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Grima: oh my gosh...did y'all see that...that box elder bug flew right outta the king's hair! Those things really can last all winter if they find a warm spot!
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Grima silently prays that whatever just disintegrated beneath his fingers was dust.
OR Eowyn went Goth. |
"Hip Uncle" Theoden is interupted in the middle of his "mad flow" just before Grima "Home-slice" Wormtongue could join in with his impressive beat box routine.
Soon afterwards the first and only Rohan Rap group split up due to a dispute between the members. |
Theoden: What's that grotesque thing?
Grima: Why, it's a new pic! http://www.tlotr.com/film_pictures/n...otk_gollum.jpg Sam: Turn around and count to 20. And this time, no peeking! Gollum: Peeking? Peeking? Very nice friend, oh yes precious very nice. All's we do is play nice hide-and-seek with nice hobbitses and fat one says peeking! Peeking! |
Gollum: Where's my hair!?!?
or Sam: Next time I say jump, you say how high! Got it!? Gollum: What is the stupid fat hobitsess saying!? :confused: |
Sam: BANG! You're dead!
Gollum: Huh?! Or... Sam: Hey! You've got three belly buttons! Or... Sam: Hey! Nice six-pack! Or... Sam: Hey, that's a nasty cut on your elbow. Someone should look at that. |
Sam doesn't it take it so well that Gollum accused him of taking his wig.
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Sam: You villian, you don't even really exist and shouldn't be here. You're a computer generated image
Gollum: What's he mean precious, what's a computer generated image? Sam: Ah you know, the Gaffer's delight, COM-PU-TUR GEN-UR-ATED IM-AJ you can tweek 'em distort 'em put 'em in a stew. |
Grima plots to become the Disco King. OR
Grima: "Is this a dagger which I see before me?" Theoden: "It's a false creation of your heat-oppressed brain." OR Grima: "Ha,ha,ha! That fool is arguing with a statue." OR Grima: "Nobody tosses an evil counselor!" --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Samwise: "Now look, Gollum; it's not polite to not respond when someone says hello. (Pauses.) All right, I'll smack you if you don't say anything! (Sam smacks Gollum.) Ow! You are nothing but a statue!" (He storms away.) |
Sam: Hey.. Stinker... Pull my finger.
OR Gollum (thinking): hmm..tempting, but the I prefer my hobbit fingers lean. OR (Sam pokes Gollum's stomach) Gollum (ala Pillsbury doughboy): HmmHmm! |
Quote:
HAAHAAHAA!!!! I don't know if I can compete with that one!!!! |
Sam and Gollum in the championship match for the staring contests.
OR Sam: "Hey, you're using my scarf as a loincloth!" OR Sam: "I bet you can't lick your elbow." OR Gollum watches in horror as Sam's hair begins to eat Sam's head. He quickly checks to make sure he doesn't have any hair. OR Gollum(thinking): "Eww! What's that between his teeth!" OR Gollum: "Wow, this is Gurthang's 800th Post!" |
Smeagol: "What? I do have problems with hair loss!? And all this time, my friends never told me..."
Gollum: "We told you, Precious, yes, many times, we told you!" |
Sam: And another thing! I think you've got far too much... What are you staring at?
Gollum: Why has that grey man got no cloak? Sam: Ah... Mr. Frodo, Don't turn around! OR Sam: Look, its quite simple! If the ball passes the boundary without bouncing, then it’s a 6, if it dose bounce its only 4. If the ball its the stumps then you're out. Gollum: ...? OR YET! Sam tells Gollum that there is no Father Christmas! Gollum: :( |
Gollum finally learns the truth about Santa Claus.
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Sam points out that Gollum has mistaken Immac for Elnett.....
*Immac is hair remover while Elnett is hairspray... for those people to whom these brand names mean nothing...... |
Gollum sees the large pimple on Sam's nose start to dance.
OR Sam: Put your hands up! This is a gun! Gollum: ? |
Gollum puts on his best innocent look when questioned about the tacks on Sam's seat.
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Sam: "We're out of Pizza."
Gollum: :eek: OR Anorexic Smeagol is shocked to tears when 'the fat one' says he looks a bit chubby himself. OR Sam: "Don't give me those puppy-dog eyes! You can't eat my arm and don't ask again!" |
Sam gets his first directing job on LOTR: THE MUSICAL
Sam- No, no NO! You're doing it all wrong! You CAN'T have a duet with YOURSELF!! Smeagol- But, we's two people, precious! Gollum- Yess, we are! |
Gollum: "Is this a hobbit I see before me?"
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Gollum just doesn't get it
Sam: The Pythagorean Theorem states thata2 + b2 = c2, it's really quite simple if you just think about it. How can you learn quantum physics without understand this basic principle of geometry?
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Gollum finds out that his long journey to the North Poll was in vain as it turns out Penguins live in the South Poll.
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Gollum is dumbfounded as Sam exclaims: "Cool! You're the little fella with the light up finger aren't you? So you didn't 'Go Home' after all? Where did Elliott hide you? Hey, is there going to be a sequel?"
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Sam: You're fired.
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Sam: "A great best man you turned out to be! Bringing the Ring on the stag night to Mount Doom and then getting plastered and dancing like an idiot and losing it in that ruddy big 'ole!"
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Sam and Gollum discussing some great questions of ME:
Gollum: But do they have wings or not?
Sam: Well, if we look at the facts.................. OR Gollum: I don't understand. Who saved Frodo if it wasn't Arwen? Sam: Well, there's this guy Glorfindel... Gollum: But didn't he die at the fall of Gondolin? I don't get it OR Gollum: Why can Legolas run on the snow, but I can't? Sam: Well, I think that................... OR Gollum: Is Eru God? What do you mean by that? Do you mean that Eru is Tolkien's God, the God of ME or the one and only God? Sam: Come on, don't do this to me... Not now, I'm too tired! OR Gollum: Round eares? Aren't they pointy? Sam:.......... OR Gollum: I'm supposed to cast myself and the ring into the fire? But what will Eru do then? Make me trip or what? Sam:........... And so on....... And something totally unrelated: Sam: Did you take my baby-blue contacts? Gollum: Take? Me? Gollum doesn't know what fat hobbit is talking about! |
Sam: i never wanted to be a gardener... i always wanted to be... A LUMBERJACK! swinging from tree to tree as they float down the mighty rivers of Ossiriand!
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It seems that Sam's nose is trying to escape from his face.
OR Sam: Wasn’t Bag-End just here? Gollum We doesn’t know what it means... |
Smeagol knew something was wrong the minute Sam looked at him. Since when did hobbits have three eyeballs?
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Gollum the Great (Schizofrenic) (sp?)
Sam: It's you! You, you stinking creature!
Gollum: What does it mean "you"? Me or... Gollum: ...me? Gollum: We don't know my precioussss Gollum: Precious? Really? Oh, thank me! Gollum: Me is welcome Gollum: Me is always so polite! But what about fat hobbit? Gollum: No, he is not me nor polite. Lets bite him! Gollum: Yes, we do that....... |
Sam: No, no, no! You don't rip it open and eat it all at once. It's an advent calendar : CA - LEN - DAR! That means one a day. See? You open one little window and there's one chocolate for you to eat, and tomorrow you can have the next one.
Gollum: One chocolateses to rule them all? But chocolateses is my precious. We wants them, we wants them all!! Sam: Oh, you're hopeless! |
Gollum: Bludger? Eh, what's bludger? I didn't make it hit you, maybes someone who lookes like Ssmeagol, stupid fat hobbit.
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Sam: "Don't cry any more Smeagol! Look, I've found your contact lens."
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Gollum tries to imagine what Sam means when he said he'd hit him with something larger than a rock if he didn't stop making jokes about Momma Gamgee.
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Sam explaining Gollum just how to use The One Ring.
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Gollum at his best in a game of Statues.
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Sam: Repeat after me as fast as you can: A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.
Gollum: ..? |
Quote:
Gollum................??????????????? OR Sam: And that hair cut is soooo last year. Gollum: What does it say, precious? My hair is wrong? Noooooooo... OR Sam: And what's that then? Aha, I got you, you stinker! Gollum: That's my elbow. Are fat hobbit all right? To much Mordor Water again? |
Gollum is horrified by the new picture
Sam: It's your fault they are replacing us! http://img-nex.theonering.net/images/scrapbook/1776.jpg Bilbo: Mmm! This cake will be delicious-... Okay, which one of you stole it? :mad: OR Bilbo's Robot Dance wasn't really understood in Middle Earth. |
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