"Does it guess easy? It must ahve a competition with us, my preciouss! If precious asks, and it doesn't answer, we eats it, my preciouss. If it asks us, and we doesn't answer, we does what it wants, eh? We shows it the way out, yes!"

Frodo couldn't stand Gollum ripping into raw coney, so he bought Gollum a stuffed bunny to chew on.

"Would Sir like to try this in a size 12?"

Gollum: Does Master want to play with Fluffy?
Frodo: *to Sam* Do you think we should tell him Fluffy's dead?
Sam: Not on my life Mr Frodo. It may stink somewhat, and the rabbit too, but at least he's not bothering us!

Smeagol: Does they wants to see my Brian Blessed impression?

This is what happened to the Sainsbury's adverts after Jamie Oliver found a mysterious gold ring on the Kings' Road: "Pukka! My Preciousss..."

OK so why can only see the picture... is it a thestral? Oh no then I'd be able to see it .. a kind of anti-thestral then ? Oh dear .. from Tolkien to Potter to Pratchett in a single post :(

Mith, to see the pic....Right click on the Angelfire image, click properties, highlight and copy the address (URL) and put it in your web box. ;)

Ooh thank you kind sir..... good deed for the day..


OK then ...hmmmm

Gollum attempted his sweetest smile and tried to swap his pyjama case for the one ring.

:eek:

Gollum: Look! Look! See what Smeagol finds?
Frodo (running away): Blast you Smeagol! That's a skunk!

Anyhoo...

Nim

Gollum: Peeksaboo! Precious, yes peeksaboo!

Sméagol sees Éowyn.
 

Sméagol: If you comes with Sméagol, we gives you this rabbit, preciouss.

Gollum: Yes Preciousssss usessss my hankerchiefsssessss

or

Merry: See? I told you his eyes were bigger then Frodo's now pay up.
Pip: *groans* Alright, fine!

"We took a page out of Donald Trump's book, we did, Precious!"

Gollum: Now for the Scrumptiously Crunchable test. Step one: Is it crunchable? *crakkkk* Yes yes, precious! Now is it scrumptious? *crunchhh* Yes yes yes! It passes, yes it does!

The Middle-earth Society of Prevention of Cruelty to Animals case #712.
 

Sméagol: We didn't knows the Beleriandic cottontail hare was endangered!

Legolas: Ah, Elmerf, I have dyed you an ordinary, unassuming color that thou mayest deliver mine message unto the wild cave-hares in the troll-fells. Fail me not, for the very fate of the Elven Kingdom in Mirkwood depends on thee.

Gollum: A coney! *snap*


Or...

The true, yet sad and romantic, fate of Elmerf and Yosmitë. A hobbit's stew.

To resurrect a favourite flight of fancy......
 

Unknowingly Gollum kills an Isildur's hare...

"Smeagol has found a wig, Masster. Can Smeagol auditionses for the part of Legolas now, Masster?"

New pic!
 

http://images.amazon.com/images/G/01...tk-aragorn.jpg
He's got the bowling ball!!!!!

(That was for any commentary watchers :D )

I can't believe I forgot...
 

The Gollum pic:

Sam: Oi! Gollum! Fetch us a coney!
Gollum: As you wish.

The Palantir pic...

Aragorn: Do you know what I see in here? SHRIEKING EELS!

Aragorn found the proof in the case of Faramir's missing fish bowl.

Aragorn: It was in your Father's room
Faramir: Dad! How could you?
Denethor: Well, I uh....drained the water, then lit the match it sort of continued from there.....What?!
Aragorn: Why don't you just buy him another fish.
Denethor: Never!! *douses carrosine oil on himself and lights one of his infamous matches*

Oddwen, you've done it again...
 

Now I must do my own Princess Bride caption!

"INCONCIEVABLE!"

Aragorn: (looking at his reflection): Oh, you handsome devil you.

Sauron: You think so? Why, thank you.

Aragorn: Huh? Who said that?

Aragorn was doing well at the candle lit food fight until his ball caught fire.

The Three Hunters are playing rounders(!)
 

Aragorn: I got you now, Leggy!

Ding a ling a ling, Ding a ling a ling! A feminine voice: "You have reached the office of Gorthaur. Your call is appreciated. Please wait on hold till Gorthaur or one of his representives can reach you." (Mordor theme plays.)

MallornCard Ad.
 

Palantír: $2 million
Andúril: $ 2.5 million
Seeing that look on Sauron's eye: priceless.

Aragorn: (After whacking the Palantir against his head) I'm sure I can break this thing open... *collapse*

When Legolas asked Aragorn to tell his fortune, it all got a bit one-sided.

Aragorn: Oooh... I see... I see... a crown! And look, there's me! In a fancy tunic.... with a dozen hot Elf chicks! Oh, then I get slapped by the wife.

Legolas: Yes, but what about meee?!

Aragorn: Ehh... you're somewhere in the crowd.

Are you suggesting that Palantiri migrate?!?

Aragorn (ponders to self): If I can get this thing to strobe...I can hang it from the ceiling in the disco ballroom in Gondor...man, that would throw a little boogie into the night!

Arry stares in wonder at Boro's new disco ball.

Aragorn, to Sauron:

"Hello! My name is Aragorn Arathornion! You killed my (many greats grand) father! Prepare to die!"

sheesh I have no idea where this one came from, but here it is: :D
 

Aragorn:

Ball, ball in the hall,
Who's the dirtiest of them all?

Ball:

Remember those two halflings that went to Mordor? Well, your glorious filth is now no match for theirs!

Aragorn:

Damn you, ball! You lie! I'll have to torture you with fire until you tell me what I want to hear!

Ball shrieks and writhes in flames.

Aragorn:

Hahahaha! A little too hot for comfort, is it?

Ball:

All right, all right! You're the dirtiest mortal that ever walked the land of Arda, happy now! *mutters* At least until coronation...

As the world looks on, breaths held in anticipation of the encounter with Sauron, Aragorn could hardly contain his amusement as he realises that he dialled the wrong number...

Aragorn was pleased with the prototype for the "Ranger" - ' flame effect fire ball - all the beauty of natural real wood fire without the mess' (or indeed the heat) - now all he needed was a backer.

I hate to do this again, but...
 

Aragorn saw Gandalf...uncloaked!

Aragorn's face beams with pride as he finally proves to his mates that you can indeed buy gobstoppers bigger than your own head.