Gandalf: I am the chemical reaction that transforms rust into some other iron compound that does not stick to the feather clipper.

Saruman: I am the other chemical which neutralizes the reaction.

Gandalf: I am the huge explosion produced by the reaction that blows you up.

Saruman: I am the insurance company that refuses to pay up!

Gandalf: I am the threat of* a lawsuit that changes the companies mind.


*I don't want to use another lawsuit, so I'll just hint at one. ;)

Saruman: I am the company's lawyers that viciously tear you apart due to said threat.

Gandalf: I am the tort reform that utterly overturns all our conceptions of lawsuits and lawyers.

Saruman: I am the retort form that sets them up again. And makes fun of them.

Gandalf: I am a company that sells chemistry equipment!

Saruman: I am the joker who would just like to say this: If it smells, it's chemistry, if it moves, it's biology, and if it's physics, it doesn't work ( :p ). And what you're doing doesn't work. So, therefore, it is physics. :p :D

Gandalf: I am the physicist that points out that physics works in theory.

Saruman: I am the chemistry equipment that blows up in your face, which hurts a lot.

Gandalf: I am the protective face mask that deflects the chemistry equipment.

Saruman: I am the moving chemistry stuff, meaning it must be biology, meaning you wouldn't be wearing a face mask and the chemi-bio-mush still hits you in the face.

Gandalf: I am the professor who expels you for doing expiriments in the lab after hours.

Saruman: I am the overindulgent parents who get upset at said professor!

Gandalf: I am the freak meteor shower that obliterates the overindulgent parents.

Saruman: I am the April showers that bring May flowers!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i2...ah/Gandalf.jpg: I am the bad pluming that stops the showers from working.

Saruman: I am the plumber who fixes the showers!

Gandalf: I am the hole in the space-time continuum that causes the plumber's tools to dissapear.

Saruman: I am the carpenter who fixes the hole!

Gandalf: I am the carpenter's boss that fires him for using company tools on his own time.

Saruman: I am the gross negligence that leads to the boss being sued.

Gandalf: I am a spell that erases all lawsuits (and everything to do with them) from the history of the universe.

Saruman: I am the evil trans-national corporations who oppress the people with impunity because they can't be sued!

Gandalf: I am the people in mass revolt!

Saruman: I am the fascist police that put down the revolt.

Gandalf: I am the police's badly-manufactured guns that explode when fired.

Saruman: I am the "Kevlar" armor that protects the fascist police from their own guns.

Gandalf: I'm the fact that the kevlar won't protect them from taking damage from the concussion of the explosion.

Saruman: I am the fact that the mob isn't immune to the concussion either.

Gandalf: I am the fact that the mob has bought off/intimidated/burned the house the Laws of Physics.

Saruman: I am the intangibility of the Laws of Physics, meaning they are a concept which cannot be destroyed.

Gandalf: I am the Vala that makes the intangible tangible.

Saruman: I am Morgoth who destroys the Vala, thus making the tangible intangible once again.

Gandalf: I am a random Tolkien fan who endlessly berates Saruman for saying he's Morgoth.

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i2...ah/Saruman.jpg Vs http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i2...ah/Gandalf.jpg

Who will win?

____

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i2...ah/Saruman.jpg Saruman: I am the tree that falls upon the Tolkien fan.

Gandalf: I am the Ent that convinces the tree, which is actually a Huorn, to move.

Saruman: I am the lightning bolt that strikes the Ent and lights him on fire.