What (thankfully) didn't happen in LOTR

[Halbereth Diagona]

If you can make any sense whatsoever of the title, this is a topic about what didn't happen in LOTR, but if it had happened, it really would have been funny.
Ok, I'll start.
1. Anyone starts singing.

[Halbereth Diagona]

I mean come on, this is an action film , not a damn musical...

[Estelyn Telcontar]

What do you mean? There's lots of singing!

[Halbereth Diagona]

......Ok, forget I said that.
Then.....how about....
Moria falls down about the fellowships ears....well, i would find it funny....

[suicidal elf chick]

I thought that was funny. Mmmm, what about if in the middle of the movie, Legolas or someone else who's not supposed to be funny breaks out in song and starts singing "I've Got a Lovely Buch of Coconuts", "Here to Stay", and/or a song from the disney movie "Hercules"?

[gollum*elf*pup]

it would be funny if you know in moria, when they have to jump across the stairs (in the movie) they would all not make it across and the movie would end there. smilies/evil.gif or if when frodo and sam get to mordor, they find that sauron is throwing them a surprise party. and then they all start singing. singing is funny, it just depends on what song. i dont know any funny songs. smilies/confused.gif

[Anna Licumo]

How about Aragorn singing "I just can't wait to be King" from the Lion King movie? Eeire, no? smilies/smile.gif

[Lady_Báin]

yes incredibly.. well what about Gollum breaking into "I'm too sexy for my close" heeheehee smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif

[Aragost]

The fellowship is crossing the misty mountains and Boromir starts singing in the big rock candy mountains.

[suicidal elf chick]

Hehehe... What about them sitting down and eating 15 boxes of Lucky Charms, standing up. and performing the musical Cats?

[Nevfeniel]

Hehe, just before Frodo and Gollum have their fight, Gollum pulls off a mask, and the whole thing is revealed as one of those hidden camera shows, and everyone (Boromir, Denethor, Saruman) comes out to have a good laugh while Frodo is standing there dumbfounded.

[suicidal elf chick]

LOL, I can totally see that happening. What if instead of biting off Frodo's finger, Gollum froze Frodo with ice breath (one of the PPGs) and carefully slipped it off?

[Halbereth Diagona]

You weird li' ppl.....
Gandalf calls Saruman evil and Saruman says
"I never wanted to be evil. We are all children of the universe, can't we all just get along?" (he and Gandalf embrace, and a load of flowers fall down and they dance....)
Instead of pulling out sting, Frodo pulls out an air rifle.....ha ha ha....

[Aldagrim Proudfoot]

Pippin pulls out a semi-automatic and goes Pompeii on the orcs.

[Bramblerose Gamgee-Took]

Aragorn doing some Buffy-style karate on the Orcs and then finishes with some smart-*** response smilies/biggrin.gif

[Beatrice]

Ooh, ooh! What if when Tom Bombadil tells the hobbits to strip down and run around naked, instead Frodo says "Eeeew! No, you pervert!" and then they all beat up Tom Bombadil and run away in fear.... that would be funny!

And what if when Gandalf kicks Saruman off the Council of Wise in Isengard, Saruman says "You can't kick me out! I quit!" and then he says "No, you kicked me out, so now I can send scary anonymous messages to the Council of the Wise! Oops, you weren't supposed to hear that!"

[ August 04, 2002: Message edited by: Beatrice ]

[Dimaldaeon]

Gandalf and Saruman line dancing.
The Hobbits singing Food Glorious Food.
Beregond hears Pippin speaking with a Scottish accent and hits him saying "You British prick, my old man was Irish"

[gollum*elf*pup]

i just thought of this when i was watching the movie today...when pippin and merry are bing carried away at the end, and boromir is dying, merry and pip shout "WE LOVE YOU BOROMIR!!" and smile cheesily at him.

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

At Weathertop, during the attack of the Nazgul, one of the Black Riders advances on Aragorn, twirling his sword in a dazzling series of circles and arcs. Aragorn looks unimpressed, pulls out a revolver and kills him with a single shot, then says: "Typical servant of Sauron: bringing a sword to a gun fight".

[Davin]

LMAO.

At Weathertop, during the attack of the Nazgul, one of the Black Riders advances on Aragorn, twirling his sword in a dazzling series of circles and arcs. Aragorn looks unimpressed, pulls out a revolver and kills him with a single shot, then says: "Typical servant of Sauron: bringing a sword to a gun fight".

That's really funny.

Wouldn't it just be better if Sauron himself went to the Shire to get the Ring, found Frodo and Gandalf, and then they all sat down for a nice puff of Pipeweed, and they all got high and lived happily every after.

[suicidal elf chick]

Hehehe, funny, Squatter of Amon Rudh! Okay, how about this: At the council of Elrond, when Frodo's supposed to volunteer to take the ring, he remains silent and says nothing. Everyone looks at him and... Here, maybe this will help:
Everyone's fighting over who's supposed to take the ring
Legolas: the elves!
Gimli: No, the dwarves!
Legolas: Elves!
Gimli: Dwaves!
Frodo remains sitting. Gandalf looks at him.
Gandalf: Frodo, you're supposed to take the ring. Now be a brave hobbit and do it!
Frodo: No! Why should I go risk my life, get bitten by a giant spider, and lose my middle finger when I can just stay here? I think I'll pass.
Gandalf: Come on, Frodo, you don't want to insult J.R.R Tolkien, do you?
Frodo: Bite me, Tolkien!
Everyone stops talking, pulls out their weapons, and advances on Frodo except for Gandalf.
Aragorn: What did you say, hobbit?
Frodo: I said, "Bite me, Tolkien!"
Gandalf: Aw crap.

And that is why Frodo cried when Gandalf fell and why it took so long for them to finish the movie.

[Davin]

Hahahaha! Someone should right a story about that happening, Frodo not taking the Ring and all. It would be interesting to see what would happen (considering the fact that Gandalf and the others DON'T know who Tolkien is..hehe..and that Frodo is supposed to take the Ring).

[suicidal elf chick]

Oh! I call it! I came up with it and now I call it! AUGH! NO ONE CAN TAKE IT! I'm going to make it into a parody!

[Elven Mistress]

I think it would be funny if Frodo was obsessed with finding the One Ring despite the Fellowship's reasoning that he's wearing it around his neck...

[Robin Headstrong]

I think it would've been funny if there was a bar fight in the Prancing Pony. Or if one of the hobbits got drunk... ^_^

[bombur]

No... you had such a good start... lets make it into a musical.

I seem to remember a good song for Boromir when trying to take the ring from frodo.

Boromir (with dark deep voice): "I like it, I want it, I'll take it off your hands and youll be sorry, if you cross me, cause youre alone."

Frodo: "I said, I dont like reggae, oh no, I love it"


Think of all the other great
possibilities for duets.

Sam and Frodo in Mordor singing "stand by me"

Aragorns solo: "Theese boots are made for walking"

JH

[ September 22, 2002: Message edited by: bombur ]

[Kithrèna Greenarrow Legolas]

Five words:

1. Pranceing poney

2. Ale

3. Stage

4. The Fellowship

5. Fishnet stockings

OK, I'm tired and that sucked... smilies/frown.gif...but still...The thought of Boromir in fishnets...AHHH!!! smilies/eek.gif I'M NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO SLEEP ALL NIGHT!!!

[elengil]

Saruman:

I never wanted to be a wizard anyway! Mummy made me do it. I wanted... I wanted to.. to be.. a... lumberjack! Leaping from tree to tree! As they float down the mighty rivers
of Gondor! With my best girl by my side! (In steps Eowyn)
The Giant Redwood tree!
The Houron!
The Ent!
The Mallyrn!
We'd sing! Sing! Sing!

Oh, I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay,
I sleep all night and I work all day.

CHORUS (Orcs): He's a lumberjack, and he's okay,
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

S: I cut down trees, I eat my lunch,
I go to the lavatree.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
And have buttered scones for tea.

Orcs: He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch,
He goes to the lavatree.
On Wednesdays he goes shoppin'
And has buttered scones for tea.

CHORUS

S: I cut down trees, I skip and jump,
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing,
And hang around in bars.

Orcs: He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps,
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing
And hangs around.... In bars???????

CHORUS

S: I chop down trees, I wear high heels,
Suspenders and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie
Just like my dear papa.

Orcs: He cuts down trees, he wears high heels
Suspenders and a .... a Bra????
(Orcs break off song, and begin insulting Saruman)

Eowyn: (crying) Oh Saruman!! And I thought you were so butch!

[ September 23, 2002: Message edited by: elengil ]

[Halbereth Diagona]

Sorry I've been off for ages the damn computer broke down.
HEHEHEH you are so funnily weird and weirdly funny!
One of the Fellowship starts doing karate and flips and stuff...
Frodo falls down the mountain...only he doesn't stop.
Aragorn: FRODO! Crappit, now how are we supposed to finish this damn movie?

[Willowberry_Firnsarnwen]

Rofl! Y'all are hilarious! Ok,here's one of my lame attempts..

Bilbo is making his 'Good-bye' speech and is about to slip on the ring,

"This is the end.I'm going now"

He closes his eyes and slips on the ring. Opening his right eye a slit he sees all of the hobbits staring at him. He wrinkles his forehead and starts waving his arms and standing on his head.

Finally Frodo walks up to his uncle and pats his shoulder,muttering,"I told you to stay away from the drinks!"

There y'are! smilies/biggrin.gif

~Willowberry~

[Kithrèna Greenarrow Legolas]

This picture sumes it all up:

http://groups.msn.com/isapi/fetch.dll?action=MyPhotos_GetPubPhoto&PhotoID=nJgAAAO8KCq!qVY9urT6bBC9vQwv2MK6!pcj7htIHR FxrMdOixtU4V7NsfQ4fBpIgCOZRFt56Dno

[Nevfeniel]

Notice how there's only eight of them?

[Kithrèna Greenarrow Legolas]

...WHERE THE HELL IS THE 9NTH ONE?!

[Rose Cotton]

He probably didn't get into the picture. He's most likely to the left of the picture.
LOL! These are great.

The lumber jack one was great. I love Monty Python.

[Elven Mistress]

Someone please correct me if i'm wrong, but i read somewhere (probably the books....) that the ninth one was the leader and was out on business....

Again, PLEASE correct me if i'm wrong...

OKay, i was gonna post something that i was happy didn't happen, but i can't think of anything... smilies/frown.gif

[Aryan]

these are funny, i'll try and think of one but i have a crap imagination smilies/frown.gif

[Blue Elf]

Oh, I actually tried to write a parody with Aragorn singing "Can't Wait to be King" from the Lion King.

Imagine: Instead of Saruman with his fancy, multi colored cloak.....Saruman in a rainbow bathrobe!!

Oh, about the lumberjack one...some people watch too much Monty Python. As if I should be talking...

(at the council)
Elrond: Who shall take the Ring?
(silence)
Elrond: Um, Frodo?
Frodo: Why don't YOU take it?
Elrond: Uh, um...

Sauron: (busy looking all scary when he suddenly shrieks) OWW!! I GOT A #@*&% BUG IN MY EYE!!

Oh k, those weren't very good...

[Horse-Maiden of the Shire]

Gollum singing Beautiful by Christina Aguilera ANY TIME.

We are beautiful (yess preciouss we are)
No matter what they say (nassty cruel hobbitses!!)
Words can't bring us down (no preciouss they cant, can they? noo precioussss)
Cause we are beautiful (gollum)
No matter what they say (yess precious we are!!)
Words cant bring us down (oh no preciouss no my preciousss! no no no!)
Dont you bring *gollum* us down today (no preciousss, they wont! they wont, preciouss, no they wont touch us with nasty cold swordses, no they wont precious *gollum gollum*)

[ January 31, 2003: Message edited by: Horse-Maiden of the Shire ]

[Gorwingel]

Dance numbers, with glitter and great music.
How about Matrix style fighting during Aragorn's battle with the Nazgul (ok, maybe that has been parodied way too often)

[Horse-Maiden of the Shire]

did you notice that when it shows him during that scene jumping off the rock, he's got a little Matrix-jump thing goin on..

[Meela]

i was gonna do a lion king/lotr parody smilies/biggrin.gif

i just thought of this...

Lotr: the conga version

the fellowship conga out of rivendell

the fellowship conga into moria

gandalf and the balrog conga off the bridge of khazad-dum (oh and earlier he conga-ed round isengard with saruman)

the fellowship + the elves conga to galadriel and celeborn

frodo and galadriel conga to the mirror

the uruk-hai conga to amon hen

aragorn, legolas, gimli, and gandalf conga to edoras

the uruk-hai and merry and pippin conga across rohan to isengard

the rohirrim somehow conga on horseback

gandalf, aragorn, leg, and gimli conga into meduseld

grima and theoden conga across the hall to meet them

the people of rohan conga to helms deep

the uruk-hai conga to helms deep

haldir and the elves conga up to helms deep

arwen and the elves conga out of rivendell

the orcs somehow conga towards the rohan people on wargs

the ents conga towards isengard

gandalf, eomer, and the rohirrim conga down the slope towards helms deep

faramir and the rangers of ithilien conga to henneth annun, and later to osgiliath

frodo, sam , and gollum conga to mordor

the easterlings conga towards mordor (both at the black gates, and the place where they get attacked by faramir)

the nazgul somehow conga around mordor on fell beasts