Pippin's *touch and die* Diary

[Iaragarwen]

Hi, I been reading some of the Secret diaries of the LOTR characters, and I really enjoyed them. So, I thought it would be cool if we could compose Pippin's diary with everyone contributing a day. Just a note: keep it clean or don't bother posting it. Thanx! smilies/smile.gif

Just to start off:

DAY ONE

Merry won't shut up.
I mean, c'mon they were only a couple of mushrooms, right? On the way to Bree, kicked stone and ended up with foot in mouth. Cannot eat for six days. Merry is laughing.
I hate him.

[ April 01, 2002: Message edited by: Iaragarwen ]

[ April 01, 2002: Message edited by: Iaragarwen ]

[Aralaithiel]

DAY TWO
This Prancing Pony place is awesome. They have PINTS!!!!! Frodo sure is in sulky mood. Must get him new jewelry. And who's that guy that keeps staring at us in the corner? He's giving me the creeps! Now wait a minute, where'd Frodo go? He was just here, I swear! ARGH!

[Birdland]

What have I gotten myself into!!! Everywhere I look there are giants trying to kill me, or giving me funny looks like they'd LIKE to kill me. Me old dad always said that Men were dangerous, but he never told me they have NO sense of humor!

Frodo and Sam have turned into a total drags, too. They used to be such party animals, but now they're jumping at every loud noise and looking over their shoulders. I'd head back to Buckland right now, if I could read a map.

We'll, we're taking off again in the morning, but I'm not going anywhere without a few drinks in me. Gotta see if Barliman can slip a little something in my flask "for the road".

[ March 31, 2002: Message edited by: Birdland ]

[Aroaraniel]

DAY THREE:
Started out on the road with "Strider". These people don't eat. I want some afternoon tea, supper, dinner, etc., and I get hit in the head with an apple. Where's the justice in Middle-Earth? Merry still won't shut up and Frodo is still moody. This is going to be a real fun trip.

[Aroaraniel]

Can I do another one? This is kinda fun....

DAY FOUR:
We're still walking. And walking. And walking. And walking.

[Araen]

You guys are good. Me can't think of anything, yet. ::Muh ha ha::

[Niere-Teleliniel]

DAY 5

More walking. Got in trouble with Strider for tripping Merry, but I though it was rather funny. I swear, if something doesn't happen soon...... Maybe I can attract some Nazgul; at least THEY have cool horses....

[ March 31, 2002: Message edited by: Niere-Teleliniel ]

[ElanorGamgee]

DAY 6

We walk some more. My feet are sore but nobody cares. We only get three meals a day; what is Strider trying to do, starve me? Merry pushed me into a stream today and everybody laughed. But when I put a spider in Merry's sleeping bag Strider made me clean all the dishes. I hate being the youngest. I think I'll do something really stupid just to show them. Maybe I'll send up a few flares tonight. That's sure to attract something good and scary for Strider to deal with.

[Arwen Imladris]

Day 7
Got to weathertop, Frodo got ash on my Tomatoes too! It serves him right to be stabbed with a knife just for that. Haven't met up with Gandalf yet, but maybe that is a good thing. Frodo very moody

[Birdland]

Well, Aragorn says Frodo's being turned into a Wraith, and is not just moody, so the whoopie cushion in the sleeping bag joke was NOT going to cheer him up.

Well ex-cuuuusssee meeee, Dr. Strider!

Now Merry's getting into the whole "ooooh, were on a dangerous mission" shctick, too. Like I don't know who slipped Sam the dribble glass at supper last night.

Wish I was back in Buckland!

[Aroaraniel]

DAY EIGHT:
Frodo in mortal danger with that injury. Oooh, I went a couple HOURS without eating and I was in mortal danger. But of course, who cares about the hobbit in the back! Yeah, I'm probably just bait for good old Sauron...the life I live...

[Elenya]

We're at Rivendell now. They have some very strange buildings here. Anyways, Frodo got invited to some secret council or something, so I figure "I have to follow him around, so why can't I find out what's going on?"
Merry and me listened in on it: there was a lot of arguing over something, and one of the dwarfs broke his axe trying to split a pillar in half. I swear, those dwarfs don't have half a brain in their heads. Merry told me I was stupid, but he's not the one who got hit in the head with an apple, now is he?

[Aroaraniel]

DAY NINE:
(I'm using Arwen, not the other guy...cuz i forget his name and everything)
Arwen came and took Frodo. Black Riders chasing him. You know, for sake of this boring quest, I hope they get him. He was getting really annoying...I had a hard time keeping a straight face when I heard he might die. Well good! No more Mordor chasing! But no! They just don't seem to get that!!

[Niere-Teleliniel]

HOLD IT! WE WERE IN RIVENDELL!! DONT MESS WITH MY HEAD! smilies/biggrin.gif

Merry had to open his big trap, and we're offagain. Now on top of our already pathetic company, we have do deal with a snotty daddy's-boy, a pretty-boy elf, and a dwarf with an attitude! On the plus side, we've got Gandalf again( the perfect subject for my stash of garlic gum) And Boromir's horn suuuuure looks tempting. I may have to play a little wake-up call tomorrow morning....

[ March 31, 2002: Message edited by: Niere-Teleliniel ]

[Aroaraniel]

DAY TWELVE:
We're heading out of Rivendell. Wonderful stay, but could it last? No, of course not!! Off to the wilderlands to be killed!! Yay!!! Merry won't shut up (again) and Frodo is moodier then ever. Now I have even more people around me. An elf, two men, a wizard, and a dwarf! Not to mention four hobbits!! I think they should make a hiking song...it would go a little something like this..
Oh off to Mordor we go
Off to Mordor we go
Hi ho cheerio!
Off to mordor to be killed we go!

I wish I was in Buckland.

[Aroaraniel]

DAY THIRTEEN:
More and more crap from Gandalf. He really needs to lighten up. But of course I don't mean that literally, but they STILL think I'm the one who lit up his cape---well I DID say he needed to lighten up, didn't I?

[Aroaraniel]

Oh poopy...I gotta go!! BUt I had fun doing this!! Hahah, keep going!! You guys are hilarious!!!

[ElanorGamgee]

DAY FOURTEEN:

I got too close to the campfire and singed my foot hair. Very unattractive. Good thing there's not a girl within about a hundred miles, give or take a thousand. We're heading toward the Misty Mountains. That means that not only will I starve, but I'll freeze too. Lembas are getting really old. Sam's made them fried, broiled, baked, steamed, and stewed, and they still taste the same. The snobby elf keeps trying to use me as a foot stool. He got mud and leaves all over my hair and in my ears. Again, very unattractive. Oh, well, at least I comb my hair, unlike a certain ranger I know. Merry's being a bore. He wouldn't even dress up like monsters with me so we could try to scare Frodo (still moody, by the way). Well, I'll try to get some sleep now. Of course, Gandalf will probably get some brilliant idea to start traveling again in the middle of the night.

[Lush]

DAY FIFTEEN:

A big bruhaha over a bunch of stupid birds. Legolas was freaking out because one smart little birdie pooped in his pretty hair. Ha! Knew the spies of Saruman were good for something!
Gandalf's latest brilliant idea is to climb Caradrahaha...Whatever that stupid mountain is called. I asked him, "do I look like a scherpa to you?" but he threatened to turn me into something "unnatural." Now am concentrating very hard on not freezing to death.
Boromir has become quite annoying-keeps staring at Frodo, drooling excessively, and mumbling something about "One Ring to rule them all..." I told him he should seek professional help, or at the very least do us all a favor and throw himself off the mountain.
...He can take Legolas with him while he's at it! The dratted Elf is nancing about on top of the snow, while we struggle through it like drowning kittens. He, apparently, weighs nothing, stupid anorexic git!
Blast this cold!
For future reference: never take directions from a Wizard.

[Kalimac]

DAY SIXTEEN:

Great, just great. The Pass of Carad- whatever it's called - didn't work out. There was a blizzard which knocked down half the mountain and the rocks almost squashed us as flat as pancakes (mmm...pancakes...how long since I've had those? Eru, but I miss the Great Smials). Now, honestly, I could have told you we were running a risk by going up there, but would anyone listen to me if I said "Excuse me, but that's an awfully high a snowy mountain, and kinda *exposed* don't you think?" No, it'd just be "Fool of Took, go help Sam clean up after Bill so nobody can track us through his, um, leavings." Grr. Even Merry gets more respect.

So now we're going through the Mines of Moria, which is going to be even more fun than Weathertop, judging by the way Gandalf and Aragorn are turning green. Assuming we ever get *in* of course. Old Gandalf has been hammering on the door and trying passwords for about three hours now; can't remember the password, or so he claims. You'd think a wizard would know, wouldn't you? I think he's bluffing; really wants to get us back to Carad-whatever. Fat chance.

Maybe he'll get it soon. I'm really, really hungry. Even Bill is starting to look kind of appetizing - hey! Where's Sam sending him off to? Hey, HEY!

[Birdland]

Well, after four hours Mr. Wizard finally realized you had to say "Friend", which opened the door and called up some hobbit-eating freak out of the water. Of course, they tried to pin it on my throwing rocks in the pond, but I wasn't the one screaming "Mellon" like a deaf tourist in Lorien.

For once I wish hobbits had invented shoes! You don't even want to know what I've stepped in in this place. Gimli's blubbering, and Frodo's spending all his time hanging out with the giants. Try getting an pineal gland, Ring-Boy! Maybe then they'll take you seriously.

I'm so bored! Nothing to do but pitch rocks down a well.

[ElanorGamgee]

DAY EIGHTEEN:

Nobody likes me, everyone hates me, I think I'll go eat Neekerbreekers. All I did was drop one lousy stone down a well and every Orc in Middle-earth decided to come and attack us. What did they expect? I'm a young hobbit showing a healthy sense of curiosity. How was I supposed to know that they would hear one little stone with all the huffing and mumbling Gandalf was doing? Then this ugly guy stabbed Frodo with a spear and he didn't even die. Come to find out he has some super special armor that nobody else has. Downright selfish of him, if you ask me, which you won't, since I'm a "Fool of a Took," as the newly-departed Gandalf called me. Yep, he's gone. Fell down an abyss. He'll probably be back to haunt me. But it was a lot of fun to hear the stupid elf scream "Ai! Ai!" like a little girl when the Balrog crashed through the wall. Now Strider's in charge again. I guess it's kitchen patroll duty for the rest of the journey for me. I will now go back to feeling sorry for myself because of course, this is all my fault.

[Tigerlily Took]

"YOU FOOL OF A TOOK! THROW YOURSELF IN NEXT TIME!" was what I got when Gandalf found my dropping rocks into that well I was talking about. Well it's alot more fun than listening to him read about all these dwarves being locked inside Moria. Merry was really into it. I hate him.

HEY! Gandalf and Aragorn think there're orcs in here! Time to go hide someplace safe and watch the action!

[Tigerlily Took]

Sorry Elanor! Must've posted same time as you.

[Tigerlily Took]

Now we're paddling down a really stupid river in really stupid canoes and everything is really stupid and Strider is making me take first watch tonight.

[Aroaraniel]

Everyone is crying. What's the big deal? That big fat wizard is the one that almost froze us to death and almost got us attacked by those Wargs because he couldn't get it through his thick head that you had to say "friend" which probably wasn't a good idea anyway, because we nearly were killed by orcs and a really big, bad smelling mountain troll. Not to mention a Balrog, who really needs a breath mint. But before him, I think Gimli needs one first. I keep my distance. But of course blame all this on the Took. I'm a Fool of a Took, after all. Now we're heading to this wooded area, the "Golden Wood". Whatever.

[Aroaraniel]

Galadriel isn't so great. She has something hanging out of her nose, but, I shouldn't say anything, or I'll just be a bigger fool of a Took for mentioning anything to disgrace her "wondrous beauty". Celeborn looks constipated, and I have to sleep in a tree. And Frodo doesn't want to leave. He's mood AND has a bad sense of judgement. SAURON COME KILL US NOW!

[Aroaraniel]

Now we're floating down a river, and there are two big statues that have their hands out. Aragorn and Boromir are fascinated, but then, they are a little on the pyscho side, so it's really not that great. Did they ever stop and think they have their hands out for a reason? You know, like, forbidding us to go any further? Of course not. I'm just the stupid hobbit who would like to see the Shire again. But that's pushing it, I guess.

[Aroaraniel]

Today was the best day of my life. Orcs come into camp, and of course, brave me and Merry have to go saving Frodo and Sam by waving our hands and making the Orcs take US captive instead. So now I am lying in the dark by a smelly Orc writing this. Boromir died, but it was for the best, I think. He attacked Frodo. I saw that coming, but nobody ever listens to me. And NOW look at us. Uh-oh, Smelly here just cut the cheese....MUST...GET...AIR....

[Aroaraniel]

Traveling with Orcs is the worst possible thing you can imagine. I took my brooch and left it in the grass for Aragorn and the elf and dwarf to find. How much do you want to bet that they will never find us and I will die of suffacation? The smell will kill any weak hearted. Merry is smiling. He needs to see a shrink.
Some Orcs killed each other. We camped there for the night. The smell was worse, and Smelly here is snoring. It's worse then thunder.

[Starbreeze]

I miss my brooch, but Merry keeps on going on and on about Gandalf and Boromir - for goodness sake, haven't we got better things to moan about - like the fact that I haven't eaten second breakfast for about 100 days!

Merry should get his priorities sorted out!

[ April 01, 2002: Message edited by: Starbreeze ]

[ April 01, 2002: Message edited by: Starbreeze ]

[Gayahithwen]

that drink of theirs is not good at all. Merry won't shut up, and I am still starving! Miss my brooch.

I wish I was back in Buckland. But now we are probably just going to be killed, Merry and me. One of the orcs is searching through our stuff, but I don't know in search for what. Merry is coming up with the most impossible escape-plans all the time, but since we don't have wings, and since the ropes won't loosen up straigh away, I suppose we will never get out of here. I am turning out to be a pessimist, but that is just because I miss the Shire and especially Buckland.. and second breakfast.. pancakes..

[ElanorGamgee]

I think I'll write out my will and testiment soon. Half the orcs here want to kill us now, and the other half want to take us back to Saru-whats-his-name so he can kill us slowly. Merry is starting to giggle and talk to himself. I think the poor guy's cracking up. Ah, what I wouldn't do for elevenses right now...

[Aroaraniel]

I haven't written in my diary for two days now---the reason is pretty stupid. These big shot "Riders of Rohan" came prancing in on their big ponies and killed every one of the Orcs. We escaped (barely--these guys must be blind--they take hobbits for Orcs--I'm hurt) and now are traveling in this wierd forest. Merry is humming. I ask him about it and what does he say? Because we escaped the Orcs! Well this is soo much better! Wandering aimlessly in the woods--wasn't that what we were doing when we ran into Frodo in the first place? And NOW look at us. Hope help comes soon. Someone with some sense that is.
Ahh, what I wouldn't do for some good old hobbit tea right now.
Merry is driving me mad and I wish I were in Buckland.

[ElanorGamgee]

We were walking in the woods today and Merry said he saw eyes in the trees, so I thought he had finally lost it. Turns out the trees do have eyes and they aren't trees; they're Ents. I've met so many wierd tree-things in the past few months that I expect to be traumatized for life. The good thing is that these Ents hate Saruman as much as we do. The bad thing is that I can't let them see me writing in my diary because paper's made of tree parts. Terribly touchy. Treebeard, their leader, asked me how I'd like it if he wrote on sheets made of hobbit gut. I told him I wouldn't mind as long as it was 100% recyclable. Well, if you ask a stupid (not to metion hypothetical) question, you should expect a stupid answer. I'm probably risking my head by writing now. The food here is strange. I feel like I'm being stretched out. Must be some stupid diet formula. How I hate this journey!

[ April 01, 2002: Message edited by: ElanorGamgee ]

[LadyMerry]

All Treebeard feeds Merry and me is entdraught! Hobbits have to eat too, you know! He makes a big deal about how he's never heard of hobbits and he's so slow! Us hobbits like to keep things going and he calls it "hasty". I most certainly am NOT impatient! Its driving me crazy how ents are so slow! And they make me feel even shorter than I felt when I was around the fellowship. Right now Treebeard is outside standing under a waterfall with his arms up....I think he might be a little crazy... Fortunately, he's outside so I got the chance to write in my diary without being frowned upon.

Merry saw me writing and he keeps on trying to see my diary! Well he won't, not if I can help it! Diaries are personal things and I can't have Merry reading all my thoughts...

I miss the Shire. I miss real food and the lembas is really starting to get to me, although I must say that its better than this liquid that the ents drink. Treebeard's coming back so I better stop writing.

[Fingo]

These Ents are really getting annoying. All this hooming and non hastiness is just not for me. While the Ents are meeting and hooming away, me and Merry are so bored that we have staring contests that last for hours on end.(I've won most of the time.) We started playing hide and go seek a couple hours ago, just for a change of pace (Merry's eye balls were drying out.) I was "it" and let Merry go hide. I looked for him for about five minutes, then took a nap. I started writing in here about 20 minutes ago and he still hasn't come back yet. What a moron! smilies/evil.gif

[Iaragarwen]

LOL! Wow you guys, these are great! I'll bet we'll finish the trilogy by the time this forum stops smilies/wink.gif I didn't expect sooo many responses in one day. smilies/smile.gif

[Gayahithwen]

Merry came back just after finished writing that last part. I merely had enough time to hide the diary. Oh well. I really miss second breakfast. Treebeard doesn't seem to be able to stop talking! Every time we ask him something, like who Saruman is, he gives us an answer that takes at lesat half an hour, while we could have made the same answer in ten minutes, or less!
Anyway, Treebeard seems to start to decide now, and he wants to attack Isengard! woo-hoo! That will make sure those stupid orcs'll have what they deserve!

Wish I was back in Buckland!

[pippin_took0]

Treebeard gave us to this other Ent, so he could look after us instead. He's not quite as boring as Treebeard, but there's nothing to do except listen to the Ents standing in a clearing going 'Hooomm, ha-ho, hroom,' etc. Merry still hasn't come back. It's probably for the best.
I want my second breakfast!

[Nazgûl Queen]

<center><font color="red">In Orthanc now.... not so bad.
Sure it stinks... and its all wet... and I nearly got killed by that Saruman guy... and the ents got stones all over my diary when they foolishly tore up the walls that could have protected us from any orcs (of course, noone listens to me!)... but look on the bright side.
FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We have food! And pipe weed! And beer! And a place to sleep! Am starting to like Merry now - he found me a pipe.
Must go back inside and sleep for a while... I haven't had a rest in a proper bed for WEEKS!

[Aroaraniel]

This journey keeps getting wierder and wierder! Gandalf came today! All dressed in white, thinking he's all that. Oh please, that Balrog didn't look THAT scary. Well, I acted happy...you know, don't want to look disappointed. The pipe-weed here is really good! Saruman sure has good taste! Too bad he's a bad guy. Him and me could really get along. Expecting Aragorn and the rest of the Fellowship tomorrow---NOW they come to get us.

[ElanorGamgee]

Ha, big wizard fight today! Saruman and Gandalf were arguing over whose clothes were the best (rainbow or white), and Saruman lost, so his slimey little sidekick threw an oversized marble at Gandalf's head (missed; too bad)! It almost hit me. So then I go to fetch it like some kind of dog and Gandalf snatches it away from me. That's gratitude for you. I'm going to borrow it tonight and see what the fuss is about. If it's worth anything I expect at least half of the profit!

[Aroaraniel]

Fool of a Took once more. So I looked in it. Big deal. Well, it was sorta a big deal. Hehehe, did I mention I saw our ole buddy Sauron in it? Well, now Gandalf is in some kind of big rush. Yay, but I get to ride on his big horse. My writing is all scribbly because this damn horse won't stop running (maybe that's the point...?).

[Aroaraniel]

More riding. More blots on the pages.

[Alchrivëwen]

((may I try))

[Birdland]

Alchrivëwen - Don't ask, just jump right in!

Only rule: no skipping the scenes just so you can get to "the good parts". (Birdie glares!)

P.S. - Keep it clean. These ain't the "very secret" diaries!

[ April 02, 2002: Message edited by: Birdland ]

[Aroaraniel]

Did I skip any scenes?? I was going by the movie, sorry if we were going by the books back there when we WERE in the FOTR part. Hehehe, I hope we weren't using Tom Bombadil. I'm sorry if we were. I think I skipped that part. Forgive me?

[Aroaraniel]

We finally arrive at Gondor. Big city of white. Well, from a distance it looks white. Its actually quite dirty--not that I should be talking...I haven't taken a bath in weeks. Not that I'm going to get the chance to get one anytime soon. The people here smell. Not as bad as Orcs, but they smell. So do I. Wish I were in Buckland (taking a bath and smoking pipe-weed).

[Alchrivëwen]

I can't believe it, first I am a servant, then a prince! Here is what happened: First I talked to the old guy, Denthor I think his name is, he thought I was afraid of him so tto show him I wasn't I became one of his guards 'Yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir' HA! but then, someone saw me for the handsome one I am and started calling me something, I don't know what it means but I hope it's good.

[Niphredil Baggins]

Wood-tasting water for lunch. Slowbeam the Ent in love with a rowan tree. Thought up a good joke: make Merry sit on my elven brooch, then remembered I have the brooch no more. It's a cruel world. Hey, the ents are hoom-hooming closer. The sound angry. Hope not at me...

[Niphredil Baggins]

sorry. was a page behind. ignore me.

[ElanorGamgee]

Ha, it does mean something good! I, "Fool of a Took" though I may be, am officially "Prince of the Halflings!" Take that and smoke it, Gandalf! Other than that, I am starting to regret volunteering for this job. Hardly getting any food, waking at dawn, and babysitting guards' kids (who insult me and threaten to beat me up) is no piece of cake. But I look good in uniform. Too bad none of the girls will ever see me in it, since I'll probably die as soon as those Mordor freaks attack us. They almost killed Denethor's son, Faramir. That's really encouraging. And I'll never see Merry again either. I'm starting to miss him, even though he is going a little crazy. Probably comes from getting nothing to eat. If that's the case, it's a wonder we're not all mad by now.

[ April 03, 2002: Message edited by: ElanorGamgee ]

[Dolenthangiel]

i think someone should do a diary for Frodo aswell, cos this one is really funny and great and all, but it only shows one side of the story. It must be hard for poor Frodo aswell y'know, he has to carry the burden and worry every day that you are leading your friends to danger and more than likley- death, when you could just go it alone...but then how could you find the way, and if you fail...theyll all die..and it will be all your fault...poor lil guy!!! smilies/frown.gif smilies/rolleyes.gif

[Aroaraniel]

Mordor freaks are here........dammit my pages are.......getting burnt by.......stupid balls of fire hurled....by those disgusting..........black smelly things..............missing Merry for some reason.............Denethor gonna kill.............himself...........fire........sin ging my foothair again.......lucky no girls............

[ElanorGamgee]

Ok, I knew Denethor was a bit out there, but WHOA! First he tried burning his son alive, and guess who saved Faramir from being toasted like a marshmallow? Yours truly. They don't call me "Prince of the Halflings" for nothing! Then he took his own over-sized marble thing and burned himself to death while holding it. I'm telling you, the things are nothing but trouble. I don't know what those crazy men see in them (no pun intended). My poor feet are all singed up again. I'll have bald feet, and I haven't even come of age yet. Well, speaking of marshmallows, I'm hungry again, so I guess I'll go before I start eating this diary...

[ April 03, 2002: Message edited by: ElanorGamgee ]

[LadyMerry]

Denethor was crazy! Who would try to burn their son when he had a chance of living? I feel kind of bad that he died and all, but he was a nut and I won't miss working for him! Maybe its better that he died....he was lazy and just sat there and was like all "Woe is me! Boromir is dead!" It got quite annoying and I guess I'm glad he's dead. I haven't smoked in a while so I'm gonna go try and find some pipeweed. Fortunately, I still have my pipe.

[Aroaraniel]

Merry is here! Merry is here, oh good God Merry is here! I never thought I'd say that, but, hey, you learn something new every day! Well they came in blowing trumpets acting all that. Then Merry had to go ruin it all by destroying some big Black Rider---oh good for him! Isn't he so great! Well, not really! He's all dead looking in the Houses of Healing...what a show-off...going all "hero" on me. No more "Prince of Halflings" for me! The war starts soon...hair slowly growing back and well--I miss Buckland.

[ElanorGamgee]

I spent the day reading Merry bedtime stories. I wanted to tell him gory war stories about Denethor and company, but Gandalf didn't think that would be such a good idea. What does he know? Oh, well, Merry has been so out of it that he probably wouldn't understand anyway. He's always either calling for his mommy or for another cold drink from Barliman...I think the poor boy finally lost it. At least he gets three square meals a day, though he throws most of it up. Waste of good food. Speaking of food, I think I'll help myself to elevenses before I go to war to be killed.

[Lush]

Aragorn is, ONCE AGAIN, acting like he graduated from Harvard with a PhD in medicine. Ha! I think he actually took this whole "Heir to the throne of Men" gig after he flunked out of med-school. Legolas is here, complaining loudly about the state of his hair, and babbling about going to the beach. I can't believe this, as Sauron is about to smite us, this git is freaking out about getting an early start on working on his tan!
Gandalf is glowing so much, it's beginning to hurt my eyes. I should probably mention to him that white makes him look fat. Merry has no idea how lucky he is to be unconsious for all this.

[Kalimac]

Hooray, Merry and Eowyn and Faramir have all woken up - of course it's ALL due to Mr. Witch-Doctor sprinkling crushed athelas on them, nothing to do with actually getting some rest and food - and now the rest of us poor sods are off to be killed in Mordor. Merry has really lost it, doing his whole "woe is me" routine because he can't come along. And they call me Fool of a Took! Fool of a Brandybuck, more like it; they're giving him the choice to stay in bed and relax and he wants to throw it away! Not that I get a choice or anything. Wanted to say "Merry, for silver penny I'll trade places with you, OK?" but Gandalf and Aragorn were right there and I didn't want to get another smack in the head with that wizard staff. I think Merry's coming round though, at least the first thing he asked when he woke up was where he could get a smoke. Typical Merry. Well, he's not getting any of MY Longbottom Leaf, I can tell you that.

On the other hand, at least we'll be going somewhere. What with Merry and Eowyn and Faramir all mooning around wishing they could come and die heroically with us, and that Ioreth yammering on about how the athelas was really her idea, Mordor isn't looking so bad. Maybe I can "get lost" on the way there, or something...

[Niphredil Baggins]

Marching, marching, marching! All day long, reduced rations, no one minding that my poor feet have to take twice as many steps as these tall men's. The orcs at least carried us half the way... We had a break and I was smoking and a lot of them gondorians gathered around me and wondered at the fire-breathing hobbit. Staring at me like I was a talking dog, or something. I told them I would turn them into frogs if they wouldn't leave me alone, and who comes then but Gandalf to give me scolding to last a month.

[ElanorGamgee]

More marching today. I wanted to sit down and bawl, or eat at least, but I can't let my reputation as "Prince of the Halflings" get tarnished. Right now I'd much rather be "Prince of the Pancakes." There's something really putrid in the air. We must be getting near the orcs. I think I smell "Smelly" from my last run in with them. I told elf-boy that orcs are his distant relatives, but he just got really angry and told Gandalf on me. Little brat. Oh, no, now all the men are gathered around to watch the fire-breathing hobbit write (I'll bet none of them can).

[ April 05, 2002: Message edited by: ElanorGamgee ]

[Fingo]

More marching.... Feet hurt.... Cold.... What else is new?

[Thulorongil]

All I hear is "Hroom, hoom hum HROOM!"
cant take any more!!!

[Niere-Teleliniel]

Held a spitting comtest after breakfast. Pretty-boy says he won despite that fact that NO ONE saw him. He says it's not proper for an elven-prince to spit in public, I say I beat this whole wussy army (and mr hoity-toity aragorn) by a good two feet. Wish I had traded places with Merry....

[Thulorongil]

No matter how far away i get from those annoying ents.......

[Niere-Teleliniel]

hold it peeps! we left the ents a looong time ago!

[Thulorongil]

u know what, just ignore what im saying now- i'll catch up
(hopefully)

[Thulorongil]

Here is the AMAZING opinion of Pippin that I'm sure everyone cares about:

Saving the world is boring, tiring, annoying, and involves lots of stupid old guys

[Thulorongil]

I know that i've been doing a lot of writing in here not from Pippin, but i must point out: no one has posted since me?
I just came to see how everyone ended it.
I think that everyone is too sad to get to the end of the 1st half of ROTK. WELL HE DOESNT DIE!!!! so i will continue.

[Thulorongil]

You know what? Why did I do that. He was just a guy who showed me around a little. It's not like it was worth my life!

Oh well. I think that the way Frodo has written down what happened out on that battlefield is going to scare all of my adoring fans! They're gonna think....
im shuddering just thinking about that!

So now we are back. In the city. Seeing Frodo. He destroyed the ring. Saurons gone. AND ALL I DO IS WALK AROUND IN THIS STUPID UNIFORM! oh well. gotta go talk to people about what it is like to stand up. and walk. and walk. and walk. and not get second breakfast. and walk. and the things that went on in a battle that took place while i was underneath a troll's butt.

(and if sauron had one thing to improve on, I'd say it would be teaching his trolls proper hygiene!-you notice many of their flaws in cleanliness when they are on top of you)

[Ithaeliel]

Mr. I'm-so-cool-because-I'm-king and Arwen got married today. Big wedding. Lots of really good cake. Am proud of myself because I won one-man eating contest. No one else seemed proud. Oh well.

Heading home. Stupid pony won't stop so I can write. I think he hates me. Just ran into some shiriffs. Threatened them with sword. Now they jog along beside us and lead us to Bag End, where there is lots of food. Got to go. Stupid pony.

[Eruwen]

Ya know, I started a diary of Merry. But after a couple days, it just kinda dissapeared. Like it was never done at all. There was no trace. But anyway, I'll just go on on this one.

Bad news. Can't get any food from Bag-End. It's somehow been "taken over". Frodo is really mad. But in a strange way, he's really sad too. I don't get it. We're starting a battle now. Frodo and Sam are rounding up a lot of Hobbiton folk. I'm off to the Smials to get some of the Tooks. Using the same pony, though. Stupid animal.

[Elessar,elfstone]

I am trying to write this without being noticed right now. We are sitting on Treebeards shoulders((Have you ever sat on a tree for so long?It is soooooo uncomfortable)).Merry came back eventually, about 5 minutes before we set off((shame)).The Ents are all singing this really wierd chant thing.I guess its about attacking Isen-thingi,but it's so boring I'm not paying attention.I nearly fell asleep earlier*yawn*.Oh no,Merry's finally cracked.He's joining in with the Ent's stupid chant now, as well as having a illy smile on his face a giggling insanely.Well,Treebeards looking at me kinda funny,I think he's seen me writing,so I'd better stop writing now.

[Elessar,elfstone]

((soz-my compuetr wouldn't refresh and I couldnt see who'd written smilies/tongue.gif))

[Thulorongil]

don't worry- I did the same thing

I think that Ents have mind control powers so they can make us talk about them more than we should be.

*runs outside to kick a tree*

[The Green Ringwraith]

I thought I'd never get those relatives out to save the rest of the Shire! Good God, not a moments peace. First its mum saying "Oh, my how you've grown! My little Pip's all grown up!" and my sister's pouting "How coe YOUR prince? Why aren't we princesses?" and then I (of course) had to tell the WHOLE story. By then we saw torches in the distance, and I hurried them all out. Don't want foot hair singed again...

[Aroaraniel]

I'm back! And I'm lost...we were talking about Ent's, and then the Shire...and...

AHH! Someone tell me what is going on?!

[Iaragarwen]

Wow! I had no idea how long this Diary would go. Actually, I have to confess I have no clue whats going on. I just got to about two pages into ROTK. I'm so baaaad smilies/rolleyes.gif

[Aroaraniel]

Heh heh...well if I don't know where we are I can't write! Oh and in case anyone may be interested, I started Gandalf's diary. It's under the topic name "Flying with Fools"

[Aroaraniel]

Sorry! Testing my sig...