The Revenge of the Entish Bow - Discussion

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Title: The Revenge of the Entish Bow

Owner: Estelyn Telcontar

RPG type: Invitational only

Premise: This is a satire, a tongue-in-cheek Mary Sue spoof. For this reason, the rules of Middle-earth realism will be “stretched” slightly, allowing things that would not normally occur in serious RPGs.

Rules for players: Posts should be humorous, exaggerated, sarcastic, whatever you like, but never cheap or crude! Imaginative writing is desired, and correct use of language is required. This is a joint effort; players are expected to read the posts of other players and the discussion thread. We should aim for an average of at least two posts a week per regular player; if the story moves faster than that at times, wonderful – but it should not be slower, so as not to lose impetus.

Timeframe: Late Third Age
This story covers several months in Middle-Earth time and will likely take two – three months of real time for the players.

Location: both west and east of the Misty Mountains
Starting at the hidden Elven farm called “The Last Home-Grown Cows”
Probable destination – Minas Morgul or another orc abode

Characters: Heroines and heroes of all races and race combinations, preferably with phenomenal fighting skills, healing knowledge and diplomatic qualities (converted orcs possible but not mandatory); extraordinary weapons desirable; exotic pets allowed. Enemies will be chiefly orcs. Approximately 4 - 5 main characters would be nice as regulars; secondary characters can choose how much involvement they would like, and short-term cameo appearances are possible.

Players: I will be playing the main character, Merisuwyniel. She is an orphaned elven maiden of 42 years, almost adult by Elven standards. She is very beautiful, having long, rippling golden hair and violet eyes, slender and tall. She is graceful, friendly, courageous, very strong and yet shy. She carries a living bow made of the wood of an Ent, which she rescued from orcs when she was yet a child. The bow communicates with her by touch and/or by speech, as the occasion requires, and never misses its mark. She rides a black steed, Falafel, a direct descendent of Felaróf, the first of the mearas.

Other players so far are: Rimbaud, Bethberry, Diamond18, The Barrow-Wight, Kuruharan, Squatter of Amon Rudh, Mithadan, … and possibly more for minor or cameo roles(Birdland and Child of the 7th Age, for a start). They will introduce their characters here. Other forum members who feel that they can write in this style may contact me via e-mail: Estelyn@barrowdowns.com , preferably with a sample of their writing or a link to posts that demonstrate their ability to write subtle humour. Please do not post here until I have accepted your character suggestion!

Storyline: The atrocity that an Ent was hewn for its wood and made into bows and other objects must be revenged. Merisuwyniel takes up the quest of finding the orcs who did that horrible deed. She will find companions who will help her and possibly discover more objects made from the wood of that Ent. Her search will take her to the stronghold of the orcs, where she will meet a formidable foe! However, there can be no doubt that she will accomplish what she has set out to do – or can there?

[ January 09, 2003: Message edited by: Estelyn Telcontar ]

[Rimbaud]

*chuckles heartily*

Well, I'm in. I'll post my character's biography here, as soon as circumstance allows. smilies/smile.gif

Indeed, here it is:

It seems that I will be playing the central male protaganist and Merisuwyniel’s current clinch, a tall, dark and absurdly handsome half-Elven Lord by the handle of Halfullion Gormlessar.

This fine, upstanding gentleman is a Hero of the First Order, even to the extent that even quite substantial armies no longer tend to arrive in the field to face him, since the outcome is such a foregone conclusion. His considerable charisma and splendid haircut will make him a feared opponent of the wicked, and a vital ally for Merisuwyniel, in her quest.

Although to discount his rippling muscles (naturally) and quietly dangerous smile would be a mistake, his chief weapon is the legendary sword l’En’viey Piennhas. This exotically named blade arrived in the known realms of Middle Earth in the Third Age, perhaps in a great Caravan from the East, or on a spicer ship from the South. How it came to the calloused (yet surprisingly well-manicured) hand of Lord Halfullion Gormlessar is a matter of great conjecture amongst those who know him, and legend among those who do not. Very few do know the full story, and they’re not telling. The sword’s chief feature, besides its great reknown, is its magical and almost unexplainable ability to adjust in size. This unique feature is particularly valuable in close combat. Although Halfullion would be the first to admit that he had not totally mastered this item, he was accounted more than handy with it by all, and indeed sundry.

He has been staying at The Last Home Grown Cows, awaiting Merisuwyniel’s return. He has been very busy supervising the kitchen staff; displaying his wonderful human touch with the common folk by spending a great deal of time with the serving girls and boys, sometimes even reading them stories in their rooms, late into the night. Many tales were told of the giant warrior’s soft-heart and kind spirit.

Lord Gormlessar will be sure to join Meri’s mission and to fulfil his part as a great Hero of the Realms.

Edit: I neglected to mention his fleet-footed steed, Tofu. Tofu and Felafel are two mighty war-horses indeed.

[ January 09, 2003: Message edited by: Rimbaud ]

[Kuruharan]

Since Estelyn asked so nicely, Kuruharan the Dwarf and his pet dragon Chrysophylax will make their glorious return to the RPG's. I believe that I am to fulfill the exotic pets category. smilies/wink.gif

Since my schedule will necessitate that I drift in and out of the story every so often, I thought that Kuruharan the Dwarf could be a world-traveling merchant extraordinary, who could conveniently drift in and out of the tale, offering various wares for sale, and doing other merchant things (buy cheap, sell dear). He naturally is always accompanied by his pet dragon Chrysophylax, who acts as portage, bodyguard, ruffian, extra comic relief, and leech on Kuruharan's finances. The origins of their relationship are a bit clouded. Nobody knows why a dragon of ancient and imperial lineage would be the mere pet of a dwarf, one of their ancient enemies. The origins and specifics of their arrangement should probably remain shrouded in mystery, for the good of all concerned.

Kuruharan is a Longbeard Dwarf from Erebor. He wears a large, golden dragon pendant on a gold chain that he acquired from...someone. He wears rich clothing, and chain-mail armor underneath them. He wears one large axe visible on his person, and more than likely has all sorts of things tucked away in various places. He is a capable fighter, but prefers to let others do the fighting if possible. He does not want to get stains on his outfit, and dirty work is what the dragon is for. Kuruharan is always keen on ways to make a few extra gold pieces. He has traveled far and wide to many strange places. He knows all sorts of people. In fact, he knows a surprising number of characters and creatures that it is rather surprising that a Dwarf would be on good terms with. He is more than willing to sell to both sides in a conflict, provided that either side does not find out about his deal with the other.

That’s probably enough to go on...

More than likely Kuruharan has in his possession, or knows where to obtain, missing pieces of the unfortunate Ent. He is no doubt willing to sell said pieces whether he actually owns them or not. There is, by the way, a good piece of swamp land near the Dead Marshes that he has been trying to sell for years. It’s prime location for development.

[ January 08, 2003: Message edited by: Kuruharan ]

[Bêthberry]

What is a game without an antagonist?

Bethberry

[ January 08, 2003: Message edited by: Bethberry ]

[The Barrow-Wight]

Estelyn, thank you kindly for inviting me to your game. Now, to create a character. Hmmmm…….

We have an Elven maiden with an Entish bow, a Half-elven lord with an incredible shrinking sword, and a Dwarf with a pet dragon, so it is obvious what is missing –Orogarn Two (never abbreviated or shortened, thank you), third cousin, 84 times removed, of Isildur.

Obligatorily tall, dark, and handsome, Orogarn Two is also an expert hypnotist. Those not immediately taken by his natural good looks are almost sure to fall victim to his mesmerizing gaze. Though he carries a normal sword, his true weapon is a Numenorean crystal that hangs on a golden chain around his neck. The mystical stone, supposedly found by Elros on the beach when he first set foot on Elenna, allows Orogarn Two to focus the power of his mind, usually into hypnotic rays but occasionally into stranger, more powerful emanations. The magic stone also gives him leg power equal to the most revered of Mearas, so he almost never rides a horse or other mount. He is able to run tirelessly and with great speed for many hours on end, and seldom needs food or water.

Orogarn Two intends to join the Entish Bow quest to help the others recover the missing relics, but his motives are not completely in support of the mission. Once, when he was much younger, he traveled through Fangorn forest and emerged from the other side with his wallet missing. He has always been convinced that an Entish pickpocket was responsible, and he hopes to find clues to where his missing money pouch went.

[ January 08, 2003: Message edited by: The Barrow-Wight ]

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Having been most graciously accepted to this august and, dare I say it, ludicrous company, I feel it behooves me to create a character with all the originality and diversity required by the adventure's theme.

It is in this spirit that I present my own character: Earnur Etceteron. What poor words of mine can describe this paragon of manly virtue? Picture his rugged good looks: his square, roguishly designer-bestubbled jaw; his piercing, fascinating gaze; his thickly (though not grossly; hey, don't diss my character; he's really good-looking, okay?!) muscled body; his long legs and classical nose, and you have an image of the perfect hero. Yet would it surprise you to hear that he is also wise beyond his years? No, really: he's possessed of much arcane knowledge gleaned from years of travelling; right? In particular he is a herbalist of prodigious talent, known to remain at all times in possession of the best Athelas to be found on whichever side of the Misty Mountains he happens to be at the time.
Were this not sufficient, those same impotent armies that refuse to face Halfullion Gormlessar live also in fear of the dread name of Etceteron; for he carries the mighty sword Wylkynsion: last, greatest and yet most secret work of Éol, of which even most of the Noldor have never heard. And small wonder is this, since it was spirited from its hiding place when he made his ill-fated trip to Gondolin, and by manifold and implausible paths found its way into the hands of the elm-tall bearer in dusty black who wields it now.
Elves and Men speak also in hushed tones of his mighty jet-black steed Baklava, sprung of the same wild herds as Felaróf; whom Earnur caught and tamed single-handedly, and whose back will accept none other. This tireless stallion will bear even heavy loads as though they were no more than feathers, and shies not from fire nor weapons, nor sudden sound; nor even from the beasts of Sauron.

Etceteron has come to The Last Home-Grown Cows after long wanderings, having been dismissed as an advisor to Denethor, Steward of Gondor, due to his over-eager belief in the counsels of Gandalf, whom he once beat in a smoke-ring contest (the one man to have done so). In return for never revealing this to Men or Hobbits, he has been placed under a charm that enables him to seek out glorious adventure wherever it may be hidden.

Loved by women; feared by men; regarded with mute indifference by sheep and kine: such a man is Earnur Etceteron, bearer of the last Black Sword of Beleriand. Evil, look on me and despair.

[Mithadan]

I'll post my character shortly.

Bethberry, you PM box is full. I need to both reply to some of your messages as well as send you a new one. Your character and mine may have common interests (or at least common world-views).

[Bêthberry]

Yikes! There was still room for 10 yesterday. Cleared now, Mith.

Similar world views? What has Esty set me up for?

Bethberry

[Child of the 7th Age]

Estelyn,

Please check your private messages.

Sharon

[Diamond18]

Greetings to all! I have not one, but two characters to unveil for you: Vogonwë Brownbark and Pimpiowyn daughter of Éohorse. Without further ado, let me introduce them to you:

Vogonwë Brownbark is a wood-elf from Mirkwood. He has long, silky, grey-brown hair and deep, soft grey eyes—grey as a mouse. That is, indeed, his nickname: Mouse. His build is slight, and his muscles are supple and flexible. He so flexible and dexterous, in fact, that his favorite method of mounting a horse is to do three backward summersaults and an inverted pas de chat. Yes, he is quite graceful. He is like a cat—so unfortunately he is prone to coughing up hairballs from time to time. But he is otherwise quite charming.

Though Vogonwë is originally from Mirkwood, for the past few years he has lived at the Elven Farm, where he is popular amongst the barn cats and the mice. He talks to them soothingly, and has somehow managed to convince them to get along. Between one cat and mouse there is so deep a friendship that...ahem. Moving on.

Vogonwë is a most special and uncommon Elf. Why, thou dost inquire to ask? He is the only known Elf to have not had a mother. That’s right...or at least that is what his father pretends. Vogonwë’s father tells the story of how he was walking through a forest and he came across a rotting log cover in lichen and crawling with potato bugs. He spoke to the log, and then decided the take it home and fashion it in the likeness of an Elf-child. This he did, and when the Blue Faerie stopped by for tea, she used her magick markers to bring the boy to life.

This is, of course, malarkey. The real story is that Vogonwë’s mother was a mortal woman, who died when he was but a babe. No one knows the real story about her, besides Master Brownbark, and he ain’t telling. Will Vogonwë ever learn the truth?

Vogonwë has in his possession a magic bow and arrow set. Nothing to Merisu’s, of course. No, no. His is quite different. Vogonwë wears his bow in his hair. It looks quite nice, and its magic gives him the ability to speak the language of cats and mice and other forms of fauna. The arrows, on the other hand, he is very good at throwing. Vogonwë is, incidentally, the arrow throwing champion of Mirkwood.

When he is not negotiating between cats and mice or throwing arrows, Vogonwë spends his time writing poetry about his favorite subject: Mortality. He doesn’t know why this is his favorite subject (but we do!) and yet it fascinates him. Unfortunately for Vogonwë, his poetry is not quite up to the standards of the other Elves. Perhaps it is the human blood in him...but at any rate, the only people who will consent to listening to his poetry are unsuspecting hitchhikers and barn animals. The exception to this rule is a lovely mortal who has stolen his heart....

Pimpiowyn daughter of Éohorse is a beautiful, intelligent, witty and mischievous mortal. She is half-human, half-hobbit. Yes, that is what I said. Her mother was a distant cousin of Belladonna Took, and was the tallest Hobbitlass ever to walk the green fields of the Shire. She lived in the south farthing, and one day as Éohorse was riding by (what he was doing there nobody knows) he spied her dancing amid the barley, to music of a pipe unseen. He fell in love instantly, and took her back to Rohan with him. The piper, meanwhile, kept piping.

Their daughter was Pimpiowyn, a maiden with a cascade of breathtakingly beautiful red-gold curls, and uncommonly large eyes of the deepest sapphire. She has mostly the appearance of a woman, and stands at an even 5 feet (but is quite petite and lithe, of course). From her mother she has inherited some rather Hobbit-like personality traits. The Elves would say that she is a rather Tookish young lady, if they knew what Tookishness meant. Pimpiowyn has a ravenous appetite, and is hated by other mortal women because she can pack in 6 meals a day without gaining a pound. Behind her back she is called Saucer Eyes. To her face she is called Pimpi. She likes to dance and take walks by moonlight.

Pimpiowyn was orphaned when she was 7-years-old. Her parents were having a picnic up Isengard way when a band of marauding Orcs swooped down and marauded them. Pimpiowyn was present, and was the only one of the party to escape unscathed, because a band of Elves happened by just in time to rescue her and slay the Orcs. Unfortunaly, her mother, father, and her father’s horse were all killed. The Elves, instead of returning her to her own kind, took her to the Last Home-Grown Cows where she was raised. She is now twenty-five years old, and did I mention that she is beautiful?

Pimpiowyn wears around her neck a pendant with hitherto unknown powers. It is in the shape of a horse’s head. Well, actually, it is a horse’s head. When the Elves adopted her they took the horse of her father and shrunk its head using magick markers. When it reached an ideal size, they dipped it in 24k gold and mounted emeralds into the eye-sockets. This was presented to Pimpiowyn so that she would not forget her heritage. But don’t worry...her parents were given proper burials (whew!). It is rumored that the horse head whinnies when Orcs are near. But can it do more?

Pimpiowyn spends her time eating and listening to Vogonwë’s poetry. Most of it is in tender loving homage to her mortality. Despite her beauty and other attributes too numerous to go over again, her mortality is what attracts Vogonwë to her the most.

[Mithadan]

My character is the mighty Gravlox, one of the fighting Uruk-Hai. He is the Captain of a mighty cadre of Orcs whose home is Gol Dulldor. Gravlox's mighty fighty Orcs are bold, strong and brave (did I mention they were mighty?). The only time his band was ever defeated was when some namby-pamby Elves interfered with their amusement involving a human couple, a horse and some bratty kid. During this battle, some Elf tripped over his own pointy shoes while rushing at Gravlox with a magic shovel. Unfortunately, the shovel cut off Gravlox's foot, but he has since found a replacement.

Gravlox was born...well, 'nuff said. He is married, has three kids, two of whom intend to be warriors and the third who wants to be a hair-dresser. Gravlox doesn't go home much.

His weapons are the magical ZigZag sword, which is presently stuck in its sheath, a spear named Henry and a bow (no name). He rides a ravening wolf whose teeth have been professionally capped so that they are always sharp. The wolf, oddly enough named Grandma, is inordinately strong and vicious in battle. In fact its only weaknesses are that Grandma is allergic to daisies and certain types of cheese.

How's that Esty?

[Child of the 7th Age]

Shame, shame, Mithadan. The last time I encountered you in a game, you were a bona fide descendent of Beren.

Now you are an Uruk-hai. Things have indeed reached a low point in the Downs!

I fear they may go lower yet. I have sent the following missive of inquiry to Estelyn who graciously agreed to let my wizard Pettygast pop in and out on auspicious occasions. The text of my letter follows and will include a description of my character:

Estelyn,

It has recently come to my attention that there is a grievous error in the published corpus of Tolkien’s works that bears directly on the telling of The Revenge of the Entish Bow. As you are undoubtedly aware, UT makes reference to five maia sent to Middle-earth early in the Third Age. These individuals were members of the Heren Istarion “claiming to possess, and exhibiting, eminent knowledge of the history and nature of the World.

In my researches within the now defunct archives of Osgiliath (or at least we presumed they were defunct, until PJ came along!), I have uncovered proof of the existence of a sixth wizard. This chap, who goes by the common name of Pettygast, or the Green Wizard, dwelt among the Ents on one of the soggier portions of the Entwash Vale. He was deeply attached to that people (quite literally) and their ways, watching over them (or more likely under them) in the same manner as Mithrandir kept an eye on all those within the Shire.

The only extant manuscript which alludes to his presence was that of the twenty-third volume of the ancient Tree-herder’s Guide that spoke of a “wizard of extraordinary stature with a long green beard and long green moustaches which hung down on either side of it.” Closer inspection will reveal that he was far from clean. It was not that he had dirty fingernails, or anything like that, but some large bird seemed to have been nesting in his hair. And, indeed, this was true. For he possessed a great owl named Olli whom he kept tucked under his wizard’s cap.

The Guide states that Pettygast had a perpetually somber expression, much in the manner of an Ent, and mild blue eyes, which were very big and round under his granny glasses. Most extraordinary of all was his staff. He carried no dead wooden rod, or implement fashioned from crude iron. Rather he bore a living sapling, roots and all, with which he attempted to make magic in a quite extraordinary fashion.

Estelyn, at this point, you may be saying, that this dear wizard does have potential, despite his crude personal ways, and that it would indeed be a good thing to have someone along on a quest who could occasionally pop in with a bit of magic to set things right.

Now, I must be brutally honest. For I admit that Pettygast was a bit different from the other istari, not in terms of the purity of his heart, since he was indeed vigorous in the pursuit of the Shadow, but rather in terms of the effectiveness of his magic.

I see that you have asked all participants to exhibit great and unusual skills that would lead them to do extraordinary things. Pettygast certainly possessed amazing powers and the secrets of the ages such as the Maia were privileged to share at the discretion of their Valar masters. However, the poor fellow had one grievous fault, which is undoubtedly why his name has faded away from the annals of the wise. He was forgetful in the extreme and managed to get many of his spells and potions totally incorrect so that no one could accurately predict the outcome of his interventions. He did indeed do extraordinary things, but with sometimes disastrous results.

Still, people going on quests can’t be too picky, and a wizard is a wizard in all events, especially since the others of his order seem to be involved in their own business, and have no time to hunt down tree killers.

Indeed, Pettygast’s own schedule is quite crowded, and he is therefore unable to serve as a “regular” cast member. However, he could find his way clear for an occasional cameo appearance, should you find that useful. I would rely on your discretion in informing Pettygast when his particular skills are required, and he will indeed keep up with the story line. As a maia, Pettygast hopes you will give him the unflinching respect he deserves and only call upon him in those situations where all other options have failed. (And then, may God have mercy upon your soul!)

Looking forward to hearing from you,

Sharon, PhD. in Nonsense and Scholar Extraordinaire

[Estelyn Telcontar]

A hearty welcome to both friends and foes! Just reading all your character descriptions has been great fun!

Rimbaud, I look forward to writing with you again after our last mutual effort, as well as to riding with you on our noble steeds! May you wield your sword wisely!

Kuruharan, I’m glad that you will join us! It’s been awhile since I’ve picnicked with Chrysophylax and I hope the two of you will journey with us often. You didn’t mention the Dwarf’s looks – I do trust he’s a Khazad hottie?!

Bethberry, I know a bit of what awaits me and tremble accordingly! You will certainly be a worthy opponent; may our battle be memorable.

Barrow-Wight, Orogarn Two scares me just a little bit with his hypnotic abilities – he won’t be tempted to misuse them to aid his own cause, will he??

Squatter, I stand amazed before Etceteron – a formidable ally indeed! Besides the battle prowess that every hero has, your knowledge of herbal lore is likely to be needed on a quest of this magnitude.

Diamond, what a wonderful pair of characters! I eagerly await the poetry that will be forthcoming. That horsehead pendant of Pimpi’s will be a valuable asset to warn us of approaching orcs. Do the two have mounts or will they have to be provided with horses?

Mithadan, a mighty foe you have created there! Pimpi may have her own revenge to take on him. Your weapons and wolf have…interesting names. May your orc band be mighty enough to challenge the abilities of our superheroes, yet weak enough to be duly disposed of!

Sharon, I tremble to think that we could be in such dire straits that we find it necessary to call upon Pettygast for help! But what is a quest without a wizard? Unthinkable! I guess it will be alright for you to pop in and out – a colleague of yours called Gandalf used to do that too – undependable chaps, these wizards!

As to Merisuwyniel, yes, you may abbreviate her name to Meri or Merisu on the discussion thread (I know well enough just how inconvenient it is to type!). But please do not do so in the story – she is inordinately proud of her beautiful elven name, which was given to her by a fairy godmother called Namegeneratoress, who dwells on an ancient burial ground…but that’s another story.

By the way, did I mention that, among all of her wonderful personal character traits, Merisu is very modest??

All, you are welcome to make your first story post whenever you wish. You should introduce your character within the context of the narrative and bring him/her/them to the Elven Farm or establish their reason for being there already. Please disable your signatures on the RPG posts, so that the flow of the story is not interrupted.

We shall have a council when all have arrived and the fellow/gal-ship will then get on its way. Any similarities to a book by an author we all revere (and a movie of the same name, not quite so revered) are quite intentional and should not be considered mockery. We are only using our favourite source as reference material.

We have several possibilities for coordinating our interactive efforts: the discussion thread, always mandatory reading; PMs to individuals for secret plotting; and a chat room, the name of which shall be sent to each player by PM. If cross-posting results in continuity or coordination inconsistencies, please contact the person(s) involved or post on the discussion, so that you can then edit your posts accordingly.

I am very much looking forward to writing this story with all of you!

[Kuruharan]

Kuruharan is five feet tall. Like all Dwarves he is stocky and very strong. He has a mass of light brown hair (neatly combed and brushed of course, this is a Dwarf of taste and refinement), and the long beard required of his folk. He has sparkling blue-gray eyes. Under the beard it is impossible to tell if he is what Khazad ladies would consider a hottie, and only they would know that anyway.

I forgot to mention that he has a mansion hidden away in the Grey Mountains. This is where he keeps much of his loot, uh...merchandise, and Chrysophylax at times when it would be inconvenient to be seen with him. He also keeps a few hench-dwarves in these halls as well.

It should probably also be noted that while Kuruharan's a bit of a shady individual, he is a loyal Dwarf to his people and will never go against their interests. Most everybody else is fair game.

You should introduce your character within the context of the narrative and bring him/her/them to the Elven Farm or establish their reason for being there already.

Does Kuruharan have to show up at the Cow Haven? I kind of thought that I would wait until, somebody at least, sets out on the road. However, if you think that would be too long he can turn up before they go. Just let me know.

However, Kuruharan and Chrysophylax can't arrive yet. There's not enough people to make a suitably glorious entrance.

[ January 09, 2003: Message edited by: Kuruharan ]

[Diamond18]

Do the two have mounts or will they have to be provided with horses?

Ah, sorry! Yes, Vogonwë has a horse, which he mounts by doing three backward summersaults and an inverted pas de chat. I neglected to mention the name of that noble (and patient) steed. It is Pasdedeux, a grey-brown (what else?) mare, who is the second cousin twice removed of Arod.

Whenever Pimpi goes riding, it is usually on the back of Pasdedeux. If she is to have her own steed for the Quest, yes, it will have to be provided. You see, she has always felt closer to the Head of Lopitoff than any other living horse.

If anyone is wondering if Berugheera's one white whisker means anything special: yes, it does. My last cat was black with one white whisker, and his name was Bagheera. smilies/wink.gif

[ February 26, 2003: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Well, we’re off to a great start – stellar posts, all of them! All of our fellow/gal-ship members have arrived, except for Kuruharan and Pettygast. The council of Lord Roneld (the name of the head of the Elven Farm was given by Diamond in her post) will be held on Monday/Tuesday. Those who post on the weekend can get to know the lovely rural elven enclave and interact with each other. They do not yet know of the quest, except for Merisu. If you use another character in your post, please be sure to stay in keeping with the personality.

Kuruharan, you might want to make your grand appearance before or during the council – the farm should be a great place to do business, what with not having a mall nearby and the ladies needing something interesting to do besides just sitting and weaving cloaks, baking lembas or embroidering banners all day.

Sharon, I think it would be a good idea for Pettygast to come for the council, if you can arrange your time to do so.

To make it easier to keep all these heroes apart, I’m making a list, checking it twice… I will post the characters with their steeds and weapons as soon as it’s finished.

Just a few comments – I wish I had time and space to write all of the details of your posts that I am enjoying! –

B-W, unusual clothing your man has there – do you suppose that shirt would be a good merchandising item?? It sounds very attractive! Loved your tie-in of the poem about “the Ent that was broken”! What I find interesting is that Orogarn Two has no horse, Orogarn Two needs no horse!

Mith, is this the first time in history that an orc song has been heard? Very unique! The linguistic references (especially “be-bop shu bam” ) will certainly be a great addition to our beloved Languages forum, which definitely needs to include chatspeak.

Squatter, that ballad brings back memories of tales of another warrior, with many a cunning plan. What an unusually manly hero! I especially look forward to seeing the razor-edged sword Wylkynsion in action – and hearing more of its talk.

Diamond, could both of your characters possibly ride together on that horse of Vogonwë’s? They don’t seem to weigh too much; if it’s a sturdy mount, that should be no problem. What great character description and interaction you have there! An Elf who wears his bow in his hair, her hair like the Similars of Feeblenor! But who could ever imagine an Elf mounting his horse in such a spectacular fashion – don’t tell me he shield-surfs too?! smilies/wink.gif

Rim, Scully, the scullery girl, with a fox-like gleam mouldering in her eyes?! How strange! But it looks like Halfullion will need some practice with that sword of his…

Kudos to each of you for beginning the story so well – I hope you’re all enjoying it as much as I, and I hope other readers too, am!

[ January 10, 2003: Message edited by: Estelyn Telcontar ]

[Kuruharan]

Esty-

Actually, it would probably be more in accordance with my real world schedule to put in an appearance before Monday. I'll whip up something and post it after you add your reply to the grand matter of how you know the noble Etceteron. Or after anybody else who happens to post in the meantime, since I probably won't post until tomorrow morning.

It certainly has gotten off to a good start. The heroes are bickering already. smilies/evil.gif smilies/wink.gif

[Diamond18]

Kuruharan, could you put off Kuruharan's entrance until after I get Vogonwë and Pimpi to join the others by the Bovine Fountain? I hope to post after Esty does hers, and then everyone should be present for your grand entrance. smilies/smile.gif

Esty, there's no problem with Pimpi riding on Pasdedeux. She is only five feet, so I assume she would rather ride behind Vogonwë than be on her own. And if Vogonwë ever feels the need to sheild surf you can be sure he'll do a [insert odd snowboarder lingo here] to boot. I'll have to brush up on my lingo in anticipation.

And I'm glad you liked Lord Roneld. You can also thank Rimbaud, for starting the anagram thread in the quiz room, which got me interested in anagrams. Now I see them everywhere! Thanks, Rimbaud...or Halfulliun, if you will.

[Kuruharan]

Yes, that would be just perfect. I was hoping that you would be there. Since I, ahem...cough, put part of this evening to good use and wrote Kuruharan's grand entrance already, and Vogonwë and Pimpi were there.

If they had not shown up yet, I would have had to do a lot of rapid re-writing. smilies/wink.gif

[Estelyn Telcontar]

I've posted, so please go ahead, Diamond and Kuruharan.

By the way, here is an interesting bit of obscure background information gleaned from HoME XVI, "Rural Elven Enclaves": Lord Roneld of the Hidden Valley Ranch had the surname 'Macdoneld'. The legendary Elven ballad that told his story has been lost except for one fragment that survived the centuries as a children's song, "Old Macdoneld Had a Farm".

[ January 11, 2003: Message edited by: Estelyn Telcontar ]

[Kuruharan]

Diamond18-

I went ahead and posted since I will be away from the computer for the rest of the day and I did not want to be holding things up.

Just get Pimpi and Vogonwë to the Bovine Fountain and everything should (cross fingers) tie together (and try not to kill anyone off. smilies/wink.gif )

[Diamond18]

Done and done! I have made my post, and killed off no one.

I want to note that I changed Pasdedeux from a stallion to a mare. Inspiration struck me, and as I picked myself up off the ground I decided to make her a mare.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Here's the list I made; it is of course subject to changes and will be updated as necessary. Hope you find it helpful!

Character and Location List for ‘The Revenge of the Entish Bow’

Character (Player) – race – horse – weapons(s) – other essential information

Fellow/gal-ship:

Merisuwyniel (Estelyn) – elf (female) – horse Falafel – the Entish Bow

Halfullion Gormlessar (Rimbaud) – half-elf, half-human (male) – horse Tofu – sword l’En’viey Piennhas

Orogarn Two (Barrow-Wight) – human (male) – no horse – Numenorean crystal, generic sword – missing wallet

Earnur Etceteron (Squatter) – human (male) – horse Baklava – sword Wylkynsion

Vogonwë Brownbark (Diamond) – elf (male) – horse Pasdedeux – arrows (hand-thrown) – magic hairbow

Pimpiowen (Diamond) – half-hobbit, half-human (female) – shares horse Pasdedeux w/Vogonwë – no weapon so far – horse pendant

Kuruharan (Kuruharan) – dwarf (male) – dragon Chrysophylax – axe

Pettygast (Child/Sharon) – wizard (male) – donkey Hummus – sapling staff

(The latter two characters will be drifting in and out of the fellowship. Including Chrysophylax, that makes nine of us.)


Foes:

Gravlox (Mithadan) – Uruk-Hai (male) – wolf Grandma – sword ZigZag

??? (Bethberry) – ???

??? (Birdland) – ??? (cameo)


Guest appearances:

Lord Roneld (Estelyn) – half-elven ruler of the Elven Farm also known as “The Last Home-Grown Cows” or Hidden Valley Ranch

??? (Belin Ibaimendi)

???


Locations:

Elven Farm (“The Last Home-Grown Cows” or Hidden Valley Ranch)
Therein: The Bovine Garden and Fountain…


Gol Dulldor – orc fortress

[ January 13, 2003: Message edited by: Estelyn Telcontar ]

[Diamond18]

no weapon?

I have not given Pimpiowyn a weapon because she is a young half-hobbit (in her tweens) whose favorite pastimes are eating, eating, and (for variety) eating. In her sheltered life at the Elven Farm, she has not had use for weaponry.

Since it is imperitive to such a dangerous mission that she have something to at least protect herself, she can be given a sword at a future time. I'm thinking there are three possiblities, 1) Lord Roneld gives her one before they depart 2) Kuruharan sells her one 3) she finds one a la Bilbo and Sting.

I'm not paticularily leaning towards any one of those at the moment.

[Rimbaud]

Perhaps she can discover some previously unknown facility for fireballs and the occasional lightning bolt.

[Child of the 7th Age]

Pettygast has pencilled the Council into his agenda for Monday or Tuesday.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

What a wonderful introductory post, Kuruharan! How clever to sneak forum balrog-wing debating into it! (And yes, I’ve read that “excellent article on this very matter by the renowned Cardolanian scholar Dr. Barro…") The dialogues between the characters are really great. Both you and Diamond made very good use of the other characters in your posts. What fun to read those scenes!

I’ll be posting the council scene on Monday, so you can all post your reactions to it on Monday or Tuesday. After that we’ll be getting on the road. Looking forward to more!

Saurreg, you needn't hurry about deleting your post - compliments are always welcome! smilies/wink.gif Thanks!

[Diamond18]

Thank you ever so much, Estelyn and Saurreg. And I must say that I loved the hairball bit as well as the balrog debate, Kuruharan. smilies/smile.gif

Perhaps she can discover some previously unknown facility for fireballs and the occasional lightning bolt.

I'm speechless. The thought of my cute little Pimpi harnessing fireballs and lightening leaves me positively bumfuzzled.

Though I have been trying to think of a hidden magic for her horsehead pendant (besides the Orc detection protection)...

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

I'm just catching up with what was happening during my weekend of hedonism, and it would appear that "a lot" is the only phrase that really fits the bill.

Anyway, I thought that a few notes on the "personality" of the mighty sword Wylkynsion might come in handy for anyone who wants to write any lines for him, especially those not familiar with lager louts of the English variety.

Wylkynsion is lustful, violent, foul-mouthed and irritable. It lives to fight, and at all other times is normally asleep in its scabbard, dreaming of pretty female melee weapons. It tolerates Etceteron's ludicrous speech and often egregious tactical blunders because he fights and kills lots of creatures with it.

Now on to language: I'm using a fairly generic Essex/North London lout's dialect, which may or may not include Cockney rhyming slang (raspberry ripple means... well it isn't very nice, let me put it that way). Also you get "abaht" for "about" "'nall" for "and all" (ie "too"), "'nooligan" as a self-descriptive term and so on. His battle hymns are all common British intimidation chants, often heard at Association Football matches (and cleaned up for use in this roleplay). Hopefully my next RPG post should clarify how I invisage this most offensive of weapons.

Since I'm on that subject, you may have noticed that the player who controls Lord Etceteron isn't quite as sharp as the character he's playing. All knowledge normally requiring some sort of memory/lore/knowing stuff roll will come out unmangled, but get him into a situation where the player is deciding the course of action and woe betide. His sword will make no attempt to stop him as it's completely psychotic and probably won't get hurt anyway. Indeed, as on the road, it will often egg him on with scant regard for his safety.

It's good to be back and I look forward to chucking another post up soon.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

The first part of the Council of Roneld is posted. This is the time for you to post your character's reactions and/or answers to the question that has been asked. I am assuming that Pettygast will be coming somewhat late, Sharon, in keeping with his character - thanks for that great introductory post! Whenever you want him to enter is fine.

I will post again tomorrow or Wednesday, concluding the Council. If you haven't posted in the meantime and would like to, let me know so that I can wait for you. See you all at Roneld's!

[Child of the 7th Age]

Late? Pettygast late? A wizard is never late, but arrives precisely when he intends to!

I will post late tonight or tomorrow.

sharon

[Susan Delgado]

Oh, the pun, the pun...Rimbaud...mercy...

[Estelyn Telcontar]

One more day, if anyone wants to post at the Council/BBQ! Any ideas about how to start our revenge quest? *holds up "Welcome Crackpot Theorists" sign* I will conclude the Council tomorrow and get us on our way. Thanks for all the great new posts - this is a wonderful group of writers, a compliment that I pass on from readers of our story. Nice that our token wizard finally joined us! And I look forward to seeing what Birdie is hatching...

Rim has been reported to the Punsters' Union for doing overtime. ( smilies/wink.gif Rim - you know I love them! )

[Mithadan]

Dear Rimbaud:
As the Union of Pun (Associated)Wraiths (hereinafter known as UNPAW) has gone on strike due to the frequency of your stinkers, I am forwarding to you the attached citations resulting from your post dated January 13, 2003 04:25 PM: five (5) citations for Civil Pun infractions at $25.00 each; and one (1) citation for an Aggravated Pun infraction at $50.00. Please remit promptly to the attention of the Barrow Wight or your punning license will be revoked.

Thank you.

[Diamond18]

Heavens, I hope there isn't a Union of Poetry Wraiths, as I'd be in deep trouble. *hides*

Ah, so you want some crackpot ideas, eh, Esty? Well, here's one to crack over. It came to me whilst I was eating my dinner, and I almost choked on my baked beans for excitement. Okay, well, it isn't that good, but I probably would have almost choked anyway, since they were cold...

Unless Pettygast has something to suggest (I had the impression that some sort of idea was forming in his head) would the Fellow/Gal-ship consider making a trek to the realm of Carrots Glad-thorn, a small encalve in Mirkwood, where dwells the Lady Gladloréal? She is sometimes called the Blue Faerie, and her fame has spread far and wide as being able to bring inanimate objects to life. Who else could then re-forge an Entish bow?

Now, being that the story of the rotting log is an elaborate falsehood, who knows if she could really do it. But then again, who knows that she can't? She's a mysterious lady, that Blue Faerie Gladloréal. And, if nothing more, she may at least be able to offer sage and esoteric words of advice, or samples of her world renowned magical shampoos. Or, if our heroes are really very worthy, she would let them look into her Looking Glass, where mayhap they shall see things that are, things that were, and things that are bizarre.

[Child of the 7th Age]

You think Pettygast has the slightest idea what to do??? Pettygast's creator falls over laughing. He just reports on the dreams. He hasn't the foggiest idea what they mean.

The Blue Faerie Gladloreal sounds promising. But I still think, at some point, someone may have to come up with some large pots of glue. (All you horses out there, tremble!)

Pettygast will not be going with the main quest, but will attempt to make his own rounds of the bazaars and other jumble sales. He will peiodically bring his sack of finds back to you folk. He is a "cameo" player.

Is it possible that there is another entient piece out there? Perhaps the two must be brought together before the smaller items can be reassembled? But what might that be, and where might it be found?

Perhaps someone else has some ideas in another direction?

[Birdland]

Is it possible that there is another entient piece out there?
Has anyone checked Ent-bay?

[Belin]

Oh, the pun, the pun...Rimbaud...mercy...

I must concur... Merci, Rimbaud.

--Belin Ibaimendi

[Child of the 7th Age]

Ent-bay??

Bird--Mercy, please. I have two cracked ribs and find it painful to laugh which is one reason I am only a cameo player in this game!

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

I'm not sure how pretending to be a brooch is going to help.

[Bêthberry]

I would beg to remind all of you who are engaged in starry ideas about this trek that there are cameo writers who have boldly gone before you and made certain things so. That is, they have broached the topic for you. smilies/wink.gif

And before you plunge into the mirky depths of wooden ideas (please see OED for 'wooden'), remember that you must mine for more play in the pits where deforested mountains hide bale-logs.

And our own Mith will have something to say about other entient pieces.

Bethberry smilies/biggrin.gif

[ January 28, 2003: Message edited by: Bethberry ]

[Child of the 7th Age]

Bethberry,

First, I have a strong suspicion that 99.9% of the bagloads of wooden "treasures" that Pettygast rescues from the jumble sales will be quite ordinary things. He does have a way of consistently getting things wrong, although he thought that Fruit-giver told him to "reassemble the pieces."

But just what are those "pieces" --pieces fashioned out of wood, pieces of a tale, pieces of a magical spell, or something we haven't even considered yet. Pettygast has made certain assumptions from his dream that the "pieces" are synonymous with the bowls, cups, etc. that he saw. But are they? I have no idea.

Also remember that Pettygast doesn't only get his spells wrong. He gets other things wrong as well. That includes grammar, spelling, and dream interpretation. Was that really Fruit-giver, or a false sending of some sort?

And let's not forget the vexing issue of homonyms. As far as I know, there is no "s" plural for "peace", but are we sure that Pettygast understands that fine point of grammar? Or, perhaps, it was the Middle-English "pees" he actually heard.

In short, if I were sitting at that Council table, I would be hesitent to accept the wizard's words at face value unless there is some corroboration. Perhaps, the existing entient piece has some feelings on all this?

sharon

[ January 15, 2003: Message edited by: Child of the 7th Age ]

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Somehow the idea that Pettygast is consistently anything seems far too sensible and reliable to be the whole truth. Be that as it may, any nonsense spoken with conviction is enough to have the great Etceteron swearing his allegiance to a buffet queue, a passing dromedary or, in one particularly tired and emotional moment, a small ornamental rosebush.

[Mithadan]

I will be away on business Thursday and Friday. I will try and post before I go. I may not be on this weekend either though I will try to pop in.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

So, Lord Roneld has gotten us out of the Hidden Valley Ranch and on our way to Topfloorien. We will now be traveling through the wilderness, heading for the Canthardlee Pass, since we need to get to the other side of the mountains. You may move us on; I hope we get to the pass some time this weekend. Next week we will be going underground, then reaching Topfloorien by that weekend, if possible.

Please let me know if you would like to insert anything into my narrative - editing is no problem. I look forward to your next posts! Perhaps we can keep Kuruharan and Pettygast with us for awhile, with others writing them into their posts. I'd appreciate feedback and ideas!

Morning mathematical musings: Would a Half-Halfling be called a Quarterling??

[Diamond18]

Well, I have set us out in style, I hope. So, is this mother-in-law of Roneld's indeed the Lady Gladloréal of Carrots Glad-thorn? Or shall we have to wait till we get to Topfloorien find out? smilies/biggrin.gif

And Sharon, I'm glad to amuse you so. smilies/wink.gif You can never be too sure about what's going on in the mind of a Wizard.

I'll advise that whoever posts next allows room in the narrative for a post by Squatter having to do with Vogonwë's poem. It would be wise, my friends.

[Bêthberry]

I'll say only, Diamond, that Topfloorien is quite, um, vegetated. smilies/wink.gif A few ideas have been tossed around.

Bethberry

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

As you've probably noticed by now, Lord Etceteron's Arthurian clowning has now been published. Share and enjoy.

[Rimbaud]

Very good Squatter. smilies/smile.gif

A short and increasingly bizarre and unhinged Gormlessar post, well, posted. Moving through the wilderness to the heights of Canthardlee Pass. I have a post ready for when the storm hits. I'll post it...well, then.

smilies/smile.gif

You are all very humourous writers. Kudos, etc.

[Bêthberry]

Gormlessar's ghosting reminds one of those lines,

oh, I didn't realize that [he] wrote poetry/ (I didn't realize [he] wrote such bloody awful poetry)
smilies/wink.gif

Using poetry loosely to mean prose of course.


Bethberry

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Great posts, everyone! I wish I could go into detail over each of them – I enjoy them so much! But that would take much too long, and I’ve been ‘gently’ reminded that a Merisu post is due. Thanks to a bunch of fantastic writers!

Diamond, you certainly did set us out in style! Vogonwë’s poetry is, as always! smilies/wink.gif You do have me wondering if I might have a piece of jewelry that would enable me to retreat from unwelcome speeches like Pimpi does…

Squatter, great descriptive prose and a wonderful literary analysis! You and Diamond set up a good cooperative effort there.

Mithadan, nice introduction of the Entish wooden foot! I was looking forward to that. And you finally showed us the true story behind the torture of the Elves – Orc hairdressers!

Rim, that tin-whistle was such a touching….touch! More eloquence than puns this time – hmmmm, fines are an effective measure after all! smilies/wink.gif (Please don’t stop!)

Kuru, (may we abbreviate you to that?) what an unexpected talent Chrys has – violin playing! By the way, after that sizeable cash payment, we expect you to stay with us for the whole journey! (With your permission, we will carry your character when you haven’t the time to write. If you do want to fly off for an additional adventure, let us know so that your Dwarf isn’t trying to be in two places at once.)

B-W, what a sneaky reference to hang-hobbit! And your independent arm sounded so Monty-Python-esque that we were trying to remember an episode with that, but it is all your own idea after all!

Sharon, I would like to keep Pettygast with us until we go underground, where he will be suitably lost to the Fellow-Galship. He will be needed on Canthardlee Pass. We will carry the character if you can’t post this week.

Some additional information for all:

The timeframe of our story has been made more precise by Mith’s reference to Lord Sourone as ruler of Gol Dulldor. That would put us at about the time of The Hobbit. This is fine, since I wanted us to use the M-E locations, and LotR as a reference, but not exactly follow the events of LotR. From Topfloorien, we will travel to Gol Dulldor to fight Orcs, since our “hope is in battle not in secrecy”, as Rim so ably stated. From there, we will move down the river to the capital city of the humans, then to the tower of the Orcs, where we will fight a foe as yet unknown to most of us.

That will complete the revenge part of the story, which I would like to have done by mid-March, since I will be away for several weeks till mid-April. (Closer to most of you in real life, since I’ll be in the States, but who knows when I’ll have computer access?!) I am trying to keep the story moving to avoid stagnation, but if you want to take more time in a particular location or already have an idea for a smashing post later on, please drop me a line.

If you all enjoy the RPG enough to write a sequel, we can go on to find more lost pieces of the Ent afterwards…

[Child of the 7th Age]

Esty,

I should be able to post something on Monday. Later in the week, I'm not sure as I return to work.

You are more than welcome to manipulate my character as needed, and I will definitely keep an eye on the story line.

sharon

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Everyone: The first part of Merisu's account of the journey to Canthardlee Pass is up. If anyone wants to post at this point, please do so soon. (Short posts are fine - Diamond and/or Kuruharan may want to write a flashback/memory of the dagger sale, for example.) Otherwise I will be finishing up the journey within a day or two. Rimbaud will post when we reach the mountain. If you have ideas for that location, please contact him to coordinate your plans.

[ January 19, 2003: Message edited by: Estelyn Telcontar ]

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Merisu has taken us up to the foot of the mountains (post is up and will be completed within the hour). Rim will continue up on the pass, so please wait until he has posted this evening before adding anything to the story. Diamond has a post idea coming back down from the mountains; after that we head underground.

Thanks again for great posts - Birdie, what fun birds! 'Tis a shame that they were roasted and eaten...

[Rimbaud]

For those of you with a bent for music trivia, there are 'one or two' little references in my latest post. See if you can spot them all! smilies/wink.gif

[Bêthberry]

I'm glad all over that such things do not fade away, Rim, cause it's fun, fun, fun with all these good vibrations.

I'm wishin' and hopin' that while all of you are going' up country in that cave you won't become silhouettes or smoke on the water as you ride out the storm. Little by little you will have your audience all cried out and they won't get fooled again.

Although this was a magic moment, clearly some stories are bigger than others--a third rate romance perhaps?

For what it's worth, these eyes cry out for yesterday.

"Stop! Stop ! Stop!" you might say, but, in the end, you really got me now.

Bethberry smilies/biggrin.gif

[ January 21, 2003: Message edited by: Bethberry ]

[Diamond18]

I have my post edited...the last post on page one! How honored, I feel. Do enjoy.

[Birdland]

Well, it sounds like y'all are on the road to nowhere, but once you get over the mountain and they take you to the river, it will be nothing but flowers.

Ah, such is life during wartime. Glad to see you're staying up late to continue the story. Just watch out for those psycho-killer Orcs!

[ January 22, 2003: Message edited by: Birdland ]

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Announcement: As I write these lines, our RPG has reached its 42nd post! I thought this significant number should be duly noted.

Rim, you wild thing! You made that post sing... 'How shall I pun thee? Let me count the ways:' Nope, no way to count 'em, and who could count while laughing?!

Diamond, as always, great use of language! The poetry is ... as always, then alliterated marshmallows and the wonderful Baskerwargs and Fool of a Half-Took!

Mith, skwerls?! smilies/biggrin.gif Yes, that was the only possible result of Rim's post. I can't help but wonder what will be the fate of that red-shirted soldier...

Birdie, I didn't know we have another poet here! Of course, we have to guess whether the *** word rhymes. At least now we know where the fox was headed...

Squatter, Etceteron, our connoisseur of the fine linguistic arts delights us with his insights yet another time! The line about the woven staves seems so familiar to me...

Thanks, all, for a slew of great posts! Unless someone has another, I will take us underground today or tomorrow at the latest.

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

I don't know what you mean, Estelyn. As you know I never borrow dialogue unless I really, really want to.

[Rimbaud]

Hmph.

[Rimbaud]

Posted again. This time, Halfullion waxes lyrical like poetry written by a candle.

[Birdland]

Rimbaud - Your poetry has a truly Simonized air to it. But will it last the night?

I've filled in the fox's post from this afternoon.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

We are now in the subterranean terrain of the Subway. All are welcome to lead us around and through the labyrinthine paths, to sundry adventures... We hope to find the way out around about Monday/Tuesday.

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

My latest post assumes the presence of Pettygast and the horses. Is that going to cause any problems?

[Rimbaud]

I don't think so. Additionally, I included them anyway smilies/wink.gif Indeed, they may prove one of the main problems with the Underground.

[Diamond18]

I've put up a very bizarre sticky wicket of a post. If you've seen Disney's Jungle Book, you will better understand Halfie and Tofu's discourse.

I do hope I haven't misunderstood the portent behind the ramblings of the last two posts, but I do feel rather like Pimpi at the moment.

[Child of the 7th Age]

A garage sale.....let me at it! Perhaps the balrog is there too?

Yes, I can do a Pettygast post on Sunday, or Monday at the latest if this will work.

[Rimbaud]

I have one small suggestion...that a la Bill the Pony, our Wyrm companion is unable to come on this particular journey. He can crop up again on the other side, easy enough.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Rim, Chrys is already in with us.

You are all welcome to use your imagination for this underground journey. Meet mythical (or Mith-ical, as the case may be) creatures, with or without wings, as you please. Lose your character temporarily if you want, but the only one who will not exit with the group will be Pettygast.

[The Barrow-Wight]

I'm sorry, but being as dense as I sometimes can be, I was unsure of what the 'ticket garden' was all about, so I came up with my own solution for finding tickets. Please forgive me if I wrecked a complicated set-up.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

B-W and all, your posts pose no continuity problems so far. This part of our journey is a free-for-all romp, so take the story anywhere you want! Just keep things consistent with previous posts.

Thanks to all for great posts - I'm having fun reading them! Our stay in Topfloorien will be a bit more structured, as we will have an additional player in there, so please contact me if you have any plotting ideas.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

A slight delay - we will be reaching Topfloorien on Wednesday, so those of you who wish to post underground have another day to do so. If you wish to connect to my post while Pettygast is still with us, do so - Child/Sharon can move her post farther on down if necessary.

[Child of the 7th Age]

Esty,

Thank you for the reprieve.

Pettygast's creator is nursing a ten-year old daughter who is a bit out of sorts, as she is running a 103 degree fever.

I will indeed erase my save, and take advantage of the extra day to do my post on Tuesday.

sharon

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Here is the time plan for the next posts, since plot twists necessitate some coordination:

Child/sharon will be posting Pettygast's exit by 6 pm (EST).

I will then post the group's exit from the underground at that time.

Mithadan will post as Gravlox during the evening.

I will post our entrance to Topfloorien tomorrow morning (CET).

Anyone wishing to post underground should do so before 6 pm EST then - thanks!

[Child of the 7th Age]

I have finished posting and left you folk in a bit of a pickle. I think you will be glad to see your cameo wizard leave town.

I have made reference to cheap replica copies of the one Ring and a used suit of Mithril formerly belonging to the Baggins family. (I couldn't resist!)

In view of the chronology, do I need to edit this, or can I get away with it? Although I must admit, I have a gut feeling that a tale like this really doesn't have a very firm date!

I will edit if needed and substitute earlier treasures.

Pettygast

[ January 28, 2003: Message edited by: Child of the 7th Age ]

[Kuruharan]

Hmmm...Balrogs have whips and thongs?

I see lots of "fun" that could be had with that.

No wonder balrogs were so cranky. These might be the "treacherous gifts" that Morgoth used to ensnare the balrogs in the first place.

So the next great question of Tolkien scholars everywhere is "Did Balrogs wear thongs?"

This will probably come up again later...

We now return you to your regularly scheduled discussion thread.

[ January 28, 2003: Message edited by: Kuruharan ]

[Rimbaud]

Sounded like a half-way decent party, anyway.

Good post, COT7A.

[Birdland]

So the next great question of Tolkien scholars everywhere is "Did Balrogs wear thongs?"
Well now, they're often wearing Speedos. (But the real name is Mr. Earl)

[Child of the 7th Age]

Bird,

I hope not! What have I done? Whips and thongs seemed like such 'nice' accessories for our dear friends.

Sharon

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Excuse me for interrupting this most interesting topic, but our fellow/galship has now entered the Park of Topfloorien. The next post will be a cameo by a new player, so please await it before posting. Further instructions will follow after that.

As always, I tremendously enjoyed reading all of your posts. Let me move backwards through them with my comments, which are by no means exhaustive!

Mith, shades of Lassie and Baywatch - I'm still laughing! Gravlox seems to have a soft side to him that we haven't seen before!

Child/Sharon, nice exit for Pettygast! We hope to hear of his further shopping adventures when you have time to post. As to the continuity problems your reference to the One Ring, Frodo and Bilbo could create, I don't think we have to worry about them. Our consistency is not quite up to Tolkien's anyway...

Diamond, the "Imbecile of an Elf" lines are great! Whatever shall we do if Vogonwë cannot write poetry after being deprived of his bottle?!

Birdie, your "Mithril-Munching Moria Mice!!!!" seemed to have made such an impact that all players were silenced in awe for a day or two! smilies/wink.gif

Kuruharan, Chrysophylax' very secret diary cracked me up! I do hope he didn't lose it so that we will get additional chapters sometime!

B-W, what fun with the goblin ticket-agent! Can't say Orogarn Two didn't make an heroic effort!

Rim, nice contribution to the ongoing wings debate with your Porterog! My favorite pun this time is the one about not wanting to let decisions be made by a bush! smilies/wink.gif The poetry was ... interesting.

Squatter, what a shame that we couldn't further our acquaintance with Errol! As always, it is a joy to read your skilfully written lines.

I look forward to all of your next posts! Hope you’re having as much fun as I am!

[Mithadan]

The 10 cent word for the day is "dichotomy". smilies/tongue.gif

[Bêthberry]

Roll over Shakespeare and tell Tolkien the news.

The first post for Saladriel, the Lady of Topfloorien, is made. Feel free to post your initial responses to Careless Gardenhon.

Saladriel will have two more posts, inviting all to look into her bowl, and, after each recounts his vision, then gifting each companion before the fellow/galship moves on.

Bethberry

[ January 29, 2003: Message edited by: Bethberry ]

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Great introductory post, Bethberry, and welcome to the game! We're happy to have you with us, or more accurately, to be able to visit you. This is everyone's opportunity to explore the realm of Saladriel, get to know the handbunnies better smilies/wink.gif , or go shopping! I look forward to your posts.

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Great post Bethberry. Logic and proportion have fallen. smilies/wink.gif

I've left some scope at the end of mine for the joke that was mentioned to me on chat a while ago. You know who you are, all ye who planned it.

[Rimbaud]

Most wondrous additions to the Tale, all. The ghost-writing continues, this time from the chapter The Mirror of Galadriel.

[ January 30, 2003: Message edited by: Rimbaud ]

[Bêthberry]

A perfect pickup on Saladriel, Kuruharan, if I may be allowed that term. It leads quite nicely into my next post. smilies/smile.gif

Great work on the setup, Squatter. And wonderful to see someone familiar with Aliciel. I've decided to edit "White Rabbit" to "White Hare". Somehow seems to foreshadow better. smilies/smile.gif

Bethberry

[ January 30, 2003: Message edited by: Bethberry ]

[Kuruharan]

Bethberry-

I was not sure who was supposed to start on our little game, so I figured that I would wait for you.

[Bêthberry]

Plot lines are being stirred, not shaken, and gamers have notified Estelyn that they won't be posting over the weekend.

Thus, I won't post Saladriel and Celery's next spot of entertainment for the Questers until Sunday, probably. Roll over Lewis Carroll and tell Tolkien the news.

Until then, enjoy the shops and hops of Topfloorien.

Bethberry

[Diamond18]

Whew, I got behind there, I know! Of course, thanks to Squatter that didn't mean you had to be deprived of an excellently horrible Vogonwë poem (it was perfect, loved it! smilies/smile.gif ).

After reading my post you may just be curious to see what Pimpiowyn's dream dress (http://www.kojiroabe.com/rotk/arwen.jpg) looks like. It is still my stubborn belief that Elves don't wear red. smilies/tongue.gif

[Estelyn Telcontar]

*sobs* Precioussss dressss, we wantsss it! (Look here (http://www.warofthering.net/movies/photos/calendarfull/imagepages/image5.shtml) for another scrumptious view of that culmination of costume-making creativity!) It should have been mine! It will be mine! When's my birthday? And does it have pocketses, my preciousss?

Now why did I have to go and make my heroine a blond Elf?!

[ February 01, 2003: Message edited by: Estelyn Telcontar ]

[Diamond18]

I have up the second fit of Vogonwë's epic. I hope you can stand it, but you may need a horsehead pendant to survive. Or maybe it's just writing it that makes my brain feel like mush. On the upside, it's dinnertime now.

[Bêthberry]

What? Me plagiarize?

Not a ghost of a chance.

Saladriel invites all members of the Itship to look into the Mirror of her Salad Bowl and tell what therein they do see.

Bethberry

[Kuruharan]

My compliments to the writers. I could barely breathe through these last additions I was laughing so hard.

Bethberry-

Kuruharan will be making some of his business offers sometime tomorrow. smilies/wink.gif

[Mithadan]

I don't plaigerize either. I just borrow liberally. In this case, Act 2, Scene 2, Romeo and Juliet.

Oh dear... smilies/eek.gif

[Kuruharan]

Eeeuuuuuwwwww! smilies/biggrin.gif I'll bet Halfullion and Orogarn will be just seething!!! smilies/wink.gif

[Diamond18]

Ye gawds, great golliwogs and eeeeyyyaaa, Mithadan, you are SICK!

*shudders*

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Come on, people, haven't you read all the "Are orcs immortal?" and "Can orcs repent?" threads?? smilies/wink.gif Who knows what *may* have happened? smilies/tongue.gif

[Birdland]

I don't think Diamond is concerned so much about whether Gravlox can repent. I think she's more concerned about whether that unfortunate skin condition - that all Orc-flesh is heir to - can be cleared up.

"Oh we are livin' in a Material World,
And she is a Material Girl!"

[Diamond18]

Me? Material? *innocent look* I have a vivid imagination, and am plagued with the ability to visualize the written world very well. smilies/tongue.gif And anyway, even if he does repent, I don't know what you are going to tell Pimpiowyn. She's been looking forward to her revenge for a looooong time.

I have up Vogonwë's encounter with the salad bowl. Pimpi's will be separate post.

[ February 04, 2003: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

[Birdland]

Hey, ya gonna let a carbuncle or two stand in the way of true love?

[Diamond18]

Does this mean Pimpi doesn't get to kill him or watch him be killed? *pouts*

[Bêthberry]

Maybe Pimpi can kill him softly with Vogonwë's song, Diamond. smilies/wink.gif

[Rimbaud]

There's a nominal prize for whoever gets the poem quoted. smilies/wink.gif

[Bêthberry]

Alas, alack and welladay:

The Unfaithful Shepherdess

From Byrd?s Songs of Sundry Natures, 1589

Anonymous


WHICH that the sun with his beams hot
Scorchéd the fruits in vale and mountain,
Philon the shepherd, late forgot,
Sitting beside a crystal fountain,
In shadow of a green oak tree 5
Upon his pipe this song play?d he:
Adieu Love, adieu Love, untrue Love;
Untrue Love, untrue Love, adieu Love;
Your mind is light, soon lost for new love.

So long as I was in your sight 10
I was your heart, your soul, and treasure;
And evermore you sobb?d and sigh?d
Burning in flames beyond all measure:
?Three days endured your love to me,
And it was lost in other three! 15
Adieu Love, adieu Love, untrue Love,
Untrue Love, untrue Love, adieu Love;
Your mind is light, soon lost for new love.

Another Shepherd you did see
To whom your heart was soon enchainéd; 20
Full soon your love was leapt from me,
Full soon my place he had obtainéd.
Soon came a third, your love to win,
And we were out and he was in.
Adieu Love, adieu Love, untrue Love, 25
Untrue Love, untrue Love, adieu Love;
Your mind is light, soon lost for new love.

Sure you have made me passing glad
That you your mind so soon removéd,
Before that I the leisure had 30
To choose you for my best belovéd:
For all your love was past and done
Two days before it was begun:?
Adieu Love, adieu Love, untrue Love,
Untrue Love, untrue Love, adieu Love; 35
Your mind is light, soon lost for new love.



Bethberry, with a little help from her friends

[Rimbaud]

Wow, I am impressed. Good sleuthing, Ms. Drew! Your prize is...to be announced later.

[Diamond18]

Umm... Why is it that neither Earnur nor Pimpi got to look into the salad? I was waiting for Squatter's post so I could make Pimpi look last (she was going to eat the salad, if you must know...but after Mith's post I had some new ideas. Eat my pathos, Gravlox!!!!!) but we seem to have been skipped. There was going to be a big to-do with Lopitoff whinnying too, so it just won't be the same recounted in the light of a new day.

But right now I have to be off to work and won't be home till tonight (B-D time).

[Bêthberry]

There's no skipping, Diamond. You can still post. smilies/smile.gif And we are expecting Squatter to post later today. This hare thing is just a little subplot. The plot lines of the Bowl and the Romance and the hares can run together.

[Mithadan]

If you like, I can edit it into someone else's post, Diamond. Just PM it to me and tell me where to put it.

[Diamond18]

I thought from Estelyn's post that it was the morning of the next day, already. http://forum.barrowdowns.com/ubb/icons/icon5.gif

But that's alright; it doesn't really matter, 'cause I can add Pimpi's vision to my Vogonwë post, as I won't have her eat the whole salad as I'd originally planned. Or maybe she won't eat any... I haven't decided yet. I'll edit it later tonight and let you know. It shouldn't effect the posts that come after it, and I'll leave something for Earnur to look at (a leaf, a crouton, a puddle of dressing, who can say? smilies/evil.gif )

[Diamond18]

Done and done. I appended it onto the end of Vogonwë's vision, complete with product placement.

Do forgive the demented nature of the humor. And a disclaimer: whatever adjectives I used to describe a certain character does not extend to the opinion I hold of the author of said character. God bless you, every one, and especially the wonderful people who invented the thesaurus. smilies/biggrin.gif

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Great posts, everyone! If I were to attempt a summary of everything I enjoyed, I could just copy and paste the whole thread, a convenient but rather redundant undertaking. I will limit myself to some highlights, in no particular order, and some general comments on the plotline.

Yes, Diamond, Pimpi will see her parents revenged in due time and probably differently than expected… She is a bloodthirsty little Quarterling, isn’t she?! Looks like she’s seen too many R-rated dreams at a much too early age. As to Vogonwë, we now know who’s to blame for his awful poetry! Fit the Second was amazing as always; wonder what the topic of Fit the Third will be!

Recommended reading for Dead Mother’s Month: Tolkien the Matricide (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=1&t=001503), started by our very own Birdie.

Yes, the timeline is not quite coherent, but that’s because of the switches in point-of-view between the various characters, so it’s not really a big deal. We can edit if there’s a genuine problem somewhere. Besides, we can blame any inconsistencies on the Midsummer Night’s madness that has befallen the company – it’s all the Salad Bowl’s fault! *points at Saladriel smilies/wink.gif * Though we eagerly await Earnur’s halluci – um, I mean, vision, those who wish may continue to post any musings, wanderings or sidetrack plots they can contrive.

I’m not sure how quickly we will wrap these developments up, but the culmination will be a gift-giving scene before we leave Topfloorien and head for Mirkwood, destination Gol Dulldor. Let’s hunt some Orc!

As for Orcs – my, my, Mithadan! If that Hammock had windows, they would be steaming! Well, the ‘borrowed’ poetry gives Gravlox class; we certainly don’t need more original poems in this story! smilies/wink.gif But who will have the heart to execute Pimpi’s revenge on this sympathetic foe?

Et Tofu too, Rim?? We do have some mighty intelligent horses on this Quest, though Halfie shows more of the same quality when discussing literature than we had expected from him! And our pun specialist was busy as always…

Kuruharan, thanks for the explanation of the Dwarven origins of that most necessary of male accessories, Duck Tape! What a great marketing opportunity, in addition to the replica of Lopitoff that we will be manufacturing. Look for these items in the Barrow-Treasures Store! (Orogarn’s T-shirt already available)

Double, double, B-W – while we’re waxing Shakespearian! Great dialogue between Two and Too! Now we’re curious – who is ‘he’?? As to your previous post, wonderful eloquence from Orogarn!

Birdie, your fox posts are always a treat! Your clever names for shops and description of the Mall are so cute! Special mention goes to your Old Forest scene, with the appearance of TB! Let no one say we left book characters out of our story – who knows, maybe even Glorfy will show up!

“the Lay of Lús-scrú”, Squatter – wonderful! And ‘wondrous’ poetry too, while we’re at it. Looking forward to Etceteron’s next post…

Last but by no means least, I would like to thank Bethberry for setting up the whole atmosphere, scenes and plot development in Topfloorien. A special favorite line of mine is the one about Saladriel’s ‘historical revisionist writer’ – wonder if Tolkien would recognize himself in that description? smilies/wink.gif Great name inventions and some very clever ghost writing adaptations make your posts enjoyable reading. Since Bb will be doing more cameo appearances, we won’t be losing her when we leave Topfloorien, fortunately!

Looking further into real life future, I would like the first part of our story, which mostly concerns the revenge on the Orcs, to finish some time before Easter, to give us all a well-deserved holiday break. After that, we can continue with Part Two, which will be about the search for the Entish relics. I’d appreciate your ideas of RL time planning for that – I do hope you are enjoying this as much as I am and want to keep going!

[ February 05, 2003: Message edited by: Estelyn Telcontar ]

[Diamond18]

Yes, well, I thought this RPG needed a bit of good old-fashioned gratuitous violence and cheesy B-movie horror schtick to keep the attention of the American audiences. smilies/wink.gif It's the repressed Shieldmaiden of Rohan side of her heritage coming through, as well: blood and glory in battle and all that. She eagerly and unsympathetically awaits the opportunity to observe the death of her foe.

[Bêthberry]

Hey Estelyn, don't blame me for this state of, um, affairs. I had a little help from friends setting it up, and, anyways, it was all your idea in the first place, right? smilies/wink.gif

Bethberry

[Birdland]

Hurray for Pimpiowyn! Queen of the Adjectives!

[Estelyn Telcontar]

I say we blame Shakespeare - he won't mind!

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Bethberry has written a great post finishing off our adventures in Topfloorien! Now we can comment on the gifts and ride off in the general direction of Workmud, the Sullied Silvan Realm, wherein lies Gol Dulldor. We do have to cross the (insert punny name for Anduin River here) to get there. Any ideas?

The adventures in the Forest will be less structured again, so feel free to plunder the Hobbit for ideas on foes and other happenings. We don't have to get to Gol Dulldor too fast. Will we meet with Orcs on the way? Will there be giant spiders? Tune in and post for further adventures of the Fellow/Galship!

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Something leads me to the conclusion that the spiders will lack some of the intelligence and organisation shown by Tolkien's arachnids. Several ideas suggest themselves, and now I need only a word that spiders might use for an embarrassing phobia.

Thanks for the flask, Bethberry. Lord Etceteron will treasure it always, as will Wylkynsion, which has never liked its annual sojourn at the pawnbroker's. I shall endeavour to make something of the inscription later: I expect it has to be read at closing time in the maker's favourite tavern to work properly. That's why these mithril flasks never really caught on: nobody wants to read cryptic and doom-laden fragments when they're drinking.

[ February 10, 2003: Message edited by: Squatter of Amon Rudh ]

[Diamond18]

Vogonwë thanks you from the bottom of his heart for the indispensible raspberry wreath, good Bethberry. Now nothing shall stand in his way of a good long recitation, lest it be actual violence done to his personage.

I'm not quite sure what Pimpi should do with her beans. Are they for snacking or planting or music? I'm feeling quite dense at the moment... smilies/confused.gif

Estelyn, do you want me to edit my previous posts in which I used the name "Mirkwood"? I didn't alter it because I've always found it quite amusing just the way it is. smilies/smile.gif But we must have consistency, eh? smilies/wink.gif

Not only will we meet spiders, methinks, but a misbegotten kidnapping at the hands of a hapless cousin of Thranduil might be in order. smilies/wink.gif

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Well, since we've changed the other place names, I thought it would be a good idea to alter Mirkwood too - not quite an anagram, but something similar... Yes, please do edit the previous posts - sorry, I didn't come up with a good name earlier. I will try to update the list of names to make it easier to ensure consistency.

[Kuruharan]

I'm afraid that I had to do...something...disruptive... smilies/evil.gif

I hope I'll be forgiven.

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

It was about time. Well done. Now at last I have encountered an enemy more deranged than my own sword. Shame he beat me really.

[The Barrow-Wight]

Sorry for delays/absence. Work is long and tiring over the last week. Should get better in a few days.

[Rimbaud]

Mischief comes in the night, a fleeting shadow. smilies/biggrin.gif

[Diamond18]

Bravo, everyone! Blood, battle, decapitations! Pimpi admires you warrior folk greatly. Though the new hairstyle might be too horrific even for her to dwell on. I hope Earnur got Wylkynsion back.

I have gone back and changed my references to Mirkwood to Workmud. Squatter, in your post on January 16th, 8:01 AM, you used the term. "The self styled Poet Larueate of Mirkwood." I didn't notice it anywhere else.

I also changed Thranduil to Throngduil (Geppettuil is the third cousin thrice removed of King Throngduil) and Dale to Chippendale. Earlier I had also referred to "Mirkwood" as "The Forest Formally Known as Greenwood the Untreated Lumber Yard." If you don't get that, it's probably because it's a very lame pun. Apologies.

I have not as yet used "Rohan" in the RPG, though I did in the discussion, but if the occasion arises, may I suggest "Rofee"?

I used "the Shire" a couple times. I can't think of a suitable spoof, as it being only one syllable it's hard to change it and not make it unrecognizable. Any suggestions and I'll change. That should make no verbatum place names from Tolkien.

I'll try and update my post later in the afternoon. If anyone wants to post before, I plan on ending it just under the bows of Workmud. I might end up going deeper if no one does post, but you can use that as a starting point.

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Well, Diamond, whatever the sword itself might want, Rimbaud has successfully killed and coiffed the entire pirate crew, so it's stuck with me.

[Diamond18]

That's good to hear.

My post is up.

[Birdland]

(Sigh) Didn't anybody pick up on my homage to a certain mid-20th century Irish author? smilies/frown.gif

Of course, mullets are nice, too.

[ February 13, 2003: Message edited by: Birdland ]

[piosenniel]

Bird

LYNCH
(Laughs) And to such delights has Metchnikoff inoculated anthropoid apes.

FLORRY
(Nods) Locomotor atataxy.

ZOE
(Gaily) O, my dictionary.

LYNCH
Three wise virgins.

******************

I rejoice in your choyce!

[Birdland]

(Eeeehhhh!) Ooooh, sorry, Pio! Wrong.

Hint - the krakens' names are Vladamir and Estragon.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Birdie - 'Waiting for Godot' - and I loved your post! It's always a pleasure when our resident critter expert writes! smilies/smile.gif

[Diamond18]

I must fess up that a certain part of Vogonwë's Third Fit was stolen from Lewis Carroll and an old post by Kuruharan about signatures, though I'm sure the former plagiarism was more obvious than the latter.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

[ February 14, 2003: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

[Birdland]

Only steal from the best!

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Hmph. Nobody ever plagiarises me. smilies/wink.gif

I've edited the post you mentioned, Diamond. I didn't notice that one the first time I read your post.

Is there any sort of convention on whether we're using actual Middle-earth place names or making them all up ourselves? I see that the RPG is tending towards the latter course, but I've been chucking real names in there left, right and centre so if I'm wrong I need to know before there are too many references to track down.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Great posts again, all! I hope I find time to comment a bit more on them later on. Just a brief answer to Squatter's question now - it doesn't matter if there are actual ME names in the story. We can always edit if there is a change later on. I do like the changed names, just for the fun of playing with the words, and because it fits the parody idea. I will try to post what we have so far - I've been collecting.

Merisu's post is up, with an opening for a subplot at the end. All others, please wait to see if Rim or Mith use it. You are welcome to post adventures with your own character(s) while searching in the forest.

[Diamond18]

I assume you meant we could go ahead and post as long as we kept our characters away from the camp, so I've put up the beginning of Vogonwë and Pimpi's food gathering foray. It's the 100th post. I feel so, so special. It can be moved if need be, however.

And I wonder if anyone will catch the allusion to a certain song?

[ February 15, 2003: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

[Birdland]

Oooooh! Oooooh! I know! "I Heard It Through the Grapevine"!

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

In case you're interested, I've added another small joke to Etceteron's release from bondage. I promise to put all of the jokes in first time on the next one.

[Rimbaud]

Squatter, you are a genius. I haven't laughed so hard since the last time I laughed really really hard. It wouldn't be an understatement or even an overstatement to mention that this was a sentence. And more aptly, that your post was the one of the funniest I have read smilies/smile.gif. Particularly liked the 'untimely ripp'd' spoof, although there are too many tidbits to quote all herein. Good work.

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

From you, Rimbaud, that is praise indeed. I'm flattered.

Now it's time to stop licking each other's boots and do some roleplay. smilies/wink.gif

[Diamond18]

Quite so Birdie, congratulations, you have won...nothing. Ah well, enjoy your not-prize.

And I second Rim's sentiments. I lick your boots without shame, Squatting One.

Ah, and Bethberry, a double lick is in order, I see! I simply must scurry off gleefully to do something with this.

[ February 15, 2003: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

[Bêthberry]

O Lando L'oréal Bloom arrives. What are his words worth? What intimations shall he woolf down?

Squatter, I shall c&p this post to accompany your words on the OhLaLaLuthien thread. smilies/biggrin.gif

Diamond, Vogonwë rediscovers his roots. I hope you approve.

Bethberry

[Diamond18]

I do indeed, it's about time Vogonwë is faced with a little comely competition. As promised I've done what I scurried off to do, and had great fun doing it, too.

Rim, Quixotic and Simian? It's just too much. You are too funny.

[ February 16, 2003: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Squatter, I shall c&p this post to accompany your words on the OhLaLaLuthien thread.

That's not a bad idea you know, Beth. Why don't you? I would, but I'm already in trouble there. smilies/wink.gif

My, what a night it was last night. Whilst you appear determined to give me a permanent blush your own posts were all fantastic as well: Rim, your insane punning, rhyming and alliteration are an inspiration to us all, not to mention the following gem:

Halfullion was a Hero. Not in the inaccurate sense of being heroic, but more in that sense of unavoidable and undignified Fate.

Bethberry, much trouble though I had finding your post (I forgot that you'd saved your place. D'oh!), I really enjoyed it. The surrealism of your posts is unsurpassed. This had me rolling in the aisles:

Then, a swayingly swinging grapevine swung down, ridden by a lithe, long-limbed, long-fingered , long-haired non-gender-specific vision of pulchritudinous pleasantness whose long locks trailed clouds of Gloréal hues.

Mithadan: Gravlox demonstrates again that in dream all is possible. How many weapons can he hold at once? What a guy.

And last, but by no means least, there were two gems from Diamond. I can't even choose a quotation from those, so I shall have to fall back on the dreaded Black Speech: rofl

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Great posts, everyone! Whoa is me - I can hardly keep up! Details later, just one request - please don't have your characters come back to the camp yet.

[Kuruharan]

Kuruharan displays his rather unseemly side in his latest episode.

But it is all for the benefit of the Quest, of course. smilies/wink.gif

[Bêthberry]

My dear Diamond,

Why should the others have all the fun? smilies/wink.gif

Bethberry

[Diamond18]

Fun with fangirls! Parodies on the Downs just wouldn't be the same without them.

Poor Pimpi, beset by spiders and hopelessly drugged to sleep. She needs a hero of some sort. I myself shall be busy rescuing Vogonwë.

[Bêthberry]

Yes, indeed, Diamond! smilies/wink.gif

Birdie, I absolutely love your critters. smilies/biggrin.gif And I have to say that when I lifted Shakespeare's weirdest stage direction, I never imagined it would lead to such a great post from you.

And now I'm wondering if I should edit 'fangirls' to be 'fanmaidens.' The behaviour is so, um, unmaidenly, though. smilies/wink.gif

Bethberry

[ February 17, 2003: Message edited by: Bethberry ]

[Mithadan]

I must confess I am in awe of this recent spate of posts. If I were to break this post into individual congratulations and statements of admiration, it would be far too long.

But have events come to this? The long foreshadowed but unforeseen breaking of the Itship? Where have I read of such events before...?

[Rimbaud]

Mith, fantastic use of one of The Clash's best songs. Enjoyed that one, and the gentle nod to the currrent avatar. Nicely done.

Further agreeing with you all, agreeably, you are all brilliant and very funny. Credit to Esty for assembling such a merry and bright bunch, I have rarely chuckled more often reading an RP/fan-fiction. This story has added depths now too, as well as the surface hilarity.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Feel free to post; those who are able may return to the campsite, though they will find it deserted, except for a sleeping dragon... Will someone decide to go ahead with cooking even though Merisu is missing? There are no signs of violence, so no suspicion as yet.

It does look like there is a temporary breaking of the Fellow/galship, but we will all meet at Gol Dulldor soon. Approach carefully - Lord Sourone's eye never sleeps! smilies/wink.gif

[Diamond18]

Vogonwë will be unable to return to the camp anytime soon, as he is, um, occupied. smilies/wink.gif

I've gleefully plunderd the Third Chapter of TTT for my latest madness. Stay tuned for Part Two, when the Fangirls stumble upon an Unexpected Party. Yes, I'm having too much fun with this, Bethberry.

Mithadan, how fortunate that Romeox caught himself before throwing that rock!

You are all hilarious, and most inspiring. Kudos, congratulations, grovelling admiration, etc.

[ February 17, 2003: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Pimpi has been rescued, so there are now a sleeping dragon and a sleeping Quarterling at the camp. And a sleeping authoress here - good night! More tomorrow...

[Birdland]

Yes, the Itship has been sundered. But what will happen to our plucky sentient firearm? Will he be reunited with his long, lost kin(dling)? Can you get Super Glue in Workmud?

Hot tub party at Gravlox's! B.Y.O.F.B.L.! (Bring your own flask of burning liquid.)

[Bêthberry]

Esty, don't tell me that Romeorc was once a photographer for Mid Earth Geographic! Did an article on the Bridges of Workmud County?

Bethberry

[ February 18, 2003: Message edited by: Bethberry ]

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Bb, if so, I suspect he had to hide the camera from his men - they wouldn't have understood a gadget that wasn't intended to kill someone. But will Merisu have to worry about compromising snapshots??

[Bêthberry]

I promise you one day, Squatter, I shall plagairize from you as I have shamelessly here from a shameless thread of Rimbaud's.

And I must acknowledge the source of Vogonwë's falling strophe, mAlice's great site: Gothic Gardening (http://charon.gothic.net/~malice/)

I leave to Diamond true creative control over our poet's verse.

Bethberry

[ February 18, 2003: Message edited by: Bethberry ]

[Mithadan]

*sniff, sob. Alas!

[Estelyn Telcontar]

I’ve been enjoying rereading all your posts to finally write my comment – thanks for all the great writing! Besides the liberal use of alliteration, what strikes me most is that the character development is taking on depth. Like the Hobbits in the original LotR, they have grown, and it’s interesting to see them taking on life of their own, along with plot twists in unexpected directions.

Kuruharan, you certainly took the group in an unexpected direction with the River Pirate episode - nothing to forgive – it’s fun! After the sultry atmosphere of Topfloorien, some action was needed for a change of pace. And now you’ve turned up another piece of the Ent – along with some horrible yet highly amusing rhyming!

Mithadan, Gravlox has indeed become a fascinating character – what prowess with weapons, at least in his dreams! Awwww, poor Holdit – like his movie colleague, he turns up at the wrong battle, with fatal results. Strange, three Elves dead, and Gravlox didn’t even touch them? Is he turning into a good guy?? smilies/eek.gif

Squatter, besides the Jabberwocky references, which I liked, it was interesting to find out more about Earnur’s history – the sad story of his lost Lúthien-esque love with the acerbic name makes us sympathize with his escapist habits. As to the spider, lucky thing that he met one of the females, huh?!

Birdie, where do you get those great critter ideas? Your posts are always a special treat! First the Kraken, then the faux-bears, with their talk of half-Beorns and born Beorns…

Rimbaud, I loved your nod to the Hobbit, with the story of the invention of Basketball! Halfie the heroic hairdresser has struck terror into our hearts with his pictures and links. As always, your puns are wonderful – “curl up and dye”!! Great names for the Elven languages too – Quixotic and Simian!

Diamond, I am consistently amazed at the lengthy poems you invent for Vogonwë – Fit the Third was as, um, interesting as always! I especially liked the reference to the ‘Walrus and the Carpenter’, with Kuruharan’s amendment, as taken from my old signature! The cousin with the royal welcome amused me – we are mixing scenes and characters from the books and movies with impunity, aren’t we?! LOL at the use of the Black Tongue during the capture of the Elven males.

Bethberry, nice to have you back as our next cameo character, O Lando L’oréal Bloom! The linguistic prowess of your posts, especially the amazing alliteration, was a knockout! I chuckled at the fangirls’ names and the ‘quality’ of their Elvish! And where on earth did you get the inspiration for that strange agent’s name, PeeJay13? smilies/wink.gif

B-W, we understand if you’ve not had the time to post – as far as we’re concerned, Orogarn Two is in the Forest somewhere, hunting fowls – we think. We hope to hear from him whenever you are able to write again.

To finish, here’s a list of a few of my favorite quotes:
*BOP* *SMACK* *SHOVE* *KICK* *TOSS* [shades of animated Batman!]

a blade that was the terror of three continents and thousands of temporary incontinents

mis-spelling his own stream of consciousness

the sky did things that no self-respecting atmosphere should even know about and the ground chose a bad moment to take up ballet

Windósil, the sword-that-was-on-sale

fondle folicles, brush bouffants, to pay the toupe

masculine martiality as a malevolent malpropism maliciously miring him in mores of mild moral malfeasance

pursuing the peatmossed pediments and purloining puffballs

primly plucking the plump produce from its voluminous vines

We know not now the like of our discussions of eld, the devastating wit, the pedantic jab, the po-faced oneupmanship, the arcane analysis, the sheer delight of sharing line upon line of the most obscure quotations from the ancient texts

sullying them with vain and empty ceremonies and forcing clerical witnesses upon their private rites

delicate hunting horn with the pink "Hello Kitty" motif

there were members of one or two different websites present, and they could not understand one another’s chatspeak

[ February 19, 2003: Message edited by: Estelyn Telcontar ]

[Birdland]

Oh, Merisu, why are you running away? Everyone thought you liked your Orcs to be "butch".

OK, so Gravlox can't throw arrows, and the slaying was kind of "once-removed" (kind of like a Disney movie), but the poor guy's trying!

[Diamond18]

Vogonwë can throw arrows. *le smirk* smilies/tongue.gif

Though, I must admit, even Pimpi would have been impressed by Gromeorx's skill at the not-killing technique.

Sources of plagiarism in latest post:

The Worst Poetry in the Galaxy (http://www.corpses.comedynetuk.com/editnews/hhgttg.html) (With thanks to Squatter for the link).

Green and Gray (http://www.spiritsword.com/bgweb/side07.htm)

[ February 19, 2003: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

[Estelyn Telcontar]

To all members of the Fellow/galship:
Please regroup at the camp - Pimpi and Chrys are already there, Kuru, O Lando and Merisu are heading there. We need to discover that Halfie is missing and go to his rescue.

[Bêthberry]

Just hamming around in my latest. Let it be savoured tongue in cheek.

There might be a bit of a confusion with consistency. In my previous post, I had left Vogonwë falling into the arms of the fangirls. He did not attend the meeting with PeeJay13 and Kuruharan.

Kuruharan, I haven't included your character in this post. Do let me know if you wish me to.

Bethberry

[Diamond18]

I'm sorry, I am very stupid. I've fixed it.

I'm also sorry that my party-subplot became so long. I had been hoping to set Vogonwë back to camp in my next post, but I rambled on so much that he didn't even get to talk to Geppettuil yet. So I was going to have that in my next post and set him off at the end, and have him arrive back in the one after that.

But I can shorten it so that he's back in camp by my next post.

[Kuruharan]

Bethberry-

I'm not sure, maybe. I may not be able to get back to the story for another week or so.

[ February 20, 2003: Message edited by: Kuruharan ]

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

As to the spider, lucky thing that he met one of the females, huh?!

Better to be born lucky than rich, Esty. And Earnur's no Croesus.

I am literally just about to disappear onto the RPG to catch up properly and post. I hope it turns out well, as Mr. Underhill is testing the experimental Tolkien Travest-o-meter(TM) on this next one. This could be the beginning of a new era in Tolkien debate and role-play.

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Right. As promised, Earnur is back at the clearing, reunited with his unimpressed mount. He now has some "exotic" herbs with him, so there's plenty of scope for the wrong thing finding its way into the casserole with hilarious results.

Unfortunately I can no longer get into the forum from work, so I can only post at evenings and over the weekend. Bear with me while I con them into thinking this is work. smilies/wink.gif

S

[Kuruharan]

I will be VERY impressed if anyone can tell me where I shamelessly stole most of the material for my latest post.

(Small hint: It is from a genuine journal that recorded somebody's experiences along the American frontier.)

The dates on the entries are according to the Dwarven calendar, which non-Khazad cannot understand (I think).

[Birdland]

Roughing It? Actually I have no idea, and I suppose Twain would have been more loquacious

[Kuruharan]

An excellent guess! Alas, I fear that it is indeed incorrect. Your judgment of the writing styles is keen.

The gentleman in question passed through a number of years earlier. He was also a mariner and has a flower named after him.

(I suspect that I may have just given the answer away.)

[Estelyn Telcontar]

My last post owes a bit of inspiration to a little-known 'Scottish play' by an obscure, out-dated author. Don't even try to guess...

[Bêthberry]

Ah, Kuruharan, I fear I must fail you, despite my gardening lore. My knowledge of American explorers is paltry indeed. However, if you care to swap, I can tell you about Champlain, d'Iberville, the exploits of the NorthWest Company, Tête Jaune, and Alexander MacKenzie. smilies/wink.gif

My post with O Lando leading the Itship hot on the heels of the kidnappers will be up later today. Sorry for the delay--a cold and laryngitis is not conducive to writing.

Bethberry

[Birdland]

Ponce de Leon? Was the dandelion named after Ponce De Leon?

OK, I got nothing.

[Kuruharan]

Champlain, d'Iberville,...Tête Jaune

You are getting closer.

the exploits of the NorthWest Company

Wrong side of the continent.

Alexander MacKenzie

While I must admit that this gentleman's cross-continent travels are most impressive, I fear that the man in question sailed round the world rather than hiked across the continent.

despite my gardening lore

It is quite likely that you know the flower that I have in mind. You probably just don't know where the name came from.

dandelion...de Leon

Ummmm...could be. smilies/wink.gif Alas, he's not the one either.

[ February 24, 2003: Message edited by: Kuruharan ]

[Diamond18]

Flower named after him, eh? Well, the only person I can think of for that is William Forsyth.

Cue the Tchaikovsky music, I've filled in my Save. Love, romance, alcohol and flies. It's not an "extremely short" post like I said. I admit it! They always turn out longer, but I suppose if you dont count the supefluous words it would be closer to my prediction.

And Birdie, pecking out the eyes is my favorite part. smilies/wink.gif

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Wonderful, enjoyable posts again, everyone! The Itship now stands before the fortress of Gol Dulldor, the battle can begin. Will those who want to post (part of) this second-to-last scene of the First Part of our story please let me know, either here or by PM/email? I would definitely like to wrap the story within the next two, maximally three weeks.

[Mithadan]

I will post.

[The Barrow-Wight]

I have finally caught up with reading this lenghty novel and should post very soon. Orogarn Two shall awaken from his stupor!

[Rimbaud]

I have yet to fill in Halfie's 'save' and then have two further posts. More if required.

[Rimbaud]

Nice post, Wight. I have filled in the save. My friends, I have some small requests. Although Halfullion has boldly made his escape, the others do not know this. Dramatic irony, you see. Please do not notice him smilies/smile.gif

He has some part to play in the ensuing battle, as well, so please do not end the vicious warfare until Halfie has posted again. Thank you!

[Birdland]

Oh B-W, that was gross! But I can be grosser. smilies/biggrin.gif

Anyone recognize the famous movie quote in my last post?

[Mithadan]

Six Pun-Wraiths with glazed eyes stood over adding machines tallying up the fines resulting from Rimbaud's last post. Sweat dripped from their brows as the ribbons of paper piled up on the floor...

As for Birdland and BW, ewwwwwwww!

[Diamond18]

I must say, that was some of the most eloquent and witty gross-out humor I've ever read. Orogarn Two returns in style! And any twelve-year-old boys that may be reading say, "Alright, Birdie!" smilies/tongue.gif

Oh, right, and would that be Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, by any chance?

[ February 27, 2003: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

[Birdland]

Ding! We have a winner. And the grand prize is...dinner with the Crebains!

Now if we could only remember who the explorer was with the flower name, we'd be ready for "Jeopardy".

[Mithadan]

I have tagged a post onto the end of Squatter's last (there are some perks to being an admin) regarding the tactics being employed by the Orcs.

Heroes and heroines, Gravlox needs his head to remain on his shoulders for a bit longer. Please keep this in mind as the battle proceeds. Thank you.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

The battle continues; anyone wishing to write a fighting post, please do so by Monday (or PM me to let me know). The climactic scene at Gol Dulldor will be on Tuesday, then we will move on to the finish of Part One. Enjoying all of your posts, as always!

[Diamond18]

What flair in passing, Rim. I just had to write a poem about it. That is, I've filled in my save.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

*As the assembled readers stand in stunned, weeping silence, the Barrow flags are lowered to half-mast for the half-elf.*

[Estelyn Telcontar]

*Estelyn dries her eyes and, remembering that this is "Regular Characters Who Die Suddenly and Unexpectedly" Month, walks slowly to the graves of Maude Flanders and Tasha Yar, pausing briefly in memory.

[Birdland]

Can we put him in a boat and push him off a waterfall, now?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

I see no reason why not. Some sort of clever parody of the Lament of the Winds would appear to be in order, but shouldn't we finish off those Orcs first, or would that be too boring?

[Bêthberry]

*coughs* See my save. *coughs*

I was there first, folks. smilies/wink.gif

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Duly noted. As you can see, I went for the "Kill huge numbers of Orcs in a frenzy of self-glorification" option in my latest. That'll teach these blasted Orcs.

[Bêthberry]

Esty will be doing the funeral and the Wind Song parody.

Please allow me a short post after the funeral to do a conversion/salvation scene for Gravy. Gravy and O Lando will then ride off into the sunset for Hairdressing Haven.

[Diamond18]

That Lament for Halfullion was pure hilaroius genius.

Hail Esty! We, who are about to post, salute you.

[Birdland]

Way to go, Diamond! That's the way to handle the critics.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Any more action planned for the Battle of Gol Dulldor? If not, I'll be concluding it on Tuesday.

[Rimbaud]

A voice, encamped in ephemeral femininity caresses the Discussion thread: Thank you all for your noble words and deeds, honouring my passing from the crop-circles of the world. When the world needs me again, I shall return..." His voice cuts off with a sickening gurgle as a time-vague French-accented voice, rich with failed chivalry said, "Get 'im, Joyeux! For Arthur!"

[Estelyn Telcontar]

We have won the Battle of Gol Dulldor and escaped the ensuing chaos by means of our personal deus ex machina, Chrysophylax. We are now moving southwards by way of the River. Anyone who wishes to post is welcome to go for it!

(PS - Do I hear someone say, why would we need a deus ex machina when we already did all the work ourselves?? Precisely! smilies/wink.gif )

[ March 05, 2003: Message edited by: Estelyn Telcontar ]

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Seems like everyone's tired after the battle. If no one posts "Down by the Riverside" today or lets me know that they intend to do so very soon, I will get us to Parth Galen by tomorrow.

[The Barrow-Wight]

Duh-Duh-DunDunDun! \m/

The whole way through this great introduction of a new nemesis, I couldn't stop singing the following song to myself.

She
by KISS

She walks by moonlight
No one really knows
Enchanted starlight
Never goin' home
I know she's goin' down, goin'
Everybody knows, she's so good

Doin' well for others
She doesn't really know
The powers are within her
As she takes off her clothes
I know she's goin' down, goin'
Everybody knows, she's so good

Doin' well for others
She doesn't really know
The powers are within her
As she takes off her clothes
I know she's goin' down, goin'
Everybody knows, she's so good

Surely, Gene Simmons stole your idea, Bethberry!

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Great posts! Anyone wanting to post, please don't move the group from its present location, as we are awaiting further developments there...

[Birdland]

Way to go, Bethberry! Every good parody can stand a little H. Rider Haggard. Now if we could just work in some Bulwer-Lytton...

[Bêthberry]

Great balls of fire, BW. You have uncovered one of the gaping great holes in my knowledge of rock n roll. I never much paid attention to Kiss other than being aware they existed. But it's uncanny how that song fits.

Good golly, Miss Birdie. It's been years since I read H. Ryder Haggard's She and I had consciously forgotten all about "She-who-must-be-obeyed." What tricks our minds play on us.

I think Squatter is going to handle at least part of the mixup with these mercenaries from Far Harried, but of course everyone can get into the act.

Bethberry

[Diamond18]

I filled in part of my save. It's way back up by the end of the battle, just after Birdie's last crebain post, before the secret diary of Falafel. There, I've made it impossible for you to not be able to find it. No need to thank me. smilies/wink.gif

I know somewhere there was a parody name for Minas Morgul, but I'll be a fried potato if I can find it. Was it by any chance "Minor Moreghoul"? That's what I used.

[ March 10, 2003: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

I've introduced our new friends to the It-ship, but I've left the ending open apart from my own capture. Happy fighting.

[Mithadan]

The rules of our storied forum require elaborate use of language in proper and grammatical english coupled with multi-paragraph posts. But there are very rare occaisions when a shorter post is appropriate. This is one. Sooo...

[Bêthberry]

Your indulgence, I pray, fellow boon companions of the pen and keyboard. She has been quite thoroughly rewritten. Any text is, of course, a plurality, and this one even more so than most.

*curtsies*

[Birdland]

The rules of our storied forum require elaborate use of language in proper and grammatical english coupled with multi-paragraph posts. But there are very rare occaisions when a shorter post is appropriate. This is one. Sooo...
Pithy good.

[Bêthberry]

In Bilbo S. Thompson I've ripped off the gonzo journalism of Hunter S. Thompson, best known for such pieces as Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas: A Savage Journey into the Heart of the American Dream, Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail 72, Hell's Angels: A Strange and Terrible Saga and various articles from Rolling Stone magazine.

[ March 16, 2003: Message edited by: Bethberry ]

[Rimbaud]

...and superbly so, too. Congratulations.

To the rest of ye vagabonds, rapscallions and contumacious bounders, well done. I am greatly enjoying reading this epic Comedy, when I gain the opportunity to browse its vast and eloquent witticisms. Mr. Alighieri would be proud.

[Diamond18]

Oh dear, Kuruharan. In my naïveté, it didn't occur to me that a spanking was a desirable thing. smilies/tongue.gif

Anyway, I was pressed for time Saturday and needed to get that post up there so as not to hinder anyone else, since I've just now been able to return my attention to the computer. So, the post was quite hastily written. What I'm getting around to is that I've just rewritten it a tad to polish it up. A few things have been added here and there throughout. (And of course I've fixed an appalling number of typos and spelling errors).

And yes, I haven't forgotten about Fits the Fourth and Fifth (Getting to Gol Dulldor and Crebain and Uruks and Sourone, Oh My respectively). But I have many, many things to do. And so now I shall proceed to scurry off busily.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Kuruharan and Diamond, good to have both of you back with us again! Though your characters stayed with the Non-Gender-Specific-Ship, there’s no substitute for your own writing.

Kuruharan, great ensemble writing there! You always manage to throw in something surprising – in this case, of all things, a poker game!

Diamond, Pimpi’s recognition scene is wonderful – my favorite part is the Dr. Seuss line! Thanks to an earlier post of yours, we now know what orcish waybread is – available at your local grocer’s. Even earlier, the reproachful Orc’s rant about the parody was hilarious! We look forward to your upcoming poems, of course.

Bethberry, you started the Gregory Peck references – if anyone out there hasn’t yet seen Mithadan’s picture on the Chat Wight page, they should look to know why. Great journalistic writing by Bilbo S., and a fascinating, lushly-written introduction to our nemesis, after finishing O Lando brilliantly and devising a suitable funereal ending for Halfullion!

Squatter, best wishes for Etc.’s captivity and all that ensues there; it’s always a joy to read your descriptions of his battles with enemies and various bottles. You do have me curious about the fate of the equine lovers, I admit. Well-planned and coordinated with Rim the death scene for Halfullion…

Mithadan, congrats on the story’s shortest post! Yes, quite appropriate at that point. Absolute favorite line in the previous post – the Entish foot’s name!! In the posts before that, your descriptions of Orcish battle tactics are most certainly edifying for all who wish to learn.

Barrow-Wight, good to read your post after a break caused, unfortunately, by real life – it can happen to any of us. You picked up on the Park idea very nicely and made the guided tour sound…interesting. smilies/wink.gif

Birdie, thanks to you, we now know the origins of pigeons! Let’s hope they’re happy in crebain heaven, Topfloorien. Their conversations were great fun to read before, during and after the battle.

Thanks to all of you for great battle scenes; I must admit, I was most apprehensive about those, since I have so little battle experience. They turned out wonderful!

Special thanks posthumously to Rimbaud for his Halfullion death scene, which took me, as I suppose most others, completely by surprise! How heroic, how tragic, how full of references! Thanks for a great character and wonderful writing.

We’re on the last stretch of Part One now – hang in there for the climax!

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Earnur has encountered She. The cat is out of the bag and among the pigeons, and my metaphors are mingling joyfully. Over to you.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

The Fellow/Galship has now reached Minus Moreghoul to rescue Etceteron – well, at any rate they have found him. Squatter will be posting next, then it’s open to all for exploring the fortress. After the untimely demise of its mistress, I rather imagine we will find the tower deserted by foes. However, each of the characters will experience some vision of horror, despair or madness within the walls, as befits the residence of She. If possible, those episodes should be written within the next few days. Then we can finish with our final posts at the end of this or at the very latest, the beginning of next week.

Thanks for the She cameo, Bethberry; I have enjoyed your excellent writing greatly, and I’m certain that I’m not the only one. Your way with words is wonderful – oops, alliteration is contagious! smilies/wink.gif Also, you managed to give our RPG a Lloyd-Webber touch, what with the music in your last post! Thanks especially for all the behind-the-scenes planning and coordinating of the various subplots.

Squatter, wonderful post – “penned by Deeproot the Ent and not, for example, a long-haired weirdo in a roleplay” – LOL! Your description of the interior of the tower is very evocative: “scenes of questionable moral content and … even more questionable anatomical accuracy”; “aggressive opulence … like a diamond-studded hammer”; and then the description of the throne and of She – great stuff!

Diamond, your synonym chains are always fun to read, as are your metaphors and your literal embellishments of words used in a different context (“pregnant” was my favorite this time!). Then another poem for our … smilies/rolleyes.gif edification! …to say nothing of the interesting character development of the two least martial persons in the Itship.

I’m looking forward to the next posts!

[Diamond18]

And here I thought "lorry" was some sort of candy. smilies/tongue.gif

[Estelyn Telcontar]

The second paragraph of my latest Merisu post is a quote, almost word-for-word - do I need to ackowledge it, or is it recognized by all?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

I think I have an inkling of the author's identity.

[Diamond18]

Have I ever mentioned that I was in a stage production of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe? Yep, I played two roles: I was one of the White Witch's Hags (oh, shut up) and I was also Queen Susan (you know, at the end when the kids are grown up and speak in Shakesperean).

Anyway, do I have to acknowledge my most recent plagiarism, or is it obvious enough as well? smilies/wink.gif

[ March 27, 2003: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Your silence on the subject speaks volumes, although I'm not usually a fan of Simony (I believe that Art should follow Nature). Nice scene.

[ March 30, 2003: Message edited by: The Squatter of Amon Rûdh ]

[Estelyn Telcontar]

I have written the next post and will put it up in the morning (my time). I'm waiting for those missing posts - if no one posts or puts up a save within the next 8 hours, your chance will be gone! After my post, it will be Diamond's turn, then Mithadan's, then all may put up their closing posts. The end of Part One draweth nigh!

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Sadly I've been grabbed for off-line activities both tonight and tomorrow. I have put up a save, which I shall write with consideration to anything that follows. Essentially it will be Etceteron's acquisition of a new sword and his burial of Vinaigrettiel, probably with some gratuitous heroism thrown in.

[Mithadan]

*emerges from ten (10) days of judiciary branch hell and eyes his "save", while laughing maniacally...drums roll, horns blare...returning again to the living, both virtual and otherwise...Mithadan!

*sound of crickets chirping in an otherwise silent auditorium.

Ummm, anyway, I will fill in my long-languishing "save" post tomorrow morning.

[Mithadan]

My save has been filled in. Diamond...we need to talk...

[Mithadan]

"Ya want a piece of me punk?" just wouldn't have been poetic enough. Therefore, thanks to Shakespeare, specifically, King Lear, Hamlet and Romeo and Juliet.

I will be away starting tomorrow afternoon through sunday night for some well-deserved (in my opinion) R&R. Hopefully, we can finish this bit of nastiness and move on to the happily ever after before then...

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Great posts!! Center stage still belongs to Diamond and Mith...

[Diamond18]

Ah, me. What fools these (im)mortals be.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Wonderful posts, Diamond and Mithadan!! Truly touching and moving scenes there! Squatter's save is filled in as well, so check it out if you haven't read it yet - it's great!

I am writing the next Merisuwyniel post now - it should be up today or tomorrow. After that, you are all free to write your final posts. Merisu will be going to Minus Teeth, the Wight City, after mourning the death of Gravlox - and her mother. You are welcome to come along, but you may conclude in any way you choose. When each has posted, the thread will be closed.

I hope you will all want to join in the second part of the adventure; however, we all deserve a good break after this much work. Writing humour is definitely more difficult than writing seriously! I will let you know when Part Two begins.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

OK, we are awaiting final posts from: Squatter, B-W, Kuruharan, Diamond, and if possible, Child/Sharon (not necessarily in that order). Please let me know by when you intend to post, so that the story thread can be closed after that. Thanks!

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Lord Etceteron's manly decision is made. He will accompany Merisu. The dreaded Black Sword remains somewhere near the grave of Vinaigrettiel, put there by Earnur's First XI trained arm; a dangling plot thread if ever there was one.

[Bêthberry]

Oh sob and alas that Vinaigrettiel's too, too solid flesh did melt and pass from this dark vale. And why is it that in Merisuwyniel romances good guys are recognized only in retrospect?

What a great name, Squatter: "Houses of Bettifordeth," and "Motorless City" also!

Diamond and Mithadan, a terrific denouement. It works so well given the opening dynamic of your characters.

Estelyn, imagine the wardrobe you can take with you to the Wight City. Congratulations on running a fabulously creative game of license if not licentiousness. Will we ever be the same again?

Bethberry

[ April 06, 2003: Message edited by: Bethberry ]

[Diamond18]

I shall be esoteric and say I'll post "very soon". I know what I'm going to write, I just have to write it, you see. Later today maybe. Or not. Soon, anyway.

[Kuruharan]

Kuruharan and Chrysophylax have flown off into the sunset of Part One.

I have enjoyed the story immensely and am looking forward to Part Two.

[Mithadan]

Most excellent fun all!

By the way, has anyone seen Halfullion? There's a group of Pun Wraiths who have been asking about for him...

[Rimbaud]

Halfullion is semi-filling the belly of a large cat at present, as his name indicates.

He has enjoyed reading very greatly.

[Birdland]

Well done, everybody. And thanks for letting me participate in a small way.

Looking forward to "The Itship - Part Tâd"!

[Mithadan]

Sorry, couldn't resist! smilies/evil.gif

Esty, do you want this thread and the RPG locked down in preparation for Elvenhome?

[Diamond18]

Who said it was over? smilies/tongue.gif If you lock it up now we won't be able to fill in our saves.

Sorry about my delay—obviously "soon" and "later today" don't quite mean what they used to... But I've been a bit...dry in the funny department and I didn't want my last post to be as lukewarm as it was shaping up to be. Excuses, excuses! Tomorrow maybe I'll wake up funny.

[Mithadan]

No problem. I'll move my "credits" post as needed.

[Diamond18]

Ah... Regrets, we've had a few, but then again, too few to mention. And in the end, my friends, we did it ooooooouuuuuur waaaaaaay.

Ahem. Nice roleplaying with you stunningly clever people. I look forward to the sequel. smilies/wink.gif

~ Diamond

[Estelyn Telcontar]

"It ain't over till it's over..." or as they say in cultured circles, "The opera isn't over until the fat lady sings." Thanks to all of you for your closing posts - I will try to acknowledge your great writing in a bit more detail within the next few days. I'm going to finish the story with a few fitting lines, then it's done.

Ummm, do we get the long credits with the names of all of our hundreds of fans, or do we have to wait for the extended version??

[Diamond18]

Well, I count Lush and Saurreg. Our other fans haven't seemed to come out of hiding...

We could play their names over and over. smilies/wink.gif

[mark12_30]

Well, I can't say I've read the whole thing... I picked and poked at the end of it. But what I've read, I've guffawed over. The Sound of Silence got me good, among other things.

[Lush]

Dear Cast & Crew of the REB,

Your revenge has robbed me of my innocence, and I go hence in unwholesomeness. I love it, and you!

Kindly Insisting for Simple Sobriety and Exemplary Spotlessness,
Lush.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Suuuuuure, Lush! KISSES to one of our favorite fans too... smilies/tongue.gif

[Birdland]

Apologies for my last post. Apparently I chose from the wrong food group when naming the horses, and I have replaced "Baklava" with "Tofu" - who, after all, goes with everything.

[Mithadan]

Per the request of Esty, the order of the concluding posts has been changed....And I couldn't resist a parting shot. The thread will be closed shortly so if there is any rejoinder, rejoin away...

Thank you all. This has been great fun!

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

It most certainly has. Thanks to all of you for a very enjoyable collaboration, and thanks to our readers for their appreciative comments. It's been great and I'm looking forward to Part II, even though I am glad of the rest.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

This story seems to have more endings than a Tschaikovsky symphony! At any rate, it's finished now; hope everyone enjoyed it as much as I did! Thanks to all for great inventive, humorous writing and for doing such an excellent job with so little effort on my part. I'd hoped to praise you all in detail, but time is short for me now. I look forward to continuing the RPG with all of you!