Comedy Scenes: can you picture these scenes in your head?!

[Samwise_Gamgee]

This post is like 101 things LOTR charactors would never say, but this has to do with the actual events and not just the funny sayings...if you follow me. Example:

In the Prancing Pony:

Sam: That fellow has been doin nothin but stare at us since we've arrived

Frodo: *smooths back hair* Who can't keep their eyes off me?!

(It helps if you add the place where it took place, even if we LOTR geeks already know!) smilies/smile.gif Hope to hear from ya...

[Samwise_Gamgee]

P.S, I have tons of them!

[Evisse the Blue]

LOL! post more!
i can't think of any right now

[Davin]

Yeh...post more! I seriously can't think of any.....my imagination is shot.

[Lady_Báin]

post more... yeah

[Anunia]

llllooooooooolllllllll smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif
I don't have a very rich imagination now... but please post more like this...

[Samwise_Gamgee]

Here's another one: At Amon Hen

Frodo sees the eye for the 3rd time and says: Been there done that!

(was that funny?)

[The Green Ringwraith]

(Imagine this: Pippin after drinking some of his pint, when Frodo is jerked bc to reality with him hearing Pippin.)

Pippin: Baggins? Sure I knows a Baggins! He's over there- Frodo Baggins! He's my second cousin on my motheer's side, once removed... He's single!
Men: *raise eyebrows and nod*
Frodo: *walks over and winks* Yes, I am...
________________

(Gandalf is fixing to fall off the bridge in Moria)
Gandalf: Run, you fools!
Pippin: *bursts into tears* That's the second time you've called me a fool in ten minutes!!!
Boromir: *grabs Pippin and runs* Oh, have some backbone, man!
_____________________

(Pippin just knocked the skeleton into the well)
Gandalf: Fool of a Took! throw yourself in next time and rid us of your stupidity!
Pippin: *shrugs, and jumps in, taking Gandalf's staff and hat with him*
Gandalf: No! Darnit, second staff I lost this movie!
Legolas: dang, he sure did make alot of nose before he went.
Merry: Pippin! Nooo!
_______________

*Boromir is dying, and Aragorn runs over to him. As in the movie, a supposedly dead orc raises his head. Aragorn nochalantly kicks the actor unconcious, while continueing with the scene*
_______________

(Frodo is leaning over the Mirror in Lorien. the Ring gets closer..... closer....)
Galadriel: Do not let the Ring touch the water!
Frodo: *Ring touches te water* *SHLOOP!*
Sam: where'd he go?!?! Frodo!!?!?
Sauron' evil voice thing: AHAHAHAAAHHAA!

[Samwise_Gamgee]

Elrond (in the battle at mt. doom) *looks at sauron* and says: Now do you wear that helmet because of your bad looks? Cause I know this great makeup artist!

OR....

Sam (in the battle in moria) *looks at the cave troll* and thinks: Hmmm...I wonder if Elrond knows a makeup artist with YEARS of experiance.....

(funny?)

[Lady_Báin]

this is sort of from a different thread.

*Arwen is sitting at the table of the great feast* Elrond "will you pass the salt" Arwen "If you want it come and claim it!!"

well not very funny but that's what you get when you don't post. smilies/biggrin.gif

[Manwe Sulimo]

Actually, I loved that one smilies/smile.gif

[Aroaraniel]

HAHA! They're all excellant! Unfortunetly, I have no sense of humor and I don't want to make you suffer, so I will not join in! But I will read! They are very funny!

[suicidal elf chick]

AUGH! YOU KILLED ME, GREEN RINGWRAITH! THOSE WERE HILARIOUS! MOOAHAHAHAHAAAAA!

[Ithiliel]

At the Bridge of Khazad Dum:

Gandalf to Balrog:
YOU SHALL NOT PASS!
(drives staff into the ground, it breaks)
SH*T!

[ August 16, 2002: Message edited by: Ithiliel ]

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

(Bree)

Aragorn: Are you frightened?

Frodo: No.

Aragorn: Not nearly- wait. Did you say no? You were supposed to say yes, I had this whole speach planned out!!

Frodo: Oh, I'm sorry. Yes, I'm frightened.

Aragorn: NO. Nevermind! Just forget it, it's too late now!! (goes into a corner and cries)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Bridge of Khazad-dum)

Gandalf: YOU...SHALL NOT..PASS!!

Balrog: Actually, I didn't want to...I was wondering if you could please step off my whip.

Gandalf; Oh, sorry..

[Robin Headstrong]

I'm no comedian, but I thought up some pretty crazy ones...

In Maggot's field
Sam: Mr. Frodo? Frodo? Frodo! (he finds Frodo) I thought I lost you.
Frodo: What do you mean?
Sam: It's just something Gandalf said.
Frodo: What did he say?
Sam: "Don't you lose him, Samwise Gamgee." And I don't mean to.
Frodo: Sam, we're still in the Shire! What could possibly happen?
(The huge Monty Python foot stomps on Frodo, making a huge farting noise.)
Sam: NOOOOOOO!!! smilies/frown.gif

-----------
In Moria, towards the Bridge of Khazad-Dum, the party is climbing down the stairs and jumping over a gap. Boromir is ready to toss Gimli across.
Gimli: Nobody tosses a dwarf! ( He jumps across and is losing his balance on the edge. Legolas grabs him by the beard.)
Gimli: Not the beard! (The beard turns out to be fake and is ripped off of Gimli's chin. Gimli falls.)
Gimli: I said not the beeeeeeaaaard!
Legolas: (holding the fake beard) Oopsies. smilies/biggrin.gif

[Gamgee]

wow!! those are so funny!! here's my try:

*Arwen and Aragorn are standing on that little bridge-log thing looking into eachothers eyes and it's so romantical..(sigh)*
Aragorn: How YOU doin?? *copying Joey Tribioni off of friends*

sorry if it was kinda lame!

[Aroaraniel]

Haha, that wasn't lame, Gamgee!

[Lomelinde]

(Lothlorien)

Gimli:I have the eyes of a hawk, and the ears of a fox.
(Fellowship suddenly surrounded by various stuffed animals thrust in their faces. Haldir saunters down, stroking a teddy bear)

Haldir: The Dwarf breathes so loud, I could've chucked this at him in the dark.

Aragorn:....Haldir o Lorien?
Haldir smilies/frown.gifsighs) Yes, yes, some moron thought it would be funny to use our bowstrings for a gigantic harp he's making...Really rather pathetic, isn't it?

Aragorn: ...So you're guarding the Golden Wood with fuzzy plush toys?

Haldir: (clutches teddy bear protectively)(in a menacing tone)Are you making fun of Snuggles?

Ok, that's why I don't try my hand at humor more often... smilies/tongue.gif

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

Lomelinde, that was hilarious!!
smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/tongue.gif

[NyteSky]

Haha, hilarious! Especially the teddy bears and the "Are you frightened" ones. smilies/biggrin.gif I'll try a couple.

Ringwraith: Bagginssssssssssss?
Gaffer: Uh, I don't think I should be tellin you 'bout no Bagginses, beggin your pardon. (ok, I can't talk like the Gaffer, I know.)
Ringwraith: McDonaldsssssssss?
Gaffer: Oh sure, there's one down the road. You can get Rings of Power with your Happy Meal now too.

At the Bridge of Khazad Dum.
"Nobody tosses a dwarf!"
As Gimli begins to take a small running leap, Legolas sticks out his foot. Gimli trips over it just before jumping.
Legolas looks to Aragorn and shrugs. "I never did like dwarves."

Ok, that's enough. I'll spare you any further attempts.

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

I'm laughing hysterically at the McDonalds one! That was good. I never did get the little toys though, I should have gone! smilies/rolleyes.gif smilies/wink.gif

Aragorn: We don't stop till nightfall.

Pippin: What about breakfast?

Aragorn: We already had it.

Pippin: One yes, but what about Elevenses.

Merry: I don't think he knows about those Pip.

Pippin: What about Luncheon and Afternoon Tea and (a space alien pops out of Pippin: belly)

Alien: Hello my baby! Hello my honey! Hello my ragtime gaaaal..

(Ok, so I got the idea from Spaceballs!)

----------------------------

Arwen: Do you remember when we first met?

Aragorn: You said you'd bind yourself to me, and forsake the immortality of your people.

Arwen: And to that I hold. (blah blah)
*looks at Aragorn meaningfully*

Aragorn: Mmm, that's nice. Can we hurry this up now, I have to meet a whole dozen more of ladies to discuss this. Apparantly you're not the only one who wants me, you'll have to wait in line.
-----

I know I got the words mixed up, it's late, me tired!

[Rec the Hedgehog]

These are all good. My turn smilies/evil.gif

Marry: This my freinds, is a pint. (Put's a pint of beer on the table)

Pippin: Is that the best you can do? THIS my freinds is a TON! (Puts a 10 foot high = barral of beer on the table.)

Sam: *Hic* Take Me drunk, I'm Home (Famous line from the storys I read)

[Samwise_Gamgee]

lol, that last one was good! smilies/biggrin.gif

[Frodo_Baggins]

Hey!! These are great! I'll have to think of some....

[ August 21, 2002: Message edited by: Frodo_Baggins ]

[Frodo_Baggins]

ok this isn't good but its all i can think of right now. Its at the council of Elrond.

Legolas: This is no mere ranger. This is Aragorn son of Arathorn, to be the next king of Gondor. (can't quite remember what he says).

Boromir: Isealdors' heir? Gondor needs no king.

Aragorn: Sit down Legolas.

Legolas No!(grabs his chair and throws it somewhere) I will not sit down!

Boromir: Erm Legolas, that's the wrong line, you're actually supposed to sit down.

Legolas: Oh. Did I do it again? (Everyone nodds) You must understand the stress with all these girls loving me.

Everyone nodds again

[ August 21, 2002: Message edited by: Frodo_Baggins ]

[Catherine]

*When the orc is about to kill Boromir with the third arrow*
Orc:Hey, wait a minute, your kinda cute, wanna go out? We can forget the whole thing that happened before.

Boromir:um.......sure sounds great!

*Aragorn jumps on the orc*

Boromir:Aragorn whats wrong with you? Thats my new "FRIEND"!

(Its not funny but o well I cant think of anything.) smilies/rolleyes.gif

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

Barfy that was good, but also add that WHY Aragorn jumped on Boromir! He's the jealous type smilies/wink.gif smilies/tongue.gif smilies/evil.gif

Oh oh, Frodo Baggins, I thought of something else! Sorry for stea- I mean borrowing your idea smilies/wink.gif Hope you don't mind!

Legolas: He is no mere ranger, this is Aragorn son of Arathorn, you owe him your illegiance (sp?)

Boromir: Aragorn? So this is Isildur's heir.

Legolas: And heir to the throne of Gondor.

Boromir: Gondor has no king. Gondor needs no king.

Legolas: What'd you say!?

Aragorn: Oh no girl, no you didn't!! Mmmm, Legolas, I think he DID!

(Legolas throws a chair at Boromir)

Audience: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!

(Jerry Springer appears and stands there looking stupid, watching the fight and 'trying' to break it up)

That's all I can think of now.

[whit144m]

Those are sooo funny! I thought of one, it's not that great, oh well. I stayed up till 2:30 last night and 12 the night before.

From The Hobbit:
Gollum: Teeth, Teeth, my Precioussss, but we only has six! (a tooth falls out, all rotten and decayed) But we only has five!
smilies/rolleyes.gif Bad, but I'm tired.

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

That was funny, Amanheruwen!! smilies/biggrin.gif

[whit144m]

smilies/biggrin.gif Thag you very butch!

Thought of another:

Bilbo: I should give the Ring to Frodo. (Walks up to Frodo and kneels on one knee like proposing) Will you marry me?

[Elven Mistress]

Here goes my luck at being funny (sorry if i kill anyone from boredom/stupidity...) And sorry for taking that whole Council of Elrond thing...it's just such a good idea!!!! *grin*

Legolas: He is no mere ranger, this is Aragorn son of Arathorn, you owe him your legiance (spe?)

Boromir: Aragorn? So this is Isildur's heir.

Legolas: And heir to the throne of Gondor.

Boromir: Gondor has no king. Gondor needs no king.

Legolas(in girly voice): *staring at Aragorn, pointing at Boromir* They don't need a king *shakes head*

Aragorn(in same, ready to start cat-fight voice): He said they don't need a king

Legolas: He sure they don't need a king?

Aragorn: He said they don't need a king...

--2 hours later--

Aragorn: He said they don't need a king, girlfriend!

--Elven Mistress--
P.S. Sorry if that like killed anyone...I'm not the real funny type... smilies/frown.gif

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

No that was funny! It could be like those Italian mafia kinda movies too, like:

Legolas: He said they don't need a king..

Aragorn: Did he just say they don't need a king?

Legolas: I think he did.

Aragorn: No, I don't think you heard it right. Hey Boromir! Did you just say they don't need a king?

Boromir: (confused) Um....yeah...

Aragorn: Did he just say they don't need a king??

Legolas: Oh, I think he did this time.

Aragorn: You sure bout that?

*and still 5 hours later*

Aragorn: You SURE that he said they don't need a king?!

[Kithrèna Greenarrow Legolas]

((Some more take-offs))

Legolas: This is no mere Ranger. This is Aragorn, son of Arathorn, to be the next king of Gondor

Bormior: Aragorn? (OK, I admit it, I forgot what he says)

Legolas: You owe him your alegence

Bormior: Gondor needs no king

Legolas: smilies/mad.gif

Aragorn: Sit down Legolas

Legolas: Who Me?

Aragorn: yes, you

Legolas: OK *Sits down and his chair breaks* OOOOUUUUUCCCCHHHHH!!!! I THINK I GOT A SPLINTER! *Rubs tush*

Frodo: *Hideing minature saw* heheheh....

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Bormior: Gondor needs no King

Aragorn: Sit down Legolas

Legolas: What if I don't want to sit down?

Aragorn: What do you mean "What if I don't want to sir down" ?

Legolas: I mean I don't want to sit down!

Aragorn: You had better sit down!

Legolas: And what if I don't?

Aragorn: Then..*Thinks* SIT DOWN OR...ELSE!

Legolas: *Starts laughing his head off* OR ELSE!! BWAHAHAHAHA OOHH HOW ORIGNAL! BWAHAHAHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEEEE!!!!

Aragorn: *Jumps on Legolas and starts hitting him*

Legolas: *Still laughing, rolls on top of Aragorn, ready to sock him when a flash gose off*

All: *Looks towards Elrond*

Elrond: *Evil smirk* Either you both sit down or this *Waves a instant photo of Legolas on top of Aragorn* gose into the paper

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Gimli: I WILL BE DEAD BEFORE I SEE THE RING IN THE HANDS OF AN ELF!

Legolas: AT LEAST WE'ER TALLER YOU SAWED OFF LITTLE RUNT!

Elrond: Thats not what you say, Leggs -_-'

Legolas: I know. But i have two reasons: A. That was really offencive B. You must understand the stress being put on Me by all these girls (Sorry for steali-- borrowing your line, Mr. Baggins )

[Robin Headstrong]

This crappy scene is in the Shadow of the Past chapter, after Gandalf tells Frodo about the Ring:

Rustling sounds come from the bush under the window.

Gandalf: Get down.

Frodo: Um, okay. (ducks)

Gandalf walks towards the window and jabs the bush with his staff.

Sam: Ow!

Gandalf grabs Sam and pulls him through the window. Sam hits his head on the window sill.

Sam: OWWW!! Oh my God, my nose is bleeding!

Frodo: Tilt your head back!

Sam: That's not helping...

Gandalf: Sorry, Samwise. Here, let me have a look at that-

Sam: OW! Don't touch it! I think it's broken!

[Arie]

Gimli: I have the eyes of a hawk and the ears of a fox!

Haldir: The dwarf breathe so loud we could've shot him in the dark!-Heck his breath even smells worse than crap!

[Maltaharma]

Just imagine it...
All the Black Riders lying in the Mordor Community Hospital after their bout with the river.
Rider One: Kazooooo!
Rider Two: Bob! What the h**l is that??
Rider One: It's my kazoo. I got it off one of the hobbit.
Rider Three: Well knock it off before I hit you with a bedpan!
Rider One: Hmph...

[Maltaharma]

Just imagine it...
The Fellowship sitting around the campfire, singing kumbayah.

Yup. That's all I have to say.

[Maltaharma]

I want somebody to draw a picture of this one...
Orcs/Uruk-hai in big poofy dresses and high heels, doing the can-can.

[Samwise_Gamgee]

I'll get to work on that drawing! lol, then I can e-mail it to you. When I'm done of course smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif

[Merry_Pippin_Frodo_Sam]

ok!
how about......

Gimili: these woods are perilious, we should go back!

Haldir: you have entered the realm of the lady of the wood, you connot go back!(haldir's jaw breaks(like a robot)

Strider: Haldir, we need your pro-

haldir inturrupts
Haldir: you have entered the realm of the lady of the wood, you cannot go back!

Srider: Yes, i know, but-
Haldir: you have entered the ralm of the lady of the wood you cannot go back!
Strider: but-
Haldir: you have entered the realm of the lady of the wood, you cannot go back!

Strider: yes-
You have ente r r r r (haldir breaks)

Legolas: DUDE! was he getting annoying!
let's go find Galadriel and see what her newest update on her clones are!

ok, it waz dumb
_______________________________________

at the council of Elrond:

Strider: if by my life or death i can save you, i will
you have my soul!

Legolas: and you have my bones!

Gimili: and MY @$$!!

Boromir: you carry the fate of us all, little one, there for you have my moral support.

ok i'm tired!elijah and dom sword fighting.jpg smilies/smile.gif

[Merry_Pippin_Frodo_Sam]

moria:

Sam about Gimili jumping across the stair gap: if he could JUST, GO, ALL, THE, WAY!!!

Gimili trips and falls, legolas tries to save him, but misses.

Sam: nope.

______________________________

Legolas aims an arrow at Lurtz, but as he shoots, another orc comes crashing out of the bush and takes the arrow instead of Lurtz......

Legolas: HEY! NO FAIR!! My record was perfect! Then you picked that one off! That was a pass interference!!! .... er sumthin
.............................................

V.O. And for the starting line up!
Frodo Baggins of the shire! #99 1/2
w/him are relitives Merry Brandybuck, #2/3, and Pippin Took #3/4! and also representing the shire... SAMWISE GAMGEE #99.3
For the Dwarves: Gimili-son-of-Gloin #00(catcher)
and representing the elves Legolas #6
now for the MEN!!!! Boromir of Gondor#11, and Arogorn son of what's-his-name!!!#01(.9)
NOW!!!! OUR COACH!! also starting in left-out-right-bench!!! GANDAAAALLLLFFFF GREYHAM!!!! #L(oser)
_____________________________________

ok these are cheesy but what the heck! smilies/wink.gif

[Samwise_Gamgee]

smilies/rolleyes.gif smilies/rolleyes.gif smilies/biggrin.gif Uhhh....yea!

[Merry_Pippin_Frodo_Sam]

yeah, i feel like i bashed the lort!!!
smilies/frown.gif
but!
i was in a real tipsy mood, and i was making one of me younger bros roll all over the floor and choking w/the stuff i was doin..... and so he begged me to post it.... i did. (as you've probably noticed)

[Samwise_Gamgee]

lort?! rofl now that's funny! smilies/biggrin.gif

[Elven Mistress]

I had another really funny one but i can't remember so I'll just post this one for now... My friends and I were really hyper one day and kinda came up with this one...It's stupid, but if you think of it happening it's funny. And we know we copied the WEEE part from the bloopers in the fanfics - it's just SO funny!

When the four hobbits are first following Strider...

Frodo: We have no choice but to trust him.

*Frodo does the freaky shoulder thing and accidently hits Merry who falls into Pippin. Pip rams into Sam who (being the fat hobbit that he is) pushes Bill the Pony over a cliff*

Frodo: Yell WEEEEEEEEE! Bill! Yell WEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

[Samwise_Gamgee]

Freaky shoulder thing? Guess I have to watch for that part. And don't make fun of Sam's weight! *sniff*

[Elven Mistress]

Sorry, was saying that lovingly - Sam is so sweet! He's just...cute! (not as cute as Pippin though...)

Running away from the Black Riders the first time, Frodo is way behind.

Pippin: Run Frodo!

Sam: Mr. Frodo!

Merry: Run!

*Frodo runs, jumps and misses the boat*

Pippin *after staring at the bubbles Frodo is forming from under the water (he's obviously sinking)*: Well, he ran...

[Samwise_Gamgee]

All is forgivin! btw liked that joke! Tehe!

[Nevfeniel]

Okay, I can just see this. *At a normal office building**Man running**Being chased by Ringwraiths*
Man: HOLD THE ELEVATOR!!
Okay, that's not REAL funny, but I tried.
I actually had a dream about this. Weird, huh?

[ September 14, 2002: Message edited by: Nevfeniel ]

[VanimaEdhel]

I have two words for you: Jack Black. He's ruined the Council scene for me...but I love him so much: he's so funny...

I have two more words for you: Monty Python.

ANYWAY...

Scene: When they are on the hill. Boromir is teaching the hobbits to swordfight, etc. Legolas goes up to the rock...
Gimli: If anyone was asking me...which I note they're not...I'd say we were taking the lo-
Legolas: I'm king of the world! Woooo-ooooo! *Waves his arms like Leonardo DiCaprio*
Gimli: *Raises one eyebrow*
Legolas: Oh! I mean: Crebain from Dunland!

--------------------

Scene: Aragorn and Arwen are having their whole romantic scene...blah, blah, blah...
Arwen: Long years have passed. You did not wear the troubles you carry now...
Aragorn: *In a creepy Satanic whisper* But I love you more than Jesus!

Didn't see "The Prophesy"? Oh well: missed a small role by Viggo Mortensen playing Satan...he said that...had to be there I guess...

[Nevfeniel]

Hahahaha. . . HA!! I loved that first one, Vanima. smilies/biggrin.gif

[NazgulNumberTen]

(morgoth deep in agband)
(orc spins something)
LEFT FOOT GREEN!!
(horrible, i know, but for some reason i have had twister in my thoughts all day_

[Nevfeniel]

I thought it was funny, NN10.

[NazgulNumberTen]

thanks smilies/biggrin.gif

[Robin Headstrong]

I had Smurfs on my mind for some bizarre reason, so I couldn't help but come up with this: (please note that this is extremely bizarre and inane, like most of my comedy scenes)

---------------

(After the Hobbits run through the field and fall down that cliff/hill)

Sam: Trust a Brandybuck and a Took!
Merry: That was just a detour... a shortcut!
Sam: Shortcut to what?
Pippin: Mushrooms!

(Sam, Merry and Pippin pick up the mushrooms.)

Smurf: Hey, that's my house you're smurfing up, you house-smurfers!
Sam: ***?
Another Smurf: Oh no! My house is being eaten! Someone smurf Papa Smurf!
Papa Smurf: Now what the Smurf is the meaning of this?
Smurf: Those giants are smurfing our homes?
Pippin: Giants? *looks around* Where?
Hefty Smurf: SMURF THEM!!!

(All the Smurfs jump on the Hobbits and attack.)

[Tanraugwen Greenleaf]

Say nothing. Running on two hours sleep.

Company running across the field into Lorien, Legolas trips over unseen rock, hobbits trip over Legolas, all groan... smilies/evil.gif

[Elven Mistress]

In the movie, near the end when Frodo is standing near the water holding the ring in a very compassionate but meaningless way a random orc comes up, stares at him, takes the ring, and runs away.

[Kithrèna Greenarrow Legolas]

*In the scenenear the end where Aragorn says "I would have followed you to the verry fires or Mordo"*

Aragorn: I would have followed you to--

Legolas: *Comes runing up the hill, about to shout something impoprtaint when he sees Aragorn on his knees in front of Frodo, holding his hand* *Starts going through a thousand emotions*
smilies/eek.gif smilies/eek.gif smilies/eek.gif... smilies/confused.gif smilies/confused.gif WHAT IN THE NAME--HOLEY MOTHING OF SWIRLING--OH MY F*ING GOD!!! *Eyes rolls up in head, limbs go limp and faints, hittting head on a rock*

Frodo&Aragorn: *Sweat drop* -_-'

[ September 22, 2002: Message edited by: Kithrèna Greenarrow Legolas ]

[Willowberry_Firnsarnwen]

Alrighty,I'll try my hand at it..

*Elrond and Isuildur are inside the cavern in Mt.Doom*
Elrond:Cast it into the fire!
Isuildur:*Stares at the ring and then at Elrond before turning away*
Elrond:*is starting to get mad right about now and says angrily* Cast it in you fool or suffer the consiquences!
Isuildur:*makes a snotty face at him and says sarcasyicly* What'll you do if I don't? Throw me in?
Elrond:*Grins and walks over to him* Yup *and pushes him over the edge of the tiny bridge,Isuildur girlie screams can be heard floating up*

~Willowberry~

[ September 23, 2002: Message edited by: Willowberry_Firnsarnwen ]

[Kithrèna Greenarrow Legolas]

Now if only Elrond had really done that, this hole mess could have been avioded....

[Willowberry_Firnsarnwen]

AT LAST!!! Someone who agrees with me on that one Kithrèna !!! Oh,right,back to buisness..>.<

I must say,these are all really good! Bravo to y'all! Now,I shall return once I've done some brainstorming - my imagination is on break >.< -
~Willowberry~

[Willowberry_Firnsarnwen]

At the council of Elrond:
Aragorn:By my life or death,I will protect you.
Legolas:You have my bow.
Gimli:And you have my axe!
Boromir:Umm,yah..Well,you have my vote if you ever run for president or whatever. Well,I really gotta go,orcs to slay,people to impress,you know.
--------------
The Fellowship is on the mountain (what's it called again?! This is shamefel..) and Saruman has just created an avalanche:
*Several arms and legs come up out of the snow and some one coughs.Legolas shakes himself free and starts walking across the snow*

Aragorn:Gangalf we mus-...Umm..Legolas,you might wanna watch for that cliff there,kinda slippery and all. We wouldn't want you to fall..

*Aragorn jumps up and shoves Legolas off the cliff and starts jumping around and dancing*
Aragorn:WOO HOO!! Now I have the most fan-girls! So long Legolas! WE'll miss you!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!
----------

Ok,that was pathetic..
~Willowberry~

[Kithrèna Greenarrow Legolas]

Hope ya dont mind, but I'd like to add something on to thayt last one...I'm a copy cat smilies/frown.gif

Aragorn: *Danceing around*

Legolas: *Had clung to a rock and climbs back up. Taps Aragorn on the shoulder*

Aragorn: *Looks**GULP!* Uhh...Hi?

Legolas: *Pushs Aragorn off* AND NOW I HAVE YOUR FANGIRLS! BWAHAHAHA!!!!!

Boromir: Life is so unfare...Why is it just those two????

[Elven Mistress]

On the way down Caradhras...

Legolas skids down the mountain in a pair of shorts while shouting, "Narly surf!" (sorry bout the spelling - i'm not sure about it)

Also sorry about how stupid it was -amazingly i'm tired...

[Isilya]

We're all tired. Remember, we're dead!! smilies/wink.gif

[Merry_Pippin_Frodo_Sam]

ok dudes i'm not gonna go through the whole litany, but, picture: The Emperor's new groove:
Legolas:*after fall of snow and Caharadras(?)* WAHOOO! ooooo i'ma crumbly canyon wall and i'm taking you down with me.... NOT TODAY BUD!!.... I snatched you right out of the air!.. UH-HUH!!! uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh!!

Nazgul:NOTHING!!! WE've searched HERE (scratching off map) HERE, HERE, AND HERE! AND STILL NO SIGN OF Baggins!*to wingy-ding-thing* --- PULL OVER! I'M GETTING TIRED!

oooooooooooo and picture Boromir with kronk's shoulder angels! LOLOLOL!!!

[Merry_Pippin_Frodo_Sam]

OH! and one more thing (this is from Shrek)

Boromir: And what a LOVELY cave this is! It's amazing what you dwarves can do with such a MODEST budjet! I LIKE THAT PILLAR! That is a NICE Pillar!!!

or bugs bunny and nazgul:

Nazgul: 'lookin' for a baggins have you seen 'im?

Frodo: hmmmmm..... does he have long curly hair?like this?*displays hair*


nazgul: YES!

frodo: and does he have big furry feet?like these?

nazgul: YES!

frodo: and does he walk around?like this?*hobbles around*

nazgul: YES! YES!

frodo: and does he walk around with a ring, and say "The ring, it's getting heavier"

nazgul: YES YES!!! THAT'S THE ONE!!! HAVE YOU SEEN HIM????!??

Frodo: nope! never 'eard of 'im!

ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh *nazgul grone and walk away....

Frodo: what a maroon what a ultra maroon!

*morgul knife comes whizzing through the air pinning frodo against a tree*

Nazgul: heeeeeeeeeeey! what do you think we are? stupid?................

[hobbitlass]

At the Mirror of Galadriel....
You are a ring-bearer, Frodo. To bear a ring of power means to be alone.
Alone! Alone! What do you call 8 other stinky dirty nasty people I've been trapesing around all over the wild with!?

[Luinëcolloien]

I have two. Here's one (another council of ELrond)
Boromir; ANd what would a mere Ranger know of this?
Legolas: This is no mere Ranger. He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn, and heir to the throne of Gondor.
Boromir: *turns bright red*(to Aragorn) SOrry sorry sorry!

( I know, sorta lame, but..)

-Frodo with Galadriel in Lorien-

Galadriel: Will you look into my mirror?
Frodo:What will I see?
Galadriel: Even the wisest, cannot tell.
*Starts to pour water, but misses fountain and pours magic Mirror-Water all over her feet*
Galadriel: D'oh!

[Elven Mistress]

Another one with Frodo and Galadril

Galadriel: Will you look into the mirror?

Frodo: What will i see?

Galadriel (thinking): umm...i'm not quite sure, actually, just look, okay!

[Eruialiwen]

OMG these are absolutely hilarious *rolls off chair* I especially love the "and you have my bones" "and my @$$" one smilies/biggrin.gif As well as the one where Legolas faints....LOL -.-;

I'm trying to think of a funny one, I really am! I really love the Council of Elrond theme, so I guess I'll go with that!

Boromir: And what would a Ranger know of this matter?

*Legolas springs up from his chair, knocking the chair over and causing a domino effect of everyone being bowled over in their seats...he doesn't appear to notice* This is no Ranger, this is Aragorn son of Arathorn, the heir to Gondor...*his voice trails away as he notice that he and Boromir are the only ones left standing.

Aragorn (on his side on the floor): Sit down, Legolas.

*Legolas attempts to sit down, forgetting that he doesn't have a seat, and topples over the edge of the terrace and lands bum-first on the ground*

*Dwarves snigger uncontrollably from their entanglement on the floor*

*Legolas's shrill wail rises up* MY HAIR!!! THERE'S A LEAF IN IT! IT'S FILTHY! SOMEONE GET MY HERBAL ESSENCES!!! MY PRECCIIOOUSSSS!!!! *his sobs are heard; the Dwarves snigger and giggle at his misfortune as they try to untangle their beards from each other*

[Merry_Pippin_Frodo_Sam]

OMG!!!
dominoe effect! LOVE IT!!!!
THAt is hilarious!!!!

Gandalf: FLY YOU FOOLS! Aragorn:*flaps his arms* I'M TRYING!!!

[Merry_Pippin_Frodo_Sam]

ok! this is probly already here... sorry!

Galadriel: Will you look into my birdbath?

Frodo: What will I see?

Galadriel: Oh! well, i dunno! Various sorts of feathers, not to menchin bird poop, uh, meybe your reflection, you see, i haven't cleaned it in about a week, so, you might see some WEIRD stuff in there, say..... visions.... but don't worry! it's all in my imagination!


SORRY!!!!!

[Reyna Evergreen]

Oh my flipping God!! This is SO funny! I'll take a try, even though it might be...well....HORRIBLE.

*Arwen has just faced the Ringwraiths and is muttering the elvish words to make the river come flowing onto the Nazgul*

silence...

Nazgul: Um..excuse me, but isn't there supposed to be a deadly flow of water rushing towards us now?

Peter Jackson: Oh sh*t! Cut!

*Liv Tyler and the Nazgul wander off into the middle of the scene to meet PJ*

PJ: It should have--((bubble bubble bubble))

If no one gets it....sry!

[Eruialiwen]

LOLOL smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif

[Confused-Hobbit]

rofl! Oh my sides hurt! You are all so funny! Especially the dominos one! rofl I can just picyure that! smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif

[VanimaEdhel]

Glorfindel: Ai na vedu-
Arwen: *pushing Glorfindel* Not today, Findy! *fixes her hair and whips out her sword* What's this, a Ranger, caught off his guard?
(A few minutes later)
Glorfindel: *standing in front of the mirror* What went wrong? You were doing so well!

-------------------

Elrond: *at the Council* Yoyoyo! 'Sup 'sup my homies? So, this is how it's goin' down: we got a ring, see? And we needa destroy it...so: which of y'all peeps wanna go do it?

Okay...that was lame...oh well...sounded better in my head...

[Eruialiwen]

LOL!!!!!!

[Kithrèna Greenarrow Legolas]

*Legolas's shrill wail rises up* MY HAIR!!! THERE'S A LEAF IN IT! IT'S FILTHY! SOMEONE GET MY HERBAL ESSENCES!!! MY PRECCIIOOUSSSS!!!!
I know how he feels....I've been there Myself.

---
Galadriel: Will you look into the mirror?

Frodo: What will I see?

Galadriel: *Go's through her entire speech and Frodo looks in*

Frodo: *GASP!!!* *Sees thousands of Elven wemon running around in laungre*

Galadriel: I know what it is you saw...Your Dirty little hobbit...!

---

Aragorn: I would have followed you to the very fires of--*As be go's to bend down he trips on a banana peel and falls flat on his back* Mordor...

Legolas: *Eating a banana that has no peel on it* *Evil snicker*

---
**As the Borlog comes around the corner in Moria**
Aragorn:
My starts, where on Middle Earth did you get that aweful hair do? It dossent become you at all. here for goodness sakes, let m fix it up a bit *Out of nowhere, he gets a table, hairbrush and chair and sits the Borlog down in it* Look how stringy and messy it is. Shame, shuch an iiinnnteresting monster to. My stars, if a Iiinnnteresting monster cant have a iiinnnteresting hair do, I dont know what the world is comeing to. In My bussness you meet so many iiinnnteresting peopel, but the most iiinnnteresting are the monsters...Oh dear that'll never hold, we'll just have to have a permenent(Is that not how Bugs says it?) *Runs to a closset, gets a few stick of TNT and sticks them in the Borlogs hair like hair roolers* Now I have to go give a iiinnnteresting old lady a mancure, but I'll be back before your done *Runs off* *7 secconds later, the TNT blows up and the Fellowship escapes*

I posted that one in a second thread, but I thought it would go well here too...SOrry there so lame.

[NazgulNumberTen]

Galadriel: Will you look into the mirror?

Frodo: What will I see?

Galadriel: *Go's through her entire speech and Frodo looks in*

Frodo: *GASP!!!* *Sees thousands of Elven wemon running around in laungre*

Galadriel: I know what it is you saw...Your Dirty little hobbit...!


http://forum.barrowdowns.com/comiccontest/scottpenn-galadriel_mirror.jpg
hmmmmm...gee thats original...

[Artanis]

You know that part where they have the audence with Galadreil and Celeborn? Well, if you have seen the movie, you will know that Boromere looks seriously constapated right then, and it was at that moment that I chose to yell out "The voices, Boromere, the voices!" Luckly, I wasn't in the movie theater...

[Kithrèna Greenarrow Legolas]

I thought it was funny....
Why U allways pickin' on Me, NN10?????

[NazgulNumberTen]

i just thought i'd point out that yours has been done already

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

How about.

As Gandalf and Denethor are engaged in their battle of wills and the atmosphere is charged with tension and gravity, someone breaks wind. It reverberates hugely through the throne room. An awkward silence falls.

[Dark-Caranthir]

Here's the only one I can think of,

Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli are placing Boromir's corpse in the boat for his final voyage.
They push it off and begin to sing the Lament for Boromir. They finish.

Legolas: I can still hear his voice on the wind...

Disembodied voice of Boromir: Eh, I'm not dead! Can somebody help me because I'm not de... AAAAAAAARGH!!!!!

SICKENING CRUNCH

The trio walk slowly away, shaking their heads...


Not that funny, I know, sick, but not funny...

[Elven Mistress]

I seriously doubt many of you will get this, but it's worth a try!!

During the battle scene in Moria, Aragorn finishes off an orc, then stops all of a sudden:
Aragorn - /group DING! Level 10!
Then he resumes fighting as the rest of the fellowship answer him with congratz and congratulations....

yeah, okay...

[steve]

After the Ring is Destroyed and Gwaihir and Landroval are carrying frodo and sam away

Landroval: (in common toung) Hey Gwaihir, i bet you cant do a barrel roll
Gwaihir: I bet I can
Frodo: No, No dont!
*Gwaihir does a barrow roll and frodo falls off of his back and into mt doom*

Atleaast i thought it was funny

[the phantom]

On Weathertop the Nazgul are coming after Frodo. Right as the Witch King is about to stab him, Sam cuts around the right Nazgul gaurd, ducks under the block of another one tackles the Witch King. He jumps up, throws his hands in the air, and a bunch of people with noisemakers jump out and start chanting "Samwise!! Samewise!! Samwise!!"
(You won't get it if you haven't seen Rudy)

At Rivendell Elrond is talking to Frodo before he leaves to destroy the ring.
Elrond: Best wishes on your quest, Frodo.
Frodo: Thank you master Elrond. Good bye!!
Elrond: Goodbye... Mr. Anderson.
Frodo: My name is Frodo!!
(Please tell me you've seen The Matrix)

At the counsel in Rivendell-
Gimli: I will be dead, before I see the ring in the hands of an elf!!
Legolas: Okay. (shoots him with an arrow) Problem solved.

[Dorathain_Flamesword]

(Frodo and Gandalf in Bag End.)

Frodo comes running into bag End looking for Bilbo.

Frodo: Bilbo! I found these two girls!
------
(The four Hobbits fall down the slope from Farmer Maggot's fields onto the road.)

Sam: Trust a Brandybuck and a Took!

Merry: What? That was just a detour, a shortcut.

Sam: A shortcut to what?

Pippin: Shrooms!

(this one funny?)
------
(Frodo and Sam are walking through Farmer Maggot's field.)

"Hmm, Signs was a good movie," said Sam, looking up at the pieces of corn.
------
(On the Bridge of Khazad-Dum.)

Gandalf: You cannot pass!

Gandalf stabs his staff in his own foot and falls off the bridge.

or

Gandalf: You cannot pass!

The Balrog raises his foot and steps on Gandalf.
------
(In Bree, Frodo trips on Pippin's foot a the Prancing Pony.)

Pippin: Steady on, this pint wasn't cheap ya' moron!
------
(In the Council of Elrond, Arwen gives Aragorn her pendant.)

Aragorn: You can't give me this!

Arwen: It is mine to give to whom I will.

Aragorn: Is that a diamond in it?

[ December 01, 2002: Message edited by: Dorathain_Flamesword ]

[Max]

(In Lothlorien the elves are singing in their own tongue, the fellowship listens but does not understand)

Frodo: What are they saying, legolas?

Legolas: Their singing the jingle for Mug Root Beer.

Frodo: Oh, shall we sing with them?

Legolas: If you wish.

Frodo: Mug, Mug, Mug, Mug . . .

Legolas walks off giggling as Gladirel yells at Frodo for disturbing the elves song for Gandalf.

**************************************

Frodo: If you wish it I will give you the One Ring.

Gladriel: Oh, sure.

Frodo: Sucker. (Frodo runs away giggling)

Gladriel: (yelling)Indian Giver

****************************************

Legolas: He is no mere ranger, this is Aragorn son of Arathorn, you owe him your allegiance.

Boromir: Aragorn? So this is Isildur's heir.

Legolas: And heir to the throne of Gondor.

Boromir: Gondor has no king. Gondor needs no king.

Aragorn: Sit down Legolas.

Legolas: Shut up, You whiny little punk. Just because you don't want to be a king doesn't mean that some of us aren't still royalty here.

Elrond: Lego-

Legolas: Oh, blow it out your rear-end Ellie. (to Boromir) Now ya big duffus, I'm tired of being stepped all over, I'm a prince damn it.

(The blunt side of an ax thwanks him in the back side of his head. Everyone looks at Gimli.)

Elrond: Shall we continue then?

(Legolas remains uncontius for the remainder of the meeting and receives many kicks as the council disbands. Afterward Aragon tells him about his bravery in voluteering for the fellowship.)

******************************************

Aragorn: Let us hunt some orcs!!! Legolas, grab the assault rifle and extra clips. Gimli, you ready the warheads.

Gimli: Ai, capi'n!!

Legolas: But, sir, we don't have enough room for it all . . .

Aragorn: So we either bring the automatic weapons or the swords and bows?

Legols nods his head.

Aragorn: Hmm, will we be able to bring the Play Boys if we leave the guns?

Gimli nods his head.

Aragorn: Swords and Arrows it is!! Onward men!!!

********************************************

This was really fun, I hope Legolas doesn't come off as an a**hole in the thrid script.

[Nianna Telmnar]

This is the scene in Moria where Gandalf is defending the bridge. This is also a blatent rip off of Monty Python. Anyway, here it is.

Gandalf: You shall not pass! You must answer me these questions three, ere the other side you see...
Balrog: What?
Gandalf: What is your name?
Balrog: Balrog of Moria.
Gandalf: What is your quest?
Balrog: I seek the ring, and to destroy you and your followers.
Gandalf: Now for your final question...What is your favorite color?
Balrog: Umm...black?
Gandalf: Wrong answer!
Balrog: NO! Wait! I meant pink! I meant AHHHHH! *tossed into bottemless chasm by Gandalf*
Gandalf: *turns to fellowship* He chose...poorly.


Sorry all, but I am on cold medicine and this is the best I could do right now...

[Skippy the Nazgul]

Legolas and Gimili stand looking at Aragorn, they have stopped traveling for the night to set up camp and eat.

Aragorn: What'll you have?

Gimili: What are your specials?

Aragorn: Well we've got eggs, bacon and cram - sausage, eggs, bacon and cram - cram, sausage, eggs and cram - cram, cram, cram, leeks, cram, cram, and cram - cram, cram, eggs, and cram - cram, cram, cram, sausage, cram, and cram - or a nice steak tartar with pate and some white wine on the side.
Legolas: But I don't like Cram.

Aragorn: Well there's sausage, bacon, eggs, and cram, that hasn't got much cram in it.

Legolas: But I don't want any cram.

Gimili: Why don't you get the cram, sausage, eggs, and cram.

Legolas: BUT I DON'T LIKE CRAM.

Gimili: Calm down. I'll have your cram, I love it. Right?

Legolas nods his head.

Gimili: so that's cram, sausage, eggs and cram for him, and I'll have the cram, cram, cram, leeks, cram, cram, and cram.

Aragorn: We're all out of leeks.

Gimili: Well can you sub cram for the leeks?

Aragorn: you mean you want cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, and cram?

Gimili: that's right!! Let's eat!!

Yeah, Monty Python. Gotta love the Python.

[-Imrahil-]

I liked the cartoon NazgulNumberTen

[Garen LiLorian]

*Frodo rolls down Caradhras. Boromir picks up the Ring. Poof! Poof!*
Angel; You're not just going to keep the ring, are you?
Boromir; My shoulder angel.
Devil; Don't listen to that guy, he's trying to lead you down the path of righteousness. I'm gonna lead you down the path that ROCKS!!! *pumps little fist in the air*
Angel; Oh, come off it.
Devil; You come off it.
Angel; You.
Devil; You infinity.
Angel; Grrrr..
Devil; Listen up, Big Guy, I got three good reasons why you oughta just waaaaalk away. Reason number one. Look at that guy. Got his little sissy stringy thing.
Angel; We've been through this, it's a harp.
Devil; Right... That's a harp..., and that's a dress.
Angel; Robe!
Devil; Reason number two. Look what I can do. *does one handed hanstand pushups* hehehe!
Boromir; Wait a minute. What does that have to do with-
Angel; No, no, he's got a point.
Boromir; Ok. You guys are kinda confusing me, so, uh, begone! Or however I get rid of you...
Both; That'll work.

Apologies to whoever mentioned this earlier. Emperor's New Groove, LOL!!

[bombur]

Skippy the Nazgul... Shame on you... you forgot something essential.

The good old Lord of the rings cartoons Boromir with his funny horned helmet ought to be sitting in the corner interrupting every now and then the discussion with a theme song:

"Cram cram cram cram cram cram cram cram cram cram cram!"

smilies/rolleyes.gif

[Skippy the Nazgul]

I didn't quite know how to fit in the chanters since this was suppose to take place once Gimili, Legolas, and Aragorn were on there own. But I guess if took place while the fellowship was still together, then Boromir and Gandalf would be the back up chanters.

[VanimaEdhel]

Have I already said, "Two words...Jack...Black?" If not, then "Jack...Black!" Council scene...MTV Movie Awards...you know...especially those of you with the Extended Version DVD...

Aragorn, later in life. He has grown cranky. The watch calls that it is 12 a.m. An apparition appears.
Apparition: Aaaaragorn...Aaaaragorn!
Aragorn: Bah! Who goes there, dammit? I'm trying to sleep!
Apparition: I am the ghost of Middle Earth past. Woooooooooo!
Aragorn: Eh, buzz off...
Apparition: But I am heeeere to shoooow yoooouuuu...
*Aragorn takes Narsil down from where he keeps it and kills the Apparition, then calmly goes back to bed*

So much for "A Christmas Carol: LotR Style"!

Okay, that was really, really lame...I'm sorry, I really am...

[Aragorn_The_King]

Ok, I'll give it a try.
They are all on the bridge in Moria and Gandalf is hanging off the edge.

Gandalf: I can't fly you fools
Aragorn: You'r supposed to fall
Gandalf: WHAT???
Aragorn: Thats what JRRT and PJ want.
Gandalf: I don't give--
*Gandalf jumps up and starts walking out of the mountain with the fellowship. Aragorn shrugs*
Head ork at gate pops out
Ork: Ok I gotta know who the leader is before I let you pass.
Gandalf and Aragorn: I am!
Aragorn: Now wait a second Gandalf Greyham Just because you sissied out dosn't meen your still leading us, It is MY turn!!!!
Gandalf: NO
Aragorn: Yes
Gandalf: No
*Aragorn picks gandalf up throws him off bridge and runs back*
Aragorn: I am
Ork: Now I don't like you very much, peple who kill there friends aren't my type.
*Ork kills Aragorn*
Ork: OK now whos the leader?
*everyone starts shouting*
Frodo: I will lead the fellowship, though I know not the way!

[VanimaEdhel]

Frodo: I will lead the fellowship, though I know not the way!


*Everyone points*
Everyone in unison: THAT WAY!

Just to go back to what someone else already said and connect it...

[Merry_Pippin_Frodo_Sam]

YO!
thanks for that!
*shoulder angels*
i couldn't put it to words!
lol

*pause*
AH!!! mind blank!

(i'll edit l8r!)

OOOOO i'm so proud of myself!! i'm numero 100
for posting this.... 101 HAS TO BE HILARIOUS.... or don't bother posting!

smilies/wink.gif
j/k

[ December 14, 2002: Message edited by: Merry_Pippin_Frodo_Sam ]

[VanimaEdhel]

*The Fellowship is up on the hill. Boromir is teaching the Hobbits how to swordfight, etc.*
Legolas: *Jumps onto the rock and starts singing softly* Baby she's nothing 'less she can *throws out his arms and belts out* RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE the big yellow bus it's still DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARK And the radio barks only...BEATLES SONGS from A to Z...as she rides in her big yellow bus...with me...
*Everyone stops to look at him, puzzled*
Legolas: Erm...Seven Nations...know them?
*Everyone remains silent*
Legolas: Oh...never mind...*turns to the rock* I'M KING OF THE WORLD! WOOOOOOO!! *turns back* Better?
*Everyone raises one eyebrow in unison*
Legolas: "Titanic"...come on! You guys had to see it!
*Everyone continues to stare*
Legolas: All right, all right, have it your way. *clears his throat and turns again* Crebain from Duneland!
*Everyone gives a satisfied smile before scattering and taking cover except for Legolas who continues to stand there.*
Legolas: *muttering* Don't know Seven Nations...come on...everyone should know them...bah...
*The crows come and carry him off*
Legolas: *still muttering* I can't believe it...you know, I really can't...

*Was listening to Seven Nations when I wrote that*

*The Fellowship arrives at the gates of Moira*
Frodo: What does that say? Does it say "Speak friend and enter"? I think it does...
Gandalf: Bah! They changed it! It's another riddle...it says "Knock knock"
Everyone: Who's there?
*The door changes*
Gandalf: "Interrupting Cow"
Everyone: Interrupting cow wh-
Gandalf: MOOOOOOO! Haha! Got you guys! Nah, you were right Frodo, it says "Speak friend and Enter".

*The Fellowship is watching Gandalf fall*
Gandalf: Fly you fools! *Drops*
Legolas: Hey! Good use of alliteration, dude! Very poetic...hmmm...maybe a song..."I believe I can fly...I believe I can touch the sky...I think about it every night and day...spread my wings and fly away...I believe I can soar...I see me running through that open dooooooor...I believe...I can flyyyyy!"
*Everyone stares at him*
Legolas: It'll be a hit someday! I'm telling you!
*Everyone shakes their heads*
LATER
*As Gandalf is being carried by Gwaihir he hears singing*
Gwaihir: I believe I can fly...I believe I can touch the sky...I think about it...
Gandalf: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*They fly over Gimli, Aragorn and Legolas*
Legolas: *singing* "I am beautiful no matter what they say...Words can't bring me down...I am beautiful in every single way...Yes, words can't bring me down...So don't you bring me down today..."
*Everyone stares at him*
Legolas: Sorry! Sheesh! *hears Gwaihir* SEE? I TOLD you it'd be big! I told you I told you! *He begins to run and frolic*
Gimli: Can we kill him now?
Aragorn: Let's...
*They begin chasing Legolas and that is really how they covered so much ground: they really didn't care about Merry and Pippin...*

[Merry_Pippin_Frodo_Sam]

good enough.

[purplefluffychainsaw]

Gandalf is falling off the bridge:
I cannot fly you fools.
Sorry if some1 has already done it but I couldn't see coz of the school blocking system smilies/evil.gif

[Melephelwen]

Hehe... They´re good!!
I hope you can keep making something up! 'Cause unfortunately I'm really bad at these things smilies/frown.gif smilies/tongue.gif

[WhiterShadeofPale]

From the scene at the Prancing Ponies where Frodo puts on the ring and sees the "eye"

Frodo: ::upon seeing the eye:: "No! Noooo!"
Eye: ::coming closer::
Frodo: ::trying to pul ring off, but to no avail::
Eye: ::closer:: : smilies/evil.gif laughter as it whispers:: "CLOSER......clossssser!"
Frodo: ::as ring is right in front of him:: : smilies/tongue.gifulls out cigar and does Grocho Marx impersonation:: "If you come near me any closer, I'll be in back of ya!"

[VanimaEdhel]

Happy first post, Elf! Glad it was a happy, funny one! *laughs*

[Samwise_Gamgee]

All of those are funny smilies/biggrin.gif

[AddictedtoRumil]

*The fellowship walking up Caradras*

*Legolas is limping over and his back is in pain*

Aragorn: "Legolas what do you keep in that backpack of yours exactly?"

Legolas: "Oh here have a look." *Hands the bookbag to Aragorn* "..Ain't it beautiful?"

Aragorn: "What the heck?!! 50 bottles of Herbal Essences shampoo!! Legolas i thought you of all people would pack something useful! you can live without that!!"

Legolas: "I can't live without the organic experience!"

Aragorn: ??

Legolas: *sings* "I've got the urge!"

Aragorn: Yeah whatever.

(that was lame i know but it made me laugh lol!)

[Nianna Telmnar]

*TTT at Helm's Deep*
Aragorn and Legolas stand peering into the darkness awaiting the oncoming army. Lightning flashes to reveal thousands upon thousands of fighting Uruk-hi marching towards them.
Legolas: Your friends are with you Aragorn.
*looks around*
Legolas: Aragorn?
*nearby elf soldier taps Legolas on shoulder and points to Aragorn trying to sneak out the secret door*
Legolas: Aragorn! Come back here! *runs and grabs Aragorn about the waist and drags him back!
Aragorn: Noooo! Put me down! We're all gonna die! Let me go!
*Legolas smacks him across the face*
Aragorn: heh,heh, um...right. thanks, i needed that
*Aragorn rejoins Legolas at the front. This time surronded on all sides by glaring soldiers*

weak, i know, but cmon. you know that's what he really wanted to do! *wink* lol everyone.

[Helkahothion]

Here is my tribute:

At the Mirror of Galadriel.

Galadriel:Will you look into the mirror?
Frodo:What will I see?
Galadriel:It's a MIRROR!!!!! You stupid idiot what do you think you will see. Yourself ofcaurse.
---------------------------------------------
In Mordor at the bridge of Kh?zad-D?m

Gimli:No one tosses a Dwarf.
Boromir:Oh yeah?! Well I do you sawed off runt!!!!
*pick's up Gimli and trows him to the other site*
---------------------------------------------In Mordor at the bridge of Kh?zad-D?m when Gimli jumps and Legolas grabs his beard to save him.

Gimli: Not the beard!!!!!
Legolas:Okay suite youself.
*Legolas let's go of Gimli's beard and Gimli falls into the shadow*
---------------------------------------------
At the coucel of Elrond.

Elrond:The ring must be destroyed.
Gimli:Then what are we waiting for?
*Grabs an axe and strikes at the rings. Explosion and Gimli falls on the ground.
Elrond:The ring can not be.......
*Sudden silence and all look at the rings that lies pulverised on the rock.
Elrond:Well that was a little bit easyer then I expected.
---------------------------------------------

Oh and people don't say they are not funny because they all are so just don't give those (I know not funny cause I was tired) addings because they are funny!!!!!!!!

[ December 20, 2002: Message edited by: Helkahothion ]
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ST1300 (http://www.honda-wiki.org/wiki/Honda_ST1300)

[Nianna Telmnar]

Alright, then try this one...
*beg. of TTT when Aragorn, Legolas, & Gimli are talking with Eomer and his riders for the first time.*
Eomer:Then there is a Lady in the Golden Wood as the tales say...But if you have her favour then you are also net-weavers and sorcerers maybe.
*cut off as hit by flying tackle of Gimli*

Gimli: You take that back! *they proceed to role around on the ground*

Eomer: *who is not faring well* Hey! someone get this oaf off me! *is ignored by other riders who are to busy laughing to notice*

Gimli: Say she's the prettist! Say it!

Eomer: I will no..OW! Hey, no biting!
*scuffle continues untill Eomer finally gives in*

Eomer: FINE! THE LADY OF THE GOLDEN WOOD IS THE PRETTIEST! NOW GET OFF ME!!
*Gimli promptly stands up and rejoins Legolas and Aragon who are bent over laughing.*

Eomer: *stands up rubbing his shoulder where Gimli bit him. he mutturs somthing like "stupid dwarves" under his breath*

Eomer: *to other riders* None of this ever happened understand?

Riders: *snicker* sure thing boss, *snicker, snicker*


hehe, how'd ya like that one?

[Alphaelin]

How about these, from the FOTR movie?

Long shot of Fellowship marching along the mountains. The music comes up...and they begin singing, "The hills are alive, With the sound or O-orcs..."

Or

The close-up of the Balrog giving that huge roar. There is a moment of silence, then Gandalf politely offers, "Altoid?"

[Garen LiLorian]

Or, from TTT movie,
*Legolas giving the Evenstar to Aragorn, after he comes back.*
Aragorn; "Oh. An Elven love-jewel. Uh... Really, Legolas, I'm... touched, but you see, I'm... straight."

*Theoden goes to help out at the gate."
Theoden; Charge!!! *gets poked in the shoulder* Run away!!! Run away!!!

[Helkahothion]

Galadriel and Frodo stand by the mirror.
Galadriel: You are a ringbearer Frodo, To bear a ring of power is to be alone.
Frodo:Yeah right, just look at you:you are married, you have children, grandchildren and you wear a ring of power. So don't tell me that I have to be alone you hypocrite!!!
*Frodo starts sobbing and run's a way*
---------------------------------------------
At the councel of Elrond.
Legolas:He is Aragorn son of Arathorn and he...
Boromir:Aragorn Shmaragorn, who give's a sh*t?
Aragorn grab's his sword, and slashes Boromir's head of. He calmy park's his butt in his chair and say's:I never liked that guy anyway.
Everyone:Yeah your right he was a anoying little man.

[ December 23, 2002: Message edited by: Helkahothion ]
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Ford cd4e transmission (http://www.ford-wiki.com/wiki/Ford_CD4E_transmission)

[VanimaEdhel]

WARNING: The Two Towers spoilers in the following post. If you haven't seen it, skip it!

I just had this mental image of Brego accidentally stepping on Aragorn in The Two Towers...

Aaaand:
*Aragorn is riding along, still weak on Brego (remember?) and he sees the Uruk-Hai coming.*
Aragorn: *facepalms* Oi vey!

That's actually kind of what I did there, but...I pictured him doing it.

None of those are funny, but oh well...lol

[Kira]

Hey new to the Barrow-Downs... I've been lurking for a couple of months and this seems like good a thread to come out of the shadows on soooo......

A little Simarillion hummor...

~The First music~
Iluvatar: *drums his fingers on the arms of his seats as Melkor rocks out with five shades*

Melkor: *realizes he's being watched and nudges the singing shade next to him* Ummmm... guys? Why don't we do this again in about ten ages?

Shade of Mick Jagger: Sure thing man.

............ and that's it for now.

[Horse-Maiden of the Shire]

k, i apologize if i took anybodys statement.
In the Prancing Pony:
Sam: that fellows done nohting but stare at you since we've arrived.
Frodo looks towards Strider, Strider winks and makes a kiss with his mouth
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This one will suk, i think
at the walls of Moria
Gandalf: i used to know every spell in every tongue of middle-earth (not sure about the wording)
Pippin walks up to the walls
Pippin: Bibbity Bobbity Boo!!
The doors open
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
they left the prancing pony
Sam: But where is he taking us?
Strider: To Never-Never Land, Master Gamgee.
Strider flies away into the sunset
okay that was pretty stupid
PIPPIN RULES

[Melephelwen]

Weee! I made my own! I made my own! Didn't think I could - and it's probably really bad, but here you go: smilies/wink.gif

BRIDGE OF KHAZAD-DÛM

Gandalf: Do not take me for some conjurer of cheap tricks!
Balrog: Psst! It's the wrong line!
Gandalf: Huh?
Balrog: You're about to tell me I can't pass, and then I fall down and pull you with me.
Gandalf: Sleep Caradhras, be still, lie still -
Frodo: (interrupting) Gandaaaaalf! (In the sort of "Honestly!"-way)
Aragorn: You're supposed to say something about fire and Anor and Udûn and stuff like that. Tell him not to pass you, you know.
Gandalf: Oh, you mean the usual crap about the fires of Mount Doom, I say in every second scene?
Balrog: (May Eru save us!) Now just tell them to run away!
Gandalf: Er... run away?
Balrog grabs Gandalf and jumps into the chasm.
Fellowship runs off.

[Helkahothion]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA,

That sh*t's funneh!!!!!!!!

Greetings,

ANuion
________
Mercedes-Benz Bionic Specifications (http://www.mercedes-wiki.com/wiki/Mercedes-Benz_Bionic)

[VanimaEdhel]

Shade of Mick Jagger: Sure thing man.

Are you suggesting that Mick Jagger was turned by Melkor? And that he's evil? If so: I can't talk to you ever again...sad that I'm only 15 and I'm saying that...

[Helkahothion]

Dear Vanima,

YOUR 15????!!!!!!! smilies/eek.gif

I tought you where like Maikadilwen's age or something. Truely, you are not 15, for I am and you are a lot smarter than me.

Greetings,

Anuion
________
CHEVROLET GPIX CONCEPT SPECIFICATIONS (http://www.chevy-wiki.com/wiki/Chevrolet_GPiX_Concept)

[Galenfea of Mirkwood.]

Gimli: I will be dead, before I see the ring in the hands of an elf!!
Legolas: Okay. (shoots him with an arrow) Problem solved.
That is so funny!

[Helkahothion]

Dear Galenfea,

Why thank you for your credit. It always nice if someone likes your work.

Greetings,

Anuion
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DODGE VIPER E85 (http://www.dodge-wiki.com/wiki/Dodge_Viper_E85)

[Sindafalathiel]

During the battle scene in Moria, Aragorn finishes off an orc, then stops all of a sudden:
Aragorn - /group DING! Level 10!
Then he resumes fighting as the rest of the fellowship answer him with congratz and congratulations....
Everquest, I presume?

[Blue Elf]

Here's an attempt...it isn't that funny, but I tried!!

Gandalf: You shall not pass!

Balrog: Lookie here mister, I'm sorry I'm a nickel off of the tool both fee, but please let me pass!! If I lose my job...!!

Gandalf: What's the job? To kill someone, I'll warrant.

Balrog: Weeell, yes....b-but, I have.....um....a wife and three kids at home!!

[Helkahothion]

Dear Blue Elv,

Not funny you say? It's damn funny. I read it with a friend of mine and we both laughed. So stop saying your not funny. smilies/evil.gif

Greetings,

Anuion
________
Volcano Digital Vaporizer (http://vaporizers.net/volcano-vaporizer)

[Blue Elf]

Thanks Anioun (sp?)
I have a bad case of low self esteem...

(Nazgul is riding his winged steed, which has no name, so I shall call it a Foozle)

Foozle: *screeches loudly*
Nazgul: Geez!! I know the point is to scare everyone, but this hurts my ears!!

(in the scene in which Eowyn faces the Nazgul, and sorry that the lines are kind of off)
Nazgul: No man can kill me!!
Eowyn: Ha, I'm a girl!! (A/N yeah, I forgot that line completely)
(everyone on the battlefield): Woohoo!! Chick on the battlefield!!

(Gandalf is riding Gwaihir)
Gandalf: Wait, Gwaihir, turn back!! I forgot my staff!!

Okay, this next one isn't funny reading it, but if you imagine it:
(Winged Nazgul. The Nazgul falls off his winged steed. One Nazgul less to worry about)

[Galenfea of Mirkwood.]

Legolas fires an arrow at an orc. He not only misses but the arrow ricochets round and hits Legolas/Aragorn in the backside.

(I have been watching too much Shrek)

[Lindril Arvilya]

Foozle: *screeches loudly*
Nazgul: Geez!! I know the point is to scare everyone, but this hurts my ears!!

Actually, I thought about that, and I'm going to change it a bit for my own thing.

Foozle: *screeches loudly*
Everybody within hearing distance: *cringes and shakes*
*The Nazgul grins and takes off his hood, revealing a pair of fluffy pink earmuffs*

[Helkahothion]

Dear Blue elf,

(in the scene in which Eowyn faces the Nazgul, and sorry that the lines are kind of off)
Nazgul: No man can kill me!!
Eowyn: Ha, I'm a girl!! (A/N yeah, I forgot that line completely)
(everyone on the battlefield): Woohoo!! Chick on the battlefield!!

Hahahahaha funny crap!


Hm can't think of anything right now. Be back later.

Greetings,

Anuion
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Yamaha xs eleven history (http://www.yamaha-tech.com/wiki/Yamaha_XS_Eleven)

[Horse-Maiden of the Shire]

Bwa ha ha ha!!! These are really funny!
At the stairs when Frodo and Aragorn are wobbling around, the Balrog appears.
Frodo: NOOO! Aragorn, what will we do??
Aragorn picks up Frodo by his shirt.
Aragorn: Yoo-hoo! Balrog! What's this? You want it?
Balrog starts panting and nods.
Aragorn: Okay...SIT! Lie down....roll over!
The Balrog rolls into the chasm.
Aragorn and Frodo escape.
Aragorn: Mwahahahahahaha... smilies/evil.gif

[Helkahothion]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAAAAHAHA,

Cool one Horse Maiden. Picture that. The Balrog roling over in the chasm. That would have made things a lot easier.

Greetings,

Anuion
________
MERCEDES-BENZ M104 ENGINE (http://www.mercedes-wiki.com/wiki/Mercedes-Benz_M104_engine)

[Blue Elf]

YAY!! So glad everyone likes what I wrote.

Nazgul with pink fluffy earmuffs?? AAH!!!

Poor Balrog...rolling off a cliff...and I was planning to keep him as a friend.

Okay, my friend actually wrote this one, but here it is anyhow...

Sam is looking in the mirror.
Galadriel: What do you see?
Sam: OH NO! THE SHIRE! WHAT'S HAPPENING?
Sam (thinks): All I see is some really gross looking water and a couple of dead insects. But I'd feel like a fool to say that! - Frodo saw all that stuff
Frodo (thinks): Wow, that mirror was a sham! I want my money back! All I saw was my reflection... not that it's not pretty, of course....

I love that one...but give her credit not me!! (when I remember her username...)

[Pennthangeil]

Yall, these are so flipppin funny. Here is my sad attempt:

On the feild when The Riders of Rohan give Aragorn and Legolas a horse.

Gimli: You'll never see me on a horse.

Eomer: Oh- wait -we have aaaaaaa [pause] Shetland Pony!

Gimli: Oh Joy!!!

[Helkahothion]

HAhahahahahahahaha,

Oh joy. Picture that. All those cool guy's on large horses and a little guy with a beard in the back on a little pony.

Love that one.

Greetings,

Anuion
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Subaru exiga specifications (http://www.toyota-wiki.com/wiki/Subaru_Exiga)

[Pennthangeil]

thanx