Gollum: Ugh, ugh....errrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...arg...ARG...ARG. *pant pant* EEEEEEEYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Sound Effect: *Splorp*

Frodo: How revolting!

Gollum: Revolting? Yes, yes Precious. Long has it tormented us. Long has it blocked our nose. Poor Gollum, poor poor Gollum. For years and years has it tormented us, the booger of doom. But now it's ours, OURS!

Frodo was not at all convinced that Gollum's plan of wearing false moustaches would guarantee them safe passage into Mordor, particularly as Gollum appeared to have no idea which way up his should go.

Gollum: Look precious...a new picture.

http://www.hdr-see.de/rotk-see-pics/11/01.jpg

Merry: Good old Gandalf, taking on all those orcs with the power of his uncloaking.


or


Merry: Wow look here's a notch conveniently here for a hobbit.

I feel inclined to use this because of Merry's expression.

Merry: Camelot!
Aragorn: It's only a model.

Aragorn: How about I smack this pesky hobbit's head in this convenient notch right here...

Aragorn: Some day, my son, all this shall be yours.

Merry: Erm...

Merry: "Where the corn is as high as an oliphant's eeeeeeye..!"
Aragorn: "...those are wooden posts, Merry."
Merry: "Well... well fine. I didn't feel like spelling out Oklahoma anyway."

OR

Aragorn: "Do you think Boo Radley is in there, Jem?"
Merry: "No, I don't, and quit calling me Jem."

OR

Aragorn: "Repeat after me... Your mother was a hampster..."
Merry: ... :rolleyes:

Aragorn shows Merry his favourite part of Rivendell- his secret viewpoint for watching the elfmaidens go off to their bath...

After escaping from the halfway house, Aragorn and Merry decided to try playing the Pan Pipes in the Edoras shopping precinct to earn a few quid for a three litre bottle of cider.

Merry: Please Aragorn I think I can cope with the loss of Pippin. I don't need my head cut off.

Aragorn: Look you I just invented this guillotine and I'm going to use it!

And there, behind the garden fence on the back of Rivendell, the two found the long lost Entwives working at Elonds and Sons Tobacco and Athelas Gardening Industry.

OR

Merry: WOW! I never imagined the sea would be this big!
Aragorn: Hrm...That's my bathing pool.

OR

Merry: Are you sure about this? I mean, they look small from here but isn't that just because we're so far away?
Aragorn: No no, they're small and harmless. Come on now, they're only wargs! You can take 'em!
Merry: Well, if you say so. Merry running towards the advancing pack and gets ripped to pieces
Aragorn: Yes! One down, three to go.

OR

Aragorn: Ahhh...My friend, there lies what my heart has longed for such a long time.
Merry: What? Horse dropping?
Aragorn: No. Look further away.
Merry: That booring grey mountain? What do you want all that stone for?
Aragorn: NO! The city you idiot! Minas Tirith!
Merry: Ah, I see... So, can one eat it?
:rolleyes:

Often, Merry would go days without smoking, eating or making trouble. He was a kind and helpful Hobbit who always looked out for others, and as a reward, at the end of the day he went to watch the Pigs on their afternoon flight.

Titanic Rip-Off
Merry: "I'm King of the World!"

OR

Aragorn and Merry play as Legolas and Gimli:
Merry: "Thanks for the box, Legolas!"

OR

Merry: "I can see the ocean!"

OR

Merry gives an Ent a high 10.

Aragorn and Merry divert themselves with their favorite past time--spitting off the bridge at the riders of Rohan.

Aragorn: Hey Merry, I've got a big loogie this time!

:rolleyes:

Merry: "You're sure this isn't some carnival game, where I will be pelted until I am dropped into a tub of water?"

Aragorn: "Of course not. Look sharp now and move the stilts on, as the orcs will believe that Birnam Woods is marching on Dunsinane."

Merry: "But I thought that Tolkien disowned Shakespeare because of the Midsummer elves."

Aragorn: "He did, he did. But that didn't stop him from borrowing the moving trees idea."

Aragorn: I agree, Merry, this is one of Eyore's finer homes.

Who needs Gandalf to make fireworks when you can put gunpowder in an Ent?

OR

The small spider crawling up the wood fascinates Merry.

Aragorn: Are you sure you don't want to watch Gandalf turning Saruman into a newt and then firing him out of a cannon?

Merry: No, I'm good.

Aragorn: Bet you ten pennies two to one Legolas will win? Deal?
Merry: No chance, Gimli will kick dust outta him, but I'll take your money if you feel inclined on giving it free, heh. Deal!

[Some moments in silence]

Merry: Good we have that fence between them an us, they seem crazed
Aragorn: Yep

[Some moments in silence]

Merry: Did you see it?! Did you see that upper-cut?! Did you?!
Aragorn: S**t

The great wide world
 

The kind patience of Aragorn never faltered as he continually humored Merry with his astonishment at the things he found in the wide world outside of the Shire.

Merry: Wow! Look 'Gorn it's GRASS!!!

Aragorn: Look at those swallows.

Merry: African or European?

Aragorn: Egh, I don't know.

Mery and 'Gorn wanted to help in the War, they really did; but what could they do? They were just heads on sticks...

Aragorn and Merry successfully engineered Gandalf's departure for Minas Tirith to coincide with Eowyn's morning sunbathing session.

Aragorn and Merry, big fans of The Kaiser Chiefs, try to climb the fence and sneak in for free at Glastonbury 2005.



OR



Assured by Aragorn that dead Ent wood would make effective wings, Merry was a keen participant in the Bognor Birdman competition.

Merry (singing): Someday my prince will come...
Aragorn: I can see him. On a big white horse.
Merry: Oh! Where?!
Aragorn: Don't you see him? Over there galloping away with Pippin...
Merry: *sigh*

Aragorn: See that, Merry? What do you think it is?
Merry: A cloud?
Aragorn: Maybe (whispering) but if it is it's moving fast and against the wind...
Merry: So what do you think it is then?
Aragorn: I don't know but I suspect...yes it looks like...Yes, it's one of my more irritating ancestors Earendil out on his annual cruise back to earth.

(an even worse continuation)

Merry: Why don't you like him? He seems like a jolly fellow!
Aragorn: Let's just say he has a lot of high-flying plans. Not a down to earth guy if I may say so. He has his head up in the clouds.

OOHhhhhhh...*Groan*:rolleyes:

"Ms. Baaaggginss!!! Can Frodo come out to play?"

OR


The Annual Rohirric Puppet Show just wasn't the same after Sam made off with all the puppets. Still, the Fellowship tried to make do with what they had.


OR


Eowyn didn't know who kept breaking her backyard fence, or why. All she knew was that some day she'd find the little bleeder and make him pay. That was why she coated the fenceposts with super glue.

taunting the Mouth of Sauron
 

Aragorn: “Be gone, foul servant of Sauron!”

Merry: “Yeah! I blow my nose at you! Hey, this is pretty fun.”

Merry: "The picture is coming! The picture is coming!"

http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d7...Bane/Ugluk.jpg

"First thing we do, lets kill all the lawyers!"

OR

"I'll get you my pretty! And your little dog too."

OR

"Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this sun of York;
And all the clouds that lour'd upon our house
In the deep bosom of the ocean buried.
Now are our brows bound with victorious wreaths;
Our bruised arms hung up for monuments;
Our stern alarums changed to merry meetings,
Our dreadful marches to delightful measures.
Grim-visaged war hath smooth'd his wrinkled front;
And now, instead of mounting barded steeds
To fright the souls of fearful adversaries,
He capers nimbly in a lady's chamber
To the lascivious pleasing of a lute.
But I, that am not shaped for sportive tricks,
Nor made to court an amorous looking-glass;
I, that am rudely stamp'd, and want love's majesty
To strut before a wanton ambling nymph;
I, that am curtail'd of this fair proportion,
Cheated of feature by dissembling nature,
Deformed, unfinish'd, sent before my time
Into this breathing world, scarce half made up,
And that so lamely and unfashionable
That dogs bark at me as I halt by them;
Why, I, in this weak piping time of peace,
Have no delight to pass away the time,
Unless to spy my shadow in the sun
And descant on mine own deformity:
And therefore, since I cannot prove a lover,
To entertain these fair well-spoken days,
I am determined to prove a villain
And hate the idle pleasures of these days.
Plots have I laid, inductions dangerous,
By drunken prophecies, libels and dreams,
To set my brother Clarence and the king
In deadly hate the one against the other:
And if King Edward be as true and just
As I am subtle, false and treacherous,
This day should Clarence closely be mew'd up,
About a prophecy, which says that 'G'
Of Edward's heirs the murderer shall be.
Dive, thoughts, down to my soul: here
Clarence comes."

Aragorn's reluctance to take a bath was getting beyond a joke.

Or

"What d'you mean, we're out of man-flesh pretzels already? We bought 10,000 this morning!"
"Well, there are 10,000 of us, chief..."

The Uruk puts a gypsy curse on Merry and Pippin. "Arrr, may all your hobbit hair of your feet fall out and may you lose your taste for pipeweed."

This is the leader of the 200, 000 orcs found on my doorstep
or

Aragorn: So this is what Gandalf look like uncloaked!!

Merry/Aragorn pic
 

Referee Merry Brandybuck inspects this year’s opening in the fence that is to serve as the goal posts in the annual Great Rohirrim Finger Football Tournament.

-or-

Aragorn and Merry find some good sized breaches in the fence around the elven ladies’ swimming pool and put them to good use.

Merry (thinking to himself): ”Wow, this guy is going to be our King someday...awesome.” :p

Ugluk pic
 

To say that filming the three Lord of the Rings movies had taken a tole on PJ would be an understatement...

Uruk: One... Two... Three... Twenty-seven...
Boromir: Hey! No fair! Count correctly, you.
Uruk: Twenty-eight... Twent-
Boromir: You're peaking!
Uruk: GRRR! I never even liked this game! *shoots*

OR

He used Crest White Strips! Shouldn't you?

OR

The Classic Uruk poker face. Go ahead... just tell him he is bluffing.

Eowyn in the morning.

The new chemistry teacher was a clumsy one

OR

Orcs aren't famous for their good looks, but the baldness running in his family was almost too much for Ugluk.

OR

Imagine this: Frodo slips his ring on to his finger just before the orcs arrive at Amon Hen
Orc: Alright, who did that? Who poked me in my eye?
Invisible voice: thihihi
Orc: Ouch! That hurts! I'll get you you....*grabs nearest orc and rips his head off*

OR the truth:

Me in the morning

Ugluk's only 20?! Ooh, he needs to moisturize!!

Ugluk: Me, in Minas Tirith all girls school, at 2am on a Saturday morning? Inconceivable!

Charactor offscreen:Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of edleberries!

ugluk is confused by the guard-of-orthanc's taunt

Ugluk didn't know how to react when asked, "Are you really evil?"

OR

Ugluk: I am Ugluk! I instruct. No that’s no good. I am Ugluk! I order. No that’s no good either.

It took him 4 hours to think of “I command”