Tolkien puns

[red]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Wight
Posts: 165</TD><TD><img src=http://bestanimations.com/Science/Biology/DNA/DNA-02.gif WIDTH=60 HEIGHT=60></TD></TR></TABLE>
Ok, folks! Put on your silly hats! Let's see how many Tolkien or Middle Earth puns we can come up with to keep ourselves laughing!

Here's one to get us started. Care of our own Underhill...

Elrond Hubbard. &lt;groan&gt; <img src=wink.gif ALT=";)">

-réd

<blockquote><font size=2>

"He was as noble and as fair in face as an elf-lord, as strong as a warrior, as wise as a wizard, as venerable as a king of dwarves, and as kind as summer."</p>

-A Short Rest, The Hobbit</p></blockquote></p>

[The Barrow-Wight]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Wraith of Angmar
Posts: 1851</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: Tolkien puns

Beorn to be Wild

The Barrow-Wight (RKittle)
<font size="2">I usually haunt http://www.barrowdowns.comThe Barrow-Downs</a> and The Barrow-Downs http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgiMiddle-Earth Discussion Board</a>.</p>

[Mister Underhill]

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Posts: 413</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: Tolkien puns

You can't have Elrond Hubbard without Dunedianetics and Sci-Ent-ology.

&quot;That dwarf is a Thorin in my side!&quot;

&quot;I do not Dain to reply.&quot;

Let me think on this some more....


</p>

[The Barrow-Wight]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Wraith of Angmar
Posts: 1852</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: Tolkien puns

Battlefield Middle-Earth

The Barrow-Wight (RKittle)
<font size="2">I usually haunt http://www.barrowdowns.comThe Barrow-Downs</a> and The Barrow-Downs http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgiMiddle-Earth Discussion Board</a>.</p>

[red]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Wight
Posts: 166</TD><TD><img src=http://bestanimations.com/Science/Biology/DNA/DNA-02.gif WIDTH=60 HEIGHT=60></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: Tolkien puns

What are you Tolkien about?

I wasn't Tolkien to you!

Then who were you Tolkien to?

<blockquote><font size=2>

"He was as noble and as fair in face as an elf-lord, as strong as a warrior, as wise as a wizard, as venerable as a king of dwarves, and as kind as summer."</p>

-A Short Rest, The Hobbit</p></blockquote></p>

[Zoe]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Wight
Posts: 198</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: Tolkien puns

I can only come up with one:

A Wight Christmas.

(how appropriate for this board, hey? <img src=wink.gif ALT=";)"> )

</p>

[The Barrow-Wight]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Wraith of Angmar
Posts: 1853</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: Tolkien puns

Good one, Zoe!

Between a Roäc and a Bard place.

The Barrow-Wight (RKittle)
<font size="2">I usually haunt http://www.barrowdowns.comThe Barrow-Downs</a> and The Barrow-Downs http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgiMiddle-Earth Discussion Board</a>.</p>

[Mister Underhill]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Shade of Carn Dûm
Posts: 414</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: Tolkien puns

Háma and cheese sandwich.

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of Curunír. That's what I always say.


</p>

[The Barrow-Wight]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Wraith of Angmar
Posts: 1854</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: Tolkien puns

A pound of Curunir sounds like a heap of trouble to me.

I always read the Faramir's Almanac to find the best weather when I ride in the Tuor de France. Sindar-ella greets me at the finish line.

The Barrow-Wight (RKittle)
<font size="2">I usually haunt http://www.barrowdowns.comThe Barrow-Downs</a> and The Barrow-Downs http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgiMiddle-Earth Discussion Board</a>.</p>Edited by: <A HREF=http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_profile&u=00000002>RKittle</A>&nbsp; <IMG SRC=http://www.barrowdowns.com/images/oneringicon.gif BORDER=0 WIDTH=10 HEIGHT=10> at: 2/10/01 10:10:24 pm

[enep]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Shade of Carn Dûm
Posts: 284</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Puns!

How about a Water-Melian? <img src=devil.gif ALT=":evil">

That's terrible, I know. To get that evil pun out of your mind, here's a Shakespeare one:

&quot;There is something rotten in the state of Denethor's.&quot;

- enep</p>Edited by: <A HREF=http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_profile&u=00000041>enep</A> at: 2/10/01 11:06:10 pm

[red]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Wight
Posts: 167</TD><TD><img src=http://bestanimations.com/Science/Biology/DNA/DNA-02.gif WIDTH=60 HEIGHT=60></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: Puns!

Some of these are real groaners, I know. <img src=biggrin.gif ALT=":D"> Almost all are Underhill's, but I threw in one as well.

Lawyer to his assitant: &quot;Could you get me the Phial of Galadriel?&quot;

Húrin my seat!

Tuor better than one.

HoME, HoME on the ranger!
Where the Dior and the Atani play.

With a Grishnákh, paddy-wack, give a dog a bone... this old man came rolling HoME!

Egg-Nauglamír

Glóin injury.

-réd




<blockquote><font size=2>

"He was as noble and as fair in face as an elf-lord, as strong as a warrior, as wise as a wizard, as venerable as a king of dwarves, and as kind as summer."</p>

-A Short Rest, The Hobbit</p></blockquote></p>

[enep]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Shade of Carn Dûm
Posts: 285</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
More Puns!

Ah! I got another Shakespeare one.

&quot;Neither Boromir, nor of the Lindar be.&quot;

And another:

&quot;And the rest is the Shire.&quot;

And an actual quote from King Lear:

&quot;Poor Tom's a-cold.&quot; <img src=wink.gif ALT=";)">

And two other, non-Shakespeare ones:

&quot;Pass us the Grond!&quot;

&quot;The Baggins did it!&quot;



- enep</p>Edited by: <A HREF=http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_profile&u=00000041>enep</A> at: 2/10/01 11:22:10 pm

[HerenIstarion]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Ghost-Prince of Cardolan
Posts: 598</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns!

Ted Sandyman (or his father) mocking Bilbo's comversation with Smaug;

'I come from under the mill, and under the mills and over the mills my paths led.'

<a href=http://www.geocities.com/gl_century/HerenIstarion.html>HerenIstarion</a></p>

[Voronwe]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Wight
Posts: 142</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns!

I'm Balin out.



-Voronwë
<font size="2">"For Aldarion had become enamoured of the Great Sea, and of a ship riding there alone without sight of land, borne by the winds with foam at its throat to coasts and havens unguessed; and that love and desire never left him until his life's end."</p>

[eledhgil]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Pile o' Bones
Posts: 12</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns!

Didn't Elves Presley sing a song entitled, &quot;Return to Sindar&quot;?

</p>

[Balin999]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Wight
Posts: 218</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns!

ha! i got one!


&quot;You can't charge a Took by it's cover&quot;

Behold the King of Moria!</p>

[Balin999]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Wight
Posts: 219</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns!

hell no sorry


&quot;you can't judge a Took by its cover&quot;

there you go...


Behold the King of Moria!</p>

[Balin999]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Wight
Posts: 220</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns!

another one


There are plenty more pebbles on Belfalas and fish in the Nurnen.

Behold the King of Moria!</p>

[HerenIstarion]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Ghost-Prince of Cardolan
Posts: 610</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns!

Sauron Lennon:

'all you need is ring, (sha-la-la-la-la) all you need is ring (sha-la-la-la-la) all you need is ring, ring, ring, ring is all you need'

<a href=http://www.geocities.com/gl_century/HerenIstarion.html>HerenIstarion</a></p>

[The Barrow-Wight]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Wraith of Angmar
Posts: 1856</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns!

I'm not an English professor, but the last two were not puns.

pun is defined as: A play on words which have the same sound but different meanings; an expression in which two different applications of a word present an odd or ludicrous idea; a kind of quibble or equivalent.

Shockingling low-class example:
Fingolfin's favorite Beatle was Ringil Star.

The Barrow-Wight (RKittle)
<font size="2">I usually haunt http://www.barrowdowns.comThe Barrow-Downs</a> and The Barrow-Downs http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgiMiddle-Earth Discussion Board</a>.</p>Edited by: <A HREF=http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_profile&u=00000002>RKittle</A>&nbsp; <IMG SRC=http://www.barrowdowns.com/images/oneringicon.gif BORDER=0 WIDTH=10 HEIGHT=10> at: 2/11/01 7:09:52 pm

[HerenIstarion]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Ghost-Prince of Cardolan
Posts: 618</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns!

thanks, BW, I had no clear idea of hte meaning of the word and I was too lazy to look it up at a dictionary. So pun is what I call &quot;calambur&quot;. I'll be more attentive from now on <img src=smile.gif ALT=":)">

<a href=http://www.geocities.com/gl_century/HerenIstarion.html>HerenIstarion</a></p>

[eledhgil]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Pile o' Bones
Posts: 13</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns!

One of my favorite TV shows when I was growing up was &quot;Gil-galad's Island&quot;. (Bad one, I know.)
Here's another...
Hasufel? I has...and it don' feel good man!

</p>

[Bilbo 800]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Newly Deceased
Posts: 4</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns!

Put down your Baggins, stay a while.

Tolkien fans UNITE!!! <a href=http://pub53.ezboard.com/bmiddleearth87846>Middle Earth</a>--the ultimate Tolkien RPG

<img src=http://www.angelfire.com/rpg/beatlesdarkwars/lotr.gif>

Proud member of <a href= http://pub28.ezboard.com/blugburz>Lugburz</a>.</p>

[Balin999]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Wight
Posts: 221</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns!

'Road Pippin' ... the new song played by the red hot chili peppers

Behold the King of Moria!</p>

[eledhgil]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Pile o' Bones
Posts: 16</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns!

&quot;They say smoking is a very bad Hobbit!&quot;, said the Troll to the Orc. &quot;And 2nd hand Smaug is even worse for the lungs.&quot; The Orc just shrugged his shoulders and replied, &quot;Yeah. I'll quit someday.&quot; Yet he kept on dragon away on his Orc-pipe.

</p>Edited by: <A HREF=http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_profile&u=00000126>eledhgil</A> at: 2/12/01 9:48:12 pm

[Balin999]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Wight
Posts: 224</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns!

Bloodhound Gang: The Ballad of Isildur's Bane
Dean Martin: That's Amoria



Behold the King of Moria!</p>

[draggonklaw]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Newly Deceased
Posts: 1</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns!

Good one Balin999!
(PS: Eledhgil has changed his name to Draggonklaw)

</p>Edited by: <A HREF=http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_profile&u=00000071>draggonklaw</A> at: 2/13/01 5:26:14 pm

[Gwaihir the Windlord]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Essence of Darkness
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Re: More Puns!

I can come up with but this feeble offering.

'Is it too sweet? Well here, try a Sauron.'

</p>

[draggonklaw]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Newly Deceased
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Re: More Puns!

&quot;Honey, this ring I now give you is a Tolkien of my love for you!&quot; (It's one of the nine!)

</p>Edited by: <A HREF=http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_profile&u=00000071>draggonklaw</A> at: 2/14/01 12:26:51 am

[Odysseus819]

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Re: More Puns!

Morgoth's favorite classic movie: &quot;Grond Illusion&quot;

</p>

[draggonklaw]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Pile o' Bones
Posts: 14</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns!

Gandalf's favorite movie...
Ghan-buri-Ghan with the wind.

</p>

[draggonklaw]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Pile o' Bones
Posts: 16</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns!

Here's another one...
What do you call someone who never cleans their room?
A Shelob!

</p>

[burrahobbit]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Hidden Spirit
Posts: 620</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns!

Goldilocks and the Three Bears.

What's a burrahobbit got to do with my pocket, anyways?</p>

[as eowyn]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Haunting Spirit
Posts: 95</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
More Puns

How about

The Fattest dwarf fell into the river in Mirkwood does that make him a Dive Bombur?

And if he put on the ring would that make him a Stealth Bombur?

And if he's angry he's a Mad Bombur.

Where is your Dwalin place?

Don't get all touchy Fili

Mordor he wrote

Q:Which member of the nine walkers was handicaped?
A:Legolas

How was the dullest?
Bore-o-mir

Ok those were pretty lame but I had to try <img src=smile.gif ALT=":)">


</p>

[The Barrow-Wight]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Wraith of Angmar
Posts: 1876</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns

Actually, those were all great (or as great as puns can be). Mordor he wrote cracked me up. Remember how all of Mrs. Fletcher's friends and neighbors all ended up getting murdered over the run of the series? Just like being friends or neighbors with Sauron. Murder She Wrote was obviously allegorical of the Dark Land and its evil ruler. <img src=smile.gif ALT=":)">

The Barrow-Wight (RKittle)
<font size="2">I usually haunt http://www.barrowdowns.comThe Barrow-Downs</a> and The Barrow-Downs http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgiMiddle-Earth Discussion Board</a>.</p>

[KayQy]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Haunting Spirit
Posts: 87</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns

It's always got to be about you, doesn't it? What about ME?
Sorry, I'm not usually this s-elfish.
<img src=smile.gif ALT=":)">

But tell me, who are you, alone, yourself and nameless?</p>

[burrahobbit]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Hidden Spirit
Posts: 645</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: Tolkien puns

A song to Beren: I Wanna Hold Your Hand (But Can't)

What's a burrahobbit got to do with my pocket, anyways?</p>

[Zoe]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Shade of Carn Dûm
Posts: 277</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: Tolkien puns

Inspired by my breakfast this morning:
<blockquote>Quote:<hr> Thingol: Go your way therefore! Bring me in your hand a jar of Vegemite from Morgoth's kitchen cupboard; and then, if she will, Luthien may set her hand in yours.

Beren: For little price do Elven-kings sell their daughters: for gems, and things made by Kraft.<hr></blockquote>
(If you don't know what Vegemite is, or get the pun, you need to come to Australia.)



</p>

[Evenspire]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Pile o' Bones
Posts: 11</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Puns away!


He's all gollum and doom

Sam as always

Santa's a Merry old elf

Help me Elrond-a, help, help me Elrond-a


</p>

[Evenspire]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Pile o' Bones
Posts: 12</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Pun intended


Lawrence Welch and his orc-hestra

Call the Orc-an Man

Gimli another beer

What's good for the goose is good for the Gaffer

And I'll get your little dog Frodo too!!!


</p>

[Evenspire]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Pile o' Bones
Posts: 13</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Puns line

Which was your favorite Denathor in Jurassic Park?

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the Faramir of all?


Travlin' through Bombadill-o Texas

Who Took my ring? Pippin!!!!

To save the Peragrin falcons.

&quot;We're having Pippin apple pie for lunch today.&quot; stormed Gandalf







</p>

[obloquy]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Animated Skeleton
Posts: 33</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: Puns line

&quot;Luthien what I'm theein'?&quot;

Thath what Beren might've thed if he had had thumone with him when he thtumbled upon Luthien thinging.

</p>Edited by: <A HREF=http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_profile&u=00000090>obloquy</A> at: 7/1/01 11:25:56 pm

[Evenspire]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Pile o' Bones
Posts: 15</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Pun

Simon and Glorfingel sing The Sound of Silence

Rocky and Glorfingel meet Boris Badinov in Spottsilvania

Maybe we can smeagle some firecrackers across the border.

I'm so Gil-galad to be back at Bag End!

</p>

[KM Tinuviel]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Animated Skeleton
Posts: 27</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: Pun

OK, I've been waiting for her to speak up, but maybe she doesn't post, so....my fave is the nick of one of my chattin' buddies: The X Phial....isn't that great? <img src=wink.gif ALT=";)">

"Long Beren lay, and his spirit wandered upon the dark borders of death, knowing ever an anguish that pursued him from dream to dream. Then suddenly, when her hope was almost spent, he woke again, and looked up, seeing leaves against the sky; and he heard beneath the leaves singing soft and slow beside him Luthien Tinuviel. And it was spring again."</p>

[Evenspire]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Pile o' Bones
Posts: 17</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Punssss


And I, gentlemen,...have 4 aces. Eowyn! Eowyn! (I win)

Said Santa at the beach, &quot;I Mithrandir&quot; (I miss rheindeer)

&quot;Pick up after yourself and don't be such a Shelob!&quot;

</p>

[Evenspire]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Pile o' Bones
Posts: 19</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Puuuuns

And I'll haaaave...the grilled cheese samwise with Frodo cornchips and pippin hot tomato soup.





</p>

[Gilthalion]

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Re: Puuuuns

Mordor Most Foul



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[Evenspire]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Pile o' Bones
Posts: 22</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Very punny

No thank you, I don't care for grima beans.

When I grow up, I'm going to Merry-a-doc (marry..)

</p>

[Evenspire]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Pile o' Bones
Posts: 23</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Punny

The first Psychoanalyst: Sigmund Frodo

Tiger Woods is one of the world's greatest gaffers.


I'm a-frodo it's quite serious.



We have sam, sam, eggs, bacon, sausage and sam.
Sam eggs, bacon, sam and sam. Sausage, sausage, sam, eggs and sam...

But I don't like sam! Couldn't I just have eggs and sausage?

Without sam!? Blehh!

Well, sausage, sausage, sam, eggs and sam doesn't have much sam

(music begins) sam sam sam sam, sam sammity sam..

</p>

[Evenspire]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Animated Skeleton
Posts: 26</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Pun fun in the sun

I need to wash up, I feel grima after the long trip

Eomer Simpson

I shire could go fer sum food!

I work at the pizza parlor where I Fro-do in the air.



</p>

[Evenspire]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Animated Skeleton
Posts: 27</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Pun

Have you met my ent Bertha? I hate it when she pinches my cheeks!



</p>

[Evenspire]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Animated Skeleton
Posts: 29</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Puns

And they caaaall the wiiiiind Moriah

As sung by Moriah Carey.

Rhun for your lives!

Oh for Grey Haven's sake!

</p>

[Halbarad]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Pile o' Bones
Posts: 20</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: Puns

There was no Eriador than the door in front of them...

I have a Thror foot...

Thrain in Spain falls mainly in...

Beren chips is my favourite meal...

:-)

Puns away!

A little people, but of great worth are the Shire-folk. Little do they know of our long labour for the safekeeping of their borders, and yet I grudge it not</p>Edited by: <A HREF=http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_profile&u=00000248>Halbarad</A> at: 7/12/01 10:07:16 pm

[Evenspire]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Haunting Spirit
Posts: 71</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Puns

Beren mind that I'm Luthien my mind.

Ent misbehavin', savin' my love for youuuu.

I got my gerbil a hobbitrail.

Gimli a smile!

My oak tree is dropping Aragorns.

He's got the wight stuff.

Ferny you should mention Bree.

</p>

[Mister Underhill]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Dread Horseman
Posts: 734</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: Puns

&quot;He's Got the Wight Stuff&quot;

Possible title for your memoirs, BW?

Or just &quot;The Wight Stuff&quot;. Tom Wolfe, we're ready for you to document our wild, seat-of-our pants, oh-so-intriguing lifestyles.

Classic. Well done, Evenspire!

</p>

[Evenspire]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Haunting Spirit
Posts: 72</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Punny

You go to the left, I'll take the wight.

You sit on the left, I'll sit on the wight.

I need an answer wight away.

You'll have your answer wight now.

Will you wight me every day?

Two wrongs don't make a wight.

Sorry.....
I think I did my best work on Minas Tirith (What s/he would never say.)

</p>

[Evenspire]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Haunting Spirit
Posts: 73</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Puns

What kind of cheese would you like with that? We have orcanzola and bree.



</p>

[Evenspire]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Haunting Spirit
Posts: 74</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Pun,

Book, &quot;What it Took to Hook a Took&quot;

How do you tell a male Dwarf, from a female Dwarf? I don't know, I'll axe one.

I like literature, but I'm shy. When I grow up, I wanna be a ghost rider, er, a ghost wighter.

One dark rider to another, &quot;No, no! We're looking for Baggins! Not baggage!&quot;






</p>

[Evenspire]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Haunting Spirit
Posts: 75</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Tolkien puns

From the Halls of Khazad-dum-a
To the shores of Ithilien
We will fight the one eye's battles
We're the fighting Uruk-hai

</p>

[Evenspire]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Haunting Spirit
Posts: 76</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Puns

I squished a big strider and flushed it down the toilet.

There's a &quot;daddy longshanks!&quot;

Your table is weady. Wight this way!

Enter the contest today, anduin a trip for two!

Jan Brady, &quot;That's all I EVER hear! Dead marshes, marshes, marshes!&quot;



</p>

[SteadfastSam]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Wight
Posts: 157</TD><TD><img src=http://66.37.237.17/images/characters/vanityfair-astin_sm.jpg WIDTH=60 HEIGHT=60></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: Puns

I Thingol go outside and Snaga bit of Sunshine. (that was bad)

Where have you been? &quot;I Fingolfin.&quot; (ouch)

&quot;Waiter! &quot;Morgoth of milk over here please! What do you mean you are out! Find a cow and Melkor! (oh, my)

Grishnahk and Bill went up the hill to fetch the Ring of Frodo,
Grishnahk fell down and broke his crown, and Bill came tumbling after.

Erebor! I'll go find someone more interesting to talk to!

I'm &quot;Galad&quot; Riel stopped by today, he owned my a train tolkien.

Here we go Elrond the mulberry bush....

I need to stop now! <img src=laugh.gif ALT=":lol">

"Good Morning!" said the dragon. "You seem surprised."
"Good Morning! said Farmer Giles. "I am that!"
Farmer Giles of Ham </p>

[Evenspire]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Haunting Spirit
Posts: 77</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Pun

Mork from um, um......orc

Frodo cat! Neener, Neener, Neener.

Did you see Michael Delving in the tool shed?

How do you know when a blonde has been at the computer? There's wight-out all over the screen.

(I'm blonde by the way, and I have no wight-out, I use an eraser.)

A pawade of wight-supwemacists, recwuiting mowe wights.

Fight to keep youw civil wights.

The American Civil Wights Owganization.

Wight On!

Waise youw wight hand and wepeat aftew me.

</p>

[Halbarad]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Pile o' Bones
Posts: 21</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
<img src="http://www.barrowdowns.com/images/posticons/sting.jpg" align=absmiddle> No more wight puns :)

Enough of the wight puns already! aaaarrrrghhh!

Loved he Elrond one.

Some more:
Smile! Why do you look so Gollum?
Smaug is a big problem in Bangkok
I love watching the Turin cars...
Was Old man Willow a Hurin? (huorn)


</p>

[Gilthalion]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Hobbitus Emeritus
Posts: 480</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
<img src="http://www.barrowdowns.com/images/posticons/sting.jpg" align=absmiddle> Alwight alwight alweady!

I arda smack you!

Mirromere on the wall:
...I can't see my reflection!

I left my hart in Mirkwood Forest.

Gondor to door. Be back later.

He's an hobbitual offender.



<center><font face=verdana size=1> http://www.barrowdowns.comBarrow-Downs</a>~http://www.geocities.com/robertwgardner2000Bare Bones</a>~http://pub41.ezboard.com/btarostineruhirTar Ost-in-Eruhir</a>~http://www.geocities.com/robertwgardner2000/gilthalion.htmlGrand Adventures</a>~http://www.barrowdowns.com/fanfichobbits.aspThe Hobbits</a>~http://www.tolkientrail.comTolkien Trail</a> </center></p>

[Evenspire]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Haunting Spirit
Posts: 88</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Puns

Real men don't eat quiche lorien

I ordered my underwear from a Smeagol catalog.

The orks go on the left, the knives on the right.

The dinner special today is ork and beans.

All ork and no play makes Sam a dull boy.

Broadway! Time Square! New Ork City!

Troll-house cookies just melt in your mouth!

...nine, ten, elven, twelve..here I come!

He took a bad fall and may have broken his Feanor.

Tuor better than one.

I hope he wins the Tuor de France!

Oooh! Looks like another gloin injury folks!






</p>

[Evenspire]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Haunting Spirit
Posts: 89</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Pun

Should we thank Frodo now? Orthanc him later?

While on manuvers, Sam came under mordor fire.

Gimli spent the weekend in the mountains gamgee jumping.

You know what I mithrandir? I miss having modern
appliances.

Rohan Sebastian Bach




</p>

[Eldarion son of Aragorn]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Shade of Carn Dûm
Posts: 376</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: Pun

Isen that Sauron? No it's off!

Shelobs the keeper!!

Shagrat my pants!

I never Shagrat!! I shag mouse!!

Have you Fingolfin or just been pitch and puttin'









"He turned to Eldarion, and gave into his hands the winged crown of Gondor and the sceptre of Arnor, and bade him farewell."</p>

[Evenspire]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Haunting Spirit
Posts: 92</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Pun

Richie Valenz sang &quot;La Bomba-dil&quot;

Legolas has become an Alaskan salmon troller.


Scientists work hard to save relatives of Gwaihir, the California Gondor and the Paragrin Falcon.

First Sauron was a bad winner, Denathor loser.




</p>

[Malagaerion]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Animated Skeleton
Posts: 32</TD><TD><img src=http://digitalfuzz.com/gene-o/bbspics/CompassCrest3.gif WIDTH=60 HEIGHT=60></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: Pun

Dial M ...for MORDOR

&quot;Hey boss, you wants I should go breaks his legolas?&quot;

<img src=smile.gif ALT=":)">

</p>

[Belin]

Hey, this is great!

If I may go back to the Shakespeare theme for a moment, it seems to me that Gollum proves that one may smial and smial and be a villain!

Incidentally, I think this new forum is a great idea. Thank you, B-W, or whosever idea it was. smilies/biggrin.gif

--Belin Ibaimendi

[Lindolirian]

Gimli to legolas: Hey Lego, my Eggo. C'mon now Gimli that waffle.

[HerenIstarion]

By Evenspire
I squished a big strider and flushed it down the toilet.

that was fascinating smilies/biggrin.gif

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

Lindolirian, that was funny! That reminds me of that reeeeally stupid, cheesy Easy Mac commerical. "MM, this is good. I think I'll have anothe bowl." "Make me one too please!" That commercial was SO retarded. It makes me think of my friend doing that stupid impersonation.
All of those puns were funny actually smilies/tongue.gif

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

Gimli to legolas: Hey Lego, my Eggo. C'mon now Gimli that waffle.

lol...


I have Narsil problems, I'm allergic to pollen.

Excuse me, can I have a bathroom Tolkien?

[ June 15, 2002: Message edited by: Gimli Son Of Gloin ]

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

Is Entomology the study of Ents?

[Feadolena Nolfare]

this one was actually said by me & my Tolkien-lovin friends after a day of snowboarding:
I'm Sore, oh man! (Saruman)

Do you like fish?
Oh yeah, i practically live on Tuna
...and to go with that...
The movie made me all Tirion

When you've Gondolin, you've Gondolin.

Aack! I think I'm Luthien a tooth!

Ew. There's something Sauron this meat.

What's that cool Star Wars spaceship? An X-Wing?
No, an Elwing.

smilies/rolleyes.gif that was really sad. never let me stay up till 3 am, ever again!

[Rosa_Baggins]

Puns

I can only think of one wright now....heheh get it?ANYWAY!

Why do you look so Smaug?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

By the way, what is Entomology?

[ June 22, 2002: Message edited by: Gimli Son Of Gloin ]

[The Fifth]

Ooh! I have a pun: Frodon't do that!

[Rosa_Baggins]

nice one fifth!!

[Uruloki]

How many people have used the "If you go down the pub then you might get Legolas" one? smilies/biggrin.gif
Sorry for being repetetive.

Now for a really dodgy/cheesy one,
"When I grow up my parents want me to Marry a doc................ter!
Get it.....did ya get it?..........Didn't think so...... smilies/biggrin.gif

[The Fifth]

I got it. That was pretty good!

[pippin_took0]

Arwen't we all getting a little carried away here?
Don't mind me, I'll just Bree going

P.S This is actually me, pippin_took0, not Nevtalathiel using my account. Just thought I'd let you know smilies/smile.gif

[The Fifth]

Before you go, you'll have to pay a FEA.

[Logan Evans]

Reading Tolkien is a Novel concept!

[Galadrie1]

When I grow up my parents want me to Marry a doc. that one was used before on this thread. so was the only one i could think of: "Here's a Tolkien of my love"

[Rose, the youngest]

Here is my first attempt:
That Rosie's stunning, but look at this Lady's Fingol!(flowers, yeah...)

[ June 28, 2002: Message edited by: Rose, the youngest ]

[The Fifth]

Ooh! Ooh! I have another one!

Which King is which?

[Eol]

These puns are great, but it is almost too much to Beren!

heh, don't make a hobbit of it
be careful it's hobbit forming...

I 'spose I could wolf down another knuckle sandwich
(in reference to the great wolf who ate Beren's Hand)

Sauron: do I hear someone ringing?
I have my eye on you!

Gandalf: Hi ho silver?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

"Here's a Tolkien of my love"

That's kinda like one of mine- Can I have a bathroom Tolkien please?

[The Fifth]

Skinny Gandalf: You cannot pass. I am the weilder of the flame of Anorexia.

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

"Don't mind me, I'll just Bree going." I like that one! smilies/biggrin.gif All of these are good actually. Let me see if I try some now. They won't be good though!!!!

I hadn't had a decent Melian a couple of weeks.
Get it...meal in-Melian.. I told you they wouldn't be good!

[Raefindel]

I'm not that creative, unfortunately, but I enjoyed reading your post immensely!

[Eol]

Sorry I seem to have lothed my keys...I would be GalADriel if you could help me find them...

[ July 12, 2002: Message edited by: Eol ]

[The Necromancer]

"Merry" Christmas!!! (groan)

Shire and Shire alike!!!

HA HA HA! Yes, I do know these were really, really bad!!!

[The Fifth]

For some reason, I can't stop laughing at these puns.

"Is it okay if I use you as a pippin cushion?"

"Sure, just frodon't (I know, I said that pun before) hurt me badly."

"Row, Row, Rohan your boat..."

Hmm.. that's all I can think of for now.

[ July 15, 2002: Message edited by: The Fifth ]

[The Fifth]

Okay, one last pun:

Lorien kids! Because we're worth it too!

[ElfEarz]

ok u guys are so good at this so dont make fun of me cuz i suck smilies/frown.gif so here is my horrible attempt....

oh no i left the food out last night and now theres ents all over it!

i want my ring back Bifur i get mad!

Bree is my favorite type of cheese (heh-heh..k that was dumb)

yes i'll have a cup of Dale please

didnt Elvish (Elvis) die Durin the 1980s?

respect your Eldars (that didnt suck too bad)

[ July 19, 2002: Message edited by: ElfEarz ]

[The Fifth]

Those were pretty good, ElfEarz. Keep it up! Also, I'm annoyed because there are Elvis at Helm's Deep.

[ElfEarz]

lol, thanks smilies/smile.gif. lets see if i can think of anymore....

Bifur you can pass you have to pay the troll

a kids TV-show "Rollie Pollie Oliphaunts"

a song "i found my thrill, on Ravenhill" (bahahahaha so stupid its funny)

I can't think of any more, im just not creative in the morning hehe smilies/smile.gif

[The Fifth]

I demand more puns!

[Rose, the youngest]

Asfaloth I know... (As for as)

Instead of skinning coneys, we Barahir. (bare a hare)

Last I heard, he's Dwalin in the Shire. (dwelling)

Baseball has how many Entings?(Ennings)

He's worth a Guthlaf. (good laugh)

Rogain lost it's touch? Try the Heru-brand! We'll Roheryn.

She has a Puddifoot. (pretty foot)


these are steadily getting worse, so i will have to stop now.

[The Fifth]

Could you Teleri (tell) me where we are going?

We will get in our Vanyar (van) so we can drive to store.

((I had gotten this idea from a conversation in the chat room about elves...))

[ElfEarz]

Lol u guys are funny. hmmm lets see if i can think of any....

I can't get my mutton undone (button)

hmmm wow that was alot

smilies/evil.gif smilies/eek.gif

[Niphredil Baggins]

This is a strange Region to me. (Region is some ME place, forgot where it is...)

[ElfEarz]

this board is getting crowded...anyone mind if i make a new one. cuz i really enjoy this smilies/biggrin.gif

[The Fifth]

The other day I was searching through my book shelves, when I came along these two books:

The Phantom Trollbooth

And....

The Adventures of Tom Bombadil and Huckleberry Fingolfin

I tried to read them, but they fell apart. So, I decided to get a ham Gamwich. My friend was there at the time. He was eating a turkey Samwich(I know, that pun was done before).

[Thenamir]

OK OK, I've waited to weigh in on this one until I had a good one, and now I've got it.

Q: Why was Huan sad?
A: Because he was Melian-collie!

(grins, ducks, and runs away at top speed)

[The Fifth]

Good one, Thenamir! Melian-collie... melancholy...


Galadrie1: Yes, indeed it was I who was the annoying Punster.

[ September 13, 2002: Message edited by: The Fifth ]

[Galadrie1]

Oooh, Thena, that was a good one! I also liked: Instead of skinning coneys, we Barahir. (bare a hare) heehee... Hey, Fifth, was it you in the chat room a while back who wouldn't stop saying puns, so everyone put you on their Ignore list? smilies/biggrin.gif

[Amarie]

You guys have posted some pretty good ones! I hope my contributions are enjoyed...

...If there were a Beren Doriath it'd be Cirdan to eat an Elf. To stop that bear, any Thingol do.

[Glorfinniel the Lost]

This goes to a part of Garbages' "Cherry Lips":
Goldberry go go
We're right behind you
Goldberry go go
Yeah, we're looking at you
Goldberry go go
Oh ,we're right behind you
Goldberry Goldberry
Yeah, we're right behind you
smilies/biggrin.gif

[bombur]

Coctailparty gossip in the middle-earth, reported by Arwen, evening star:

"...Galadriel has caught Saurons eye."

"Well that match does have nice ring to it..."

"...Gandalf, he's such a grey type"

"But Sarumans has got breeding..."

[Evenstar1]

I have enjoyed reading these! They were GREAT! I have a few groaners to add to the mix:

How does Galadriel keep her youthful looks? She uses Oil of Olwe!

The Songs of Elvish Prestly:
Helmsdeep Hotel
Love Me Timber
Don't Be Reuel
Viva Loss-arnach

(Sorry! I know those were pretty weak! Does anybody have any more?)

[Melkor the Morgoth]

how bout "Return to Sindar"

[Alatariel]

Goodness me, what are you all Tolkein about?
I ate an apple and now there's a Pippin my teeth!

[Alatariel]

ooh I've thought of another one!
"Please put your Bag Ends in the ash tray provided"

[The Fifth]

Well, I had an interesting trip this year.

First, I flew a plane towards Cape Horn of Gondor. Then I flew towards South Orc-ney Island. Then I flew all the way to Cape Eowyn, Australia, and then stayed there for a couple of weeks. Then I flew back to my barrow in California.

[Nimrothiel]

Hee hee, I think that all of my ideas have already been done, but here goes Luthien!

Wow! How did Mith get to there so fast? Mith-ran-dir. (Mith ran there)

Beren the Ring is such a pain.

Elf-magic huh? What a Boro-mir. (Bore of a mirror.)

[Elennar Starfire]

Silmarillion toast!(cinnamon)