All-Downs Summarise Tolkien Competition

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

It had to happen sooner or later: a chat room, a Friday night, a silly conversation and behold! The greatest challenge since Monty Python used almost the exact same joke thirty years ago. The rules are simple: summarise anything written by J.R.R. Tolkien in ten words or less.

Bear in mind that while this isn't going to be the most serious of threads I do expect a certain degree of intelligence to the silliness. Simply putting down the first random phrase that comes into your head is not acceptable. Try to think of it as summarising Proust, but in English and with more Silmarils. Also I've been asked to point out that this is an officially sponsored thread. By whom is a mystery even to those of us who know that I mean the Barrow-Wight.

To start us off, here's my own rendition of the entirety of The History of Middle-earth.

Long time, no Sil

Thank you and good night.

[ 8:31 PM November 28, 2003: Message edited by: The Squatter of Amon Rûdh ]

[The Barrow-Wight]

Ten words or less? Yikes! Sounds very challenging but also fun - if done with a bit of thought.

And now for my attempt at alliterative summarizing The Lord of the Rings in ten words or less.
"Runts roll Ring 'round riders, ruining ruling rogue's rotten ruse"Extra points for tongue-twisting?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

I see no reason why not. Also for writing in one of Tolkien's languages or alphabets. If you can combine all of these factors, you get a free gasp of amazement.

Unfortunately the only points we've been able to find are pre-war Ruritanian Economy Points, which are just like ordinary points, except that they evaporate as soon as they're awarded.

[Arvedui III]

Heheh, that's great.

Ten words...Gulp. Herm, well since no one's done the Silmarillion, I'll try.

Gods make and brake stuff. Elves kill for/destroy jewels

[ 9:35 PM November 28, 2003: Message edited by: Arvedui III ]

[The Barrow-Wight]

Time for a little tough love....

Any chance we could spellcheck our entries first? Honestly, Squatter did ask for an intelligent effort. How difficult could it be to put it in a word processor and hit F7?

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Hmmm...Interesting...Skillfully crafting a collage of less than eleven words to say what Tolkien has taken most of his life to perfect...I like it!

The entirety of LotR...

No Vala wants his/her hands dirty.

[ 9:48 PM November 28, 2003: Message edited by: Nilpaurion Felagund ]

[Cuthalion]

"The Lay of Beren and Luthien"

...a good Lay.

*Don't ban me...it was completely out of my hands* smilies/evil.gif

[Lhunardawen]

This one is for the whole of LotR:

Here is how one measly Ring can shape Middle-Earth.

[ 10:17 PM November 28, 2003: Message edited by: Lhunardawen ]

[Lindril Arvilya]

LotR:

Hobbits save the world, nothing changes for them.

Lindril (oh, I love that sketch) Arvilya

[Elentári_O_Most_Mighty_1]

Erm...LOTR:

'Tale of the corruptive powers of a bit of jewellery'

Ooh, that was ten words exactly!

[Liriodendron]

Did someone say alliterative? (drool)

Lord of the Rings.....Pipsqueak people persevere, pity preserves preternatural, pedigreed planet.

[ 10:18 AM November 29, 2003: Message edited by: Liriodendron ]

[Cuthalion]

LotR...

Formed Fellowship failed, Frodo fled, fiendish "friend" flung finery fire-ward.

[Lindril Arvilya]

Meela, you're hilarious.

[Luthien_ Tinuviel]

One for Roverandom: Dog annoys wizard, travels far. (Not alliterative, I know. It sounds like a newspaper headline.)

[The Barrow-Wight]

Alliteration is not a requirement.

[Luthien_ Tinuviel]

Alliteration is not a requirement.

I know, but I really wanted a pre-war Ruritanian Economy Point to put on my mantelpiece.

How about one for Farmer Giles of Ham? Scare a dragon, become a king, life is good.

Or perhaps one for all of the "canon" works: Jewelry is dangerous and to be avoided at all costs.

[ 8:32 PM November 29, 2003: Message edited by: Luthien_ Tinuviel ]

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

The Silm:

Make world, make trees, make jewels, make war.


LotR:

Long trip, meet people, friends die, almost fail, help arrives.


The Hobbit:

Long trip, meet people, friends die, almost fail, help arrives. smilies/evil.gif


Fea

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Quenta Silmarillion...

Elves flee, made stones,
Morgoth stole.
Elves return, Elves return

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Something for the Book of Lost Tales I

Et Endorello Valinorenna utúlien. Sanan maruvalmë sinomë.


I think prewar Ruritanian Economy Points would be quite nice for awarding, but last I heard, it crashed below sea-level like a Nazgûl.

Or was it NASDAQ?

EDIT: Almaren was non-existent during BoLT I's creation...sorry... :(
[ 2:41 AM December 02, 2003: Message edited by: Nilpaurion Felagund ]

[Feared Half-Elf]

Hobbits save the world, nothing changes for them

That was going to be my one! Oh well, I'll have to put my version too.

Lotr: Nine people, give or take a few, save the world.

Meela, your hilarious

Just my thinking too.

[Mithadan]

Nine plus Seven, Three and One equals zero.

[Ainaserkewen]

How about these?

This one's a random thought concerned with the movies...not part of the contest... Super movie, someone should write a book about it.

Serious one...well not really serious, but, oh never mind!
One ring + crazy quest= minus one finger

[willkill4food]

The Hobbit:

"12 Dwarves on Smaug's chest, yohoho and a thieving hobbit"

a little bit of cheating, but not much...

-willkill

[The Saucepan Man]

smilies/biggrin.gif Some great ones here. Excellent idea, Squatter. smilies/smile.gif

Personally, I like Bilbo's entry for The Hobbit:

There and back again.

smilies/wink.gif

Did someone say alliteration? Now you're talkin' - here are my (unplagiarised) efforts (for LotR):

Representative races rally round Ringbearer, repudiating ruinous ravager’s Ring racket.

and

Hardy Hobbits help heterogeneous humanoids halt heartless horror’s hellish havoc.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Dang Saucepan... how do you do it? I think I'm simply lacking the vocabulary to do as much... Give me a few more years of schooling and I *might* match you... maybe. Here's an alliteration (attempted, at least) for the Silm:

Malefic Melkor makes madrigal, marring mighty Music.

Fea

[vanwalossien]

I'm not very creative, that's common knowledge, but it turns out my friends are. This one is my dear friend Bjørn's summary of the Silm smilies/smile.gif Bad Elves, bad Gods, bad Dwarves, bad Men, happy ending.

[Meela]

Lotr:

All Orcs and no Elves makes Arda a dark place.

[The Saucepan Man]

Dang Saucepan... how do you do it?

Thesaurus.com. smilies/biggrin.gif

Smith of Wooton Major:

Boy eats star, goes far.

[ 11:10 AM December 02, 2003: Message edited by: The Saucepan Man ]

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Thesaurus.com... now I don't feel so guilty about having done my own alliterations using my handy dandy Webster's College Dictionary! smilies/rolleyes.gif

I think... the Hobbit.

Interfering Istari stirs (and stops) many multispecied mishaps.

And...

Main characters' quest almost fails, side characters save them all.

Fea

[Firneldiel Of The Goldenwood]

Evil ring, little hobbit, big war, free-people conquer evil !
~or~
for the FOTR
Fellowship forms, Gandalf in shadow,Lothlorien, Boromir's death, Fellowship breaks.
~or~
for TTT
Smeagul, Ent draught, Gandalf the white, Helm's Deep, Shelob's Lair
~or~
for ROTK
....i wont tell just yet....in case anyone hasn't read the books...

[Lindril Arvilya]

The Two Towers Movie:

This is why you should read what Tolkien really wrote.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

An Alliterative Silmarillion:

Sprite styles Silmarilli. Spider seconds saboteur, starts stealing, spans Sea.


[ 11:34 PM December 02, 2003: Message edited by: Nilpaurion Felagund ]

[Finwe]

Silmarillion:

Dark lord steals jewels, wars, gets his butt kicked.

LotR:

Ring + Suicidal Quest = Dark Lord's Death + (-Finger)

[mark12_30]

LotR:
Ring ruins Frodo's fellowship.

[ 2:28 PM December 03, 2003: Message edited by: mark12_30 ]

[Mariska Greenleaf]

LOTR:

Get a ring and get rid of it.

[HerenIstarion]

For he that attempteth this shall prove but mine instrument

runs true for all of JRRT's works. Who may have said better then himself?

as for mine entries, with a bit of JRRT plagiarism again:

Silmarillion - Then the Ainur were afraid

LoTR - Last meeting of the White Council

The Hobbit - why did I do it, oh my, why did I?

Giles of Ham - certainly, I will do it tomorrow

Smith of Wotton Major - hm, cooks may both be good or bad fellaz

Leaf by Niggle - museums tend to be burned down

Adventures of Tom Bombadil - someone shouting in a boat is definitely a good chap

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Personally, I like Bilbo's entry for The Hobbit:

quote:
------------------------------------------------------------------------
There and back again.
------------------------------------------------------------------------


How about a modification of it for LotR...

There and back again...and there again...

:rolleyes:

[Meela]

Lotr~

A little thing goes a long way.

Here you go, Lindril:

Lotr~

Fight the fire, sling the ring, save the day.

The Hobbit~

Bag 'em, Baggins.

[ 6:03 AM December 05, 2003: Message edited by: Meela ]

[Ainaserkewen]

"Two hobbits, one ring,
the dark eye always watching,
Boom."

I think you all know what story that's from...now one for the Silm.

"Finwe and Miriel should have considered birth control."

[ 1:36 PM December 05, 2003: Message edited by: Ainaserkewen ]

[Lindril Arvilya]

Thanks Meela.

Food, flee, fight, faith, friends, fire, fun.

Lindril (the 7 F's) Arvilya

[mark12_30]

I'm still chuckling over "Boy eats star, goes far." Saucie, my hat's off to you.

[Luthien_ Tinuviel]

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There and back again...and there again...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

and back again.....

I'm still chuckling over "Boy eats star, goes far." Saucie, my hat's off to you.

Yes, that's a great one, but it does sound sort of like my

Dog annoys wizard, travels far.

Oh, well...

Wow, most everything has been done already. How about one for the Narn I Hin Hurin, Tale of Turambar, etc.

Death, doubt, despair, death, doubt, despair.

And it's alliterative, too! A Ruritanian point is mine! smilies/biggrin.gif

[Hilde Bracegirdle]

LoTR
Ring out the old, ring in the new!

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

The Hobbit (Bilbo's perspective):
Long journey, big fight, about to lose, look- the eagles.

LotR (Sam's point of view):
Eavesdropped, shipped on quest, lots of stress, look- the eagles.

The Hobbit (Eagles' perspective):
The mortals screwed up, time to save them... again.

Fea

[Lord of Angmar]

Gimli's fearful trip through the Paths of the Dead:

Doughty dwarf dares dreadful dash down Deadmen's den.

[Finwe]

Gimli's perspective of LotR;


I hate the poncy Elf, I love that Elf.

Legolas's perspective of LotR:


I hate the hairy Dwarf, I love that Dwarf.

[lindil]

Entire Legendarium:

Make baubles, baubles lost/stolen, regain baubles, lose bodyparts/baubles.

[with a little fudging]

<font size=1 color=339966>[ 4:18 PM December 13, 2003: Message edited by: lindil ]

[Finwe]

Fëanor's biography:

Oooh sparklies!, make sparklies, sparklies stolen!, crap, died!

[doug*platypus]

The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit and The Silmarillion in 10 words...
Good eventually triumphs over evil. Plus some other stuff happens.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Whyever did we let this thread fizzle out?

Lord of the Rings, Frodo's perspective:
Got it, lost it. Repeat.
All the Works:
Jewelry-makers rule the world.

[Morsul the Dark]

The hobbit:

Hobbit goes on adventure steals from Dragon becomes extremely rich

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Turin Turambar;

Man is cursed. For fills curse. Kills dragon. Kills self.

[Encaitare]

"Finwe and Miriel should have considered birth control."

Well, it would have saved everyone a lot of trouble...

Maglor's life: Silmarils stolen, got one back, threw it away and mourned

Maedhros' life: chained to cliff, hand chopped off, offed self

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

It always hurts when this thread gets lost...

If I don't aquire the winning bunch of points for this, I should. ;) Summarizing everything:

Melkor's tone-deaf.

[Sophia the Thunder Mistress]

LoTR:

Halfling has hardware, heads harad, hardware hits heat.

Hm, not the best; but a for a first attempt, not bad.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Dour Dwarves delve deep, dabble in dastardly danger and die.

[Lyta_Underhill]

Lord of the Rings as told by Pippin: Walking tour, meet trees, friends, fight, return in triumph.

Cheers!
Lyta

[Rilwen Gamgee]

This could explicate just about any crisis relating to LotR, The Hobbit, or The Sil.:

"Alas! Woe! ...Hey, look, Eagles!"

Or from the Scouring of the Shire:

Ruffians with rumpled raiment ran 'round wrecking.

[Nuranar]

Akallabêth:

Smarmy Sauron scams swaggering sovereign; squadron sails, salty soil soaked.

[Hama Of The Riddermark]

RotK:

Drink Beer, Impossible Odds, Defeat Evil, Get Crowned, Live Happily...

There, RotK in ten words...

[Rose Cotton]

Akallabêth- Lords longing for life lead to lost land.

[Formendacil]

My summaries of the five books of the Silmarillion:

The Ainulindale: Melkor's musical mayhem makes middle-earth its mishaps.

OR

Then God said "Let there be music" and there was music. (Sorry, I realise it's a word too long...)

The Valaquenta: Good things comes in sevens.


The Quenta Silmarillion: Oooh! Shiny! Yuck, blood- love! Oooh! Shiny!

The Akallabêth: What goes up must come down.

The Rings of Power and the Third Age: See also, The Lord of the Rings.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Formendacil, what about;

"God said "Let there be music" and there was music." ?

_____________________________________

Ok here’s my take on 'The Hobbit'

"Dwarves want Gold. Dragon has gold. Dwarves go after Dragon."

OR

"Down Dwarves Drive to defeat Dragon."

Here’s "The Lord of the Rings"

"Ruling ring rocks rural residents"

Wow, that sounds like a Newspaper headline.

[Maeggaladiel]

This one only works for the films-
LOTR (from Frodo's POV)
"Stronger, taller, wiser guy tells me not to do something, I do it."
and
"Stupidly happy, terror, stupidly happy, terror."
or
"Enter monster. Monster tries to eat me. Someone else kills monster. Enter monster. Monster tries to eat me..."

From Legolas' POV

"See monster. Kill it. Look good. See monster. Kill it. Look good."

[Ainaserkewen]

I'm so glad this thread resurfaced...

On that Legolas note my dear Maeggaladiel,

"A Deadly Quest? No, it's advertising!"
*Holds up bow in powerful elven pose*

Eru's sum-up

"I knew I shouldn't have invented Tri-tones! Evil intervals!"

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Fancy fantasy featuring favorable fraternity fearlessly fighting fierce foreign foes.

Just jolly, jumbled, junior jingoism?

Crivvens! Contrary, cohort: cruel claptrap cut, convivial content contained.

Enjoy each element, encourage everyone!

[Alphaelin]

The Hobbit in 10 words or less:

Hobbit travels, discovers ring, lives without handkerchief, makes enemies, returns.

[Galadriel55]

Smith of Wooton Major: I cook better than I cook

TH: All because of a dragon.

Farmer Giles of Ham: All becuse of a different dragon.

COH: All because of a Dark Lord... and a dragon.

LOTR: Dark Lords, fell beasts, Nazgul, spiders... and no dragons.

LOTR from Treebeard's perspective: Hasty humans and wizards creating chaos.

[Galadriel55]

Something for all the works (with a bit of plagiarism :Merisu:):

Fear! Fire! Foes! Awake!