101 things LOTR's characters were really thinking.

[Laurelin]

This topic is about wierd things you think the LOTR's characters were really thinking in parts of the movie and the book's.

[Nevfeniel]

This looks like fun!
Gimli: I wonder if Legolas would be mad if I cut his hair in his sleep. . . smilies/evil.gif
Saruman: Hmmm. . . should I get a manicure?
*Pippin: I wish people would stop thinking I'm so stupid. I happen to be a very intelligent- ooh! A bunny!
Aragorn: Hmm. Herbal Essences or Suave?
Boromir: Nah, Frodo wouldn't give me the ring.
*Sam: I don't think Gandalf really knows where he's going.

The ones with *'s are my favorites.

[ September 22, 2002: Message edited by: Nevfeniel ]

[Elven Mistress]

lol Nevfeniel! (sowwy if i spelt your name wrong...) I loved them!!!

Okay...here goes my pathetic tries...(*means what they're thinking*

Aragorn: "But to disappear entirely - that is a rare gift" *maybe he can teach me...*

Gandalf: "Some men that live deserve death. Some men that die deserve life. Can you give it to them, Frodo?" *Frodo - yes...*

That's all i can think of at the time...

[Isilya]

Aragorn: "I would have gone with you into the very depths of Mordor" *But I'm so much more attracted to Merry and Pippin*

[Elenna]

Here's mine.

Saruman: You shall taste MAN FLESH!!!
Lurtz: *But I was thinking of going veggie...*

Gimli: And I suppose you think you're the one to do it.
Legolas: *Actually, I'd rather stay home and do my hair. Why don't you take it, you idiotic midget?*

[Kithrèna Greenarrow Legolas]

idiotic midget!! I LOVE IT!!!

Legolas: *Wile aiming bow Gimli bends over* Hmmm.....Bullseye or bad guy....

Frodo: I wonder how much a pair of riser shoues would cost...

Sowy, early and I cant think of much and the darng spacebar on this keyboard is driveing Me mad!

[Nevfeniel]

HAHAHAHAHA HA! Hmmm.....Bullseye or bad guy.... That's hillarious! Heehee. smilies/biggrin.gif

[Kithrèna Greenarrow Legolas]

Thag you verry butch!!!
I coulden't think of a name and I just types "Bullseye"... smilies/biggrin.gif I love being <Me sometimes smilies/biggrin.gif

Gandalf: *Thinking in Moria* Reminder to self, get new lighted staff...Light bulb in this ones going out....

[Keeper of the Feet of Melkor]

While Sam is *trying* to swim to Frodo's Boat

Frodo- Hmm...Nobody's around, maybe I could just paddle away...Damn! Then who'd give me a piggy-back ride up mount doom.

[ September 23, 2002: Message edited by: Keeper of the Feet of Melkor ]

[Susan Delgado]

Boromir: Why does everyone dislike me so? I only want the Ring cause it goes with my outfit...

Pippin: (about Gandalf, in many places) Jerk

[charly]

Eowyn(about Aragorn): GOD! What kind of a guy is that?Look at his hair... GROSS!!
Sam: "Mr. Frodo, Mr. Frodo" Frodo*not YOU again!*
Gimli: "And I suppose you think you´re the one to do it."Legolas: *Yeah! But no-one trusts me. No-one likes me. Booohooooooooo*
Saruman: I don´t think I really want to be evil...
Sauron: God! Keep that ring you damb hobbit! I have a cool NECKLACE of power!

[Kithrèna Greenarrow Legolas]

Aragorn: *Wile he's sitting and thinking wile every1s asleep* I wonder what I should get the fellowship for X-mas....Well, I know Gimli wants the Beard shaper 500 kit...Legolas? A pair of tights like in that robbin hood take-off....Hmm...What to get for Frodo...

[Elenna]

Gandalf: Does gray really go with my skin tone? Nah - it makes me look fat. Let's go with WHITE!

Saruman: White makes me look washed out...I know! I'll give my old robes to Gandalf!

[Nevfeniel]

Frodo (while Sam is running out to the river): Geez, not him again. I just can't seem to get rid of this guy. Maybe if I ignore him, he'll go away. Oh great, he's trying to make me all guilty by drowning. Can't he take a hint?

[Willowberry_Firnsarnwen]

Heavens you're all so funny! Now, *cracks her knuckles* I'll take a whack at it! *Grins,she just loves that word, 'whack'!!!*

Gandalf:Run you fools! No! Wait! Don't leeeave meee!!!

Frodo as he is about to set the Ring on the platform at Elrond's council;
Frodo looks up to see Elrond and the council staring at him,guessing that he's supposed to show them the ring he walks up and sets it on the platform,sitting back down he frowns,thinking "Just as I got a manicure that'd go with it!"


Gimli sits in the council staring at Legolas as he picks his nose behind his arm. Gimli,looks at the elf's braids and whistles,thinking "Wow! Look at that handy-work! That's intricite braiding that there is! I wonder if he'll show me how to do that..."

Huf! There,they're quite lame really, *sigh* Ah well, my imagination is drained at the moment,do not worry,I shall return! smilies/wink.gif
Now watch ,as soon as I post this another one will come to me...Conspiracies,they're everywhere..

~Willowberry~

[Kithrèna Greenarrow Legolas]

LAME MY POINTY EARS!!! *Everyone looks strange at her* Its a saying of Mine...
Those wher goooodd!!
You have a think about wack, i have one about splat!

Boromir: I wonder if I should die My hair dark red...

[Willowberry_Firnsarnwen]

Pointy ears,whack,splat....YOU'RE JUST LIKE MEEEEEE!!!!! *Does her happy dance,overjoyed that she found another person like her,which,of course,is a goood thing smilies/biggrin.gif **

Boromir as the canoe bearing his body slips over the edge of the waterfall:

Waaaaaait a minute..What do they think they are doing?! I'm not dead you idiots! Uh-oh...Big waterfall,me,in a boat,with major blood loss...Ah well,at least they'll have my halo and wings waiting for me.

(Don't bet on it Bormir..MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! smilies/evil.gif smilies/evil.gif smilies/evil.gif smilies/evil.gif smilies/evil.gif

*takes a deep breath*
Ok,there,over the revenge thing..anywho..

~Willowberry~

[Kithrèna Greenarrow Legolas]

Glad to know I'm not the only one like Me smilies/biggrin.gif

Boromir: I wonder if Legolas would share his fangirls for a wile...

I allways felt so sorry for poor Boromir...He deserved better in My opinion...Oh well *Waves a falg saying "you'll be in My heart, Boromir"*

Mesa looooOOOoony...

Why is all my stuff lame??? smilies/frown.gif

[ September 24, 2002: Message edited by: Kithrèna Greenarrow Legolas ]

[ElanorGamgee]

Fatty Bolger: I wish these four jerks would hit the road. You think you've got enough on your plate there, Pippin?

Éowyn: Next time I'm in charge of Rohan I'm carting Uncle Théoden off to the looney bin.

Sam: Grey Havens? What is that, some sort of retirement home? Well, they're all old enough...

[Rose Cotton]

*these star things represent when someone is thinking*

At the very end of the movie:
Frodo: Sam. I'm glad your with me.
Sam: *Ya, well I'm not. I want to go home! WAAAAAA!*

[DarkRose]

You guys are all hilarious! smilies/biggrin.gif I'll have a go.

------

[[As Gimli and Legolas arrive upon the scene, watching Aragorn kiss a dying Boromir on the forehead]]

Gimli: *ARG, get a room already!!*

------

[[As Sam runs, yelling, along the beach after Frodo as he rows away in a boat]]

Frodo: *My, you are such a clingy fellow!*

------

[[When Gandalf and Bilbo embrace and chat]]

Bilbo: "Gandalf!"

Gandalf: "You haven't aged a day." *You look like crap.*

------

[[As Merry, Pippin, and Sam are merely thrown aside by the Nazgul on Weathertop]]

Frodo: *Worthless gits.*

[Rose Cotton]

At Boromir's death:
Boromir:...my brother, my captin, my king.
Aragon: *did you hear that? he called me king! I think he deserves a kiss*

On top of Caradras when Frodo falls over and the ring is picked up by Boromir:
Aragon: Boromir! Give Frodo the ring. *actually, go ahead Boromir make a run for it. I'll hold everyone else off with my sword*

When Arwen arrives to get Frodo:
Arwen: What's this? A Ranger caught off his guard? *if I could only slay him now, then I could hook up with Legolas*

Later in that scene:
Arwen: I do not fear them.
Aragon: *You know if those Ringwraiths kill her I could hook up with Eowyn*

At Bilbo's party when he disapears
Frodo: *YES! Bag End is MINE!*

[Alatariel]

Sam: You've been in the Farmer Maggot's crops again! *mmmm, carrots, lettuces, potatoes... yuuummmmyyyy....*
At the Grey Havens...
Sam: *good riddance!*

Hmm, I seem to be having a Sam day today!

Ah! The Balrog: *well I was only trying to make friends... SOB!*

[ September 25, 2002: Message edited by: Alatàriel ]

[Rose Cotton]

At Bilbo's party:
Frodo pushes Sam into Rose
Rose:*ew! I can't belive I'm dancing with such a loser*

[VanimaEdhel]

Gollum: These hobbitses smell funny...

Galadriel: Hey! That Legolas kid is, like, sooooooo hot! Fer sure!

Gimli: Little do they know, I'm a woman!
(I've always had my theory that Gimli was a woman, Legolas found out, and they fell in love...my friends don't like that idea too much...)

Arwen: Hmmm...Faramir's kinda hot...what's he got that Aragorn doesn't, anyway?

Gandalf: *as he's falling* Hmmm...I want...ICE CREAM!

Thorondor: Visiting the hobbits a bit too much, aren't we Mithrandir...oof! uh! Must...fly...higher...

Grima Wormtongue: Awww! A puppy! I want a puppy! It's so cuuuuuuuuuuute!

Denethor: Actually, Faramir's cooler than Boromir ever was...why'd I say I wished he was dead? *smacks himself on the forehead each time he says:* STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!

[Ransom]

Arwen: What's this? A ranger caught off his guard?

Aragorn-*!*@&#(!)(@*#&@*

---------------

Arwen-Come and claim him if you can.

Ringwraths-*BRING IT ON!*

---------------

Gandalf when facing Balrog-Shoot! Forgot my sunscreen.

---------------

Balrog: Why do these @#*&@* people keep waking me up!

[Nevfeniel]

Gollum: These hobbitses smell funny... LOL, I can imagine that! smilies/biggrin.gif http://www.ezboard.com/intl/aenglish/images/emoticons/laugh.gif http://www.ezboard.com/intl/aenglish/images/emoticons/roll.gif

[VanimaEdhel]

Eowyn: Shame on you if you fool me once, shame on me if you fool me twice, you been a pretty hard case to crack...I mean...NO! It's stuck in my head again!
(Courtesy of LeAnn Rimes...that darn song keeps getting stuck in MY head)

Glorfindel: Elbereth Gilthoniel! Why am I even SAVING this stupid Halfling? I'm just going to be cut from the movie!

Arwen: Haha...got your part, Glorfindel. Girl power!
(No, Arwen: I'm a girl too, but get off the screen: I wanna see Glorfindel)

Frodo: Muahahaha: they only think I desroyed the ring...it's really right here in ours pocketses!
(Then GWB gets a hold of it, hence the "Tom Bombadil" thread on this forum)

Legolas: Let's do the time warp again! Doo-doo-doo...Let's do the time warp again!

Legolas: We're men...we're men in tights...we roam around the forest looking for fights...we're men...we're men in ti-iiiights...

Legolas: Hmmm...are they Orcs? Judging by the arrows, I'm not so sure now...why did I open my big mouth and say "yrch"...if it isn't Orcs, they're going to hate me...

Sam: *seeing Rosie* How YOU doin'?
(Go Joey Tribbiani!)

Gimli: Gah! Why did I have to be clausterphobic...aaaaah: walls...closing...in...

Elrond: Ow...this crown's too tight...and Arwen can do better. What does she see in Aragorn? He's nothing but trouble...gah: if only her mother were here...

Eowyn: *looks at her reflection* Aaaah! A Mary-Sue! Oh wait: no: that's just me in the movie...

Faramir: *sings "Family Portrait" by Pink to himself* (You know:
"...Daddy please stop yellin, I can’t stand the sound
Make mama stop cryin, cuz I need you around
My mama she loves you, no matter what she says its true
I know that she hurts you, but remember I love you, too..."etc.)

[Kithrèna Greenarrow Legolas]

Legolas: We're men...we're men in tights...we roam around the forest looking for fights...we're men...we're men in ti-iiiights...

BWAHAHAHA!!!! I'VE HAD THAT IMAGE STUCK IN MY HEAD FOR ZEE LAST WEEK!!!

**as Elronds saying "The fellowship shall be" Or whatever it is he says...I FOROGT!!**

Legolas&Aragorn: I do wish he'd hurry up...THIS WEDGYS KILLING ME!!!!

Lame...Sorry.

[Alatariel]

On the River Anduin
Aragorn looks back to see the log with eyes...
*A log with eyes?! I really am losing it...*

Boromir: They have a cave troll! *Wow, I'll have to add it to my strange-Middle-Earth-creature-spotting list... ooh, it's a really rare one...*

[Rose Cotton]

In the movie after Saruman talks to Sauron through the Palantir.

Saruman: Man is it cold in here.

Doesn't it look like he's cold in the movie?

[Laurelin]

smilies/biggrin.gif you are great at this, I wish I could think up some good ones like you guys.

Oh wait I can!!!

Aragorn standing over Boromir:Boromir: The little ones they got them. Aragorn: Ok you need a breathmint or something cause your breath STINKS!!!!!!!!


smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif

[Brinniel]

Eowyn: *looks at her reflection* Aaaah! A Mary-Sue! Oh wait: no: that's just me in the movie...
ROFL!!!! That was hilarious! These are all so funny!

[Catherine]

Legolas(sittin next to aragorn looks at and thinks)-man he really does smell, i wonder when the last time he took a bath?

[NazgulNumberTen]

legolas: i can't deny my feelings for gimli...

[Diamond18]

Pippin: (about Gandalf, in many places) Jerk

Hahaha, right on, Susan. I think that all the time.

Hmmm-dilly-dum...now for my ideas:

Boromir: "There is evil there that does not sleep"
*It's been a life-long phobia of mine to be killed by a group of insomniacs*

Merry: "That thing was looking for something. Frodo?"
Frodo: *Oh, ya think?*

[Alatariel]

(When the hobbits are running away from the Black Riders at the Buckleberry Ferry)
Merry & Sam: Run Frodo! Jump! Faster! Juuump!
Pippin: *Hey, wouldn't it be funny if Frodo fell in the water? Then he'd be all wet, tee hee hee!*

[Brinniel]

When Frodo looks down at the ring in his hand: *Geez, my hands are dirty! When did I last wash them? And I really need to stop biting my nails!*

Pippin on the way to Minas Tirith: *Are we ever gonna stop? I REALLY hafta go to the bathroom!*

[Merry_Pippin_Frodo_Sam]

Legolas:* oooh! a black spotted orc! that's one more for exotic orc bingo! I AM LUVIN THIS!
(with apologies to "The Emperor's New Groove") smilies/rolleyes.gif

[arelendil]

i'm the worst at this i think!!
yours are great all i've gotis...
gandalf:"if elves could fly etc"
legolas:*right! That's it! Where did i put my wings... my hair is freezing...wait i'm not a fairy!*
sorry that's my fave part i love that line

[arelendil]

okay back after dinner!
where's my donuts said by anyone any time!though it is probably best out loud!
and aragorn on the bridge
*I wonder if the waters cold and deep? how far would i get if i pushed her in and ran!!

[VanimaEdhel]

Aragorn: Gee...I wonder where Legolas gets his hair done? Maybe he can arrange an appointment for me...

Billy, the outcast Elf that's just at the Council: Bah! What's that stupid prince got that I haven't got?

[Eruialiwen]

LMAO I am loving these!!! smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif I wish I could think of some good ones...hmmm


Aragorn: "Let's hunt some Orc."

Gimli (glancing at Legolas): "Isn't that off-season? I thought this was Ranger-hunting season...wait...it is!!!"

Legolas (glancing at Gimli): "Hmm...isn't this Ranger-hunting season?!!"

Gimli: GAARRR!!! LET'S HUNT SOME RANGER! Can't forget to take him to the taxidermist though...

Legolas (looking at Gimli and grinning): *hisses like Hannibal*

Legolas and Gimli (running after Aragorn): DUN DA DUN DUN DUN DA DUN...the hunt is on!


OK, totally lame, but my mind is mush this eve... smilies/rolleyes.gif

[VanimaEdhel]

Hey! That was funny! *Laughs hard*

Aragorn: *Watching Frodo dance on the table at the Prancing Pony* "He's the man alli en la disco, | Playing sexy feeling hotter, | He's the king bailando et ritmo ragatanga, | And the dj that he knows well, | On the spot always around twelve, | Plays the mix that diego mezcla con la salsa, | Y la baila and he dances y la canta..."

(Lyrics courtesy of "Aserejé" by Las Ketchup)

That's all I have for now...

[Eruialiwen]

LOL smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif

[Eruialiwen]

LOL smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif You know, I can actually see Aragorn thinking that...hehehehehehe


OK and every time I look at this one, I die I laugh so freaking hard:

Gandalf: *as he's falling* Hmmm...I want...ICE CREAM!

[Lady_Espel]

As Frodo is paddling off in the boat
Sam smilies/frown.gifThinking)Oh damn, I really need the loo. I know(Speaking)Of course you are and I'm coming with you, etc...(thinking) Haha, I am a genious. He thinks I actually care, really duty calls and I don't want to answer it in public

Omigosh, untasteful and I just made a mockery of, like, the saddest scene. Hum, I am a BAD person.

[Brinniel]

Frodo looks down at the ring: *Hmmm. I wonder if I could exchange this for a silver ring. Silver would look much nicer with what I'm wearing.*

[Rose Cotton]

At the Breaking of the Fellowship.

Boromir: Now I see your mind! You will take the ring to Sauron! You will betray us!

Frodo: *Drat! How did he know?*

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Of course, what Frodo was really thinking as he left the Fellowship was:

"If I can only get away without them noticing I can be half-way to Umbar before they even know where to look."

[Nevfeniel]

Anyone from the fellowship just about anywhere in the wild: No bathroom? I have to use a bush and some LEAVES?! What have I gotten myself into. . .

[TealDude3]

Gimli: Does this axe make my butt sag?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Sauron: Obviously I'll have to put the Morgoths in the Blue Room, because they never could abide the whole gothic theme I've got going here. Then that nice Mr. and Mrs. Balrog in the Salon of Eternal Suffering, because it has such a beautiful view of the Sea of Núrnen. Oh, and Saruman can always be a problem, what with his dyspepsia, so I'll have to warn the cook to steer clear of anything too rich...

[ October 20, 2002: Message edited by: Squatter of Amon Rudh ]

[dragoneyes]

lol, this is a good topic, ok right

Balrog (as chasing the fellowship): Gandalf! Long time no see! Give us a hug.

Merry (as being captured by nasty things): I'm gonna have to spend the rest of my life with Pippin? NOOOOOOO!

ok, that second one was odd smilies/confused.gif

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Elrond: This council business is really boring. Why can't some bally idiot hurry up and volunteer to get rid of the ruddy thing so that we can go and get a spot of lunch?

Gandalf: Don't worry: I've pumped young Baggins' head so full of nonsense that he'll take on any insanely suicidal mission. I hope we're having blackberry crumble again.

Elrond: I didn't know you were telepathic.

Gandalf: Neither did I.

--------------------------------------------

Goldberry: Why does he always insist on bringing home every vagrant he finds? Now we'll have to cook for six instead of ordering a pizza. Mmmmm pepperoni.

--------------------------------------------

Gimli (at Helm's Deep): If that Elf gets too far ahead of me he'll be among the glorious dead tomorrow.

Legolas: If that Dwarf gets too far ahead of me he'll become the recipient of a stray arrow, or I'm no archer.

[ October 21, 2002: Message edited by: Squatter of Amon Rudh ]

[Mintyztwin]

Ha ha ha! I liked that last one! smilies/biggrin.gif

Okay, I'm intelligent, I can do this . . .

Sam: "Let 'im go, or we'll have you longshanks!" *Oh shoot! He's a lot bigger than I thought he was!*

Merry *Shut up Sam!*

Pippin *What's going on?*

[Ike]

Sauron, seconds before the One Ring hits the lava at the bottom of the Cracks of Doom, thus destroying him forever and condemning him to somenameless, terrible fate:
"Damn!"
Aragorn, throughout the series: "I brought my spare tunic and bedroll. I remembered to bring the map of Middle-Earth. I've got two knifes, one for skinning rabbits and one for fighting. Now, why the heck couldn't I remember my damn RAZOR?!?!"
Gimli: "Why won't that jerk Legolas let me borrow his comb? I wash my head. It's not like I'm dirty. It's just because I'm different, that's all. I want to be loved and adored, but just because I was born different, he dosen't care if my hair is raggedy. I hate that guy! <sob>"
Frodo, petrified with terror at the evil power of the One Ring, and unable to speak: "Oh, crap! It's the Evil Mutant Killer Ring of Death from Hell!" smilies/frown.gif

[Elenna]

Gandalf: We will take this road across the Misty Mountains...and then into Mordor.

Pippin: *Wait, Mordor? I thought we were going to Disneyworld! I knew I should have asked where this mission, quest, thing was going!*

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Glorfindel: I hate all this rushing around in the dark. I bet I don't get an ounce of credit for it either.

Gandalf (about to face the Balrog): I hate this job.

Shelob: I'm completely sick of live food. Nobody appreciates how difficult it is to cook something properly with this body. Why can't someone open a decent Greek restaurant around here? I'd kill for a nice baklava and some Retsina.

[VanimaEdhel]

(In the movie) The Wraith who says "Give up the halfling, She-Elf": HE-llo, baby! Boy is that Elf hot!

Legolas: Mud! I want mud! To roll in and get all over my clothes! And jello...lots of jello-ey goodness to roll in...I hate cleanliness! It's all Daddy's doing! Why does he have to be such a neat-freak? I want dirt! Lots of dirt! And nice, dark mines!

Legolas: Hmmm...if I do this well, maybe I will have lots of teen-age girls all over the world drooling on me and the non-Elfy in real life actor who plays me! I will be immortalized in a sea of drool! Oh, lucky me!

Merry (while captured by the Orcs): GAH! Did I forget to set the VCR? I might be missing "F*R*I*E*N*D*S" again, dammit! Oh well, Rosie always tapes it...I'll steal her tape...

[Arwen1858]

Aragorn: If by my life or death, I can protect you, I will.
Legolas: *hopefully by his death, then Arwen will be mine!!*

[Kalimac]

Mostly from the movie, sorry.

Aragorn to Arwen: "You cannot give me this!" ("Please, I can't let the other Rangers see me wearing a woman's necklace. I'll never hear the end of it.")

Frodo: "I will take the Ring, although I do not know the way." ("Please, Elrond, stop me. You're not going to let me GO, are you? Come on, step up to the plate here. You know the way, don't you?")

Gandalf: "I will help you bear this burden." ("How LONG I'll help you is another question, of course.")

Saruman: "But you have elected the way - of - PAIN!!!" ("God, you don't know how long I've been practicing this phrase in front of the mirror, do you?")

[Diamond18]

http://plauder-smilies.de/happy/roflmao.gif http://plauder-smilies.de/happy/roflmao.gif http://plauder-smilies.de/happy/roflmao.gif

Those are all really funny. I haven't been able to think of any for a while, but I've been reading.

Arwen: "If you want him, come and claim him!" *No, really. He smells awful and he's getting my clothes dirty!*

smilies/rolleyes.gif

[VanimaEdhel]

Gandalf: *says* YOU SHALL NOT...PAAAAAASS! *thinks* Oi vey...oh dammit, what did I get myself into now? My mom always told me "Son, you're a very extroverted Maiar, watch your back," but did I listen to her? Nooooooooo...and here I am, fighting a darn Balrog in the middle of Moria, a big, dark, now abandoned and stinky mine. I say again: Oi...vey...

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

I thought that this thread deserved to be moved back to the top.

I expect that as he faced Éowyn on the Pelennor Fields, the Witch-King's thoughts were as follows:

Not another blasted Rider of Rohan. And it's a woman. How original. They must really be desperate. Still, finish this one off then I can get back to the city, get rid of that old codger and be back in Minas Morgul with the wife and kids by next week. That'll save me a fortune on babysitters. Besides, those Orcs are so unreliable, always messing up the kitchen and drinking my beer... Ouch!

[Horse-Maiden of the Shire]

allright, im not very good at these tings so let me know if they suck:
the cave troll when Legolas first shoots it in the chest:
*Oww!! My booby! I'm supposed to go out with Rick tonight! Now what am i going to do?*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dont be mad at me for using the saddest part of the whole movie!!
When frodo pulls sam into the boat:
Sam: And I dont mean to, i dont mean to.
Frodo: Oh Sam! (they hug)
*Frodo: oh this is great....i wanted to go alone but now i have to have sam with me! Now i cant do half the things i wanted to*
thats not supposed to be gross or anything....so get your head out of the gutter! LOL

[My Cat Sasha]

(Aragorn kneels to pick the Kingsfoil. A sword comes down and rests against his neck)
Aragorn: Is it a Black Rider?
(Awren starts speaking)
Aragorn: Argh! Worse! My girlfriend!

(gollum talks to ring)
Sam: The Ring can't hear you, Gollum, and if it can it's not going to respond.
Gollum: What does he know, precioussss? Stupid fat hobbit...

Galadriel(speaking): But hope remains, while company is true.
Ring(thinking): Wanna bet?

Ok. Those weren't very good... Oh well.

[ December 30, 2002: Message edited by: My Cat Sasha ]

[Airerûthiel]

Wormtongue (in the movie, the shot of Saruman at Isengard just before the one of the Uruk-hai): Remind me again why I'm working for a fat crazy wizard with a James Bond villain complex?!

Éowyn (the scene where Aragorn comes back right at the end): Everyone out there's totally expecting me to snog you right now...

Arwen (looking at Elrond as she leaves Rivendell - this isn't really a thought but it's still quite funny): I could make a hand gesture at you under these sleeves and no-one would even notice...

Legolas (travelling across Rohan): God, that bloody dwarf can't decide whether he's right behind us or miles away!

[ January 03, 2003: Message edited by: Airerûthiel ]

[VanimaEdhel]

Two words work all the way through, you know...

*Extended version Fellowship of the Ring*

Bilbo: *Loses ring* Oi vey!

Bilbo: *Hears Sackville-Bagginses coming* Oi vey!

Gandalf: *Seeing Bilbo disappear* Oi vey!

Gandalf: *Learns that it might be The One Ring* Oi vey!

Frodo: *Learns about the One Ring* Oi vey!

Sam: *Gets caught behind the hedge* Oi vey!

Frodo and Sam: *Getting bumped into by Merry and Pippin* Oi vey!

Sam: *Holding veggies* Oi vey!

Hobbits: *Getting caught by Black Rider* Oi vey!

Gandalf: *Seeing Saruman's treason* Oi vey!

Eagle: *When Gandalf lands on him* Oi vey!

Frodo: *Sees the fire* Oi vey!

Frodo: *Gets stabbed* Oi vey!

Arwen: *Sees Frodo almost die* Oi vey!

Elrond: *Sees all the fighting at the Council* Oi vey!

Fellowship: *Sees Pippin is going* Oi vey!

Fellowship: *Sees Crebain* Oi vey!

Fellowship: *On Caradhrad* oi vey!

Hobbits: *When Watcher grabs them* Oi vey!

Gimli: *When seeing Balin tomb* Oi vey!

Pippin: *When he pushes the skeleton into the well* Oi vey!

Fellowship: *When attacked* Oi vey!

Fellowship: *When cave troll comes* Oi vey!

Fellowship: *When they think that Frodo's dead* Oi vey!

Gandalf and Legolas: *When they hear the Balrog* Oi vey!

Fellowship: *When they see Gandalf fallen* Oi vey! Oh, and booohooooo!

Aragorn: *When having difficulty with Haldir* Oi vey!

Legolas: *When not listened to* Oi vey!

Frodo: *When Boromir attacks him* Oi vey!

Boromir: *When shot* Oi vey!

Merry and Pippin: *When carried off* Oi vey!

Frodo: *When Sam jumps into the water* Oi vey!

THE END

*The Two Towers*

Frodo: *When going around in circles* Oi vey!

Gollum: *When captured* Oi vey!

Uruk-Hai: *When smelling man-flesh* Oi vey!

Aragorn: *When hearing pace quickened* Oi vey!

Gimli: *When lagging behind* Oi vey!

Pippin: *Just in general at their situation* Oi vey!

Merry and Pippin: *When the trees start speaking* Oi vey!

Merry and Pippin: *Each time almost eaten* Oi vey!

Pippin: *When Treebeard wakes up* Oi vey!

Merry and Pippin: *When they hear "The White Wizard* Oi vey!

Aragorn: *At Gimli and Legolas's readiness to fight* Oi vey!

All 3 travelers: *At seeing Fangorn* Oi vey!

Villagers: *At seeing Uruk coming* Oi vey!

Wormtongue: *At seeing the 4 come to Edoras* Oi vey!

Saruman: *At being cast out of the body* Oi vey!

Theoden: *At seeing his son dead* Oi vey!

Theoden: *At hearing about what's been going on* Oi vey!

Eowyn: *In surprise at seeing Aragorn counter her move* Oi vey!

Legolas and Hama: *At seeing the Warg riders* Oi vey!

Eowyn: *At not being allowed to fight* Oi vey!

Gimli: *At being piled on* Oi vey!

Aragorn: *At being pulled over the cliff* Oi vey!

Legolas and Gimli: *At seeing Aragorn gone and hearing the Orc's tale* Oi vey!

Aragorn: *At seeing the many, many Uruk* Oi vey!

Sam and Frodo: *At seeing the faces in the water* Oi vey!

Gollum: *At seeing Frodo go into the water* Oi vey!

Gollum, Frodo, Sam: *At seeing the Nazgul* Oi vey!

Sam and Frodo: *At seeing the black gates* Oi vey!

Sam: *At Frodo's changes* Oi vey!

Frodo and Sam: *At being caught by Faramir and company* Oi vey!

Frodo: *At seeing Gollum in the water singing* Oi vey!

Gollum: *At being caught* Oi vey!

Frodo: *At seeing Faramir wanting the ring* Oi vey!

Sam: *At seeing Faramir not aiding Frodo* Oi vey!

Legolas, Aragorn, Gimli: *At seeing the inexperience of the troops* Oi vey!

Gimli: *At seeing Legolas and Aragorn argue* oi vey!

All in Helm's Deep: *At seeing all the Uruk coming* Oi vey!

Haldir *sniff sniff sniff*: *At being *cries some more* killed* Oi vey!

Uruk-Hai: *At seeing Gandalf and company coming* Oi vey!

Sam: *At seeing Frodo randomly leave* Oi vey!

Faramir: *At seeing the Nazgul* Oi vey!

Faramir and Sam: *At seeing Frodo go to the Nazgul* Oi vey!

Works in many more situations too...actually: those are just the places where I have said that out loud at some point or another...

[Alatariel]

LOL smilies/biggrin.gif

[engwaalphiel]

Boromir when picking up ring on cahadaras smilies/frown.gifsp)
*If only they had it in silver
or
*Such a small thing can cause so much pain (can't remember exact quote) He's really thinking
"damn them , i saw one just like this in Argos last week.

[Alatariel Telemnar]

Arwen: (black rider chase scene) Do you really want this hobbit? Fine come take him! *drops hobbit onto ground* stupid hobbit, thats the last straw! *rides off mumbling* 'Tis the last time I shall ever fondle his tie... (that sounded way wronger than it was ment to be....)


Gandalf: (when Pippin knocks skeleton into well) That's it! I quit! *jumps into well* AHHHHHHHH! *Loud THUD*

Aragorn: (after Frodo offers him the ring) I knew I should have taken the ring! I'm so stupid why didnt I take it?

[ElenCala Isil]

Arwen: Nin o Chithaeglir, lasto beth daer; Rimmo nin Bruinen dan in Ulaer! Nin o Chithaeglir, lasto beth daer; Rimmo nin bruinen dan in ulaer!!!

What she's really thinking: *in a scared voice* oh crap man, I just had to go usurp Glorfindel, didn't I?

Aragorn:You do not fear them eh?!

Glorfindel:*off set* Sissy, good-for-nothing elf-maiden!

[ June 05, 2003: Message edited by: ElenCala Isil ]

[Himaran]

Gandalf, as he stamps his staff on the bridge to destroy it: "Miss the foot, miss the foot, miss the foot."

[Theoric Windcaller]

Haha, Here goes nothing.
The cast is thinking all of this at the same time:

Frodo: C'mon already, blah blah blah, we know this already, let's just get to where Gandalf falls into the chasm, I love it when Gandalf gets hurt.

Legolas: We musn't linger, the donuts will be gone soon.

Sam: I hope no one else is thinking about the donuts.

Gollum: The donuts, they're mine, my own, my preciousss...

Gandalf: I'm curious, can we change it up to where the Hobbits get thrown into the chasm and fight the Balrog? Haha!

Aragorn: Liv Tyler is so hot.

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

As Galadriel spoke of being a Queen, "beautiful and terrible as the Morning and the Night", I think that she was really thinking: "Besides, that's too much gold for my hand. Do I look like a giant magpie?"

She isn't the only one of the Wise to be serious about fashion either. Take Saruman, for example: as he stood before Gandalf in his new shimmering robes of many colours he was thinking: "He's bound to be so jealous. He hasn't bought a single new outfit since the end of the Second Age." Obviously that's why he was so upset that Gandalf liked white better.

[Rosie-Posey Sandybanks]

During the conversation between the Orcs in the movie:

"Looks like meat's back on the menu, boys" (thinks: Did I actually just say that? Ugh, I've got to get a new agent)

Random orc thinks in response: "But I'm a vegetarian!"

Another random orc thinks: "Oh man, that guy is sure to stick in my teeth!"

Okay, those were gross. Sorry! In a strange mood!

[Enorëiel]

Can't believe no one's ever thought of this before:

In the mines of Moria
Gandalf: When in doubt Meriadoc, always follow your nose.
Pippin in background: *Fruit Loops?! That reminds me, I'm hungry!*

... Did anyone catch that?

[Finwe]

I caught that too.

In Fangorn, right after Gandalf reveals himself to Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli:

Legolas: *with that little smirk on his face that he has after Gandalf says, "I am Gandalf the White* Looking good, Gandy!

[Rosie-Posey Sandybanks]

When Gandalf first sees Frodo:
*he's got huge feet! I wonder if it's true, what they say about guys with big feet?"

When Legolas first sees the Hobbits:
*Look at those enormous feet. I'd feel threatened if it was true about guys with big feet, but look how small mine are and... well, you know*

When Aragorn first sees the Hobbits:
*I feel a bit threatened at the size of their feet*

When Boromir first sees the Hobbits:
*Those feet! I'm going to have to kidnap one of them and take him back to Gondor to see if the feet thing is true with their race!*

When Arwen first sees the Hobbits:
*Wow! Look at their feet! And I know the rumor about the size of a guy's feet is true because I saw Legolas under the waterfall 500 years ago.*

Okay, went a little overboard there but it was fun!

[Miriel Undomiel]

It was fun indeed!!! smilies/biggrin.gif

Frodo:*And he is supposed to [i]sense the ring? Yeah, right.....

I was always a bit annoyed about how bone-headed a Nazgûl could get!

[THE Ka]

Ok, here i spout off my lame jokes.

When a fellowship thinks...
Legolas: "Will i ever find true love?"
( Wakes up from his day dreaming, looks around, realizes he's in a fellowship with: dirty haired men, smelly hobbits, a grimey dwarf,and a wizard who hasn't bathed for ages.) " Well, i guess it's only me and you Herbal Essance..."

Boromir: "Wow, that's ring's pretty shinny... And, Oh my Gosh! I almost forgot! Dad's birthday is only a week away! And that ring could make-up for all the times i embassed him in front of everyone by wearing my mustard-yellow leaszer suit!

[Arothir]

At the start of TTT when Saruman is talking to the Woses or Dunlendings or whoever he was thinking this: "Why did I ever take up with such losers?"

[Orominuialwen]

Faramir: *Maybe if I dye my hair black, that hot blond girl will notice me...*

[Everdawn]

Legolas; "Jeez im gorgeous!"

[Rindoien, elf of Lothlorien]

Arwen: Do you remember when we first met?

Aragorn: I thought I had strayed into a dream. *I hope she doesn't remember that I was drunk smilies/eek.gif *

Arwen: Long years have passed…You do not have the cares you carry now.

Arwen: Do you remember what I told you?
*You need to wash your hair!!!*

[Lady_Galadriel]

In ROTK when Gimli says to Legolas, I never thought I'd die standing next to an elf, and Legolas replies how about a friend, Gimli was really thinking, a friend hu? i should go stand next to Aragorn instead...

[Nimrothiel]

Heh, that's a good one.

In RotK, when Legolas cuts off the platform on the elephant and then kills the elephant:

Gimli: "That still only counts as one!!!"

*really thinking: "Show-off; that pretty-boy elf better watch his back, or he'll be number 72!!"*

[kittiegirl]

Pippin smilies/frown.gifafter he gets hit in the head with an apple in FOTR)"Ooch, that was an eye opener."
Merry:I didn't know I was related to an apple.The dictionary says so."

(A pippin is a dessert apple in the dictionary)