Burzum: "I've killed the grey fool!"

Gandalf: "No." (Digs his sword into the Orc then finishes him off with his staff.)

MallornCard Ad
 

A good sword: $16
Sword-fighting lessons: $72
Getting a sword in the butt: Bad.

If you will look veeery closely...
 

The End.

Gandalf: Look here, Orc, We need a New Picture and there is nothing you can do about it!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6...oromir29_b.jpg

Boromir prepared to kick the giant stone rugby ball after betting Gimli 4000 silver pennies! :eek:

OR

Boromir: Gandalf! Your cat has just made a mess on the floor! Clean it up!

Dr. Boro-Who: That doesn't look like the TARDIS I remember!

Everyone knew what was happening. They knew Gandalf had done it again. He'd taken that blasted cloak off. That's why none of them looked his way. (Except Arwen, who was doing her best statue imitation in the background. :eek: )

OR

Boromir stands beside what had just been an egg, but was now flattened by some big stone thingy that had fallen from the rafters.

OR

Boromir: "What a great-looking hat!"

OR

Boromir is drunk and is having trouble walking that line.

Trying to catch up...
 

(Balrog pic) Gandalf: I didn't order 'HOT' wings, I wanted mild!

(council pic) Boromir: HEY! Who took my 'HOT' wings!

And lo! Elrond morphed into a block of stone, ensuring that Boromir would lose yet another bet.

The Life Drawing class waits expectantly as their somewhat reluctant model approaches the podium.

Pheasants in the Pipes
 

Someone has written, "Boromir is an Orc" on the stone thing. Everyone suspects Elrond.

OR

Gimli watches in anticipation as Boromir approaches the secret trap door.

Boromir: i never wanted to be a Stewards Son, i always wanted to be...a Lumberjack!

*Elves in Mountie uniforms march in*

Boromir: leaping from tree to tree as they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia! oh i would sing! sing! sing!

I'm a lumberjack and i'm okay i sleep all night and i work all day

Elvish Mounties: Hes a Lumberjack and hes okay, he sleeps all night and he works all day

The One Ring, is a wretched thing!
 

Guy behind Boromir: For the last time, you don't have heat vision! So just sit down!

OR

Boromir spots a penny on the floor! :D

Boromir, with his cocky strut and fixed concentration, tried to mask the fact that he passed gas upon standing. The dwarves and humans were not fooled!

Despite being surrounded by the finest dwarvish and Noldorin craftsmen remaining in Middle Earth, Boromir is the only one who notices that the giant sundial is upside down..

Boromir: Wait a second...was that there before?

Eye see thee!
 

People began to worry when Boromir began to hallucinate Aragorn bowing before him...

OR

Boromir prepares to eat the One Ring.

Gimli: He's going to do it! I can't believe it!

Gimli was betting a bar of gold that Boromir would lose the staring contest against the pedestal.

Boromir gamely offers to get up and change the channel on the mysteriously minimal Elvish television set. "They could at least pretend it has a remote. Weirdos."

OR

Many years ago, when cash was tight, Elrond agreed to allow McDonalds to sponsor his stone pedestals.

The Middle-earth strongest man competition gets under way.

Or...

Boromir: This is the Ring? But...Frodo said it was like carrying a 5,000 lb stone, not that it was one, I don't think he ment for us to take it literally.

Erestor: Well Frodo isn't here is he, so it's left to us. This is definitely the Ring. When Frodo said it was like carrying a 5,000 lb stone, he literally ment it was 5,000 lb stone. It's like how Balrogs have a shadow reaching out like two vast wings. Obviously, Balrogs have wings...Don't you know anything?

Man next to the Dwarf: Yes, also like how Sauron's an eye. They wouldn't refer to Sauron as an eye if he wasn't an eye.

Erestor: Exactly. So, Frodo wouldn't have told us it was like a 5,000 lb stone, unless it was a 5,000 lb stone. Get it?

Shut me up!
 

Arwen: DOC-TAH!

Random guy to his right: *acts like one of the guys from the episode with the giant eyeball creature*

(me: *is a geek*)

Boromir: "Excuse me, is that a masonic symbol?"

Even finest Gondorian leather could not protect Boromir's nether regions from thumbtacks put on his chair by every single member of the council...

Just as Boromir got up to change the channel, the evil Television thief strikes again! :eek:

OR

Boromir has "Kick me" written on his back, Gimli can hardly hold in his laughter.

Does that mean we'll see Boromir uncloaked?!! :D

Boromir: "Sorry about this, lads. Just carry on without me for a few minutes. I think I've drunk too much Miruvor."

Boromir can no longer hide his broken foot.

or

Boromir: Almost there...oh, darn it! I hate Mapquest!

:D

Boromir: "This is a set up. There's supposed to be a sword in it. A huge sword. And I can remove it. I swear I can. I am the once and future Arthir."

Boromir finally cracks, and challenges the block of stone to a joust.


or


Boromir had only turned away for a split-second, but it was a grave mistake. He looked back toward the pedestal, and noticed that the pie which he had left there was gone. Someone had stolen it. But who?

Boromir takes a deep breath before demonstrating his karate-chop.

What REALLY happened at the Councl of Elrond
 

Boromir: No, no, no, no *hic* ... no! No, really. Lisshen *hic* to me. I know what we should do. Yesh I do. Really. I really really do. *hic* I really really really *hic* do. We should take thish ... er ... um ... what ish it again? Ah yesh ... thish ... er ... Ring thingy. *hic* And we should uszhe it againsht Shauma ... Sharum ... er ... that bad guy. Yesh, that'sh what I think. *hic* I really really really do. *burp* Ah, Aragorn mate, I love ya. I really do. You're me beshtesht mate in all the world. Um ... what were we talking about, again ...?

All Council members: *Thinking* Ignore him! Don't make eye contact! Maybe he'll just go away.

Umm...guys...I think we have a problem. *stares at the spot where the Ring was just a second ago*

What the council was actually about
 

All the bachelors from around Middle-earth watch Boromir intently as he demonstrates his "I'm a warrior of Gondor" approach to the mock woman in Elrond's class on Courting Elven Maidens 101

The council was getting so boring that Boromir decided to eat the stone thing in the middle.

OR

Boromir's entry for the 'modern Art of the Year award' was surprisingly similar to something Gimli had seen in Rivendel once

Boromir tries to impress that last race he hasn't offended yet...

B: Whoa! Nice piece of rock here, I am most certian it's granite... glances at Gimli

G: flusters up Ah! You stooopid man! Any idiot can tell that's just a piece of styro-foam, cleverly painted to look like stone, and it's not even granite paint... You've clearly managed to offend me.

B: slowly falls back in chair...

Elrond: Gimli! I will have none of this! Clearly as you can see, this is a fine piece of china!


~ Aesthete

Boromir would have knelt before Aragorn and recognized him as the true king if only he wasn't feeling so arthritic. Really, he would.

Boro looks menacingly(sp?) at the new pic.

http://www.freewebz.com/lord_ofthe_rings/Bilbo2.jpg

Bilbo tries to joke his way out of getting arrested.

Shoes!
 

Bilbo shows off how many times he has changed the Riddles in the Dark Chapter.

OR

Bilbo shows off how many times he saw Gandalf the grey uncloaked. Frodo thought it was no laughing matter.

"Look, you block-headed Bracegirdles! No hands!"

OR

Bilbo prepares to do something he has always wanted to do: put his hands up to his ears and flap them in a barbaric fashion, while making rhude noises with his tongue, right before the eyes of all the gentlehobbits of the Shire. Little does he know that the Ring is not on his finger. His vacation quickly becomes extended.

:) I like it! That's a good one