My theory on Santa's 'elves'

[Arwen1858]

I saw a preview for the movie 'Elf' today, and got to thinking about it. Now, we all know that Santa doesn't really have Elves, because Elves are tall, graceful, and completely unlike whatever it is that works for Santa. So, today I had this thought. Maybe Santa took a bunch of Hobbits, and has them working for him. They're short, have pointy ears... I can see them having the right personalities for the job. It would also explain why Santa needs people to leave him milk and cookies: the Hobbits eat all of his before he gets a chance!
Well, just thought I'd share my theory, and I'd love to hear what y'all think about it!
Arwen

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

Nice theory smilies/biggrin.gif
Personally I don't want to mix M-E and Santa 'cause the final result would probably be something that ruins both of them.

And actually, this problem with confusing elves/ the elves of Santa doesn't appear in Finnish due to they have their own words smilies/smile.gif
In Finnish an elf from M-E is "haltia" and Santa's elf is "tonttu" (both of these words are pronaunced in the same way as one pronaunces elvish).

[ October 17, 2003: Message edited by: dancing spawn of ungoliant ]

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

My parents always told me that Santa lives in Valinor, where there are, of course, no Hobbits.

So I'm sceptical of your theory Arwen. smilies/wink.gif

[Arwen1858]

My parents always told me that Santa lives in Valinor, where there are, of course, no Hobbits.
My parents don't even know what Valinor is, so I've never heard that one! Anyways, what about Frodo, Sam and Bilbo? They were in Valinor, until they died. And just how did
Santa get to Valinor?

And actually, this problem with confusing elves/ the elves of Santa doesn't appear in Finnish due to they have their own words
That's good! Too bad we can't have a different word for Santa's elves in English!

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

Too bad we can't have a different word for Santa's elves in English!

We could devise a whole new word to the elves of Santa. When I look from my dictionary it gives a word brownie for "tonttu" aka an elf of Santa. Another word is hobgoblin. So why couldn't you guys use these words? Oh well, maybe people haven't used to these words...it's a tradition to speak of Santa's elves.

[ October 17, 2003: Message edited by: dancing spawn of ungoliant ]

[Tinuviel of Denton]

My solution for the elves/the 'elves' of Santa is to call the Elves of ME or other real Elves by that name, and I call Santa's or Keebler's or any of those other stupid little things 'elfs' (which is actually the correct way to spell it, grammatically smilies/rolleyes.gif ). I've given quite a few long, detailed lectures on the subject.

I think that Santa's elfs aren't smart enough to be Hobbits, by the way.

[the phantom]

Click below to see what some other people had to say about Santa's elves last year.
http://forum.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=17&t=000299

[Arwen1858]

Thanks for that link, Phantom!! Well, I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who's thought this smilies/smile.gif

[Luthien_ Tinuviel]

Don't you all know that there is no Santa?!?! There's only a Father Christmas, who actually does have elves working for him. You know, Ilbereth and all of his other elf-friends, and Paksu, and Valkotukka, and the North Polar Bear, and the goblins, and....... smilies/rolleyes.gif

[THE Ka]

good theory... unfortunately the ka did not get to enjoy a childhood of knowing that santa did "exist" becuase when i was 5 i came out into the livingroom on my way to the bathroom where there, i saw, my mom and dad puting all the presents under the tree... in later years i saw my dad eating the cookies and drinking the milk "intended" for santa... if your theory is correct, then my dad's a hobbit! AHH! No! well, that's my story. hope you enjoyed. smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/frown.gif smilies/cool.gif

"yes, a brat prince" - annr rice

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Please Arwen, I'm pretty sure Frodo, Sam and Bilbo never made it to Valinor, rather to Eressea.

And Santa would have got to Valinor by means of a reindeer-pulled airbourne sled of course!

[Novlamothien]

You are all wrong, though some of you are close. smilies/smile.gif
This is what really happened.
Gandalf, seeing that the hobbits were being threatened by the spread of mankind, took them to the north pole, where it really is green and pretty, so they could be happy and make toys. It only takes a whole year because the Hobbits take so many meal breaks and holidays. unfortunatly, when people saw them, they mistakened them for elves, on account of the pointy ears. The Hobbits let this mistake continue, deeming it wise for their true identity to never come out. But then, one year JRR Tolkein caught one and had it tell him a story,which was some of the Lost Tales, and each year he heared a small bit more, which is why it took him his whole life to write about ME.

Problem solved, end of arguement. smilies/smile.gif smilies/smile.gif smilies/smile.gif

Namarie

[Silmarien]

I think that's the best theory, Novlamothien. But I'd say that not all of them make toys. The rest still farm and grow pipeweed and Father Christmas which is the form Gandalf took on after he got back from helping save Middle Earth.

[Novlamothien]

Right, that makes sense. After all, somebody has to produce all the food those hungry hobbits eat.

Namarie

[Arwen1858]

Good theory, Novlamothien! I really like that one.
Just a thought, but could Tom Bombadil be Father Christmas? Just wondered.
Arwen

[Horse-Maiden of the Shire]

It WOULD make sense, Bombadil being Father Christmas. He's fat, he's jolly, and he eats a lot. "Where are his reindeer, then?" you inquire? Why, Old Man Willow caught hold of them and poor old Tom didn't get there fast enough...

[Silmarien]

Yes I think you're right Tom makes much more sense than Gandalf. I can just see him popping up and down down chimneys and it also fits with the enigma he is every house in the world in one night. Ho ho ho Tom Bombadil.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Maybe human beings are just a lot bigger these days, so much so that we dwarf the Elves. It begs the question, just how small are Hobbits really?

[Elentári_O_Most_Mighty_1]

3ft something, aren't they?
Hmmm...so, if Tom Bombadil is Father Christmas, what exactly is Gandalf??????
And Goldberry must have aged a bit then...

But an excellent theory. smilies/biggrin.gif

[Maikadurwen]

i have a great word for santas "ELVES"
GNOMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! smilies/evil.gif

[Morgul Queen]

No, I don't think so. Early on JRRT refers to the Noldor as Gnomes.....hang on a mintick...hmmmmm *Mq gets THAT evil glint in her eye, the type that only comes after centuries of practice*...maybe...that could work....(heh heh, I can hear you all going 'GET ON WITH IT!!!!' Scene 24 style. Don't think I can't).

Anyway, Morgoth enslaved some of the Noldor in his mines because of their skill with crafts. So maybe Santa is really Morgoth in disguise, which means he's really trying to seduce us all into following him by giving us gifts....rather like Sauron with the Rings.... and He's using the enslaved Noldor to do it.... smilies/eek.gif oh, sweet Lady Elbereth (NO!! NOT you *Varda* smilies/biggrin.gif ) save us from....hang on again...maybe if we ask Him nicely, He'll give us Elves in Tight Leather for christmas!!!!!

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That makes no sense what-so-ever, does it!!?

[Arwen1858]

It makes sense to me. Oh, and I like what you put as your location smilies/biggrin.gif I have to be really careful when I'm on my computer, becuase if I come across any fangirls, or read any bad fanfic, Asfoloth goes wild and tries to smash in my computer screen!!
ok, back on topic smilies/biggrin.gif
So, is is Santa the evil Morgoth?? Or Tom Bombadil?? Did y'all see that they're going to have a 1 minute RotK trailer before the movie 'Elf?' Maybe PJ wanted that so people would see real elves in the trailer, and wouldn't be misled by the ones in the movie... It looks like a good movie, but it would drive me crazy, I think, watching it because those can't really be elves!!! I know... they're hobbits who, like Sam, were really interested in the Elves, so when they started helping Santa, they decided to call themselves Elves because they knew most people wouldn't know the difference. Just like I say that I'm an elf sometimes, maybe their wishful thinking led them to say that, because noone had heard of a hobbit.
This all might sound rather silly, and not make too much sense, but it's really late and my brain is starting to shut down on me.
Arwen

[Luthien_ Tinuviel]

Maybe PJ wanted that so people would see real elves in the trailer, and wouldn't be misled by the ones in the movie...

One would hope so.... But this "Santa" person can't be the real thing. It must be a corrupted nickname, because what self-respecting maia, as our multiple theories seem to think he is, would give himself such a weird and childish name? This could only mean one thing.... it's Saruman!. Think about it. It works. Saruman becomes Sharku becomes Sharkey becomes Santa. He's obsessed with the letter S or something. He has this conspiracy thing going with all the parents to keep children behaving, and maybe we're all even working to accomplish his evil plans without our knowledge. And our reward... presents. He's in charge of the toy industry. He owns all of the companies which produce holiday-related items. It could happen- it has happened!

[Mantauriel]

That's funny! Hobbits? I think Santa may use hobbits. Unless, Elrond sells Elves, and the cold makes them shrivel up and shrink... like prunes? I wonder if Elrond wears a tupee while selling them... *shudders* smilies/smile.gif

[Kates Frodo Temp]

Ya know, there's a solid historical explaination for the popular image of certain magical beings turning from "elf" to "brownie". I'd explain it to you, but I can tell from the cyber-stares I'm getting that this is not a serious thread open to historical fact. PM me if you want to hear the truth, though. smilies/smile.gif

Kate's