Merendis's list of misused homophones

[Merendis]

Apart from the normal most annoying misused homophones (bye/by, their/there
, you're/your) that are found daily on the chat, there are several misused homophones that change the meaning of a sentence and often make it humorous. Here is a list of some of my favorites

1.Manwe would rain over arda
2.Burn someone at a steak
3.That was when my hair was died
4.I'm an Honor Role Student
5. no legolas was aloud to come
6.Yes, Im the forth one.(in response
to "are you a powderpuff girl?")
7.It makes no since what so ever
8. Hippo Birdie Two Ewes, Hippo Birdie Two Ewes, Hippo Birdie Deer Kate, Hippo Birdie
9. You can't sow us a banner, can you?
10. I hate egg roles

A special thanks to the one who started it all and contributed two to the list, you're a stud.....or should i say, your a stud?

[ May 19, 2002: Message edited by: Merendis ]

[ May 22, 2002: Message edited by: Merendis ]

[zifnab]

I aim to please Merendis. smilies/wink.gif

You awl no your glad that you don't type like me, but bear with me, because sometimes I am write!

*guffaws*

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Here is some rather dubious praise of one of our revered site ops:

"Sharkey never seizes to amaze me."

[burrahobbit]

<Makaila> ILL BE AT HMOME IN A PHEW SECS!

[ June 10, 2002: Message edited by: burrahobbit ]

[Merendis]

* Alkaldaiel knocks on merrys door "is your house for sail?"

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

This is great;

Where's the light?

Where's the lite?


That gotta be my favorite right there.


Tis one's pretty good;

I have might!

I have mites!

[Estelyn Telcontar]

I love this one:
A person describes her/himself as "bareable"!! smilies/wink.gif

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

<font color="#ff00ff" face="arial">You inspired me:

Don't walk around with bare feet, you could hurt yourself.

Don't walk around with bear feet, you might step on the cat.

[ June 11, 2002: Message edited by: Gimli Son Of Gloin ]

[ June 11, 2002: Message edited by: Gimli Son Of Gloin ]

[Merendis]

I want to download the whole oh brother where art though soundtrack

[Merendis]

"us level 1 subordinates cannot undue "

[burrahobbit]

&lt;Maltataliel&gt; dont cri Arinya, hi!

[Talking Hawk]

. . . . .

Sorry... I just know a lot of people who misspell things often, so I... Agh, I don't know how to say it without sounding preachy... I know misspellings are annoying (because they are, after a time..), but isn't the conversation value more important than the spelling?

(Is bombarded with responses verifying that these people typically say things along the lines of, "LeGoLaS, u R so HOT!!!!")

All right, all right, point taken... @___@

[Ithaeliel]

Talking Hawk, the point is, it's funny! Lets see if I can think of any.

Luke at that! That is won grate bearow-downs tee shirt.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Here are two homophones that showed up on forum posts:

I'm too sexy for my close.

Suddenly M____ uddered a strange word.

smilies/rolleyes.gif

[burrahobbit]

&lt;Aragorn_Isildur&gt; Ala|OSH, your a real star...

[Estelyn Telcontar]

some more...

knew you wood
Whoa is me
someone should right a story...

[burrahobbit]

&lt;{Legolas}&gt; I do ride bear back

[Ithaeliel]

Frodo: I will take the ring to Mordor! Though... I do not know the weigh.

Beren: For little price do Elven-kings sell their daughters; for gyms, and things made by craft.

[burrahobbit]

&lt;Pippin&gt; i'm gona be bissy, if any one cares

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Reminds me of the Molesworth books by Geoffrey Willans and Ronald Searle:

A chiz is a swiz or a swindle as any fule kno

This is grabber who is head of the skool captane of everything and winner of the mrs joyful prize for rafia work. His pater is very rich and hav a super rolls (hem hem)

this is gillibrand on the high diving board...his pater is a general so he is not very brany

Not that there are any misused homophones in there, but they're funny nonetheless.

Come to think of it, when I was sixteen and studying for my 'A' levels, my English Literature teacher had to explain to the entire class the difference between "it's" and "its". Most of the essays that she'd just marked had mixed up the two, which was hardly surprising, since no-one had seen fit to tell us about it before. Another triumph for the Ministry of Edukashun.

[Ithaeliel]

Those were in a BOOK??! smilies/eek.gif

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Those were in a BOOK??!

Down With Skool, by Geoffrey Willans; illustrations by Ronald Searle. The mis-spellings are intentional, as the dreadful saga of St. Custard's, which includes the dark epic The Revolt of the Prunes, is related by the prep-school anti-hero, Nigel Molesworth. The author was a former schoolmaster.

Another classic, this time from Back in the Jug Agane, is:
i draw a collossal Angle A and make it equal to Angle B. Gloat. Gloat. Wot does it matter if it is half the size? pythagoras could make an elephant equal to a flea...

[ August 08, 2002: Message edited by: Squatter of Amon Rudh ]

[Lady_Báin]

woe peeple axuly rite leyek that. thates's' weerd.

[Ithaeliel]

yeah, thast's rily weerd.

Okay, this isn't a homophone, but it's close enough:

Me- "She wetted the rag..." Wetted is not a word, right?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Me- "She wetted the rag..." Wetted is not a word, right?

Sorry if I've missed the point (it occurs that you may already have realised the following), but yes, 'wetted' is a word. So's 'whetted', for that matter.

woe peeple axuly rite leyek that. thates's' weerd.

It's done for comic effect. Since I laughed like a drain throughout the books it must have worked.

[burrahobbit]

*chubby runs to kates secret layer

&lt;Legolas_me&gt; Because i have to deliver the wring

[Ithaeliel]

Sorry if I've missed the point (it occurs that you may already have realised the following), but yes, 'wetted' is a word. So's 'whetted', for that matter.

I knew about 'whetted,' but I always thought the past tense of 'wet' was just 'wet.' Like, "so-and-so wet the bed..." sorry to use that example, but it's all I could think of.

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

It's a rare usage. Look here (http://www.dictionary.com/search?q=wetted) for more details.

[Bulelainwen]

I get really annoyed when people say alot instead of a lot.

[Rimbaud]

No lie, at about 4am the other morning -

"I luked for the Star Wars pic, but couldn't find it"

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

"ill be your best friend if you do"

Now there's an offer no-one could refuse.

[Ithaeliel]

Stephanos, that's hilarious! BTW, and don't strangle me, why is your screenname now Rimbaud?

*Sigh* The blessfully ingerant beeings who type these things...

[Bulelainwen]

<Pippin> DO THE PEANUT BETTER JELLY WITH A BACE BALL BAT

<Anoronwen> Prouncing ponny?

Lhunithil kisses Legless 'Rest in piece and blah-blah-blah'

<Lhunithil> i can listen hole day to Metallica

[TheLadyAerowen]

*points out she mentioned in the chat about putting that rest in piece here...*

Anyhow- can't remember who said this one:

'Why is the White Bot never on?'

[burrahobbit]

&lt;burrahobbit&gt; im glad their not here

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Here are a couple of gems from the forum:

I'm rather knew to this.

A Hobbit lasses tail.

[TheLadyAerowen]

This is probably more of a spelling error..but hey smilies/wink.gif

*Lomelindi huggles her book she barrowed (borrowed) from her neighbor

Hehe a real B-Der smilies/wink.gif

[Ithaeliel]

Haha! Esty, I saw the tail one... hee!

I wish I could think of some that I've seen around lately...

oh, okay, here's one from my friend:

"I love u Chad (Chad= another friend... inside joke) and ill see u at the fare."

[burrahobbit]

&lt;Mith&gt; there's a fowl voice in the air

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

How much would could a would chuck chuck if a would chuck could chuck would

[Ithaeliel]

He wood chuck, he wood, as much as he cod if a would chuck cod chuck would.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Here's a nice one:

reading allowed (instead of aloud)

Aren't we glad that it is permitted?! smilies/wink.gif

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

The following is a real find, since it manages to combine two instances of homophone abuse with the dreaded (sp?):

at least strong enough to be able to hue (sp? not the colour) with an single Axe swipe (if your strong and skilled enough).

[Childlike Empress]

This, too; three (mis-spelled) homophones in only half a sentence.

As for whither or not Tolkien would have compleated writting about the End

[ October 28, 2002: Message edited by: Childlike Empress ]

[Susan Delgado]

They where one's great King's of men
Misused homophones combined with a misquote.

[ November 10, 2002: Message edited by: Susan Delgado ]

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Here's a lovely example: The film is great but it pails beside the book.
Must be the book in which...
Saruman becomes impailed
Or am I just inclined to
knitpick ???

[Estelyn Telcontar]

We now know that the black robes were not dirty - their owners, the "wringwraiths", must have washed them!

[dragoneyes]

I hope this sight is worth my time

I hope it is too.

[doug*platypus]

More of a homage than a gripe...
burrahobbit! your back.
In the context of the thread it was hard to work out what this meant! I thought it was like "LOOK OUT!!! Behind you!" (I honestly did - oops!), and it wasn't til later I guessed that maybe Burrahobbit had taken a short leave of absence. Maybe to go and have something to do with a Troll's pocket.

[Belin]

On a very old thread, I found this:

He reached into his cloak and pulled out a small vile

A small vile what, I wonder? Chipmunk?

smilies/wink.gif

--Belin Ibaimendi

[ January 11, 2003: Message edited by: Belin ]

[Rosseiliantiel]

How about the 'Naz-Ghouls'?

"Gandalf, they're in the Shire, their in the Shire!" Pippin ran out of
the direction of the Shire.

Owwwww.

[ January 12, 2003: Message edited by: Rosseiliantiel ]

[doug*platypus]

I swore on my pet elephant's grave that this doozie would not go unnoticed. From an RPG discussion thread:
Hey again. Glad to be excepted!
Okay, fine, be that way - we didn't want you anyway! Rest in peace, Tibor...

[Ithaeliel]

Man, this topic rocked... glad to see it back.

Here's a good won (misuse intended):

Do you think Lord of the Rings should have one a Golden Globe?

Um, but aren't ONE and A synonymous...? smilies/biggrin.gif

[Susan Delgado]

Couldn't let this pass:

Only some of the Nandor went to Eriador, lead by Denethor, most then excavated to Beleriand

I suppose they could have done excavations, but I really thought that was more the Dwarves' mileu.

[ January 23, 2003: Message edited by: Susan Delgado ]

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

If Hobbits eat so much and where so portly why wheren't there ever any hart attacts there?

Possibly because harts are herbivores and hobbits are too portly to chase them.

[Rimbaud]

Excerpt from recent chat-log, #BD:

___________

* Din****er fined pickle on floor...eats it anyway
Ga*******n> DF!
Din*****er> *fines

___________

An intriguing economic model.

[ January 25, 2003: Message edited by: Rimbaud ]

[Estelyn Telcontar]

...agreeing with a favorite character/creature: I conquer with the Gollum vote

I guess Gollum came, saw and concurred! smilies/wink.gif

[Susan Delgado]

From an RPG in which the character is a Blacksmith: The blade hardly needed sharpening, but Jadae had had no other costumers that day, so it didn't matter. Must have been dramatacists' off-season, that the poor costumers have to work in a smithy.

[The Saucepan Man]

Apologies to the author of the very fine post from which this came, but I couldn't resist it:

due to Tolkien’s dislike of allergy

He was a martyr to hayfever ... smilies/biggrin.gif

[Diamond18]

Faramir was a mayor dissapointment

True, true, I guess he'd never get elected Mayor of Hobbiton with the way he behaved in the movie...

[Estelyn Telcontar]

I'm puzzled over dyehard fans Just what is it that changes colour with such difficulty??

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

A colour-blind chamaeleon?

[Diamond18]

Oooh, a fresh typo (with the utmost respect to the author, who is probably editing it out as I speak):

(insert wretching sound here).

I wonder how exactly one "wretchs" and what it sounds like...

[Estelyn Telcontar]

The literacy of the LotR experts: Tolkien scholars going on about how they are always write

Mental undressing?? Bare in mind

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

I think that this is the most unfortunate misuse of a homophone to date:
LOTR was also a grate book

[Bêthberry]

The Downs takes a washing on this one:

In the first book, I didn't get exactly what the Barrow Whites were, can someone explain what they are?

Tide? Blue Cheer? Javex?

Bethberry

[XPhial]

<Annundalia> Me and my friend were balling when we found out.


I was bawling too.

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

I didn't get exactly what the Barrow Whites were

I would suggest that they are what Ron washes when he's finished his darks.

[Nuranar]

I hope that didn't boar anyone to death.

What a gruesome way to die.

[Bêthberry]

From a discussion on BarrowDowns' chat site:

dont worry, my problem is grammer, though, my teacher thinks im wonderful at wrighting storys.

Bb

[VanimaEdhel]

Something I found on the Chat:
It is impossible to pay to much attention to a movie, Alka

The person apparently doesn't know about "to", "too", and "two". I'll assume it was a typographical error (however, he didn't correct himself at all). smilies/wink.gif

[Estelyn Telcontar]

...riot's might brake out.
Where are the brakes located on riots? That would be a very good thing to know!

[The Saucepan Man]

Tolkien lived through the rain of Queen Elizabeth

Can't say that surprises me. After all, we do have rather a lot of precipitation in Britain. smilies/frown.gif

[ March 05, 2003: Message edited by: The Saucepan Man ]

[Estelyn Telcontar]

In the Silm it says Melkor bread the dragons.

Do you fry or bake breaded dragons?? And "is it tasty? Is it crunchable?"

[ March 07, 2003: Message edited by: Estelyn Telcontar ]

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Which King Is the Which a witch??
The Wight Rider Since when does B-W have a horse??

[ March 10, 2003: Message edited by: Estelyn Telcontar ]

[Hilde Bracegirdle]

As a bonus I have learned to use the dicitioonairy and can now type up to 20 wpm...

I don't mean to be mean adding this in here, but it made me smile! Would you say that he/she needs a dictionary or to type slower?

Actually, I need the dictionary as it's not a homophone!

[ March 10, 2003: Message edited by: Hilde Bracegirdle ]

[Ithaeliel]

The Eldar weeded for the most part in their youth and soon after their fiftieth year

Ah, the joys of gardening when you're young and hale... I wonder what became of their flowers after the elves hit fifty?

[Galadrie1]

A thousand apologies to the person who posted this, but I just couldn't resist. the Barrow-Weight Just how much does a Barrow weigh? Would you include everything inside it in the weight?

[The Saucepan Man]

Shire- The rolling hills of Whales

Presumably that'll be Humpback Whales. smilies/smile.gif

[Sophia the Thunder Mistress]

Many many apologies to the person who wrote this, but I thought of this thread the minute I saw it and laughed for ages...
The rolling planes

Like airliners? or fighter jets maybe?

Another winner is when you run a couple of words together...

hob*****aracter

[ March 21, 2003: Message edited by: Sophia the Thunder Mistress ]

[Susan Delgado]

I saw this in the chat, and immediately thought of Mer smilies/smile.gif

She was speaking of a teacher no one recommended she take classes with but she thought she could handle.
Ok, I think I could bare that
I think maybe she shouldn't bare herself to this teacher, but that's just me. smilies/wink.gif

[ April 07, 2003: Message edited by: Susan Delgado ]

[TheLadyAerowen]

Here are a few Gayahithwen and I found on the chat;

{Princess_Fairy} The forum no! My sister does but why would I post on some stupid forum waist my time like that!

{Princess_Fairy} Well then if we are aloud to speak other languages then let it be! (then she goes on to say something in another language..)

{OrangePaintCan} You are not aloud to speak other language but what i wrote were a book title

(Next two are talking about the Nazgul)

{Morarwen} no there SSSSSSSUPER cool
{Morarwen} There undead

Seems we also have some grammar problems smilies/wink.gif And you also have to love some of the names they use.

~The Lady Aerowen

[ April 05, 2003: Message edited by: TheLadyAerowen ]

[Estelyn Telcontar]

There is one cord in a piece that I play Is your music all tied up??

[The Saucepan Man]

Plus, Elrond lives in Rivendell,he has a king of men for a sun in law

Well, I know some people think that Aragorn's hot, but I didn't know he was that hot ...

[Galadrie1]

Middle-earth Mayham Yes, I heard that's the hobbits' preferred taste, though I think the elves like April ham better. smilies/wink.gif

[Estelyn Telcontar]

waiting for the weather to brake Yeah, sometimes it would be nice to have slower weather! smilies/wink.gif

[Sophia the Thunder Mistress]

One from the quiz room: You're turn. Very overused, and not funny, but it turns up so very often that it needs an occasional mention.

And another: guilded cage... Is there a guild for cages? Demand fair wages!

Sophia

[ April 16, 2003: Message edited by: Sophia the Thunder Mistress ]

[The Saucepan Man]

You're turn.

Hmm, I'm sure I've been guilty of that one a few times. smilies/rolleyes.gif

Apologies to the person who posted this one, but it amused me:

Also he was aloud to use his full power as a Maia ...

He must have been a very noisy Maia, then. smilies/biggrin.gif

[Sophia the Thunder Mistress]

their were no children in site

Really? I'm pretty sure there are a few on this site...

already been discused to peces

Fish anyone?

And another:
par for the coarse

[ April 25, 2003: Message edited by: Sophia the Thunder Mistress ]

[Diamond18]

Dear Legolas,
Will you send me a vile of your saliva?

Now that is vile.

[Merendis]

"lol can't say i've attemped that feet"

Yes, feet are dangerous objects, one is advised against attempting them.

I'm just so giddy that I posted. smilies/biggrin.gif Thanks guys, for keeping this thread(my only half decent contribution to the forum) alive, and my obession continuing, even if i don't log into the forum for 10 months. May you be forever picky of grammar!

[Sophia the Thunder Mistress]

I am not aloud in here, but we are planning an escape root.

She said it softly, pulling a large beet from behind her back smilies/biggrin.gif

[Mattius]

my friend FISH wors about 4 feathers and she got the big D for it

I see...

[Mattius]

Also, I also think that he would be pleased

[Susan Delgado]

I have straight teeth, their just fixing my bight

Now, I don't really see what his teeth have to do with a bight...unless they're to be straightened by being attached to a string and a doorknob!

[ May 06, 2003: Message edited by: Susan Delgado ]

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Ah, the joys of forum reading again! Here are my newest discoveries: ...if anyone's interested in taking a peak. Where would you take it and isn't it a bit difficult to transport? ...he didn't fair too well. no comment

[Estelyn Telcontar]

I will say my peace. Don't we wish more people did?!
He had poured over maps... I do hope they were waterproof!

[ June 09, 2003: Message edited by: Estelyn Telcontar ]

[GaladrieloftheOlden]

Not sure if this fits here, it's from the chatroom... those r my too favorite people Rather common mistake, just posted it anyway smilies/smile.gif smilies/rolleyes.gif

~Menelien

[Estelyn Telcontar]

The Noble Collection has many Mid-evil products As Belin Ibaimendi said, how can it be Noble and Mid-evil at the same time?
...he was waisting his time. Trying to make it thinner in the middle??

[ June 11, 2003: Message edited by: Estelyn Telcontar ]

[Diamond18]

This wasn't a typo or a homophone, but it's closer to a homophone than a typo, methinks, so I shall put it here.

It just so happens that my protagonists are step-brothers, having no parentage in common except by adoption. The father's first wife died and married again, and thus the step-brothers.

Here comes the corpse, all dressed in formaldehyde...

[Estelyn Telcontar]

I do love spotting homophones - here's another irresistable one! Making a sequel to a book that is not even written is plane suicide. Rather confusing - is the author or director a depressive pilot??

[Sophia the Thunder Mistress]

Here's a gem:

all threw the night

I don't know if this is possible, even if we all pitch in smilies/tongue.gif.

Sophia

[Estelyn Telcontar]

...and yet another variation on a popular theme: I would like to copywright that.

[Sophia the Thunder Mistress]

Is this even making since?

Sense when have you ever made scents?

[Yavanna228]

Sense when have you ever made scents?
Or even cents... smilies/smile.gif
Peace

[GaladrieloftheOlden]

Sometimes I am lick and oly Pardon? smilies/wink.gif

~Menelien

[Yavanna228]

Frodo: Owwwwwie... heartburn!!! I'm never eating Bilbo's chilly again...
From the 'Crazy Captions (Again)' thread. smilies/biggrin.gif
Peace

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Are you sure I just can't take a little peak? And where would you keep it if you could?

[Estelyn Telcontar]

bare with me But I don't even know you!!

[Sophia the Thunder Mistress]

but bare with me.

As long as it isn't "butt" bare...

This isn't a typo or a homophone really, but closer, I think to homophone smilies/wink.gif.
Sam: Ugh! There's an orange stink here! Can ya smell it?
What does orange smell like? I bet it's 'orrid, whatever it is...

Sophia

[Edit: Aah, great minds, Esty! smilies/wink.gif ]

[ July 02, 2003: Message edited by: Sophia the Thunder Mistress ]

[Liriodendron]

ORANGE STINK! smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/cool.gif Where is this orange stink! I missed that! (but I want it!) smilies/biggrin.gif

[Estelyn Telcontar]

it was their fate to be superseeded by men Ummm, is that where the hybrids come from??

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

I'm sure I'd be much more complementary about the Downs
What was I thinking?

[Estelyn Telcontar]

I don't mind being a no-it-all What a negative attitude! smilies/wink.gif

[Estelyn Telcontar]

This homophone has showed up before, but I do like this context! A man without hope gives up and brakes under the smallest pressure. How true - almost Freudian!

[The Saucepan Man]

It also says somewhere in LotR that the horses of the Nazgul were bread in Mordor

Well I've heard of men of straw, but horses of bread?!!? smilies/biggrin.gif

[Evisse the Blue]

Probably Mordor had an unsuitable climate for grain so they used horse as bread...

it is waisted on people like that
I cant believe i mist it!
I'm not at all exited about this anymore either.
This is called stabbing people in the back. I feel like such a traitor... smilies/confused.gif

[ September 20, 2003: Message edited by: Evisse the Blue ]

[The Saucepan Man]

An oldie, but a goldie - always welcome when it resurfaces:

... I don't have a clue what I'm doing yet, so if you are reading this; bare with me.

Gosh, these newbies are certainly not backward at coming forward. smilies/biggrin.gif

[ October 19, 2003: Message edited by: The Saucepan Man ]

[Yavanna228]

Well, Saucy, at least they invite us to join them. smilies/wink.gif They're quite polite.
Peace

[Estelyn Telcontar]

And yet another variation on that theme: Gandalf is the barer of this ring. I thought he kept it hidden?

[Finwe]

... looks a bit peeky

Yes indeed, being "peeky" is a bad thing. We all know what happened to the legendary Peeping Tom.

his father died and married again

Hmm.... I didn't know necrophilia existed among the Elves!

[Estelyn Telcontar]

...and yet another variation on a popular homophone: Gandalf is the barer of this ring. I can just see the movie version: 'The Naked Ring'! smilies/biggrin.gif

[Estelyn Telcontar]

you never seize to amaze me Amazement seizes me...

[doug*platypus]

Not sure if this counts as a homophone (at least in most peoples' version of the English language), but in case you thought that Éowyn's bower was "a hutch to trammel some wild thing in", it seems you were sadly mistaken. It actually reads: A hushed, tremmelsome, wild thing. That tremmelsome young Éowyn. She's probably the most tremmelsome of all the tremmelous characters in the whole tremlogy, I mean trilogy.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

A little known fact about one of the Ainur - Morgoth was a baker!! They were bread by Melkor. It sounds like he specialized in gingerbread men, perhaps? smilies/tongue.gif

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Hear I come Perhaps there's only a comma missing to remind us to listen for an arrival? "Hear, I come!"
to sale into the West Oooh, special offers in Valinor? Or are the Valar buying something from M-E??

(Now, we don't mention names here, but I got a kick out of the fact that both of these typos came from authors who are involved in a serious writing project that started on the Downs... smilies/rolleyes.gif )

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Robust greetings: A hardy hello

[The Saucepan Man]

The perennial favourite makes yet another appearance ...

Gandalf exposed in Rohan!

Gandalf arranged him to be there to bare him to Meduseld.

[Kransha]

Butt I think there is an alternative.

Did you just call me Butt?

And he roled down the mountain.

Doesn't sound as painful as rolling.

I am the I of Sauron!

So where's the A of Sauron? Actually, Sauron doesn't have an I. S-A-U-R-O-N

When in doubt, yous your knows.

I'm not touching the grammar in that one.

[Finwe]

Estel, the name given by a mother to a son she hoped would accomplish great feets

Hmm... how does one accomplish a foot? Was Aragorn leaping about or something? Did Gilraen want him to become Middle-earth's resident Leap-frog champion? :D

[Nirvana II]

hear's one:Hear here! (slightly copied....but its still fresh off the vine)

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Here's a new twist to one of our favorite homophones: Both could bare arms Where I live, it's still too cold for sleeveless tops...

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Two-in-one: a grate addition to Melkor's fours
I'm puzzled - grated cheese and petit fours don't go together very well...

[Bêthberry]

But i think we should look more into Middle Earth itself, and so I think that Tolkien is trying to show this, with so may characters turning to evil and only a few taking the 'wise' root and turning from it.

Did it belong to the Tree of Good and Evil? And should we all become gardeners?

:)

[Luthien_ Tinuviel]

Ah, such fine tails of.. um.. deadness!

For myself, I'd rather not have a dead tail.

And that time when I fell in a whole

Yes, but did you complete the entire fall?

[luthien-elvenprincess]

Sam 'herd' a burst of 'horse' singing, blaring of horns, banging of gongs, a hideous clamour.

Yes, I think that hearing a herd of orcs singing like horses would be a hideous clamour!

[luthien-elvenprincess]

All your words are but to say: you are a woman, and your part is in the house. But when the men have 'dyed' in battle and honour , you have 'leaves' to be burned in the house, for the men will 'knead' it no more.

strange role reversals: men dying their hair and making bread; women doing yard work, but doing it inside the house. ;)

[doug*platypus]

On how to choose between conflicting texts:it's a matter of cannonArrh... a Downer after me own heart. It was once said that the best ambassador is a Man O' War!

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Dragons do reproduce by lying eggs. Thus it is quiet possible to bread them.
Hush! We're enjoying our breaded filet of dragon - at least, if they didn't lie about the eggs...

[Maeggaladiel]

Ah, such fine tails of.. um.. deadness! Oh, jees, that one was me!! *Slaps forehead, bangs head against wall* Stupid! *BANG* Stupid! *BANG* Stupid! *BANG* Ow.

~Maeg and her dead tail

[Estelyn Telcontar]

This one is tricky, admittedly... Anglo Saxon annunciation ...announcing the enunciation?!

[The Saucepan Man]

So, I'll be Bach.... to compose a new post, no doubt. :D

[Luthien_ Tinuviel]

what other examples of curses are found in Middle-Earth or the Undrying Lands?

Never go to the Undrying Lands with wet hair.

Bare with me for a moment

If it's all the same to you, I think I'll pass.

[Luthien_ Tinuviel]

I was serfing the old threads on the Downs forum

No doubt with a nobleman peering over your shoulder and telling you that your computer time was up.

[The Saucepan Man]

PJ's Most Disagreable Mistakes (reasons why he is no longer aloud doing The Hobbit)You mean he's making a mime version? :D

[Mithalwen]

"Sir Ian Mc Kellen, would not say Macbeth due to the superstition that if it is spoken, in a theatre, while a production is being planned as it causes things to go wrong. The reason why they say their is a curse, is because it is believed, Shakespeare had a playright call Christopher Mallory killed, and took his writings and claimed them as his own, and Mallory knew of Shakespeares jealosy of him, when Mallory was stabbed,Mallory is suposed to have cursed any work that shakespeare claimed to be his, if it had not been."

I hope playright is enough to qualify butI thought it worth quoting in it's entirety for enlightenment on this mysterious episode in the history of English Literature....

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Elusive allusion? Or an illusion? ;)
it still alludes me

[The Saucepan Man]

frodo and co. meat elves?Well, I know that Hobbits like their food, but isn't that taking it too far ...

[Mithalwen]

I always wondered how the elves of Rivendell and Lorien managed to cultivate enough food for the community in a ravine and a forest but I didn't realise they were practising cannibalism..

[Encaitare]

Here's one I just found over in Crazy Captions:

Gandalf:
Squinting with all his might, Gandalf notices that he is not in the same room as the Balrog...
G: Ah Fiddlesticks! I guess saruman was right, that hobbit weed has been getting to my head, i'm not even in the right demention anymore!

Well, I guess Gandalf does look kinda demented in that picture... :rolleyes:

Love ya, Ka. :D

[Elennar Starfire]

Oh, pooh, Enca's gotten to it first...

[Estelyn Telcontar]

the W-K braking Gandalf's staff NEW! Staff with brakes - enables wizards to slow down before hurting someone (or turning them into something unnatural... ;) ).

[Sophia the Thunder Mistress]

I wish I could find the quote, but after some time of searching, it still alludes me. A quote that kept alluding to me would be on my hit list as well. :eek: I hope it wasn't saying anything nasty!

[The Saucepan Man]

Legolas for example was cast for the soul purpose of drawing in the ladies ages 10 to 25 ...... must be the ones looking for a soul mate.

[Mithalwen]

"Debauchery's a funny thing (no, bare with me....."

Quite an offer from the most-stalked downer....... :p

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I must thank Keeper of Dol Guldur for keeping this gem out of sight of the general public. It would have entirely changed the context of that part of the story, and certainly explained why the all the jaws in the room dropped upon my character's entrance!

Her posture was as excellent as could be expected, and those at the table who knew of her lineage smiled to themselves at her noble baring.
And though he thankfully didn't post it, LMP discovered my last mistake:

If not now, than when? If not me, than who?

[Estelyn Telcontar]

...thrown Denethor off the thrown... Double take or double toss?

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Pot? Kettle? Black? Mr. Wile E. Coyote soots my personality well

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Not quite a homophone, yet more than a typo: the need be fateful in adaption whilst creating drama Hmmmm, a new version of the big "C" thread? ;)

[Mithalwen]

"there is a barrowwright ...."

Well I guess someone had to make the barrows.... :p

[The Elf-warrior]

The best corse of action...

"corse" is an archaic word for corpse. How appropriate for Tol-in-Gaurhoth.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Mordor a name so fowl Apparently the enemies chickened out!

[Estelyn Telcontar]

This has to be on purpose, doesn't it?! the acting is so wooden the audience must be board.

[Bergil]

I have an excuse, that I hope will bare with two witnesses...
rated-R legal practices?

[Bergil]

Clean up on isle 4

trouble in the shipyards?

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Gollum finds out that his long journey to the North Poll was in vain as it turns out Penguins live in the South Poll. Fordim must be listing his polls by directions so we can find the right one!

[Estelyn Telcontar]

A story that, fortunately, does not end in a watery grave...
...as none of you have spent hours pouring over my autobiography...

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Hear is my reply Hmmm, I suppose one must have specialized computer technic to be able to hear posts instead of reading them?

[The Saucepan Man]

Therefor Gondor was going to bare the brunt of Sauron's attack.It's a little know fact that the real reason for the withdrawal of Mordor's hordes from the Pelennor was pure embarrassment at their nakedness ...

[The Might]

This one I really don't like:

good idear!

[the guy who be short]

iDear (n.) Alternative mp3-player which plays only a variety of animal sounds, judged by its advanced technology to suit your particular mood at the time.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Trudging threw the snow and making a path with his bear hands
Beornomir in a snowball fight?

[Estelyn Telcontar]

knitpicky
The way one handles a sweater after washing?

[Estelyn Telcontar]

fairy tails Huh? I don't remember that kind of fairy...

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Not really a homophone, but definitely more than a typo: (they) ...plodded their troths to them Yes, marriage commitment can be a long, slow walk... ;)