Movie Bloopers Continued

[Elennar Starfire]

Since the old movie bloopers thread was closed for length, I'm starting a new one.

In Rivendell, when Bilbo gets his evil face, Frodo is so startled that he jumps backwards and falls out the window.

[Meneltarmacil]

At the Doors of Moria:

GANDALF: Annon edhellen! Edro hi ammen!

*doors won't open*

*Gandalf trys to push them open*

FRODO: Mellon?

*The doors suddenly open and Gandalf falls on his face*

[the guy who be short]

For those of you who have seen the Simpsons stonecutters episode.

Gandalf: You cannot pass!
Balrog: But what if I was to shake your hand... like this!
(secret stonecutter handshake)
Gandalf: I didn't know you were a member! Here, pass all you want
(Gandalf steps aside to let the Balrog pass. Unfortunately, what with the bridge being so narrow, he falls off it.)
Gandalf: I cannot fly! You fools, help me!
Balrog: i'll save you
(Balrog jumps off the edge of the bridge. On the long way down an argument starts about whether cheese tastes green. A fight starts)

Well, it was funny in my head. But then, my sense of humour is rather... strange.

[Elennar Starfire]

So sorry, Mr. Barrow-Wight! I won't do any more Lord of the pants, I promise.

[ July 21, 2003: Message edited by: Elennar Starfire ]

[Lily Bombadil]

In Lothlorien-

Galadriel: May it be a light for you in dark places, when all other lights go out. *the phial crackles and shorts out*

OR...

Galadriel: Farewell, Frodo Baggins.
*Galadriel starts kissing Frodo on the mouth*
Celeborn: Gosh! You do this every time! smilies/rolleyes.gif

[Elennar Starfire]

Wouldn't it be funny if someone got hiccups?

Legolas: Crebain! from *hic* Dunland!

Gandalf: I am the servant of the secret *hic* fire, wielder of the *hic* flame of Anor! You cannot *hic* pass!

[ElentariGreenleaf]

At Amon Hen -

Boromir: My brother, my captain, my King.
Aragorn: Boromir, I am your father.
Boro: No, you're my brother..... my captain... my king.
Ara: No, I am your father.... F-A-T-H-E-R
Boro: But the script quite plainly says My brother, my captain, my king.
Ara: *looks at script* What, you mean this ISN'T star wars? So... this is star trek.
Boro: That's it. I'll be in my trailer. *storms off*
PJ: Wait, you still have to die!

Ok.... it was funny in my head...

At the gate of Mordor -

*trolls are opening the gates*
Sam: Frodo, what are they doing?
Frodo: It seems to me, my dear Watson, that they are attempting to open the gates to let in those Easterlings and gatehr an army of unbeatable strength.
Sam: *has an idea* Why don't we actually try to stop them and so foil Sauron's plan? *runs towards the gates*
PJ: FRODO! Stop him! He's gonna ruin the set, let alone the script!
Frodo: Go Gollum, my faithful pet.
Gollum: Gollum. Gollum Oh, this is so degrading. *pushes Sam off the edge*

[the guy who be short]

Oxymoron!

(The fellowship enter Lothlorien. Leaves are falling about them)

Aragorn: Idly fall the leaves of Lorien.

[Silmiel of Imladris]

Extended version:

On the platform in Lothlorien the fellowship waits as Haldir and Aragorn argue in Elvish.

Pippin: I wonder what they are saying.

Aragorn in Elvish: Come on Haldir let us through. Just one night, we will even clean our own bathrooms.

Haldir in Elvish: For the last time Aragorn, your Master card was declined. No Visa, no check in, no room.

smilies/tongue.gif

[Meela]

Aragorn is floating down the river, half dead. Arwen appears above him.
She leans down to kiss him, but instead falls on top of him.

Aragorn (spluttering): What the- I was having a great dream there!

Crew from above: Shouldn't have had those extra donughts, Arwen! *dangles broken rope*


*applauds all other bloopers and hands Meneltarmacil a Blooper Award for the super image of Gandalf falling flat on his face *giggles*

[Meneltarmacil]

*applauds all other bloopers and hands Meneltarmacil a Blooper Award for the super image of Gandalf falling flat on his face *giggles*

Why thank you, Meela. smilies/biggrin.gif
*humbly accepts it*
By the way, have you checked out some of my posts on the "New Movie Script" thread?

[ July 16, 2003: Message edited by: Meneltarmacil ]

[The Barrow-Wight]

The first thread was closed partly for length, but also for only about 5% of the bloopers being decent enough to read.

Give these things some effort! And no more pants! I delete those on sight!

[Meneltarmacil]

EOMER: To the King!

*the riders of Rohan come over the hill*

RIDER: Oops!! *his horse trips*
*his horse crashes into another rider...who crashes into another rider...who crashes into another rider...*

*all the riders tumble off the hill and crash headfirst into the Uruk Hai*

[Silmiel of Imladris]

Good one Meneltarmacil! smilies/biggrin.gif

********
Rivendel: Gandalf and Elrond are talking about Saurman.

Gandalf: Then he threw me on the roof!

Elrond: The horror!

Gandalf: Yes, but at least the eagle came and got me otherwise I would have been up there past Christmas.

Elrond: Didn't you hear? Santa wouldn't give my people a raise. So we locked him in the closet and went on strike so Christmas is canceled.

:Elrond glances towards the closet as its door rattles:

Ok at least I tried. smilies/tongue.gif

[ July 17, 2003: Message edited by: Silmiel of Imladris ]

[Meneltarmacil]

Here's another one.

(Boromir's funeral boat)
BOROMIR: (wakes up) Man, I must have been unconscious for a while... Wait, where am I?
*sees waterfall*
BOROMIR: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH
*splash*

[Silmiel of Imladris]

Ha ha! Another winner! When is Meela going to start giving out awards again?

Anyway... ready for another lameo? smilies/rolleyes.gif

Aragorn and Arwen are on the bridge kissing.

:Arwen pulls back and wipes her lips:

Arwen: Lipstick? Lipstick??!!! I don't wear lipstick!!!

Aragorn: Well I don't wear lipstick either.

:Arwen slaps Aragorn causing him to fall of the bridge:

PJ: Cut!!! Cut!!! Cut!!! Ok who is responsible for this lipstick?!!

:Elrond and a make up artist snicker:

[Lily Bombadil]

I saw some blooper from a movie where the actor couldn't stop laughing because his line was so mean.

In Orthanc-

*"Saruman" is repeatedly attemping to beat the tar out of "Gandalf"*

Ian M: Gees, Christopher! I'll pay you if you'll just GET THE SCENE RIGHT!!
P.J: Here, here...
Christopher: *drops the staffs* I-I can't do this! *tears well up* I'm not a violent person! It's just not my nature.
Ian M: *coaxingly* C'mon, Chris. It's your character. It'll be alright. Just pretend I'm Obi Wan Kenobi, 'cause I know how much you hate Kenobi!
Christopher: Well...
Ian M: *snaps fingers & smiles* I'll buy you a smoothie.
Chistopher: *aspect changes at once* A smoothie you say? *turns sly* What kind of smoothie?
Ian M: Banana, 'cause I know how much you love bananas.
Christopher: Done deal! Okay, Pete, roll it! smilies/biggrin.gif

[ July 17, 2003: Message edited by: Lily Bombadil ]

[Meela]

I'm limiting Blooper Awards to either at the end of one of my own posts or at the end of a page or two in case the thread gets closed again. I didn't know if they were seen as appropriate or not, but I'm not taking any chances.

Ian M: *snaps fingers & smiles* I'll buy you a smoothie.
Chistopher: *aspect changes at once* A smoothie you say? *turns sly* What kind of smoothie?

That gets an award right now smilies/smile.gif

[Edie]

these are ALL VERY-VERY-VERY-FUNNY!!!!!!! lol! anywho.... since I'm posting, lets see what I can come up with....

********************************************
******************************************

*while gandalf in on top of isengard*

Saroman: well, I asked you nicely... sorry 'bout my naaaasty temper... honestly, PJ could have hired me for a less dramatic movie... You want some tea? or maybe I could come up with somthing a little stronger! I've got soem ale from ____(date goes here)___ what say we open one?

*time passes*

Saroman: I could make you some eggs if you like.

Gandalf:*coming up from behind* just tea, thank-you.

********************************************
what you have to remember through that is that Saroman is a bag guy
*************************************

Frodo: but the ring cannot stay here!

Gandalf: no,*comes in closer* no, it can't.

Frodo: *clenches his fist around the ring* what must I do?

Gandalf: you must leave, and leave quickly.

Frodo: are you sure? why couldn't I just throw it away?

Gandalf: I don't beleive those were your lines, Elijah, *turnes to PJ* were they?

PJ:no! and niether were those! I could fire you, you know!

Ian M.: really? that would be nice... does the fire come with marshmellows??

************************************************** ************************

more babling from me, yours truely, Edeline Telcontar smilies/biggrin.gif

[ July 18, 2003: Message edited by: Edie ]

[Lily Bombadil]

Marshmallows! Genius! Thank you for the Award, Meela! *begins to sing "We Are the Champions"*
On Weathertop, just as the Witch King is about to stab Frodo-

Frodo: Al-alright, it looks to me like we have some Ring issues here. What say we discuss this rationally over a cup of tea?
W.K: Mmm... Alright! *shrugs*
2 HOURS LATER....
Frodo: So-so then he said... y'all are out to get us!
Frodo & W.K: *point at Aragorn & laugh*
Aragorn: *rolls his eyes*
W.K: Out to get you?! *laughs heartily* I say, that's absolutely PREPOSTEROUS, old chap! Hmmm... You know, Frodo, old chap? I think there was something Saruman told me to do today... Ah well! It couldn't have been all that important; I've forgotten it already!
Frodo & W.K: *laugh merrily & carry on conversation*

(Guess what everyone? Last night I saw Elijah Wood in a movie when he was maybe 6 or 7 years old. Awwww... He was swimming in his underwear.)

[Lhunardawen]

I've got a theory on how the Ring was really destroyed...

Nazgul: Bagginsss!!!

Frodo: Nooo!!!

Sauron: Baggins!

Frodo: Hey, Sauron! I'm playing hide and seek with the Nazgul. Maybe you could help me hide.

Sauron: Sure...here, inside Mount Doom.
*Frodo jumps into Mount Doom*

Sauron: Not with the Ring, you fool!!!


smilies/evil.gif smilies/evil.gif smilies/evil.gif

[Everdawn]

In the scene when the fellowship leave Rivendell in the extended version.

Elrond: The ringbearer is setting out on a quest... (trails off, Aragorn is staring at Arwen.) **cough cough Aragorn, is there something you wish to share with the class?** (Agragorn regains his attention in Elrond's speech.


Elrond ctd.: No oath is laid to go further than you will... (Aragorn and Arwen at now back staring at each other.)

Elrond: Thats it!
Aragorn: What?
Elrond: Ive told you once, you listen to me, im the centre of attention when at Rivendell! buggeroff! just go, obviously the ranger thinks you dont need my long boring speech, off you go then, the lot of you!


-----


The next scene when they are walking form the bridge away from Imladris, you see Gimli stick out his leg and trip Legolas who falls into the waterfall.

[Meneltarmacil]

Arwen has just ridden off with Frodo.

*Glorfindel comes running up with a huge bruise on his head*

GLORFINDEL: Help! Somebody just hit me over the head and stole my horse!

[ July 22, 2003: Message edited by: Meneltarmacil ]

[Feared Half-Elf]

*In Helm's Deep, Legolas is busy firing arrows, Gimli is fighting next to him. Suddenly Legolas can't get an arrow out of his quiver.*

Legolas: Gimli?
Gimli: Yes?
Legolas: What exactly did you do with that bubblegum I gave you last night?
Gimli: Hehehehe.
Legolas: You didn't!?
Gimli: I did!
Legolas: I told you not to give it to Aragorn, no wonder he was dancing around in his pink fairy costume singing 'I'm a Little Teapot'!
Gimli: *Buries head in hands* (mutters)Why did I get stuck with the thick elf.
(to Legolas) I STUCK YOUR ARROW IN YOUR QUIVER!!!!
Legolas: *holding arrow in front of him with bubblegum stuck to the end, bewildered look on his face) Gimli? Are you sure you gave that bubblegum to Aragorn?
Gimli: I give up! *Walks out of picture in a huff*

I'm tired...

[Silmiel of Imladris]

Lothlorien: Haldir is leadig the Fellowship up the long flight to steps to see Celeborn and Galadirel.

Merry: How many more steps?!! :huff puff: I.. :huff puff:...can't take..:huff puff:..this...:huff puff:...anymore!

Boromir: I..have.. :huff puff:..got to start..:huff puff:...using that stairmaster...:huff puff: more.

Haldir: Oh stop your whinning were at the top!

:Merry, Pippin and Boromir hit the top few steps in relief but start rolling back down taking the Fellowship with them as they go. They all land in the heap at the bottom of the stairs:

:Haldir appears at the base of the stairs a few seconds later:

Haldir: Congratulations. Out of 2382 steps you only had 3 to go but now your back to square one.

Aragorn, Glimi, and Legolas: You stupid fat hobbits and fat man in a little coat!!!

[ July 22, 2003: Message edited by: Silmiel of Imladris ]

[ July 22, 2003: Message edited by: Silmiel of Imladris ]

[Lily Bombadil]

At Bag-end-
Frodo: What must I do?
Gandalf: You must head west for Kan-tuc-key.
Frodo: Tell me, sir, how is it that I must head west?
Gandalf: Well, you kind of face to the north and turn real sudden like to the left.
*Hawkeye and Duncan walk onto the set*
Hawkeye: You know, Duncan? Those sound alot like our lines.
Duncan: Yeah...
*Hawkeye takes the script*
Hawkeye & Duncan: Hey! These are our lines!
*The script cover reads The Last of the Mohicans*
(Back in North Carolina...)
Cora: A si i-duath u-orthor, Aagorn- Wait. That's not my line!

(Only works if you've seen The Last of the Mohicans and, yes, I do realize that it was filmed in the early '90's.)

[ July 24, 2003: Message edited by: Lily Bombadil ]

[Everdawn]

The charge led by Aragorn with the soldiers at helms deep..

Aragorn is running hard-out and then trips over a rock slamming into the ground, mud all over his clothes (uh, well that wouldnt be a change would it???)

Ah, its a really funny mental image, if you can get it into your head.


I still think the best blooper by far is one done by Meela (???) when they are at Lothlorien and Celeborn gets knocked over revealing him to be a cardboard cut out. I still remember it form the old thread.

[Meela]

I didn't write it, but it was super smilies/biggrin.gif

Checked: all praise goes to Aragorn52

[Everdawn]

Eeny meeny Denethor, catch a match and light the floor. If he squeals let him burn, then you'll know it's not his turn.



Meela youre sig is a blooper on its own... smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/tongue.gif smilies/biggrin.gif

[Lily Bombadil]

Okay, here I go again with the What if the LotR cast accidentally got the "Last of the Mohicans" script bloopers......

*Gimli is just about to jump off the bridge of Khazad-dum when P.J. stops him*
P.J: Cut! Cut! Cut! What is going on here?!
Viggo: Well, you see, our Gimli here is under the impression that he has to jump.
P.J: Why? And where's Legolas?
Viggo: *points down* At the bottom.
P.J: What is he doing there?!
Viggo: Well, you see, it all started when this orc comes out of nowhere, speaking Huron, and lays into Legolas with a tomahawk. He then throws him off the bridge. See, it says so here in the script.
*Sean Bean hands P.J. the script*
P.J: *looks it over* Alright... Sooo where's Frodo?
Viggo: Oh, he was burned at the stake about ten pages back.
*P.J. flips back ten pages*
P.J: Who the h*ll is Duncan?
*The Fellowship exchange confused glances and back in North Carolina Chingachgook stands on the cliff yelling, "You shall not pass!!!"* smilies/eek.gif
(I know, really weird, but it was so funny at the time & I put a lot of thought into this!)

[Lily Bombadil]

I must have another go. My cousin asked me to post this...

*In Moria, the Fellowship is sitting on the ground. Gandalf is smoking his pipe, Legolas is painting his nails, Gimli is sharpening his axe, Aragorn, Merry, & Pippin are playing poker, Frodo & Sam are swapping girlie secrets, and Boromir is picking his nose then looking at it(sorry that's gross). Suddenly, legions of orcs come out and surround the Fellowship.*

P.J: Cut! Why aren't you guys doing anything?
Orlando: 'Cause we read in the script that we survive.

[Everdawn]

Viggo: Oh, he was burned at the stake about ten pages back.
*P.J. flips back ten pages*
P.J: Who the h*ll is Duncan?

CLASSIC smilies/wink.gif


Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas and Gandalf the White are sitting on their horses talking about Edoras which lays before them.

Gandalf: Edoras, pretty much a hole... nothing around here for miles, not to mention any one. NO, its the most boring place in the world.

Suddenly riding past is a leather clad woman with raven hair being persued by a bad of ruffians.

Legolas: Who was that?

Aragorn: I think it was Xena.
Legolas: Really!
Gandalf: now now, we have to get to Edoras and tell them... something... actually why the hell are we in Edoras?
Gimli: Uh...
Aragorn: screw the ring, screw Merry and Pippin, screw Frodo and Sam, i want Xena's autograph!...

[Lily Bombadil]

screw the ring, screw Merry and Pippin, screw Frodo and Sam, i want Xena's autograph!...

That was the creme de la creme right there, Everdawn. I've got some more...

*Frodo, Sam, Merry, & Pippin are approaching Bree when they find that Bree is under attack. They sneak inside.*

Frodo: Barley! What's going on?!
Barley: I dunno, chappie. These French guys just started attacking us!
Frodo: Well then let's get P.J. to stop them!
Barley: *fires off a musket* No way, man! I'm havin' fun! Wooo! Whooo!!! The colors! The colors!
P.J: Stop! Stop!! STOP!!! My set! Oh, my beautiful set! D*mn French militia!
(Meanwhile, from the French point of view...)
Marquis: *with French accent* Magua, why do you attack this fort?
Magua: Magua does not know why his father's army attacks this fort. Magua's father say, 'It is in the script.'

I know; lame, huh? I'm trying really hard. Honest.

[ July 28, 2003: Message edited by: Lily Bombadil ]

[Daisy Brambleburr]

Here's one...

In Moria
Legolas: *gets out magnifying glass* After much deduction and deliberation I have come to the conclusion that this dwarf is...dead!
Aragorn: Legolas, have you been reading 'Sherlock Holmes' again?
Legolas: Elementary, my dear Aragorn!

And another...

In Fangorn
Aragorn: Wow Gandalf! You glow in the dark!
Gandalf: It's one of the perks of the job.

And yet another...

The Fellowship stop for rest.
Aragorn, Frodo, Merry, Pippin, Sam, Gandalf, Gimli: *get out pipes*
Legolas: *Tacks a large 'No Smoking' sign onto a tree and sits back looking smug.* It kills, you know!
Gimli: Stupid elf. He's immortal!

How about s'more?

Down the Anduin
Legolas: *Speeds past everyone in a high-power motor boat* Galadriel must love me! Look at my boat! Mwa a hahaha!
Gimli: Bah! All I got was a pedal-o!

Well, *they* were lame. But quite good fun all the same.

[Meela]

In Moria
Legolas: *gets out magnifying glass* After much deduction and deliberation I have come to the conclusion that this dwarf is...dead!
Aragorn: Legolas, have you been reading 'Sherlock Holmes' again?
Legolas: Elementary, my dear Aragorn!

Now that definitely deserves a Blooper Award! And perhaps several cookies.

[Daisy Brambleburr]

Lol, thanks Meela!

I used to have a whole bunch of bloopers that I reeled off but I deleted thm by accident (how stupid am I? Very.)
But here is another that I just thought of. When I first read it in the book I actually thought that they were going to do it and was quite dissapointed when they didn't.

On the way into Lothlorien.
Aragorn: Okay, okay, blindfold us all then.(sorry, I can't for the life of me remember what he actually says)
Haldir: *blindfolds Legolas, then the rest of the Fellowship*
Gimli: *consents for himself to be blindfolded*
Haldir: *blindfolds Gimli*
Rest of Fellowship: *Takes off their blindfolds and walk along sniggering*

har har...

I love bloopers.

[Lily Bombadil]

In the extended FotR...
*Frodo and Sam are watching the elves from behind a fallen tree*

Frodo: Sam, get your hand off my butt.
Sam: Sorry, Mr Frodo. It was an accident.
Frodo: *testily* It's still there...
Sam: It's still an accident!
Frodo: Sam, it's still there!!
Sam: He, he, yeah.... smilies/evil.gif

[polices]

Heres 1 just 1.

*Lurtz prepares to hit Boromir with an arrow*
Out of nowhere a huge earthquake strikes and sends boromir plunging down the hill and into the water.
Boromir: *Cough* *Cough* Note to self never EVER give hobbits dynamite.
Merry:*completely chared*Lets do another.

[Himaran]

Gimli: What are we waiting for?

Swings axe at the ring, misses and hits his foot.

[Lily Bombadil]

I'm not sure if this is in the movie, but it's in the book (TTT):
Uruk: Lie quiet, or I'll tickle you with this! *displays a big knife*
Pippin: Meeeep! *scared*
Uruk: Alright! You know what THIS means!
*Uruk starts tickling Pippin with the knife*
Pippin: Da, ha, ha! Da, ha, ha! Oooh!! That TICKLLLLES!!!

[Arwen Evenstar]

The Fellowship of the Ring are leaving Lothlorien in their boats. Galadriel`s swan boat comes toward them.

ARAGORN: Awwwwwwwww! We can`t stop! We`re going to fast! Out of the way!

CELEBORNE: What in the Shire is that?!

FELLOWSHIP: WHOA!!!
THUD!!!
There boat rams into the swan boat and Galadriel falls into the water.

[Tymezennith]

Merry comes along with his pint and sits down.
Pippin: What's that?
Merry: This, my friend is a pint!
*Fly buzzes out of pint, weaving and zig zagging*
*Merry looks in pint to see if there are more bugs, and a moth hits him on the forehead.*

[Naurwen_of_Lothlorien]

I don't know if anyone will really understand these but they sprung into my mind last night and made me giggle.

*on Caradhras, Boromir shouts up to Gandalf*

Boromir: We cannot go on, this will be the death of the hobbits!!

Gandalf: Sharpe observation.

Everyone except Boromir: *Snigger*

Boromir: ?

*Council of Elrond*

*Gimli tries to chop the ring in half but his axe breaks. He turns to look at Boromir, grinning widely*

Gimli: Maybe my axe wasn't Sharpe enough!

Everyone except Boromir: *Laughs heartily*

Boromir: What...? What!?

*In Moria.*

Boromir: They have a Cave Troll!

Gandalf: Those Sharpe critters!

Everyone except Boromir: *Laughs loudly*

Boromir: *Bangs head on cave wall*

*Boromir tries to take the ring from Frodo who whips out Sting and points it at Boromir*

Frodo: Careful, Boromir...it's Sharpe...

*Everyone jumps out of no where and starts laughing*

Boromir: *Starts crying from confusion*

*Boromir has just been hit by the three arrows and he falls down. Aragorn kneels down by him and puts his hand on his shoulder...*

Aragorn: ...not as Sharpe as you used to be, are you Boromir...

Everyone: *Laughs*

Merry and Pippin: *From the distance they can be heard screaming with laughter*

Boromir: *Dies*

*They've put Boromir in that smart boat thing and he's about to go over the waterfall*

Legolas: Wow...I hope he isn't still alive...those rocks look Sharpe...

Everone: *Sniggers*

Gimli: I'll miss his Sharpe dress sense

Everyone: *Chortles*

Aragorn: I bet those arrows were Sharpe!

Legolas: Enough.

[Lily Bombadil]

Naurwen, after a while I just began to laugh at those bloopers because I didn't get them. When you say, Sharpe, how is that pronounced? Sharpie, or Sharp? I still don't get it... *shakes head*

While I'm here...

In Lorien...

Gimli: Well, you know what this dwarf says to that? Ishka *anybody who knows, fill in the blanks*!
Aragorn: *gasp* Gimli!
Gimli: What?
Haldir: *stunned expression* ...doy!
Gimli: What did I just tell him?
Legolas: You just asked... everybody... to pick up their elven swords... and shave your butt!
Gimli: I said that?
Legolas, Aragorn, & Boromir: *nod*

Poor Haldir! What a disturbing ordeal! smilies/eek.gif

[spirit_detective]

it's sharpe...hehehe I get it.

*while walking thorugh Lothlorien*

Legolas: *runs up to a tree and hugs it* HUG A TREE DAILY!

Frodo: What's his problem?

Aragorn: I think he spent too much time in the mines of Moria.

-^-^-^-^

-Whhile 'dead' Boromir is going over the falls, he suddenly sits up and lifts his hands over his ehad as if going down a rollercoaster.-
Boromir: weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

-^-^-^-^
-while in Gandalf's, the horse suddenly starts going crazy and takes off, throwing Gandalf out of the cart and leaving frodo stuck on there alone.-
Frodo: weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

-^-^-^
-While Sam is walking home with Frodo, he drank a little too much so he falls over and starts rolling down the hill.
Frodo: say 'weeee!' sam! say 'weeeee!'

[Evisse the Blue]

ROTFL-Naurwen!
"Still Sharpe, eh?"

[Silmiel of Imladris]

Lily, Sean Bean used to do commercials for Sharpe Electronics. I hope that helps. smilies/biggrin.gif Now lets see here...

Aragorn: Now these are strange tracks.

Legolas: Aragorn those are the mud angels you made two minutes ago!

[Evisse the Blue]

I don't know about the commercials, but Sean Bean is probably most famous for playing the starring role in a series about a British Officer called Richard Sharpe. There was also an in-joke in FOTR, when Boromir picks the shards of Narsil and says: "Still Sharpe."

[spirit_detective]

*while on the mountain top blizzard thing*

Gandalf: sorry guys. wrong mountain.


and that's all the creativity I have for today.

legolas: hug a tree daily!

be quiet.

legolas: *pouts*

[Lily Bombadil]

Thank you Naurwen. The knowledge makes the blooper sweeter.

Okay, The Fellowship is asleep in Lothlorien.

Legolas & Gimli are having a convergent dream. In this dream.... *insert misty appearance*
Gimli: Legolas? What are you doing here?
Legolas: I'm here to make all your dreams come true.
Gimli: But... I am dreaming!
Legolas: Shut up, dwarf-boy! *tries to kiss Gimli*
Gimli: AAARGH!!! *wakes up*
Legolas: *wakes up (so he thinks)* Oh yeah.... *thumbs up & winks*
Legolas: *really wakes up* Holy cr*p!
*Gimli & Legolas act weird around each other for the rest of their time in Lorien*
At the boats...
Legolas: I am NOT riding in a boat with HIM! *points at Gimli*
Aragorn: What happened? You guys were such good friends!
Gimli: Oh sure! He'd like that wouldn't he?! *points at Legolas*
*They sit EXTREMELY far away from each other in their boat*
On Amon-hen...
Aragorn: We cannot allow Merry & Pippin to torment to death! Okay!! GROUP HUG!!!
*They group hug. Then Legolas & Gimli snap to their senses*
Legolas & Gimli: *together, at each other* Alright! Now you've gone too far! Don't touch me! Freak! Sicko!

[Arien_Tinuviel]

hehehehee! those are great! spirit! *glomps spirit_detective* so this is where you ran off to!

frodo: Uh, Gandalf, I think I left the ring in Bree.
-Frodo had failed earlier to tell Gandalf of his little faux par- ^^

[Naurwen_of_Lothlorien]

Awww! I'm glad you all liked my bloopers smilies/biggrin.gif

Okay, how about this:

Sam and Frodo have just been bumped into by Merry and Pippin and they've fallen down the hill into the road. Suddenly, Frodo hears and senses something evil...

Frodo: I think we should get off the road....GET OFF THE ROAD!!

They all run and hide under the tree root.
The evil creature grows nearer until it's right behind them...thats when they hear the chilling sounds...

Creature: Hey dol! merry dol! ring a don dillo!
Ring a don! hop along! fal lol the willow~
Tom Bom, jolly Tom, Tom Bombadillo!

Frodo: ...its more terrifying then I first imagined...

Pippin: *Mouthful of mushroom* Wha' ish it?

Frodo: Even the wisest cannot tell...oops sorry, I mean: I do not know.

Tom Bombadil:Hey! Come merry dol! derry dol! My darling!
Light goes the weahter-wind and the feathered starling.
Down along under Hill, shining in the sunlight,
waiting on the doostep for the cold starlight,

Suddenly the Ring Wraith comes along and drags Tom off.

Tom: Nooooo!! No!! I'm supposed to be here!! Arrrrrgh!! *Kicks and fights*

The Wraith succesfully drags him off and comes back to Frodo and co.

Frodo: Wow, thanks. You saved our lives, man! Err...

Merry: Buckleberry ferry!!!! *Runs off*

Frodo, Sam and Pippin: *Follow*

[ElenCala Isil]

*snicker, snicker*
hmm... let's see...

*The Flight to The Ford*
Arwen: Frodo, I am Arwen. Listen to my voice, come back to the light.
*Frodo opens his eyes*
Frodo: AHHHHHH! HOLY CRAP NOT YOU AGAIN!!!!! DANG IT WHERE IN MIDDLE-EARTH DID GLORFINDEL GO?!!!
Eh..heh.. I mean *Groans of pain*
Aragorn:Stay here with the hobbits.
Arwen:No, I want to fondle the hobbits tie- no no no, I mean I am the faster rider!
Aragorn:Sure, whatever...*smacks forehead* Oy, I can't believe I'm going to marry a tie-fondler.. *shakes head* Arwen, ride hard.
*on Asfaloth*
Arwen:Noro lim Asfaloth, now I've got you little hobbit!! bwahahaha
Frodo:That was so not in the script.. *more groaning*
Nazgûl: Give up the halfling, she-elf!
Arwen: *drawing out her sword* NEVER! His tie is MINE!!!!! Nin o Chithaeglir, lasto beth daer; Rimmo nin Bruinen dan in Ulaer...Nin o Chithaeglir, lasto beth daer; Rimmo nin Bruinen dan in Ulaer!!!
Frodo:Oh man, I'm toast.. I mean.. *more groaning, fainty movement*
Arwen:No! Frodo! Not yet!! What grace has given me, give me one more thing... let me fondle his tie!!! I mean, let it pass to him.
Frodo: *suddenly standing up* ENOUGH WOMAN! In case you haven't noticed.... I'M NOT WEARING A TIE!!!! *gets up and runs all the way to the house of elrond, seemingly unharmed.*
Arwen: *still at the ford* Darn, I could have sworn he was the one...hmm... maybe that little hobbit has a tie... if not, I'm sure he has a scarf!! *runs back to stalk Pippin*

[ August 15, 2003: Message edited by: ElenCala Isil ]

[Arien_Tinuviel]

hehe, I can see it now: Pippin Stalkers Anonymous *giggles hysterically*

[Lily Bombadil]

What is up with that scarf?! It's everywhere! My little sister even refers to it as Scarfie!

Okay, in Moria...
Gandalf: Annon edhellen, edro hi ammen!
Pippin: Well, what're you gonna do now, Gandalf?
Gandalf: Nothing, yet. I have to think. But if you keep on talking, Peregrin Took, I'll use you as a hobbit battering ram!
*Pippin shuts up. Gandalf tries every spell he knows to no avail*
Gandalf: *bleep, bleep, bleep!!* Well, Peregrin Took, you know what THIS means!!!
Pippin: But I didn't talk!
Gandalf: Ah! You just did!
*Gandalf picks Pippin up and rams his head against the Doors of Durin. They crack, crumble, and collapse*
Gandalf: Well, gang, we're in!
*the Fellowship walks inside. Pippin is staggering around like a zombie*
Pippin: *stupidly* Where's the leak, ma'am?

[Lily Bombadil]

In the Prancing Pony...

Strider: Are you frightened?
Frodo: Yes.
Strider: Not nearly frightened enough. I know what hunts you.
*There is a knock at the door*
Sam, Merry, & Pippin: *from outside* Frodooo!! We're both respecting your privacy, by knocking, and asserting our authority, as you friends, by coming in anywayyyy!!
*Using Pippin as a battering ram, they burst through the door*

As you've noticed, I do a lot of rip-offs. But that's okay as long as they're funny. I hope they're funny... Are they funny? Err... I have problems.

[Arien_Tinuviel]

you got that off Fairly Odd Parents didn't you?

oh well, it's all good!


-oh look a shroom!-

[Lily Bombadil]

Yes I did, Arien_Tinuviel. I'm hip! *starts to eat out of her cereal bowl like a dog*

Okay, sorry. Well, here's another F.O.P. rip off...
Frodo and Sam are walking throught the Dead Marshes...
Sam: It's quiet. Too quiet.
Frodo: Aaand it's wet! Too wet!

My mother said it would be funny if the Fellowship engaged in a Fart-contest in the mines of Moria, because they like the echo. Then, when the orcs come out, they all die from the smell and the Fellowship gets out without a scratch.

Elennar, your hiccup idea on page one gave me an idea....

Celeborn: *hic* there are here, yet *hic* there were set out from *hic*endell. Tell me where is *hic*dalf? For I much desire to *hic* with him.

[Everdawn]

Gandalf at the gates of Moria.
Gandalf: Annon edhellen, edro hi ammen!
Boromir: im beginning to think that isnt even real talk.
Legolas: Its not. Hes had to much to drink.
Boromir: Then what have we been doing here all this time?
Legolas: Sitting here and looking pretty for my fangirls.

Ok something from Scary Movie.

When Frodo is resting in the bedroom in Rivendell, you see Sam, Gandlaf and Elrond standing over him as well as the movie cameras. Frodo wakes up.
Frodo: Oh! S**t! Im on TV! First cops, now this! Im gonna be a star son!
Gandalf: Are you sure your elf magic worked?
Elrond: He's sicker than we thought...

[ August 21, 2003: Message edited by: Everdawn ]

[spirit_detective]

the hiccup thing is hilarious *almost dies laughing* AT (arien_tinuviel) makes me watch f.o.p. every time we're at her house and it drives me crazy! but then if it's 5:30pm, we watch YYH. ^^


*Nazgul approach the hobbits at Weathertop and weild sporks*

Sam: It's the dreaded sporks of doom!

Frodo: run away!

hobbits: run away!


-^-^-^-^

Aragorn to riders of rohan: you're not really riding horses.

ror: what?

aragorn: you've got coconuts and you're bangin' 'em together!

-^-^-^
Balrog at the bridge of khazad-dum: answer me these questions three, and the other side you shall see.

gandalf: this is gonna be a long night...

I know I'm totally ripping off monty python, but, I could not resist! hehehee

[Meneltarmacil]

I know I'm totally ripping off monty python, but, I could not resist! hehehee
That's OK. I quote Monty Python a LOT in New Movie Script (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=17&t=000678).

[spirit_detective]

yeah, I quote stuff from all sorts of movies and all my friends (except AT) tell me I watch too many movies.....

[Arwen Melian]

My friend an I came up with this. For some reason it had us laughing for no reason in the middle of Math class(arrg math yuck!).The looks we got....:

After Frodo accidently puts on the Ring in the Prancing pony Inn and all the Nazgul see him and race towards the inn:
A high voice with a scottish accent:
"You cannot hide.....I see you!"
Frodo shields his eyes and has a look of confusion on his face when he sees a huge blue eye in the space ahead of him.
the voice with the scottish accent: "There is no life, in the void ...only death!...Wait ....thats not nice!"
Frodo:"Pippin?" Frodo asks in utter bewilderment.
The voice with the Scottish accent:"Frodo? What are you doing here?" He asks in confusion.
Then the eye just fades out and Frodo shakes his head, both scared and befuddled; taking the ring off.Then he reappears in the inn under a table and Aragorn grabs him.
Aragorn :"You draw far too much attention to yourself Mr.Underhill!
When Aragorn brings Frodo into his room, Frodo inquires from him, oblivious too the danger Aragorn might pose:
Frodo smilies/biggrin.gifid you see that?
Aragorn :See what? Isn't you're line:"Who are you?" And you made me skip a line myself. I-
Just then, Sam, Merry, and Pippin burst into the room.
Sam:"Let him go , or I'll have you long shanks!"
The same lines are exchanged that should have been, but Frodo meets Pippins eyes nervously. Pippin could hardly bear it and he looks away. Thoughout the rest of the movie, production and their lives they avoid the subject and it does'nt come up again. To this day no one knows why Pippin was the eye of Sauron for that moment, and only Frodo and Pip themselves know of the occurance. smilies/smile.gif

[ElenCala Isil]

What is up with that scarf?! It's everywhere! My little sister even refers to it as Scarfie!
That'd be scarvie... smilies/tongue.gif and here's what's up with it. Wee Scarvies™! (http://www.jennie.8k.com/catalog.html)

[Lily Bombadil]

That'd be scarvie

Actually no. My sister didn't get it from anywhere. She just refers to it as "Scarfie" when she makes up things about Pippin.

Here's something I've been trying to remember to post:

At the council....

Frodo: Well... wait. How should we carry the Ring?
Legolas: I know! We can put it around Gimli's neck!
*The Ring expands and they slip it over Gimli's head. the Ring tightens up*
Legolas: There!
Gimli: *choke, cough* Can't... breathe.....! *gasps, turns blue, & passes out*

Another council idea... (When Elrond runs out of ideas...)
Elrond: Nine companions... So be it. You shall be the.... Ah screw it; just go!

Therefore the book title would be:

The Lord of the Rings: The Ah Screw It Just Go

[Lily]

*Frodo and company are running through the froest while the Ringwraiths are chasing them."

Frodo: We must make it to Buckleberry Fairy!

Ringwraith: Ssssss After them..sss

*Suddenly the chicken dance out of no where starts to play!*

Ringwraith: Whatssss that?

Other Ringwraith: IT"S THE CHICKEN DANCE!

*All the Ringwraiths do the chicken dance. Frodo and company come back and watch for a min. then they do the chicken dance too. Then the music stops and the hobbits dart.*

(Don't know if it's really funny. But I thought it would be a good blooper)

*The end of FOTR*

Aragon:We will not leave Pippin and Merry to torment and death.

Legolas: Nor Elizabeth! Oops! Wrong movie!

Jackie Chan: Where's the medalion?

*They look at him*

Jackie Chan: So sorry *He flies away*

(I don't know about that one either...)

[ElenCala Isil]

ahh I see... okay smilies/wink.gif ah screw it just go... hmm, interesting...

Gimli: Then it is over, the "Ah screw it" has failed.

[Silmiel of Imladris]

You would have had to see the LOTR verison wireless commerical to get this.

Orcs are using a battering ram to get into Helms Deep. On the other side verison guy blocks the door.

Guy talking into cell phone: Can you hear me now? Good!

Suddenly Aragorn and Legolas tackle the verison guy.

Legolas: Give us the cell phone!!

Aragorn: Yeah! Elrond wouldn't help us so I am calling his mother in law to chew him out! No you stupid phone I don't want to text message! And and I want to send a picture so I can show her the deep ship we are in!

[Thalionmar]

GANDALF: Be on your guard! There are older and fouler things than Peter Jackson in the deep places of the world.

[ August 26, 2003: Message edited by: Thalionmar ]

[Thalionmar]

BILBO: Gandalf Greyhame!!! Do not take me for some blockheaded bracegirdle from hardbottle!!!

(Room goes dark as Bilbo says this and Gandalf cowers away.)

[Everdawn]

Lily that was tops, my mother ame in to see what i was laughing about!

The first one is something which i suppose only australians that watch the footy show would get, and since we are a minority here i guess it will fail.. but here goes...

Boromir: Give them a moment for pitys sake!

Aragorn: Look Boromir.. He's gooooone!
Legolas: (joind in) Gooone
Gimli and the hobbits: GOOONE!
All start laughing and remember they are supposed to be sad.


In Lothlorien..

Galadriel: The quest stands upon the edge of a knife, stray but a-
Galadriel is giving her speech when they hear the ringtome to "slave 4 u" by Britney Spears...

...All eyes spring to Celeborn.
Celeborn: Sorry, i forgot to turn my mobile off...
Answers it..
Celeborn: Wasssup!!!!!!
Cuts to- Elrond in Rivendell...
Elrond: Wasssssup!!!!
Celeborn: Nuthun, just chilin...

Galadriel walks over takes the phone and throws it off the trees into the depth below..
Galadriel: now.. where was i? oh yes.. Stray but a little and you will fail to the ruin of all...

[Arothir]

(The elves come to the aid of Rohan at Helm's Deep) Haldir: Hey, if we're here, who's in Lorien?
(Messenger comes from Lorien)
Messenger:Sir, lorien has been burned by Wraiths!

[Lily Bombadil]

At Helm's Deep, Aragorn walks up and hugs Haldir.
Haldir: What is this strange emotion I feel? It is all warm and... fuzzy...
Elven warrior: It's, uh, love... sir.
Haldir: Love? LOVE?! Love is for pansies! I do not feel love! *Haldir makes grossed-out faces at the thought of love*

At Helm's Deep, Aragorn takes the boy's sword & swings it around.
Aragorn: Your sword sucks. Go back to your cave!

In Isengard, Grima steps up to the cauldron of gunpowder.
Grima: I don't understand, my lord. How can this- *Grima accidentally drops the candle into the gunpowder*
Saruman: Grima, you little sh-
*Isengard blows up.*

In Rohan, the dudes throw Grima down the palace steps.
Grima: *faintly from the bottom* I'm O-K...

[Meneltarmacil]

At Helm's Deep, Aragorn takes the boy's sword & swings it around.
Aragorn: Your sword sucks. Go back to your cave!
Hahaha I have an even better one for that.

*Aragorn takes the boy's sword and swings it around.*
ARAGORN: You have a good blade, Haleth son of *looks down* ooooops.
*finds out that while he was swinging the sword around he accidentally chopped the boy's head off with it*

[Finwe]

*Aragorn takes the boy's sword and swings it around, and the blade falls off and goes whizzing through the air, hitting the random old guy with one eye, and causing him to release his arrow*

(I know the timing is horribly off, but bear with me.)


What really started the Battle at Helm's Deep

Aragorn: Oooops!!!! *in a nasal voice* Did I do thaaat?

(All Urkel fans will get this one).

[Feared Half-Elf]

Ok, here's my version.

*At Helm's Deep*
*Aragorn takes boy's sword, swings it around and lets go. It flys through the air and hits Legolas on the walls.*

Legolas: Ouch! *(Imagine Shrek when Fiona has dragged the arrow from his butt!)*
Aragorn: That's what I think of both Legolas and your sword. Go get a new one.

[Lily Bombadil]

Thank you, Meela! *graciously accepts the award and adds it to her collection*

Haleth: Some of the men are saying that we have no chance. They say we will not make it through the night.
Aragorn: *suspiciously* Who told you that?
Haleth: An elf, my lord.
Aragorn: *evilly* Legolasss......

*Haldir leads the elven warriors into Helm's Deep*
Aragorn: Thank the Valar you're here! Things were starting to look hopeless!
Haldir: Actually, we're just here to watch.
*In one synchronized motion, the warriors pull out popcorn and reclining La-z-boy chairs and sit down*
Haldir: I taught them that. *points*

[Lily Bombadil]

Oh, thank you soooo MUCH, Meela! I am so honored to accept this Blooper Award of 2003. Okay, I'd like to thank Meela, all of the other Downers, O and of course J.R.R. Tolkien and Peter Jackson. Without these people, my imagination would not be so cunning. Here's another Blooper, just for the love of it:

*In Edoras... Gandalf the White expels Saruman from Theoden*

Gandalf: Breathe the free air, my friend.
Theoden: Oh, thanks! 'Cause before I had to pay for it!

[Oddwen]

Scene: Edoras, Theodred's death bed.

Grima: But you are alone. Who knows what you've spoken to the dark night, when all your life seems to shrink. And the walls of your hut close about you, a hutch to trammel some wild thing in. How 'bout it, baby? Will you be my wild thing?

Eowyn: EEEWWW!! *slap*

That's what I think watching that scene, anyway.

Grima: Was it something I said?

[Everdawn]

Ok here goes.

Grima: But you are alone. Who knows what you've spoken to the dark night, when all your life seems to shrink. And the walls of your hut close about you, a hutch to trammel some wild thing.

Éowyn: (bursting out in tears) Oh! ive been waiting for someone to understand! Thankyou Grima! (falls into his arms)

Grima: Okay.. um... are you high or something? I diddnt acctually expect you to do that...

Éowyn: oh, right... (walks away)

Grima: D'oh!

[Lily Bombadil]

Grima: Oh, but you are alone. Who knows what you've spoken to the darkness, in the bitter watches of the night. When all your life seems to shrink. And the walls of your bower closing in about you-
Eowyn: Alright! No more acting!
*Grima rips off his mask revealing him to be Aragorn. He and Eowyn start making out*
*Dead Theodred awakens*
Theodred: Alright, this is just disgusting! *Gets off the bed and walks out of the room*

[ September 09, 2003: Message edited by: Lily Bombadil ]

[Naurwen_of_Lothlorien]

Okay, I'm going to try again.

At the beginning of the Two Towers:

Sam: It's the ring isn't it?

Frodo: It's getting heavier...it started with Uriah heap...now it's onto The Rolling Stones...next...it'll be Black Sabbath...

Sam: ...


I have more if you want...

Another?

[Goldberry]

I hope this one hasn't been done already:

Gandalf: YOU SHALL NOT PASS! *slams staff down hard, hitting his foot*
Gandalf: OWWWWW!!!! *hops up and down, crying*

Ok, this one was taken from my brother's LotR parody movie, Lord of the Hat.

Sam: This is it.
Frodo: This is what?
Sam: If I take one more step, it'll be the farthest away from home I've ever been.
Frodo: Come on, Sam.
Sam: But if I take one more step, it'll be the farthest away from home I've ever been!
Frodo: Come on, Sam!
Sam: But if I take one more step, it'll be the farthest away from home I've ever been!
Frodo: Hurry up, Sam!
Sam: But if I take one more step, it'll be the farthest away from home I've ever been!
Frodo: Come on already, Sam!
Sam: But if I take one more step, it'll be the farthest away from -
*Merry and Pippin appear out of Farmer Maggot's crops, knocking into Sam and pushing him ahead*

Ok, a litte strange, but I thought it was funny at least. smilies/rolleyes.gif smilies/tongue.gif

[One Axe to Rule them All]

RoTK Instead of self-immolation, denethor jumps out a window.

*Cart-guy* Bring out your dead!
*Guardsman* Here's one ^starts to hand over denethor^
*Denethor* I'm not dead yet..
*Guardsman* Of course you are. Here he is sir.
*cart-guy* I can't take him if he's not dead.
*Guardsman* Oh come on, he's going to be dead in a few minutes... Just take him.
*Denethor* No really, i'm getting better..
*Guardsman* ^hits denethor over head with stick^ Here he is
*Cart Guy* Thank you.

Bring out your Dead!

[Arothir]

Scene in TTT where Merry and Pippin are near Fangorn forest
Merry:They say something in the water made the Trees come alive.

Pippin: Uh-oh.(He begins to grow a trunk and leaves)

[Rose Cotton]

I just was watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail and thought of this:

Elrond: There shall be nine companions.
No more. No less.
Nine shall be the number of companions,
and the number of companions shall be nine.
There shall not be ten companions.
Neither shall there be eight,
exepting that it is joined by a ninth.
Eleven is right out.
And once there are nine companions,
you shall be the Fellowship of the.....*Elrond stops after relizing everyone got fed up with him and left*

Here's a Lion King blooper:

Frodo: What must I do?
Gandalf: Run! Run away and never return!

This one's from a parody me and my brother have been working on:

*the breaking of the fellowship*
*the fellowship rests on the banks of the Anduin*
Frodo: Great! Just great!
Legolas: What?
Frodo: I got bored on that stupid raft [yes, they floated down the river on a raft] so i decided to read the script.
Gimli: So?
Frodo: It says when we reach this point I have to decide to go to Mordor by myself.
Aragorn: You mean we have to stay here?
Frodo: Ya.
Everyone exept frodo: YAY!
Sam: Well you better get going Frodo. Don't let us hold you up. Mordor is that way right?
Merry: Go on, Frodo. We're cheering you on.
Pippin: Ya, don't forget to write!
Frodo: No! Wait! I don't want to go to Mordor! *runs into the forest*
Boromir: GET HIM!

That's it. For now.... smilies/wink.gif

[Evisse the Blue]

Gotta love those Monty Python ones!
Gandalf: Breathe the free air, my friend.
Theoden: Oh, thanks! 'Cause before I had to pay for it!
LOL -snort, hehehe! This was hilarious for me...

[Meneltarmacil]

Since Meela has moved up to "champion awards", I hereby proclaim myself the new official Hander-Outer of the Blooper Awards.
And the first one goes to the blooper shown below.
Gandalf: YOU SHALL NOT PASS! *slams staff down hard, hitting his foot*
Gandalf: OWWWWW!!!! *hops up and down, crying*
And now for more mindless hilarity.
*Gandalf the White makes his appearance*
ARAGORN: It..cannot...be!
GANDALF: Actually, it isn't.
*takes off his Gandalf costume and reveals himself as...
TOM BOMBADIL: Hey dol! Merry dol! Ring a dong dillo! Tom Bom, jolly Tom, Tom Bombadillo!
*Aragorn pushes Tom into the mud and keeps going*
Oh well, I thought it was funny...

[ September 07, 2003: Message edited by: Meneltarmacil ]

[Shire Flower]

Aragorn and Arwen ones...

Aragorn kisses Arwen. Suddenly she screams, frantically waves the air in front of her nose, becomes deathly ill and dies. Aragorn looks on in shock. Elrond wanders in and sees his daughter dead. He sniffs the air, gags and puts a piece of cloth over his nose. "The Black Breath...." he sputters. "ARAGORN, GET SOME BREATH MINTS!!!!"

Aragorn is now king of Gondor! He's so excited - now he'll get to marry the girl of his dreams! He decides to wash his greasy hair to impress her. He shows up at her place early and rings the bell. Arwen comes to the door without any makeup on. She sees him with clean hair and he sees her without any makeup. They both scream and die of heart attacks, as the shock is just too great. Due to the death of Isidur's heir, Pippin is made the new king of Gondor.

Aragorn is floating in the river, dreaming of Arwen. They are kissing. Suddenly, Aragorn seems confused. Arwen seems to have grown facial hair and she smells like a stable. Aragorn's eyes pop open, and he discovers that he's been kissing his horse. (That's what I was thinking when I watched the movie.)

[One Axe to Rule them All]

The fellowship encounters the Balrog in the Mines of Moria.

*Gandalf* Leave! Swords of are no more use here.


*Aragorn* Bring forth... The Holy Hand Grenade!

[Goldberry]

Thank you for the award, Meneltarmacil! I'm honoured smilies/biggrin.gif (even though Meela outlawed your award-giving smilies/tongue.gif)

I am getting a laugh out of all of these bloopers that y'all have posted. Quite funny! smilies/biggrin.gif

[Meneltarmacil]

HEY! Get off my awards!! They're copyrighted and only I can give them out!
Whoa, whoa, hold on just a minute! *backs off so he won't get his head chopped off* I was only saying that since you're apparently done handing out awards until like next year or something, then I'd handle the ordinary, non-champion awards... oh well. Sorry about that anyway.
Pippin is made the new king of Gondor.
I feel pretty sorry for all those poor Gondorians... smilies/wink.gif smilies/biggrin.gif

[ September 08, 2003: Message edited by: Meneltarmacil ]

[Lily Bombadil]

I realize that 'The Return of the King' has not yet been released into theatres, but my sister and I got the Frodo & Sam dressed as goblins action figures and thought of this...
Frodo: Sam! What is up with you? Stop twitching and come on!
Sam: Sorry, Mr Frodo. It's these orc boxers. They're chafing.

At the end of 'The Two Towers', Sam and Frodo happen to catch Smeagol/Gollum planning to kill them.
Sam: I'm not gonna say I told you so, Mr Frodo, but I told you so.

[Everdawn]

Theodred: Alright, this is just disgusting! *Gets off the bed and walks out of the room* hehehe Lily, that was a good one!!!!!


Grima: Láthspell i name you, ill news is an ill guest.
Háma: *jumping out and pointing an accusing finger at Gandalf: He turned me into a newt!
Grima: *sceptical look*
Háma: I got better!


Legolas ion the middle of battle in Helm's Deep, goes up to the keep where Aragorn and Gimli are fighting the orcs trying to break through the door. **Goes up and knocks on the door** "Hello? can i borrow a cup of sugar"
Aragorn: Whats up with him?
Gimli: National Blonde day, go figure...

[Oddwen]

Scene: Just before the Black Gate

Sam: Mr. Frodo, I think I can see a way down! *he leans too far over and starts surfing down on the rock*
Sam: Woohoo! Top this, Legolas!

Or:

Sam: Mr. Frodo, I think I can see a way down! *he leans too far over and falls down*
Frodo: Sam!
*Sam keep rolling...and rolling and rolling. The entire army of easterlings is taken out, the Morannon is smashed, and he topples of Barad-Dur*
Frodo: Wow.
Sam: *coming back up* Whew! I always knew me Gaffer's home cookin' would come in handy!

[The Only Real Estel]

I think I saw this on another thread in the movie forums, so if you're here, & I stole it, then to bad! smilies/evil.gif Heh, hopefully it hasn't been used before:

Sam: "It's the Ring, isn't it?"

Frodo: "No, MY TROUSERS ARE TO TIGHT!"

Heh smilies/cool.gif

[Naz]

Hopefully this wasn't stolen...

*Helm's Deep*

Olympic Berserker!

(olympic theme plays)

Ary: Kill him Legolas!

(arrow hits berserker)

Uruk: *gasp* Jimmy!

Ary: KILL HIM LEGOLAS!!

(second arrow hits Jimmy)

Uruk: *gasp* Jimmy!

(olypic music speeds up as Jimmy runs & jumps & blows up himself & the Deeping Wall)

smilies/biggrin.gif My brother & I did this while watching my TTT DVD^ ^ Actually, I MST3Ked the whole movie...

[Lily Bombadil]

I'm stealing this from my sister because I know she'll never post it. But if she decides to I'll delete it & you guys can act none the wiser, okay?

In Osgiliath, the boulder smashes through the tower.
Faramir: Oh, man! My dad was in there!

But here's one I made up:
On the way to Osgiliath...
Frodo: Faramir, I really hafta pee. Can we stop so I can go?
*Faramir ignores him and one of his men picks Frodo up and hustles him along*
Frodo: Faramir! You must let me go!!!!

While Sam is stewing the conies:
Smeagol: Aaaargh!!! What's it doing?!! Stupid... fat... hobbit!!! You ruins it!!!!
*Fed up with being picked at about his weight, Sam picks up Smeagol and hurls him into a ravine* *Frodo looks up*
Frodo: Where's Smeagol?
Sam: *shrugs* I dunno...

[Oddwen]

(I MST3k them too...constantly... smilies/wink.gif )

(Back to FotR)
Scene: Rivendell, Gandy and Elrond are having their little "discussion"

E: And Saruman, you tell me, has betrayed us. Our list of allies grows theen! Like butter scraped over too much bread. I need a holiday, Gandalf...a very long holiday.

Scene: The Council of Elrond.

E: Strangers from distant lands, friends of old. I like half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.


(Both of those courtesy of my sister and brother [Oliphaunts_Rule and Tweak])

Grima: Láthspell i name you, ill news is an ill guest.
Háma: *jumping out and pointing an accusing finger at Gandalf: He turned me into a newt!
Grima: *sceptical look*
Háma: I got better!

Great one, Everdawn! (Though I think good ol' Gandy forgot to change Wormtongue back from a newt, if you follow me.)

[ September 09, 2003: Message edited by: Oddwen ]

[Elennar Starfire]

Aragorn's dramatic entrance to Helm's Deep

Aragorn pushes both doors open and starts to walk in, but there is a bar in the way which he runs into and knocks himself out.

I hope you all know of the kind of door I'm referring to. I got the idea for this because I wanted to do that at school, but all the doors have bars down the middle, so I can't. smilies/frown.gif

[One Axe to Rule them All]

Um, Oddwen, you might not want to make comments about Wormtounge while Meela's around, she gets violent when we make fun of her crushes.

Begginning of TTT
Sam "It's the ring, isn't it?"

Frodo "I Can't get it out of my head, That movie was so WIERD!"


Aragorn marries Arwen

Aragorn "I will always love you"

Arwen "And I you"

Gimli "Hey Elf, ten bucks says he's wearing a thong"

Faramir "Hey, I wanna get in on that action"

*Blank stares all around*

Legolas "That was wrong on so many levels."

Faramir "I meant the betting"

Everyone "Oohhhhhhhh"

[Lily Bombadil]

"Hey, Elf. Ten bucks says he's wearing a thong."

Eowyn: 50 bucks says I'll go pull 'em down & find out... *rubs fingers together*
*Others cringe*
Faramir: Ohhh.... So wrong...

[Meneltarmacil]

I'm pretty sure someone has done something like this before, but I can't find it anywhere.

As Gandalf is about to fall into the Shadow
GANDALF(with Arnold Schwartzenegger accent): I'll be back.

[Arwen Melian]

LOL!IM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO THOUGHT ABOUT THAT SCENE AS THE OLYMPIC(sorry caps). smilies/smile.gif

[Lily Bombadil]

In the Riddermark...

Aragorn: Riders of Rohan, what news from the Mark?!
*The Rohirrim swerve and encircle Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas*
Random Rohirrim: What news? I'll tell you what news! If "Captain Eomer" doesn't gives us a rest stop soon, the 'news from the Mark' is gonna be in my pants!!!


"That was wrong on so many levels."

[Meneltarmacil]

Grima: Láthspell i name you, ill news is an ill guest.
Háma: *jumping out and pointing an accusing finger at Gandalf: He turned me into a newt!
Grima: *sceptical look*
Háma: I got better!

Hahahahaha! I love Monty Python takeoffs.

[Lily Bombadil]

*Fellowship is walking through the woods of Lothlorien. Suddenly, the banjo tune from 'Deliverance' starts to play. Haldir jumps out of nowhere with one blackened tooth and a banjo.*
Aragorn: Haldir-
Haldir: *grabs Aragorn's ear* Squeal like a pig!

[Rose Cotton]

*Helm's Deep*

Olympic Berserker!

(olympic theme plays)

Ary: Kill him Legolas!

(arrow hits berserker)

Uruk: *gasp* Jimmy!

Ary: KILL HIM LEGOLAS!!

(second arrow hits Jimmy)

Uruk: *gasp* Jimmy!

(olypic music speeds up as Jimmy runs & jumps & blows up himself & the Deeping Wall)


I always imagined that scene going into slo-mo with "Chariots of Fire" playing in the background, and all the elves going "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Sam "It's the ring, isn't it?"

Frodo "I Can't get it out of my head, That movie was so WIERD!"


No kidding! smilies/eek.gif

*In the Mines of Moria the Fellowship is running from the Balrog*

Legolas: *trips* My ankle!
*the fellowship helps him up and they keep running*
Legolas: *trips* My other ankle!
*they help him up again and keep running*
Legoals: *trips(again)* Both my ankles!
Gimli: Why don't we just chop the darn things off!!

[Lily Bombadil]

Théoden banishes Grima. Éowyn disappears as well. A few hours later, she comes back into the palace leading Grima by the hand.

Théoden: Where have you been all day? And what is he doing here?!
Éowyn: Uncle, I MARRIED GRIMA SO HE COULD STAY IN THE KINGDOM!!!!
*Théoden starts gasping*
Éowyn: Don't worry. I don't love him or anything, but since Éomer was banished I've been really bored.
*Théoden promptly has a heart attack and dies*

[Lindril Arvilya]

(At the Battle for Helm's Deep)
Gimli: That's two for me!
Legolas: I'm at seventeen! *goes back to his shooting*
Gimli: *mutters* I'm at seventeen, I'm a little prissy elf... *eyes Legolas* Acceptable loss. *looks around to see if anyone's looking, and hacks off Legolas' head* Three.

[Lindril Arvilya]

Aragorn pushes both doors open and starts to walk in, but there is a bar in the way which he runs into and knocks himself out.

Or...
Aragorn pushes the doors open and staggers in, and the doors swing back and hit him, causing him to fall flat out of his back.
Aragorn: Oy... what a day....

[Feared Half-Elf]

Eowyn: Uncle, I MARRIED GRIMA SO HE COULD STAY IN THE KINGDOM!!!!

One word, EEEEEEWWWWWW!!!! I'm not surprised Theoden had a heart attack, anyone would!

Images, Images. Wedding night images. I do NOT want that thought!

[ September 26, 2003: Message edited by: Feared Half-Elf ]

[Naz]

Theoden: Where is the horse & the rider?

Aragorn: I think he went down to the Seven Eleven.

Theoden: A~RA~~~GO~~~RN~!!!! smilies/mad.gif

[Everdawn]

Théoden: Is this all you can conjure Saruman?

Random Guard: Apparently not my lord, here comes Ricky Martin...

Theoden: Where is the horse & the rider?
Aragorn: I think he went down to the Seven Eleven.

Theoden: A~RA~~~GO~~~RN~!!!!


**Giggle**

[Naz]

Here's some I made up ages ago... Some may be funny, others not... (was the Seven Eleven one really actually funny...?)

*In the Shire*

Gandalf: The Road goes ever on & on/Down from the door where it began... Hum humm... Oh drat, what was the rest?

*At the Ford of Bruinen*

Nazgul: Give up the Halfling, She-elf!

Arwen: You sure you don't want something for your throat?

*At Amon Hen, after sending Boromir over the Rauros*

Legolas: Aragorn, what are you doing with Boromir's golden belt from Galadriel?

Aragorn: Taking it! It'll fetch a pretty price on Ebay!

(me: runs from mad Boromir fangirls)

*while the Hobbits are hiding from the Rider*

Nazgul: *sniff sniff* Drat... I've *gotta* get something for these sinuses!

*After Strider throws the apple at Pip & it hits his head*

Strider: Whoo hoo! That deserves a 10!

[Elwen_starmaiden]

lol these are so funny! Here's a Holy Grail one:

Elrond: So be it! You shall be known as the Fellowship of the Ring.
*fellowship dance around and break into song*: We're the Fellowship of the Ring, we dance around and sing! and etc.

Scene when moving from Edoras to Helm's Deep
Gimli: *falls off his horse* Ow, my tailbone! That wasn't deliberate!

I know they're bad, I'll try to come up with something better next time.

[Feared Half-Elf]

*When the Hobbits have met Aragorn, and are talking about food.*

Merry: *Dances about madly singing* Things that make you go mmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Very, very lame...

[Naz]

About the Eowyn/Grima one:

...Theoden suffered a fatal heart attack so Eowyn & Grima could live together forever.

O_O;; (yea, another Monty Python one^ ^;; )

[Elennar Starfire]

Nazgul: Give up the Halfling, She-elf!

Arwen: You sure you don't want something for your throat?


*Arwen throws a cough drop at the black rider*

[THE Ka]

In the shire were all the hobbits are hiding from the nazgul, and he's sniffing really loud:
Nazgul: Ah! what is that awful smell!
merry wispers: hee hee! that was me! smilies/biggrin.gif

[Arwen1858]

Legolas runs toward the horse Gimli is sitting on to leap up on the horses back.
Just as he leap into the air, the horse lurches forward, leaving Legolas to fall flat on his face.
Gimli snickers, and says, 'Oops! My foot slipped. I must have *accidently* kicked the horse!'

Well, there's my attempt! It's a little funnier in my mind, because trying to put it into words doesn't work as good. Oh well.

[Feared Half-Elf]

Erm, aha!

*In Lothlorien, when Galadriel is gliding down the stairs. She trips on her dress and falls all the way to the bottom*

G: Ouch!
C: I told them that dress was too long, but did the costume department believe me? No! I'm off, before it happens to me! *Storms off screen*
PJ: I can fire you for that!
C: I'd love to see you try!
G: Er, can anyone help me? This hurts alot, being upside down. Very undignified, you know, with my legs in the air. Hello? Hello? *Everyone has gone, tumbleweed rolls past* Hello?

[ October 02, 2003: Message edited by: Feared Half-Elf ]

[Lily Bombadil]

Images, images. Wedding night images. I do NOT want that thought!

*Grima comes out of the powder room in his bathrobe with Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On" playing in the background"* Sorry, I had to...

Here we go...

*Aragorn calls Frodo's mobile phone*
Aragorn: Dude, where are you, man? I'm s'pose ta take ya to Mordor!
Frodo: Dude, I'm almost in Mordor. Where are you?
Aragorn: Rohan, dude!
Frodo: You suck. Why can't I go to Rohan?

[Meneltarmacil]

*Grima comes out of the powder room in his bathrobe with Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On" playing in the background"* Sorry, I had to...

Meneltarmacil has a heart attack and dies.

[Finwe]

When Aragorn is riding away from Eowyn right before the Battle with the Wargs, his horse trips, and he dies.

In Middle-earth Monthly:

"A hero died today in a tragic accident..."

[Feared Half-Elf]

*Grima comes out of the powder room in his bathrobe with Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On" playing in the background*

I did not need thet thought. I repeat, I did not need that thought.

[Eldar14]

*the Ents are marching to Isengard*

Pippin: "Run, Forest, Run!"

[One Axe to Rule them All]

For those of you that remember this pseudo-obscure monty python skit....

The meeting between Gandalf and Saruman

Saurman- "Prepare to die!"
Pippin- "What's that?"
Gandalf- "It's a Wizards staff!"
Pippin- "And what's that?"
Gimli- "It's an axe!"
Pippin- "And what's that?"
Legolas- "It's a bow!"
Saurman- "How did all of you get here?"
Everyone else- "Does it look like we know?"

[The Only Real Estel]

Anyone who has seen Matrix Reloaded will get this as much as one can...

*Gandalf yanks Sam through the window & onto the table...

Gandalf: "You!"

Sam: (sits up on the table & puts hand into Gandalf's stomach) "Yes, me. Me, me, me!"

Gandalf: (fully transformed into Sam)"Me too!"

Well, that was my lame attempt for the week smilies/biggrin.gif.

[ October 03, 2003: Message edited by: The Only Real Estel ]

[Meela]

Legolas: Lembas! One small bite can fill the stomach of a grown man.

Pippin: Oh, none for me thanks. I'm on a diet.

[The Only Real Estel]

Meela: Pippin on a diet!? lol, that would have to be a blooper smilies/biggrin.gif .

[Feared Half-Elf]

What would be even funnier is Pippin and Merry on a diet. Although, the thought of any Hobbit on a diet is laughable! it would last, what, five minutes? Until the next mealtime?

P.S. I am not usually this sarcastic, I am just in a wierd (sp?) mood!

[Naz]

My cousin made this one up:

Elrond to Arwen: He is not coming back.


*Jay pops up*


Jay (imitating Elrond): I killed him myself!

smilies/biggrin.gif Go Jay!

[Lily Bombadil]

Gollum: Rock and pool is nice and cool. So juicy sweeet! I only WISH to catch a FISH! so juicy sweeet!
*Faramir's Merry Men shoot Sméagol*
Frodo: What have you done?!! Faramir! How could you?
Faramir: What? He was butchering a perfectly good song! I just assumed that-
Frodo: Grrrr....!

[Lily Bombadil]

Meneltarmacil has a heart attack and dies.

Éowyn: Oh, my god! You killed Menny!

[legolas luver*1]

I thought of this a few weeks ago after watching FOP.
Aragorn:A hobbit lay here, or I could just be paraphrasing.

[Lily Bombadil]

That's okay, Menny! Can I call you Menny? Although I want to, I've never seen Monty Python. SHAME ON ME!!

Faramir: Shall I shoot?
Frodo: Like I give a crap! Go ahead!
P.J.: Cut! CUT! CUT! CUT! Elijah! You're supposed to say no!
Elijah: Why? It's not like I really care whether the little freak lives or dies!

OR:

Faramir: Shall I shoot?
Frodo: What? Are you on glue? He's our guide!

[Lily Bombadil]

Hey, Feared Half-Elf....

I repeat, I did not need that thought.

*Grima opens his robe revealing a carpet of chest hair!*

Oh, that even grossed me out! And it certainly messed with my sister.


smilies/evil.gif I gotcha......

[Meneltarmacil]

*Grima opens his robe revealing a carpet of chest hair!*
Meneltarmacil has ANOTHER heart attack and dies.

Let's...uhhhhh...not take this any further, OK? This is getting scary... smilies/eek.gif

[Elennar Starfire]

I agree with Menny, NO MORE, PLEASE!!!

*Elennar runs away, singing about clouds*

[legolas luver*1]

IT BURNS US! IT FREEZES!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!!
smilies/eek.gif

[ October 07, 2003: Message edited by: legolas luver*1 ]

[legolas luver*1]

I read something the other day about Billy Boyd and it said he had a nice singing voice! Ha!!! So insted of the drinking song he bursts out in a 'beautiful' song in a Scottish accent. O God!! smilies/eek.gif
"Merryyyyyyyyyyyy!!!! My name is Billyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!"

[ October 06, 2003: Message edited by: legolas luver*1 ]

[Everdawn]

*Grima opens his robe revealing a carpet of chest hair!*
I already shudder everytime Wormtongue is mentioned! Now it seems that i will be in fits of horror!

Aragorn: Its a long way
GImli: Youll have to toss me. And dont tell the elf.
Aragorn picks up Gimli and is about ot throw him when Legolas yells from above.
Legolas: Hey look guys! The dwarf has to be thrown!
Gimli: Arrgh!
Aragorn throws Gimli but his throw is short, Gimli falls to the depths below.
Aragorn: oops.

[Lily Bombadil]

Sorry guys! But this doth sucketh! It seems I have scared everyone but Feared Half-Elf and it was meant for her! (Nothing against you Feared Halfie, you're just cool to mess with.) smilies/wink.gif Fear not, I shall take this no further. Oh, and uhh, sorry I killed you Menny.

Here's a little someting, while I'm here...

On Aragorn's return to Rivendell, he sees Arwen standing on a balcony with her back to him. He begins to run to her shouting:

Aragorn: Arwen! Arwen! Your true love is come!
*He reaches "Arwen" and turns "her" around only to see that it is not Arwen, but Elrond!
Aragorn & Elrond: AAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!!!! AA-AA- AAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!!!!

[Lily Bombadil]

In the Golden Hall, Aragorn steps up to where Éowyn is swordplaying and perries with her.

Aragorn: Well, it looks like we got us a Mexican stand-off. Only we ain't no Mexicans.

[legolas luver*1]

At Helms Deep...
Legolas: You look terrible.
Aragorn: Yes. But isnt it ironic that you dont look so great yourself?(Legolas screams and runs to the nearest mirror)
Legolas: O.M.G. hes right!!

[Finwe]

Gandalf: Gandalf, yes, that is what they used to call me. Gandalf the Grey.... I.... am Gandalf the White. *gives Legolas a pointed look and thinks to self* For once I look better than that poncy Elf!

Legolas: Looking sexy my man! *later* What did you use on your hair, L'Oreal?

Gandalf: Are you crazy???? Nothing touches this Istar's hair except pure Revlon!

[Arwen1858]

*When Aragorn gets to Helm's Deep*

Legolas: You look terrible!
Aragorn: Hey! It's not my fault! You're the one that hoards all the shampoo!

[Arwen1858]

*At Edoras*

Hama: Hand over you bow and knives!
Legolas: Or what?
Hama: Or I'll mess up your pretty hair!
Legolas: Ai! Ai! Anything but that! Legolas quickly hands over all weapons

[miellien]

*Boromoir, to Aragorn, in his final scene*
"I'm not quitedead yet."

[Feared Half-Elf]

No, Lily, you scared me just as much as you have scared anyone else. I just haven't been online for a few days. Let's just drop it now, I don't want to be scarred further!!!
smilies/eek.gif

Aragorn: Legolas, what do your elf-eyes see?
Legolas: Three barrels of wine and some decent music. Party!

Ok, where did that come from? smilies/eek.gif

[legolas luver*1]

(Aragorn is leading the hobbits to Rivendell.)
(Aragorn reads a sign)
Aragorn: 6 miles to Rivendell.
Frodo: But that sa-
Aragorn: Who's the ranger here?
All: You are.
(6 miles later)
Aragorn: Ahh..Final- What!!!! Rivendeli?!!
Frodo: I tried to tell you.

or


(At the meeting of Arwen end Aragorn.)
Aragorn: Oooh shes hot!! (screams)HOT MAMA!!!
(Arwen turns around revaling that half of her head is
SHAVED!!!)
Aragorn: Oooh! Thats not right!!

[ October 09, 2003: Message edited by: legolas luver*1 ]

[Lily Bombadil]

Oh my, Feared Halfie (may I call you that?)! I only meant to scare you, not scar you for life! Please accept my apology. I know Grima can be very frightening with his clothes on, let alone- Okay you get it.

Whilst I am hither...

Merry & Pippin in the Green Dragon....

Merry & Pip: Hey! Yo! Lemme hear ya say, YEAH!
Crowd: YEAH!
Merry & Pip: Put yo hands up! Put yo hands up!
*Bar crowd puts their hands up*
Pip: Now say, Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh!
Crowd: Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh....
(Camera pans on P.J. and the rest of the on-set crew. They're all chanting and dancing around)
P.J.: Go, go, Billy! It's yo birthday! It's yo birthday! *does the Egyptian*

[Mr. Bilbo Baggins Esq.]

*does the Egyptian*

That's a FREAKY thought!
*In the hobbit. The troll scene.*

Bilbo: Please don't cook me kind sirs. I am a cook myself and I cook better than I cook if you see what I mean. I'll cook beautifully for you!
William: Well, alright. But don't forget the rabies. That's what gives it that extra kick.

[Lily Bombadil]

...don't forget the rabies.

Oh, that was beautiful, Mr. Baggins! I love F.O.P., too!

Here's something...
(At Helm's Deep, Legolas shield-surfs down the staircase, firing off a volley of arrows. At the bottom...)

Fellow Soldiers: Whoa, Leggers! That was AWESOME, my brotha!
Legolas: Thanks. And that's Chicago.
Soldiers: What?
Legolas: I dunno, but it sounded cool!

[Lily Bombadil]

What!!! Rivendeli?!!

When they finally get to Rivendell...

Aragorn: So, you see, Elrond? We were clearly mislead.
Elrond: *nods solemnly* Yeah, I had a sandwich at Rivendeli, once. It's not all it's cracked up to be. Not even run by elves...
Aragorn: smilies/rolleyes.gif

[Mr. Bilbo Baggins Esq.]

...not all it's cracked up to be.

Me: I dunno. I liked their sandwiches anyway.

[ October 09, 2003: Message edited by: Mr. Bilbo Baggins Esq. ]

[Lily Bombadil]

In the Last Battle...

Elrond: Tangado haid! Leithio i philin!
*Elves exchange bewildered glances and shrug*
Elf #1: Well... If he says so....
*Elves start taking off their pants and dancing Polka in their underwear*
Elrond: What are you doing?! I told you to take your positions and fire the arrows!
Elf #1: Nooo... You told us to dance Polka in our undies.
Elf #2: Hey, man, we're just obeying orders...

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

I've got these ones in my head for quite a while now...

(Entmoot scene)
Pippin: Merry! Verdict's in!

That scene reminds me of "The Practice"...anyway

(Aragorn and Theoden trapped in chamber-thingy)
Theoden: So much death. What can men do against such reckless hate?
Aragorn: Ride out with meat...
Theoden: I've only got bacon here.
Aragorn: Then we'll have to ride out to meat, then.
(Aragorn, Theoden prepared for battle)
Theoden: To the meat stall!!!!!

Hope these haven't been done yet... smilies/rolleyes.gif smilies/rolleyes.gif smilies/rolleyes.gif

Wala lang!
->The True Son of Finrod, and of Amarie of the Vanyar

[Everdawn]

Aragorn: Legolas, what do your elf-eyes see?
Legolas: Three barrels of wine and some decent music. Party!
...Just as we hear Dirrty, by Christina A. start to play in the background. Oh i can imagine it.

And thats Chicago
GOOD CALL! I swear, its the best call ever, i said it in that context after surfing last weekend, hopped off hte wave and ont the beach and shouted back to the sea. "Thats Chicago!"

I swear Lily! I just laughed the hardest ive ever laughed at these things just reading your last few!

[Lily Bombadil]

Why thank you, Everdawn. Here's a little something I made up a few minutes ago...

Scene> Bag-end
Frodo: What must I do?
Gandalf: You must make meatballs.
Frodo: But... I thought we had to take the Ring to Mordor.
Gandalf: Yeah, but I'm hungry.

[Mr. Bilbo Baggins Esq.]

Aragorn: Legolas! What do your elf-eyes see?
Legolas: *no answer*
Aragorn: Legolas?
Legolas: *still no answer*
Aragorn: LEGOLAS!!!!
Legolas: Ssssh! South Park's on!

[legolas luver*1]

(At Helms Deep, Aragorn tosses Gimli. Strangly he throws Gomli to far. He lands among the Uruk-Hi below.)
P.J: Well that sped up the movie.
or
(The scene where Haldir dies.)
Viggo: O.M.G!! Hes dead!!
P.J: I know its part of the movie.
Viggo: So you just killed him!!!???
P.J: Lets just try this again.
Viggo: But he's dead!!
P.j: Its nice youre staying in charicter and all, but we have to film the movie.
Viggo: But he's dead!!!
P.J: O fine! (checks puls and screams.)

The True Story of Haldir.

[ October 09, 2003: Message edited by: legolas luver*1 ]

[Feared Half-Elf]

Lily, I don't want to hear anything about the Grima incident again. It has turned distinctly sick!

Yes you can call me Half-Elfie, but only if you have to...

Here's one my brother made up...
At Helm's Deep:

*Legolas is on the walls. Suddenly, an arrow sticks to the string and refuses to be shot*
Legolas: Blasted...thing...won't...shoot!
PJ: What's the matter?
Gimli: *Creeping away with superglue* Hehehehehehehehehe!

*Arwen is walking away from Rivendell, turns, looks back, tries to keep on walking and falls flat on her face*
Arwen: This dress was expensive! It was dry-clean only and now it's covered in mud! DADDY!!!!!

[Arwen1858]

While they're taking a break by the river Nimrodel, Legolas decides he needs to wash his hair, again. A few minutes later, the rest of the Fellowship is startled to hear screams coming from the river.
Legolas: Ai!! Ai!! My hair!!
Gimli snickers and hides the bottle of green dye he poured into Legolas' shampoo bottle.

[Lily]

My mother made up this one! We laughed for hours almost!

(Everyone's at Helm's Deep is waiting for the 10,000 orcs to attack. It comes to that shot where you see Theoden, and two men behind him.)

Theoden: 10,000 orcs come to attack we may all die.

Man behind him: It could be worse could be raining.

(Suddenly KABOOM! And the rain pours down.)

Other man behind him: You just had to say it!

smilies/biggrin.gif

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

I've thought about the Gimli tossing thing, and come up with two variations...

1)
Aragorn: Not a word(picks up Gimli)Oooof, you're heavy! Did you eat all the lembas again?
Eomer: You fool of a king, it's me!
Aragorn what are you doing here? Aren't you three hundred leagues away.
Eomer: The book said that we both attack here.
Aragorn: Whatever. Can I get transfered as a droid to Star Wars, or something?

2)
Aragorn: Not a word(picks up Gimli, tosses him)Oops, too strong!
(Gimli shish-kebabed in Orc spear)
PJ: Cut! OK, we need a new Gimli, and a Treebeard, too.
Aragorn: Orli could be Treebeard...
Legolas: What?!?!
(Can you just see those Leggyboppers falling for Treebeard?)

Wala lang!
->The True Son of Finrod, and of Amarie the Vanyar

[Lily Bombadil]

Feared Half-elf,
SORRY, SORRY, SORRY, SORRY!!!!!! *pants insanely like Galadriel after a flip-out*

By the way, I loved your Legolas super glued arrows incident. It sound a lot like what I'm going through with my Haldir action figure, except his problem seems to be that the bowstring sticks to his hand. I'll have to confront my Gimli action figure. Lately he's been looking pretty suspicious....

For anyone who's seen The Hobbit cartoon....

In Gollum's cave:

Bilbo: *dorkily* Mind you, I'm armed with an Elvish blade!
Gollum: Ooh! We're so scared, preciousss! Gollum, gollum!


T.T.T: Flight to Helm's Deep...

Gimli: It's true, you don't see many dwarf women. In fact, I could be one right now.
<Éowyn, Aragorn, & others back away several feet.>

[Lily Bombadil]

Lily (who is not me),

Your mum's blooper inspired me:

Théoden: Is this all you can conjure, Saruman?!!!
<The wall blows up>
Gamling: *with singed hair & beard* Well, aren't we catsy....

[Feared Half-Elf]

You don't need to pant insanely, Lily B, have you recovered yet?

*At Helm's Deep*

PJ: Legolas you're at the wrong end of the wall, they're gonna blow it up in a minute!
*Legolas starts running to the other end. Wall blows up underneath him as he runs*
Legolas: *In mud puddle with rubble all around him, legs in the air, hair singed and on end* Ouch! *Suddenly* Noooooooooooo! My hair!!!!! *Bursts into tears*

Another one from my brother:

*At Helm's Deep*

*Legolas is on the walls and suddenly realises he has no arrows. Or indeed a quiver*
Legolas: Huh?
Gimli: *Sneaking away with quiver and arrows* These will get a pretty penny on Ebay!

[Finwe]

When Legolas and that random Elf are running towards the Keep, carrying Gimli by the arms between them, all three of them trip, go down, and the Uruk-hai army all trample over them in a stampede. As Theoden looks down, shocked, we hear the random Elf's voice, "We're all right." Then we hear Gimli's, "We're getting better." And lastly, we hear Legolas' voice, "Stupid dwarf!"

[Everdawn]

Scene: URUK-HAI WITH MERRY AND PIPPIN IN ROHAN.

URUK-HAI: What do you smell?
2nd Uruk-hai: Manflesh...

Off to the side of the track you see Steve Irwin edging closely foward, he is not hidden very well as he is hiding behind a rock. (Though Steve reckons the Uruks cant see him.)

Steve (narrating): Now these are among the most dangerous creatures in all of Middle Earth... This mob belong to Saruman!

1st Uruk-Hai with the hobbits: Who is that idiot?
2nd Uruk: Steve Irwin...

Steve: (Uruks approach) NOW! look at this little beauty!!! He want to come play with uncle Stevie!

**Uruk puicks him up by the throat..**
Steve: Now look at him go, the wildness in his eyes tells us he means business...

Uruk picks him p and knocks him against the rock so he is knocked out.

Uruk: That guy really annoys me...

[Tefalathiel]

The Last Alliance. Elrond sits in front of the troop as the battle is about to begin.He shouts the attack order.

Elrond: Tangado haid! Leithio i philin!
Archers: (shoot the arrows)

Close-up on Elrond's face. An arrow passes him by. Closer close-up on his face. It suddely turns from the "valliant elf-warrior" expression to red, then angry- violet.

Elrond: And I told Gil Galad to put the archers in FRONT!

Turns away amids the battle scene revealing a pretty impressive colection of arrows stuck in his behind.

[ October 12, 2003: Message edited by: Tefalathiel ]

[lothlorien]

I know this was a few pages back but that
blooper about the script from lord of the rings and the last of the mohicans getting mixed up is one the funniest things I've ever read that is the MASTER of bloopers
hands down
Lothlorien

[lothlorien]

O..Oh Lily that was so funny I thought
that the mix up was better but those bloopers with Saruman and Grima and
Theoden and Grima were seriously so funny I woke both of my sisters up and the dogs started barking.
from lothlorien

[Arwen1858]

I woke both of my sisters up and the dogs started barking.

Lothlorien ~ I've done that a couplde of times myself, reading these threads late at night. They're just so funny! Also, welcome to the 'Downs!!
Arwen

[Feared Half-Elf]

Everdawn, I could just imagine that!!!

[Meneltarmacil]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Everdawn, that was brilliant! The Crocodile Hunter is my favorite TV show. You deserve a Blooper Award for that. Only I'm not giving you one because Meela would probably light me on fire if I did. You still deserve the award though.

[Meela]

*hands over a Blooper Award*

[Elennar Starfire]

Legolas is walking through Fangorn, when he snags his hair on a low branch. He gets stuck, and eventually has to have his hair cut.

Galadriel is walking gracefully down the stairs in Lothlorien, and suddenly she sneezes, violently. The force of the sneeze knocks her off balance and she falls down the stairs.

[legolas luver*1]

I agree with the uruk: "That guy really annoys me." smilies/tongue.gif

[Everdawn]

*hands over a Blooper Award*
Yes! Finally the moment i have waited my whole life for! The day the blooper award arrives at my door wrapped in funny tasting brown paper and bubble wrap! Thankyou one, thankyou all, I am forever in your debt. smilies/biggrin.gif

OK..
Yes that Steve one just popped into my head. *screams* we arent all like that! only some of the time!!


Now heres one ive done, but i think someone else did it, so i will be very surprised if it hasnt been done,

Elrond: Gandalf, the ring can not stay here...
* walks over to another booksheld and shuffles some books out of the way...**

Elrond: It can stay here...

[Meela]

Elrond: Gandalf, the ring can not stay here...
* walks over to another booksheld and shuffles some books out of the way...**

Elrond: It can stay here...

Have another award smilies/biggrin.gif *hands it over*

[Feared Half-Elf]

Elrond: The ring can stay here...

*Bookshelf suddenly collapses, spilling books all across the floor*

Elrond: Darn!

Gandalf: Obviously it doesn't like it there...

[willkill4food]

(At the Council of the Ring)

Elrond: "The Ring must be destroyed."

Boromir: "This is folly, not with 10,000 men could you do this. there is evil there that does not sleep. And the evil "i" (Boromir sticks one finger up on one hand, and on the other hand forms a dot) is ever watching."

(I just thought it was really funny how boromir did the "evil eye" in the movie, and the second I saw it I thought he was going to form an "i" with his fingers.)

-willkill

[Arwen1858]

Legolas starts sliding down the stairs on the shield, when on about the third step, the shield sticks, and Legolas tumbles down the stairs with his legs sticking up in the air. He crawls up to the shield, then yells,
'Gimli!! Hand over the super glue!'

Legolas decides to retaliate:
Later, Gimli goes to pull his helmet off. 'Arrgh!' He yells. 'Allright, who put the super glue in my helmet??!'

[Elwen_starmaiden]

In the Beginning of TTT

*Frodo and Sam are walking when Frodo gives out a cry of pain and falls down*
Sam: Its the ring isn't it.
Frodo: No Sam, that lembas bread doesn't sit right in my stomach.

Later.

Sam: Oh, that smell! Wonder if there's a nasty bog nearby.
Frodo:Yeah, that's probably what that smell is.
*Sam turns around to see Frodo desperately trying to wave away his stench*
Sam: Mr. Frodo!
Frodo: I'm sorry Sam, it was the lembas!

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

*on the way to Helm's Deep*

Legolas:"A scout!"
Theoden:"What is it? What do you see? Is there a boy scout or a girl scout? I used to spend my time at scout camps as a youngster. We had such a wise scoutmaster and...
Aragorn:"Do they sell cookies? "

[Everdawn]

*on the way to Helm's Deep*
Legolas:"A scout!"
Theoden:"What is it? What do you see? Is there a boy scout or a girl scout? I used to spend my time at scout camps as a youngster. We had such a wise scoutmaster and...
Aragorn:"Do they sell cookies? "


Legolas: Yes, three kinds!

hehehe smilies/biggrin.gif

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

Just watched FotR (again...) and came up with this.

Haldir: "Caras Galadhon. The heart of Elvendom on earth. Realm of the Lord Celeborn and Galadriel, Lady of Light."
*suddenly all the lights go out*
Galadriel: "Ouch...darn with those cheap batteries..."

[Elen Ilúvitauri]

Oh god that was funny!

[Arwen1858]

*Pippin and Merry are singing and dancing on the table in the Green Dragon*

"But better that rain or rippling brook..."
crack
*table falls*
Merry: Pip?
Pippin: Yes, Merry?
Merry: I told you we shouldn't have eaten so many mushrooms!

[Meneltarmacil]

Some Helm's Deep ones.

When Gimli jumps off the Deeping Wall into the Uruk-Hai army, he miscalculates and his butt lands right on top of one of the orcs' spears. (Ouch!)

When Legolas is doing the shield-boarding trick, the shield suddenly bumps into a rock and catapults Legolas about 10 feet in the air.

[Arwen1858]

*At Bilbo's party*
Frodo: Sam, why don't you ask Rosie for a dance?
Sam: I think I'll just have another ale.
Frodo: Oh, no you don't!
*Frodo pushes Sam, Sam crashes into Rosie, who crashes into the next hobbit, who crashes into the next, creating a domino effect on all the dancing hobbits.*

[Naz]

Boromir: What have I said? What have I done?

Ary: You've royally screwed up, that's what...

(sorry Boromir! *ducks projectiles*

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

...another option to my previous blooper...

Haldir: "Caras Galadhon. The heart of Elvendom on earth. Realm of the Lord Celeborn and Galadriel, Lady of Light."
*suddenly all the lights go out*
Galadriel:Celeborn!!! *muttering* Buy batteries he said. they look nice he said. They're cheap he said...I know one elf who is going to do the dishes for three months for this!

[ October 17, 2003: Message edited by: dancing spawn of ungoliant ]

[Everdawn]

Aragron and Arwen on the bridge in Rivendell in FOTR..

Arwen: I would rather share one lifetime with you than spend all the ages of this world alone...

Aragorn: Thats nice dear... Oh! a re-run of Friends is on in 5 min! Its the episonde where Joey and Chandler get the Chick and the Duck! **runs off leaving Arwen alone. She shakes her head.**

Arwen: What was i thinking?

[Arwen1858]

In Rivendell, Boromir walks in the room Aragorn is in.

Boromir: You are no elf.
Aragorn: Well, duh! You don't have to be a wizard to figure that one out.

[Arwen1858]

At the Bridge of Khazad-Dum:

Gimli: Never toss a dwarf!
*leaps across, and almost falls. Legolas grabs him by the beard*
Gimli: Not the beard!!
Legolas: If you say so! *lets go*

[Salix]

I was thinking really weird a while back:
At the Prancing Pont:
(Merry comes to the table carrying a big mug.)
Pippin: What's that?
Merry: This my friend, is an Elf.
{Mug of beer turns into a very upset looking Legolas)
Pippin: It comes in elves? I'm getting one.
Sam: Um...

[Lily Bombadil]

Everdawn, I watched Chicago on Friday. It was awesome. I appreciate musicals a lot more now. And it gave me some good bloopers. Hee, hee, hee, hee....

Merry and Pippin are singing in the Green Dragon:
M & P: Ale & beer. Frodo, too. And all that jazz! *Pippin does a split*

After kidnapping Frodo and Sam, Faramir bursts into song.
Faramir: ... If you're good to Farah, he'll be good to youuuuuu!

And here's the Fellowship Tango:
Frodo: Ring.
Boromir: Gondor.
Gimli: Grrrrrf!
Legolas: Bow, bow.
Aragorn: Arwen.
Merry & Pip: Mushrooms....

And here are some bloopers previously spawned...

At Gandalf's and Éomer's arrival in Helm's Deep:
Gandalf: Théoden king, you stand alone.
Éomer: Not alone. ROHIRRIM!!!
*Nothing*
Éomer: ROHIRRIM?
*Still nothing*
Éomer: ROH-HIR-RIM!!!!!!!!
*Rohirrim pop up*
Random Rohirrim: Sorry, man...

Saruman in Orthanc, addressing his Uruk-hai army....
Saruman: Tonight, the land will be stained with the blood of Rohan! TO WAR!!!!!!!!!
*Cricket, cricket*
Uruk army: *Mutter, mutter*
Saruman: *Clears throat* Free muffins if you'll all go to war!!!!!!!!
*Uruks clash shields and weaponry in approval*
Uruks: YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!

In Moria....
Gandalf: Go back to the Shadow. You shall not pass!!!!!!
*Balrog walks right past him*


Oh, congratulate me if you feel like it. My school's putting on The Hobbit and I'm playing Gandalf. My mellon is playing Elrond. I got my beard. It ITCHESSS!!!!!!

Arwen1858, I already did the domino hobbits blooper, but that's okay, mellon. I think it was in the old thread.

[ October 19, 2003: Message edited by: Lily Bombadil ]

[Arwen1858]

Arwen1858, I already did the domino hobbits blooper, but that's okay, mellon.
Sorry, Lily! I didn't read the old thread. Great minds think alike, I guess! I like your blooper about the Uruks and the muffins smilies/smile.gif
Namarie!
Arwen

[Everdawn]

At Gandalf's and Éomer's arrival in Helm's Deep:
Gandalf: Théoden king, you stand alone.
Éomer: Not alone. ROHIRRIM!!!
*Nothing*
Éomer: ROHIRRIM?
*Still nothing*
Éomer: ROH-HIR-RIM!!!!!!!!


Turns and sees men on horses riding away in the opposite direction...
Éomer: Screw this!
Rides away as well.


Yeah, i can see the beginning of the "Cell Block Tango"

Taye Diggs (announcer guy): Ladies and Gentlemen, The council of Elrond proudly presents... The fellowship, in their remdition of "The prescious ring Tango"

[Miriel Undomiel]

I don't know if this one is already done, but I'll try annyway smilies/tongue.gif
You know in star wars episode II, Sarum.. sorry, christopher lee takes Obi-Wan Kenobi captured!

(sorry, dont remember his name in the movie smilies/rolleyes.gif )

scene in orthanc with Gandalv:

Saruman: you must join me, Obi-Wan, and together we will destroy the sith!
Gandalv: What? Have you been smoking pipeweed again?
Saruman: ??? What?? this is'nt Star Wars?
Gandalv: Dude,learn the lines! I'm outa' here!

So use your own imagination, when hes in Star Wars:
''We must join with Sauron, gandalv...''

lame?? smilies/frown.gif Oh, well! I did my best! smilies/rolleyes.gif

[Lily Bombadil]

Miriel Undomiel, it was Count Dooku, which means that when I saw it in the theater I heard lots of people calling him Count Dookie...

*Frodo is squelching through the Dead Marshes. His foot sticks in the muck and he falls on his face. He stands up and wipes a huge glob of mud off his face, and-*

Frodo: This sucks. Wait up, Flipper!

[Feared Half-Elf]

Running across Rohan:

Gimli: *Behind Legolas* Mmmm, nice *ss. Wish he didn't smell of strawberry bubble bath though!

Aragorn: *Thinking* you do not like Gimli, he is a dwarf. You do not like Gimli, he is a dwarf. Sam will kill me if I try anything with Frodo, but even so. You do not like Gimli, he is a dwarf...

[Lily Bombadil]

Okay, Feared Half-Elf,
We're even now. You sure know gross. Join me and together we will disgust the WORLD!!!

Everdawn, I got the Chicago soundtrack. Excellent, as usual.

Frodo in the Precious Ring Tango...
Frodo: So I go up the steps, and the wraith is waiting for me. And I'm ready to give him his Ring. But oh, no! Here comes Sam! He pushes me down. Tries to stop me, so I show... him... my... KNIFE!
Fellowship: He had it comin'! He had it comin'! He had it comin' all along!....

Okay, y'all. That was just ridiculous!

[Meela]

At the fires of Mt. Doom, Frodo is about to pull the Ring from his finger...

Frodo: darn ring... *pull* won't come off... *struggle* aggggh!! Come off, you stupid ring!


(this just happened to me, minus the Mt. Doom setting... smilies/smile.gif)

[Arwen1858]

While watching TTT again last night, I came up with two more:

At Helm's Deep
Gimli: You're going to have to toss me.
*Aragorn reaches for him*
Gimli: Don't tell the elf!
Aragorn: *crosses fingers behind his back* Not a word.

When Haldir and the Elves arrive at Helm's Deep
*Aragorn hugs Haldir*
*Haldir turns his face away from Aragorn's head*
Haldir: (aside to Legolas) Doesn't that guy ever wash his hair?!
*Legolas shrugs*

[Naz]

*In Moria*

"Drake! We are LEAVING!"

"To the Bridge of Khazad-dum!"


smilies/tongue.gif

[ October 26, 2003: Message edited by: Naz ]

[Elennar Starfire]

Here's a weird thought:

At the council of Elrond

Boromir: And what would a ranger know of this matter?

Legolas: This is no mere ranger. He is Tigger!

Aragorn, aka Tigger: *Starts singing* The most wonderful thing about Tiggers, is Tiggers are wonderful things! Their tops are made out of rubber, their bottoms are made out of springs! They're bouncybouncybouncybouncy funfunfunfunfun! But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers is I'm the only one! I'm the only one! *stops singing*
T-I-Double g-Er. That spells Tigger!

I hope I got the words to that song right! They're close, anyway.

[Lily]

My friend and I made this one when we were watching TTT

*The elves come and Aragorn runs and hugs Haldir*

Haldir: Ewww!!! I'm gonna smell like human for weeks now!

[THE Ka]

Ok this is when frodo, sam, merry, and pippin have just entered the prancing pony and are asking butterbur about gandalf.(sorry if this isn't exactally the same lines but , hey, i'm doing my best.)

frodo: Excuse me sir but, have you seen a Wizard by the name of Gandalf?
Butterbur: Gandalf? ooh... Really tall elderly gentleman....
Frodo: yes...
Butterbur: umm, let me see... Has an menising look, wears all white, and always has this little guy called Grima following him?
Frodo: Ahhhhhhhhhh.....

Some guy near the bar: Ah butterbur, i think you are talking about Saruman...

Butterbur: oops! well, looks like i can't help you young hobbit! oh, well. Hey! if your not going to get a room then get out!

Frodo stands there blankly, and pulls out a script to double-check.

" I destroy my enimies when i make them my friends."
- Who else but old honest Abe!

[Feared Half-Elf]

Join me and together we will disgust the WORLD!!!

*Bows* I would be most honoured!!!


When Gandalf is on his cart, at the beginning of Fotr.

*Frodo runs up*

Frodo: Erm, Gandalf, nice hat!

*Shot to Gandalf, who is wearing a multicoloured, stripy woolly hat, complete with electric blue bobble*

Gandalf: Isn't it lovely!? It was a fiver at New Look...

[Naz]

"I Was a Tweenage Warewarg"

smilies/biggrin.gif

[Lily Bombadil]

*bows* I would be most honoured!!!

Well, good. Then it's all going perfectly to plan. Mwoo who ha, ha! Mwoo who ha, ha!

Aw, darn it! I had a blooper and, and... I lost it... *sighs in dismay*

This is from the book, but let's pretend it's in the movie:
Frodo: No, no! Sam you *#@&^~% @$% &#@!!^&% ^%&*#!!!!!!!!!!
Sam: *gasp*
P.J.: ELIJAH!!!
Elijah: Sorry. Ahh, I feel sooo much better...
Sean: Was that last one even a word?
Elijah: Shut up you &*%^$$ *^@#$%^~`*!!!!!
P.J.: Grrrrr......
Elijah: Uh, I'm okay...
Sean: *weep, weep, sob*

[ October 28, 2003: Message edited by: Lily Bombadil ]

[Finwe]

Aragorn: Legolas, what do your Elf eyes see?

Legolas: WOMEN!!!! YES!!!!!


Aragorn: Wait a minute.....

Aragorn and Legolas: HALDIR?!?!?!?!

[ November 06, 2003: Message edited by: Finwe ]

[Lily Bombadil]

HALDIR?!?!?!?!

Haldir: Oh, yeah, baby! Hey, wanna watch me wash my hair?
Aragorn: Oh, NOOO!!! Not you too!!!!!
Haldir: Naw, just messin' with ya, Dunie! I'm practicing my Legolas impression. I'm going as him for Halloween.
Legolas: *flips hair* You and all the other wannabes.
Haldir: *punches Legolas, knocking him out*

[ October 29, 2003: Message edited by: Lily Bombadil ]

[Lily Bombadil]

Sméagol's conie scene:

Sam: There's only one way to eat a brace of conies.
<The scene rises. Sam is sitting at the stew pot wearing a chef's hat and a Kiss The Cook apron.>
Sméagol: NOOOO!!!! Stupid, fat hobbit!!! You RUINSSS IT!!!!
Sam: *turns red & tenses in anger, but tries to hide it* You know what? That's just okay, Gollum.
<Sam gets up and pats Sméagol on the back as he walks off. Sméagol turns around revealing a large KICK ME sign on his back>

[Lhunardawen]

In Rohan...

Aragorn: Legolas, you have the binoculars. What do you see?

Legolas: You mean these aren't haircurlers?

smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif

[Lindril Arvilya]

In Rivendell, Boromir walks in the room Aragorn is in.
Boromir: You are no elf.
Aragorn: Well, duh! You don't have to be a wizard to figure that one out.


Or...
Boromir: You are no elf.
*All elves in the vicinity turn around*
Elves: Yeah, no kidding!
*they all crack up laughing*
Aragorn: Hey.... why is that so funny?
Elves: *trying to stifle their laughter; you hear a few snorts and snickers* Oh... nothing. *coughposer*

[Lily Bombadil]

Pippin: ...and then the mushrooms the week before.
Merry: Yes, Pippin, my point is, he's clearly over-reacting!
*Pippin stops dead in his tracks, causing the others to stop too.*
Pippin: I told you to STOP CALLING ME PIPPIN!!!!!!!! I have a name: my name is Billy. Bil-ly! Got it?!
Dominic: But, Billy, we're filming. We always call you 'Pippin' on camera.
Billy: Well, Dom, I don't like it! How would YOU like it if we all called you 'Merry' on camera?
Dominic: But you do...
Billy: Don't mock me!
*Other 3 actors stare at one another, exchanging Here-we-go-again and What-an-idiot glances*
(Off Camera)-
Some Guy: *to P.J.* Don't you get tired of this?
P.J.: Na, we're used to it. We go through this one every day. Why do you think these movies take so long to shoot?

[Feared Half-Elf]

Er, Lily B? What plan, where?

*In Rohan*

Legolas: *Drawing bow* He stands not alone. You would die before your stroke fell. Oops! *Accidently lets go. Eomer collapses with arrow in head*

Aragorn: Er, are you physic (Sp? I can't spell!) or something?

[Elennar Starfire]

Saruman's plan for Helms Deep, which was ruined by the old guy who shot an arrow, killed an orc, and made the other orcs very mad, so that they attacked. If the plan had succeeded, I think the orcs would have won, because everyone else would be so scared.

The orcs bang their spears against the ground to make a beat. Grima climbs up on a rock, and begins to sing Michael Jackson songs. (He dances, too)

Scary thought... smilies/eek.gif

[Lily Bombadil]

Oh, there is no plan, Feared Half-Elf. I just like to quote Dr. Evil.

Rather than loading Sam up with veggies, it's Mrs. Maggot's underwear.

[Everdawn]

The orcs bang their spears against the ground to make a beat. Grima climbs up on a rock, and begins to sing Michael Jackson songs. (He dances, too)

Yeah i can imagine it now.. "The way you make me feel..."
I cant believe it! My school workload has made me seriously unfunny and illcreative! I cant think of a single thing, damn i hate this stupid "virus" if i may call it such a thing, i will have to wait for it to pass. Bear with me...

[Elennar Starfire]

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The orcs bang their spears against the ground to make a beat. Grima climbs up on a rock, and begins to sing Michael Jackson songs. (He dances, too)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah i can imagine it now.. "The way you make me feel..."



Actually, I was thinking 'Thriller.' The music video isn't quite so...disturbing. smilies/eek.gif The orcs dance, too. And did I mention that Grima is wearing a bright red jacket?

I am learning the dance from Thriller in my modern dance class. 'Tis very odd. Since I have to listen to it every day, it gets stuck in my head. Very annoying.

[Lily Bombadil]

Argh! Grima + Michael Jackson? Well... It's actually more amusing than scary...


Have a look at the Old Forest:

Click if you will!!! (http://www.network54.com/Forum/268070)

[Finwe]

(Here's my Monty Python blooper for the day!)

(After the huge, evil-looking ladder-arrow-thing impales that random Rohirrim warrior)

Random Rohirrim warrior (from deep inside Helm's Deep): I'm all right!

Another Random warrior: He's all right!

1st Random Warrior: I'm getting better!

2nd Random Warrior: He's getting better!

(Just then, all the Uruks rush in, and kill the poor git anyway.)

[Lily Bombadil]

He's alright!

The thing about this little beauty, is that it never gets old.

[legolas luver*1]

In Moria when Frodo shows the company whats under his shirt, insted of mail its a steel bra.
Pippin: I see Mordor,I see the Shire. I see Frodo's under-wire!

[legolas luver*1]

Scene with crabine.
Gandalf: Spies of Sa-
Legolas: Uh guys, I think I'm caught in a thorn bush.
smilies/eek.gif

[ November 03, 2003: Message edited by: legolas luver*1 ]

[Feared Half-Elf]

Love the steel bra idea!

In Rohan...

Aragorn: Legolas, what do your elf eyes see?
Legolas: Er, nothing, the world is fuzzy...
Gimli: Did you forget your specs again? You must be the stupidest elf on the planet!
Legolas: That's just silly! Have you met everyone on the planet?

Hey, look. I'm a wight!

[ November 03, 2003: Message edited by: Feared Half-Elf ]

[Sleepy Ranger]

Can I join in?
(I'm not sure if its in the movie but its in the game.)

Moria, The Cave Troll comes in-
Boromir:Legolas, we need your bow.
Leggers:Here take it *tosses his bow and quiver to Boromir* I've got an apointment with my hair stylist in half an hour, can't be late now can I?

Oh well atleast I tried.

[Sleepy Ranger]

Another one I hope it han't been done before.

Frodo follows Galadriel to he mirror, Galadriel turns around and sees Frodo.

Galdriel-GET OUT OF MY BATHROOM,YOU CREEP!!!!!!!!!!

Oh well I thought it was funny

[Lindril Arvilya]

*acts like a 7-year-old*

In the last two pages, we've said "underwear", "bra", and "bathroom"! Hee hee hee!


The best part about being a university student doing midterms is that everyone understand when you go insane and revert back to your childhood. Underwear. Hee hee.

[Feared Half-Elf]

Um, are you feeling OK?

At Helm's Deep

Legolas: 300 against 10000? They will all die.
Aragorn: Will they? I never thought about that. Run! *Runs out of the room. Is seen a few minutes later riding away across Rohan on a pink Barbie tricycle*
Legolas: That explains a lot!

[Arothir]

Scene where Faramir says he' going to shoot Gollum. He has a rather dazed look to me.

Faramir: Shooting him will be for his own good. For what purpose do we exist? Why do any of us exist, trapped in this mad world?

PJ: Cut! Cut! Last time I do a movie based on a novel with philospophical value!

[Finwe]

At Helm's Deep, right before Aragorn orders the archers inside the Deep to fire.

Aragorn: FIRE!!!!!

(All the archers in the tower fire. Suddenly, everyone starts snickering.)

Aragorn: What? What? We're in the middle of a bloody battle to save our bloody lives! What is so funny?!?!?!

Legolas: Um.... Aragorn... buddy... pal... I don't know how to say this to you, but a few of those arrows sliced off the seat of your leggings. And, well, I don't think Arwen meant for you to wear those baby-blue boxers she embroidered in the middle of a battle.

Aragorn: NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! *runs off into the Tower and changes*

[Lindril Arvilya]

Legolas: 300 against 10000? They will all die.
Aragorn: Shoot. I... uh... oh man. Dammit.
Legolas: Don't you have, like, a back-up plan or something?
Aragorn: What am I, a freakin' Wizard here?

[Everdawn]

Scene: Théoden and Gandalf outside Théodred's tomb...

Gandalf: His spirit is strong, he will find his way to the houses of your forebears...

**Hears a knocking from the inside of the tomb*** "Dad!"

Théoden: No parent should have to bury their child...

Théodred: Im not dead! Will someone get me the hell out of here!

Théoden: I can still hear his voice upon the air... (Gandalf and Théoden begin to walk away)

Théodred smilies/frown.gif from inside the tomb) Help!... someone, please!... Dad?.. anyone there? HELLLPPPPP! Im not dead! I was just badly wounded!!! I went to sleep for two seconds i swear!... guys?.. bugger....

[Feared Half-Elf]

Eowyn is stood in front of Meduseld. Suddenly, Grima 'accidently' drops a handful of coins on the floor and crawls around picking them up while looking uo her skirt.

Grima: Hehehehehehehehehehehehe!
Eowyn: *Screams, runs away and bursts into tears*

[Lindril Arvilya]

Aragorn and Boromir strive away at trying to clear a path in the snow on Caradhras.
Boromir: Uh... Aragorn, I'm tired. And hungry.
Aragorn: Look, so am I, but there's nothing else we can do. This is the only way out.
(They look up to see Legolas strolling away on top of the snow.)
Boromir: Let me at him.
Aragorn: No... no. Calm blue ocean....
Legolas: See you later, guys, I'm just going out for a bite of pizza and some Pepsi.
Aragorn: Die!!!!!

[Sleepy Ranger]

this popped into my head for some reason
Moria, The Cave Troll comes in-
Boromir:Leggers, we need your bow.
Legolas:No, you can't have it, its mine, my preciousss, It came to....waitadarnedminute what the you just call me?
Troll: Guys..????

[Elennar Starfire]

Everdawn, that was brilliant! I wish I could be as funny as you.

Eowyn: Where is she? The woman who gave you that jewel?

Aragorn: She is sailing to Valinor, with all that is left of her kin.

Eowyn: Then...Ummm...She won't care if you make out with me! Right? She won't know!

Aragorn: I never thought of that! *they start making out*

[Lily]

*In Moria, and Legolas is in front of like 20 orks*
*He reaches back for his arrows and finds none*
Legolas: AAAHHH!! *runs away while orks shoot arrows and throw daggers*

[Finwe]

(As Theoden chases Grima down the stairs, he trips and falls down the stairs.)

Theoden: *tumble tumble tumble* BONK!!!!!

Grima & everyone else: *snicker snicker*

[Leighann]

in TTT when Theoden tries to block the door, but is stabbed in the shoulder, then aragorn comes and asks him how much time he needs...

theoden: Well, actually i have to go to the bathroom, so if you could...

[Everdawn]

Why thankyou Elennar

Gimli, Aragron and Legolas in the forest where they encounter Gandlaf the White. There is a blinding light and out of it steps Marilyn Manson.

Gimli: Ahhh!
Aragorn: Run!
Legolas: Melkor! Melkor!

SCENE: Council of Elrond. Elrond has just given his first speech. Ozzy Osbourne is also in attendance **dont ask**

Ozzy: Well this is f$#@%d!, your all
f%$#@#g mad!
Boromir: And what would a mere... whatever you are... know of this matter?
Legolas: This is no mere... whatever he is, He is Ozzy Osbourne, he bit the head off a bat, sure as hell he wont hesitate on you.
Ozzy (to legolas): Shut the f@$k up you pointy eared bloody freak!
Legolas: But Ozzy!
Ozzy: Stands up and walks out** Im gettijng out of here, your all bloody mad!

[Finwe]

Ai Holy Elbereth! You just gave me the greatest mental picture of Ozzy Osbourne as Elrond, instead of Hugo Weaving!!!!! I can just picture it:

Ozzy: You f$$!@^& are the f@$&$#^! Fellowship of the f@$&$#^! Ring!!!!!!! You're all f@$&$#^! crazy!