You can see that by the super-human powers of his slippery-ness he has already slipped through the bars and by now will be on the run, far from the powers that seek him. Mua-ha-ha...:D

I wouldn't go looking for what he smuggles though as he keeps it in his nappy.

Wait 'til he is 18 and sees this...is he going to be more embarrassed than this kid? - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/liv...n_page_id=1770

new Tolkien books...
 

CHRISTOPHER TOLKIEN ANNOUNCES RELEASE OF JRRT’S SECRET LOTR SEQUELS

The literary world experienced an earthquake today when J R R Tolkien’s son, Christopher, announced the existence of a series of Lord of the Rings sequels, penned in secret by JRRT towards the end of his life.

“You have no idea how badly I’ve been wanting to spill the beans on this,” said CT , “But my father made me promise not to let the secret out until all the novels were ready for release.”

The new series is expected to nullify certain portions of the Appendix of LOTR- primarily the sections regarding the years directly following the fall of the Dark Lord. CT admits that this may anger some fans, but insists that they won’t mind once they are immersed in the new stories.

Few plot details have been released, but the public has been told that the book series is seven books in length, and begins approximately ten years after the Dark Lord’s defeat. The stories primarily follow Frodo Baggins, the famous “Hobbit who lived”. The first major plot detail that was released was a bombshell- the Dark Lord was not permanently vanquished! Perhaps his “One Ring” was only one of many anchors to this world?

CT says that the first novel, which will be released next month, is fairly light, in the style of The Hobbit, but adds that the novels will gain both length and maturity as the series progresses. Also promised is a detailed look into the pasts of some of the more familiar characters.

“Honestly, that’s what is best about these new books- learning more about the characters we have grown to love so much,” says CT. “For instance, we find out that Gandalf, long before his famous wizarding duel with the evil dark wizard Saruman, was actually friends with Saruman in his youth! Oh, and we also find out that Sauron himself had a hand in the unfortunate deaths of Frodo’s parents. And yes, for those who’ve been asking, the Morgul-blade scar left on Frodo’s shoulder is very significant to the tale.”

As much as CT has answered, there is much more that he has refused to comment on. In particular, he would not take any questions regarding Elrond, Gandalf’s hook-nosed greasy-haired right hand man whose loyalty was always in question- until, of course, he showed up unexpectedly at the Paths of the Dead and presented Aragorn with the sword Anduril, and thus proved his loyalty. Or did he?

There are many theories as to why CT will not comment on this and other points, but doubtless we will have the answers after the seventh book is released. In the meantime, be sure and read The Downer every day for the latest on the LOTR sequels.

News blockadge
 

It has been reported that a mass spillage on the East - West Road into the Barrow Downs is preventing anyone getting in or out. Moreover, an explosion of jam in the Downer Printing room has meant that the Newspaper production has been put on hold until either the jam gets eaten, or goes off and environmental control come in and hose us all down.

Basically, it's a really busy week for me, and I usually do the Newspaper on Sunday night, but I've had some important government business to attend to and tomorrow is a Nightmare of a day for me. If I get the front page up it will be a miracle. So, it will probably be Tuesday at the latest when you get to see more funny stuff, and then I'll post the Downer front page.

Sorry folks. :(

Hooky, you write us a brilliant and funny missive every week. I for one don't mind waiting a couple more days for another. :)

Well...
 

I managed to get up a bit earlier this morning and I've put the paper together and a Phantom and Alien episode.
Extra special thanks to the phantom for the second story and the mini heads. I wouldn't have got it done so quick without them. :D

http://i20.tinypic.com/29prvbp.jpg

This week Alien gets a NEW hobby...

http://i21.tinypic.com/2r5xegj.jpg

I would just like to clarify that the photograph featured on the front page of this week's edition of the Downer was selected by the newspaper and not submitted by me. I would never use my children so shamelessly for electioneering purposes. Let me be perfectly clear about that.

Btw, there's a free mug for everyone who votes for me (see below).

The right to taste is wonderful, especially in the subject of wallpaper.
Besides, we all know moderate tastes are in beige and off-and-on-again colonial white, pfft... Mind-numbing and without any original thought, except maybe the paid interest of a PAC to nod in approval to the slime on the walls.
Give the far and wide palette a chance.


Now, the only thing is, what about a fight to the death with wallpaper, an aesthetic past time (only to be uptaken in the time of due departure)? Hmm...
:p

Anyways, enough of my nonesense.

~ 'Kasa Azul'

Dreadful news, people...

(Thanks to the phantom once again for the second story and the mini heads)

http://i4.tinypic.com/504117c.jpg

Alien and Phantom have more adventures...

http://i2.tinypic.com/4r0aomp.jpg

Question
 

...Wait, the elections happened last week right? Darn, I probably missed the chance to vote.:(*cries*

Gandalf is a genius.

'Celery'*, eh? Reminds me of an Entish Bow character once upon a time...


*It's 'Kelery', not 'Selery', of course.

Yes, that's what makes it so amusing. At first you just read it, thinking it's a typical Elvish name, but then you think "Hey, wait a minute...."
Oh, definitely.

And that cartoon raises an interesting question- do Wights have souls? Or Phantoms, for that matter?

One would assume that if the person in question were already a Wight or a Phantom, their Soul would already have been sold [to the devil]. Which is another reason why I found the comic strip so amusing this week.

-- Folwren

For the life of me I just cannot understand how this illustrious gathering, The Undead Conference failed to discuss this very question. In fact, it apparently failed to discuss at all we Dead here at the Barrow Downs or even Tolkien's own undead. Imagine, they discussed Turgenev, Mirbeau, Gunther von Hagen, but not Tolkien. Unbelievable.

Next time I see such a call for papers, I'm going to demand equal time. If I see it in time, of course.

What potato famine did The Gaffer go ahead in time to stop? And did he take his son Samwise?

And If Gandalf is that great to come up with that idea then what will Sauron's team come up with...and is that like when Pippin said this Gandalf is a genius!!!!!!!!!
... DESTROY THE...ball?
I wonder who is going to destroy it? and if they do, then where? In the Mountain of Fire?

What election? *whistles*

Well, I think its always best not to ask to many questions where The Phantom and Alien are concerned. That way madness lies... :D

This week, the Downer has an exclusive photo completely unedited and unconvincing.

Thanks to Diamond for the second story...

http://i2.tinypic.com/6llo0so.jpg

The Phantom is really getting tired of this...

http://i3.tinypic.com/8dyfsdc.jpg

Random Titles go on a hunger strike?!
 

Hm...do I sense a food theme this week? Makes one hungry. ;P :Merisu:

Can't forget good ol' Wikipedia. An entirely separate article should be dedicated to the phantom alone.

Well of course no one's giving out the exact date of uproar, what would be the use in that? :p

Besides, we all know as Downers, along with having a healthy closet full of skeletons, surprises are just in our ectoplasm...;)


~ Configuring Skeleton Count Ka

I was joking, I know there's no elections:D!!!!!!!! But it would be funny if there were! Sorry if I sunk your boat, Hookbill.

Wouldn't we be the skeletons in our closets? Since we are dead.

And, oh yes if the uproar happens... My friends would kill me, for everywhere
on line would be here, isn't that great!

If there were no news, we'd all be a lot happier...

http://i14.tinypic.com/6ywhwtv.jpg

This week, Alien does some questionable dealing

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i2...h/PandA067.jpg

The mini heads are especially gruesome this week... I'm quite sure one of them is false though (and no, it's not the one including Kath and beavers :p)...

Okay, I admit it! Those poll results were made up!

Argh, and that was about the only thing I was certain was true.

I don't know what to believe in anymore. *lost look*

Well, I found an old note book in which I'd drawn some Phantom and Alien ideas... Would you like to see 'em. Be warned, some are a little... sickening...

wow me and alien drink the same thing! who knew...

I think the phantom actually prefers Dr. Pepper. Why do I know that? Oh well.

The story about racing reminds me of my da. Somehow a my comment about Freudian couches led to a lecture from him about global warming. :rolleyes:

I liked that random big hat doodel, it's quite a fashion statement. ;)

It's a fun time to be a Downer. This week we get the low-down on Legate...

http://i15.tinypic.com/6kz18qt.jpg

http://i16.tinypic.com/6k6k9yr.jpg

Mr. Hookbill I really enjoyed this weeks downer!

Normally a headline or two will make me smile or laugh a bit, but this week it was all just spot on! From the down with legate sign to the orcd buying fruit and the gobbeldygook. . . my favourit however was all the small Davem headlines, I simply could not stop laughing. (I could, but it took a while)

I knew this is going to come, just did not expect it that soon :rolleyes: But I feel relieved as it could have been faar worse:p

And however interesting an article about my person might be, I definitely agree that the davem headlines are the best!!! :D

Does Davem really never read the Downer? Or is that a typical... how does one put this nicely....:p

I've always wondered. We're sure to find out. I mean, he's never commented on the other down right outrageously offensive material I've published here. Lets see how far it will go before I wake up with a horse's head in my bed...

There isn't much fun staying in our own closets, besides, there wouldn't be any room to store all of the collected and past fenris/werewolves along with skeletons of past misdeeds, or 'good'deeds.
Personally, as a personage of the spectral state, I'd prefer having a lovely home to tromp around in, besides just a closet. I'd need room for parties... :p

~ Ka o'course

As for this recent downer...


'moose facts' :D

That to end it all, made my morning. Though it also makes me curious, are moose in some way connected to Davem? (or is a moose, really just a moose, and the facts are just there, because its moose).
Didn't know moose were on the downs to begin with, oh well, they're in some ways tasty.

~ Curiousity leads to Ka

i'm surprised you didn't do a "uncovering the Gil-Galad" expose...

Guaranteed Twice as True as Regular News
 

This week The Downer received new information about Volo via an anonymous e-mail sent to our editors' office...

http://i17.tinypic.com/8abyiy0.jpg

Alien comes back from holiday...

Hahaha, I really laughed at the Volo article. :D It was quite scary, though... :eek: ;)