How long would Rosie Cotton survive in the wild alone ?

Forever. Zimzalazing (thank you Rune), the all-powerful dark fox lord, made her immortal because he and his minions liked her chicken soup so much.

How long would Aragorn survive in Hobbiton?

As long as there is enough pipeweed

Why would Aragorn want to live in Hobbiton anyway ?

Because there is always enough Pipe weed.

Q - What did Fingolfin think just before he fought Melkor?

Man, this guy really needs a bath

Why didn't the balrog ever take a vacation away from Moria ?

A - Because the roaming charge on his cell phone would be too high.

Q - How long will the Barrow-Downs last?

Till death do as part...and beyond

Why weren't there any Elves at Helm's Deep ? ;)

Because Elrond was too stubborn to ask for directions when they got lost somewhere South of Fangorn Forest.

What if Eowyn had gone with Aragorn to the paths of the death?

they would be newly decorated.



WHY DOESNT BILBO EGT SINGING LESSONS?

because Bilbo is cheap when it comes to money.


Why were the Wainriders using Chariots?

Why were the Wainriders using Chariots?

A: They didn't want to be late for the massacre.

Q: Did Tolkien ever watch Star Trek?

Yes... and No. He once watched a star take a trek across the sky and provide the inspiration for, you guessed it, Pipe weed.

Why in Middle Earth did Alatar and Pallando think that blue was a good colour for Wizards?

Why in Middle Earth did Alatar and Pallando think that blue was a good colour for Wizards?

A: They were UN peacekeepers.

Q: Why did Míriel want to die?

A: Because Finwe snored. And after ages have passed, she just didn't see another way out. :(

Q: Just why didn't Galadriel give Feanor those three strands of her hair?

A: Because then a sample of her DNA would have been on file.

Q: As a corollary, why didn't Galadriel give Gimli more than three strands of her hair?

She was saving the rest of it to make a hair shirt for the penitent Smeagol.

Why was Caradhras so cranky?

A: He had a cold. :(

Q: Will Tolkien ever write a sequel to LotR?

Yes, if he ever leaves Valinor.

Why does Aragorn have a beard?

To hide things in. Gandalf has one for the same reason.

How long did it take to build the Argonath?

Experimental sculpture
 

Three million years. This was due to a decision to carve them using water erosion instead of more conventional tools.

Since TSOAR didn't ask a question, I will!
In honor of this thread (I'm not saying it's a stupid question, I just couldn't resist.)

Q: What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen Balrog?

It varies depending on wind speed, size of Balrog and the number of Monty Python references in the conversation so far.

Q: Given that x=94, q=30 and z=-107, roughly how many calories are there in a wafer of Lembas?

Sorry I forgot the question last time.

Since they say that a wafer of lembas can get a man through a hard day of work, and it is estimated that an active adult may burn up to 3600 calories in a day of hard work, I'd say that a wafer of lembas has about 2000 calories.

The deficit between caloric intake and output explains why elves are so thin... they are all anorexic!!

Q: What's the deal with Fangorn? I mean, it's unnatural to be THAT unhasty

A: Well, seeing that it took over a month for somebody to answer this, it's safe to say it isn't. :p


Q: What were the fates of Elladan and Elrohir?

A cautionary tale of fame gone wrong
 

Elladan joined a progressive rock band, but too much rock n' roll excess soon took its toll and he left for Tol Eressea a broken half-elf.

Elrohir hung around for a while, but soon grew tired of the shallow hangers-on that trailed in his brother's wake. He relinquished his possessions and left to travel the strange lands to the East and South, where it is said he found either enlightenment or some potent narcotic, possibly both. He was never heard of again.

Can fleas travel to the Blessed Realm?

Can fleas travel to the Blessed Realm?

Though previously prohibited from doing so, once Gandalf insisted on taking Shadowfax to Aman many fleas took the opportunity to go along for the ride.

Why did Feanor dislike his half brothers so much?

As children Feanor's half brothers stole and broke his train set.

Was there a disco located anywhere in Middle Earth?

Yes, but it was private-membership, available to hobbits only.

How many giant floating eyes does it take to change a lgihtbulb?

None. Recent studies show that exposure to lightbulbs can have negative effects on giant floating eyes, causing them to have delusions of grandeur and seek to take over the world. They should avoid lightbulbs.

What ever happened to Indis?

I'm not sure you really want to know what happened to Indis. The incident involved about 50 gallons of glue, a lawn mower, and a box of firecrackers, and trust me, it really was not a pretty sight.

Why didn't Tolkien ever tell his readers whether Balrogs had wings?

Why didn't Tolkien ever tell his readers whether Balrogs had wings?Well, ... in an unpublished essay entitled "Balrogs - A History" JRR Tolkien does in fact address this very question. Unfortunately, person permitted to read said essay are contractually bound not to reveal any information concerning Balrog anatomy.

Did Elrond charge Bilbo for room and board at Rivendell?

Well he did, but there was a misunderstanding, so Bilbo just went bull hunting instead.


Why did Gollum dislike Aragorn?

It was because of a senior prank from way to long ago; he really shows a grudge, doesn't he?

What is an elf's favorite party game?

Pin the blame on the Dwarves.

What are taters?

Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew...
 

That's the word for hobbits in the Troll dialect.

Q: Why didn't Ilúvatar just tell Melkor to 'shut up'?

Why didn't Ilúvatar just tell Melkor to 'shut up'?

Well, he was always Ilúvatar's favourite. The All Father just figured Melkor needed some time to work on his issues.

Why didn't Aragorn and Arwen just elope?

Because society frowned upon such actions. Well, to admit the truth, Aragorn was afraid to.

Why don't Hobbits wear shoes?

Q: Why don't Hobbits wear shoes?

A: Because if they did, they wouldn't be able to massage each other's shoulders with their toes.

Q: Who from Middle-earth liked spaghetti the most?

Q: Who from Middle-earth liked spaghetti the most?
A: Balrogs were quite fond of spaghetti, but when it came right down to it Radagast the Brown was Middle-Earth's biggest fan.

Q: What's the real reason Gandalf was sent back?

His wife told him: "You dare to return home in such dirty gray clothes, you think I'm gonna wash them for you?" So he had to return and get new clean clothes...

What rock group was most popular among ME inhabitants?

Elven Floyd... a band that was actually started by Feanor, who had to leave the band for... the reasons we all know. Some of their hits were:

• Shine on your crazy Silmaril
• Wish you were here (and not in Valinor... lazy elf)
• Comfortably Numb in the halls of Mandos (dedicated to Feanor)
• The Wall... of Angband
• And their greatest hit "Another rant in Valinor" with the killer chorus "We don't need no trees of light... we don't need no Tanquetil. No happy trallaly down at Tirion... Valar leave the Elves alone! .... HEY VALAR!! LEAVE THE ELVES ALONE!"

What kind of music was favoured by hobbits?