Fortunately the Pelennor fire department had made a special system using water from Anduin and were able to put out the fire soon.

Unfortunately, the Dragon ate them before they could get to work.

Fortunately, Sauron came out of Barad-dur, killed the dragon and put his minions to work to put out the fire...If he couldn't defeat Gondor, no one was going to. :rolleyes:

Unfortunately the minions were never going to provide serious competition for Red Adair and the fire continued to burn

So just the swallowedacat feeling then.... not a proper prize? :rolleyes: :p

Fortunately, the fire engulfed the hordes of Mordor.

Unfortunately Bob the troll was caught up in it, poor Bob didn't do anyone anyharm he just tried his best, always willing to help out, now he's turned igneous :(

Unfortunately, most of them managed to escape by jumping in Anduin

Fortunately, it was a little-known fact that that part of the river was full of piranhas.

Unfortunately, Johnny the Stinky Balrog bathed there earlier in the day so nothing lived in the river anymore

Fortunately, the polluted water killed them just as easily as the piranhas would have.

Unfortunately, they all received HAZMAT suits while swimming

Fortunately they got the suits from Saruman, who only sold rip off HAZMAT suits...not the real HAZMAT suits.

Unfortunately, a lot of people other than the orcs relied on those suits, and were doomed when Saruman's cruddy quality began to show.

Fortunately Barliman Butterbur wanted a slice of the action, offering Hazmat suits for only 3 silver pennies and a free pint of ale for the customer

Unfortuantely, Bill Ferny robbed him of all his belongings...and the ale too.

Fortunately, the belongings he'd stolen were cursed and the ale was poisoned.

Unfortunately, Ferny just sold those.

Fortunately, he sold them back to Barliman Butterbur

Unfortunately, Barliman was now stuck with the cursed objects and the poisoned ale

Fortunately Barliman got Gandalf interested in being a
silent partner in Barliman's Prosthetic Noses for
Actors so Gandalf uncursed the cursed objects and the poisoned ale
and put them under an enchantment of excellence.

Unfortunately, Gandalf's enchantment of excellence on the ale led to a massive hike in the rate of alcoholism in Bree-land

Fortunately, THE DRAGON CAME and put an end to their drunken partying.

(Eru bless that dragon...) Unfortunately, the dragon became so intoxicated because he ate all those drunks that he found ugly female dragons attractive and thought he was the funniest dragon in the world

Fortunately, the Rangers managed to kill the intoxicated dragon easily.

Unfortunately, in the ensuing celebratory shindig, Aragorn was so inebriated he tried to chat up Galadriel, his grandmother in law :eek:

Fortunately, bilbo woke up and it was all just a dream.

Unfortunately, Bilbo had that dream because he passed out to the trolls attacking his Hole

Fortunately, Mount Zoom ran over the trolls.

Unfortunately, the lava from Mt. Zoom splashing over the trolls made them giant immortal mutant trolls.

Fortunately, the mutant trolls (being mutant)
decided their mission in life was to open up a
trendy bistro in Bree to compete with Barliman's
Bitter Brews.

Unfortunalty, the Great Deprssion hit Middle Earth that year and the troll's Bistro had to close up, making them very angry mutant trolls.

Fortunately this means the trolls could no longer afford sun block with obvious results

Unfortunately, there was a solar eclipse that day which kept them from turning to stone.

Fortunately, that only delayed the inevitable by a few minutes

Unfortunaly, that was enough time for evolution to have it's course and the trolls became immune to everything except hamburgers with peanut butter.

Fortunately Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler was in the neighbourhood so that delicacy was in abundance haven gotten a ride from one of those multiverse travelling cursed shops

Unfortunately, the Dragon ate all the peanut butter burgers before they could be used against the trolls.

Fortunately, the great one peanut butter burger to rule them all was not eaten, so another last alliance of men and elves marched to bree to confront the evil mutant trolls.

Unfortunaly, there were also some very hungry hobbits in the alliance.

Fortunately, the burger could not be eaten by hobbits due to its size.