Pippin: the pizza is here m'lord

Denethor: did you tip him?

Pippin: uhh...no

Denethor: Good man!

Even though Denethor already expressly told Pippin that the mushrooms were for him and not Pippin, Pippin still decided to try his best 'puppy dog' face in hopes that it would produce the desired result.

Even the lifelike Hobbit-style pepper mill could not lift Denethor's spirits.

Pippin: Please sir, can I have some more?

Denethor: Way to go you stupid Hobbit! All thanks to you, Faramir came back and tagged me! ME! His own father! How could he!? As for your puishment, you will go tag that Wizard Gandalf for me.

Pippin: Yes sir. But I have one question.

Denethor: What's that?

Pippin: What if he's uncloaked?

Pippin spent his days in loneliness, watching Lord Denethor try to break the record for farthest watermelon seed spat over and over and over again.

Pippin is bored.

or

Pippin now regrets entering Denethor's service. The late night DnD sessions in the Tower with Sauron (via PalantirNet) have made the Steward rather...crazy.

Pippin: Milord, I don't think Faramir can handle taking Osgiliath.
Denethor: Why not?! How dare you question the judgement of the Grand Archmage of The White Tower!
Pippin: He isn't a high level Wizard, and nor are his men contingents of devoted Paladins....
Denethor: Outrageous! Fine! But if he doesn't go and level up, we'll never be able to conquer the Morgul Dungeon. Sauron is one mean Dungeon Master...

Pippin has bet the statue a shiny new sword that Denethor will lose the staring contest against the wine jug.

After rapidly scarfing half a plate, Denethor paused, looked up and began to giggle.

Or...

As the gentle sound of Pippin singing "Stayin' Alive" fill the hall, Denethor's eyes fill with tears.

Or...

Denethor starts as he sees Galadriel in his wine decanter. (Look look, you can see it!)

Or...

Pippin is not amused as Denethor snorts several kinds of food out his nose.

Denethor attempts to beat the Guieness World Record of the most food eatene in one hour.

or

Denethor plans to take Pippin by unawares by counting to ten in his head.

Denethor realizes he's eaten a chicken bone...

Denethor stares at the strange man that is suddenly sitting on his table.

OR

Pippin: "And so I followed this white rabbit, and he fed me this mushroom, and now even Treebeard's drink won't make me grow!"

OR

Pippin manages to avert his eyes, yet Denethor cannot take his eyes off of the Breakdancing Orcs.

OR

Denethor: "What do you mean Faramir sent me a postcard from Rivendel! I told him to go to Osgiliath!"
Pippin: "He said he followed the directions you gave him perfectly."
Denethor: "Curses! I knew that I was being set up. Ohh! I hate MapQuest!"

OR

Pippin *thinking*: "He should have gotten the Catfish." *shakes head*

Denethor: Just so that you are aware Master Hobbit, the pouty puppy-dog-look does not sway me. I've been living with it from my son for decades.

Denethor soon discovers that along with wide cultural differences, pippin added alittle too much leaf 'spice' to the tomatoes, in a hope it would liven the old lord up a bit... What he got was a flameful response...


~ Aesthete

Pippin: Would sir like a wahfeyr thin mint?

Dinnertime interruptions.
 

Denethor: Not now, that wine glass is checking me out.

or

Denethor: No, I don't buy Hobbit Scout cookies! Now git!

or

Denethor: What do you mean you don't accept MallornCard?

Pippin was so hungry he began to think Denathor looked remarkably sandwich-like.

OR

Pippin: You're going to need stronger knives and forks if you’re going to eat through the table.

Pippin was not very impressed with the belch Denethor had just produced, especially given the amount he had just eaten.

OR

Pippin: It's Gandalf my lord! Turn your eyes away . . . Oh, too late.

Because he was strategizing how to get the matching Hobbit-style salt shaker from Theoden!

Peregrin Took, the original Little Chef.

OR

Peregrin: "Oh he's such a slow eater! If he'd finish a bit more quickly then I could be excused from the tea table sooner and get more playing out time!"

OR

Peregrin watched in awe as Denethor practiced for the 64th Annual Minas Tirith Trencherman Championships.

OR

After a few weeks Denethor began to tire of the cardboard standee of Pippin he had bought from Forbidden Planet. "It's the eyes, they seem to follow me everywhere..."

Denathor: *nibbles small amount of food* Well, I'm full up. Peregrin, throw this other stuff out would you.

OR

Denathor: Faramir, you are not going to impress me by imitating Gandalf, now put your cloak back on.

Seeing Gandalf Uncloaked during meal time was not conducive to keeping your food down.

A tribute to Oddwen (with apologies)
 

It was a bitter surprise that the jelly wasn't strawberry, currant or even cherry, but Boroberry...

Denethor: "What flavor is this? It's not strawberry...not blueberry...not raspberry....WAIT! It must be lmpberry!!! Bleeek!"

Meanwhile Werewolf Pippin smiles on the inside...

Bethberry decides to refrain from comment at this point in time, as she thinks Paul Newman did such a fine job with the boiled egg scene in Cool Hand Luke that it need not be regurgitated here.

But I bet the boroberry jello was in a ring mold.

Denathor just got a p-m telling him that he was going to be a Werewolf for the 9th game in a row.

OR

Pippin wonders weather to tell Denathor about the goose that was under the table.

Denethor: "Strange... I don't remember ordering a hobbit statue."

OR

Pippin: "The Mouth of Sauron requests an audience, my lord."
Denethor: "Inconceivable!"

OR

Denethor realizes he just swallowed the ring he had on his right hand! :eek:

OR

Pippin believes in love at first sight.
(background music: "I can't take my eyes off of you...")

OR

Pippin: ??
Denethor: Well come now, sing me the Mario Theme Song.
Pippin: ?? "But it doesn't have words?!"
Denthor: "I don't care, make some up."
Pippin: ??

Having dinner with the Mouth of Sauron was never a pretty sight. Denathor had quite lost his appetite.

OR

Having dinner with the Mouth of Sauron's Dentist was enough to break the will of even Denathor.

Dentist: And He never brushes!

Denathor: Hmm. Yes. Very interesting.

Dentist: I keep telling him, ‘Look after them teeth’ but he just talks all Shakespearian to me and I can’t understand a word of it.

Denathor: Thou thinks thou art wise, but nay, thou art a fool. Get ye gone before I set my Hobbit on ye!

Denetor:Oh please Peregrin you actually expect me to believe that my son Boromir actually liked Disco? That's crazy talk

Pippin: Well, this is Crazy Captions, sir.

bearer of ill news
 

Pippin's news that over half of the Gondorian army was taking an official leave-of-absence to play in the next Werewolf game was not well received by Denethor.

Denethor then realized that Faramir had stolen the hobbit-style centerpiece.

Pippin: "Sire, I think you can stop comfort eating now. The Barrow-Downs are up and running again. You can get your new Crazy Caption on at last."

Denathor only stopped for a moment when the chef told him that by some accident, Faramir had fallen into the meat grinder.

OR

Denathor has just found out that he is descended from grovelling stone trolls, where as Pippin tries to work out since when has he been going out with a creepy Nazgûl.

Denethor is haunted by the next picture...

http://maxa.clems.free.fr/AICNArwenAragorn.jpg


Arwen: Who was that blonde girl you were staring at?
Aragorn: Uhhh...what blonde girl.....honey?

Arwen: Making Frodo look like a mini-Nazgul is not amusing!

Arwen: Good Eru, what happened to Frodo's head?! :eek:

Aragron: YOU saw Gandalf the grey uncloaked?

OR

Aragorn: What the Angband are you doing here? What happened to Glorfindell?

Arwen: He had to go!

Aragorn: You mean he's dead?

Arwen: Yes! As dead as that squirrel!

Aragorn: Which one?

Arwen: *shoots arrow into tree, there is a squeaking sound* THAT squirrel!

Aragorn: What do you mean the rugged look is out?

or

Arwen was elected to be the designated driver of Frodo.

As Arwen and Aragorn bickered, the Ringwraith casually stole their horse.