Legolas: Are you sure your really an elf? even the dwarf could see those orcs coming!
Galadriel:Umm...was that bowl thingie imporatnt?(asked inncoently)well it kind of rolled down the hill and landed in the creek.
Gandalf: Geez your old!
TreeBeard:well you see the thing is i was kind of playing with Gimli's ax and well...(holds up a tree branch)

Merry and Pippin:hey look, are those mushrooms? PSHYCE!
Legolas:Ya know you look like a freak running around in those tights
Sam:Frodo hates you, especially since you forgot the rope!

To Boromir: Come on! It's only a flesh wound. Get up and fight like a man!

My you're looking Sharpe today Boromir. Is that an Arrow shirt you're wearing?

So Gandalf, it's great that Frodo destroyed the ring and all, but what am I going to do with the other six I have just like it at home?

Gimli! That's not face cream, it's NAIR!

Aragorn, you know that old story about how Sauron broke your sword? Ah, well, they're not exactly true. Actually, Gimli tried to shave with it.

To Leggy: Holy cow man, you've got dirt under your fingernail there!
Leggy's response: AIEEEEE!!
To Frodo: Ooh, your eyes are so huge, how many minutes does it take to blink? That's why you're so skinny, right? Because blinking helps you to lose weight?
To Merry: Wow, your nose is the biggest I've ever seen! Like, wow!
To Gandy: Dude, like, chill.
To Celeborn: Hey, can you talk a little faster? I find myself being distracted by that pretty little bug there...
Galadriel's response: A BUG?
To Pippin: Hey, can you help me with my homework?
To Elrond: Don't worry, be happy!
To Leggy: DIE!
Fool of an elf! Fool of a dwarf! Fool of a man! Fool of a fool! Fool of a wizard, oh wait, that's me.

Funny, maybe. Wierd, yes.

"How's it hangin', Maedhros?" LOL! I'm literally tearing up. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

like the last one
fool of a whatever blah blah blah

how come all u scums are all picking on legolas??
y o y? pick in sauroman and those gits not pretty hoy her
alrite!!!

To sam-"Frodo is a fool."

wassup, I think you've scored a perfect 26 out of 26 inane posts. Your privileges have been revoked.

To Gimli: "Watch out, shorty!"
"It takes quite a big leap to get
to the other side. Maybe I should
toss you?"
To Ringwraith (after "Sssshhire? Bagginsssshhh?" -part): "Pardon? Could you
repeat that, please?"
To Legolas: "Oh, don't you just love the
seaside? I can almost here the
seamews' screams..."

Gollum: Gollum, let it go. The precious is crud. It's sort of stupid, if you think about it.

Eru: Don't you just hate music?

Legolas: Bad news, Legs. Haldir's the new you.

Grima: Can you not grow eyebrows? I've always wondered...

Glorfindel: Hey, d'you wanna here a dumb blonde joke I just heard?

Galadriel: Um... about the stain on your mirror... well my parrot really likes birdbaths and...

Haradrim and Mumakil: Hey, look, carnies!

Treebeard: Look at this great table! I just ordered it from JC Penny's, solid wood and everything!

Not too hilarious, but passable.
[img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

Lurtz honey your eyes look a mite bloodshot (sympathetic voice) another night on the tiles eh? why don't you go home and get some sleep?

Ok, Frodo, thanks for the number, I'll give you a ring some...time...oops

Arwen, Aragorn is going to die. Deal with it.

Eowyn, Theodred is dead. Get over it.

Eomer, go get yourself some lips.

Frodo, you look a total ponce in that mithril.

Just face it Aragorn, Legolas is soooo
much better looking than you.

How's the plastic surgery going Haldir?

Three words Gimli. Cut. Your. Hair.

Boromir, did anyone ever tell you that shield is actually a dinner plate?

Well actually Legolas, I set your hair on fire. Muahahaha!

Oh go play with your barbie Eowyn.

Rosie, I hope you know that Sam is in love with Frodo.

Gandalf, did I mention that the entire year's crop of pipeweed has been obliterated? Never mind old chap...

Urgh, Elrond! Did you fart?

Hey Celeborn. Any reason why you're wearing a dress?

Or

Hey Celeborn, didn't know you were a cross dresser.

Gollum, did I mention I'm an Elf?

Gandalf, I stole your hat and lost it somewhere in Moria. I just thought I'd let you know.

hey legolas, your aim sucks! why not look slightly less gay by getting a haircut?

Hey, Denethor, I'd like you to meet the Minas Tirith counsellor.

Here, Denethor, have a box of matches!

To Haldir: Ha! You're gonna die!!

Hey, Aragorn, you do know you're not the real Isildur's Heir, right?

Hey, Grima, you got a tweezer obsession or what?

hahahahahahaha man you guys really crack me up.

Greetings,

Anuion
________
Mxr-01

Hey Denethor! What's cooking?

Boromir, can you play "76 Trombones"?

Pippin, what kind of mushrooms are those?

To Shelob: Hey! Look what I found on the bottom of my shoe! (Shows a smushed spider)

He! He! How are those?

I can't think of a funny one with this right now, but I'd be interested to see what you could come up with up: Gimli's grandpa's name is Groin. Now that's nasty. My humor is always either really twisted, or kindergarden level. I'll give it a try though.
Nazgul (only people who have read the bad Russian translation of LotR, there's two, one's bad, might get this. But then, they probably won't think it's funny.) Seriously, "Sumnicksssss.......Shire...." sounds so crummy. The new thing is Baggins, didn't you hear?
To Butterbur- now, send out this letter for me, but I will be back in a week to personally will be checking that it has been sent.
To Gollum- Oh my god! Fish are so out! Get some lembas...it's the urge....for lembas!
To Rosie- You know, Sam is only using you as a cover for somebody special...

LOL! Funny!

Frodo you pansy! Stop being such a coward and get a life! And stop stroking that ring, you're making me sick!

Hey, Gandalf? Can you do some REAL magic?

Psst...Elrond...I think you mistook Arwen's tiara for your crown.

S'all for now.

Lol! I really like the tiara one.
Wormtongue- Oh my god! I have to tell you! That Eowyn, she is like, sooo ugly! I mean, who dresses like that?! Oh, and she's getting married. Wanna come? [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

[ March 03, 2003: Message edited by: GaladrieloftheOlden ]

[ March 03, 2003: Message edited by: GaladrieloftheOlden ]

(cant do quotes)

"Hey Denethor! Whats cooking?"

*rolls on the floor laughing and doesnt stop for a fortnight*

(to Aragorn) "Eighty, eh? Don't you think you're a bit old for this?"

(to Sauron) "I know where the ring is." (unless you like being tortured)

(to the ring) "Go home!"

Groin, hahahahahaha. I loved the Denethor one as wel. The funniest thing is: Those Leggyboppers don't get it. That makes it even better.

Can't think up any right now.

Greetings,

Anuion
________
The dearborn independent

To Gollum: Ha Ha! Fooled you! The real ring is in my pocket.

To Treebeard: Say, have we run out of firewood?

To Galadriel: WOW! Nice bird bath!

To Legolas: Oh dear. We have run out of tights.

To Legolas:MMMM, nice Lembas bread! Say, do you have any marmite to go with this?

To Aragorn (trying to recover after Boromirs death): We haven't had food for days! Its like im DYING! Ah, my feet are KILLING me! Luckly our path only goes DEAD straight!(sobs of Aragorn).

To Gimli: Oooo, that gap looks long. Looks like we have to toss you over.

To Frodo: Fool! Thats a wedding ring!

To Pippin: Oh dear, Second Breakfast has been banned.

Hey you guys? [to hobbits] you're feet are realllly hairy you know that?

Hey Gandalf, I wonder what would happen if I unplugged this wire coming from your staff!

Legolas, dude, your dropped your travel pack of hair care products somewhere near the caves of Moria, thought ya might wanna kno [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

~Elencala

To Beorn: (imitating Smokey Bear) Only you can prevent forest fires! Eh Beorn!? Eh?

To Gandalf (With the wolves below the Misty Mountains): Oh yeah Gandalf? Look what I can do!(pulls out a small lighter)

To Gollum(mockingly): Ha Ha! What has it got in it's pocketses? Ha Ha! You're so naive!

Not bad, eh?

(to any ringwraith) : ok, you can drop the lisp now!!!

ringwraith: what lisp?

or .....

listen, i know a really really good speech therapist..

Gimli: So...I hear your cousins Grumpy and Doc are in town...

Gollum: I don't have The Ring...But I do!

Gandalf: Well...I see someone listened to me and used Tide!

Cave Troll: Hey...did you by anychance work for Harry Potter at one time?

To Legolas: So, you'll become the king after your father, aye? And what kingdom will you rule?? Legoland???

The water here is pretty polluted, Gollum. You might wanna cook that fish.

Aragorn, don't you think that necklace is a little girly for you?

Wow, Gandalf, Shadowfax just had the biggest poop!

You've got Dutch elm disease! (To an ent)

Bilbo, you cheapskate! Of all the things in Bag End you could give me, this is the last thing I'd want!

Legolas: Did you really think that by hiding under a bush those carbain couldnt see you... and people call me blonde!

Aragorn: Dude i think you need your hearing checked.. how could you not hear all thoes uruk-hai runnig up that hill with creaking armour before you told Frodo to go alone to Mordor? Really....

Legolas: LOOK CROW!

Elrond: so, this a programme on the martix, right?