsake our pants!"

"I'm sick of this, nothing but mouldy pants for three stinking days!"

"Whether by the sword or by the slow decay of time, Aragorn will die, and there will be no pants for you."

"I looked into your future, and I saw pants."

"Pants! Pants on wings!"

"Tom Bombadil has his pants to attend to, and Goldberry is waiting."

"It's Saruman's pants!"

"Do I not also have your pants, my daughter?"

"Nasssssty tricksssssy pantsssss."

"If we let him go he'll throttle us in our pants!"

"You will lead us to the black pants!"

"The pants of Gondor are lit! We must ride to Gondor's pants!"

I could go on, but I won't...

[Lathriel]

Bilbo: but things are meant to endure in the shire, there is always been a pants living under the hill at bag end.

Witchking of Angmar: No pants can slay me

Kinda lame but I wanted to try my hand at it

[Sapphire_Flame]

:D :D :D

Aragorn: By nightfall these pants will be swarming with orcs!

Gandalf: The writing, which at first was as clear as red flame, has all but disappeared, a secret now that only pants can tell.

Butterbur: Gandalf? Gandalf? Ohhh yes! I remember, elderly chap, big gray beard, pointy pants. Not seen him for six months.

Arwen: You are Isildur's heir, not Isildur himself. You are not bound to his pants.
Aragorn: The same blood flows in my pants. The same weakness.

Elrond: You have only one choice.... It must be taken deep into Mordor and cast back into the fiery pants from whence it came.

Gandalf: No Gimli, I would not take the roads through Moria unless I had no other pants.

Saruman: Do you know how orcs first came into being? They were pants once...

Aragorn: I swore an oath to protect you.
Frodo: Can you protect me from your pants?

Eomer (to Grima): Too long have you watched my sister. Too long have you haunted her pants.

Aragorn: It is an army bred for a single purpose: to destroy the pants of men.

Frodo: What food do we have left?
Sam: Pants. And oh look...MORE pants!

Manathor: You know the laws of our country. The laws of your father. If you let them go, your pants will be forfeit.

Abedithon le,

~*~Aranel~*~

[Lady Snickerdoodle]

Bilbo: And there I was... At the pants of three monstrous trolls!!!

hmm. I just got up to get dessert,(pie) and being the nice person that i am, I called upstairs to offer my brother some.
"Hey, Isaac, did you want some pants too?"
he stared at me like i was crazy until i figured it out a minute later...

hehe... laughing too hard to think up more, I'll come back later...

[Nimrothiel]

*Council of Elrond; Gimli has just attempted to destroy the One Pair of Pants*

Elrond: "These pants cannot be destroyed by any means that we here posses, master Gimli. Not even scissors will cut this pair. They must be cast into the fiery textile factory from whence they came."

Here's a few new chapter titles from "The Hobbit" and "The Lord of the Rings":

"Out of the Frying-Pan and Into the Pants"

"A Knife in the Pants"

"Riddles in the Pants" or "Pants in the Dark"

"A Short-Cut to Pants"

"A Long-Expected Pants"

"An Unexpected Pants"

"The Long Pants"

Brain meltdown; too much to do with exams coming up. :p

[Hama Of The Riddermark]

Aragorn: The same blood flows in my pants. The same weakness.

Never knew Aragorn had that problem...but with Liv Tyler for his girlfriend, can you really blame him?

[Maeggaladiel]

"Overhill and Underpants."

"If you would just LEND me the pants... All I ask for is the strength to defend my pants!"

"Pants has come to Rohan."

"I am no man! You look upon pants!!"

"Surrender the pants, she-elf!" (That's from the Peter Pantson film, The Lord of the Pants)

Aragorn-"You have my sword"
Legolas-"And my bow."
Gimli- "And my pants!"

"The Pants go ever on and on...."

"We wantss it! Our Pantsssessss!!!" (That actually makes sense, coming from Gollum. I mean, him being in a loincloth for so long and all. The poor little blighter just wants his pants back.)

"Three Pants for elves who nance beneath the sky,
Seven for the dwarf lords in their fashion shows,
Nine Pants for mortal men, doomed to dye (their hair, that is)
One pair for the Dark Lord who wears them low. (shudder)
One pair to rule them all, One pair to find them
One pair to let out their seams and in the darkness bind them.
In the land of Mordor where the bellbottoms lie."

Okay, that was funny until the end of the first line. I'd better shut up now.
~Maeg of the Pants

[Lady Snickerdoodle]

And into these pants, he poured his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate all life.

One by one, the free pants in Middle-Earth fell to the power of the Ring.

The Ring came to the creature Gollum, who took it deep into the pants of the Misty Mountains.

hobbits at bilbo's party: Pants, Bilbo, pants!

Bilbo: Alas, eleventy-one years is far too short a time to live in such excellent and admirable pants.
or
I've put the pants off for far too long.
or
I regret to announce that these are the pants.
and
You will keep some pants on Frodo, won't you?

Merry: You're supposed to stick it in the pants!
Pippin: It is in the pants!

hehe. i'll stop before it gets too nasty.

[Saraphim]

Lady Snickerdoodle! I love the sig!

Anyway...

The pants go ever on and on, down from the waistline where they began...

I will take the Ring to Mordor... though, I do not have my pants.

[Sapphire_Flame]

Gandalf:They are not all accounted for, the lost Seeing Pants. We do not know who else may be watching!

Frodo: Underpants. My name is Underpants.

Pink Eye: The trees are strong my Lord. Their pants go deep.
Saruman: Rip them all down.

Saruman: (to Gandalf) Embrace the power of the Ring, or embrace your own pants!

Boromir: The shards of Narsil! The blade that cut the ring from Saruon's pants!

Gimli: I will be dead before I see the ring in the pants of an Elf!

Aragorn: I suggest you take some rest and recover your pants, Master Dwarf.

Aragorn: I do not know what strength lies within my blood, but I swear to you I will not let the white pants fall.

Abedithon le,

~*~Aranel~*~

[Lady Snickerdoodle]

I will take the Ring to Mordor... though, I do not have my pants. :D that induced a giggle... and i think someone used my sig in this thread, subbing pants for pizza... Made me look twice anyway.

Legolas: Have you learned nothing of the pants of dwarves? (has this one been used already???)

[ElenCala Isil]

To pants other trousers no doubt appear different.
Or to shorts. But Skirts have not been our study.
We have other business.

and one of my personal favourites:

I have never been out of my own pants before. And if I had known what the world outside was like, I don't think I should have had the heart to leave them.

[Saraphim]

I have decided that this thread is the funniest peice of work ever to hit the Downs.

Some from the Silmarilion:

"The doom lies in yourself, not in your pants."

"For little price do elven-kings sell thier pants..."

[Hama Of The Riddermark]

"I tell you. There's a great fighter about, one of those bloody-handed Elves, or one of the filthy pants."

[Sparticus]

Sam: Its me Mr. Frodo your Pants

[Maeggaladiel]

"Pants! Pants on wings!"

Or maybe it should be "Wraiths! Wraiths in Pants!!"

"Pray Aragorn remember the words of the Seer, and the Pants of the Dead"

"Instead of a Dark Lord, you would have Pants! Not evil, but beautiful and terrible as the Night! All shall love me and all shall wear me!"

[Hama Of The Riddermark]

"Then who would you take up with? A fat inkeeper who only remembers his own pants because people shout it at him all day?"

"O woe-begotten spirit, fall now into dark pants and forget for a while the dreadful doom of life."

[ElenCala Isil]

Saw this quote on the lovely er.. top o' the forum, and thought it would be hilarious as an LotP quote:

"Pants you can give me earned or unearned; but the skirts I will not take from you of baseborn, nor dresses, nor shorts. By the trousers of Felagund, that he gave to Barahir my father on the Kilt of the North, my pants have not earned such names from any Elf, be he king or no."

[Maeggaladiel]

"Behold! Isildur's Pants!"

"There is nothing left for you here but pants."

"...And his pants are yellow!" (See, I include Tom Bombadil, unlike certain directors we all know...)

"You keep nasssty pantss!"

[Saraphim]

That settles it! Shorts make delays, but pants make longer ones!

You cannot enter here. Go back to the abyss prepared for you! Go back! Fall into the nothingness that awaits you and your pants.

You shall not pants me! I am the servant of the sacred pants, weilder of the pants of Anor. The dark pants will not avial you, pants of Udun. You shall not pants me!
~
Bit lame, but whatever. :smokin:

[Nimrothiel]

Hama of the Riddermark, that was slightly disturbing. :eek: Ummm, let me think for a minute...aha!

*party scene; Sam at table drinking, Frodo comes over*

Frodo: "Come on Sam, ask Rosie for a pants!"

Sam: "Ah, I think I'll just pants another ale."

Frodo: "Oh no you won't, go pants!"

Hmm, slightly confusing and awkward, but what do I care; it's the last day of school and I graduate tomorrow! :D

[THE Ka]

'Kay here's some more...

Legolas: This is Aragorn, son of Arathorn, heir to the pants of Gondor.

Gandalf: remember, the pants want to be found...

Aragorn to Arwen: You said you would bind your pants to me.

Pippin: Oh, that's nice, ash on my pants!

Merry: That was the biggest pants yet!
Pippin: Let's get another

Sam: Pants! And mighty big ones too! (from the book)

Boromir: I would have followed you my brother, my captain, my pants! (the tearjerker turned funny)

TEARJERKER TURNED FUNNY!? HOW DARE YOU MAKE FUN OF BOROMIR!!! FEEL THE WRATH OF THE KA! ( don't wet your pants just yet, i'm only kiddin')

okay, let me have a go:

As we all know, ( or only MAD magazine knows) Michael Flatley is known as the lord of the pants... so here's my skitt...

by the way, michael is going to be Frodo...

Boromir: "Why are you so unfriendly?" "i am a true man, neither thief nor tracker. I need your pants for tonight at the Ka's big disco spin down; but i give you my word that i do not desire to keep it. Will you not at least let me make trial of my plan? THE Ka's going to be there and so is Gandalf Goldmember. Lend me the pants!"

michael: "No no!"

boromir: "it is by our own folly that the Enemie's disco beats us!"

[skaterhobbit13]

frodo=nothing ever dampens your pants does it sam. :D

[Kransha]

Well, seeing as how this thread 'exists,' I might as well contribute.

Bergil, Guard of the Citapants - "I'll wager I could stand you on your head or lay you on your pants."

Gurthang (the sword-pants) - "Yea, I will wear thy pants gladly, that so I may forget the pants of Beleg my master, and the pants of Brandir slain unjustly. I will slay thee swiftly."

Gandalf the Pants - "If you don't let me in Frodo, I shall blow your pants right down your hole and out through the hill." (that was a wee bit innapropriate)

The Great Goblin of Pantsarebad - "Murderers and elf pants! Slash them! Beat them! Bite them! Gnash them! Take them away to dark pants filled with snakes, and never let them see the light again!"

Saruman of the Many Pants - "And now, what pants will bear you back across so wide a sea? It will be grey pants, and full of ghosts."

Tulkas - "May! Let us make pants swiftly! Have we not rested from strife overlong, and are not our pants now renewed? Shall one alone make pants with us forever?"

Gandalf the Pants - "You cannot pass. I am a servant of the Secret Pants, wielder of the pants of Anor. You cannot pass. The dark pants will not avail you, pants of Udun."

Barliman Butterbur, Keeper of the Pantsing Pony - "There was too much of the Mr. underhill to go vanishing into thin pants; or thick pants as is more likely in this room."

[Nimrothiel]

Kransha, that was brilliant; however, might I make a slight correction to your Gurthang one? "I will pants thee swiftly" sounds a bit funnier. Hmm, I guess I should have thought of something to post. Oh well, I'm on summer vacation so I don't really care too much. ;)

[Lathriel]

(Lathriel's friend)

Sam: Look, Mr. Frodo! Olipants!

Aragorn(to dead Boromir): Be in pants.

Gimli: Never toss a dwarf's pants!

Gandalf(to balrog): YOU! HAVE MY! PANTS!

(Lathriel)

Sam: Well, I'm pants!

Gandalf the Pants

This is the light of Aerendil our most beloved pants.

[Nimrothiel]

Names are always fun to do, for example:

Pants the Grey
Pants Bombadillo
The Pants of the Dead or The Paths of the Pants
Pants Undomiel
The Dark Pants (aka Sauron)
The Pants-Wight or The Barrow-Pants

That's enough for now. (As you will doubtless gather from my new signature, I happen to be a Harry Potter fan and finished reading book five for the tenth time. This does not affect my obsession with LotR which far surpasses my obsession with HP. Wish Rowling would hurry up with the sixth book though...honestly, that woman drives me mad; killing off Sirius, keeping her fans waiting for years for the next book...) :mad:

[Audreidi]

All that are pants do not glitter,
Not all those who buy pants are lost;
The pants that are strong do not wrinkle,
Deep pants are bought with a cost.

From the ashes some pants shall be woken,
Trousers from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be hems that were broken:
The pantless again shall be king.

Heehee...this is great...I believe I visited the original site, though I've tried going on again and I think it's down now. Fun...

Hey, lookit that, a fellow Monty Python fan! (waves)

[Saraphim]

Monty Python is the king of humor.

Anyway, going with the naming motif:

Huan the pants
Glorfindel the Pants-slayer
Erestor, chief pants of Elrond
Elrond, Half-pants
Earendel, giver of pants to the people of Middle-Earth

This thread just goes to show that something simple can be so gosh darn funny. I mean, we wear pants every day, for crying out loud. Or at least, most of us do. *shifty eyes*

[Nimrothiel]

Audreidi, that was brilliant! :D

Switching to names of places:

The Lonely Pants or The Pants Mountain (Hmmm, that makes sense if you've read 'Durin's Pants;' you haven't? Well I simply must post it for your benefit; it's from the original thread and I don't remember who wrote it, but I love it.) :D

Without further ado and lengthy sentences, I give you...

Durin's Pants

The pants were young, their contents green,
no stain yet in the pants was seen,
no pants were laid on skin or bone,
when Durin woke and walked alone.

He ate the tasteless beasts and plants;
he tried on yet unsoiled pants;
he squatted down by Mirrormere,
and saw a growing stain appear,
as waste from inside him he passed,
it splashed down out from his @ss.

The pants were fair, their wearer tall,
in Elder Days before the fall
of mighty turds in (dududoz)*
and Calvin Klein, who now because
of reeking stench have passed away:
the pants were fair in Durin's day.

A king he was on dirty loo,
in halls which smelled of rancid poo,
with streaky brown and yellow floor,
and piles of pants around the doo.
The reek of crap and sh*t and dirt,
the nostrils of all the people hurt;
uncoverable by fine perfume,
it stank forever in that room.

There urine on the water plopped,
there bottoms bared as pants were dropped:
there forged were pants, and down flowed wee;
a raging torrent was set free.
There boxers, briefs, and underwear,
and pants were sewn with fabric fair,
piles of pants upon the floor,
this underwear was laid in store.
Unshrinking then were urine flows;
beneath the mountain odour rose:
the parpers parped the gases sang,
and all the toilet flushes rang.

The fabric's worn, the pants are old,
the toilet seat is ashen cold;
no fart is smelled no feeces fall;
the darkness dwells in Durin's hall;
the seat is down upon his loo,
in Moria, in Khazad-Poo.
But still the sunken pants appear,
in brown and windless Mirrormere.
There lie his pants in darkness deep,
till Durin wakes again from sleep.

*You try finding a brand name of pants that rhymes with "because!" Some of the "-eds" should be accented; unfortunately my computer is incapable of this function. :o

[Quirkette]

Words of wisdom from movie Sam: "That was for Frodo...and this is for the Shire! And this is for my old pants!"

"Not if I pants you first!"

"We'd better get you some clothes. You can't go on in naught but your pants."

"If ever I was to pants somebody, it would have been her. It would have been her."

[Lady of the Pants]

As Lady of the Pants, I have something to contribute to this thread. I agree that J.K. Rowling is a git for killing off Sirius. But, she is still my favorite author ( next to Tolkien, of course! ) and I look forward to reading the sixth Harry Potter book when it comes out...in a blue moon. I should get started with my Pants business before I get mauled by the other members of the site!

Orc: What about their pants? They don't need those!

Denethor: You will not take my pants from me!

That's all I can think of now. The good ones were already taken. Oh, and I found
Durin's Pants to be very disturbing and funny. Signing off!

~Lady of the Pants (Hey, there has to be more than four major female roles in LotR. Tolkien most likely wasn't a supporter of women's rights.*sniff,sniff*

[Lady of the Pants]

I just got finished watching RotK and came up with something.

Frodo: I am naked in the dark. There's-there's nothing. No pants between me in the wheel of fire.

It's probably not funny, but it's all that I can come up with for now.

[Orcrist]

Gandalf: There is only one Lord of the Pants. Only one who can bend them to his will. And he does not share pants(Or at least we hope he doesn't)

Gandalf: I am the servant of the Secret Fire, weilder of the Pants of Anor.

Gandalf: Fool of a Took. Throw your pants in next time and rid us of your stupidity.

Gandalf: Bilbo Baggins. Do not take me for some conjuror of cheap pants.

Theoden: Brace your pants.

Aragorn: Let the pants of the Black Land come forth.

THis thread is awesome.

[Audreidi]

"We are the fighting Pants! We slew the great warrior. We took the prisoners. We are the servants of Saruman the Wise, the White Trousers: the Trousers that give us pants to eat..."

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I am fully amazed that I never read this thread before. Absolutely hilarious [and terrifying and just plain weird... ;) ] My brothers and I were sitting here reading them aloud (in the actors' voices, of course), and falling over laughing.

One Ring to rule the pants
One Ring to find them
One Ring to take the pants
And from your waist unbind them.

Sad, I know, yet... oddly humorous.

We don't want anymore visitors, well-wishers, or pantsless relations!

[ElenCala Isil]

Well, why not?

There is an inn, a merry-old inn
Beneath an old grey hill,
And there they sew a seam so fine
That the man in the moon himself found time
To come and get his pants hemmed.

The ostler has some tipsy pants
Spawned from a five-stringed fiddle;
And up and down he runs in those pants,
Now climbing high, or down with ants,
Now walking in the middle.

The landlord keeps his little skirt
He ought be mighty fond of jokes;
When there's good pants among the guests,
He turns a pleat to all the jests
And gags until he chokes.

They also keep a bunch of shorts
They’re fit for any queen;
But trousers turn her head like ale,
And make her wave her braided tail,
In hope those pants will be green.

And O! the rows of silver needles
And the store of silver spools!
For Slacks there is a special pair,
And these they must thread up with care
On Saturday afternoons.

The Man in the Moon had pockets run deep,
And his pants began to wail;
A needle and spool on the table danced,
The shorts in the garden madly pranced,
And the little skirt chased his tail.

The Man in the Moon took another pair,
And then rolled beneath his pants;
And there he dozed and dreamed of pants,
Till in the pants the stars were pale,
And pants were in the air.

Then the ostler said to his tipsy pants:
'The white pants of the Moon,
They wrinkle and tear into silver bits;
But their master's been and pantsed his wits,
And the Slacks’ll be rising soon!'

So the pants spawned from fiddle played hey-diddle-diddle,
A jig that would wake the thread:
He threaded and hemmed and quickened the tune,
While the seamstress shook the Man in the Moon:
'Here are your pants!' she said.

They pantsed the Man slowly up the hill,
And bundled his pants into the Moon,
While fine threads galloped up in rear,
Of those pants that were like to fit a deer,
And a needle ran up with the spool.

Now quicker the needle went deedle-dum-diddle,
The pants began to roar,
The shorts and the trousers stood on their pants;
The guests all bounded from their pants,
And danced upon the floor.

With a ping and a pong the fine thread broke!
The pants jumped over the Moon,
And the little skirt laughed to see such pants,
And the Saturday needle went off at a run
With the silver Sunday spool.

The round Moon rolled behind his pants,
As the Slacks, they raised their legs.
They hardly believed their fiery seams;
For though it was day, to them it seemed
They all forgot their pants!

[Nimrothiel]

Roflmao!!!! :D Absolutely brilliant!!! I'm assuming that was an original; and if so I'm extremely jealous.