Please critique this

[The Chosen One]

Critique this poem about the Dunedain.


All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.

[Witch King of Angmar]

I really likes it, I thought it was very good.

[The Chosen One]

Well, I chose it as a poem for a presentation in English II Honors and I am supposed to have other people to critique, I figured who better than you all.

Maybe you could say a little more?

Also what do you think is the most important word in it?

[red]

Most important word: Renewed.

My two cents. smilies/smile.gif

-réd

[The Chosen One]

I have long finished this up. Red, you picked Renewed as did I. It is a very important word in the poem. Good call!

[Eowyn of Ithilien]

my instant thought was renewed...we're all brilliant smilies/wink.gif

[Witch King of Angmar]

Renewed is the most important word, but personally I prefer "reforged."

[Mini Goat]

Agreed, but I am not seeing it in there smilies/smile.gif

Nice word though.

[Elrian]

Renewed does seem to jump out at you. smilies/wink.gif

[Manwe]

'The crownless again shall be king', is this true? Is Aragon realy a king before he get the crown? Or does it means that a man without crown will get a crown and then become king? If that's the case I don't think he's first.

[onewhitetree]

I agree about "renewed," but another word that should at least be considered, for many of the same reasons, is "shall".

Also one should note the repetition of words related to light and warmth, especially compared to the overall message of the poem.

Oh dear, I'll stop before I get too into this. We don't want any overanalysis, by any means!

smilies/rolleyes.gif

[Tarlondeion Of Gondolin]

yeh renewed really fits but I don't reforged has quite the same ring to it.

Renewed shall be blade that was broken
Reforged shall be blade that was broken

see renewed is better

(ps. shouldn't there be a the in there)

[Elanor]

I agree about reforged/renewed. Reforged has a purely literal meaning, while renewed also carries other connotations of new strength, new life, new beginnings, that make the word more powerful and interesting.

The more I read it though, the better the poem seems - I had never really thought about it properly before. Thanks for bringing it up!

[Serevian The Ranger]

It is a good poem the begining sounds like it is about stuff that hardlyor never true or happens just like at the end a king the was uncrowned becoming king agian that would a good poem for the book too

[Lindolirian]

I thinK Renewed and Woken are the most important words... they convey the meaning of the entire poem.

[silme-ranaa]

i think it's the best poem of all in lotr.