okay back after dinner!
where's my donuts said by anyone any time!though it is probably best out loud!
and aragorn on the bridge
*I wonder if the waters cold and deep? how far would i get if i pushed her in and ran!!

Aragorn: Gee...I wonder where Legolas gets his hair done? Maybe he can arrange an appointment for me...

Billy, the outcast Elf that's just at the Council: Bah! What's that stupid prince got that I haven't got?

LMAO I am loving these!!! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] I wish I could think of some good ones...hmmm


Aragorn: "Let's hunt some Orc."

Gimli (glancing at Legolas): "Isn't that off-season? I thought this was Ranger-hunting season...wait...it is!!!"

Legolas (glancing at Gimli): "Hmm...isn't this Ranger-hunting season?!!"

Gimli: GAARRR!!! LET'S HUNT SOME RANGER! Can't forget to take him to the taxidermist though...

Legolas (looking at Gimli and grinning): *hisses like Hannibal*

Legolas and Gimli (running after Aragorn): DUN DA DUN DUN DUN DA DUN...the hunt is on!


OK, totally lame, but my mind is mush this eve... [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

Hey! That was funny! *Laughs hard*

Aragorn: *Watching Frodo dance on the table at the Prancing Pony* "He's the man alli en la disco, | Playing sexy feeling hotter, | He's the king bailando et ritmo ragatanga, | And the dj that he knows well, | On the spot always around twelve, | Plays the mix that diego mezcla con la salsa, | Y la baila and he dances y la canta..."

(Lyrics courtesy of "Aserejé" by Las Ketchup)

That's all I have for now...

LOL [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

LOL [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] You know, I can actually see Aragorn thinking that...hehehehehehe


OK and every time I look at this one, I die I laugh so freaking hard:

As Frodo is paddling off in the boat
Sam [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img]Thinking)Oh damn, I really need the loo. I know(Speaking)Of course you are and I'm coming with you, etc...(thinking) Haha, I am a genious. He thinks I actually care, really duty calls and I don't want to answer it in public

Omigosh, untasteful and I just made a mockery of, like, the saddest scene. Hum, I am a BAD person.

Frodo looks down at the ring: *Hmmm. I wonder if I could exchange this for a silver ring. Silver would look much nicer with what I'm wearing.*

At the Breaking of the Fellowship.

Boromir: Now I see your mind! You will take the ring to Sauron! You will betray us!

Frodo: *Drat! How did he know?*

Of course, what Frodo was really thinking as he left the Fellowship was:

"If I can only get away without them noticing I can be half-way to Umbar before they even know where to look."

Anyone from the fellowship just about anywhere in the wild: No bathroom? I have to use a bush and some LEAVES?! What have I gotten myself into. . .

Gimli: Does this axe make my butt sag?

Sauron: Obviously I'll have to put the Morgoths in the Blue Room, because they never could abide the whole gothic theme I've got going here. Then that nice Mr. and Mrs. Balrog in the Salon of Eternal Suffering, because it has such a beautiful view of the Sea of Núrnen. Oh, and Saruman can always be a problem, what with his dyspepsia, so I'll have to warn the cook to steer clear of anything too rich...

[ October 20, 2002: Message edited by: Squatter of Amon Rudh ]

lol, this is a good topic, ok right

Balrog (as chasing the fellowship): Gandalf! Long time no see! Give us a hug.

Merry (as being captured by nasty things): I'm gonna have to spend the rest of my life with Pippin? NOOOOOOO!

ok, that second one was odd [img]smilies/confused.gif[/img]

Elrond: This council business is really boring. Why can't some bally idiot hurry up and volunteer to get rid of the ruddy thing so that we can go and get a spot of lunch?

Gandalf: Don't worry: I've pumped young Baggins' head so full of nonsense that he'll take on any insanely suicidal mission. I hope we're having blackberry crumble again.

Elrond: I didn't know you were telepathic.

Gandalf: Neither did I.

--------------------------------------------

Goldberry: Why does he always insist on bringing home every vagrant he finds? Now we'll have to cook for six instead of ordering a pizza. Mmmmm pepperoni.

--------------------------------------------

Gimli (at Helm's Deep): If that Elf gets too far ahead of me he'll be among the glorious dead tomorrow.

Legolas: If that Dwarf gets too far ahead of me he'll become the recipient of a stray arrow, or I'm no archer.

[ October 21, 2002: Message edited by: Squatter of Amon Rudh ]

Ha ha ha! I liked that last one! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Okay, I'm intelligent, I can do this . . .

Sam: "Let 'im go, or we'll have you longshanks!" *Oh shoot! He's a lot bigger than I thought he was!*

Merry *Shut up Sam!*

Pippin *What's going on?*

Sauron, seconds before the One Ring hits the lava at the bottom of the Cracks of Doom, thus destroying him forever and condemning him to somenameless, terrible fate:
"Damn!"
Aragorn, throughout the series: "I brought my spare tunic and bedroll. I remembered to bring the map of Middle-Earth. I've got two knifes, one for skinning rabbits and one for fighting. Now, why the heck couldn't I remember my damn RAZOR?!?!"
Gimli: "Why won't that jerk Legolas let me borrow his comb? I wash my head. It's not like I'm dirty. It's just because I'm different, that's all. I want to be loved and adored, but just because I was born different, he dosen't care if my hair is raggedy. I hate that guy! <sob>"
Frodo, petrified with terror at the evil power of the One Ring, and unable to speak: "Oh, crap! It's the Evil Mutant Killer Ring of Death from Hell!" [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img]

Gandalf: We will take this road across the Misty Mountains...and then into Mordor.

Pippin: *Wait, Mordor? I thought we were going to Disneyworld! I knew I should have asked where this mission, quest, thing was going!*

Glorfindel: I hate all this rushing around in the dark. I bet I don't get an ounce of credit for it either.

Gandalf (about to face the Balrog): I hate this job.

Shelob: I'm completely sick of live food. Nobody appreciates how difficult it is to cook something properly with this body. Why can't someone open a decent Greek restaurant around here? I'd kill for a nice baklava and some Retsina.

(In the movie) The Wraith who says "Give up the halfling, She-Elf": HE-llo, baby! Boy is that Elf hot!

Legolas: Mud! I want mud! To roll in and get all over my clothes! And jello...lots of jello-ey goodness to roll in...I hate cleanliness! It's all Daddy's doing! Why does he have to be such a neat-freak? I want dirt! Lots of dirt! And nice, dark mines!

Legolas: Hmmm...if I do this well, maybe I will have lots of teen-age girls all over the world drooling on me and the non-Elfy in real life actor who plays me! I will be immortalized in a sea of drool! Oh, lucky me!

Merry (while captured by the Orcs): GAH! Did I forget to set the VCR? I might be missing "F*R*I*E*N*D*S" again, dammit! Oh well, Rosie always tapes it...I'll steal her tape...

Aragorn: If by my life or death, I can protect you, I will.
Legolas: *hopefully by his death, then Arwen will be mine!!*

Mostly from the movie, sorry.

Aragorn to Arwen: "You cannot give me this!" ("Please, I can't let the other Rangers see me wearing a woman's necklace. I'll never hear the end of it.")

Frodo: "I will take the Ring, although I do not know the way." ("Please, Elrond, stop me. You're not going to let me GO, are you? Come on, step up to the plate here. You know the way, don't you?")

Gandalf: "I will help you bear this burden." ("How LONG I'll help you is another question, of course.")

Saruman: "But you have elected the way - of - PAIN!!!" ("God, you don't know how long I've been practicing this phrase in front of the mirror, do you?")

http://plauder-smilies.de/happy/roflmao.gif http://plauder-smilies.de/happy/roflmao.gif http://plauder-smilies.de/happy/roflmao.gif

Those are all really funny. I haven't been able to think of any for a while, but I've been reading.

Arwen: "If you want him, come and claim him!" *No, really. He smells awful and he's getting my clothes dirty!*

[img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

Gandalf: *says* YOU SHALL NOT...PAAAAAASS! *thinks* Oi vey...oh dammit, what did I get myself into now? My mom always told me "Son, you're a very extroverted Maiar, watch your back," but did I listen to her? Nooooooooo...and here I am, fighting a darn Balrog in the middle of Moria, a big, dark, now abandoned and stinky mine. I say again: Oi...vey...

I thought that this thread deserved to be moved back to the top.

I expect that as he faced Éowyn on the Pelennor Fields, the Witch-King's thoughts were as follows:

Not another blasted Rider of Rohan. And it's a woman. How original. They must really be desperate. Still, finish this one off then I can get back to the city, get rid of that old codger and be back in Minas Morgul with the wife and kids by next week. That'll save me a fortune on babysitters. Besides, those Orcs are so unreliable, always messing up the kitchen and drinking my beer... Ouch!

allright, im not very good at these tings so let me know if they suck:
the cave troll when Legolas first shoots it in the chest:
*Oww!! My booby! I'm supposed to go out with Rick tonight! Now what am i going to do?*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dont be mad at me for using the saddest part of the whole movie!!
When frodo pulls sam into the boat:
Sam: And I dont mean to, i dont mean to.
Frodo: Oh Sam! (they hug)
*Frodo: oh this is great....i wanted to go alone but now i have to have sam with me! Now i cant do half the things i wanted to*
thats not supposed to be gross or anything....so get your head out of the gutter! LOL

(Aragorn kneels to pick the Kingsfoil. A sword comes down and rests against his neck)
Aragorn: Is it a Black Rider?
(Awren starts speaking)
Aragorn: Argh! Worse! My girlfriend!

(gollum talks to ring)
Sam: The Ring can't hear you, Gollum, and if it can it's not going to respond.
Gollum: What does he know, precioussss? Stupid fat hobbit...

Galadriel(speaking): But hope remains, while company is true.
Ring(thinking): Wanna bet?

Ok. Those weren't very good... Oh well.

[ December 30, 2002: Message edited by: My Cat Sasha ]

Wormtongue (in the movie, the shot of Saruman at Isengard just before the one of the Uruk-hai): Remind me again why I'm working for a fat crazy wizard with a James Bond villain complex?!

Éowyn (the scene where Aragorn comes back right at the end): Everyone out there's totally expecting me to snog you right now...

Arwen (looking at Elrond as she leaves Rivendell - this isn't really a thought but it's still quite funny): I could make a hand gesture at you under these sleeves and no-one would even notice...

Legolas (travelling across Rohan): God, that bloody dwarf can't decide whether he's right behind us or miles away!

[ January 03, 2003: Message edited by: Airerûthiel ]

Two words work all the way through, you know...

*Extended version Fellowship of the Ring*

Bilbo: *Loses ring* Oi vey!

Bilbo: *Hears Sackville-Bagginses coming* Oi vey!

Gandalf: *Seeing Bilbo disappear* Oi vey!

Gandalf: *Learns that it might be The One Ring* Oi vey!

Frodo: *Learns about the One Ring* Oi vey!

Sam: *Gets caught behind the hedge* Oi vey!

Frodo and Sam: *Getting bumped into by Merry and Pippin* Oi vey!

Sam: *Holding veggies* Oi vey!

Hobbits: *Getting caught by Black Rider* Oi vey!

Gandalf: *Seeing Saruman's treason* Oi vey!

Eagle: *When Gandalf lands on him* Oi vey!

Frodo: *Sees the fire* Oi vey!

Frodo: *Gets stabbed* Oi vey!

Arwen: *Sees Frodo almost die* Oi vey!

Elrond: *Sees all the fighting at the Council* Oi vey!

Fellowship: *Sees Pippin is going* Oi vey!

Fellowship: *Sees Crebain* Oi vey!

Fellowship: *On Caradhrad* oi vey!

Hobbits: *When Watcher grabs them* Oi vey!

Gimli: *When seeing Balin tomb* Oi vey!

Pippin: *When he pushes the skeleton into the well* Oi vey!

Fellowship: *When attacked* Oi vey!

Fellowship: *When cave troll comes* Oi vey!

Fellowship: *When they think that Frodo's dead* Oi vey!

Gandalf and Legolas: *When they hear the Balrog* Oi vey!

Fellowship: *When they see Gandalf fallen* Oi vey! Oh, and booohooooo!

Aragorn: *When having difficulty with Haldir* Oi vey!

Legolas: *When not listened to* Oi vey!

Frodo: *When Boromir attacks him* Oi vey!

Boromir: *When shot* Oi vey!

Merry and Pippin: *When carried off* Oi vey!

Frodo: *When Sam jumps into the water* Oi vey!

THE END

*The Two Towers*

Frodo: *When going around in circles* Oi vey!

Gollum: *When captured* Oi vey!

Uruk-Hai: *When smelling man-flesh* Oi vey!

Aragorn: *When hearing pace quickened* Oi vey!

Gimli: *When lagging behind* Oi vey!

Pippin: *Just in general at their situation* Oi vey!

Merry and Pippin: *When the trees start speaking* Oi vey!

Merry and Pippin: *Each time almost eaten* Oi vey!

Pippin: *When Treebeard wakes up* Oi vey!

Merry and Pippin: *When they hear "The White Wizard* Oi vey!

Aragorn: *At Gimli and Legolas's readiness to fight* Oi vey!

All 3 travelers: *At seeing Fangorn* Oi vey!

Villagers: *At seeing Uruk coming* Oi vey!

Wormtongue: *At seeing the 4 come to Edoras* Oi vey!

Saruman: *At being cast out of the body* Oi vey!

Theoden: *At seeing his son dead* Oi vey!

Theoden: *At hearing about what's been going on* Oi vey!

Eowyn: *In surprise at seeing Aragorn counter her move* Oi vey!

Legolas and Hama: *At seeing the Warg riders* Oi vey!

Eowyn: *At not being allowed to fight* Oi vey!

Gimli: *At being piled on* Oi vey!

Aragorn: *At being pulled over the cliff* Oi vey!

Legolas and Gimli: *At seeing Aragorn gone and hearing the Orc's tale* Oi vey!

Aragorn: *At seeing the many, many Uruk* Oi vey!

Sam and Frodo: *At seeing the faces in the water* Oi vey!

Gollum: *At seeing Frodo go into the water* Oi vey!

Gollum, Frodo, Sam: *At seeing the Nazgul* Oi vey!

Sam and Frodo: *At seeing the black gates* Oi vey!

Sam: *At Frodo's changes* Oi vey!

Frodo and Sam: *At being caught by Faramir and company* Oi vey!

Frodo: *At seeing Gollum in the water singing* Oi vey!

Gollum: *At being caught* Oi vey!

Frodo: *At seeing Faramir wanting the ring* Oi vey!

Sam: *At seeing Faramir not aiding Frodo* Oi vey!

Legolas, Aragorn, Gimli: *At seeing the inexperience of the troops* Oi vey!

Gimli: *At seeing Legolas and Aragorn argue* oi vey!

All in Helm's Deep: *At seeing all the Uruk coming* Oi vey!

Haldir *sniff sniff sniff*: *At being *cries some more* killed* Oi vey!

Uruk-Hai: *At seeing Gandalf and company coming* Oi vey!

Sam: *At seeing Frodo randomly leave* Oi vey!

Faramir: *At seeing the Nazgul* Oi vey!

Faramir and Sam: *At seeing Frodo go to the Nazgul* Oi vey!

Works in many more situations too...actually: those are just the places where I have said that out loud at some point or another...

LOL [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Boromir when picking up ring on cahadaras [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img]sp)
*If only they had it in silver
or
*Such a small thing can cause so much pain (can't remember exact quote) He's really thinking
"damn them , i saw one just like this in Argos last week.

Arwen: (black rider chase scene) Do you really want this hobbit? Fine come take him! *drops hobbit onto ground* stupid hobbit, thats the last straw! *rides off mumbling* 'Tis the last time I shall ever fondle his tie... (that sounded way wronger than it was ment to be....)


Gandalf: (when Pippin knocks skeleton into well) That's it! I quit! *jumps into well* AHHHHHHHH! *Loud THUD*

Aragorn: (after Frodo offers him the ring) I knew I should have taken the ring! I'm so stupid why didnt I take it?

Arwen: Nin o Chithaeglir, lasto beth daer; Rimmo nin Bruinen dan in Ulaer! Nin o Chithaeglir, lasto beth daer; Rimmo nin bruinen dan in ulaer!!!

What she's really thinking: *in a scared voice* oh crap man, I just had to go usurp Glorfindel, didn't I?

Aragorn:You do not fear them eh?!

Glorfindel:*off set* Sissy, good-for-nothing elf-maiden!

[ June 05, 2003: Message edited by: ElenCala Isil ]

Gandalf, as he stamps his staff on the bridge to destroy it: "Miss the foot, miss the foot, miss the foot."

Haha, Here goes nothing.
The cast is thinking all of this at the same time:

Frodo: C'mon already, blah blah blah, we know this already, let's just get to where Gandalf falls into the chasm, I love it when Gandalf gets hurt.

Legolas: We musn't linger, the donuts will be gone soon.

Sam: I hope no one else is thinking about the donuts.

Gollum: The donuts, they're mine, my own, my preciousss...

Gandalf: I'm curious, can we change it up to where the Hobbits get thrown into the chasm and fight the Balrog? Haha!

Aragorn: Liv Tyler is so hot.

As Galadriel spoke of being a Queen, "beautiful and terrible as the Morning and the Night", I think that she was really thinking: "Besides, that's too much gold for my hand. Do I look like a giant magpie?"

She isn't the only one of the Wise to be serious about fashion either. Take Saruman, for example: as he stood before Gandalf in his new shimmering robes of many colours he was thinking: "He's bound to be so jealous. He hasn't bought a single new outfit since the end of the Second Age." Obviously that's why he was so upset that Gandalf liked white better.

During the conversation between the Orcs in the movie:

"Looks like meat's back on the menu, boys" (thinks: Did I actually just say that? Ugh, I've got to get a new agent)

Random orc thinks in response: "But I'm a vegetarian!"

Another random orc thinks: "Oh man, that guy is sure to stick in my teeth!"

Okay, those were gross. Sorry! In a strange mood!

Can't believe no one's ever thought of this before:

In the mines of Moria
Gandalf: When in doubt Meriadoc, always follow your nose.
Pippin in background: *Fruit Loops?! That reminds me, I'm hungry!*

... Did anyone catch that?

I caught that too.

In Fangorn, right after Gandalf reveals himself to Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli:

Legolas: *with that little smirk on his face that he has after Gandalf says, "I am Gandalf the White* Looking good, Gandy!

When Gandalf first sees Frodo:
*he's got huge feet! I wonder if it's true, what they say about guys with big feet?"

When Legolas first sees the Hobbits:
*Look at those enormous feet. I'd feel threatened if it was true about guys with big feet, but look how small mine are and... well, you know*

When Aragorn first sees the Hobbits:
*I feel a bit threatened at the size of their feet*

When Boromir first sees the Hobbits:
*Those feet! I'm going to have to kidnap one of them and take him back to Gondor to see if the feet thing is true with their race!*

When Arwen first sees the Hobbits:
*Wow! Look at their feet! And I know the rumor about the size of a guy's feet is true because I saw Legolas under the waterfall 500 years ago.*

Okay, went a little overboard there but it was fun!