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My question: Who is Gollum? |
Gollum is Frodos Uncle.
Q: Who is Aragorn? |
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According to sources, he spent his last days saying that he saw elves and dwarves, and even more strange characters, unheard of, called HOBBITS. Q:What happened to the ring after Isildur cut it from Sauron's hand? [ April 07, 2002: Message edited by: Alcarinque ] |
The ring bounced down the mountainside and rolled into a lembas factory. There it disappeared into one of a vast batch of magically delicious Keel-Gilad Elven Cookies. Rather then waste the whole batch, the elves stamped the boxes "Find the Ring and win a prize!" and sent them throughout Middle Earth.
Sadly, this particular recipe was not a hit with the public, and the Ring languished for thousands of years in "infinite shelf-life" oblivion... 'til one day, a particular hobbitish creature name Smeagol, coming down from a 3-day bender and having a really bad case of the munchies, wandered into a Gladden Field convienence store and grabbed the first thing he saw off the shelf...and the rest is history. ------------------------------------- Question: How did Saruman acquire Orthanc? [ April 07, 2002: Message edited by: Birdland ] |
He bought it on E-bay... he would have liked to buy something classier, like, you know... a castle in Trannsylvania, but...Orthanc was fine, and the only thing available for $300.00
Q: What does ISTARI mean? |
ISTARI is like starry, but when talking about personality, so Gandalf's personality is starry, meaning small, white and hot. When lots of istari get together, their meeting is known as a GALAXI.
What happened on Weathertop? |
At WetherTop Frodo was just eatung dinner when a giant bug on a black ladybug came and tried to kill him saying something about some mispriced item on ebay......
My question: Where did Frodo get the ring and where di he have to take it? |
Bilbo got the ring in a cracker and seeing that it was evil gave it to the Sackville-Bagginses. Lobelia was planning to use it to take over the world, so Frodo was sent on a dangerous mission to recover the ring and assassinate Lobelia. when Lobelia found out what was happening, she gave the ring to Frodo who thought it wasn't worht anyhting and took it to the oxfam shop.
Where does Elrond live? |
Elrond lives in a virtual world dominated by men in black.
Why is Gandalf wearing a pointed hat and Sauron doesn't have one? |
Gandalf has a problem distinguishing between up and down. Therefore he has a hat that points upwards so that he is never confused. Saruman does not have this affliction.
Where did Bilbo get his name? |
Bilbo is the combination of William (Bill) and Bottom... those were his long dead brother and sister. His parents wanted to remember them and so they gave Bilbo the name...
Q:Who is the most faithful servant of Saruman? |
Bill Gates is clearly a close companion of Saruman, for reasons I will doubtless be sued for going into...
Why is Sauron so grumpy? |
Sauron is so grumpy because of hat envy!
He doesn't have that hat afflicion thngy that Gandalf has, and the only way he'd get a hat is to get the direction dissilisionment affliction, only he doesn't want to get it. So he's frustrated. It's his problem. Why do elves grow their hair long? And what happens if they cut it short? [ April 08, 2002: Message edited by: Neferchoirwen ] |
Elves have long hair, because otherwise they would look ugly... (j/k)
Elves have long hair, because that's the source of their greatness in archery. The long hair makes them see more precisely, and if they cut their hair, they will end up blind, at least while it grows back. A short haired elf is usually short-sighted as well. Q: What are the Nazgul? |
The Nazgul are members of a cult who dress all in black and are forbidden by their religion from walking anywhere. They wander round Middle Earth door to door asking if nayone would like to convert to their religion.
What is special about the inhabitants of Bree? |
The people in Bree are special because they are all drunk. All they do is drink beer and throw apples at bad men. Some dont even rember there daughter's name there so drunk!!!
Who is Ganadalf and why dpes he have a pointy stick? |
Gandalf is actually an Avon salesperson. The 'staff' is merely an oversize Middle-Earth mobile phone. This explains his frequent trips to Hobbiton, bringing his wares...
Q: Why did the Balrog cross the road? |
In the version I heard, the balrog crossed the bridge of Khazad-Dum!
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Q: Who is Tom Bombadill? [ April 09, 2002: Message edited by: Alcarinque ] [ April 09, 2002: Message edited by: Alcarinque ] |
Tom Bobilldo is a maker of M-E hot dogs!!!! Bombildo is the next wave of hot dogs!!!!
Ummm this is tricky.... Who isnt(keyword) Treebeard? |
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What is Pippin's full name? |
Scotty Pippen [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img]
Question : What goes on at Isengard ? Know Peace [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] |
Orc IVF! (see "far from the orc I love", not for those of a squeamish disposition)
What happened to the hobbits on the Barrowdowns? |
At the Barrow-Downs the Hobbits saw all the LOTR action figures get prices cut down!!!! Then a rush of drunk fans wanted autographs.
What is the big deal about the Elven Rings? Who bears them and for what purpose? |
The Elven Rings were a misspelling in an other wise respectable broadsheet Englsih newspaper. What was intended was the Eleven Rings and they were given to the members of the victorious England cricket team (I am aware of the oxymoron implicit thereof).
Is Eru by definition erudite? [ April 10, 2002: Message edited by: Stephanos ] |
(Which newspaper Stephanos?)
No, Eru is really a music teacher and poor composer who knows nothing about anything, especially not music! His music was so bad that the ainur rebelled and sang Melkor's much better composition. What happened when the hobbits returned to the shire after the war of the ring? [ April 10, 2002: Message edited by: Nevtalathiel ] |
(Nev - The Independent shall remain nameless...doh.)
When the hobbits returned to the Shire, Frodo realised that he had left one of his favourite pieces of jewellery behind and so had to back-track somewhat. Are the Black Riders 'brothers'? [ April 10, 2002: Message edited by: Stephanos ] |
(Steph, [Do you mind me calling you Steph] Was it them who at the first Christmas had a correction; "The headline which read 'Three Wide Men, what Rich Gifts' should have read 'Three Wise Men, what Rich Gits")
The ringwraiths were brothers, they were the cousins of Sleepy, Dopey, Grumpy, Happy, Bashful, Doc, Sneezy, Oin and Gloin. Their parents stole ent-draught to make their sons grow taller. Unfortantely, it also made them evil and invisible! Who was Sam? |
(Nev - lmao! I think it probably was... Steph is perfectly acceptable.)
"Sam" was the unexpected entry in "The World's Shortest Poems That Feature Proper Names" for 1989. It came seventh. It is worth noting the controversy that year however. The winner was actually a poem by the little known Botswanian poet Eric van bon can ban Bottomsworthy with his entry "If I Give You a Tenner Will You Let Me Win?" The poem contravened most of the rules of the competition yet was an overwhelming victor. The drama continues... Q: If you took the wings of seven Balrogs and divided them by the number of Entwives, what colour is Legolas' hair? |
Do you mean african balrogs of asian balrogs? How old are the entwives and how many ents are they each married to? Does it matter (i.e. if one entwife is married to two ents, does it cout as two entwives?) How much hair does Legolas have and how long is it? Does thes question in any way constitute a test,the mark of which will affect the rest of my life? Is it an open book test? Can I have some time to revise?
Ok, I'm revising for GSCEs at the moment, so I'm getting kind of paranoid since my revision so far has consisted of visiting the Barrowdowns and watcvhing TV! Back to the point though, if the number of balrog wings is greater than the number of entwives, the colour of Legolas's ahir is equal to the sum of the number of surviving Istari and the smell of Sauron's feet. If however, the number of balrog wings is less than the number of entwives, Legolas's hair colour can be calculated using the number visions of Galadreil's mirror minus the age of Elrond. If the number of balrog wings equals the number of entwives, Legolas's hair could either be stripy or dotted, but the colour is impossible to determine. *Phew* Who is the ruler of the people of Rohan? |
My daddy!
Where is Tom Bombadil from? |
Tom Bombadil was found in a cupboard by Frodo when he was clearing out Bag End after Bilbo left. It appears that Bilbo left an egg sandwich in the cupboard with his magical ring for a rather long time. The lifeforms that evolved inside this cupboard included entwives (which Frodo accidentally trod on) oliphaunts (which when released into the wild grew to enormous sizes because their food supply was no longer limited) and Tom Bombadil.
Who was the creator of the one ring? |
A very short-lived ring maker.
What is your favourite colour? |
The answer to the greatest question of all life and exsistance: 42
And that, I'm going to say, is my favourite colour. |
Otay, how old is Aragorn? (as a non-wrong answer, this kind of thing would surprise you)
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[boring scientist voice]Well, this question were brought up way back in the bigining when Eru was trying to make the incompetent Ainur making at least one singel sound that didn't gave him headaches. Then, that very moment I remember well, Aragorn sneak up behind Eru and said 'Boo!'. This didn't just get the efect that Eru had to change trouses, but also the famous word:'What the CENSUR are you doing your little, little ... little, Dunadein. I want you all to notice that that word was at first a insult, and it sounds like something you find under a rock with very many or no legs, yes? However Aragorn thought that Eru was very unfriendly and dissapeard eith 'pop!'. But the effect was also that all of the Ainur laught at Eru and Melkor made a not-so-nice song about the event, of course that was erased in the official version.
Later on Sauron made a ring that, if it were placed on the exactly rihgt place, at the exactly right time, would reveal the the answer. But Aragorn was able to fool many people, Gandlf, Elrond, Bilbo, Denethor, Galadriel and Gimli are only few of them. But now, Manwe inc. (R), proudly presents the answer. The fact is that Aragorn, when he first stepped in to the univers, decided to be 2,54 +- 0,00033148 years. Which isn't a very good age for a king. No one should be able to see him in the eyes, yes, but not because the was frightned, but because they were laughting their heads of. He also signed the no-aging-contract, so he's still about 2,5 years.[/boring scientist voice] And now we need YOUR help on the next mysterium: What is Lembas? (did you know that Arwen is Aragorns grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-cousin, or something like that, it's not a joke) |
Lembas is a rare breed of mountain goat found high in the mountains of New Zealand, they were accidently discovered by the fellowship on their journey to Mordor. If you were to believe Legolas and Gimli, lembas are quite a delicacy.
--------------- Why did Sauron make 20 rings and then give 19 of them away? Know Peace ! [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] |
Sauron was not a very good ring-maker. The first 19 rings were trial ones while he perfected his art. The first 3 were made of the wrong stuff, which burned away people's fingers when they put them one. The next 5 were slighty large, so he gave them away as necklaces. He learned his lesson after that and consequently made the next 2 far too small and had to give them to a couple of ants who happened to be passing by. The next one he acidentally trod on while it was hot, so it was a bit of a funny shape. By this time it was nearly Christmas, and being of a stingy disposition, Sauron decided to make presents instead of buying them. so, that year, his mum, dad, grandma, grandpa, aunt, 2 cousins, sister and wife all got cheap poor quality rings for Christmas. By now Sauron was tired of making rings, but still needed one for himself, so he just used the next one he made, despite the fact that it had the annoying habit of changing size!
Wat happened to Denethor 2? |
Denethor 2 was blown up like Denethor 1. When the first robot dies they made another one that didnt work as well.
What is an elf? |
An elf is a short hairy creature that makes toys and feeds reindeer. other times it might make shoes for poor shoe makers and do other stuff...
yeah other that that they might kill Santa clause while they're at it.... What is an Oliphaut... really heh heh heh [ April 11, 2002: Message edited by: Lindolirian ] |
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