Dont let me stop you. :p

Gandalf: I am the fire that kindles the tree's beard

Saruman: I am the loyal Halfling that throws itself onto the fire to smother it.

Gandalf: I am that same Hobbit, who bursts into flames which spread and only exacerbates the problem.

Saruman: I am the thunderstorm that extinguishes Pippin! (When did I get in the tree saving business?)

Gandalf: I am the lightning that strikes the Hobbit.

Saruman: I am the foolish tall elf in a spikéd helmet, that stood beside the Hobbit and got struck instead.

Gandalf: I am a fire extinguisher!

Saruman: I am the lack of pressure in the fire extinguisher which causes it not to spew the foam.

Gandalf: I am Helm Hammerhand, who squeezes the extinguisher to increase the pressure.

Saruman: I am the pressure in the extinguisher which makes the extinguisher explode.

GANDALF: I am a giant evil cow of doom! Moooooooo!

Saruman: I am the milkmaid who is late to the milking, thus driving the poor overfull cow to frantically dashing about Middle-Earth in mindless distraction. Moo.

Gandalf: I am the Eye of Sauron who sees the rampaging cow and turns it into a nice, sizzling steak. Sizzle! :p

Saruman: I am the random giant mirror that reflects the heat back at Sauron! Sizzle! :p

GANDALF: I am the hammer that breaks the mirror!

Saruman: I am the inferno that melts the hammer's head.

Gandalf: I am the blizzard that puts the inferno out.

Saruman: I am the freak weather patterns that cause the blizzard not to occur.

Gandalf: I am the freak weather patterns that cause the blizzard.

Saruman: I am the politically correct police who object to the term 'freak'.

Gandalf: I am the politically incorrect activist who stages a massive protest outside the police station, causing the chief to hyperventilate and faint from embarrassment.

SARUMAN: I am the Tyrannosaurus rex that eats all the protesters.

Gandalf: I am the paleontoligist that points out that T-Rexes are extinct.

Saruman: I am the stone wall that falls on the palaeontologist randomly.

Gandalf: I am the laws of physics that were turned upside down. Therefore, the stone fell upwards, as did every other thing that was not bolted to the ground, including the paleontologist.

Saruman: I am Eru who puts such laws back to how they should be

Gandalf: I am the nap that Eru was actually taking at the time, which prevented him from correcting the laws of physics.

Saruman: I am the fact that Eru doesn't need naps.

Gandalf: I am the sleeping drug that was perscribed to Eru because he couldn't sleep.

SARUMAN: I am the excessive amount of coffee that counteracts the sleeping drug.

Gandalf: I am the wasps that infest the coffee, preventing anyone from using it.

Saruman: I am the exterminator that comes and kills the wasps.

Gandalf: I am the convieniently placed tacks on the road which puncture the tires.

SARUMAN: I am some random guy named Bob who got his tires ripped by the tacks first and alerted the exterminator to their presence.

Gandalf: I am the random person that randomly puts down more tacks.

Saruman: I am the street-sweeper who sweeps the tacks to the roadside.

Gandalf: I am the double-sided tacks, one side tacked to the ground, which the street sweeper finds impossible to dislodge.

Saruman: I am the bridge he builds over the tacks.

Gandalf: I am the troubled waters that wash the bridge away.

Saruman: I am the friend who lays me down like a bridge over the troubled water.