Fortunately, Frodo had a picklock with him and was able to escape the cage.

Unfortunately, the cage had been hung directly over a pool full of crocodiles.

Fortunately Frodo knew there were no crocodiles in the Middle-Earth and so he saw that they were only illusions to which he wouldn't buy into.

Unfortunately, The pond actually had me in it, and I happen to not like Frodo!:D

Fortunately, Frodo is a better swimmer than you are.

Unfortunately, Hobbits don't and can't swim and I can!(even if it's not that fast):D

Fortunately, all the water was drunk by Bombur and Frodo captures and axes you to death. :p

Unfortunately, I happen to be a Barrow wight, and that means that I can't be axed to death:p, and besides I've got Sauron's key to taking over the world around my neck anyways, so Frodo doesn't have it anymore!

Fortunately, Johnny the Stinky Balrog came along and convinced the barrow wight to give johnny the keys and run away to the seas. (it rhymes so it must be true!)

Unfortunately, the key was just a fake!

Fortunately if it was a fake, Frodo still had the real one.

Unfortunately, a Dragon ate him.

Fortunately, Sam was there and he cut the belly of the dragon open and Frodo and Lotho came out "So that's what happened to the Pimple"!

Unfortunately, no one cared about Lotho.

Fortunately, Lobelia did!

Unfortunately, she only cared about him enough to hit him with her umbrella.

Fortunately, he had allies so he sent her off to the Lockholes!:p

Unfortunately, the lockholes were full

Fortunately, there was a pit near by.

Unfortunately, it was not really a pit, but more of a a small hole full of soft cussions

Fortunately, the cushion filled hole was a hobbit hole, a hobbit hole called Bag End!

Unfortunately, the Black Riders knew where Bag End was.

Fortunately, it was just Lobelia and the black riders had no use of her!

Unfortunately, the TheGreatElvenWarrior barrow wignt who's being neglected here looks exactly like gollum from behind, and good ol' Sam was sneaking up behind her.

Fotunately, TGEW is not a guy but rather a thirteen year old girl who happens to like her dearest Samwise much more than a girl should love a already married hobbit in this case and would gladly ask for his autograph before he would kill her ...

and she happens to be able to kick but of people who confuse her gender(and besides shes got a full head of dark brown hair that is rather long)...

(but she might have mercy enough to save thee from being killed by her total and complete scaryness, nails, and teeth(and plus her moms expired medicine in her medical kit because she happens to be a Paramedic))

Unfortunately, walls of text are too boring to pay attention to.

Fortunately, the walls of text is too long to pay attention to!

Unfortunately, a squirrel stole the Ring during the confusion.

Fortunately, it was a chat squirrel and it gave the Ring to Esty.

Unfortunately, a racoon then then stole the ring from Esty.

Fortunately, the raccoon was me.

Unfortunately, the pengish revolt against raccoons led lommy to be driven to the sea.

Fortunately, being actually a penguin, it was no problem to me. ;)

unfortunately, it was a sea of liquid hot magma

Fortunately, lommy is the world's only flying penguin

Unfortunately, penguins don't fly because their feathers aren't made for that.

Fortunately, that is not the reason she could fly. She was riding on the back of an eagle.

Unfortunately, the penguin was so heavy that the eagle couldn't carry her and fell into the sea of magma.

Fortunately, she was resistant to liquid hot magma.

Unfortunately, the eagle wasn't.