Bilbo's appendicitis.
 

Frodo: What do they feed you in this place? I mean, look what I found in your intestine!

Bilbo: I'm holding it. Now just do it!
Frodo: But... why... you... you've gone mad, uncle Bilbo.
Bilbo: Listen, sonny, I am not insane, just chop it off!
Frodo: But it's your left nipple. Why?
Bilbo: I have my reasons...

Bilbo reels in bemusement as Frodo reveals his plans to start an armed uprising in Gondor.



*on an aside, why are the candles lit?

Frodo: woops sorry

bilbo: its only a flesh wound


(poor adaptaion i know)

Frodo is initiated into a middle Earth precursor to Freemasonry:

Bilbo: "Watch - if someone does this when you raise your sword, you know they are one of us....

Frodo: This is perfect! Now the other kids won't bug me...


(If those crazy editors from Pointless Waste of Time were here they'd say something like...

Editor: There's yet another phallic symbol...)

Middle-earth extreme dares ...
 

Bilbo: Now my lad, if you can cut through all of these candles on my shoulder without hitting my neck, I'll give you the Mithril Coat too.

Frodo: For seventeen years we have suffered. Now our suffering can end. Guide my sword, Uncle Bilbo, guide my sword.

Bilbo: Pointy end goes in foe, repeat if necessary.

Glancing at Sting, Frodo finally understands how, after years of working together, a man begins to take on characteristics of his weapon. What he can't understand is why Bilbo is glowing with no orcs in sight.

Boro: It's from Austin Powers, can't remember which, but where Dr. Evil pushes the chair button and the engineer falls into the firey pit. He's very badly burned, but still alive. And then, "You shot me! You shot me right in the arm, why did you shoot me?" :)

Frodo: "Hail Gurthang, iron of death, thou alone now remainest!"

Bilbo: "What about your uncle Bilbo? I didn't give you that sword to play with, now stop it."

Bilbo: Ouch! You didn't have to poke me with it!

Frodo: Well, I had to see if it was still sharp somehow! :p

Feanor, that is correct :) . Also, the second part "the metal has gone through the skin..." I took from the second movie when he fell off the cliff. "Could you toss me some anti-bacterial cream, the bone has gone through the skin. I think it is broken..."

Oh, and it's Mustafa played by the very funny Will Ferell, good job Fea.

Bilbo: "I said no cameras!"



....because he's looking right at us.....O nevermind.

Frodo: Sword of omens, give me sight beyond sight!

Bilbo: Sting was under my mattress...? So THAT'S why I always wake up with a stabbing pain in my back!

Frodo: "Sauron will not have forgotten this sword!"

OR

Frodo: "If by life or death I can save you, I will. You have my sword."

oops
 

Bibo: "Here you are Frodo, your very own sword, Sting. Those that want your Ring will glow with a goldish radiance when Sting is unsheathed."

*Glances at self*

Bilbo: "Er, um, I think I meant a bluish light, perhaps?"

Did you hear the one about the Hobbit who traded the One Ring for a sword, and then stabbed the other Hobbit, and took the Ring?

Bonus points for the TV scene that's stolen from! :)

Frodo: Dang, that's a big steak knife!

totally random and out of character ;)
 

Middle Earth Mafia life:

Frodo: I wonder if this will give you an excuse to talk, old paps!
Bilbo: No, please! I swear I have no idea where the pipeweed is!

Frodo: stand back! stop talking about the good old times! i'm warning you!

Frodo: Really Bilbo, a bit of toothpaste will take the tarnish clean off this blade since your too cheap to buy the high quality stuff.

or

Bilbo: And when the housekeeper's come we'll teach them a lesson
Frodo: But Bilbo I don't really think they meant to forget to put the chocolate on your pillow
Bilbo: You only say that because you got one!!

Frodo: You had better get a new pic soon! Don't make me do something you really don't want me to do!
Bilbo: Yes! Get him a new pic! Pleassse! :p

http://www.ninecompanions.net/thumbn...ir_moria_1.JPG

Boromir: Was it supposed to do that?

Boromir: that was cool

Legolas: that was cool! thats all you have to say? you launched the ring into the mountains, we set out to find it, we awoke 50 bajillion goblins! 20 cave trolls! a angry balrog! lost everyone that came with us and most probaly trapped here with a smelly dwarf and thats all you have to say! that was cool! anything else brainiac!

Boromir: lets do it again!

Bilbo: Sword.
Frodo: Whatever.

New Pic...

Legolas: See! I don't you my head is arrow-dynamic! Look at all these clean lines while all you can do is stand there with your messy hair.

Some things the Professor hadn't bothered to explain . . .
 

Legolas: What is that thing?

Boromir: Oh, it usually begins by telling you how perfect your face is . . .

New Pic:

Well, how are you supposed to react to exploding Hobbits?


(No more Gandalf the grey uncloaked, please! :p...)

Legolas: "Well, lookie that...it dropped like a lead balloon!"

Boromir: "Yeah...who'da thunk it? Ya'da thought that balrog woulda made use of his wings!"

Legolas: "Do Balrogs have wings?"

And thus it was started what they talked about until Boromir's death...and the debate still rages in their intellectual decendants today.

Boromir: I'm telling you, man, it is.
Legolas: I DO NOT have a receeding hairline!

Hookbill the Goomba :

Well, how are you supposed to react to exploding Hobbits?


"£$£$$%$^ - we were supposed to put his ring into the fire, Legolas"

Legolas: Gandalf will understand. It's not as though you meant to push Aragorn and any scrap of evidence that he had a claim to the throne of Gondor into that fiery pit.

Boromir: Oh, er... of course not...

Legolas: Zulus, thousands of them...

Boromir: I think you mean Orcs.

Legolas: ... Shut up!... wait till you see the whites of there eyes boys.

Boromir: But their eyes are yellow.

Legolas: ... :(

Legolas chastises the Hobbits for messing about with pepper spray and getting it in someone's eyes....

What really happened after Gandalf's death.
Legolas: Wow. He's still falling.
Boromir: Go, Gandy! Go! :p

Legolas and Boromir are shocked to find out what the Internet REALLY thinks about them...

Boromir: "What do they mean I hated Aragorn?"

Legolas: "What do they mean I'm a pretty nitwit?"

Legolas: i wove caramel

boromir: i wove caramel

*Aragorn walks by shaking his head*

Boromir and Legolas: we wove caramel!

Boromir: So Legolas, I hear you are an expert at skydiving. I bet you can't make this jump.

Legolas: Can to, I just don't have my equipment.

Boromir: An expert wouldn't need equipment, why just look at Gandalf there.

Legolas: Wow.

Baromir: Wow is right! We need a new picture.

Legolas: What?

http://www.daereth.diallink.net/movies/Bilbo.jpg

Bilbo's deteriorating health.
Bilbo: They're after me! But we're okay here, my cake and me! *maniacal laughter*

Legolas and Boromir pic:
Boromir: What is that?? What is that thing, Legolas?!
Legolas: Oh no! It's the infmaous...Chinchilla!! :p

Bilbo pic:
When told that he would have to make a choice between his heir and his favourite cheese pie, Bilbo knew what he had to do... And not a single shred of remorse could be seen on his face as he watched his beloved Frodo set off on the carefully planned suicide mission to Mount Doom.