Gandalf: "Now Gollum (*condescending head pat*), I think you're confused. This picture that you have in your head of wargs being half-lemmings, half warthogs just isn't true."

Mysterious Arm: I'm touching you... does this bother you...? I'm not touching you....

Gollum: *STARES*

Gollum, Ian, and the Mysterious Man (all werewolves) plan the night's killing. :D

Gollum: iisssn't thiss sexual harrassssment?!

Talk about lifelike!
 

Actually, Gollum is just having his head rubbed.

Man: Hey, you! Off the display!

Ian: I'm sorry Gollum, but its time for you to get neutered.

Gollum: NO! New picture quick!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6.../001Pippin.jpg

Pippin finds a Marks and Spencer's label on those Lothlorian cloaks
Pippin: Those lazy creeps! They told us they made them themselves!

OR

Pippin: *reading out* "do not use washing machine, may cause Sauron to resurrect" Oh dear...

Pippin finds a mirror

"Man I'm ugly!"

Cloak label: May swallow the bearer by accident.

This cloak belongs to... Gandalf the Grey!

Pippin: "Made in China"...those Elves lied to us!

"This cloak handcrafted by Polly-Esther"

pippin and his cloak
 

Pippin: Aww, I hate bleech, it's gone all pink. I know, I'll lick it off!

This cloak will self destruct in one second.

OR

Pippin finally finds out why the Orcs have been shooting at him, there was a target painted on the backs of those cloaks.

Pippin: I cannot read the fiery letters...

Gandalf [Offscreen]: No, but I can. The letters are Elvish, of an Ancient Mode, but the language is that of Mordor, which I shall not utter here. But this, in the Common Tongue, is what is said, close enough:

One Cloak to Rule them all, One Cloak to find them
One Cloak to Wrap them all, and in the warmth bind them

It is only two lines of a verse long known in Elven-lore:

Silky Cloaks for the Elf-Lords under the sky,
Rough Cloaks for the Dwarf Lords in their halls of stone,
Mass-produced Itchy Cloaks for mortal Men, doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor, where the Mosquitoes fly,
One Cloak to Rule them all, One Cloak to find them
One Cloak to Wrap them all, and in the warmth bind them
In the Land of Mordor, where the Mosquitoes fly.

This is the Master Cloak, the One Cloak to rule them all. This is the One Cloak that he sewed many ages ago, to protect him from mosquito bites. He greatly desires it - but he must not get it!

4 O'Clock already? Guys! Can we wrap this battle up? I have a dentist appointment.

Pippin: "Dude. I broke a nail! Now that just stinks."

DVDTown.com
 

Pippin: Argh! Dvdtown.com is everwhere, on my armour, on my wig, now my cloak! Aww, man. Dvdtown.com is ruling the world!

Please return this cloak to Sauron, Barad-dur, Mordor. Please bring a ring of power with you to gain entry.

OR

Pippin: *reading* This cloak belongs to Tom Bombadill. If you can answer this simple question He will grant you three wishes. Who is Tom? ... Oh stickle bats!

Pippin: "Replica of Elven cloak. Made in Gondor. What a gyp, wait until Sam & Gimli hear that Galadriel didn't make their cloaks!"

Pip: Greenish/Grey! What is Merry talking about? And they say Im colour blind. This cloak is definetly purple.

In really small print Pippin reads...

Warning:
Do not put in reach of children. They may choke on the small brooch.
Do not wrap around your head, you may sufficate.
Do not eat, contains poisonous dyes. If you did happen to eat it see a doctor immediately.
Do not attempt to fly. This is a cloak, not made for flying.
Do not let this cloak come in contact with your eyes.
Do not excessively smell this item, you may become intoxicated. If you think you have become intoxicated please see a doctor immediately.
Wearing this cloak excessively could result in headaches, nausea, heartburn, indigestion, monkey hair, warts and/or boils, and death. If you get any of these symptoms see your doctor immediately.

Pippin thought it would be funny to switch cloaks with Frodo... until he realizes (much too late) that Frodo had sewn the Ring into the hem of his cloak for safe keeping.

Pippin makes an appearance on What Not To Wear and weeps as he is told he must give up his wardrobe of old cloaks and go out to buy a capsule collection of puce pullovers.

Pippin is oblivious to the battle raging about him as he surveys the results of his latest attempt to pull the tablecloth off the table while leaving everything standing.

Pippin: *SNEEZE* "Ewwww!"

OR

Pippin: "I can barely read this, and my eyes hurt. I think it says: 'Warning! Do not read this! May cause harmful stress to your eyes!'"

OR

Pippin: "It says take a left at the Black Gate?! That can't be right. Ohh! I hate MapQuest!"

Pippin: "Woh, there's a finger in this cloak! I should sue!"

Mail: 58$
Riding-Pony: 67$ a day
nice riding gloves: 23$
finding that Frodo ditched you so that you can fight in the war alone: Priceless


For everything else, there's The One Ring

Pippin at one of those Early Bird Sales. Apparently he wasn't early enough. His face falls in dissappointment as he picks through what's left.

Pippin realized that there was a hole in his extra large bag of pipeweed. :(

Pippin's OCD
 

Heedless of the war raging all around when the stain was discovered Pippin immediately had to attempt to remove it.

Pippin: "Boy this is a stubborn one"

Now I can be like Frodo....
 

Oooh, I found Harry Potter's invisibility cloak!!

Pippin clutches his security blanket as he wonders how he, a hobbit amongst men, got to be the tallest thing on the battle field..

Pippin: "A stain on my new cloak!? Inconceivable!!!"

Newun!
 

Merry(out of screen): Look pippin mushrooms!
Pippin: I've got one here.

http://www.freewebs.com/lord_ofthe_r.../TTTFrodo4.jpg

Frodo:I've got to get this ring out of my arm!

Pippin, always the most sensitive hobbit, is attending the mid-battle trampling of a now dead Orc.

Pippin: *tearing up* Why? Why did he die so young?! *sobs*

Can't see this one at all

Just when Frodo thought he had got to the bottom of that staircase, he found there was another set going down for another five miles.
Frodo: I give up!

OR

Frodo watches with interest as two ants fight each other to the death.

[EDIT]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6.../TTTFrodo4.jpg

That any better, mormegil?

Even after Scouring the Shire, Bag End just wasn't the same for Frodo.

Or...

Frodo sits thinking about puppies and rainbows, but meanwhile he is about to be eaten by a giant cave.

Or...

Frodo pauses to contemplate outside the door to Moria, wherein he had *finally* lost that darned Fellowship.

Frodo: "How do we know that Merry and Pippin are alive?"

Sam: "What does your heart tell you?"

Frodo: "That they are dead."

Sam: "Look, Mr. Frodo, you can't think like that. The heart is supposed to be a source of hope."

Frodo: "What about Daddy Three Foot Six's angina?"

Gordon the Stone Troll was very proud of his new Frodo the Ringbearer ear stud.