The Worst (or Greatest) LotR Movie Cast...

[willkill4food]

Now, what would be the funniest possible cast you could imagine for lotr? here is my unnfinished cast...

Gandalf: Sean Connery (I swear the man could play any character, and I want to here "Ish it Shafe, ish it shecret?")
Aragorn: Pierce Brosnan (no idea why...only name that came to mind at the moment)
Saruman: Alex Trebek (If you ahve seen SNL's celebrity jeopardy, you know what I am going for here)
Frodo: Woody Allen (dont need any explaining here)
Arwen: Cameron Diaz (Diaz's stupid ditzy blond character fits PJs portrayle of Arwen perfectly)
Borormir: Christopher Walken (No doubt in the viewer mind that Boromir is evil)
Tom Bombadil: Chris Farley (I know hes dead, but thats what cloning is for)
Merry, Pippin, Sam and Fatty Bulgar: The Baldwin brothers (Alex, Billy, Stephen and Daniel, respectivly)
Galadrial: Barbra Steissand (/me braces for the lynching)
Elrond: Hugo Weaving (what you say? its the same guy! But in my version he would be in a suit and wear sunglasses and refer to everyone as "Mr. Anderson")
Gimli: Robin Williams (With a big beard and long hair of course, and if you thought gimli was a normal, pretty deep and interesting character before, wait until he is pure comedic relief)
Legolas: Ashton Kutcher (If you though Orlando Bloom atracted fangirls, wait until you see Ashton with waist long hair and a bow)

Now that you have probably passed out from the pain of imaging these people in your favorite movie...i will be running along in order to avoid the lynch mob...

-willkill

[Rindoien, elf of Lothlorien]

hehe :P

[Meela]

Okay, here's my cast...

Arwen: Audrey Hepburn
Aragorn: Clark Gable
Eowyn: Julie Andrews
Denethor: Jack Nicholson
Faramir: David Blaine


I'm running out of time, so I'll fill the rest in later.

[Miriel Undomiel]

I dont know why, but I think Johnny Depp would be a good Aragorn. Or how about:
Jennifer Lopez as Arwen...
Josh Hartnett as Frodo
Tom Welling as Legolas
Brad Pitt as Boromir
Richard Harris as Gandalf (although he is dead now..)
Nicole Kidman as Galadriel
Robbie Coltrane as Gimli

that would just be great, hu?

[The Saucepan Man]

Frodo: Woody Allen

Nice one. smilies/biggrin.gif

OK, this probably won't mean anything to a lot of people here, but it amused me.

The cast of Carry On Questing:

Aragorn: Sid James
Arwen: Joan Simms
Eowyn: Barbara Windsor
Elrond: Kenneth Williams
Galadriel: Hatti Jacques
Gandalf: Frankie Howard
Frodo: Jim Dale
Sam: Peter Butterworth
Merry: Jack Douglas
Pippin: Charles Hawtrey
Legolas: Leslie Phillips
Gimli: Bernard Bresslaw
Boromir: Terry Scott
Theoden: Kenneth Connor

smilies/biggrin.gif

[ November 21, 2003: Message edited by: The Saucepan Man ]

[Everdawn]

Faramir: David Blaine

Haha!

Frodo: Jack Black
Sam: The guy who played lieutenant Winters in Band of Brothers.
Merry: David Hasselhoff
Pippin: Rick from Bold and The beautiful
Aragorn: Russell Crowe
Arwen: Donnatella Versace
Éowyn: Cher/madonna
Théoden: Bob the Builder
Elrond: Ozzy Osbourne
Éomer: Vin Diesel
Gollum: Mick Jagger


**my that is bad..* Together i mean, some of them are good actors..

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Théoden: Bob the Builder


Whoa!

Elrond: Ozzy Osbourne


Go, Ozzy!

Later days! smilies/cool.gif
->Elenrod

[Finwe]

Elrond: Mick Jagger
Glorfindel (even though he wasn't in the movie): Ozzy Osbourne

*shudders* Mick Jagger in Elven robes! *shudders convulsively*

[vanwalossien]

The cartoonist Lise Myhre, the creator of Nemi (see my avatar), made a cartoon about Nemi having a nightmare that TTT was produced in Norway (Norwegian movies are, well, not always good ...). Her cast was, for anyone who know who these people are:
Frodo - Christian Strand
Sam - Tomas von Brömssen
Gandalf - Rolv Wesenlund
Aragorn - Sverre Anker Ousdal
Arwen - Wenche Myhre
Galadriel - Wenche Foss
Legolas - Aune Sand
Gimli - Helge Jordal
Saruman - Bjørn Sundquist
Pippin - Nils Vogt

[ November 22, 2003: Message edited by: vanwalossien ]

[Lady Snickerdoodle]

hahahahahaha.... Legolas: Ashton Kutcher (If you though Orlando Bloom atracted fangirls, wait until you see Ashton with waist long hair and a bow)
hahahahaha.... I can't decide which one I'd want to see as Legolas more... Wait Ashton would look like a girl. ORLI ROCKS MY WORLD!

okay, howabout-
Eowyn- Reese Witherspoon (she would definitely be the only one who could force Aragorn to wash his hair)
Gandalf- the Albus Dumbledore guy. I forget his name. And I mean the first one, not the grasping, pretentious one that usurped his place.
Frodo- Danielle Radcliffe. Okay I know he can't act as well as Elijah can but they look almost exactly the same anyway.
Sauron- the assistant principal at my school, except for the name would have to be changed to Saure (dot accent thingy) because its a she not he. She is so evil- lurking in the dark corners of the girls bathroom to make sure we don't hang around in there and badmouth teachers who deserve to be anyway. And she wears a huge oversized gold ring too. Coincidence? I think not!

[Duncariel]

Uhhh... the original Dumbledore died, didn't he?

These are all awesome! Pity that I have no imagination today...

[Miriel Undomiel]

the original Dumbledore was played by Richard Harris, I think...
Just seen X-men! How about Hugh Jackman as Aragorn? But he would have to keep his knifes!!! smilies/biggrin.gif

EDIT: Yes, the old Dumbledore died and the new one looks FAKE!!!! smilies/mad.gif

[ November 25, 2003: Message edited by: Miriel Undomiel ]

[Feared Half-Elf]

Gandalf: Sean Connery

Hehehehehehehehehehe.
Oh, by the way, he was actually offered the part but turned it down because he didn't want to spend:
18 months in Australia
Or that's what Movie Mistakes, Uncovered, Uncut said. Funny, I'm sure they were filming in New Zealand...

Galadriel: The woman from My Family, I've got a really funny image of her standing on the bank waving goodbye!
Legolas: Heath Ledger. How many fit guys can we get to play this part? smilies/evil.gif

[Meela]

You mean Zoe Wanamaker?

I think Kenneth Branagh should play Legolas. Or Miranda Otto.

Grima: Alan Rickman.

[Ainaserkewen]

Hey, if Ashton Kutcher can play Legolas, let's have versions of the movie with all sorts of different Heartthrobs. I can just immagine Justin Timberlate in that position.

I can also imagine, oh what's his name...luke Skywalker trying out for Frodo. He'd be pidgeonholed all over again! Just what he wants.

Plus, that Picardo guy...the one who plays the Doctor on star trek: Voyager. I think he'd do a fine job.

[Vuelve]

I can just immagine Justin Timberlate in that position.

*hurls* that would be horrible *hurls again*


Ozzy as Glorfindel

Could you imagine him when he is supposed to save Frodo but Arwen does instead.
Ozzy:"Hey I'm like the freaking cool elf.I was the one who freaking got to come back after fighting the freaking Balrog. I should be saving the midget.Sharon!!!"

lol sry i get a little carried away. Ozzy would be funny for any character.


Black and Green on My Computer Screen,
Vuelvs'

[kittiegirl]

Ozzy would be funny as Glorfindel, he'd probably kill Liv Tyler in his attempt to get onscreen which would.....
No, that would be too terrible.

[Luthien_ Tinuviel]

I think Kenneth Branagh should play Legolas. Or Miranda Otto.

Excellent, Meela, just excellent. Miranda Otto as Legolas... who would know the difference? smilies/tongue.gif (Just kidding, honestly! Don't kill me!)

Plus, that Picardo guy...the one who plays the Doctor on star trek: Voyager. I think he'd do a fine job.


What, Frodo as a robot? It could work, actually....

But what else could be done? If you want a truly awful cast, just imagine the hobbits being played by Teletubbies...... I think you get the picture.

[TheSquireof Aragorn]

HAH! Agent Smith as Elrond! Me and my friends have considered that one before, and i don't know about anyone else but i think that is a great basis for s spoof movie.
Just think, Misssster Baggins, welcome to Rivendell, WE've been expecting you.

[Meela]

Arwen: Dolly Parton.

(I'm listening to her song Jolene over and over, and it reminds me of Arwen singing to Eowyn~ the song is about Dolly singing to Jolene, telling her not to take her man, in case you didn't know. Kinda reminds me of the Aragorn/Arwen/Eowyn triangle.)

Frodo: Exene Cervenka

Disturbing image, but...

Rose Cotton: Peter Jackson.

[Ainaserkewen]

just imagine the hobbits being played by Teletubbies
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! That's a cross-fanfiction disaster!

You guys know who Eric Idol is right? He's part of Monty Python's flying circus...you know, the dirty old (insanely funny) british man. He'd do well as Gandalf, don't you think?

[Nimrothiel]

Ha ha, I can picture that.

Frodo/John Cleese: "And now for something completly different..."

Gandalf/Eric Idol: "It'ssss..."

Merry (or Pippin)/announcer: "J. R. R. Tolkein's Lord of the Rings: 'The Fellowship of the Ring/Two Towers/Return of the King.'"

Well, it was funny in my head.

Lurtz: Arnold Schwarzenegger
Aragorn: (young) Harrison Ford
Frodo: Mark Hammil
Denethor: Ozzy Osbourne (got that image/idea from a funny pic)

Okay, that's enough. I gotta go sleep off some of that turkey I ate.

[THE Ka]

Ok. i suck at actor names, so i've got a different view. I'm going to use all celebrities i can think of.(That includes noble prize winners).


Boromir/ Adam Sandeler( I just had to do it. You would know why if you've seen Anger Management.)

Gandalf/Jack nichelson( my favorite actor of all time is jack. And with gandalf's wisdom and jack's words this will go down in history.)

Aragorn/ Sam from Cheers.( they both have the same type of ideas. Why not?)

Sam/ Stiffler from American pie. ( just comes to mind.)

Frodo/ Asten Coucher (When he played in dude where's my car? Stiffler also played in this movie. they both had a mission. Not like frodo's . but simular.)

Saruman/ Anthony Hopkins ( Hello Clarese...)

Elrond/ Shawn Connery( 007 and Elrond? Red October and Elrond? Shawn Connery and Elrond? They both are motivating speakers as far as i'm conserned.)

Legolas/Jack Black( Yah. i know what your thinking. i'm a freak. right. well, most people have shrines of Leggy why not Jack Black?)

I could think of hundreds more. but, just for safety, i'll leave you with these few. Good bye.


OH! before i go i must tell YOU ALL about something. According to Rum and Monkey .com i'm a:

Insane ninja child!
The blast must have hit you particularly strong, because you've gained a billion new superpowers and can take on anyone you want. Even that kid Gunrock-with-nine-arms from down the street. Only problem is, it's driven you completely insane and you now have a thirst for blood equalled only by your thirst for vengeance.

Sounds interresting... I didn't know a nuclear blast could do that to a ka.

[Feared Half-Elf]

You mean Zoe Wanamaker?

Thanks, Meela, thats exactly who I was thinking of. I have this really strange image of her with a blonde wig and white dress!

Legolas: Rowan Atkinson. ('Take him down Legolas!' 'You are entering the most secure area in England.' *Helm's Deep wall blows up*)
smilies/evil.gif

[Everdawn]

Frodo: Iggy Pop.

Aragorn: Steve Irwin

Gandlaf: Bob Marley

[Elentári_O_Most_Mighty_1]

Bob Marley as Gandy!!! Barbara Windsor as Éowyn!!!!!!!! Argh!!!!!!!!!
I can't see many guys being able to wear a long, blonde wig and not look like a girl...Orli is very gifted in that respect...ahem. Oooh, what a talent...my basis for this statement is having watched French and Saunder's spoof ages ago...that guy playing Leggy looked AWFUL!!! And so does Haldir! *Ducks rotten tomatoes from any Haldir fans out there*

Excellent, Meela, just excellent. Miranda Otto as Legolas... who would know the difference? (Just kidding, honestly! Don't kill me!)
*Pulls out a knife* smilies/mad.gif smilies/evil.gif

[Luthien_ Tinuviel]

*Pulls out a knife*

*Steals knife from Elentari* (I love the white knives).

I know I keep suggesting characters of kid's shows, but here goes (It's one of my minor areas of semi-expertise. I was inspired by my family's Christmas present for one of my young cousins- A Bob the Builder video). Anyone who has younger siblings or cousins or even children should probably get this.

Disclaimer: I love most of the characters and have chosen these people to represent them on a solely humorous basis (read as: on impulse).

Frodo: Fozzy
Sam: Kermit
Merry: Elmo
Pippin: Jay-Jay the Jet Plane
Gandalf: Mr. Rogers
Faramir: Brain from Arthur
Legolas: Thomas the Tank Engine smilies/biggrin.gif
Gimli: The Swedish Chef from The Muppets
Eowyn: Francine from Arthur
Arwen: Miss Piggy
Theoden: King Friday
Denethor: Oscar the Grouch
Tom Bombadil: Barney smilies/evil.gif

[Nimrothiel]

"Tom Bombadill: Barney" Shriiiieeeeek!!!!!!!! smilies/eek.gif smilies/eek.gif

[Dûrbwúrz]

OK, this probably won't mean anything to a lot of people here, but it amused me.

The cast of Carry On Questing:

Meant something to me, all you need is to get kenneth williams to do the infamy gag...

[Finwe]

Boromir: Arnold Schwarzenegger

Denethor: Ozzy Osbourne (Come on! The pyromania gives it all away!)

Legolas: Billy Idol ( smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif)

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Rose Cotton: Peter Jackson.

That would be...disturbing.

Or he could play the dead director who messed up the movies...

Legolas: Rowan Atkinson. ('Take him down Legolas!' 'You are entering the most secure area in England.' *Helm's Deep wall blows up*)

I loved that movie!

Arwen: Miss Piggy

Denethor: Oscar the Grouch

How perfect!

Pardon the incoherence... smilies/rolleyes.gif

Aragorn: Oded Fehr...you know, the guy who played the lead Megai(sp?) on The Mummy and The Mummy Returns?

Arwen: Kristin Kreuk(or she could make a good Lúthien...)

Bilbo: Billy Crystal... smilies/biggrin.gif


Later days! smilies/cool.gif
->Elenrod

[Tar-Alcarin]

Elrond: Ozzy Osbourne
I can see it now:

ozzy:That F$#&@%g ring be wasted in the fires of the S@$ty mountain s#@t. Who the f@#k wants to BOOBS!

arwen(sharon) Not boobs ozzy, destroy that f&%@ing ring.

Jack as frodo: I will take that f@%#ing ring to...Where the f#$k are we going again. That d&#khead hobbit. I never should have left Bilbos f@#king party last night. All those girls...*starts salivating like homer*

hehehehehe

[Mariska Greenleaf]

Legolas: Billy Idol

Hey, don't offend Billy!!! smilies/wink.gif

Gollem: Michael Jackson.
They would be able to save a lot af money on the make-up there...

[Nimrothiel]

Hahahahahhaha!!!! smilies/biggrin.gif

[doug*platypus]

ROFL!! This thread has SO many great calls on it. OMG, I would LOVE to see Woody Allen as Frodo!

Here's some cool ideas:

GIMLI: Mel Brooks
FRODO: Thom Yorke of Radiohead (YAY! WOOHOO!)
GOLLUM: Bart Simpson (sorry, too silly)
BOROMIR: John Cleese
WORMTONGUE: Marilyn Manson
ELROND: Silent Bob
LEGOLAS: Julian Clary (Bloom is the least amusing actor on this planet and doesn't deserve a light-hearted elf role. Go on flame me, I don't care anymore.)

Link to Your Ideal Cast (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=4&t=001594&p=2).

[Finwe]

Now I'm going to have nightmares of Michael Jackson in a loincloth! PLEASE! ANYTHING is better than that. I will voluntarily throw myself into Morgoth's mines to escape that kind of torment!


[SQUEEEEEE!!!! I hit 1500!!!! I hoped that my SAT scores would be that high, but apparently not! smilies/biggrin.gif]

<font size=1 color=339966>[ 9:35 PM December 10, 2003: Message edited by: Finwe ]

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

[SQUEEEEEE!!!! I hit 1500!!!! I hoped that my SAT scores would be that high, but apparently not! ]


Congrats! smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif

(Bloom is the least amusing actor on this planet and doesn't deserve a light-hearted elf role. Go on flame me, I don't care anymore.)


I agree. For crying out loud, his last role before LotR(I think) was falling from a helicopter!!!

Gollem: Michael Jackson.


Nope, sorry. He's too weird to be Gollum.

Now if he were to be Sauron, or a Nazgûl...

Later days! smilies/cool.gif
-&gt;Elenrod

[Finwe]

Oi! Stop insulting Lan! I'll have you know that Orlando Bloom can take out ANY of the other actors, ANY day! smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif


(Yep, I just had a Nazgirl moment. smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/evil.gif)

BTW, I don't see YOU jumping out of helicopters Nilpaurion! It takes skill to fall from one of those and still look gorgeous! I don't see YOU doing it! smilies/evil.gif

<font size=1 color=339966>[ 1:00 PM December 11, 2003: Message edited by: Finwe ]

[Lord of Angmar]

This thread is absolutely horrifying.

Woody Allen as Frodo? How about John Wayne as Aragorn and Clint Eastwood as Boromir? Sean Penn as Faramir? Charleton Heston as Denethor?

Cheers,
Angmar

*departs with a shudder*

<font size=1 color=339966>[ 2:16 PM December 11, 2003: Message edited by: Lord of Angmar ]

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

BTW, I don't see YOU jumping out of helicopters Nilpaurion! It takes skill to fall from one of those and still look gorgeous! I don't see YOU doing it! smilies/evil.gif

You can't, and you won't. You know why? Those things are *whispers* classified...but believe me, I look absolutely gorgeous rappelling from a Black Hawk into some desert... smilies/evil.gif

Nah. Just messing with your mind. On with the show...

This thread is absolutely horrifying.

Welcome to this side of the 'Downs, Lord of Angmar... smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/wink.gif smilies/evil.gif

<font size=1 color=339966>[ 3:50 AM December 12, 2003: Message edited by: Nilpaurion Felagund ]

[Miriel Undomiel]

I agree with Finwe!!!! I don't see you fighting pirates, africans, Uruk-Hais and Orcs!!!! I don't see you looking like an angel/ainu!!!!(partly because I can't see you at all)
But the Legolas-part was for someone goodlooking(like Orlando). The part's not that important. He's the elf of the Fellowship, not the main character of the movie.

[Trippo The Hippo]

I hope nobody took this yet but this is the only character I have so far.

Frodo: Haley Joel Osment

"I see ringwraiths!"

[Everdawn]

No that comes in the dead marshes, then he could really say. "I see dead people"

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

I don't see you fighting pirates, africans, Uruk-Hais and Orcs!!!! I don't see you looking like an angel/ainu!!!!(partly because I can't see you at all)

(emphasis mine)


smilies/smile.gif Exactly. You can't see me, so you can't see how majestic I look in a bow-and-arrow(or for that matter, with a squad automatic weapon...) I leave you to your imagination, then.

Anywhen, to stay on-topic...

When I read "The Scouring of the Shire," this is what I see:

Saruman: **** Dastardly.

Womtongue: Muttley.

Later days! smilies/cool.gif
-&gt;Elenrod

EDIT: Where did those **** come from? Anywhen, I was referring to the evil character with his muttering dog from an old cartoon series "Wacky Races."

<font size=1 color=339966>[ 10:11 PM December 14, 2003: Message edited by: Nilpaurion Felagund ]

[Miriel Undomiel]

Sorry... Didn't mean to get agressive...

But how about George W. Bush as Denethor?
A leader who doesn't seem to know what he's doing. (sorry if I'm mean to Americas leader. Norways' 'leader' is stupid, and we are allowed to say it in public smilies/wink.gif )

[Nimrothiel]

That's okay, we have freedom of speech in America, so I guess we can't take offense. However, we did manage to capture Saddam, the dirty S.O.B.... smilies/mad.gif smilies/evil.gif

(Yay! This is my 100th post! smilies/biggrin.gif )

[doug*platypus]

You count that as a post?

Seriously, please don't bring up that topic here. It will only encourage endless debate on that matter, and many others relating to recent events, which have absolutely no relevance on this site.

There are plenty of chatrooms out there, let's try and keep the Barrow Downs for Tolkien only. Now, if you had said something related to the thread like:

TOM BOMBADIL: Saddam Hussein.
GIMLI: Saddam after a few months without a razor.

That would be another matter entirely!