Unfortunately, just as the cruddy dykes broke the flood rushed back out to sea, then the tsunami came:eek:

Fortunately it was just Tsunami by the Manic Street Preachers coming on Middle Earth FM, which is a cracking song.

Unfortunately, an evil elf attacked everyone while they were listening to the song.

Fortunately, the evil elf was using only none lethal weapons without realising it and so killed no one.

unfortunately the evil elf died.






lol

Fortunately, the word 'lol' was an incantation that brought him back to life and made him give all the Hobbits a huge supply of cake and tea.

unfortunately, it was a huge EVIL supply of cake and tea

Fortunately, Gollum had come by Bagend the day before
and invited himself and twelve friends back for an
EVIL supply of cake and tea party.

Oops! Duplicate copy.

unfortunately, the twelve friends fell ill and evil to the (din din din) EVIL supply of cake and tea

Fortunately, Gollum didn't.

Unfortunately, while he didn't fall ill, he did fall into a fiery pit of doom setting off a chain reaction that caused all the volcanoes to erupt.

Fortunately, the volcanic ash fertilised the soil for years to come.

Unfortunately, the evil flowers in Morgul Vale found the
volcanic soul especially stimulating.

Fortunately, they decided to be good and gave everyone tickets to see The Argonath's latest concert.

Unfortunately, the tickets were fake and Gimli had to lock up everyone who had one of these tickets.

Fortunately, Gimli had Legolas's daddy detain
them in his dungeons and they all escaped
down the Running River when the butler
was late returning from an AA meeting.

Unfortunately, a train ran over them once they had climbed onto land.

Fortunately, the train was made of gravy and so did not harm them at all.

Unfortunately, it tasted terrible.

Fortunately, they had already snaffled quite a bit of the elf butler's wine so everything tasted nice

Unfortunately, once again, THE DRAGON CAME!

Fortunately, the dragon was allergic to gravy
and got a terriblr rash.

Unfortunately, it was contagious and caused all the inhabitants of middle Earth to need a special cream only found in Sauron's shed.

Fortunately, some clever elvsees soon made
generic brands of the cream and made millions.

Unfortunately they blew all of it at the Dunlending Casino and Bar

Fortunately the Hobbits got the money and bought more ale and pipeweed.

Unfortunately, they all became permanently addicted, and no support group could help.

Fortunately It had healing qualities.

Unfortunately, the S-B's managed to get the patent on it.

Fortunately, their lawyers weren't very good so they couldn't do much with the patent for it.

Unfortunately, the lawyer was good enough to tie up the case in a legal battle for 500 years.

Fortunately, that lawyer died by the 493rd year of the court battle and handed it off to someone much more capable.

Unfortunately, Saruman got the jurisdiction for the case
moved to Orthanc and appointed Wormtongue as
presiding judge.

Fortunately, Wormtongue was already bought out by the opposing counsel to saruman

Unfortunately, the opposing counsel was Sauron.

Fortunately, the two sides were so tied up in a useless court-case about pipe-weed's patent they forgot all about the War of the Ring.

Unfortunately, the case halted pipe-weed production, which put Gandalf, Aragorn, and most of the other good guys out of commission.

Fortunately, the ones that did not smoke pipe-weed were able to get on with the quest.

Unfortunately, the ones who didn't smoke pipeweed were incapable of completing the quest.