Aragorn: Gandalf, just apologise and we can be on our way!

Gandalf: Never! I stand by my statement! Your mother was very rude to me Mr. Balrog!

OR

Balrog: I said NO sugar in my tea!

OR

[A joke from many, many captions ago]

Balrog: I shall kill you! You have met your doom in the dark deep of the mighty- ... Ah! I'm on fire! Why didn't you tell me I was on fire?

Gandalf: Sorry, I thought it was your look.

Just before he attacks Gandalf, a giant hand comes out of nowhere and grabs the Balrog around the waste.

OR

Gandalf: "I'm sorry to have bothered you, but I was wondering: Do you have Wings?"
Balrog: "Well,... I, er... uhm,... I've never checked, actually, so I don't really know."

OR

Gandalf's fireworks turn against him.

It took some effort, but fortunately Gandalf was able to deflect the Balrog's guided missiles.

Very Corny
 

This Balrog was particularly hot-headed :rolleyes:

Old jokes--with a twist.
 

Gandalf: Don't make me use . . . the shiney pokey-stick of Doom!

The Fellowship finally found a way to convince Gandalf to keep his Cloak on.

Gandalf: "Well, with that big of a torch, I certainly don't need my light anymore."

OR

Gandalf: "This isn't the right path, and there's a Balrog to boot! Ohh! I hate MapQuest!"

OR

Gandalf: "Wow, you big."
Balrog: "Don't say that! I'm very sensitive about my weight."

Aragorn: Do you suppose we should not have let him smoke all that weed back in the Hall of Mazarbul?
Boromir: Yeah, right. What d'ya reckon is he seeing this time?
Aragon: Dunno, he kept shouting about pursuing orks and cave trolls all the way down.
Boromir: As we could hear anything... Must be something bigger this time, the way he jumps and shouts there...
Aragorn: Oh, I'll better go and get him before he throws himself off
Boromir: You better do that

Shoes!
 

Apparently, that is Saruman the White... uncloaked! :eek:

OR

Gandalf: Come on, just a few more steps! You can do it!

Balrog: NO! I can't do it! It's too high up!

Gandalf: This is the last time I let Frodo talk me into teaching circus tricks.

Showing my age again ...
 

Question:

Whose last words were "Lawks a mercy, my bottom's on fire!"?

a The Balrog of Moria
b Joan of Arc
c Feanor

I remember when...
 

Bill the Balrog: No no no Gandalf, left foot, then right foot!

Unfunny Technicality, but I couldn't resist
 

Gandalf: Oh. That's a shame.
Balrog: What? *roaaaaaaar*
Gandalf: Oh, cut it out, you're not a real Balrog. Balrogs are meant to be flame wreathed in shadow, not vice versa. *Turns his back and walks off muttering*

Yes, outrageous ponytails do rock; but it's mighty annoying when they get caught on, say, a bridge.

Gandalf seeks to impress the rest of the Fellowship with his new novelty lighter....

OR

Gandalf reflects for a moment on the wisdom of trying to sneak the Fellowship across the Bridge without paying the toll.....

Gandalf: "I tought I saw a puddy tat. I did, I did. I did see a puddy tat."

The Fellowship learned why there hung a sign "flammable" around the balrog's neck.

Generic Balrog: Leave him, Bill, he's not worth it

Bill (the Balrog): NO! He has to face the consequences!

Gandalf: All I said was it must be hard for Balrogs to take a shower.

Only TMBG fans will get this...
 

Minimum waaaaaaage -- YAH!

Gandalf: You cannot pass! ... pzzft ... You cannot pass! ... pzzft ... You cannot pass! ... pzzft ... You cannot pass! ... pzzft ... You cannot pass! ... pzzft ... You cannot pass! ... pzzft ... You cannot pass! ... pzzft ...

Frodo: Great, the Gandalf decoy seems to be working. Come on fools, let's fly!

Gandalf: "Oh maaan, I didn't know the Crazy World of Arthur Brown were still touring?"

Balrog: My theme tune is so much better than yours!

Gandalf: Is not!

Balrog: Is to!

Gandalf wonders how the Dwarrowdelf could have been sealed off for centuries, and still have enough oxygen to support and army of Orcs, and still have enough oxygen for an eternally combusting Balrog. Funny, aint it?

Gandalf: OH! So that's why you're not supposed to put metal in a microwave!

OR

Balrog: For the last time! Tom Bombadill can't be a Maiar! I'm a Maiar, I should know!

Gandalf: Shut up you! Your not supposed to even have wings!

Balrog: Oh you had to bring that up didn't you!

Gandalf couldn't help but be impressed by Pippin's Hallowe'en costume.


or...


Glom the Giant soon realised that fire was dangerous.

Balrog: Gandalf...I am your father!

Gandalf: noooooooooo! Daddy!!!!

~or~


Balrog: Theres something you should know about us

Gandalf: whats that?

Balrog: i am your fathers, brothers, nephews, cousins, former roommate

Gandalf: what does that make us?

Balrog: absolutely nothing

dorky humor
 

Balrog: If you so much as think of uncloaking yourself here... *waves whip menacingly*

or

Balrog: Ph34r my 1337 skillz.

or

Gandalf: All your bridge are belong to us.

Fortunately, due to the large amount of shadow surrounding him, the Balrog couldn't quite make out where exactly Gandalf was, leaving him perfectly safe as long as he didn't move.
He moved.

Balrog: New pic or else!

http://www.vgcity.com/~media/lotrkingpc/lotrkingpc5.jpg

Gandalf prepares to do a cheesy matrix move.

Old Pics:

The Balrog has finally caught up with Gandalf.

Balrog: You!

Gandalf: Please, I didn't mean to!

Balrog: How dare you say my daughter looks like the most beautiful horse you've ever seen! I went through all that trouble setting your date up, and you do that!

Gandalf: Well, uhh...

Balrog: Time to die, Bill!

Gandalf: Wait! I'm not Bill!

Apparently, the Balrog forgot his glasses. Gandalf now wished they hadn't let poor Bill the Pony go.

New Pic:

Gandalf's School for Breakdancing Orcs seems to be failing, as all the dancers keep dying.

Eye see thee!
 

:D

Gandalf: There are so many Orcs! 100,000 at least! I've got a plan. Pippin, distract them!

Pippin: :eek:

OR

Gandalf: Will you two guards stop playing rock, scissors, paper!

Gandalf(to gondorian in background):Yoiu relize you have a sword right the guy's right in front of you use your sword not a bow!

-or-

Gandalf:Press the X button now come on I can use my special move! X,X,press X Darn you!

-or-

Gaandalf:I know the CGI artists are busy with Gollum but come on this is ridiculas(sp?)

In the confusion of battle the gondorians and orcs forget whom they should be fighting and they instead of fighting each other they fight their own species.

(look closely and it appears that the gondorian soldiers are in combat and the two orcs are fighting each other)

A pint of tea
 

Orc (fighting Gandalf): You will no longer be uncloaked!

Gandalf: NOOOOO!!!!

OR

Gandalf and the Orc test out their new Disco moves.

Gandalf finally meets his end. Will he come back to life... again?

OR

Gandalf, looking down on the fallen warrior in front of him: "Now did I just kill an orc or a Gondorian? I can't tell!"

OR

Gandalf: "Why are you attacking me?! I only asked for directions!"
Orc: "You used MapQuest! I hate MapQuest!"

OR

Orc: "Gandalf, you've been naughty. Time for your spanking."

Gandy: That dead guy is floating... :eek:

Gandalf does not realise that the small fairy next to the fallen Orc was planning to make sure Gandalf got uncloaked at an inappropriate moment.

OR

Being a bodyguard for the Break-dancing Orcs was no easy task.

Many fell in the battle for the last ticket to see the Breakdancing Orcs Live!(They are in the background.)

OR

Gandalf suddenly sees that the orc he is fighting has an arrow stuck in his butt. That can't be normal.

OR

Gandalf: "How many times do I have to kill the same orc! Ack! There are two more already!"

OR

Darth VadOrc: "Obi-Gan-Dalf-Nobi. When I left you, I was but the learner. Now I have become the Master."
Obi-Gan: "You're only a Master of Evil, Darth!"

Gandalf suddenly realises that glowing white in the middle of the night will make him particularly susceptible to Orc arrows.
Gandalf: Bugger.