Gandalf: What? No, Legolas, I'm sorry. Your picture didn't make it into this issue.

or...

Gandalf: I only read it for the articles, I swear!

;)

Gandalf... yet another innocent victim who saw the breakdancing orcs.

OR

Gandalf is reading the book How To Fall Asleep. (He's gone through most of it already! :D )
Method #6,042: "Find a handy object and knock yourself out."

Pippin: In the Year 2000...

Gandalf: must you always do that whenever i read an old book...oooh backstreet boys are back! i'm as agiddy as a schoolgirl!

Gandalf: Oh look, this book has a new picture.

http://jmsstyxnyes.tripod.com/lotr/haldir/hal05.jpg

Aragorn: Haldir, you really hurt Legolas' feelings.

Haldir: He started it.

Legolas: You called me Captain Obvious! (turns away pouting).

Haldir: Well you are.

Aragorn and Haldir argue over the cost of the new bug-zapper.

Here we go again....
 

Aragorn: "You mean we aren't in Mirkwood?!"
Haldir: "No, you have entered the realm of Galadriel."
Aragorn: "But I followed the directions perfectly. Ohh! I hate MapQuest!"

OR

Legolas can't take his eyes off of those breakdancing orcs.

OR

Haldir: *gossip*
Aragorn: "I'm telling you, I heard he was uncloaked... again!"
Haldir: "No! This is getting out of hand."
Aragorn: "I know. I've even heard that he has a scrapbook full of all the times he's been caught on camera while he was uncloaked!" (see previous pic)
Haldir: "You don't say..." *gossip*

OR

Haldir: "So, I push Legolas over the edge, and you'll let me have your sword."
Aragorn: "Right. It is agreed."
Haldir: "We have an accord." (<--Pirates of the Caribbean) :D
Aragorn: "Shake on it."

OR

Haldir: "Inconceivable!"

OR

Aragron (talking about Legolas and Haldir): "I hate being the middle-man when they fight like this."

"Borrowing" some jokes.
 

Aragorn: It was just a bit of shampoo. You misjudge poor Legolas!

Haldir: I don't want to be his judge. I want to be his executioner.

Go Duck Dodgers!
 

~old pic~

Gandalf: maybe if i stare at this long enough they'll think i'm reading it

Aragorn: he still can't read can he

Frodo: nope

Extending on to my previous...

Aragorn: Haldir, you really hurt Legolas' feelings.

Haldir: He started it.

Legolas: You called me Captain Obvious (turns and pouts)

Haldir: Captain Obvious! Captain Obvious!

Legolas: I can't hear you.

Aragorn: (brings down voice so Legolas can't hear) Look, we all know he's Captain Obvious, but you know how he gets touchy about being called that.

Haldir: Captain Obvious!

slash...
 

Haldir: Why are you telling me this?

Aragorn: Because I'm his best friend and he's embarrassed.

Haldir: Is he 45 or something? Who has their friends ask people out for them!?

Aragorn: Look I'm prepared to give you Legolas, but in return we want Celeborn.
Haldir: No deal.
Aragorn: I'll throw in Sam too.
Haldir:...oh alright. It's a deal.

As Legolas counts, Aragorn and Haldir debate on the best hiding place.

OR

This is Legolas, seconds before falling victim to Aragorn and Haldir's pie-in-the-face prank.

Similar to Alcarillo's but I promise this came immediately to mind before I read it.


Aragorn and Haldir argue over the ethics and morality of using a bug zapper.

Haldir: Amazing how the new light fixture is doing absolutely nothing to illuminate our surroundings.

or..

Aragorn: Don't look now, but there are people observing us from the bushes.
Haldir: That stupid nancy Prince of Mirkwood -- he's guarding us on the wrong side!

or...

Elf Hiding in the Bush: Hah, the hilt of that scruffy guy's sword looks really questionable.
Other Elf Hiding in the Bush: No wonder poor Haldir looks so surprised.

or...

Little do Aragorn and Haldir realize that they've walked right into Legolas' and the Lorien Elves' game of hide-and-seek.

Legolas to Aragorn: First you dared me to uncloak Gandalf, then you dared me to dance with those orcs, and now you dare me to get zapped by the bug zapper!? I've had it with you!

stomps off

Mr. Dead hand agrees.
 

Aragorn: So there you have it! Balrogs do have wings!

Haldir: It cannot be!

OR

Aragorn: So there’s my plan! What do you think?

Haldir: What? You haven’t told me anything. You just came in here and said 'so there’s my plan'.

Aragorn: Look what I carved!
Haldir: Is it alive?
Legolas: I'm a real boy!



That was strange.

Aragorn: Haldir, did anyone ever tell you what beautiful eyes you have?

Haldir: Why Aragorn, I ...

Legolas: Oh my God! They're going to kiss! I'm not looking! I'm not looking! *turns away*

Aragorn: Some day lad, all this will be yours.
Leggy: The curtains?

Aragorn: Now you stay here, and make sure nobody comes in until I get back.
Haldir: Right. You stay here, and don't let anyone in until I get back.
Aragorn: No, YOU stay here...

Haldir: So, you have the Ringbearer?
Aragorn: Yes. Yes, we do.
Haldir: Can I have him? It's my birthday.
Aragorn: Uh, no. But you can have Legolas.
Legolas: Fine! *after a short pause* Gimli! I need to be consoled!

or

Aragorn: I'm going to be King some day. But, I want more than Gondor.
Haldir: So, if I help you overthrow Galadriel and Celeborn, you'll make me Lord of Lorien?
Aragorn: Yes.
Haldir: I won't do it.
Aragorn: I'll let you have Celeborn...
Haldir: Yay!

or

Aragorn: Okay, Haldir. Here's my plan. I need you to speak in Elvish, so I can pretend to not understand you.
Haldir: Why?
Aragorn: It'll increase my screen time, and that'll make Boromir really mad.
Haldir: Cool. I'll do it.
Aragorn: And, it'll also prevent those Hobbits from giving me a bath.

Aragorn: Look, it's my understanding that if we want to hide from orcs, we turn OFF the light!

Aragorn: "Look, if we focus hard, we can find Legolas, ok?"

Haldir: "Find him? But...he's right over there."

Aragorn: "Yes that's the spirit, let's start looking, eh?"

Haldir: "Turn around, ye gowk!"


Meanwhile...


Legolas: *mutters* "Where is that Aragorn....."

Aragorn comforts a group of wood-elves traumatised by davem's latest antics.

Aragorn: Listen, Haldir, don't play hardball. If you know where Gandalf is, just tell me.

Haldir: Friend, if I knew I would tell you. You have my word.

Legolas: Um, you guys... I think I found Gandalf... and he seems to have lost his cloak!

OR

Aragorn: So, if you could, I need you to turn up at Helm's Deep.

Haldir: But... that's not supposed to happen.

Legolas: You're telling me! I was a good character in the book!

Monty Python Reruns...next it'll be Bowling For Soup songs
 

Legolas: uh guys...the dragon...it comes in the NIIIIGHT

Aragorn: which one of you showed Legolas www.homestarrunner.com now huh! i swear i'll do something hurtful to you

Elf: What are you going to do? nibble our bums?

Aragorn: i heard that! who said it! come on! chicken...come on attack me!

Elves: right! we can take you!

Aragorn: wait, attack me with these rasberries, there a whole basket each! no come on attack me! you worm!

Elves: right! charge!

Aragorn: when being stalked by an ugly mob with rasberries, simply pull the lever and release the tiger!

Aragorn is the only one not fascinated by the Dwarf mating dances.

OR

Haldir is literally dying of boredom. Aragorn had never been an exciting spokesman.

Aragorn and Haldir dare each other to goose Legolas.

Or

Haldir telepathically promises his fellow guards that Aragorn is going straight in that bath the moment he stops talking. The other elf points out that they could have suffocated before then.

Aragorn and Haldir plot to throw Pippin down a well while Legolas listens to the crickets and the Balrogs, I mean bullfrogs.

While the cameramen hide in the bushes Haldir is the new "punk'd" victim.

Aragorn: But Haldir, I don't have the money yet! Give me till next week. Come on, buddy, be a friend.
Haldir: You don' undahstand, Aragawn. I need da money by tomorrah. An' if I don' get it, Vinnie an' Tony here -- an Nicholas over there, if he stops playin' with his hair long enuff -- are gonna make ya real sorry.
Aragorn: I'm not afraid of you.
Haldir: Yeah? I think you'll be singin' a different tune after we've paid yer lady friend a visit.
Aragorn: You $&#*!!!
Haldir: You kiss yer motha with that mouth?
Aragorn: My mother died when I was a kid and you know it.
Haldir: Oh, yeah. Bein' mortal an' all. Musta slipped my mind. *dons shades* Money by tomorrah, or else. Hanyealyë?
Aragorn: What?
Haldir: *sigh* Capische?
Aragorn: Oh. Yeah. I capische.
Haldir: No. What you oughta say is hanyëan. Or hanyeanyë, if it makes ya feel better. An' if you don' get me the money, you're gonna need to feel better.
Graham Chapman: This is getting much too silly.

Pheasants in the Pipes
 

Legolas was finding it hard to give up gossip for lent.

OR

Aragorn: Hay, Haldir, we really need your help. You see-

Haldir: Oh my Eru! It can talk!

Aragorn:Legolas keep watch (legolas keeps watch) yo haldir my homie whats up G you got the stuff?

Haldir:You got the dough?

Aragorn:I got it

Haldir:Than i got the stuff....but be careful this shampoo even gets rid of dandriff

Leglas:Come on man I need my BUZZ!!

Aragorn: You got the stuff?

Haldir: Yeah, you got the money?

Aragorn: Yeah I got the money. Now show me the stuff.

Haldir: You don't see the stuff 'till I see the money.

Legolas: Oh good grief, there’s only one-way to stop this. He's wearing a wire!

Haldir: What? Why you son of a Warg! *Elves shoot Aragorn*

going back to page 4 or 5 i found this quote i just wanted to share it considering how long the thread is now :eek: :D

Not another Holy Grail caption...
 

Aragorn: Guards, make sure Legolas doesn't leave this room until I come and get him.
Haldir: Not to leave the room... even if you come and get him.
Guard #2: Hiccup
Aragorn: No, no. *Until* I come and get him.
Haldir: Until you come and get him, we're not to enter the room.
Aragorn: No, no, no. You *stay* in the room, and make sure *he* doesn't leave.
Haldir: And you'll come and get him.
Guard #2: Hiccup
Aragorn: Right.
Haldir: We don't need to do anything, apart from just stop him entering the room.
Aragorn: No, no. *Leaving* the room.
Haldir: Leaving the room, yes.
Aragorn: All right?
Guard #2: Hiccup

or

Aragorn: So, who are we going to lynch tonight?

NOOO! We can't start a new thread! I'd have to start my record breaking captioning from scratch! :( [331 posts now!]

Anyway; a caption...

Vigo: Listen. You tell Peter Jackson that he'd better get me a part in The Hobbit or I'll tell the world about his secret obsession with monkeys.

Haldir: "For the last time, we are not going to let you into the Long Blonde Hair Club. You don't have long blonde hair!"
Legolas: "I don't know him, I swear."

The Hunter eavesdrops on the two remaining Werewolves.

Not this again . . .
 

Haldir: I've seen a bird fly! I've seen a house fly! But I ain't never seen a Balrog fly!

Thumbs up from the Dead Hand
 

Aragorn: Psst! Haldir! Here's a new Picture!

Haldir: What? Speak up!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6...000Caption.jpg

Frodo: That Book token was out of date you little sneak! :mad: