great things we have learnt...

[eleanor_niphredil]

There are many great and meaningful things that we have learnt from watching lOTR:

a) no matter what dangers they face, hobbits will always escape.
b) Whenever they cant, there will be a nearby eagle more than willing to swoop in to their rescue.
c) No matter how many times an orc cuts at Aragorn, he will not die.
d)Most orcs, no matter how big, will die on the first stab/punch/shot ect
e)The characters with the most wimpy looking muscels are always the most deadly.
f) if you are an elf, your hair will not get messed up, not even in the depths of Moria.
g) members of the fellowship do not need to pee.

Any more?

[Horse-Maiden of the Shire]

Things we have learnt:
-No matter what happens to him, Gandalf always escapes
-Even though Aragorn and Legolas never wear armor, they almost never get all cut up and die (sorry i kinda stole ur idea)
-Whenever Frodo runs into danger, he always manages to look like he is about to pee himself in fear

[Galenfea of Mirkwood.]

I've seen a list like this before on another site but they forgot one very obvious one: All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost,
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

I think threads like this one are very cool though. smilies/smile.gif

[LePetitChoux]

This is kinda like your one, that, although the Uruk-Hais' armour is weak at the armpit and at the neck, no matter where you hit them, they will die. Unless they are carrying a torch full of Gunpowder.
If there is a red sunrise, then we probably just saw blood being spilt.
The Nazgul need bird-parking lessons.

[eleanor_niphredil]

h) no matter how long or complicated a journey is, there will be no need to take a map.

[Nari]

legolas will stay perfectly clean and in order, but when someone in the fellowship dies... legolas gets dirt on his face and looks sadly off into the distance

[Gorwingel]

Legolas will never ever get a tangle, in his long blonde hair.
Aragorn will always be dirty, no matter what.

[Lindril Arvilya]

Aragorn will only ever get cut on the arm.
If an Elf is wounded, it will look pretty, such as Arwen's little scratch. Note that you do not see blood on Haldir.
Short people are funny, especially if they're ugly too. Sorry. I'm just joking about that one. Gimli is basically there for comic relief though.

[eleanor_niphredil]

Short people are funny, especially if they're ugly too.

No wonder my comedy routine didnt work out! smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/tongue.gif smilies/biggrin.gif

[Farrehn]

Whenever Frodo is running away he always trips and falls!

When you are released from Saruman's hold on you, you'll get 40 years younger looking, a chave and cleaner vision!

Eowyn's eyes never stop bulging, even when she cries!

smilies/eek.gif smilies/eek.gif

[The Saucepan Man]

- When your stabbed by a Mordor blade, you need Elvis medicine (sorry, I nicked that from another thread, but it had me in fits when I watched that part in FotR again).

- If you are one of the Haradrrim, don't volunteer to ride on top of the Oliphaunt ... or to march anywhere near it.

smilies/wink.gif

[Rose Cotton]

Where ever there is Frodo, Sam is not to far away.

Where ever there is Merry, Pippin is not far away.

Where ever there is the one Ring, Gollum is not far away.

Legolas NEVER runs out of arrows.

[ElentariGreenleaf]

gimli has an endless suply of axes! He can throw them away and just get another one off his back. Hay... maybe they're boomerang axes..... smilies/rolleyes.gif

[Anything but Arwen]

Orcs are always a) easy to kill and b) they can NEVER hit their mark, yet hobbits manage to survive several battles, despite lack of armour and brains....sorry if thats similar, but its annoying....

[The Saucepan Man]

- Merry and Pippin will be able to fight their way happily through hordes of orcs as long as Boromir remains standing .. but as soon as he gets an arrow in him, they will be picked up by the first orc they attack.

[Morgul Queen]

That its OK to steal other peoples lines for comic effect
that even though Balrogs have wings they can't fly (though personally I fall on the No Wings side of the Debate) smilies/mad.gif

[eleanor_niphredil]

Gandalf has a hold over physics and falls much faster than a balrog.

[LePetitChoux]

The only way to kill a Balrog is to send him toppling to his death by hitting him with a sword, although apparently "Swords are of no more use".

[Morgul Queen]

What with the release of TTT extended,, let's revive this thread with...Eowyn the Bug-eyed can NOT cook! (Poor Aragorn smilies/biggrin.gif )

Elrond never smiles....

...and....

Even though Aragorn falls into a river he's still as dirty when he comes OUT as when he went IN!!!

[Elentári_O_Most_Mighty_1]

Hehehe, you've revived it! Nope, I think Aragorn comes out MORE dirty...and that has to be REALLY dirty, because Criag Parker says the reason Haldir is unwilling to hug Aragorn is because he is so dirty and smelly.

On the commentary Brad Dourif said that the Dead Marshes were based on Tolkien's experiences in the First World War...a shell would explode, leaving a crater with dead bodies in (well those that were still intact- anyone read Birdsong?), and water would fill up the craters...and often the eyes would still be open...

[Elentári_O_Most_Mighty_1]

Gandalf has a hold over physics and falls much faster than a balrog. I think this is because Gandy has less air resistance...but I'm not sure.

If you're a wizard, you can sit on a being of flame and not get burnt.

If you are in Middle-earth, a horse can gallop down an almost vertical slope into a barrage of spears without turning into a kebab.

I didn't think that the Hobbits were QUITE so small as to be able to run throught the legs of a horse without having to stoop...was it just me, or did the proportions of height between the Hobbits and the Dwarves and the Big Folk keep changing? Like at Helm's Deep...I didn't think Gimli was so short as to be unable to see over the battlements...but hey, it was funny. smilies/biggrin.gif

[Failivrin]

Aragorn is so busy fighting off nasty looking things that he never has time to wash his hands, even though seemingly he DOES have time to smoke a pipe.

evil people have little or no eyebrows.

Elvish swords have a tendency to glow, whether it is blue because of orcs, with lightning to smite the balrog or with unreal looking fire because Gandalf just turned up.

HOWEVER; no one Elvish sword can glow for more than one purpose.

small people always prevail.

[Elennar Starfire]

Elves take forever to grow up. I mean, Legolas shieldboarding down stairs? Arwen wearing those...um...revealing dresses? (seriously, the one she wears in TTT is nearly transparent!) Teenagers! smilies/rolleyes.gif

[Lindril Arvilya]

No matter what happens in the book, Peter Jackson has the final say.

[Luthien_ Tinuviel]

-All dwarves have beards.
-No elves or hobbits have beards.
-When you have the Ring, your eyes get buggy.
-Rosie Cotton never frowns.
-All major heroic human characters have beards.

(Today's my day for being oddly obsessed with facial hair).

[Lady Snickerdoodle]

The only way to kill a Balrog is to send him toppling to his death by hitting him with a sword, although apparently "Swords are of no more use". smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif

1.) there's only one way to prepare a brace of conies
2.)Short cuts make delays, but inns make longer ones
3.)Even with a needle pointy nose, Eomer can still fit his face under a Rohirrim helmet nosepiece
4.) White steeds are faster than black steeds (I say steeds because the wraiths aren't always on horses)

[Daisy Brambleburr]

-If an elves hair is blonde then his eyebrows will defy logic and be black.
-Frodo will never learn that falling on his butt will *not* always enable him to esacpe.
-PJ can do anything he likes to Aragorn (throw him off a cliff...have him battle hundreds of Uruk-Hai single handed)simply because the third book is called the RETURN of the King.

[Lindril Arvilya]

Frodo will never learn that falling on his butt will *not* always enable him to esacpe.

Oh... but he can always try....

Lindril (disappointed) Arvilya

[Everdawn]

If you are in Middle-earth, a horse can gallop down an almost vertical slope
Yeah, i remember watching that and thinking "You know? You wouldnt want your horse to stumble"

**No matter how screwed you are Aragorn will always save the day.

**The bad guy is always the most sinister looking...>> Roahn> a greasy dark dude among blonde people> do the math.

** Arwen will always make an appearance when she is not needed.

** Lord Elrond is never happy, not even does he smile, but goes around predicting impending doom.

[Lady Snickerdoodle]

PJ can do anything he likes to Aragorn (throw him off a cliff...have him battle hundreds of Uruk-Hai single handed)simply because the third book is called the RETURN of the King.
smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif
And Aragorn can also afford to go around with yucky greasy hair because he's the king and always saves everyone's butt (most often Frodo's) so no one argues with him.

[Luthien_ Tinuviel]

1.) there's only one way to prepare a brace of conies

smilies/biggrin.gif
-Gollum is hopeless
-The closer you are to danger, the farther you are from harm
-Need brooks no delay, yet late is better than never
-Boromir is always cleaner than Aragorn, even though they have the same haircut, the same type of beard, and fight in the same battles with the same type of weapon.

[Aredhel Ar-Feiniel]

**Aragorn is always right.
** Sam Will always baby Frodo.

[Finwe]

- The clean humans die first.
- Never underestimate short people.

[Daisy Brambleburr]

-Elves are the most pessimistic creatures in the whole entire universe.

You know what I mean, 'the quest will claim his life', 'we shall not meet again', 'you're all going to diiiieeeeee' etc etc.

[Lady Snickerdoodle]

hahaha! you're right Daisy! but sooner or later they get so told by the other people.

I saw the extended FOTR in a theater last night it was really good!!!! Gimli and Legolas got to have more vocal parts, instead of mostly action. also, i was snickering at all the parts which were mentioned here, even if they weren't really funny... people were kind of scared by my random fits of laughter...

frodo- *stumbles and falls and does the weird scooting thingy backwards as the wraith advances*
me- muahahaha!!!
person behind me- *to my dad* sir, can you control your daughter, PLEASE.

<font size=1 color=339966>[ 4:13 PM December 08, 2003: Message edited by: Lady Snickerdoodle ]

[Daisy Brambleburr]

- If things start to look bad, the Elves will sail off at the drop of a hat.

-Making Pippin eat the Ring is *never* an option.

-Everyone always ignores Legolas. 'A shadow and a threat has been...' 'shut up'. 'We should not lin...' 'I thought I told you to shut up.'

[Finwe]

- Always listen to the Elf. If they're being pessimistic, they've got a damn good reason!

[Morgul Queen]

-Grima stinks of horse

-Eowyn likes older Men

-Aragorn attracts dirt through a genetic fault (heads up, Jasta)

-Even though most Elves are supposed to be Dark-haired, about 15/16ths of them are blonde. Seriously, I've only seen about 5 dark-haired Elves so far...in all the movies!

-Gandalf has 'Stars in his Eyes'. Ooooh, Mental Image.
::Gandalf:: '...And she's buying a starway to heaven...'
The pain, the PAIN!!!! *Bangs head against computer desk*

[Miriel Undomiel]

~If someone offers you a plain golden ring, you need to think twice before you make up your mind.

~If you're nice to Frodo, he might offer you the Ring.

~A wizard should know better...

[Fíriel of Ao Tea Roa]

Great things I have learnt..

a hobbit-hole means comfort

do not accept any inscribed jewellery from grey cloaky beings

take enough spices for that darn lembas

if the secret of a Dwarf door is lost, not even their maker can open it

the correct sentence when one is in Osgiliath as a Hobbit is "we don't belong here, Mr. Frodo"


I also learnt to:

be more trusty towards my armour as the chainmail WILL float

always set my horse free with halter on, as it will come back anyway

there will be no time to eat while marching to Rivendell

there will be never time to eat in battle

there will be plenty of food at Isengard though

most Hobbits will cheer me up

stay behind that weird Ranger, he is a good fighter though clumsy with his toes

stay away from the gardener, for he is fat but dangerous

practice my Elvish as I will need it in battle


And to always log my miles!

[Everdawn]

-Everyone always ignores Legolas. 'A shadow and a threat has been...' 'shut up'. 'We should not lin...' 'I thought I told you to shut up.'

Poor Legsie, he will surely need a shrink after the War is over...

Great Things we have learnt also are that

** Elves and Dwarves in happy moods when together are quite humerous.

** No matter where Legolas should journey he always always has prefect hair, if only we should all be so lucky.

** PJ may do what he likes and where he likes in these movies.

** The bulk of Rohirrim horsemen are medically challenged as they cannot tell when one is alive or dead, for that a Prince must come and make sure they dont bury someone (not mentioning any names: Éowyn) alive.

** Same goes for the Servants of Denethor (Apart form the prince coming bit)

[Finwe]

- When a Hobbit gives up the last of his pipeweed to his friend, you know that said friend is truly in dire straits (OR is a tobacco addict! smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif)

- Elves' hair doesn't grow in strands like Human hair. It grows in flat bunches that look like extensions, and flaps around while they fight.

- Horses can charge down an 80 degree slope while carrying LOTS of Men in armor, but never trip.

- Bad guys drop their weapons at the sight of bright, shiny, white Gandalf.

- Men are stupid. They'll keep firing useless arrows at the extremely thick siege engines until a wizard tells them to fire at the un-armored (un-armored, mind you!) Trolls, pushing said siege engines.

- Men love pointy things. Just look at the expression on Aragorn's face when he gets Anduril. "OOOOOOO...... Pointyyyy!!!!!!!"

[Luthien_ Tinuviel]

- Men love pointy things. Just look at the expression on Aragorn's face when he gets Anduril. "OOOOOOO...... Pointyyyy!!!!!!!"


Or when he gets his knife from Celeborn.... Or hobbits, for that matter, when they get their various swords and knives..... Or Boromir, when he sees the Shards of Narsil and must test the sharpness...

-Hobbits survive on burning pyres, but humans don't.

-Injured people heal amazingly quickly (I know this will be amended by the Houses of Healing in the EE).

-Getting your arm basically crushed by a mace really isn't a serious injury.