... in his grandmother's face...

... and then declared...

..You're next Preciousss.

"In the Shire there lived a curious hobbit called Esmerelda of Bucklebury. Hobbits for miles loved to eat the brand new purple mushroom casserole Which she made with a dark green substance she grew in the secret cellar under the smelly cowshed. Sometimes, she even made four large trolls eat the plums that were old and moldy and covered in a fluffy multicoloured mashed mouse mousse. But Uncle Bilbo knew something shocking about the secret which was that it also contained some 'special' meat.

Therefore, she decided to make a soylent green roast which smelled like a putrid, oozing duck, that was served at Rivendell thirtythree years ago, as Gollum ate something else entirely." Smeagol ate Deagol and then he burped very loudly
in his grandmother's face and then declared "You're next Preciouss".

...When Esmeralda heard...

"this unfortunate bit"

....of bad news...

...she decided to...

...ask Bilbo to...

...give her advice...

....... on Insurance Claims........

..for poisoning customers.

"In the Shire there lived a curious hobbit called Esmerelda of Bucklebury. Hobbits for miles loved to eat the brand new purple mushroom casserole Which she made with a dark green substance she grew in the secret cellar under the smelly cowshed. Sometimes, she even made four large trolls eat the plums that were old and moldy and covered in a fluffy multicoloured mashed mouse mousse. But Uncle Bilbo knew something shocking about the secret which was that it also contained some 'special' meat.

Therefore, she decided to make a soylent green roast which smelled like a putrid, oozing duck, that was served at Rivendell thirtythree years ago, as Gollum ate something else entirely." Smeagol ate Deagol and then he burped very loudly
in his grandmother's face and then declared "You're next Preciouss".

When Esmeralda heard the unfortunate bit of bad news she decided to ask Bilbo to give her advice on Insurance Claims for poisoning customers.

...But the Precious...

...decided that it...

was best to

...go to Bagend...

...and claim for...

...itself Esmeralda's delicious...

.......mouldy, smelly pie.....

...which happened to...

...be Uncle Bilbo's...

...secret secret which...

....everyone knew about.

"so it apparently"

"In the Shire there lived a curious hobbit called Esmerelda of Bucklebury. Hobbits for miles loved to eat the brand new purple mushroom casserole Which she made with a dark green substance she grew in the secret cellar under the smelly cowshed. Sometimes, she even made four large trolls eat the plums that were old and moldy and covered in a fluffy multicoloured mashed mouse mousse. But Uncle Bilbo knew something shocking about the secret which was that it also contained some 'special' meat.

Therefore, she decided to make a soylent green roast which smelled like a putrid, oozing duck, that was served at Rivendell thirtythree years ago, as Gollum ate something else entirely." Smeagol ate Deagol and then he burped very loudly
in his grandmother's face and then declared "You're next Preciouss".

When Esmeralda heard the unfortunate bit of bad news she decided to ask Bilbo to give her advice on Insurance Claims for poisoning customers.

But the Precious decided that it was best to go to Bagend and claim for itself Esmeralda's delicious pie which happened to be Uncle
Bilbo's secret secret which everyone knew about.
So it apparently...involved Arwen, Legolas...

and an angry...

...mob of scary-looking...

.....zombie hobbit children..

that all planned...

...to dance all...

....over Bilbo's face..

..., which made passers-by...

...drink zombie blood...

"and then go"

...and eat some...

...toasted lembas with...

...unfounded glee. (Someone used an extra words earlier.)



"In the Shire there lived a curious hobbit called Esmerelda of Bucklebury. Hobbits for miles loved to eat the brand new purple mushroom casserole Which she made with a dark green substance she grew in the secret cellar under the smelly cowshed. Sometimes, she even made four large trolls eat the plums that were old and moldy and covered in a fluffy multicoloured mashed mouse mousse. But Uncle Bilbo knew something shocking about the secret which was that it also contained some 'special' meat.

Therefore, she decided to make a soylent green roast which smelled like a putrid, oozing duck, that was served at Rivendell thirtythree years ago, as Gollum ate something else entirely." Smeagol ate Deagol and then he burped very loudly
in his grandmother's face and then declared "You're next Preciouss".

When Esmeralda heard the unfortunate bit of bad news she decided to ask Bilbo to give her advice on Insurance Claims for poisoning customers.

But the Precious decided that it was best to go to Bagend and claim for itself Esmeralda's delicious pie which happened to be Uncle
Bilbo's secret secret which everyone knew about.
So it apparently involved Arwen, Legolas, and a mob of scary-looking zombie hobbit children that all planned to dance all over Bilbo's face, which made passers-by drink zombie blood and then go and eat some lembas with unfounded glee.

Despite all this, ...

...it was clear...

(But surely hyphens count as one word. Or is that stretching it too far?)

... that not even...

...Sauron's bad breath...