Fortunately, wargs dont smoke so they became rulers of middle earth once again...

Unfortunately, they never were rulers so the phrase "once again" became non-existance to the wargs so the wargs went back to being Goblin pets... and Johnny the Stinky Balrog took the throne of ruler too

Unfortunately, the Goblins casted "Untamed Allegiance " on them and made them slaves. Johnny tried to file a lawsuit, but he was practically an old meme so he was arrested for being overused.

Fortunately, that post did not follow the thread guidelines and had no meaning to this story-line


nobody messes with Johnny...nobody!

Unfortunately, it does now.

fortunately, johny died of pipe weed over dose and so did every one else all but the wargs so they were now the rulers.

Unfortunately, basically posting the same thing on the same page got Feral Gannon-Banned. And yes, that is how you spell Gannon-Banned. Ganon has one N.

Fortunately, Johnny got his foot stuck in the 12th hole at "East Farthing Miniature Golf" and couldn't get free.

Unfortunately, they had to cut both johnnys feet off.

Fortunately, johnny used his Balrog wings to flutter about

Unfortunately, balrogs cant fly.

Fortunately, that is still being discussed at thie very moment

Unfortunately the majority of Barrow-Downers - on whose opinion the question is finally settled anyhow as there are no opinions worth of noting anywhere else- weighs on the opinion that the Balrogs can't fly.

Fortunately, only the minority of downers post on this thread so only the minority matter

unfortunately, none of this matters because the last balrog johnny died of blood loss from where his two feet were cut off.

Fortunately, due to Johnny's immense body heat*, his wounds were cauterized and thus he prevented too much bloody loss.


*Taking that he is a Balrog, yes? This raises another question, do Barlogs have blood, and if so, what type of liquid? (Yes, I am horrible... :p )

~ Ubiquitious Ka

unfortunately, gandalf who had been getting more and more angry over the fact that johnny was still alive hit johnny the balrog over the back of the head with a spade killing him and that was the end of johnny the balrog.

(at lest i hope its the end of him)

Fortunately it was, since orcs chopped up the body and ground it to a pulp seperately, and the Witch-King, Gandalf, Saruman, and other magic users cast salt on Johnny's grave and danced on it, preventing him from ever returning to life.

The Encyclopedia Dramatica then added Johhny as an old meme in memory of him.

unfortunately, johnny the balrog was lost from this thread forever.


(shakes the 1,000 readers hand for a job well done)

Fortunately, 1000 reader and feral don't know that Johnny actually became Immortal(and invinceable, and invulernable) after eating the Grim Reaper and doning his powers as Johnny the Stinky Balrog reaper, so in conclusion Johnny is not lost and never will be lost for he shall team up with Were-Feanor and fight crime in Minas Tirith


Johnny and Were-Feanor: Cops out of time and imagination

Unfortunately, being a Balrog and a Were-creature they were more interested in commiting crimes, and promptly robbed Barliman Butterbur of his entire supply of crumpets, scones and other tasty pastries.

Fortunately Butterbur killed both the Balrog and the were-creature and got back everything they stole from him.

Unfortunately Butterbur was a fat, forgetful innkeeper and could hardly be expected to fight off two running jokes.

Fortunately, Nob and Bob were always there to help him

Unfortunately, they were too busy.

Fortunately, gondor were there to help him.

Unfortunately, they went the wrong way

Fortunately, the alien-eating dog was kind enough to show them the right way.

Unfortunately (for Gil,) Gondor killed the two pathetic old memes. The thread was then allowed to actually be original, and not the same damn joke for ages and ages.

Fortunately, we were over that whole business and the jokes can come back whenever they want... on and the alien-eating dog showed them the way to a tavenr full of Corsairs

Unfortunately, for johnny the balrog gondor and the corsairs joint forces to hunt him down.


(i wage war upon johnny the balrog)

Fortunately, they all talked about it and decided they should really be friends.


(I've defected to the side of the running gags. Yes Menel, snicker all you want.)

Unfortunately, when johnny the balrog wasnt looking they stabed him in the heart with a silver blade, then chained him up, locked him in case, chained up the case, put the case into a tome, chained up the tomb, placed spells all over the tomb to keep all out and then had hundreds of guards wait outside so johnny would never come back.


(that should do it........ i hope)

Fortunately, The Flat Morgo-Yak rescued Johnny from the tome (by "reading" him back into this world), and since he wasn't in the tomb the guards and all that other stuff were irrelevant.

Unfortunately, the corsairs and gondor got bored so they attacked themselves

Fortunately, gondor won.


(i will be back to wage war on johnny the balrog, one day........)

Unfortunately, they all got drunk and passed out after the victory



(johnny always comes back, he is like superman... oh and feral, read PM)

Fortunately they passed out at The Green Dragon
and hobbits took over rulership of Middle Earth.

Unfortunately the Hobbits also got drunk and passed out at the Golden Peach where other hobbits tried to take over but they in turn passed out at the Prancing Pony and Butterbur took over

Fortunately, Strider was there to stop butterbut, so then Strider took over.