What weapons would the people in ME carry?

[Helkahothion]

I had this strange thought, what if ME advanced like our world. What kind of weapons would they carry. I thought of:

Dwarves: Shotguns
Elves: Sniper rifles
Humans: Machine guns
Hobbits: Pistols
Dragons: FLametrowers
Wizards: Shockrifles

[Arafangwen]

Intersting thought! I think the elves would be spies/the swat team or somthing like that! To tired from last night to think about anything else though! *collapses to the floor in a sudden swoon*

[GaladrieloftheOlden]

Lol! Hobbits- rotten eggs smilies/wink.gif

~Menelien

[Everdawn]

no way! hobbits should have water bombs!

[Helkahothion]

Dwarves:Rocketlaunchers. For their demolition works heheheehe smilies/evil.gif

[GaladrieloftheOlden]

I somehow imagine Elves with tranqs smilies/redface.gif , wonde why...

~Menelien

[Helkahothion]

tranqs? As in tranqualizers?

Ehm, BTW, I have joined you at the party. You are talking with ehm my date.*grows at the saying of the word and blushes heavely*

[GaladrieloftheOlden]

*gasps* Wow, people are talking to me at the party! smilies/eek.gif Hardly happened before smilies/wink.gif

Back on topic...
This isn't quite a weapon, but for some 'unexplained' reason, I always think of Dwarves as computer hackers... I'll think up a more authentic weapon next time I post.

~Menelien

[ May 03, 2003: Message edited by: GaladrieloftheOlden ]

[Nuinatariel]

Hobbits should have little plastic sporks to poke people with. They work quite well, not like I'd know or anything... smilies/evil.gif

[Helkahothion]

Hobbits should have little plastic sporks to poke people with.

smilies/biggrin.gif hahaha lol. I always imagined the Terminator standing in the shadows of doom and a little hobbit kicking him in the nuts. Then Arnie doubles over and the hobbits jump ontop of him and kill him with little plastci forks. Hardly inrellevant, but funny nontheless.

[Nuinatariel]

Hmm, hobbits with sporks and wizards with pokey sticks of doom (make your own crazy scene with pics)...*poke*

[ May 03, 2003: Message edited by: Nuinatariel ]

[GaladrieloftheOlden]

*Menelien is frieked out* Oh dear, smilies/evil.gif , I've just had a rather disturbing mental image of Gimli swinging a lassoe, "Howdy, pardna!" Okay, getting a bit carried away here... smilies/biggrin.gif

~On a quest to find sporks, Menelien

[ May 03, 2003: Message edited by: GaladrieloftheOlden ]

[Helkahothion]

This treas really is too funny for words hahahahaha.

*takes another tissue and wipes away his tears*

[Meela]

Elves with silent and deadly laser beams.
Dwarves with bazookas.

[Nuinatariel]

Everyone knows that dwarves are armed with knitting needles!

[Helkahothion]

I think that dwarf women knit pullovers with little pickaxe motives on them.

[Nuinatariel]

That's an interesting mental image...

What about elves with candlesticks? They could just whack people over the head with them!
I can see Pippin using a plastic lawn flamingo to beat people with, too. smilies/biggrin.gif

[Helkahothion]

Yeah hahaha, that one they have in the Sims. Then everytime Pippin would hit someone, you would hear a little squeek. MENTAL IMAGE!!!!!

[Nuinatariel]

Bwahaha, squeek!
What else can be used as a weapon? Let's see...A RABBIT! Sam could hold a rabbit by its ears and whack people with it!
Or...
A potted plant!

Legolas: I shall beat you with my potted plant of doom!

Orc: NOO! Not the potted plant of doom!! Anything but that!

Legolas: Die! *throws potted plant at orc, who immediently dies*

[Helkahothion]

Legolas' secret weapon: Using his deodorant as Pepper spray!

MENTAL IMAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Nuinatariel]

Ok, that's a bit weird. Probably not as weird as being beaten with a flamingo, but still... as if Legolas would waste his deodorant like that!
The perfect weapon for Faramir (Elrond's guestbook): A squirrel!

Faramir: Attack, mighty squirrel army! ATTACK!! *millions of squirrels swarm everywhere*

[Helkahothion]

I am having the sudden mental image of Boromir being bitten to death by a million squirels.

[Nuinatariel]

You have to be careful around those squirrels. smilies/evil.gif
What sort of weapon could poor Boromir have to protect him from those evil rodents? He could beat them with his horn...

[Helkahothion]

hm, what about an army of cat's? Or mongrel's?

[Nuinatariel]

A Last Alliance of cats, squirrels, and mongrels marched against Sauron and the Ring...

[Helkahothion]

... and defeated his army of giraffes.

MENTAL IMAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Nuinatariel]

Right...I'm not going to ask about that.

Gollum could throw fish at people, and of course, Boromir would crush everyone with his supreme disco skills!

[ElenCala Isil]

Boromir could crush people with his Disco Ball of Doom... or dance on them... or something...

[Nuinatariel]

Celeborn: I will beat you with my trashy love novel!

And for Galadriel..

Galadriel: I shall stare at you in a freaky way until you fall down dead from fright! Bwahahaha!

[ElenCala Isil]

Legolas could throw bleach at people...muahaha!

[Nuinatariel]

Pippin: What's that, Merry?

Merry: This, my friend, is a cattle prod...

[ElenCala Isil]

hmmm... I could see Galadriel hitting people with her bird bath...errr mirror.. of doom of course smilies/biggrin.gif

[Everdawn]

Call me strange... but i can see hobbits throwing tea cups as well... NOt just any tea cups, but special china ones.

[Helkahothion]

Merry: This, my friend, is a cattle prod...

HAHAHA that reminds me of a south Park episode where they teach Cartman the lyrics of an X-mas song. He got shocked everytime he made a mistake. But at the end, Kyle shocked him for nothing. I can just picture that on Merry and Pippin now!

MENTAL IMAGE!!!!!!!!

[Everdawn]

Cattle Prod... muhahahaha

*falls off chair laughing*

That is the best so far... very good...

[Sapphire_Flame]

The elves would use wet towels. You know, roll 'em up and flick people with 'em.

But Legolas would have an AK-47. smilies/evil.gif

[Helkahothion]

Nah to primitive, I'd say an M-16. Or like the seal's an MP5. That would be cool. Legolas as a navy seal. All wet and stuff. Okay ill stop.

[Sapphire_Flame]

Nah to primitive
Good point. An MP5 would definately be better. Heh, Legolas the seal...that almost makes sense... smilies/rolleyes.gif

[Salix]

What about elves with candlesticks?
When I read that I instantly thought of elves with candlesticks, dwarves with rope, ents with knives, men with revolvers, and hobbits with wrenches. There is my slightly random post that was spur-of-the-moment.

[Everdawn]

Yeah, if Lara Croft can have an M-16 Why cant legolas?...

[Helkahothion]

Couse Legolas issn't a chick. And Legolas is out of a book. Lara is out of a game.

[Sapphire_Flame]

The Nazgul would fly around in stealth bombers, instead of using those nameless whatevers. (Tolkien never says what those things are, have you noticed? are they dragons of some kind or what?)

[Helkahothion]

Cool saphire. In the second world war they would have had a B-52.

Man I can picture a Nazgûl executing a carpet bombing. That would be SO cool.

MENTAL IMAGE!!!!!!!!

[Everdawn]

*Everdawn nodds*
Good point... what about a rocket launcher...

[Helkahothion]

That one is for the dwarfs. All heavy demolition weapons go to the dwarfs. Except handgranates. They go to the Humans. Aragorn with a chain across his chest with granates on them. He would easely win the battle.

MENTAL IMAGE!!!!!!!

[GaladrieloftheOlden]

Sauron with nuclear... heh smilies/eek.gif

~Menelien

[Helkahothion]

He would not be THAT stupid. Middle-Earth is one realm. And the radiation would couse the death of everyone. Including all his servants. It would be really harsh to see that entire ME died of canser. I don't think that would happen.

[GaladrieloftheOlden]

I'm sure he'd be evil enough.

~Menelien

[Helkahothion]

Maybe they would invent some sort of CHemo therapy. It would be really funny to see everyone in Middle-Earth bald.

MENTAL IMAGE!!!!!!!!

[Sapphire_Flame]

smilies/rolleyes.gif Okay....

Maybe the rangers should have Uzis....

[Helkahothion]

I think the rangers would be commando's. You know, those jungle types. Battling against the Vietcong. Cool. Simply perfect. But even cooler would be that Frodo got assistence of a navi seals team. They would not only wear bleu suits while traveling trough Rohan. They would ride horses with Oxigen tanks on their back.

MENTAL IMAGE!!!!!!!!

[Sapphire_Flame]

Oooo, very cool. smilies/biggrin.gif

[Helkahothion]

*bows*

Thank you. smilies/biggrin.gif

[Sapphire_Flame]

You're welcome. smilies/biggrin.gif

I could see the Rohirrim coming to the aid of Minas Tirith in tanks, instead of on horses. Of course, I might just be weird... smilies/rolleyes.gif

[Nuinatariel]

Sauron's new hide out:
The Death Star!

smilies/evil.gif

[Helkahothion]

Well I can just picture Sting shooting out of its hilt like a light saber and glow Bleu all the time. And Gimli would be that guy with the very long tongue. Man it would be so weird if the Fellowship had lasergun's hahaha.

MENTAL IMAGE!!!!!

[Sapphire_Flame]

smilies/eek.gif Whoa, mental image!!! Sting the elven lightsaber? yikes...
But who would have the Holy Hand-grenade? smilies/wink.gif

[Everdawn]

Now i have this mental image of Saruman dressed as Osama BIn Laden....hahahaha *falls off chair*

[Helkahothion]

The holy handgrenade would go to Aragorn I guess. It would be really funny if a loud HALELUJA was heared and the Orc army of Sauron exploded.

MENTAL IMAGE!!!!!!

[Nuinatariel]

Three shall be the number of your counting and the number of your counting shall be three. smilies/biggrin.gif

The Fellowship could defeat their enemies by yelling 'Ni!' at them!

[Yavanna228]

Yay for Monty Python! smilies/biggrin.gif

Anyways, I can see the Rangers and some other people using Uzis and such, but for some reason I always envisioned the Elves fencing... smilies/rolleyes.gif
Peace

[Helkahothion]

Yeah, it would be cool if Frodo yelled Ni when in the lands of Mordor and everybody drops to the ground covering his ears, screaming of pain.

MENTAL IMAGE!!!

[Sapphire_Flame]

Heh... "Ni!" smilies/tongue.gif

And, of course, the orcs at the Black Gate would assault the army of Gondor with taunts. The men would run away screaming. "RUN AWAY!!! RUN AWAY!!!"

[Nuinatariel]

Saruman could defeat the Ents by cutting them down with...a HERRING!

[Sapphire_Flame]

Oh no, not a herring!! smilies/eek.gif smilies/eek.gif

[Helkahothion]

How funny would it be on the bridge of Khazad Dûm.

Gandalf:What is your name?
Balrog:What?

*Balrog is launched into the depts of Moria screaming and crying like a little girl*

And Sauron's army would be defeated by the maneating rabbit smilies/biggrin.gif

[Sapphire_Flame]

smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif

MENTAL IMAGE!!!

[Nuinatariel]

What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen crebain?