Faramir: Surrender!
Gollum: You wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept.

Gollum spots a game warden.

The Return of the King
 

Faramir stood up and spoke in a clear voice:"Men of Gondor, hear now the Steward of this Realm! Behold! one has come to claim the kingship again at last. Here is Aragorn son of Arathorn, chieftain of the Dunedain of Arnor, Captain of the Host of the West, bearer of the Star of the North, wielder of the Sword Reforged, victorious in battle, whose hands bring healing, the Elfstone,

From the back someone shouted, "Get on with it"

Faramir replied "Alright, alright I am coming to it. Elessar of the line of Valandil, Isildur`s son, Elendil`s son of Numenor. Shall he be king and enter into the City and dwell there?

From the host came a voice saying "Prove it"

Aragorn hold up his sword and replies "I bear Anduril, Flame of the West".

A man shouts back, "Is it a Limited Edition one like mine".

Narfforc, what did that have to do with the caption?

Anyway;

Gollum: An award? For me? ... ... ... What do you mean 'Animated'?

Gollum stands in awe at Faramir's notorious interrogation techniques; which include the terrifying metaphor, and the skull-crushing paradox.

He's not sure whether this is any better than Boromir's "Bash 'im 'til he talks!" routine.

new pic maybe?


http://www.sumodownload.com/content/...enshots003.jpg


Gondor man in front: oh why didn't i get Capital One!!!

With many apologies to the Monty Python boys....
 

Faramir:"Good evening, and welcome to the Henneth Annun Forbidden Pool, Ithilien, for this year's finals of the All-Middle Earth Summarize Proust Competition.

As you may remember, each contestant has to give a brief summary of Proust's 'A La Recherche du Temps Perdus', once in a swimsuit and once in evening dress.

So let's crack straight on with our first contestant tonight. From the gladden fields, Mr Smeagol Gollum......


Gollum: Fisssssshh nice Fisssssssh?

One Gondorian taps another on the shoulder.

"I think you should look behind you!" says he

The other laughs and says; "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm not falling for that old -"
*SPLAT*
:smokin:

Elrond's hope that the Fellowship could leave discreetly was dashed when the Imladris branch of "Hertz Rentabeast" gave them a complimentary upgrade from Bill the Pony....

Genie : What is your one wish, you must but ask, and you shall recieve.

Gondorian Soldier : I wish for a dashing young woodelf with great hair.... who can single handedly kill all of these seasoned warriors....... and bring down these enourmous Mumakil for us....and state the obvious whenever possible!

Genie : HA! ( Bent over with laughter) What do I look like, Fran Walsh?

The orcs decided they were going to need bigger catapults if they wanted to get those Mumarks over the walls of Minas Tirith.
:smokin:

Video Games in Middle-Earth?
 

Down Time in Minas-Tirith playing X-Box

Faramir: Ok here's the game plan boys you go with me and we'll flank the Oliphaunts to the left.
Aragorn: Right, I mean left. Right?
Faramir: Right, we flank them left.

*A few mintes later*

Faramir: What are you doing I said left!
Aragorn: Was it your left or my left?
Faramir: *rolls eyes* We should have had the Elf do it, where did he go anyway, he's supposed to take out the catapults.
Aragorn: He's over there filing his nails.

Help!! We need some burning pigs, pronto!!

*Two Gondor men standing as the Mumakil charges*

1st Gondorman: well this is it budd- what are yo udoing?

2nd Gondorman: trying to figure out the cheatcode of how to get to the next level...

1st Gondorman: dude thats lame... have you tried All your base are belong to us?

2nd Gondorman: yea...

It was somewhat embarassing thought the Witch-king while caught in rush-hour traffic, to be caught using the wife's transport. If only his fellbeast had been done at the garage.

Sam pic:
In a brief moment, Sam contemplates on the possibility that The Saucepan Man used to be a resident of his backpack.

Gollum pic:
Gollum realizes that he's had too much fish. I never thought the day would come.

Faramir: "We're going to need some big mice."

Gollum pic:

Gollum's been caught with his imaginary girlfriend.

Another example of Sauron's pure disregard for the environment. In spite of the ready availability of fuel efficient transportation, he chooses to use the gas-guzzling Hummer Oliphaunt as standard military issue.

Kids...the picnic's cancelled.

Haradrim at top:If this Oliphaunt goes under 5 miles an hour it'll explode!

Cameraman: I hope these things know how to jump *ducks*



or



Haradrim #1: Ooo... The sky is so blue today...
Haradrim #2: That's odd. Where are all the evil black clouds that guy Sauron made to create a ominous atmosphere for the battle?
Haradrim #3: You idiots! You let the Oliphants escape!

Haradrim #2: Heh heh! Your Mumak just stepped in it! Guess you have to go back to the Oliwash!
Haradrim #1: Oh, do shut up.

It will be recalled that ...
 

... a page or so ago, Frodo and Sam found themselves in the Oliphaunt litter.

Oliphaunt's foot: *SQUELCH!*
Frodo: Urk!
Sam: Oomph!

And so the Quest of the Ring ended in a most unfortunate and messy fashion ...

Aaaaannnd... Coming around the final bend it's Elephant o' War ahead by a length of the surprising Orcish Catapult, a long shot if ever there was one but in top form tonight. Grey as a Mouse in third has moved to the outside, looking to make up some room on the leaders before the end of this exciting race.

It would appear that conformity was not widespread to the newest policy of the UOL (United Oliphaunt League) that banned the use of steriods.

Yeah, all that smoke and kicked-up dirt has caused the picture to appear pixilated from pollution. No regard at all!

Also, in response to the fact that I can't send you reputation points, Eomer, Funniest quote for the pic. I hereby grant you Aina's magic points...that can also be used at Canadian Tire and A&W Restaurants in Canada.

quick bunny trail...
 

I'll second that motion. PM me within five days if I haven't gotten back to you on that matter, Eomer. ;)

No wonder Sauron lost . . .
 

Haradrim: Wait, ain't that the Blue Mountains? Where are we?? Who's got the map!?

The makers of Trident screamed and fled when they realize that 2 out of 3 oliphaunt's dentists were still recommending them.

You guys.... ;)

If only elephants ate something really striking, then there would be a great caption lurking. But what do elephants eat? Little help?

Anyway...

Fewer beasts were signing up for the army, so Sauron had resorted to using virtual reality creations to scare the enemy.

One word:

Riverdance.

In honour of Estel...
 

...Denethor had suddenly struck upon a fantastic new plan to defeat the Haradrim: all he needed were delicious peanuts and strategically-placed landmines.

Let's try a new pick...

http://sean.mythicdesigns.net/boromi...iraragorn1.jpg
Boromir: So you see Mr. Reporter it takes a real man to wear purple.
Aragorn: :thinks: and this is the future steward if I don't claim the throne?

Boromir always wears his purple satin jammies under his armor, a habit which skeeves out Aragorn to no end...

Aragorn could barely contain his envy over The Disco King's flashy costume for the Sheik of Araby dance contest.

Aragorn to Galadriel: He gets purple pyjamas and I get some stupid green stone?!

Aragorn wondered if he should warn Boromir about the stone man who was about to murder him.

Aragorn: Hummmm.... Nah.