An incy wincy teeney weeney yellow polka dot bikini :)

Why did Thranduil send Legolas to Imladris in time for the Councl?

He didn't want Legolas to be late.

What colour is Gandalf's hat?

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What colour is Gandalf's hat?

The books claim that it was blue, but that was just Tolkien lying. It was a pointy rainbow hat. You see, Tolkien was Catholic, and therefore did not want people to know that Gandalf was gay, and so was Saruman. (Saruman of Many Colors = Rainbow)

Why did Elrond REALLY sail for the Valinor?

Someone told him that the Valar are giving out free candy.

Where is Mordor?

Just outside Taunton, near Creech St Michael on the A358. Follow the brown tourist signs for the Lugbúrz, Morgul and Sammath Railway Museum.

What is a flet?

A flet is a dried bit of mucus that sticks to your nostril hair and flails about as you breathe in and out.

Why is the Máhanaxar called the "ring of doom"?

Becayse when you hit it with a tuning fork, it makes a sound like "doom" instead of "ding"

How often does Pippin wash his furry feet?

How often does Pippin wash his furry feet?
Pippin? Never. Merry does it for him!

Please post a stupid question. Thank you.

Oops...
 

Oh sorry about that :(

Why is Sauron evil?

Just like Hitler, he's bitter because he didn't get into art school.

How did Arathorn II really die?

He died of shame because his son fell in love with Elrond's daughter (Arathorn thought Elrond was a stuck up, idiotic, annoying little- you get my drift)

Q. Why was Gimli allowed to go to Valinor?

He bribed the Valar.

Why did Arwen give Frodo her necklace?

She found out it was radioactive and would rather Frodo get cancer than her.

How did Gandalf survive falling to such a depth in Moria?

Parachutes.

Why do the Dwarves dream about returning to Moria?

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Why do the Dwarves dream about returning to Moria?

Because it's the only place they can go where Elves won't follow then to tease them about their beards and height.

Why do Balrogs have firy whips?

(I can answer this one myself, but it's not very family-friendly ;) )

Because watery whips are not half as intimidating.

Why is Aredhel called "the White Lady of the Noldor"?

Because she is always fainting and those particualr elves had no-doors (Nol-door No-door get it)

Q. Who is the hottest guy in Lord of the Rings

Ghan-Buri-Ghan. Everybody knows this.

What was Feanor REALLY hoping to accomplish by going to Middle Earth?

He wanted to save some money. Real Estate was cheaper there.


What happened to Beleriand?

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What happened to Beleriand?

It ran away because Morgorth frightened it :p (Imagine that!)

How often does Legolas bathe?

How often does Legolas bathe?

Whenever he is in the company of men.


How did Tom Bombadil get his name?

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How did Tom Bombadil get his name?

He drew letters from a Scrabble bag.

Exactly how tall is Aragorn?

A - Depends whether he is standing upwind or down.


Q - What are the Nazgul?

A- Sauron's nine girlfriends

Q- How old is Arwen?

I didn't know she'd be that sensitive about it.
 

Considering she's at least as old as the Third Age, I would guess somewhere around *sound of head being chopped off by an elven scimitar*

Do the Corsairs of Umbar talk like stereotypical pirates? Because they really should.

Of course not! Ther talk like well educated pirates!

Who made the Witch-king's helmet?

Who made the Witch-king's helmet?


A - Santa's Little Helper Elf.




Q - Why did Sauron make 20 rings of power?

Of all the possible ring-making materials he only had extra power, so he used that.

How is the Red Arrow used?

It's launched from the Red Bow.

Why don't we see any female orcs?

Because they are invisible.

Where is Sammath Naur?

It's a little east of Paris.

Why did Arwen really give Aragorn her necklace?

Because it would help him attract hobbits.


Q. Why did Melkor/Morgoth go bad?

His favorite show, Palantir of Fortune, got cancelled. (trollolol!)

Why did Aragorn jump the gate to get into Bree, rather than knocking?

It's just him upbringing and lifestyle. See, in the wilderness you don't knock whenever you want te come into someone's camp to kill them.

Who is Iluvatar?

Q - Who is Iluvatar?


A - An unwell member of the N'Avi!

M, T, H, R, L, and two I's.


What does the writing on the Gates of Moria say?

"Due to the price increse on arrows, trespassers should not expect a warning shot. Sorry, but times are hard."

What color is Legolas's hair?

A. Rainbow, but he cut it off because it was too hard to braid and he wears a blonde wig.

Q. Why is Lothlorien called Lothlorien?

Once again: Scrabble letters

Why is hobbit hair curly?