Gimli doesn't take too kindly to this strange man's hand gesture.

When looking at a photo album, you need to be careful what you say.

Pj: HA ha ha! Look at that guy there! He's got a really stupid beard and look, he's fatter than me!!

Gimli: That’s my mother.

Gimli, while sitting amongst the tents of the Rohirrim, turns suddenly to find a strange man sitting beside him. Bizarre, those Rohan folk are.

OR

PJ: "Now this is important: I want you to bumble around like an idiot and act all defensive when Legolas kicks your butt at everything. Oh, and you lose at drinking."
Gimli(thinking and clearly not paying attention): "Is that some grey hair?"

OR

PJ: "No, it's mine, I tell you!"
Gimli: "Oh, yeah, well prove it!
PJ: "Look, it's even got my name on it!"
Gimli: "Oh, so now you think that you can have anything if you just stick your name onto it!"

OR

PJ tries desparately to explain that Gimli just does not ax Legolas.
PJ: "Come on! You gotta keep to the script!"

OR

PJ can't take it anymore and tries to eat the donut on the TV screen.

OR

PJ (shaking finger and screaming):"Ow! You bit my finger!"
Gimli: "Well, that's what happens when you point it in my face!"

Peter: AHA! See I have video evidence of you stealing my donut! That's why I'm now labeling everything that's mine.

Jackson is unable to contain his glee over beating John Rhys-Davies--who is clearly not amused--at Runescape.

Jackson finds some rare video evidence of Aragorn having a wash... it was many ages old.

OR

After five days, Jackson finally works out the rules of "Where’s Wally?"

OR yet!

Gimli: So it’s the hair that controls him...

Or yet further

Jackson is surprised at who won at Cricket! ;)

Gimli: Werewolf?
PJ: There wolf...
Gimli: What?
PJ: Sorry, I thought you wanted to talk like that.

or

John's Brain: I wonder if eating his brains is against the Screen Actors Guild...

While PJ prattled on about how Gimli should greet Arwen when she arrived at the Paths of the Dead, John Rhys-Davies suddenly spots the drill that he held the bit to.

Or...

John: Psst, PJ...don't look now, but the bagpipes are back.

Or...

This must be one of those fanfictions where a random LotR character is zapped into the Real World.

Jackson: Just look at that, John! 2 hours of filming ruined by a sodding extra!

Man in barrel: Can I come out now? I promise to take my digital watch off this time ...

Saucepan, you gave me an idea

Peter: So you see, no one leaves the room. So that means the murderer is still in here... ... ... ...

Guy in barrel: *gulp*

John reflects...
 

... What is he babbling about? I've had enough of it, this camping life in the woods drives me mad... Not a proper bath in ages, this barrel is no good, not at all, everybody looking, not a proper way to wash ... Wait a minute! Was it a louse I just saw wriggling in Peter's hair? Brrr... it's disgusting.... Should I bang it with an ax?... Should I shave? Talk to screenplay author first thing in the morning, hope they could rewrite some or other episode so this Gimli character would get rid of this beard... It's unhygienic... Whoa! Another one! Should I bang it with an ax?... Should I shave?... Should he shave?...

JRD realises he has spent most of the past four years alternating between the make up caravan and the dermatology clinic in order that Gimli will be a ginger PJ clone. Consequently he knows exactly what his motivation is for the next scene...

John Rhys-Davies: "Shut up and quit babbling about Orcish choreography! Don't you dare even consider including that product placement for Jack Daniels whisky!"

JRD: Ok let me get this straight. You want me to teach the orcs, breakdancing!?!?!?

Another Werewolf Caption
 

John Rhys-Davies has decided upon tonight's victim, while PJ accuses the electronics of werewolvery.

Gimli took notes as he watched Peter Jackson lynch the remaining in swankytown

PJ: "Get some more short jokes in this #@*%$ script!!!"

JRD (thinking): Prosthetics issues aside I'm really beginning to regret signing up for this role!

PJ: Whoaza! Look that that scene! Five times less dialog and twice the action! Oh, look! There's legolas pulling a really non-elven move down the stairway and look, you're hitting your head against the wall as a unique form of dwarvish self-defense incorporated with your secret name!!!

G: I really shouldn't do spin-off sequels with hollywood elves and dwarves...

~ Aesthete

Look at Mr. Jackson's hand
 

Gimli was not happy about being swore at! :D

Or

P-J: Who is that?!

Gimli: That's Gandalf, sir.

P-j: What's he doing?

Gimli: He's just standing there.

P-j: Why isn't he uncloaked like I told him?

Gimli: SO you're responsible for this? :mad:

As PJ describes the elves arrival at Helm's Deep to save the day, JRD knows what he must do to PJ and his 'artistic licence'.
JRD: "For the Professor!"

JRD (thinking): That's one huge spider in PJ's hair, I wonder if I should tell him? No, he'd probably just freak out if I did...still, that's gigantic, I-oops it bit him.

P-j: Who is that?

Gimli: It's "Sir not-appearing-in-this-film" or "Tom Bombadill" as we call him.

Peter Jackson proves to John Rhys-Davies that he has lost weight since his childhood.

John: Dear lord, Peter! Is that you next to the world's largest pumpkin?!
PJ: No, I was the world's largest pumpkin...

The actors always hated it when PJ and his wife/fellow screenwriter Fran started fighting via satellite.

Gimli: you'll make nice for a dwarf women

PJ: What! No! Aaaaah!

PJ: Hey look at this picture. I still can't believe I didn't cut this from the Regular edition!

http://img-nex.theonering.net/movie/...iler02_135.jpg

Aragorn runs into the camerman...
PJ: CUT!!!!

or...

Legolas: I think I'm gonna need more arrows.
Boromir: Thankyou Captain obvious.

or...

Boromir: Come on guys. If we stick together we can take 'em.
Aragorn: Right with you :whispers: Let's go!
Merry: (snickers) We're right behind you buddy.
Pippin: Ya. Don't worry.

or...

Merry's had a bit too many.

Aragorn: We can find Gandalf in the mysterious Castle of Uuugghhh.
Merry: Ooooooo!!
Boromir: It's aaaugggghhh, from the back of the throat.
Merry: No, ooooooo, as in surprise and alarm.
Boromir: Oh so more of an "Ahhhh"
Merry: Yes, Ahhhhhh!

Or how about the old...

Aragorn runs into Frodo who happened to be wearing Gimli's Helmet.

Despite being heavily guarded, Merry sees a side of Aragorn he never wished to and was stopped dead in his tracks.

Boromir: Look, they got Frodo . . .
Aragorn: Keep running!

(There are only three hobbits. Count 'em.)

Merry witnesses Aragorn killing Glorfindel so Arwen can have a bigger part...

Werewolves . . .
 

The PJ pic:

The long-dead Peter Jackson can't hold it in any longer as he watches the proceedings of his first werewolf game...

PJ: "No! It's not him! It's her! She's the one that killed me! Why are you all such bloody stupid villagers!?"

The PJ-Gimli pic:
 

In the fellowship, Merry was as of yet the only one comprehending the existance of the video camera that seemed to follow them everywhere... And he loved it...


~ Aesthete

Aragorn and Merry simultaneously step into separate piles of poop.

OR

Merry: "OooH! Look, it's a pixelized Aragorn!"

OR

Boromir: "Oh, look: we've run into some old friends."
Legolas: "Hey, isn't that a line from Star Wars?"

OR

Merry does his best goldfish impression.

OR

Boromir: "Uh-oh. Pippin, distract them!"
Legolas: "A diversion!"

To play with the Fortunatly/Unfortunatly ...
 

Unfortunatly, Merry didn't see the horn of Gondor tied to Boromir, banged into it, and passed out.

---or---

Aragorn: Wait a minute...why aren't the orcs chasing us anymore?
Legolas: I feel like we're not in Rivendell anymore
Boromir: Thank you captain obvious!
Merry: Where is Frodo?
Pippin: Where is Sam?
Everyone: Where's Gimli?!?

***meanwhile, back at the orcs***
Gimli: Ok, here's how it will work. Now, you come at me, and i'll hit you, and then you come at me and i'll hit you, and then you come at me and i'll hit you. Any questions?
Orcs: um....truce? :smokin:

Aragorn: Merry, Pippin. Whatever you do, don't turn around!

Merry: What is it?

Aragorn: It's Gandalf...

Merry: I see... :eek:

OR

Aragorn: STOP EVERYTHING!

Boromir: What is it?

Aragorn: I've just realised something... ... I think I need a bath...

OR

Aragorn just stepped on a hedgehog.

There was only one toilet at Amon Hen.

Boromir: "Whoa! What's the rush for? My chicken stew wasn't that bad, was it?!"