Theoden stares at the bit of corn stuck in Gandalf's beard.

Gandalf: I love what you have done with your hair.

Théoden: For the last time, you can't eat one of our horses!

OR

Théoden *thinking*: Curses! His beard is bigger than mine!

Gandalf: What say you Theoden King, is my strategy sound?

Theoden: Yes I would say that your strategy is sound and makes sense and in most cases would work but I fear in this it would not.

Gandalf: Why is that?

Theoden: Well why the approach is good and your lines are well written Eowyn is rather young and you...well you're rather old.

Theoden: "Grima! You look so....so old!"

Gandalf: "For the last time, I'm not Grima."

or

Gandalf can't hide his jealousy of Theoden's suave hairstyle.

Gandalf: How many time have I told you, you can't eat anymore of those Hornburgers!

Theoden: But they're sooooo good.

Gandalf: Think of it this way. Taken your age into consideration, and you have a hornburger how many times a weak? 4...? So, 52 weeks in a year, you take 4 times 52, and that's 208 hornburgers a year! Now multiply that by the amount of calories in them...about 450 calories. That is 94,200 calories a year off hornburgers alone! You really need to start taking care of your heart.

Muah
 

Gandalf: So about those RedSox...

Theoden: *sends out deathray of doom...from his eyes, of course.*

Gandalf: "Don't worry, Theoden. I'm sure none of the things Saruman said about you earlier today were true."

Theoden: "Do I really...smell like elderberries?"

Theoden (thinking): :( That's what I'll look like in fifteen years. . .

Gandalf, "OK, now, back on track...number 183 of my 314 "knock-knock" jokes...I just don't understand why you keep changing the subject on me...knock, knock..."

Theoden silently groans and stares at Gandalf, wondering how long he can keep up the polite act.

(Knock knock...who's there...Turin...Turin who...turin the namecard over, honey, I got me a new moniker!)

Gandalf: Is he still staring?
Theoden: Yea, he is not backing off. You might as well get it over with.
Gandalf: D*mn, I owe him money!

(look at Mormegil's avatar)

Gandalf: "Look, Theoden, Aragorn has zero intention of marrying your daughter. He is already betrothed."

Strange are the hair of the Maiar.
 

Gandalf: Here, watch. If I twitch my nose my beard dances like a monkey.

Théoden weighs the odds of the wizard's survival as the Slug of Doom crawls up Gandalf's cloak.

Gandalf *thinking*: I don't have the heart to tell Théoden that his hair is terrible!

Théoden *thinking*: I don't have the heart to tell Gandalf that his hair is terrible!

OR

Gandalf: Did you put the cat out?

Théoden: No, why?

Gandalf: He's on fire.

*Groan*

Theoden: "Gandalf, could you please put your cloak back on? I know you're wearing an undergarmet, but it's not any less disconcorting."

OR

Gandalf: "I told you to go to the barber in Rivendel."
Theoden: "That doesn't explain how your beard stays so pointy."

OR

Theoden: "I just don't know about this. This chair looks an awefully lot like a target to me."
Gandalf: "Oh, nonsense! I think you being king is making you paranoid."

OR

PJ has a not so brilliant idea.
PJ: "And when I saw them sitting together, I was like 'Twins!'. So I decided to write them into the script as twins."

Theoden is still traumatized by Gandalf the Grey uncloaked that happened right in front of him 2 days ago.

Gandalf: Theoden....Theoden, Saruman's army is outside your door...

Surveying muster of Rohan, Theoden was shocked to learn 'all the king's horses and all the king's men' consisted of two wooden horses and an old man...

GANDALF: Fear Sauron's new guise, Theoden King...

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...4e/Annatar.jpg

The Dark...er...Light...Lord...er...Lady...er...

So this is how Gandalf looks uncloaked?

OR

Sauron to the witch king: Look! A little makeup, new haircut and new clothes. Now tell me Legolas is the most beautiful!

OR

Sam had never been any good at technical stuff. So whan he finally met an elf, the sun ruined the photo.

How many Maiar does it take to screw in a light bulb? More than one evidently.

OR

Annatar: Tom Bombadill! I am your father!

Either Rosie had undergone severe changes or Sam had simply drunk to much...again.

Gandalf the Grey's graduation picture...Class of 18 F.A.
"Voted most likely to travel long distances"

Sauron's transformation after the Nazgul had signed him up for 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy' was quite impressive.

By some strange Be careful what you wish for... twist of fate, Sauron and Galadriel married and had a daughter.

Batman Begins/Lord of the Rings
 

How Sauron really dealt with his prisoners...

Sauron: "I want to show you my mask. I use it on all my "patients," though you may not find it frightening...*puts on mask* THERE'S NOTHING TO FEAR, BUT FEAR ITSELF!"

Sauron stared daily at the life-size poster of himself, wishing he hadn't traded in his white outfit for his black one. People had liked him until then...

Gil-Galad: Timeo Danaos et dona ferentes...
Elrond: What?
Gil-Galad: Um, right, wrong epic. I mean, I don't trust that Annatar guy at all

can't see
 

Damn I can't see the pics I don't know why I could before but now I can't strange huh :rolleyes: oh well

What's this? Has Lalwende ascended to "Dwells in the Spirit World"? :eek:

Sauron: "Aragorn, I am your Grandmother in-law!"

Ground control to Sauron
Ground control to Sauron:
Take your protein pills and put your spiky helmet on
Ground control to Sauron:
Commencing countdown engine's on
Check ignition and may Morgoth be with you

This is ground control to Sauron, you've really made the grade!
And the papers want to know whose skirts you wear,
Now it's time to leave the Black Gate if you dare.

This is Sauron to ground control, I'm stepping through the door
And I'm floating in the most peculiar way
And I look very different today

For here am I floating in evening wear, far above the world
MIddle Earth is blue and there's nothing I can do

Though I'm past one hundred thousand miles, I'm feeling very still
And I think my army knows which way to go,
Tell Morgoth I love him very much he knows.

Ground control to Sauron:
Your circuit's dead, there's something wong.
Can you hear me Sauron?
Can you hear me Sauron?
Can you hear me Sauron? Can you…

Here am I floating round my land, far above Mount Doom
Middle Earth is blue and there's nothing I can do


(With profound and deepest apologies to the King of Glam, His Highness and Majesty of Glitz, Sir David Bowie.)

Nobody knew there were light-sockets in ME until this guy put his finger in one.

OR

Sauron decides to create a new terror: Elves cross-bred with electric eels!

OR

Legolas... as he sees himslef.

OR

Elf: "Take the next right it says... Rivendel is right there it says... Tgh! It didn't say I'd be going through a toxic waste drainpipe to get in! I hate MapQuest!"

Finally I get why he's called Gil-Galad...

Or

Frodo: SAM! That phial Galadriel gave me was NOT something you should drink!

So kids, if you take drugs this is what you'll become! :eek:

OR

Sauron forgot about the electric fence.

The Matrix . . . sort of. (And notice the vaguely blue hair.)
 

Saruman is desperate to reclaim the title 'the White'.

Frodo suddenly notices a smudge on Galadriel's phial. Wanting to keep the present extra spotless, he immediately sat down to polish the mark away. But, as soon as he rubbed the phial...

*poof!, flash, smoke, swirly*
Shiny man: "Who summons me! Who rubbed the Phial!"
Frodo: "I... I did! Who are you?"
Shiny man: "I am the Genie of Galadriel's Phial. I am here to grant you wishes three. Name the most outrageous desires of your heart."
Frodo: http://www.corsaclub.de/smilies/23.gif
Genie: "But no killing anyone."
Frodo: :( *thinks* http://www.corsaclub.de/smilies/23.gif
Genie: "I can't make someone fall in love."
Frodo: :( *thinks* http://www.corsaclub.de/smilies/23.gif
Genie: "And no wishing for more wishes."
Frodo: :(

Gandalf: No longer am I Gandalf the Grey, but Gandalf the Bright!