comic relief in LotR

[Estelyn Telcontar]

I love the funny moments in the book, so let's share them!
One of my favorites is the scene in the Houses of Healing, where Aragorn and Gandalf want the athelas for healing the wounded.

Aragorn to Ioreth: "Run as quick as your tongue and get me kingsfoil."

Gandalf: "I will ride... with Ioreth... and she shall take me to the woods, but not to her sisters. And Shadowfax shall show her the meaning of haste."

Aragorn to the herb-master: "I care not whether you say now asea aramion or kingsfoil, so long as you have some."

Gandalf to the herb-master: "Go and find some old man of less lore and more wisdom who keeps some in his home!"

Doesn't that crack you up?!

[Lobelia]

I love the comic moments, too! And Ioreth is a hoot. But my favourite is the reaction of the Gaffer to Sam's homecoming:

(to Frodo) 'And I hope my Sam's behaved hisself and given satisfaction?'

'Perfect satisfaction, Mr Gamgee', said Frodo. 'Indeed, if you will believe it, he's now one of the most famous people in all the lands ...'

(I just love the contrast of this, after hundreds of pages of the most dire trials. The Gaffer hears Frodo's reply and continues undeterred:...)

'I takes a lot o'believing, though I can see he's been mixing in strange company. [Indeed!!] What's come of his weskit? I don't hold with wearing ironmongery, whether it wears well or no.'

What I love about this is not only that it's hilariously funny but that it's also somehow very moving at the same time.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

yes, lobelia! Doesn't that evoke a mental picture of a hobbit at Mark's and Spencer's:
"It's so heavy and uncomfortable!"
Salesman: "But it wears well!"

[Lush]

I laughed out loud at the part when Pippin and Merry greet the Riders at Isengard, and Gimli's reaction to them ("Where did you come by the weed, you villians? Hammer and tongs!"), as well as Legolas' amusement ("...I would sooner learn how they came by the wine."). It was a much-needed moment of comic relief after all the bloody doings, dead orcs, and howling wolves.

[Thingol]

There are so many funny moments in The Scouring of the Shire. The Scouring of the Shire is arguably the best chapter in The Lord of the Rings because of Tolkien's juxtaposition of humor and profound sadness in the chapter. My personal favorite is when Rosy says to Sam that he better not leave his master now that things are just beginning to look dangerous. Although like Lush, I laughed out loud when the company of Rohan find Merry and Pippin in front of the Orthanc.

[Lush]

The ability to create a flowing mix of sadness and humor is the mark of a true writer (remember Gloucester falling down, and Lear dressed in flowers in Will Shakespeare's King Lear). Three cheers for Tolkien.

[Aralaithiel]

What a great thread! Actually, I am still howling with laughter over the movie where they are crossing the Khazad-Dum and Gimli says "Nobody tosses this dwarf!"
Now my quest begins to fondly recall other hilarious moments!

[Eldar14]

Hmmm. . . my favorite funny part? I'd have to say when ol' Bilbo dissapears at his eleventy-one party. It's a classic. The crowd's reaction is the best part. Just imagine what their faces looked like. smilies/smile.gif

smilies/eek.gif smilies/eek.gif smilies/eek.gif

That's the face

[Dûrkriswen]

I allwas thought the S-B's were funny, just because of there attitude, and they were allways trying to get their hands on anything that Bilbo had that was valuable. I allso thought it was funny how Frodo went and saved Middle Earth and is a hero and all - except in his own land! No one seems to care about what happens in the "outside world," nor do they want to here about it. smilies/smile.gif

[Howlin' Pelle]

I always found Gollum amusing which, now that I think about it, is quite disturbing.

[Starbreeze]

I found Gollum funny too - don't worry! smilies/cool.gif

[ElanorGamgee]

I loved Gollum!

"Give me fish now, keep nassty chips!"

[Belin]

Orcs can be amusing too.... like at the end of TTT when Gorbag and Shagrat are carting Frodo off and talking and Shagrat says "Ah, well, you always did take a gloomy view." Come on, you're orcs in Mordor for goodness sake!... And, as Lush says, it's just great when authors stick in the moments of humorous irony at very solemn parts of the story.

[dragongirlG]

Gollum is funny, if you think about it. LOL! But I like the part when Sam stands up to Faramir. I cracked up.

"See here! Let's get to the point before all the Orcs of Mordor com down on us! If you think my master murdered this Boromir and then ran away, you've got no sense; but say it, and hae done! And then let us know what you mean to do about it. But it's a pity that folk as talk about fighting the Enemy can't let others do their bit in their own way without interfering. He'd be mighty pleased, if he could see you now. Think he'd got a new friend, he would."

I also like the part where Pippin says (in Lothlorien, after Galadriel's questioning with her eyes,) "What did you blush for, Sam? Anyone would think you had a guilty conscience. I hope it was nothing more than a wicked plot to steal one of my blankets." That made me laugh a lot.

I did also enjoy reading Flotsam and Jetsam, when Gimli gets all angry, and in "The Scouring of the Shire" when the travelers make the Shirrifs run in front of them. Served them right!

[ March 13, 2002: Message edited by: dragongirlG ]

[ElanorGamgee]

I also thought it was great the way Merry was making jokes while being pushed around by the orcs.

"'Hullo, Pippin,' he said. 'So you've come on this little expedition, too? Where do we get bed and breakfast?'"

[Lyliac]

i think the funnniest part is when tolkien describes the presents bilbo gives away after he leaves.

[Birdland]

I always loved "Please Mr. Frodo, sir!...
Don't let him turn me into something unnatural! My old dad would take on so." Poor Sam!

"I want to hear more about Sam, dad. Why didn't they put in more of his talk, dad? That's what I like, it makes me laugh."

[Kalimac]

Yes, that "My old Dad would take on so" is what really makes that one smilies/smile.gif. You can just imagine the Gaffer chewing Sam out for getting himself turned into a toad ("Allus knew somethin' bad 'ud come of this book-learnin' and foolishness").

"Flotsam and Jetsam" is one of my favorite parts of all of LOTR, and the talk between the hobbits and Legolas and Gimli is great for that sort of thing. (Gimli saying "smoking - smoking!!!" and "Well earned [comforts]? I cannot believe that!") And the hobbits give as good as they get. Of course the scene is funny largely because it's a bit of downtime after Helm's Deep and the storming of Isengard, but it's also very humorous to see how differently the hobbits talk to the Elf and the Dwarf...as equals who have also been through battle, instead of the comic baggage they were before they were kidnapped. Understandably it takes Legolas and Gimli a few moments to catch on, but they do eventually smilies/smile.gif .

[Joy]

I loved the Flotsam and Jetsome chapter also. Though one of my fav scenes is in the "Houses of Healing" chapter. It is the chapter after Merry is healed and he begins to talk to Aragorn about pipeweed, then Aragorn goes into his speal and leaves him. Then Pippin says "My dear a*ss....." That was so funny! Of course the scene with Ioreth and her kin.

[Haldir]

I loved the part when Frodo woke up in Rivendell
and Pipin yells at him "The Lord Of The Ring Woke Up !"
that was so funny I wet my pants...

smilies/frown.giftoo bad it has been cut off the movie...

[Rosa Underhill]

I was quite fond of the description of the things Bilbo left to his friends and relatives (especially the spoon for Lobelia). And Frodo and Sam in Mordor talking about stories; I laughted outright reading that.

The bath scene at Crickhollow was hilarious!
Frodo: I'm drying off in the kitchen where there's less water in the air! smilies/biggrin.gif

[Samwise]

Sigh....showing my ignorance yet again...
What's a weskit?
"Come on, Sam!" said Merry. "There's more stored in your head than you let on about. "

[ElanorGamgee]

I looked up weskit, and apparently it's a waistcoat.

[Samwise]

Oh, okay. TY. smilies/smile.gif
*Frodo and Sam walking across a feild*
*Sam stops*
*Frodo turns* "Sam, what's the matter? "
*Sam* "If I take another step, I'll be farther from home than I've ever been."

[NotHomeYet]

"Then who would you take up with? A fat inkeeper who only knows his own name because people shout it at him all day?"

I also cracked up when I read the part where one orc greets the other with "hola!" b/c I know this guy who speaks fluent Spanish, and he would take it as a personal insult that Orcs speak it as well. smilies/eek.gif

[Mirkgirl]

It's strange but one of the moments that made me laugh was the fox in "Three is company" /I can't find the exact quote in English now/

[Tracy Hemenover]

Hi, this is my first post. :-)

I wanted to say I love all the comic moments that others have mentioned, but there's another great one that I haven't seen here yet --

Gandalf is trying to figure out the words to open the doors to Moria, and says that the doors cannot be forced open from the outside.

"What are you going to do then?" asked Pippin, undaunted by the wizard's bristling brows.

"Knock on the doors with your head, Peregrin Took," said Gandalf. "But if that does not shatter them..." (etc.)

I love Gandalf! When those brows start to bristle, watch out!


Estella

[Samwise]

That whole scene is a knee-slapper, Estella. smilies/biggrin.gif
Welcome to the 'Downs! "Well, I'm back."
Sam Gamgee

[Amarinth]

yeah i love all the funny lotr stuff you guys mentioned, especially the meeting of the hobbits and the rohan party in isengard ("hammer and thongs" exclaims gimli smilies/rolleyes.gif ).
there's another eposide that cracked me up...when aragorn, legolas and gimli found signs of merry and pippin where the uruk-hai were raided by the rohirrim...they couldn't make sense of how the hobbits escaped and found the sense of eating in the middle of the skirmish. i hope they show that in the ttt movie!

---------------------------------------------
every man's life is a path to the truth -- hesse

[muffin_goddess]

Yeah I love all those bits. but one of the things that most impressed me about the movie was how they managed to brink humer into moria, thae part with Billy and how he flinched every time the corpse banged and how Viggo said the words "they have a cave troll!" It just goes to show, even in the direst places you can find humer if you look hard enough

[firncristwen]

Oh my goodness...how could you guys have forgotten when Samwise goes to try and save Frodo? He uses the Galadriel-glass to get past those horrid-sounding guards, once he does they send off a warning to I believe the watcher on the tower. As our favorite hobbit realizes this he says: 'There! Now I've gone and rung the front-doorbell!', or something to that affect. I was crying from laughter and that's a marvelous achievement of the trilogy; when scary parts affect you to the point that you're tense from all the orcs and mouth of Sauron and God knows what you get a wonderful line like that. smilies/smile.gif

[pippin_took0]

I like it when they go to the house at Crickhollow, and the hobbits are wondering who should be first in the bath. Merry says 'Should it be the quickest or the oldest? Either way, you'll be last Pippin'

And in Rivendell, Gandalf says to Frodo:
'And you are lucky to be here, too, after all the absurd things you have done since you left home.'

!! I just think they're funny, people being mean to eachother!

[VanimaEdhel]

A-HEM! Did we forget the little incident with the Legolas and Gimli contest with killing the orcs?!
lol smilies/tongue.gif

[Nevfeniel]

that was so funny I wet my pants... I hope you didn't mean that literally. . .

[Nevfeniel]

I thought it was hillarious in the scouring of the shire. . .
"What's all this?" said Frodo, feeling inclined to laugh.
"This is what it is, Mr. Baggins," said the leader of the Shirriffs, a two-feather hobbit: "You're arrested for Gate-breaking, and tearing up of Rules, and Assaulting Gate-keepers, and Trespassing, and Sleeping in Shire-buildings without Leave, and Bribing Guards with Food."
"And what else?" said Frodo.
"That'll do to go on with," said the Shirriff-leader.
"I can add some more, if you'd like it," said Sam. "Calling your Chief Names, Wishing to punch his Pimply Face, and Thinking you Shirriffs look like a lot of Tom-fools."

[ April 03, 2002: Message edited by: Nevfeniel ]

[Tigerlily Gamgee]

I really like where Pippin is talking about the events with the Ents & he gets to the part where...
~"Gandalf!" I said at last, but my voice was only a whisper. Did he say: "Hullo, Pippin! This is a pleasant surprise!"? No, Indeed! He said: "Get up you, you tom-fool of a Took! Where in the name of wonder in all this ruin is Treebeard? I want him. Quick!!~

[Birdland]

Sam beaning Bill Ferny, and muttering "Waste of a good apple." smilies/smile.gif

[Niphredil Baggins]

Hmm... what has happened to my memory? Ah, this is the vision: Frodo and Sam found by the men of Faramir. I can't remember the discussion, but it was hilarious, the rangers of Ithilien wondering wether they be elves, and deciding they are not fair enough...

[Nevfeniel]

It was kinda funny when the orcs thought Sam was an Elvish warrior. I just thought 'Far from it. . .'

[Arwen Imladris]

One more that I can think of, Sam at the council of Elrond, Frodo isn't going any where without me (or something like that). And of corse the corresponding sceen in the movie, you need someone of inteligence on this mission, quest, thing. Well that rules you out pip.

Also in the movie: what about second breakfast...

[The Half-Hobbit]

One word: PROUDFEET!!!

and I also love the chapter in Ithillien when Sam tell's Faramir's men not to wake him up when they go. "No need to disurb my sleep. I was walking all night"

[Shadowfax Clawson]

I constantly enjoy the scene where Sam and Frodo have sought refuge with Faramir's men, and the Oliphant miraculously appears! It comes entirely out of nowhere and leaves you wondering, "Now, where did that come from?"

I also have a particular penchant for one quote of Frodo's; critisizes Sam for some reason or another in saying, "Sam, you @$$!" It's not funny from most peoples' standpoint, but I have a Sicillian donkey whose name is also Sam; hence, I have an @$$ named Sam too!

(Please don't reprimand me, oh great forum administrators! I have done nothing implicit of profanity; just used a synonym for a donkey! Honest!)

[ April 04, 2002: Message edited by: Shadowfax Clawson ]

[Midgardsormen]

I found the spot:
'We have not found what what we sought' said one. 'But what have we found?'
'Not Orcs,' said another, releasing the hilt of his sword, which he had seized when he saw the glitter of Sting in Frodo's hand.
'Elves?' said a third, doubtfully.
'Nay, not Elves,' said the fourth, the tallest, and as it appeared the chief among them. 'Elves do not walk in Ithilien in these days. And Elves are wondrous fair to look upon, or so 'tis said.'
'Meaning we're not, I take you,' said Sam...
I really love that part...and I laugh every time!!
And of course Gollum IS funny...both the content of what he says and HOW he says it!!
I never came away feeling Gollum was scary, just really crazy...'we wants it, pressssious!!'

[TheBlackRider]

Well one of my favorite parts is at Bilbo's party when he has he farewel speach. He is putting on the ring when everybody is still figuring out what he said before. I also like the fool of a took and when Gandalf does something funny. I cant think of any Gandalf quotes now.

[Lush]

Wow...This thread spills over onto a second page, and STILL no one mentions Gimli's reaction at the idea of going through the Paths of the Dead to rouse the 'forgotten people' from the 'grey twilight.'

Gimli: "I hope the forgotten people will not have forgotten how to fight...for otherwise I see not why we should trouble them."

Not only is this funny, it also hints at Gimli's uneasiness. smilies/smile.gif

[Thinhyandoiel]

smilies/biggrin.gif I like this thread! I have a few of my own:

-When Aragorn checks Frodo after Moria, and he finds the Mithril: 'Look, my friends!' he called. 'Here's a pretty hobbit-skin to wrap an Elven-princeling in! If it were known that hobbits had such hides, all the hunters of Middle-Earth would be riding to the Shire!'
-On Caradhras there were quite a few:
-'Shelter!' muttered Sam. 'If this is shelter, then one wall and no roof make a house!'
-'If Gandalf would go before us with a bright flame, he might melt a path for you,' said Legolas.
-'If Elves could fly over mountains, they might fetch the Sun to save us!'
-'Farewell!' he said to Gandalf. 'I go to find the Sun!'
smilies/biggrin.gif I just burst out laughing at that part!

-And let's not forget when the Company met Haldir and his brothers!
-'Yes they are Elves,' said Legolas; 'and they say that you breathe so loud that they could shoot you in the dark.' Sam hastily put his hand over his mouth. ... Legolas ran up, and Frodo followed slowly; behind came Sam trying not to breathe loudly.

That was just cuteness!

[Samwise]

LOL, Thinhyandoiel ! Those are all great ones!
Has someone mentioned:
"You do not understand!" said Pippin. "You must go--and therefore we must, too. Sam is an excellent fellow, and would jump down a dragon's throat to save you, if he did not trip over his own feet..... "

[Nar]

Great examples! Love Gimli. Love Sam. Love Gandalf! Here's another: 'Ha, hmm, my friends, let us go for a walk! ... I am Bregalad, that is Quickbeam in your language. ... They have called me that ever since I said yes to an elder Ent before he had finished his question.'

[Nevfeniel]

"What's taters, precious, eh, what's taters?"
"Po-ta-toes," said Sam.
This is funny b/c it reminds me of a blonde joke I heard once. I won't say it, though. I don't want to offend any blondes.

[Blue Bunny Wunny]

I like the part in the two towers when Legolas, Aragorn and Gimli find the lembas crumbs etc by fanghorn! Legolas has a funny line about how "pleased with his cleverness he sits down and eats lembas, this at least is enough to show he was a hobbit"
That line makes me laugh, most parts with Gollum and Sam are funny as with Pippin...always manages to get some comic relief in there!
smilies/wink.gif

[ April 13, 2002: Message edited by: Blue Bunny Wunny ]

[Lhunbelethiel]

Also funny is in ROTK (or is it TTT?) when Sam gets all excited about seeing the "ouliphants"! (sp?) It's so funny and endearing. And he gets to see them, too! smilies/smile.gif yay!

[The Half-Hobbit]

and don't forget Sam's Troll Song

"Troll sat alone on his seat of stone,
And munched and mumbled a bare old bone.
For many a year he had gnawed it near,
For meat was hard to come by
Done by! Gum By!
In a cave of stone he dwelt alone
And meat was hard to come by."

[Samwise]

Oh, yes, Half-Hobbit, that one IS great! Not to mention what's said afterward...
"Where did you come by that, Sam?" asked Pippin. "I've never heard those words before."
Sam muttered something inaudible.
"It's out of his own head, of course!" said Frodo. "I am learning a lot about Sam Gamgee on this journey. First he was a conspirator, now he's a jester. He'll end up by becoming a wizard--or a warrior! "
"I hope not." said Sam. "I don't want to be neither! "
or for that matter, before:
"I don't know about that," said Sam. "But how would this suit? It ain't what I call proper poetry, if you understand me: just a bit of nonsense. But these old images here brought it to my mind."
Standing up, with his hands behind his back, as if he was at school, he began to sing to an old tune.
Okay, pretty much most anything Sam Gamgee says or does brings a smile to my face or a chuckle. I love him to peices! smilies/biggrin.gif
(Heh--I don't really need a bottom quote for this message, as I've already used two...... smilies/wink.gif

[Keeper-of-Vilya]

I love the contest between Legolas and Gimli - who can kill the most orcs

Merry and Pippin talking to Gandalf, Legolas and Gimli like they don't know them

There are a lot of others but that is all I can think of right now...

[Samwise]

Hullo,Keeper-of-Vilya--haven't seen you in these parts before!
Here's another quote that brings me a chuckle--

"I had a funny dream an hour or two before we stopped, Mr. Frodo. Or maybe it wasn't a dream. Funny it was, anyway. "
"Well, what was it?" said Frodo, knowing that sam would not settle down until he had told his tale, whatever it was.

LOL--Frodo having to appease Sam like he was a little kid...

[GreatWarg]

I liked that part too about the second breakfast thing. Aragorn was all like -.-' Hehehehe. But my FAV funny part int he book was when Saruman was like 'Radagast the Brown, Radagast the Bird-tamer, Radagast the Fool!" Don't take me wrong, I just loved that part. And also, int he movie, at the Council of Elrond. Elrond was all like "What the--" but I specially loved the part where they were deciding who was going to take the Ring:

*Legolas* I will take the Ring!
*Gimli* No Elf will ever take the Ring!
*Legolas* No Dwarf would ever take the Ring!
*Everyone starts fighting and Boromir and Gandalf get into an argument.* FUNNY!

[Naaramare]

I believe "The Houses of Healing" offers some of the most amusing lines.

"I do so," said Aragorn, "and I care not whether you call it asea aranion or kingsfoil, so long as you have some."
. . . .
"Then in the name of the king, go and find some old man of less lore and more wisdom who keeps some in his house!" cried Gandalf
--RotK, pg 141


and

"Master Meriadoc," said Aragorn, "if you think I have passed through mountains and the realm of Gondor with fire and sword to bring herbs to a careless soldier who throws away his gear, you are mistaken. If your pack as not been found, then you must send for the herb-master of this House. And he will tell you that he did not know that the herb you desire had any virtues, but that it is called westmansweed by the vulgar and galenas by the noble, and other names in tongues more learned, and after adding a few half-forgotten rhymes that he does not understand, he will regretfully inform you that there is none in the House, and he will leave you to reflect on the history of tongues."
--RotK, pg 146

[Aosama, the Wandering Star]

These are all hilarious! One of my favourite lines of Pip's is when he is interogating Frodo near the beginning of "A Shortcut to Mushrooms"...
Pip: Do you think we will see any of those black riders? (very cheery, souding like, "do you think we'll have bad weather?")
Frodo: Yes, probably. But I hope to get across the river without their seeing us.
Pippin: Did you find out anything about them from Gildor?
Frodo: Not much - only hints and riddles.
Pippin: Did you ask about the sniffing?
Frodo: We didn't discuss it. (he says this with a mouth full of food. can you imagine?!?)
Pippin: You should have. I am sure it is very important. (Pip lecturing Frodo, who is what, almost twice his age at the time?)
Frodo: In that case, I am sure Gildor would have refused to explain it. (rather true, really) Now leave me in peace! I don't want to answer a string of questions while I am eating. I want to think!
Pippin: Good heavens! At breakfast? (Pip doesn't want any thought to get in the way of enjoying his food.

[mark12_30]

Boromir: "What will you do then? Leap down the falls and land in the marshes?"

[Ainaserkewen]

A-HEM! Did we forget the little incident with the Legolas and Gimli contest with killing the orcs?!
One of my favourite quirky things that Legolas did. He was strange, no?
"I go to find the sun." was another. Most of the time he goes unoticed, but then, out of the blue he's quirky and funny.

[littlemanpoet]

"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve." This was unexpected and rather difficult. There was some scattered clapping, but most of them were trying to work it out and see if it came to a compliment.

Cracks me up every time.

Together we score one hundred and forty-four. Your numbers were chosen to fit this remarkable total: One Gross, if I may use the expression. No cheers. This was ridiculous. Many of the guests, and especially the Sackville-Bagginses were insulted, feeling sure they had only been asked to fill up the required number, like goods in a package. 'One Gross, indeed! Vulgar expression.'

later....

Why couldn't he stop talking and let them drink his health?

love it! :D

[gorthaur_cruel]

I'd surprised this hasn't already been mentioned! When Aragorn mocks the herb-master ;)

Merry smiled. 'Well then,' he said, 'if Strider will provide what is needed, I will smoke and think. I had some of Saruman's best in my pack, but what became of it in the battle, I am sure I don't know.'

'Master Meriadoc,' said Aragorn, 'if you think that I have passed through the mountains and the realm of Gondor with fire and sword to bring herbs to a careless soldier who throws away his gear, you are mistaken. If your pack has not been found, then you must send for the herb-master of this House. And he will tell you that he did not know that the herb you desire had any virtues, but that it is called westmansweed by the vulgar, and galenas by the noble, and other names in other tongues more learned, and after adding a few half-forgotten rhymes that he does not understand, he will regretfully inform you that there is none in the House, and he will leave you to reflect on the history of tongues. And so now must I. For I have not slept in such a bed as this, since I rode from Dunharrow, nor eaten since the dark before dawn.'

Hilarious...the funniest scene ever from LotR, IMO.

[Ainaserkewen]

It's through the insults of Aragorn and Gandalf that we realise how wonderful they are. Golly, they must live in world of idiots. Aragorn rules over a city of idiots! These days some are too polite to come out and say when people are being stupid. Aragorn shows us simpler times.

[Lalwendë]

I'll second Littlemanpoet's vote for: I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve. One day I shall work this line into my retirement speech (now five years further down the line than I had thought but I digress...).

I like all the humour linking Hobbits and food; there seems to be a fair bit of this in the first chapter, naturally. As an example, when the Hobbits are startled by Gandalf's firework, their trauma is soon relieved by the appearance of supper:

They all ducked, and many fell flat on their faces. The dragon passed like an express train, turned a somersault, and burst over Bywater with a deafening explosion.

'That is the signal for supper!' said Bilbo. The pain and alarm vanished at once, and the prostrate hobbits leaped to their feet.

Tolkien also used the phrase 'filling up the corners', which is one I know well, descriptive of the state you get in after Christmas dinner, bloated and groaning but reaching for another peanut and glass of sherry all the same. ;)

But an overlooked gem from Bilbo is this:

'Isildur's Bane is found, you say,' said Boromir. 'I have seen a bright ring in the Halfling's hand; but Isildur perished ere this age of the world began, they say. How do the Wise know that this ring is his? And how has it passed down the years, until it is brought hither by so strange a messenger?'

'That shall be told,' said Elrond.

'But not yet, I beg, Master!' said Bilbo. 'Already the Sun is climbing to noon, and I feel the need of something to strengthen me

I'm sure many of us know just how Bilbo feels there.

[Elmo]

Neat work, Bill,’ said Sam, meaning the pony. I find this line hilarious.

And also although its not in The Lord of the Rings, I for some reason find it extremly funny when, in Morgoth's Ring, when Melkor is captured by the Valar and taken by the Valinor. Tulkas follows him with Angainor clinking it to remind Melkor of what would await he if he stepped out of line. :D

[Sardy]

My own two favorite funny moments (which I'm surprised haven't yet been mentioned)...

In A Long-Expected Party:

Gandalf: "If you don't let me in, Frodo, I shall blow your door right down your hole and out through the hill."

And in The Council of Elrond (this is one moment that I greatly miss in the films):

"Very well, very well, Master Elrond!" said Bilbo suddenly. "Say no more! It is plain enough what you are pointing at. Bilbo the silly Hobbit started this affair, and Bilbo had better finish it, or himself. ... When ought I to start?"

[littlemanpoet]

Thanks for reviving this thread! :D

[Finduilas]

A part that I like is in The Long Expected Party, when Lobelia throws

Your not a Baggins, you're a Brandybuck!

at Frodo and Frodo goes in and turns to Merry Brandybuck and says something to the effect that that was an insult and Merry replies with

No it wasn't. It was a compliment, and therefore, untrue.

[calandil]

the part where frodo reads gandalfs letter in bree
"i'll melt all the butter in him,i'll roast him over a slow flame(butterbur)"
hillarious!!!!

[MatthewM]

"Time wears on, and the mists are blowing away, or would if you strange folk did not wreathe yourselves in smoke." -Legolas

:D

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

I can't believe that no-one has mentioned this one yet:

Gollum looked at them....Then he came back, and slowly putting out a trembling hand, very cautiously he touched Frodo's knee - but almost the touch was a caress.

But at the touch Frodo stirred and cried out softly in his sleep, and immediately Sam was wide awake. The first thing he saw was Gollum- 'pawing at master,' as he thought.

'Hey you!' he said roughly. 'What are you up to?'

'Nothing, nothing,' said Gollum softly. 'Nice master!'

'I daresay,' said Sam. 'But where have you been to- sneaking off and sneaking back, you old villain?'

Gollum withdrew himself, and a green glint flickered under his heavy lids.....'Sneaking, sneaking!' he hissed. 'Hobbits always so polite, yes. O nice hobbits! Smeagol brings them up secret ways that nobody else could find. Tired he is, thirsty he is, yes thirsty; and he guides them and he searches for paths, and they say sneak, sneak. Very nice friends, O yes my precious, very nice.'

Sam felt a bit remorseful, though not more trustful. 'Sorry,' he said. 'I'm sorry, but you startled me out of my sleep. And I shouldn't have been sleeping, and that made me a bit sharp. But Mr. Frodo, he's that tired, I asked him to have a wink; and well, that's how it is. Sorry. But where have you been to?'

'Sneaking,' said Gollum, and the green glint did not leave his eyes.

'O very well,' said Sam, 'Have your own way! I don't suppose it's not so far from the truth. And now we'd better all be sneaking along together. What's the time? Is it today or tomorrow?'

'It's tomorrow,' said Gollum, 'or was tomorrow when hobbits went to sleep. Very foolish, very dangerous-if poor Smeagol wasn't sneaking about to watch.'

'I think we shall get tired of that word soon,' said Sam. 'But never mind, I'll wake master up.' ....and bending down spoke softly to him.

'Wake up, Mr. Frodo! Wake up!'

...Frodo drew a deep breath and sat up. 'The last lap!' he said. 'Hullo, Smeagol! Found any food? Have you had any rest?'

'No food, no rest, nothing for Smeagol,' said Gollum. 'He's a sneak.'

Sam clicked his tongue, but restrained himself.

'Don't take names to yourself, Smeagol,' said Frodo. 'It's unwise, whether they are true or false.'

'Smeagol has to take what's given him,' answered Gollum. 'He was given that name by kind Master Samwise, the hobbit that knows so much.'

[Ataralasse]

I like the line in Fangorn when Legolas says "I feel older in this forest, older than I have felt since traveling with you children." or something to that effect (I've got to find my book! >_<). Imagine Aragorn's dirty look, not to mention Gimli's!

Also, I like when in the Appendices, Aragorn calls "Tinuviel!" after Arwen and she smiles and says, "Why do you call me by that name?" I can just picture her thinking, "::indulgent sigh:: Yet another infatuated sap!"

"This was unexpected and rather difficult. There was some scattered clapping, but most of them were trying to work it out to see if it came to a compliment." <Love, love, love that line! They did Bilbo's line so well in the movie.
Bilbo: "I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve!"
Crowd: One or two people clap, most look at each other like, "Huh?"

I like some of the other mentioned already, like Aragorn scolding Merry about pipeweed, Quickbeam, and the 'wreathed in smoke' line. Betcha Legolas was downwind on that last one. :D

[Lalwendë]

Fordim has put a long quote in so I will too, don't hang me for it ;) and davem has just reminded me of one of the funniest things in The Hobbit (more on which in another thread shortly). This is great, as acutely observed as a Mike Leigh script, especially if you know about the agonising complexities of British manners regarding strangers:

"Good morning!"said Bilbo, and he meant it. The sun was shining, and the grass was very green. But Gandalf looked at him from under long bushy eyebrows that stuck out further than the brim of his shady hat.
"What do you mean?"he said. "Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?"

"All of them at once,"said Bilbo. "And a very fine morning for a pipe of tobacco out of doors, into the bargain. If you have a pipe about you, sit down and have a fill of mine! There's no hurry, we have all the day before us!"Then Bilbo sat down on a seat by his door, crossed his legs, and blew out a beautiful grey ring of smoke that sailed up into the air without breaking and floated away over The Hill.

"Very pretty!"said Gandalf. "But I have no time to blow smoke-rings this morning. I am looking for someone to share in an adventure that I am arranging, and it's very difficult to find anyone."

"I should think so in these parts! We are plain quiet folk and have no use for adventures. Nasty disturbing uncomfortable things! Make you late for dinner! I can't think what anybody sees in them," said our Mr. Baggins, and stuck one thumb behind his braces, and blew out another even bigger smoke-ring. Then he took out his morning letters, and began to read, pretending to take no more notice of the old man. He had decided that he was not quite his sort, and wanted him to go away.

But the old man did not move. He stood leaning on his stick and gazing at the hobbit without saying anything, till Bilbo got quite uncomfortable and even a little cross.
"Good morning!"he said at last. "We don't want any adventures here, thank you! You might try over The Hill or across The Water."By this he meant that the conversation was at an end.

"What a lot of things you do use Good morning for!"said Gandalf. "Now you mean that you want to get rid of me, and that it won't be good till I move off."

"Not at all, not at all, my dear sir! Let me see, I don't think I know your name?"

"Yes, yes, my dear sirand I do know your name, Mr. Bilbo Baggins. And you do know my name, though you don't remember that I belong to it. I am Gandalf, and Gandalf means me! To think that I should have lived to be good-morninged by Belladonna Took's son, as if I was selling buttons at the door!"

"Gandalf, Gandalf! Good gracious me! Not the wandering wizard that gave Old Took a pair of magic diamond studs that fastened themselves and never came undone till ordered? Not the fellow who used to tell such wonderful tales at parties, about dragons and goblins and giants and the rescue of princesses and the unexpected luck of widows' sons? Not the man that used to make such particularly excellent fireworks! I remember those! Old Took used to have them on Midsummer's Eve. Splendid! They used to go up like great lilies and snapdragons and laburnums of fire and hang in the twilight all evening!" You will notice already that Mr. Baggins was not quite so prosy as he liked to believe, also that he was very fond of flowers. "Dear me!"he went on. "Not the Gandalf who was responsible for so many quiet lads and lasses going off into the Blue for mad adventures. Anything from climbing trees to visiting Elvesor sailing in ships, sailing to other shores! Bless me, life used to be quite interI mean, you used to upset things badly in these parts once upon a time. I beg your pardon, but I had no idea you were still in business."

"Where else should I be?"said the wizard. "All the same I am pleased to find you remember something about me. You seem to remember my fireworks kindly, at any rate, and that is not without hope. Indeed for your old grandfather look's sake, and for the sake of poor Belladonna, I will give you what you asked for."

"I beg your pardon, I haven't asked for anything!"
"Yes, you have! Twice now. My pardon. I give it you. In fact I will go so far as to send you on this adventure. Very amusing for me, very good for you and profitable too, very likely, if you ever get over it."

"Sorry! I don't want any adventures, thank you. Not today. Good morning! But please come to teaany time you like! Why not tomorrow? Come tomorrow! Good-bye!" With that the hobbit turned and scuttled inside his round green door, and shut it as quickly as he dared, not to seem rude. Wizards after all are wizards.
"What on earth did I ask him to tea for!"he said to himself, as he went to the pantry. He had only just had breakfast, but he thought a cake or two and a drink of something would do him good after his fright.

Splendid. One of my very favourite things that Tolkien ever committed to paper :D