J.R.R. Tolkien in a minute...

[Ainaserkewen]

The Hobbit (http://www.rinkworks.com/bookaminute/b/tolkien.hobbit.shtml)

FOTR (http://www.rinkworks.com/bookaminute/b/tolkien.fellowship.shtml)

TTT (http://www.rinkworks.com/bookaminute/b/tolkien.twotowers.shtml)

ROTK (http://www.rinkworks.com/bookaminute/b/tolkien.returnking.shtml)

LOTR-animated movie (http://www.rinkworks.com/badmovie/m/the.lord.of.the.rings.1978.shtml)

Got these from a friend, try'em out, they're hilarious!

[ November 03, 2003: Message edited by: Ainaserkewen ]

[Sapphire_Flame]

*dies laughing* smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif Those are hysterical!!!

Abedithon le,

~*~Aranel~*~

[elfearz1]

hehe yeah, those are great! I've seen other people make their own. They did pretty good. smilies/biggrin.gif

[Amarantha_Daisy]

Hee hee! smilies/biggrin.gif Those were hilarious! I especially loved the TTT one... heh heh. Most excellent.

Elfearz, that's a good idea...I want to try and do one of my own...

[elfearz1]

Yeah, I was going to suggest that we all do it kind of like the new movie script only line by line or something. That's kinda of like listing, though so we'd have to clear it with Mr.Barrow-wight.

[Meneltarmacil]

I just came up with one for the Silmarillion.

(The Ainur show up. Morgoth turns BAD. He gets BEAT UP. But then he comes back. But then he gets BEAT UP again.)

(The Elves show up and a lot of STUFF happens.)

(Morgoth comes BACK! Ungoliant kills the trees! Morgoth steals some big flashy jewel-thingies!)

FEANOR: I want those jewels back!

MANWE: No.

FEANOR: I don't care! I'm going anyway!

(The Noldor leave and a lot of STUFF happens! Some GUY gets his hand bitten off! Some other GUY marries his sister and kills this DRAGON! A lot of other pointless stuff happens!)

EARENDIL: Let's go beat up Morgoth!

MANWE: Ok.

(Morgoth gets BEAT UP again! A lot of other stuff happens, but nobody really cares about that.)

[ November 05, 2003: Message edited by: Meneltarmacil ]

[Anything but Arwen]

Some GUY gets his hand bitten off! Some other GUY marries his sister and kills this DRAGON!

*Dies laughing* Oh, my favourite two stories of the Silmarillion, butchered to a sentence. Genius. Pure Genius...

Yah...anyway, I made this up explain LOTR to an annoying townie girl...its more FOTR than anything else though...
Lord of the Rings (Abridged)

A small fella takes a Ring with evil powers to be destroyed in a volcano, along with a multi-racial team of Do-Gooders. They traverse a deadly mine and an enchanted wood, purseued by the bad guys and the Ring's previous (and somewhat derranged) incumbent. The team leader snuffs it, (making a comeback later), before the group spilts over internal differences. Post schism, the titchy hero and best pal make for the lava, via a giant spider's lair. Meanwhile, the others, one a hushed up King, rustle up some big old battles to distract the big kahuna. The Ring is dispatched flamewards. All is well. Sort of.

[ November 04, 2003: Message edited by: Anything but Arwen ]

[Sapphire_Flame]

Meneltarmacil, that's so funny! smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif

*dies laughing again*

Abedithon le,

~*~Aranel~*~

[Ainaserkewen]

I made this up explain LOTR to an annoying townie girl

Did she understand I wonder?

[Amarantha_Daisy]

Hee hee! you guys are geniuses! smilies/biggrin.gif

The Noldor leave and a lot of STUFF happens! Some GUY gets his hand bitten off! Some other GUY marries his sister and kills this DRAGON! A lot of other pointless stuff happens!

Hee hee... So funny, yet so true... smilies/tongue.gif

Meanwhile, the others, one a hushed up King, rustle up some big old battles to distract the big kahuna.

Big kahuna! smilies/biggrin.gif Ahhh... laughing so...hard... Remind me not to eat while reading this thread...

[Anything but Arwen]

Did she understand I wonder?


Actually, no, she didnt. She was one of those irritating girls who go "Awrig' then, wots the big deal 'bout this Ring stuff?" so I explained that and she said "Gawd, sands (I THINK she meant SOUNDS..) a loada rubbish to me. I like them...'Arry Potter films, yer, they're awrig'"...


Ah well, some you lose...

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Ha! Those are funny! Can I try making my Silm, too?

OK, here goes.

Eru: Ea. (Ea appears) Go there, and don't come back. Don't mess up the furniture.

(The Ainur go to Ea. Morgoth goes bad. The good guys round him up. The elves appear.)

Oromë: This way, guys!

(Elves multiply. Some dude makes shiny stones. Morgoth likes shiny stones. He steals them.)

Fëanor: Hey, bring those back!

(Some irrelevant things happen. Two half-elves meet, their son goes to the Ainur.)

Earendil: Do you want the shiny stones? Come and get it!

(Eonwe and the gang mop up Morgoth.)

THE END. Hope you like it!

Later days! smilies/cool.gif
->banakil on mumakil

[ November 12, 2003: Message edited by: Nilpaurion Felagund ]

[Everdawn]

Some other GUY marries his sister

Who married their sister?

Jeez, i should know it too!

[Sirithheruwen]

Turin Turambar.

[Daisy Brambleburr]

Boromir: Frodo Baggins, give me the Ring.
Frodo: No.
Boromir: What have I done? (dies)


Just had to put that quote in, but it made me laugh so much. I love these things!

[Finwe]

*keels over and dies laughing* Even though I'm something of a Tolkien purist, I still really want to see Ralph Bakshi's LotR, just so I can fall over in convulsive fits of laughter. smilies/biggrin.gif

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

I just wondered...ever notice how the parts we love are called irrelevant in such a summary?

Later days! smilies/cool.gif
->Elenrod

[Daisy Brambleburr]

*keels over and dies laughing* Even though I'm something of a Tolkien purist, I still really want to see Ralph Bakshi's LotR, just so I can fall over in convulsive fits of laughter.

The Ralph Bakshi movie (dare I say it) does have its merits. If you're feeling down or bored, get some friends, put the movie on and coldheartedly laugh and make fun of it whilst it's playing. Me and my brother do this. I've got my 'Ringwraith' and my 'Sam-running' impressions down to a tee smilies/biggrin.gif Works especially well when you get to the Treebeard part. smilies/wink.gif

[Sindafalathiel]

*keels over and dies laughing* Even though I'm something of a Tolkien purist, I still really want to see Ralph Bakshi's LotR, just so I can fall over in convulsive fits of laughter.

Oh, it's quite funny. Near caused my death too. Even him, with all that bad animation, cannot be bothered to put in Glorfindel. I only remember this:

ARAGORN: Ah, Legolas!
ME:*donates her body to scientists who research spontaneous combustion* BOOM!

[Alatariel Telemnar]

hee hee, very funny, Ainaserkewen smilies/biggrin.gif

(Gandalf frees THEODEN and overthrows SARUMAN. A bunch of IRRELEVANT stuff happens. Then the PLOT starts up again.)<< well thats summing it all up in one sentence, wait.. two.. three, yes three... heh...

[Lord of Angmar]

My personal favorite was

BOROMIR:
What have I done? (dies)

Quite a sad (albeit hilarious) take on Tolkien's works.

[Catherine]

Very Very Funny....my fav. was TTT!