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Sam's favorite past time: Playing with Playdough.
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Mister Frodo sir, look! Gandalf's been this way... I found his hood!
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Sam, having trouble sleeping one night in Mordor, begins muttering, "It's down and under, then over and up...no that's not right...it was right over left then down and under...no...maybe over and down then left over right and pull through...drats. Mr Frodo...Mr Frodo, do you remember how to make that double-hooked noakie-knot that my old gaffer taught us back when we were wee hobbits in scouts?
Frodo: Go to sleep Sam. |
Sam was beginning to understand why Frodo had suggested leaving the lawnmower at home.
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http://www.ninecompanions.net/galler.../ttt_sam_4.jpg
Sam looking at Shelob: Wow, Mr.Frodo that Spider really is big! Frodo: Congratulations, Sam, you've now mastered the art of obviousness. |
Sam eyed Frodo's Elven Brooch jealously and wondered why Galadriel had seen fit to bestow upon him a bent paper clip to hold his cloak together.
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Gazing glumly at his double chin in the mirror of Galadriel, Sam wondered if Gandalf had perhaps turned him part way into a spotted toad after all.
TB12: Dynasty |
Frodo: "Smeagol's not back yet? Inconcievable!"
Sam: "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." |
Sam tried the most innocent face he could muster when Frodo asked: "Did you kill Smeagol?"
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The Balrog was in a bit of a Flap
I threw down my enemy, and he fell from the high place and broke the mountain-side where he smote it in his ruin. Strange thing though, I am sure the creature was trying to fly, it looked like it thought it had wings.
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Sam looked at Frodo in astonishment as Frodo gave birth to a bouncing baby girl.
Sam: Frodo its A girl!!!!! Congratulations. |
"They have really lost the plot this time" Thinks Sam as Merry and Pippin start telling him about the walking trees with the magic potion.....
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Upon encountering Sauron in the middle of Mordor, Sam realises that he's going to have to come up with a really good excuse.
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Sam to Rosie: "You're pregnant again?"
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It's gonna hurt, but Sam realises that he's going to have to tell Frodo to shave off the moustache.
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Suddenly, Sam realizes that maybe he ate that Jalapeno pepper too quickly...
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Sam: Look Mr. Frodo! I can make my eyes go crooked!
(Did anyone else notice that one of his eyes are slightly looking another way?) :p |
Fro: Sam, watch the swinging tater. You are getting sleeeeepy...
Sam: :) Or... Sam begins to lose himself as he gazes into Mr. Frodo's big, deep, blue, very big, ephemeral, large, azure, humongous eyes. Fro: Sam, snap out of it! |
Take 462
Peter Jackson: Alright, Sean, this is the scene where Sam cries.
Sean Astin: Ok, here it comes... no no, wait, here it comes... Seriously, I can do it! Here we go, here are the tears... |
MallornCard Ad.
Elven Cloak (with brooch): $250
Trip to Mordor: $1762.98 Having to explain to your wife where you have been all those times: Priceless. |
Sam to Frodo in Osgiliath, "By rights Mr Frodo we shouldnt even be here", "Quick pass me a copy of that damn book again", replies Frodo, glaring at Peter Jackson.
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Gollum had resorted to devious pharmaceutical-based strategies to lower Sam's suspicions.
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SAM: Hum. Perhaps it is time for a new picture...
http://www.laurelindorenan.com/Smeagol.jpg Smeagol to Peter Jackson: What do you mean I don't actually sing "Gollum's song"? |
:Smeagol starts to bite into the fishes head:
Sam: No not that way! :Sam shows Smeagol the proper English way to eat: Smeagol: Whys should we eatsss, nice, juicy fishess like that? |
Smeagol is told that he is not to be invited back for the second round of auditions for the remake of The Blue Lagoon.
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On seeing the proposed poster campaign shots, L'Oreal executives begin to doubt the wisdom of investing in a range of fish-oil shampoos.
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It would have been so much simpler..
Smeagol realises Frodo has pulled a flanker on him by having the ring fed-exed to Mount Doom.
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Gollum: This big, precious, this big, yes, yes. The One that got away, yes precious, the One that got away was this big, gollum.
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Just thirty minutes swimming in the sea near Sellafield*, and look at the state of poor Liv Tyler now.
*notorious UK nuclear fuel reprocessing plant. |
Quote:
the resemblance is uncanny.... oh the joys of motherhood :P |
Smeagol tries to remember where it was he was supposed to meet Gollum...
"Under nasssty rockses? In sswishy riverses? Under fressshly-killed hobbit corpses?" |
Sam: mr.Frodo! supper is ready! its...
Gollum: you said it was my turn to cook Sam:fine...gollum has prepared some nice raw fish which he just caught 5 minutes ago...errgh... Gollum: and what else did Smeagol say was to go with the fishes Sam: and i made some Shake and Bake... Gollum: and i helped! |
No-one remembers the runners-up in beauty contests, but they have feelings too.
or It was with a numbness of heart that Gollum realised his date had stood him up. |
Despite the washboard stomach and hours of running around in naught but a loincloth, Smeagol has just discovered that it was Legolas and not he who would become LOTR's sex-symbol.
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The day Samwise 'accidentally' blocked the toilet, Frodo called out Smeagol's Plumbing Services to see to the septic tank:
"That'll be £50 for the partses, £80 for master's use of the flushing rods, one gold ring for a hour of our preciouss labour and one hundred poundses for our call out charges. Plus VAT." |
Slinker is unable to grasp the concept when Stinker tells him that Master is going to destroy the Precious.
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Sam, Frodo and Gollum passing time.
Frodo: No, no, no! Smeagol it's pigeon toe, pigeon toe, slide, slide, slide. Gollum: Silly stepping could not be so difficult if poor Smeagol did not dance with fat Two-left-foots. Sam: *fuming* Oh, is that right? Well I couldn't...he said to...YOU HAVE CLAMMY HANDS! Frodo: Is it just me, or did whoever is telling this story going to leave out this scene for a reason. Do you guys want to end up like a bad Broadway musical? Now let's try again. 5, 6, 7, 8...." |
Yess, Master, trickssy false Faramir gives us shiny walking stick too...
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Gollum : Ellliot.....Elllliot.....
Peter Jackson: ANDY, would you PLEASE FOCUS FOR 5 MINUTES !!!! Andy Serkis : Phone home?.... Peter Jackson AAAAAAAARRRRRRHHHHHHHHHH (as he smashes his camera) TB12: Dynasty |
Sam: So who are you today, Gollum? Slinker or Stinker? First you look at Mr. Frodo like an adoring dog looks at its master, now you're giving him shifty eyes!
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