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luthien-elvenprincess 12-01-2005 06:17 PM

Grima: oh my gosh...did y'all see that...that box elder bug flew right outta the king's hair! Those things really can last all winter if they find a warm spot!

Meela 12-01-2005 07:04 PM

Grima silently prays that whatever just disintegrated beneath his fingers was dust.

OR

Eowyn went Goth.

Valesse 12-01-2005 07:45 PM

"Hip Uncle" Theoden is interupted in the middle of his "mad flow" just before Grima "Home-slice" Wormtongue could join in with his impressive beat box routine.

Soon afterwards the first and only Rohan Rap group split up due to a dispute between the members.

Boromir88 12-01-2005 08:31 PM

Theoden: What's that grotesque thing?

Grima: Why, it's a new pic!

http://www.tlotr.com/film_pictures/n...otk_gollum.jpg

Sam: Turn around and count to 20. And this time, no peeking!

Gollum: Peeking? Peeking? Very nice friend, oh yes precious very nice. All's we do is play nice hide-and-seek with nice hobbitses and fat one says peeking! Peeking!

Glirdan 12-01-2005 08:48 PM

Gollum: Where's my hair!?!?

or

Sam: Next time I say jump, you say how high! Got it!?

Gollum: What is the stupid fat hobitsess saying!? :confused:

Oddwen 12-01-2005 08:50 PM

Sam: BANG! You're dead!
Gollum: Huh?!

Or...

Sam: Hey! You've got three belly buttons!

Or...

Sam: Hey! Nice six-pack!

Or...

Sam: Hey, that's a nasty cut on your elbow. Someone should look at that.

Boromir88 12-01-2005 08:52 PM

Sam doesn't it take it so well that Gollum accused him of taking his wig.

mormegil 12-01-2005 09:21 PM

Sam: You villian, you don't even really exist and shouldn't be here. You're a computer generated image

Gollum: What's he mean precious, what's a computer generated image?

Sam: Ah you know, the Gaffer's delight, COM-PU-TUR GEN-UR-ATED IM-AJ you can tweek 'em distort 'em put 'em in a stew.

The Elf-warrior 12-01-2005 09:47 PM

Grima plots to become the Disco King. OR

Grima: "Is this a dagger which I see before me?"
Theoden: "It's a false creation of your heat-oppressed brain." OR

Grima: "Ha,ha,ha! That fool is arguing with a statue." OR

Grima: "Nobody tosses an evil counselor!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Samwise: "Now look, Gollum; it's not polite to not respond when someone says hello. (Pauses.) All right, I'll smack you if you don't say anything! (Sam smacks Gollum.) Ow! You are nothing but a statue!" (He storms away.)

Valesse 12-01-2005 10:05 PM

Sam: Hey.. Stinker... Pull my finger.

OR

Gollum (thinking): hmm..tempting, but the I prefer my hobbit fingers lean.

OR

(Sam pokes Gollum's stomach)
Gollum (ala Pillsbury doughboy): HmmHmm!

Ordimor 12-01-2005 10:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Valesse
Sam: Hey.. Stinker... Pull my finger.


HAAHAAHAA!!!!

I don't know if I can compete with that one!!!!

Gurthang 12-01-2005 10:34 PM

Sam and Gollum in the championship match for the staring contests.

OR

Sam: "Hey, you're using my scarf as a loincloth!"

OR

Sam: "I bet you can't lick your elbow."

OR

Gollum watches in horror as Sam's hair begins to eat Sam's head. He quickly checks to make sure he doesn't have any hair.

OR

Gollum(thinking): "Eww! What's that between his teeth!"

OR

Gollum: "Wow, this is Gurthang's 800th Post!"

The Only Real Estel 12-01-2005 10:47 PM

Smeagol: "What? I do have problems with hair loss!? And all this time, my friends never told me..."

Gollum: "We told you, Precious, yes, many times, we told you!"

Hookbill the Goomba 12-02-2005 12:43 AM

Sam: And another thing! I think you've got far too much... What are you staring at?

Gollum: Why has that grey man got no cloak?

Sam: Ah... Mr. Frodo, Don't turn around!

OR

Sam: Look, its quite simple! If the ball passes the boundary without bouncing, then it’s a 6, if it dose bounce its only 4. If the ball its the stumps then you're out.

Gollum: ...?

OR YET!

Sam tells Gollum that there is no Father Christmas!

Gollum: :(

Eomer of the Rohirrim 12-02-2005 06:34 AM

Gollum finally learns the truth about Santa Claus.

Mithalwen 12-02-2005 06:46 AM

Sam points out that Gollum has mistaken Immac for Elnett.....

*Immac is hair remover while Elnett is hairspray... for those people to whom these brand names mean nothing......

Hookbill the Goomba 12-02-2005 07:24 AM

Gollum sees the large pimple on Sam's nose start to dance.

OR

Sam: Put your hands up! This is a gun!

Gollum: ?

The Only Real Estel 12-02-2005 07:53 AM

Gollum puts on his best innocent look when questioned about the tacks on Sam's seat.

Gurthang 12-02-2005 09:01 AM

Sam: "We're out of Pizza."
Gollum: :eek:

OR

Anorexic Smeagol is shocked to tears when 'the fat one' says he looks a bit chubby himself.

OR

Sam: "Don't give me those puppy-dog eyes! You can't eat my arm and don't ask again!"

Maeggaladiel 12-02-2005 12:45 PM

Sam gets his first directing job on LOTR: THE MUSICAL

Sam- No, no NO! You're doing it all wrong! You CAN'T have a duet with YOURSELF!!

Smeagol- But, we's two people, precious!

Gollum- Yess, we are!

Formendacil 12-02-2005 01:01 PM

Gollum: "Is this a hobbit I see before me?"

mormegil 12-02-2005 01:36 PM

Gollum just doesn't get it
 
Sam: The Pythagorean Theorem states thata2 + b2 = c2, it's really quite simple if you just think about it. How can you learn quantum physics without understand this basic principle of geometry?

Hookbill the Goomba 12-02-2005 02:06 PM

Gollum finds out that his long journey to the North Poll was in vain as it turns out Penguins live in the South Poll.

Lalwendë 12-02-2005 02:35 PM

Gollum is dumbfounded as Sam exclaims: "Cool! You're the little fella with the light up finger aren't you? So you didn't 'Go Home' after all? Where did Elliott hide you? Hey, is there going to be a sequel?"

Boromir88 12-02-2005 03:17 PM

Sam: You're fired.

Lalwendë 12-02-2005 06:06 PM

Sam: "A great best man you turned out to be! Bringing the Ring on the stag night to Mount Doom and then getting plastered and dancing like an idiot and losing it in that ruddy big 'ole!"

Gothmog 12-02-2005 08:13 PM

Sam and Gollum discussing some great questions of ME:
 
Gollum: But do they have wings or not?
Sam: Well, if we look at the facts..................

OR

Gollum: I don't understand. Who saved Frodo if it wasn't Arwen?
Sam: Well, there's this guy Glorfindel...
Gollum: But didn't he die at the fall of Gondolin? I don't get it

OR

Gollum: Why can Legolas run on the snow, but I can't?
Sam: Well, I think that...................

OR

Gollum: Is Eru God? What do you mean by that? Do you mean that Eru is Tolkien's God, the God of ME or the one and only God?
Sam: Come on, don't do this to me... Not now, I'm too tired!

OR

Gollum: Round eares? Aren't they pointy?
Sam:..........

OR

Gollum: I'm supposed to cast myself and the ring into the fire? But what will Eru do then? Make me trip or what?
Sam:...........

And so on.......

And something totally unrelated:

Sam: Did you take my baby-blue contacts?
Gollum: Take? Me? Gollum doesn't know what fat hobbit is talking about!

Gil-Galad 12-02-2005 10:16 PM

Sam: i never wanted to be a gardener... i always wanted to be... A LUMBERJACK! swinging from tree to tree as they float down the mighty rivers of Ossiriand!

Hookbill the Goomba 12-03-2005 12:44 AM

It seems that Sam's nose is trying to escape from his face.

OR

Sam: Wasn’t Bag-End just here?

Gollum We doesn’t know what it means...

Maeggaladiel 12-03-2005 02:35 AM

Smeagol knew something was wrong the minute Sam looked at him. Since when did hobbits have three eyeballs?

Gothmog 12-03-2005 05:24 AM

Gollum the Great (Schizofrenic) (sp?)
 
Sam: It's you! You, you stinking creature!
Gollum: What does it mean "you"? Me or...
Gollum: ...me?
Gollum: We don't know my precioussss
Gollum: Precious? Really? Oh, thank me!
Gollum: Me is welcome
Gollum: Me is always so polite! But what about fat hobbit?
Gollum: No, he is not me nor polite. Lets bite him!
Gollum: Yes, we do that.......

Estelyn Telcontar 12-03-2005 10:44 AM

Sam: No, no, no! You don't rip it open and eat it all at once. It's an advent calendar : CA - LEN - DAR! That means one a day. See? You open one little window and there's one chocolate for you to eat, and tomorrow you can have the next one.

Gollum: One chocolateses to rule them all? But chocolateses is my precious. We wants them, we wants them all!!

Sam: Oh, you're hopeless!

Holbytlass 12-03-2005 12:09 PM

Gollum: Bludger? Eh, what's bludger? I didn't make it hit you, maybes someone who lookes like Ssmeagol, stupid fat hobbit.

Lalwendë 12-03-2005 02:36 PM

Sam: "Don't cry any more Smeagol! Look, I've found your contact lens."

Boromir88 12-03-2005 06:00 PM

Gollum tries to imagine what Sam means when he said he'd hit him with something larger than a rock if he didn't stop making jokes about Momma Gamgee.

Rune Son of Bjarne 12-03-2005 07:34 PM

Sam explaining Gollum just how to use The One Ring.

Lhunardawen 12-04-2005 02:10 AM

Gollum at his best in a game of Statues.

dancing spawn of ungoliant 12-04-2005 02:35 AM

Sam: Repeat after me as fast as you can: A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.
Gollum: ..?

Gothmog 12-04-2005 05:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dancing spawn of ungoliant
Sam: Repeat after me as fast as you can: A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.
Gollum: ..?

Sam: Is that to hard? Well, ok. Try this: Three switched witches watch three Swatch watch switches. Which switched witch watch which Swatch watch switch?
Gollum................???????????????

OR

Sam: And that hair cut is soooo last year.
Gollum: What does it say, precious? My hair is wrong? Noooooooo...

OR

Sam: And what's that then? Aha, I got you, you stinker!
Gollum: That's my elbow. Are fat hobbit all right? To much Mordor Water again?

Hookbill the Goomba 12-04-2005 08:32 AM

Gollum is horrified by the new picture

Sam: It's your fault they are replacing us!

http://img-nex.theonering.net/images/scrapbook/1776.jpg

Bilbo: Mmm! This cake will be delicious-... Okay, which one of you stole it? :mad:

OR

Bilbo's Robot Dance wasn't really understood in Middle Earth.


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