Today on Merry Springer

[Lily Bombadil]

What if there was a talk show called Merry Springer? The episodes could be CRAZY & Valar knows what might happen...

[Lily Bombadil]

I thought of an episode.

Merry: Hey everybody! Today on Merry Springer, we have Bob Balrog-
Crowd: BOOO!!! SSSSSS!!!!
Merry: -and Gandalf the Grey-
crowd: *applause* *whistling* YEAH!!!!
ETC. ETC. ETC. smilies/eek.gif

[Oddwen]

"Today on Merry Springer, we have...Elves who don't have pointy ears!"
"BOOO!"
"And elves who have pierced their pointy ears!"
"YAY!"

Kinda lame...
I love your sig, Lily! "Gandalf Airlines" Lol!

[Rynoah, the Overly-Happy]

Today on Merry Springer, we have Aragorn who is supposedly king...

"BOOOOOOOOOO!"

And Boromir, who is the son of the Ruling Steward.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"

(Suddenly, Boromir wakes up from his dream.)

[legolas luver*1]

Merry: Okay, we'll be back after theses messages:

Announcer: ...Fly with Gandalf Airlines you fools!


(Lily (my sister) stole G.A. from ME!!!

SO FLY YOU FOOL OR I'LL TAKE YOU ON MERRY SPRINGER!!!

[Everdawn]

Today on Merry Springer: Royal inter-species love triangles...
Please welcome Arwen, elven princess...

Arwen: Hi Merry.
Merry: now Arwen, tell us why youre here.
Arwen: well Merry, Aragorn, das my man, soon to be king of Gondor, went on this trip to destroy a ring, but now he is in Rohan.. Now some of my friends tell me that some other hoochie is tryin' to steal my man!
Merry: No!
Arwen: Yes...
Merry: And you know who it is?
Arwen: Sure do Merry!.. Éowyn Shieldmaiden of Rohan...
Merry: well lets bring her out!....

Ill write the rest later... when i can think of exactly how it ends.. or something..

[Airehiriel]

Well, of course, Everdawn, it's supposed to end in a catfight!! And the big stage bouncers have to haul them apart.

[Lily Bombadil]

Continuation of yours, Everdawn.
(After the commercial break)
Arwen: So what the *censor* were you doing in Rohan with MY MAN?!!?
Eowyn: You mean what was he doing with ME!!
*Arwen throws a glass of water in Eowyn's face*
Eowyn: OH NO YOU DIDN'T!!!!! ARRRGH!!! *censor, censor, CENSOR*
Crowd: MERRY! MERRY!
Random on-looker: Hey, Eowyn! I think you're a whore!! *southern accent*
Eowyn: And what, *censor*
*Merry tries to calm down Arwen who's clothes are half ripped off*
Merry: OK, Miss Eventstar. Calm- calm down, calm down. This is just a T.V. show.
Arwen: *pant, pant, pant* I'm alright, I'm okay.
Southern guy: I think she's the EvenWHORE!
Arwen: *censor, censor*
Merry: Alright! That's enough outta YOU Southern Guy! Okay, everybody! Let's bring out the cause of this nightmare!
Crowd: *cheers* MERRY! MERRY!
S.G.:WHORES!!
Merry to Bouncers: Get this big Southern jerk outta here. Alright, may I introduce to you all, *lights go down. Colors flash*
Longshanks, Strider, Elf-stone, Elessor, Dunedain, ARAGORN!!!!
Crowd: *Explodes in cheering* MERRY! MERRY!
*Lights come up*
Arwen: Oh, Arry! *runs to kiss him*
Eowyn: AraGORNNN!!!! *runs to him*
Arwen: Get away from MY MAN!!!
Eowyn: You don't deserve him! You're not even a HUMAN!
Arwen: You did not just! *draws Aragorn's sword*
Eowyn: What if I did?! *draws Merry's sword*
What the-? This is a butter knife! *drops it, tackles Arwen*

TO BE CONTINUED.......

[Tinuviel the Nightingale]

There would definitely be an episode about Turin Turambar marrying his sister.
And Sam's unhealthy attatchment to different things (Bill the pony, Mr Frodo..)
And maybe a nice slapfight between Sam and Gollum/Smeagol over Mr Frodo thrown in for good measure. He he he the mental pictures in my head are amusing... smilies/evil.gif

[Everdawn]

Some black woman...

Woman: Merry, Merry! I is got something to say! Éowyn, you is NASTAY!
Éowyn: Oh really b$%*&?
Woman: Dont interrupt me! You is nastay. And, you, man of many names, yo' have greasy hair and yo' is just as bad, yo' was probably askin for her!
Éowyn: He asked for nothin'
Woman: Shut up, what ever.. Arwen, yo' is worth more than this. What about that honey Legolas, he not married! I say, girl, dont give up yo' immortality for him!

Audience*clapping*

MEHMEHMEH....

[Airehiriel]

Everdawn, you are cracking me up!!! You have this down a little, too good. Now I have to go to the "What do you think of..." thread and put you in!

[Lily Bombadil]

Very good, Everdawn! Sooo talk show.

Merry: Hey everybody, now if you just joined us, today's topic is "MY BOSS IS EVIL & HE WANTS TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD." Okay let's bring out Ugluk! Hey, Ugluk, nice ta have ya with us today.
Ugluk: Thanks, Merry. *sits*
Merry: Now, tell us a little about your boss. His names is Saruman the White?
Crowd: BOO!
Ugluk: Well, ya see, my boss is tryin' to take over the world-
Crowd: BOO!
ugluk: -and I think that's fine and all, but he's violating US in the process.
Crowd: BOO!
Ugluk: YEAH! He doesn't give us sick leave, pension... I mean my buddy Grishnakh-
Crowd: BOO SARUMAN!!!
Ugluk: And to top it all off, we've gotta KILL folks! Now I don't know 'bout y'all, but I think those little elves are kinda cute. I mean it's like killin' a barbie. And I LIKE barbies!!! *bursts into tears*
Merry: Hey, Ugluk, man, it's OK. *hugs him*
Ugluk: Thanks man.
Merry: Okay, now can you just tell us where your boss is now?
Ugluk: *sniff* Hidin' out in Barad-dur. He's afraid that those hobbits & stuff are gonna kick his nasty *censor*!
Crowd: MERRY! MERRY!
Merry: well that's what YOU think, but we have a surprise for you, Ugluk. In that back room, we have SARUMAN THE WHITE, LADIES & GENTLEMEN!!!
Crowd: BOOOOO!!!!!!
Merry: Okay, right after this break Saruman the White ladies & gentlemen!
crowd: MERRY! MERRY!

TO BE CONTINUED...........

[Lindril Arvilya]

"My Boss Is Evil & He Wants To Take Over The World"? Sounds like a category in You Don't Know Jack! smilies/biggrin.gif

[Lily Bombadil]

Lindril,
Actually, I snagged it off that scene in A.P. The Spy Who Shagged Me. You know, where Scott & Dr. Evil go on Jerry Springer.
The topic was 'My FATHER Is Evil & He wants To Take Over The World'.

[Everdawn]

ive had practise... i am my school's resident Jerry Springer chick... We do a lot of satire like jerry in drama.. thanks anyway!

[Lily Bombadil]

Then, at the end of the Arwen vs. Eowyn episiode:
(After great fights between the girls)
Crowd: MERRY! MERRY! MERRY! MERRY!........
*Faramir stands up amidst the crowd*
Faramir: I LOVE YOU, EOWYN!!!!!!!!
Eowyn: REALLY?!!
*He runs unto the stage & kisses her*
Eowyn: Forget, Grease Locks over there!
Aragorn: Hey! It's Dapper Dan!
Eowyn: Ilove you, too- Faramir is it?
Faramir: Uh... yeah...
Crowd: AWWWWWWWW!!!!! MERRY! MERRY!
Merry: Okay, everybody! That' our show! weird, really, but I hope you'll come back next week!
Crowd: MERRY! MERRY! MERRY! MERRY.....!!!!
*Message comes across the screen*
"Do you have a story so dumb that no other talk show will have you? If so, call us at:
1-800-MERRY"
*Pippin turns off the T.V.*
Pip: Wow, Merry! That was amazing!
Merry: *shrugs* Well, what can I say, Pip? I'm just born to be a star. *leans back in his chair, falls backward to the floor* smilies/evil.gif

[Everdawn]

The stereo-typical black woman.. for the fun of this we will call her... Rita

Rita: YOu hear me? you hear me? yo' give dunadain a bad name!
Aragron: You dont know nuthin'.... She hit on me... and then i asked..
Arwen: WHAT!!
Aragorn: woops... um i mean.. yeah it was her all along! *pointing at Éowyn*
Rita: whateva! whateva!
Éowyn: *to Rita* sit down! sit down! you dont know nuthin.
Aragron turnes to Arwen, who picks up her chair and mooves to the other side of the stage...
Audience: ooooohhhhhh....
Merry: excuse me, Éowyn, how does your brother like you going after his friend in battle eh?
Éowyn: he dont know.
Rita: *sitting in her chair in the audience* uhu! nastay nastay!!!
Merry: Well, he's here, lets bring him out, please welcome, Éomer...

...to be continued...

[Lily Bombadil]

I was shocked when I found this topic still open! Here goes:

*Eomer comes out on stage*
Eomer: Eowyn?! How could you be so stupid?! Aragorn doesn't love you! He doesn't love any woman! He just goes from great city to great city looking for trophies to hang on his arm!
Eowyn: *to Aragorn* Is this true?
Aragorn: W- w- well I... Uhhh....
Arwen: Well, Arry? Is this true?
Aragorn: Uhhh... Heh, heh...
Merry: Alright, ladies & gentlemen, we'll find out if this is true... after the break!
Crowd: BOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Southern Guy: BOO!! WHORES!!!
Merry: Southern Guy? How'd he get back in here?! smilies/eek.gif

[Everdawn]

Everdawn: voice on side of stage***
I dont know...
Merry: Oh your finally here! Everybody welcome our resident host supporter Eve!
Eve: ok im here, my job is to sit in the front row and agree with whatever Merry says... Go on...

Aragorn: Hey Eve!
Éomer: yeah! hi eve, i watch this show everyday... where were we?
Arwen: Thats it! ive had it with you Aragorn! IM taking Rita's advice! Im going to Vallinor!..

2B CONT.

[Aredhel Idril Telcontar]

Continuing...

Aragorn: No baby, don't! I LOVE you!!!
Rita: Yeah, gurl!! Yo' worth better than Grease-ball there!!!
Merry: Ladies and gentlemen!! You've never heard this before!!! Arwen is actually cheating on Aragorn! And here's the man - elf - to prove it!! Put yo' hands together for....Legolas Thranduilion!!!
Audience: YAY!!!!!! *Standing ovations, chicks screaming*
Merry: So, Legolas. You say Arwen's been cheating on Aragorn.
Legolas: Yeah! A few months back in Lothlorien, I saw HER *points at Arwen* and Haldir. Together!
Southern guy: WHORE!!! *Gets dragged off by two bouncer Uruks*
Arwen: That is SO not true! We were just walking!
Audience: YEAH RIGHT!
Merry: And now, the elf responsible: Haldir of Lothlorien!

Tbc