Q: Why did Galadriel ever marry Celeborn?

Because Telerin men make the best pretty boy trophy husbands in all Arda. Fact :rolleyes:

Q How do you get Saruman down from the Tower of Orthanc? (One for readers of Terry Pratchett's Jingo! )

Q How do you get Saruman down from the Tower of Orthanc?

A: Stab him in the back during an angry parle.

Q: Why did Tolkien never finish The Lost Road?

Q: Why did Tolkien never finish The Lost Road?

A: Because after getting Lost on the Road he never found his way back. :rolleyes:

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Q: Why did Frodo leave Middle-earth?

Q: Why did Frodo leave Middle-earth?

A: Because he had a gig waiting for him in the Lonely Isle.

Q: Why does the Ring make people invisible?

A: It actually makes people's clothes go invisible, but because the body is touching the clothes, that goes invisible also.

Q: Why is the Witch-King so called?

A: Because he hanged with the wrong crowd during Grade School just to be cool


Q: While were the Easterlings evil?

I assume you mean "Why..." instead of "While..."

A: Because nobody changed their diapers when they were young.


Q: Why did the Balrog attack the Fellowship in Moria?

Q: Why did the Balrog attack the Fellowship in Moria?
A: Because Gandalf once left him alone in a diner to pay the bill.

Q: How come Tom Bombadil didn't take the Ring from Frodo?

Q: Why didn't Tom Bombadil take the Ring from Frodo?

A: Because, unlike anyone else in ME he had a better looking piece of clothing, that blue cloak! (Oh the silky softness, <sighs happily>)

Q: How come Galadriel's a blonde and Arwen's got black hair?

A: Because Galadriel had an affair.


Q: Why did Thingol stay behind instead of going off to Valinor?

A: Because he lost his way and didn't want to ask for the right direction.


Q: Why did Fëanor burn the ships at Losgar?

Q: Why did Fëanor burn the ships at Losgar?

A: Because he was a pyromaniac.

Q: How did Hobbits come to be?

A: All the short Men of the Race of Men got shunned, so they moved out and founded the Shire.


Q: Why did Beleg search for Turin?

Q: Why did Beleg search for Turin?

A: They were playing hide and seek.


Q: Why did Bilbo take the Arkenstone?

Q: Why did Bilbo take the Arkenstone?

A: Because he was a burglar, of course.

Q: Why is Elrond so cranky?

A: How would you like it if your family is almost gone and your only daughter wants to marry an estranged Cousin?

Q: Why did Sauron have to make a Ring? why not a Fruit Basket of Death? or a PhoneBook of Inniment doom?

Q: Why did Sauron have to make a Ring? Why not a Fruit Basket of Death? Or a PhoneBook of Imminent doom?

A: The Ring of Doom has a nice ring to it.

Q: Where is the House of Eorl?

Q: Where is the House of Eorl?

A: Right next to MarkDonalds on Hammerhand Street.

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Q: How did Boromir get his super sword-fighting skills?

A: He trained on Faramir when they both were children. That's why the latter grew-up pacifist...

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Q: Is Earendil provided with a parachute?

A: Earendil does have a parachute, as a matter of fact. However, he is also barefoot since the reason for the parachute is that Aule misheard his request for a pair of shoes.

~*~

Q: Why is Bagshot Row named Bagshot Row?

A: During the early days of the Shire, two old friends Bag and Row were walking around that area, when a robber jumped out and grabbed Row, Bag quickly used his Hobbit Power and grabbed a rock. Row,being light-minded due to the robber kind of choking him, yelled out "shoot me, you have too". Bag then decided to follow his friends advice and he through, and it hit Row right between the eyes, killing him instantly. the robber ran off and the place was known as Bagshot Row. The End.

Q: Why was the last Alliance formed?

A: To beat the First Alliance.


Q: Why did Feanor create the Silmarils?

Q: Why did Feanor create the Silmarils?

A: Because people respect a man who wears glowing jewels.

Q: Why is Pippin so stupid?

IF SpM finds this, note I do not have anything to do with this question or the answer that is about to be given.

With that out of the way...

A: After being born Pippin was adopted by the Troll Kurt (the son of Bert)...what you didn't know that?

Q: Why did Haldir not die?

Q: Why did Haldir not die?

A: Because he patched up all his wounds with duct tape. (It really CAN fix anything!)

Q: Who and what is Tom Bombadil, exactly? ;)

Q: Who and what is Tom Bombadil, exactly?

A: An irritating sub-vogon poet with appalling dress sense who got lost in the Old Forest on the way to the Glastonbury festival.

Q: Why were Alatar and Pallando blue?

Q: Why were Alatar and Pallando blue?

A: Why, anybody would have turned blue if they were sent to such a back of beyond, when their peers were having a ball in civilized places like Gil-Galad's court must have been!

---

Q: Why do wizards keep long beards?

A: The same reason others keep stamps.

Q: Why did Gollum want a riddle game?

Because he didn't know how to play Bilbo's offered game...scrabble.

Q: Why was Aragorn raised by Elves?

Q: Why was Aragorn raised by Elves?

A: Because only they had the expertise necessary for keeping him clean.

Q: Why did Ar-Pharazon's misdeeds cause all of Numenor to sink?

A: Because one of them was pulling the plug which caused the flood...

Q: Why is Pippin a 'fool of a Took'?

Q: Why is Pippin a 'fool of a Took'?

A: He isn't, this is a case of mistaken hearing. Pippin is in fact a cannibal, and ate a member of the Took family, thereby being full of a Took.


Q: How long is Gandalf's staff?

Q: How long is Gandalf's staff?

A: Not long enough! Therefor it cannot reach the ground. . .

Q: Why does the Nazgul wear black?

A: Because Pick clashes to much with their skin tone.


Q: Why is Radagaast called the Brown??

A: He used to be Radagast the White, but fell into a muddy creek and couldn't get the stain out of his robes.

Q: Why does the Enchanted Stream in Mirkwood make people fall asleep?

Dr. Farael says...
 

It's not actually the stream itself, but so it happens that the river is a gathering point for Tse-Tse flies... which are known vectors of the Sleeping Sickness.

Q: Howcome the dwarves are known for being polite and yet when they are at Bilbo's house doing the dishes they sing a song about breaking all of them?

Q: How come the dwarves are known for being polite and yet when they are at Bilbo's house doing the dishes they sing a song about breaking all of them?

A: Because Dwarves don't like burglars.

Q: Why was Thorin Oakenshield always so long-winded?

Q: Why was Thorin Oakenshield always so long-winded?

A: Because if he were short-winded he'd never win any arguments.

Q: Why did Beorn change into a bear and not a fluffy bunny?

A: Because Goblins eat Bunnies at a great rate and that would ruin the story

Q: Why did Tolkien write the Hobbit?

A: Because writing The Unicorn or The Giant Slug just wouldn't work.

Q: Why didn't Tolkien draw anything to the east of Mordor and the Sea of Rhun?