Another suggestion
 

650. Tell Feanor that he's a bad role model for his sons, due to his obsession with making 'bling'.

Another one
 

651. Tell Morgoth that he's such a pathetic escaped thrall that the Valar's reward for his return is only one silver penny.

652. Slap Morgoth.
653. Slap Sauron.
654. Slap Manwe.
655. Slap Saruman.
656. Slap Gandalf.
657. Slap Aragorn.
658. Slap Legolas.
659. Slap Sam.
660. Slap anyone except yourself.

661. Jump off a cliff.

662. Try to stab Morgoth like Fingolfin did.
663. Try to eat Morgoth.
664. Try to hug Morgoth.
665. Try to kiss Morgoth.
665b. Just joking-
666. Try to be Morgoth (Mwah ha ha hah!:p)
667. Try to live as long as Morgoth.
668. Try to live near Morgoth.
669. Make this many ways to die which include Morgoth.

Just two words;

Balrog sandwich.

671. Try to kill Boromir (in the movies)
672. Try to kill a hobbit
673. Try to eat a hobbit (yes, I'm looking at you, alatar)

Not sure why this made the list, as, as long as you cook them thoroughly, there shouldn't be a problem.

674. Try to fit horse-shoes to a Balrog...
675. Try to fit wings to a Balrog. ;)
676. Walk around Gondor in an Orc costume shouting 'Ellesar is a rubbish king!'

EDIT: Hey, you posted before me and messed up my numbering! :P

677. Ask Sauron to "lend" you the Ring.
678. Try to destroy the Ring with dragon-fire.
679. Go on a journalistic adventure to determine, once and for all, if Balrogs have wings.
680. Journey to the Icebay of Forochel and forget matches and a good jacket.
681. Be stranded on Tol Morwen during the Great Flood.
682. Be anywhere else west of the Ered Luin during the Great Flood.
683. Sail to the edge of the world before the end of the Second Age.
684. Try to assail Aman.
685. Try to find Aman.

I thought that they were poisonous in large amounts. *shrugs*

686. Run around in yellow boots shouting nonsense like "hey doll, merry doll, ring a dong dillo!" until Peter Jackson makes a movie, at which point you will no longer exist.

Back to basics...
 

687. Eat Orc food
688. Drink Orc drinks
689. Eat Orc
690. Drink Orc
691. Try to liquidise an Orc!

692. Triple post on this thread

693. trampled by a Balrog riding a Dragon. :eek:

694. See a Balrog riding a dragon

695. Attempt to get a piggy-back ride from a Balrog riding a Dragon in some nightmarish form of Jenga.

696. Be within 300 miles of the above scene.

as long as you don't argue for too long about how to cook them. :)

697. be a troll who argues for too long and lets the sun's rays reach him...